BARTHOLOMEW FAIR OR 
Variety of fancies, where you may find  
a fair of wares, and all to please your mind.    depiction of a snake eater at Bartholomew Fair 
With The several Enormities and misdemeanours, which are there seen and acted.  
LONDON Printed for Richard Harper at the Bible and Harp in Smithfield 1641.   

BARTHOLOMEW FAIR OR Variety of Fancies, where you may find a fair of wares, and all to please your mind.  
With The several enormities and misdemeanours, which are there seen and acted.  
BArtholomew Fair gins on the twenty fourth day of August, and is then of so vast an extent, that it is contained in no less than four several parishes, namely, Christ Church, Great and Little Saint Bartholomewes', and Saint Sepulchers. Hither resort people of all sorts, High and Low, Rich and Poor, from cities, towns, and countries; of all sects, Papists, Atheists, Anabaptists, and Brownists: and of all conditions, good and bad, virtuous and vicious, Knaves and fools, Cuckolds and Cuckoldmakers, Bawds, and Whores, Pimps and Panders, Rogues and Rascals, the little Loudone and the witty wanton.  
And now that we may the better take an exact survey of the whole Fair, First let us enter into Christ Church Cloisters, which are now hung so full of pictures, that you would take that place or rather mistake it for Saint Peter in Rome; only this is the difference, those there are set up for worship, these here for sale: But by the way, I'll tell you a tale of a precise puritan, who came in all haste from Lincoln to London, purposely to see the Fair, where he had never been before, and coming out of newgate margot, through Christ-Church into the Cloisters, and clevating the snow balls of his eyes, he presently espies the picture of Christ and his twelve Apostles, with the virgin Mary, and many other Saints departed; at which sight the very thought and strong conceit of superstation set such a sharp edge upon the pure mettle of his inflamed zeal, that very manfully like a man of va'our, and son of mar, he steps to a stall well stored with two-pany halberds, and wooden backswords, where having armed himself Capa Pea, (as he thought) he gins in a violent passion, to exclaim against the I do atry of the times, that it was grown abominable; protesting that the whore of B●bilo● was crept into Christ Church, and that the good motions of the Spirit had brought him to own, to make a sacrifice of those Idle Idols, to his just angor and holy indignation, which begot no small laughter to the multitude, which thronged about him, that put him into such a chafe, in so much that at the last, like Rosicleare, the Knight of the sun, or Don Quixot, most furiously he makes an assault, and battery upon the poor innocent pictures, till the shopkeepers apprehending him had him before a Constable, who forthwith commited my little hot fury to the stocks, where we will leave him to cool his heels, whilst we take a further view of the Fair. And now being arrived through the long walk, to Saint Bartholomewes' hospital; that place (me thinks) appears to me a fucking Exchange, and may be so termed, not unfitly; for there many a handsome wench exchanges her maidenhead for a small favour, as a moiety of bone lace, a slight silver bodkin, 〈◊〉 hooptring, or the like toy; for she comes not thither with her sweetheart, to serve her own turn only, but also to satisfy his desire; according to the old saying, one good turn deserves another.  
Let us now make a progress into Smithfield, which is the heart of the Fair, where in my heart I think there are more motions in a day, to be seen, then are in a term in Westminster Hall to b● h●ard. But whilst you take notice of the several motions there, take this caution along with you, let one eye watch narrowly that no one's ●and make a motion into your pocket, which is the next way to move you to impatience.  
The Fair is full of gold and silver-drawers: Just as Lent is to the Fishmonger, so is Bartholomew Fair to the Pickpocket; It is his high harvest, which is never bad, but when his cart goes up holborn.  
The Citty-marshalls are as dreadful to these youngsters, as the Plague is to our London Actors: That restrains them from playing, and they hinder these from working; you may quickly know these nimble youths, and likely find them very busie-bodyes in quarrels, which nothing concern them, and sometimes in discourse with their wenches, (the sisters of the scabbard) for the most part to be found in a crowd or throng of people. Their buttocks walk up and down the Fair very demurely; The end of their preambulation is to be taken up by some countrey-Gull, or city-cockscombe, and then your hand is no sooner in one of their plackets, but theirs is as nimble in one of your pockets; and if you take not heed of them, they will give you fairings with the pox. Some of your cutpurses are in fee with cheating costermongers, who have a trick now and then to throw down a basket of refuge pears, which prove cloake-peares to those that shall lose their hats or chokes in striving who shall gather fastest. They have many dainty baits to draw a bit, and (if you be not vigilant) you shall hardly escape their nets: fine fowlers they are, for every finger of theirs is a lime-twig, with which they catch dotterels. They are excellently well read in Phyfiognomy; for they will know how strong you are in the purse by looking in your face; and for the more certainty thereof, they will follow you close, and never leave you till you draw your purse, or they for you, which they'll be sure to have, (if you look not to it) though they kiss newgate for it. It is remarkable, and worth your observation, to behold and hear the strange fights, and confused noise in the Fair. Here a Knave in a fool's co●te, with a trumpet sounding, or on a drum beating, invites you and would feign persuade you to see his puppets; There a Rogue like a wild woodman, or in an Antic shap like an Incubus, desires your company, to view his motion; on the other side, Hocus Pocus with three yards of tape or ribbin in's hand, showing his art of Legerdemain, to the admiration and astonishment of a company of cockoloaches. Amongst these you shall see a grey goose-cap (as wise as the rest,) with a what do ye lack, in his mouth, standing is both; shaking a rattle, or scraping on a fiddle, with which children are so taken, that they presently cry out for these fopperies; And all these together make such a distracted noise, that you would think Babel were not comparable to it. Here there are also your gamesters in action; some turning of a whimsy, others throwing for Pewter, who can quickly dissolve a round shilling into a three half penny saucer. Long-lane at this time looks very fair, and puts out her best , with the wrong side outward, so turned for their bette turning off; And cloth Fair, is now in great request: well far the Alehouses therein; yet better may a man far (but at a dearer rate) in the pig market, alias Pasty-nooke, or Pie corner, where pigs are all hours of the day on the stalls piping hot, and would cry (it they could speak) come eat me, but they are so damnable dear, and the reckon for them are so saucy, that a man had as good lick his fingers in a bawdy house, as at this time come into one of those houses, where the fat greasy Hasteffe instructs N●ck Froth her tapster, to ask a shilling more for a pig's head of a woman big with child, in regard of her longing, then of another ordinary cumer. These unconscionable exactions, and excessive inflammations of reckon made that angle of the Fair too hot for my company; therefore I resolved with myself to steer my course another way, and having once got out, not to come again in haste.  
Now farewell to the Fair; you who are wise,  
Preserve your Purses, whilst you please your eyes.   
FINIS.