A Catalogue of the Petitions, ordered to be drawn up and presented to the Honourable House at their next Session.  

A Petition of the Brewers and Butchers, that the former may be incorporated with the Vintners; and the latter with the Apothecaries.  
A Petition of the Banbox-men and Trunk-makers, that the Athenian Mercury, and all Weekly Papers of the like nature be continued.  
A Petition of 20000 Tradesmen, that if their Wives offer to draw Bills more than once a Night upon them, they may be empowered honourably to reject them.  
A Petition of the Quack-Doctors, that the Constables may not disturb the industrious Nightwalkers in the Strand, Fleetstreet, and Cheapside.  
A Petition of Doctor S-lm-n, and two more of the Fraternity, that they may have the sole Benefit of a new Religion, by them lately invented, and that no other Persons presume to interlope upon them.  
A Petition of the Quakers, that their bare Word may be equivalent to Swearing; and Nonsense to true Reasoning; and likewise that it may be lawful for them to fornicate out of their own Tribe.  
A Petition of all the married Women in the Kingdom of England, Dominion of Wales, and Town of Berwick upon Tweed, that the Dog-days be immediately repealed.  
A Petition of the moderate Divines, that the 30th. of Jan. and 29th. of May be discarded out of the Almanac, as being great Eye sores to the Godly Party.  
A Petition of the Maids, that the Mosaical Signs of Virginity, be declared void and unnecessary, and unfit to be required under the Christian Dispensation.  
A Petition of the Ribbon-Weavers, that Shoulder-Knots and Pantaloons of happy Memory be revived.  
A Petition of the Booksellers, to declare, that Licensing of Books is Popish and Superstitious, and destructive of the Liberty of the Subject.  
A Petition of the Inhabitants of whitefriars, that their Bounds be enlarged, that they may have room enough to receive the broken Merchants and Tradesmen that daily flock in to them.  
A Petition of the Poets for a speedy Restauration of Claret, and the utter Banishment of little diminutive Pagan Bottles.  
A Petition of the Midwives and Highwaymen that Savin and Hemp be rooted out of the Commonwealth.  
A Petition of the Glasiers and Tallow-Chandlers, that it may be lawful to break Windows on Thanksgiving-days, where no Lights are set out.  
A Petition of Dr. Oats, that every Evidence for the future shall be obliged to repair to him for a Licence.  
A Petition of the Prisoners in Newgate, that their Confessions and dying Speeches may not be Printed before they are Hanged.  
A Petition of Dr. Partridge, that no Almanac-maker pretend to prophesy for the Government but himself.  
A Petition of the Fiddlers, that kicking down Stairs, and broken Heads be reckoned no Scandal.  
A Petition of the Players, that they may be allowed Plurality of Wives, in order to be sure of a Maidenhead once in their Lives.  
A second Petition of the Booksellers, that when a dull heavy Book lies upon their Hands, it may be publicly burnt to promote the Sale of it.  
A Petition of Bully D—son, and the rest of his Brethren, that Swearing and Roaring be adjudged as effectual a Sign of Valour, as Fight.  
A Petition of several young Gentlemen of the Inns of Court, that a Statue be erected to Dr. Wall, at the public Charge.  
A Petition of the Northern Attorneys, for a speedy Conclusion of the War, because at present the People can't spare Money to go to Law.  
A Petition of the Harlots, that Pluralities be denied to all married Women, of what Degree or Quality soever.  
A Petition of the Coffeehouses, that they may be privileged in Fornication up Stairs, and for Treason and false news below.  
A Petition of the Country Parsons, that, in Favour of them, the House will be pleased to take off the additional Duty upon Tobacco.  
A Petition of the City Clergymen's Daughters, that Increase and Multiply be made the Eleventh Commandment.  
A Petition of the Knights of the Post, that all the Pillories in the Kingdom be burnt on the next Thanksgiving-Day.  
A Petition of the Tradesmen in an about London, to prohibit the Exportation of Leather, lest if the War should continue a Year or two longer, we should be forced, like our Ancestors, to join Leather in our own Defence.  
A Petition of the Drawers about the Temple and Covent-Garden, that they may be allowed to lie a Bed till Eleven.  
A Petition of the Royal Society, that the Comb-makers, Mousetrap Men, and Athenians, be suppressed, as Interlopers upon them.  
A Petition of the Chimneysweepers, that they may have the scouring of all Ecclesiastical Consciences every Spring and Fall.  
A Petition of the City, that none be suffered to talk Treason, but such as are well-affected to the Commonwealth.  
A Petition of the College of Physicians, that the Importation of Dutch Doctors be prohibited, as prejudicial to the Manufacture of our own Universities.  
A Petition of the Tailors, that Leave be given to bring in a long Bill to promote new Fashions.  
A Petition of the Seamen, that the Parsons may not meddle with Politics, but every one keep in his own Element.  
A Petition of the Barbers, that they may be made Free of the Church, since the Divines have usurped upon their Trade by turning Trimmers.  
A Petition of the Country Innkeepers, that the Soldiers quartered in their Houses would be content to Tap their Hogsheads, but not their Wives or Daughters.  
A Petition of the dissenting Divines, that none shall be admitted into the Class, but Men of strong Lungs, and stronger Backs.  
A Petition of the Anabaptists, that they may be empowered to erect a public Dipping Pond at Lambeth Ferry.  
A Petition of the Painters, that they may have leave to enter all the Conventicles in Town, and draw their respective Pastors in their proper Colours.  
A Petition of the Wastcoateers of Wapping, that it may be lawful for them to go sixteen Months with Child, in Cases of Necessity.  
A Petition of the Printers, that all Distinctions of Bawdry, Blasphemy and Treason be utterly abolished.  
A Petition of the Proctors of the Commons to have Fornication encouraged, that they may have the sole punishing of it afterwards.  
A Petition of the Claret-drinkers, tha Red Noses shall qualify People for all sorts of Preferment.  
A Petition of several Mayors and Aldermen, that Money be adjudged to comprehend both Wit and Sense, and good Breeding.  
A Petition of several Recorders in the Kingdom, that making of Speeches be utterly abolished, unless Bulls be tolerated.  
A Petition of the Ordinary of Newgate, that all sorts of breaking be declared sinful, but especially Sabbath-breaking.  
A Petition of the Orphans, that the Monument be hung with Mourning once a Year, and that at the Expense of the Chamber.  
A Petition of the several Ladies living near Westminster, that all Deserters be brought to condign Punishment.  
A Petition of the Athenians, that they may have a Patent for their new Invention of making second hand Spira's.  
A Petition of the Parish Clarks, that a Day be set apart to Celebrate the Pious Memory of Hopkins and Sternhold, and that the City Poet draw up the Service for the Day.   
And for your Worships then we'll pray,  
For eke, for ever, and for ay.  
FINIS.