THE Coffeehouse DIALOGUE Examined and Refuted: By some Neighbours in the Country, Wellwishers to the Kingdom's Interest.  Coffee-man. 
YOur Servant Good Mr. B. 'tis News to see you here.  Mr. B. 
Say you so Sir? Truly I had not come now, were it not to peruse a Paper I have heard much Condemned, being Entitled A Coffee House Dialogue, &c, pray have it you?  Coff. 
Yes Sir, Yonder Gentlemen are Reading it, if you please to step thither, you may see it, they are Neighbours.  B. 
Good Morrow, Neighbours, If you please, I will make bold with that Paper when you have read it.  Neighbours. 
And welcome Neighbour B. or, if you please I will begin it, and Read it to you.  B. 
With all my Heart if you please. He reads it, and having done asks his Opinion,  Neighbours. 
Well Sir, what think ye of it?  B. 
Troth, I as much Condemn it as the rest, I conceive it only a Trick to get money, though they abuse the Kingdom by so doing, for which I will give you my Reasons, which are these (the pretended Lawyer alleges) several things mentioned by Mr. Y. which are palpable absurdities, of his own Invention; which are these, to pay Debts without Money, make London Streets Navigable Rivers, to Harbour the King's Ships on the top of a Hill, under a pretence to secure them from Wind and Wether, are all the mere Capricious Humours of his own Windmill pate: as for the Register by him mentioned, none but a Dough-baked Lawyer would deny the Advantages thereby accrueing: But to tell you the Truth, our Lawyer deserves what I could wish him, which is, an Hours Discourse with the person who by him is (incognito) thus abused, and you would soon find who were the most reasonable man.  Neighbours. 
I but Neighbour, you see the Person whose part you take, uses a great many Tricks to makes Words pass for Oracles, by saying d'ye understand me; P'shau, telling him he was a Chairman and the like.  B. 
By your leave Neighbours, let me tell ye 'tis an easy thing for a Painter to disguise a man with the shape of a Munky, as they have done him by alleging things, I am sure he would blush to own, and laugh to think; he which makes him speak all that Balderdash, he never thought could speak no better sense himself, as whoever Reads may blush to see so weak, nonsensical Arguments urged by a Barrister which may be confuted by a Pedlar.  
First, Is it probable a person of his Judgement should ever brag he was a Chairman, as our Nicholas Nemo alleges.  
Secondly, That he should pretend to understand there was a Plot before all the World else.  
Thirdly, To pretend a knowledge of a Min he never see before, and to Condemn the Clergy in General, a sad parcel of Compacted lies, so ridiculous as would make him seem as much a Sot as our Half Witted Author, did not the World know him much better than they are ever like to know the other.  Neighbours. 
But Neighbour B. we do believe all you have said, and say moreover, we believe the Author ●●es in taxing him with the Root of the Follies therein mentioned, which are not worth rehearsal, being so grandly idle as in particular to tax him with showing the Word without Doors, a thing which we are Confident he scorns to foul his Fingers withal.  B. 
Gramercy Neighbours, now you come to the Touch, my Friend being intermeddled withal, who meddles with no body being now acquitted, give me leave to show you the Antic Author in his several Monkey Posture, and I have done.  
And First our Young Barrister, or rather Sucking Barrister, if he must be a Barrister, Pleads thus, the Question between us, is not what hath and may be done, but what hath and may be justly done: Quoth he, thus he must argue every thing that both been done, hath been justly done, which, is like his Logic●● quoth our Ignoramus he 〈◊〉 said nothing to the purose, When he can prove William and Henry justly excluded Robert, the Reason alleged, because William was not an honest man, not because Robert was dishonest, and then Winds it up with a What think ye, was not this a brave Fellow to be in Print (thus far Don Quixott, who will needs Fight with the Windmill of his own Brain, for want of better employment: and allege one man's Writings to cut another man's Throat, making a man Right or Wrong, Vindicate what he Detests and Abhors, he would be loath to do the like by another's Bastard, now if our Young Barrow Hog, Barrister I mean, can prove Mr. Y. ever vindicated this Libel, our Dispute is ended: if he dare not affirm it, let him go like a Noddy, as he is; But by the way, the Question is, first, Whether Robert were excluded? if he were, by whom? if it be answered as it needs must, by a Parliament, Pray who shall we Credit, our Lawyer or the Parliament whether the Thing were Just or Unjust, if he be a man of such Parts as to inform the Pillar of the Kingdom in Matter of Justice, certainly such a man deserves to be controller General of all Public Proceed, rather than a Chairman, as without sense he (not for want of Folly, calls Mr. Y.  Neighbours. 
Troth Neighbour B. your Arguments are undeniable Truths, Pray let's have some more of them; for certainly, none who is a Wellwisher to the Welfare of the Kingdom, but would gladly hear them with delight.  B. 
Neighbours, I was never cut out to meddle with States affairs, I had rather Mind my Plough at home: But this I say, since, as he affirms it for a Truth the D. is a Papist, certainly Queen Mary's days are not forgot yet, and God forbidden they should be ever renewed: He pretends it a hard Case the D. should be denied the Liberty of every ordinary Subject, in Case of Conformity: But in plain Terms, who can trust to any thing in that Case, so long as the Notable old Shaver at Rome, can Absolve who he will, for what Crymes he pleases. I will assure you this, let our Young Prate-a●pace say what he will, for my own part; I will neither meddle nor make. But let the Superior Power freely Act in their own Sphere, and what they do I will never dispute, whether it be Lawful or Unlawful, since it is my Duty to Obey, not to Rule. I will accordingly take their Words for Law, notwithstanding our Young Braggadocio pretends to know more Law than they. If they should think fit either Enact Laws for, or against the Ds. Person or Estate, I should as certainly Believe what they Acted, was done as much according to Law, as if our Young Lawyer had been their Oracle, which God forbidden: This, Gentlemen and Neighbours, is the real Sentiment of what I not only think, but Resolve to stand by in Spite of our Young Novicely Lawyer.  Neighbours. 
Well spoke neighbour B. we are all of the same Mind, and until our Lawyer can find better Reasons, we shall be hardly induced to alter our settled Opinion: so Honest Neighbour we bid you good buy.  B. 
Farewell, Neighbours, Heartily.  
FINIS.