A DESCRIPTION Of the Passage of THOMAS late Earl of STRAFFORD, over the River of Styx, with the conference betwixt him, CHARON, and WILLIAM NOY.  
Printed in the year 1641.   

A Dialogue, etc.  Charon. 
IN the name of Rhodom●nt what ails me? I have tuggd, and tuggd above these two hours, yet can hardly steer one foot forward: either my dried nerves deceive my arm, or my vexed Bark carries an unwonted burden. From whence comest thou Passenger?  Straff. 
From England.  Char. 
From England, ha', I was counselled to prepare myself, and to trim up my boat, I should have work enough, they said, ●●re be long from England, but trust me thy burden alone outweighes many transported Armies, were all the expected numbers of thy weight, poor Charon well might sweat.  Straff. 
I bear them all in one.  Char. 
How ● bear them all in one, and thou shalt pay for them all in one, by the just soul of Rhodom●nt this was a fine plot indeed, sure this was some notable fellow being alive, that hath a trick to cousin the devil being dead; What is thy name? (Strafford sighs)  Char. 
Sigh not so deep, take some of this Lethaean water into thy thin hand, and soup it up, it will make thee forget thy sorrows.  Straff. 
My name is Wentworth, strafford's late Earl.  Char. 
Wentworth, O, ho! thou art he who hath been so long expected by William Noy, he hath been any time these two months on the other side of the bank, expecting thy coming daily.  Straff. 
Knows Charon Noy so well.  Char. 
Know him, I, I warrant you, he is known here very well, he can no sooner get out of the Lawyer's company (as w● have a boundance of your Lawyers here) but you shall have him sometimes with boys at nine pins, sometimes he will by fuddling with a Tinker, sometime he hath a crotchet to venture a fall with a wrestler, though he be sure to get the fall himself, he is for all companies; he served me such a trick the other day.  Straff. 
What was it Charon?  Char. 
Tell thee, and thou wilt go near to show such me another trick thyself before I part with thee, thou look'st just of his complexion; marry he had begot a whimsy, what do you call it, a project, I a project, that out of the small Incomes that I receive, which is but a halfpenny a Ghost, I should pay a penny out of every passenger I do transport, as a gratification, or rentage to great Pluto, but had he come under the reacl● of this my Ebon Oar, I would have so spread his shade. Look yonder where he is.  Sraff. 
Charon take there thy waftage hire.  Char. 
What but one halfpenny, I thought he would have paid me for a thousand at least, this is just poor ferrimens' fortune, when they have once landed their passengers they may look for their fare where they can get it. Well, go thy ways for a heavy Ghost, neither Pompey the great, nor Alexander before him did make my boat to draw so deep, I do not think but that he hath devoured three kingdoms, and bears all the excrement and garbage of them along with him.  Exit. Charon. Straff. 
Either my discontinued eye or my remembrance much deceiveth me or your name is Noy.  Noy. 
My Lord, when last I saw you, you were but Sir Thomas Wentworth, since I have understood, the royal favours of his Majesty meeting with your merits hath made you Earl of Strafford. It was a dignity which your abilities and your vert● well may challenge.  Straff. 
An undeserved grace, Sir, which his Majesty was pleased to confer upon me; the eye of my Prince is like the eye of heaven, shines where he lists, and looked with as much influence and glory on me, his lowest shrub, as on the proudest Cedars.  Noy. 
It is most true; nothing can parallel his royal virtues but themselves, but (my Lord) pardon my curiosity, whose rudeness would inquire what late news doth our Climate vent?  Straff 
The last news is of myself.  Noy. 
It must needs be then a history that is full of honour.  Straff. 
It might have been so Master Noy,  
But as a desperate Merchant, when he may  
Sail with success to his desired port,  
Doth rather choose a day of wind and darkness,  
A day of tempest, when the angry sea,  
Tilts her bold billows 'gainst the baffled clouds,  
Deafs the fierce thunder with their louder roar,  
And puts the fire out from the lightning skies,  
Too late repenting of his rash advice,  
Finds himself fast locked within the arms of death,  
So I when honours circled me and peace  
Did woo my safety with a courteous smile,  
I rather chose to seek out ways to danger,  
T'untye three Realms, and with a fatal trip  
Ungrounde the foot of Justice, and the Laws,  
To waken war, and from her brazen den,  
To rouse my thunders from the Canon's mouth,  
And thus adventured whilst my Bark touched heaven,  
Seas upon waves, and waves surmounting seas,  
They danced me down into a vast abysm,  
Where I lay dockt in quick sands to embrace  
A certain ruin. Do you remember the petition of Right  
Master Noy?  Noy. 
Yes very well, my Lord.  Straff. 
Oh, had I there continued I might, outlive all danger and secure my right, nor in the honours of my thriving name, had I need doubt my fate, or lose my fame, Strafford had lived, though your preventing fate, that did my doom and death anticipate, called for a courteous dropsy.  Noy. 
My Lord, I thank God, I descended into the sleep of death, though not a sound, yet a whole carcase.  Straff. 
But I dismembered lost my spited head.  Noy. 
My Lord, me thinks so vast a spirit as yours could do good service without a head.  Straff. 
What odd conceit rides on your fancy now?  Noy 
My Lord, I will tell you, and since example is the most legible character give you an instance, how many hundred years hath Atlas borne heaven upon his shoulders, yet I could never read of any head of his that was ever seen. I know my Lord you have undertaken tasks would have made proud Atlas' sloop.  Straff. 
And some of yours are imputed unto me: had I any head in such and such Patents and Monopolies, master Noy, had I any plot at all in the Ship money, and in many more projects that I could name which took their original all from you.  Noy. 
Your Lordship may use what liberty of speech you please; but do you think that my Lord's grace of Canterbury is so pleasant above?  Straff. 
No, no, all the mirth is with you Netherlanders:  
He like the Roman Anthony, when he  
Tried his last Fortunes in sad Actiums' fight,  
And left the grappling Eagles and his honour,  
To fly in's beauteous Cleopatra's Boat,  
And quite ashamed that any one but she  
Should own that Fame to conquer Anthony:  
His heart quite broken, and his head bowed low,  
Whiles eightscore minutes were in numbering out,  
Their measured sands in the just glass of time  
Durst not look up towards heaven, nor tempt her eyes,  
Her eyes to him a thousand thousand heavens,  
More dear than thousand conquests:  
Just so his Grace, his sadded head being laid  
On both his hands, his elbows on his knees,  
Will silent lean two or three hours together;  
And in that posture (sad) he now must leave her,  
Stoops to his Idol, Greatness.  Noy. 
Are there no more, my Lord, of your party?  Straff. 
Yes, I believe, many: but this present Parliament hath more eyes than Argus, more clear than Lynceus, and as powerful as the Sun, and should their numbers grow up like so many Hydra's, they can at once both observe them, and dispel them.  Noy. 
My Lord, how thrives the Romish faction?  Straff. 
Troth I think but little, and I believe it is likely every day to grow less and less, the grave deportment of the Friars, the sanctimonious pretences of their Priests, prevail but little, and work in the people rather a suspicion then an imitation. It is thought besides, that even from their Gowns and Cowls did arise the first grudge and beginnings of the war.  Noy. 
I understood indeed that some Priests were severely looked after: that news I heard from Mercury.  Straff. 
Now you talk of Mercury, there is a precious generation of Mercury's above.  Noy. 
Of Mercury's? they are a people never before heard of, a Sect which no age ever understood. I beseech your honour to instruct me who and what they are.  Straff. 
Why, there are men Mercury's, and women Mercury's, and boy Mercury's; Mercury's of all sexes, sorts and sizes; and these are they that carry up and down their Pasquil's, and vent them unto shops.  Noy. 
How is that taken?  Straff. 
I know not; but their take I believe are good enough. But had they carried abroad such ware a year ago, these Mercury's had need in earnest to put wings unto their feet to make more haste away.  Noy. 
They may do well to read Lucian, he will teach their Pamphlets wit and innocence.  Straff. 
The Devil he will: excuse me, Mr. Noy, not too much innocence I beseech you; but let them write even what they will, the dead by't not, and if they by't not the dead I care not.  Noy. 
Will your honour vouchsafe to draw unto our quarters, it will make good sport for your Lordship to observe what devout cringes on their first coming the Atturney's and the Scriveners make to their little God Sir E. C. how with both hands lifted up, as he passeth by them, they will mumble their Pater nosters to him.  Straff. 
Pish, I neither need such company, nor desire it.  Noy. 
In what place then will your honour choose to make your residence?  Straff. 
In any place, so that I might have that which I come for, Rest.  
FINIS.