THE Devil in his Dumps: Or a sad COMPLAINT OF MALIGNANT SPIRITS, At the settling of PEACE and TRUTH In a late CONVENTICLE held near the TOWER for the better influence of john lilburn's Counsels▪  
ALSO A full and true Relation of the Sectaries desperate Conclusions concerning their last and present Design for the utter Ruin of Church and State.  
Aug. 3d London, Printed in the Year 1647.   

The Devil in his dumps, or a sad complaint of Malignant spirits etc.  
ALthough the Liberty of this age (wherein your Currantoes, Pasquil's and lying Pamphlets swarm so abundantly) hath made all News (how serious and substantial soever) liable to the jealous imputation of falsehood; yet I assure you, this present Relation, though presented unto you in a borrowed form, yet for the substance or matter is as near allied to truth, as light to the Sun.  
To hold you then in no further suspense, know, that about the beginning of this present Summer, the Prince of darkness, called a general Assembly of all the infernal spirits, who with winged haste attended his summons, and being met and the grand Diabolo mounted on a throne of sulphur, accompanied with his Cabinet Council the seven deadly sins, he began a very passionate complaint of the great decay and imminent ruin of his Kingdom, if some speedy course were not taken to prevent it, for which he had called them together requiring their devilish advice. He recounted unto them, how they were altogether cast out of heaven by the Almighty Power, for which common wrong although their confederate malice did oblige them all to seek revenge, yet himself had done it by a most subtle insinuation, withdrawing the first 
a Adam.  man that ever was from's obedience to his Maker. And this first achievement (quoth he, my friends and fellow fiends) was by your assistance so happily prosecuted, that in a short space I got the sovereignty of all the world, and the whole race of mankind became my vassals. 
b Hearhevism.  I had my Temples and Statues, my Oracles and Altars whereat I was sought with that devotion, and all my hests observed with that singular obedience, that I accounted myself the god of this world, for whom they thought not themselves and the children of their own bodies too dear a sacrifice. In the pride of this universal Monarchy I sat Lord Paramount without control above 3000. years, but than you know a 
c Christ.  child was born, in whom was all the fullness of the eternal godhead, by whose divine power and wisdom my Oracles were silenced, my Temples slighted, my Worship cast out, my Altars cast down, my Statues overthrown, and indeed my whole Kingdom so shattered, that all my Diabolical stratagems were little erough to keep together the pieces of a broken State. I must confess that the true Christian State was nothing in comparison of my vast Empire, but yet the greatness of our pride and malice that could not endure a rival in this inferior world, or that a creature so inferior to us should enjoy those blessed seats, from whence we ourselves were with so much indignation detruded, after it had in vain attempted the person of this heavenly King 
d Persecution.  endeavoured with as ill success the extirpation of his subjects and Kingdom. Many were the ways and projects I used for the effecting hereof, but all in vain, till at last my devilish invention found out a device, being assisted in it, I acknowledge, with all your hellish counsels, that I thought all the power and policy under heaven could never frustrate: I broke my brains and cracked my mischievous pate so about it, that I doubt I shall never do the like again. And indeed for a long time it answered my expectation to the full, for I built a gorgeous palace upon one of the seven hills 
e Rome.  in Italy, wherein I placed my own dear sister 
f The Pope.  Jezabel (a notable cunning whore) who acted her part so well, with her 
g Popery.  paintings, dress, counterfeit beauties and shows of holiness, that in short time she was courted by all the Princes and Gallants of Christendom, whom she intoxicated so with a philter that I gave her in a cup of gold compounded of all the damnable impostures, lies, heresies and blasphemies, that my bottomless wit could possibly devise or afford, that by her means, in the very midst of that temple that was built to the name and honour of God, my own image was set up and visited from all parts of the earth. But these happy days had their end at last; all my impostures were discovered by one of my own 
h Luther.  votaries, and such a 
i The Gospel.  light of everlasting truth set up, that I shall never be able to extinguish again; and yet my devilish pate did not quite fail me at this pinch, but at that very instant hatched another brood of 
k Anabaptists and other Sectaries.  Crocodiles, who by their feigned tears, counterfeit humilty and shows of holiness, enticed thousands to run after them, and by new lights or ignes fatui of their own giddy heads, lead them about such vagaries, that they brought 'em at last to a grosser darkness then that they escaped and to the midst of that Babel that they thought they were clean got out of: What sweet villainies they acted by virtue of their dreams & revelations, as seditions, rebelions, murders, rapes, robberies, sacrilege, crying down Ministers, Churches, Sabbaths, Sacraments Scriptures, even Christ himself, till they had left in most places scarce any face of Religion, I cannot without much contentment remember. In most places they found a strong opposition, but especially in England, by means of 26. 
l Bishops.  Elders that then governed there, but that was not much to my loss, for indeed as the game than went, it was all one to me who won. But now the case is altered there, my sun is choir set, and now I am like to end my days in everlasting sorrow; for in that poor despised Country there is a Parliament called that will give Laws, I doubt, to all the world, they are to strongly assisted with counsel and strength; and Assembly of Divines and a potent City, that— he had surely gone on but his troubled thoughts knew not which ways to render themselves, and so his speech failing, he began to swell 
l With cuvy  as though he would have burst. The damned crew then and there present, seeing their sovereign so disconsolate, began to cheer him up with comfortable speeches, and the seven deadly sins supported him, or else he had sunk down in a fwoon.  
Dear sovereign (quoth they) why are you troubled so at a trifling matter? What if that peddling Kingdom were quite lost, have you not still a world of vast Signiories besides? You have more reason to rejoice at that you have left, then grieve at a little that is for't; and yet it is not lost neither.  
For if you please to take a view of that Kingdom, or if that be too much labour, of their chief 
m London.  City, (and by that you may judge of the rest) you shall find (we speak within compass) three parts of four are yours still. At that word the envious man began to smile and look up a little. If you will but consider (quoth they) their beastly drunkenness, their horrible swearing, whoring, lying, cozening, cheating, envy, malice, slandering, open and secret murder, covetousness, oppression; how devoutly they worship God upon their elbows and outface him in his own house, with their pride, painting, perfuming, curling. How they fast to save a dinner, and humble themselves upon their cushions, in tissue, silk, satin, and strange apparel, beauty spots, naked breasts, and breeches about their heels, as if they were offering some sacrifice to Venus; besides their unspeakable epicurism, gluttony, riot, and all excess. If you did but know all your secret friends and see all your professed servants that wear your Livery in their locks and badge in their faces: Do but mark how our scholars outdo us that taught them, and reckon what millions we poor seven have multiplied unto, and then you will say we have done our parts, and not lost but gained you a Kingdom. And of those that scape our claws, we believe that Heresy and Hypocrisy can give you a reasonable account. The grand Diabolo gave them all thanks for their faithful services, but heard their discourse with small contentment, for still (he told them) they missed the mark he shot at. For quoth he, if this 
* Par … ment Assem●●●  Triumvirate hold together, what will become of all us? No, No, I know too well, the commanding power of that divine word, they are now setting up, what an alteration it makes in men's minds; If that design go forward, you shall quickly find a general revolt of men's affections from you, and then what will become of all you, when every man shall become a Constable to apprehend, a Judge to condemn you, and his own conscience, a tribunal to arraign you at? No, No, if this go forward, we may bid farewell to these upper regions, and confine ourselves to the Land of darkness eternally. For besides the loss of that pretty place, which perhaps I might brook with some degree of forced patience, it will be such a precedent for all the world to follow, that I am at my wits end to think of it? No, No, if ever we hope for happy days again, we must defeat the purposes of this Triumvirate: and that by Styx I know not how to do, they go on with such unanimity and undaunted resolution. Divide them, and so I shall master them, and now I think on't I have a fit instrument for that purpose; and that is my cousin Ignatius, Provincial of the 
n Jes …  order of the Spanish 
o Loyo …  rogue? I think you all know him; when they heard him but named, there was a great shout, as if their dying hopes were in him revived again, that he should be sent for: Indeed quoth Diabolo, he is the only staff of my old age, and stay of my tottering state; and in brief, such dispatches were made, that the Jesuit was with them that night. To pass by the entertainment, being sat at his right hand, the father of lies communicated to him their former consultations, in a word desiring his advice. The Friar reployed, a threefold cord is not easily broken, unless it be first untwisted, for the doing whereof he offered his best service. The old Serpent accepted it very thankfully, confiding much in the Friar's malice and mischevous wit, and the rather, because he was one of his own brood. But the red Dragon out of tender affection to his vassals, by reason of a cruel Law in England, was much troubled at one thing, how he should scape the gallows if he came there. The Jesuit smiling at the Devil's simplicity, and foolish pity; Good Sir (quoth he) take you no care of that; For if there were a pure necessity of my personal service, I can carry two faces under one hood, and yet I have more hoods than one too; I have so many tricks to delude all laws that indeed I fear none: I can swear, lie, dissemble, aequivocate, swagger, and look demure, I can play fast, and lose, Ruffian or Round-head, Puritan or Protestant, Separatist, Atheist, Independent, or any thing, and change my shape a thousand times a day. I can use the matter so, that they which hate me most, use me best, banish me the Country by a Public Law, and open their very bosoms to me through a private mistake. By this means I have a key to every lock, that neither counsels of Princes, nor closerts of great men, nor press, nor pulpit, nor Church, nor conventicle, can shut me out of doors. Having so many advantages and such opportunities, what end so difficult that I cannot compass? Or what mischief so horrid and desperate that I dare not attempt, having so many disguises to escape and fly away in? The old Serpent stood amazed at the transcendent villainy of this whoreson, and to see himself outdone so by such a youngster, was half ashamed; some think jealous and afraid too, least in time he might depose him, and usurp his Kingdom of darkness.  
But Sir, to be short, (quoth the friar) you are more afraid than hurt; and I much admire your intelligence fails you so much. For Pride and Covetousness, lying and slandering have made such divisions already, that I hope there is no more for us to do, but fall upon the spoil: And one thing puts me almost clear out of doubt, that all will be ours, we have such an Army of friends there, that are very active, and indeed stout Champions for you: you have Anabaptists, Brownists, Separatists, Familists, Antinomians, Arminians, Socinians, Arrians, Antiscripturists, Antisabbatarians, soul-sleepers, self-seekers, Adamites, Familists, Independents, and Millions more; but that I am loath to puzzle your memory with such a Catalogue of hard names. That little Country is grown Africa yields yearly as many Monsters in Religion, as all that quarter of the world doth in nature.  
The old Devil with a filthy shrug and an ugly look, shown some discontent for all this, for (quoth he) they are most of them suchgrand dissemblers, that I dare not trust them myself; and their daily rail on me what ever your opinion is, makes my jealous of them.  
What the devil ails you, quoth the Friar? cannot you tell when you are well? if they speak against you and do for you; if they put down one sin, and set up three; pull down one Pope, and set up many thousands; cannot bear with an idle word, and yet belch out a thousand horrid Blasphemies: I think you are never the worse, if you can be content, you have more friends than ever you did hope for; and those that will do more for you, than you can in modesty request, or ever had the confidence to ask of any reasonable men. For they reject the Scriptures, refuse the Sacraments, deface, profane, and pull down temples, deny the Church, supplant the Ministry, damn tithes, though Gods own portion, speak evil of Dignities, and not only despise, but ougerthrow all government, and so lay all level, and common for all comers. Indeed they deny Christ, blaspheme the holy Trinity, whereat we all tremble, and even curse God to his face: and now what could you devise to ask more, if you were to be your own chooser? And now because perhaps another doubt or fear may trouble you, that sure such horrid things should never find admittance, in any Commonwealth of Christians or civil men; To resolve you further, I can tell you what pretty engines they have to screw them in. first, (though tithes be Gods own portion which all the world knows, he gave to his Ministers for their labours in the Church, and no man can tell when they were taken away again) yet they have damned tithes, and all enforced maintenance (as they call it) as Antichristian, when as indeed it is the only way to set up Antichrist or any thing else, what yourself can devise to possess the many and giddyheaded people withal to require. And so whereas heretofore it was, like Priests, like people; now it will be a great deal worse, like people, like Priest: all makes for you still. And this engine the silly people themselves tug at for a small advantage, though it may prove their eternal ruin; for when the shepherds that watch over the flock are scattered for want of a livelihood, we may worry the flock at our pleafure. A second engine, whereby they work in all these abominations, is a Toleration of Religion, and Liberty of Conscience; for if that be once granted for the ease of all their tender Consciences; then why not for Papists, Jews, Turks, and Pagans: for they may have as tender Consciences to plead for, as any of the other? And if these things be once effected, what profaneness, heresy or villainy under heaven will not easily be acted? I might add, how they persuade the people, 'tis contrary to the freedom of a Gospel-people, to be fettered with any Laws or Government. And that you may see how well the Laws of man are like to scape, they have begun with the Law of God, and abrogated that already. To be brief, Sir; heretofore all the burden of Christendom lay upon my neck, but now these good souls, have eased me of a great deal of labour, and you of a great deal of care: The distempers of that Kingdom you shall see ascend to the head or chief place, and cause a frenzy of confusion; The Aflembly make their will, and the Parliament by speechless for a time; and if it recovers not beyond expectation, Iron-sides shall do you such a piece of service, shall make you a glorious Prince again. The Rogue was heard with the general applause, and good liking of all the Assembly, and so the old Devil between hope and fear, adjourned the Assembly until their next meeting.  
We are warned hereby, what a sweet puddle, our false Apostles suck their principles from: and what black ends their fair pretences so furiously drive at, that are so zealous for toleration, and so maliciously mad against all Church maintenance and Government. They have begun with the Church, and the vermin lay ferreting at the Common wealth too, and will never leave till they gnaw out the very bowels of it. And therefore honest Country men, take heed of those that to please you, and pleasure themselves, plead so hotly against Tithes. Many there be that plead for the ease of the beast till they get into the saddle themselves, and then who ride harder than they? Take heed of those that plead so hard for toleration; those almost Christians, half-Turks, semi-Jewes; take heed how you hear them, or what you grant them, for they know not what to ask, or when to make an end: Would their desires were as harmless, as boundless; but if some speedy course be not taken to stop their farther progress, we shall have Mahomet the second start up at last, with new revelations, and in stead of holy Scriptures already condemned, thrust upon us another Koran, patched up of all the damned Heresies since the beginning. When their out-cries for liberty have silenced all your Laws, then gins your slavery, not only of Conscience, but of body and goods too; for they can pillage your goods and cut your throats, and justify it when they have done, with some new dream or revelation, as their fathers did in Germany; and the practice whereof themselves have justified in divers expressions, that their mad Pamphlets bear the records of. Rub your eyes, be wise, and see in time whom you trust.   
FINIS.