A DIALOGUE BETWEEN SACK AND SIX.   three scenes, showing 1. a man sitting on a bench 2. a man working a hat 3. three men: one on a donkey, one on foot and one on a horse 
Believe my Protestation  
judge gentlemen.  
Valiant Sack triumphant.  
Printed in the year 1641.   

A DIALOGUE BETWEEN. SACK and SIX.  SACK. 
Full fraught with Nectarian liquor, that wine of the Gods, such as jupiter and myself drunk for our morning's draught; I am now come, Schismatical Six, to blow thee up with the Powder-treason of Spanish Canary.  Six. 
Schismatical Six; 'tis easily imagined Sir, what countryman you are, your tongue betrays you expressing yourself in the langauge of the hell, which I rather believe because you come from the Devil of St. Dunston's.  Sack. 
Alas poor john, I am sorry to see thee thus distracted with penitential Beer, thy very Comportment argues thee to be water scared out of its wits.  Six. 
A mad couple well met, we shall make two distracted associates i'll warrant you.  Sack. 
And why, distracted associates? Am I your fellow sirrah, faith I'll make you know your distance, stand off, Six, and come not near me by forty pole, lest being discovered to be in your company I be branded with the Imputation of a madman for ever.  Six. 
Canary-bird, you whistle well I'th' Spanish tongue, I wooed you were well roasted in true English, as the old Proverb goes,  
Who sings a merrier a note,  
Then he that is not worth a groat?  Sack. 
You take yourself by the spigot, small Beer, what need you have been broached so soon, a cup of Canary would have done better for our morning's draught, I don't love to hear the devil correct vice, you tax me of speaking Spanish so well, and you yourself speak nothing but Schlavonian, I take you to be some Translator, by your metamorphosed countenance, are you nothing allied to the inspired Cobbler who of late preached the six shilling sermon.  Six. 
Truly, Sir, I have no reason to deny my profession, and less to be ashamed of that holy man, who verily according to the flesh was nothing allied to me, but we were Cousin Germane according to the spirit, being both fellow-labourers together, and preaching in private Conventicles accordingly.  Sack. 
'tis well that at last you can tickle your sermons there, is there such virtue in small beer? I'faith I had little thought it! but seriously out of my wine let me ask thee one question.  Six. 
I'll resolve you as the spirit shall enable me.  Sack. 
Do you conceive that you are bound in conscience to preach the word?  Six. 
Yes verily, I am so, having the charge of so many souls.  Sack. 
Away you hypocritical knave, take heed of marring new souls, and look to the mending of your old shoes?  Six. 
You know not who you revile, you reproach him that sent me, I would my standing up were lasting, as my profession is lawful, were not Andrew and Peter Fishermen, Matthew a Publican, yet made Apostles and Teachers.  Sack. 
'tis true they were called to it, but now there is no necessity that the word of God should be thumed with the defiled fingers of a contemptible Cobbler.  Six. 
But you know the scripture saith; It hath pleased God by the foolishness of preaching to save many that believe.  Sack. 
'tis right, now I know the reason why there are so many foolish preachers selected out of the Tribe of the Cobblers, Weavers, Porters, Feltmakers, Chimmswepers, & the like.  Six. 
Well, I perceive I have met with a scholar, I am afraid I have taken the wrong sow by the ear, entering into the lists of disputation with swinish Aristippus, thovart puffed up with Canary of self conceitedness, and such kind of jeering hath distracted thee.  Sack. 
And thou art distracted without any learning at all.  Six. 
Well these are but words of course; to the purpose now, let's see whether you or I have the more followers, that one of us may carry the credit of it in conclusion.  Sack. 
'twas that I looked for, and because I take myself to be the better man of the two, I'll make the first onset: My best Proficients I'll place in the forefront of the rest, what say you to the blithe Bishops, are not they inspired with my canary? Can ever Canterbury have climbed to that place of Eminency as to overlook the whole Church of England, I and Kingdom too, and never regard himself, had it not been by my dexterity? From whence received he that power to stagger the state; yea religion, and himself at last, (being now fallen outright) but by jurisdiction derived from the Canary Lands? And how is't possible (I prithee) that Wren should soar so high (that Arminian bird) and silenced three score in Norfolk, and Suffolk, and now be silenced himself, but by the wings of my encouragement?  Six. 
Nor let the glory of this victory attend upon you only, but take a partner with you. Was it not I that laid the foundation of this greatness in Canterbury at first? that gave him his breeding in Saint john's in Oxford? where being a poor Scholar, he was glad to sip single Six, excepting upon Festival days, and now of late perceiving you had inflamed him with wine, the incendiary of ambitious thoughts, have not I cooled his courage with the water of affliction? And for Wren, so soon as I perceived the flame of his fiery zeal in persecuting the Church, have not I now allayed it with the coolness of my moderation, and wetting those wings that mounted so high, have not I with discretion confined him to his nest?  Sack. 
But what think you of the reverend judges? had not I such an operative power over one of them sitting upon the bench, that made him fall from his Tribunal, and stagger from Westminster hall to the Sheriffs house in London?  Six. 
I also have some share in his conversion; when a Student at the Inns of Court, was he not well satisfied with the earthen pots of Six, which I out of my liberality afforded him, excepting the days of the Readers Festivals?  Sack. 
I think now you must yield; are you able to contest any longer? I have also the assistance of the religious Aldermen, here's my chief favourite (to speak nothing of him that late broke) even Abel himself, whom I appointed Lord Precedent of the Canary Island, and chief Monopoliser of the Wines here in London, which wrought so powerfully in him to his repentance, that he is contented to remain under the Rod, which notwithstanding a sharp punishment, yet he's the less sensible of it in regard of the sweetness of my Canary.  Six. 
Troth sir, I must be bold with you to challenge a share in him too. Was not he one of my Linsey woolsey Citizens? did not I make him serve an apprenticeship to Master Six? and that time being expired, was he not glad (saving the Feasts of the Companies, Shrievalty, and Mayoralty) to wear the livery of Small Beer, till his coming to your wine Office?  Sack. 
I am almost out of breath, let's hear you make an Apology for your disciples, as I have done for mine.  Six. 
I am prepared for the business; by your favour, my Lord, those of mine own Tribe shall be present before you.  Sack. 
Draw the thread of your discourse methodically.  Six. 
How did I inspire that Cobbler, who only by cleansing his brain with my liquor, cleared his whistle so well be preached a Sermon of an hour and a half, and that against knowledge?  Sack. 
The crown of this Trophy belongs to me; was not that learned Sermon preached in a Tavern hard by Covent garden, where the secret virtue of the wines influence of a sudden arising into his brain, made all the bristles of knowledge stand upright in him, that he questioned our Saviour himself as not capable of humane learning.  Six. 
But I tell you of another miraculous passage effected by me alone. I know a Tailor (but he lives out of the King's dominions) who (not for drinking only, but even for dealing in small Beer) was grown so zealous of a sudden, that he could not in his conscience suffer his child, by his own Minister, to be signed with the sign of the Cross.  Sack. 
'Twas I that did the feat, though the glory be attributed to another: I know the zealots of London make it an effect of penitential Beer, but if you'll believe my protestation, before Bacchus I was the man, watching my opportunity at a marriage, where he, amongst others was invited; having encouraged him to drink up a good share of the Wine: First, I measured his shallow brain with the yard-wand of my apprehension; next, (that I might leave him as little judgement as I found) with the shears of discretion I cut off the shreds of Understanding that remained in him, and then (knowing that that afternoon his child was to be baptised, I pricked his conscience with the needle of sincerity, then verily and truly he would by no means have his child signed with the sign of the Cross.  Six. 
To relate something more of my conquests, was it not the chaste operation of my liquor that caused the Adamites now of late to assemble naked and (as if it were in the time of innocency itself) male and female to boast and glory of their shame? Did not I by my infusion so mortify their carnal lusts, that (until the Sermon was done, and the Candles purposely put out) there was no reserrection of the flesh?  Sack. 
Mistake not yourself, Six, set the saddle upon the right horse, (removing it from the Ass) was it not the glowing heat of my inestimable Canary that did so fortify their bodies against cold, that they go naked to this very day? And did not the admirable operation of my cordial grape cause them to preach devoutly in those pulpits they brought along with them? and so (as 'tis very comely) did increase and multiply.  Six. 
Add one thing more to the eternal renown of Six, the enabling of six women to preach devoutly up and down the City, by virtue of this heavenly potion, in regard their husbands cannot sufficiently preach to them at home.  Sack. 
If now adays there be any faculty of preaching, 'tis because they are inspired by me. Six, thou art distracted with a frenzy, yet thy disease is not so desperate, but there's a cure, wherefore I'd advise you fort with to take 6. pottells of the lustiest Canary, drink it all with discretion morning and evening, and all the rest of the day besides with constancy, and in a short time you shall find these admirable effects: your shallow brains floating on the top of this Canary Island shall be cleansed from the sliminess of ignorance, washed from the froth of self-conceit, and absolutely cured of the Calinture of distraction.  Six. 
'tis ad admirable cure Sir! but methinks Six should do the same in effect.  Sack. 
By the wine I drink, I am almost distracted in the very mentioning of that white liverd Rascal, away with it, 'tis Heretical, sit for none but Calvinians, Anabaptists, and that fellow in his Sermon at St. Margret's would aim at nothing but else the pulling downn of Charing and Cheapside Crosses, his doctrine was suitable to a cup of six; If any one will follow the advice of Aristippus, let him drink Sack.  Six. 
I care not if I pledge you a cup so it be with moderation.  Sack. 
I hope you will drink according to the times; the times require no such moderation I warrant you.  Six. 
But you told me I should drink it Physically, Physic you know must be taken by degrees.  Sack. 
So: wel' drink by degrees, let's drink each of us a pottle now which is the positive, and you shall the sooner come to the suparlative, or if you will have me temporise a little, the Puritan being a Protestant scared out of his wits, is the Positive; The Brownest bring a deep died Puritan, is the Comparative; The Anabaptist, which is a deep died Brownist is the Suparlative Schismatic of all.  Six. 
Sir while you were speaking I drunk up my share, and I find already a trombling and shaking of my joints a swiftness and volubility in my tongue, an Earthquake in my Pericranium and a noise so loud as though the Cyclopes were forging thunder in my brain.  Sack. 
You see then the effect of it, it makes a tremling in the members of the Commonwealth, the very foundations of the Kingdom are shaken a swifnesse in the tongues of silenced Ministers to preach schismatical doctrine, the distemperature of the head itself, and the murmur of the multitude, like the raging of the Sea crying against conformity, and the Episcopacy itself, down with it, etc.  Six. 
For Godsake, Sir, be silent, instead of curing my brains break not my brainpan, let me take a nap and refresh myself that I may take some more of your physic another time.  Sack. 
With a condition you will put in security that your brains shall be forth coming to morrow morning.  Six. 
They are coming forth to night without any security at all; So shaking hands they departed.  
FINIS