A DIALOGUE, OR, Rather a Parley between Prince rupert's Dog whose name is PUDDLE, and Tobies Dog whose name is PEPPER etc. Whereunto is added the Challenge which Prince Griffins Dog called Towzer, hath sent to Prince rupert's Dog Puddle, in the behalf of honest Pepper Tobies Dog. Moreover the said Prince Griffin is newly gone to Oxford to lay the wager, and to make up the MATCH. depiction of Roundheads and Cavaliers, setting their dogs on each other Roudhead cuirr Roundhead dog To him pudel. Cavalier Dog Cavalier dog By't him▪ pepper Printed at London for I. Smith, 1643. A Dialogue or rather a Parley between Prince rupert's Dog whose name is Puddle, and Tobies Dog whose name is Pepper, etc. Prince RUPERTS Dog. WHat yelping whindling Puppy Dog art thou? Tobies Dog. What bawling Shag-haird Cavaliers Dog art thou? Pr. Rob: Dog. Thou are a dogged sir or Cur, grumble no more, but tell me thy name. Tob: Dog. I was called Tobies house-dog, the Dog which Walker the Iron-monger so often commends for a mannerly and well bred Dog in his several sub-lectures; my name is Pepper. Pr. Rob: Dog. Though your zeal be never so hot, you shall not by't me Pepper. Tob. Dog. He bark before I by't, and talk before I fight, I hear you are Prince rupert's white Boy. P. Rub: Dog. I am none of his white Boy, my name is Puddle. Tob. Dog. A dirty name indeed, you are not pure enough for my company, besides I hear on both sides of my ●ares that you are a Lap-lander or Fin-land Dog, or truly no better than a witch in the shape of a white Dog. Pr. Rob: Dog. And thou art a Round-headed puppy, a foolish snarling Cur, that doth bawl and rail wheresoever thou comest: dost thou presume to confront me with thy ignorant spirit and prick-eares? Tob. Dog. Thou art a prosane Animal; Tobies Dog is of a better, and more reformed condition. Pr. Rob: Dog. A halter would reform thee exceeding well, for thou art a cur that wilt bark against all people, nay thou art a rebellious dog, and wilt bark against the King, thou dost make a stir and a stink wheresoever thou comest, thou art Walkers Dog rather then Tobies Dog, thou and thy Masters deserve nothing but a halter. Tob. Dog. Puddle; Come not near me; for I can grin and by't and that boldly, though thou look like a Lion with long shag hair, yet I fear thee not bragging Courtier, thou popish profane Dog, thou art more than half a devil, a kind of a spirit that doth help Colleges to their lost. spoons and two-eard pots, when they are lost or stolen. Pr. Rob. Dog. Thou art a kind of spirit too, dost thou not bewitch the Sectaries to bring in Salts, Whistle, and Bodkines into Religious Lotteries, from whence I fear they shall draw nothing but blanks for their zealous affection towards the cause. Tob. Dog. Thou dost belie the zealous brethren who being provoked and stirred up by the Spirit, thou wouldst needs make me the persuader to this religious liberty: alas I know nothing of City affairs, I trouble not my head with such matters, nor do I speak Heathen languages as you can do. Pr. Rob. Dog. Sirrah, I am none of your litter nor kind; I scorn to come in composition with such a baso dog as thou art; Tob. Dog. You are of Brackley breed, better to hang then to keep. Pr. Rob. Dog. No Sirrah, I am of a high breed; Tob. Dog. Thou art a Reprobate, and a lying Cur; you were either whelped in Lap-land, or else in Fin-land; where there is none but devils and Sorcerers live. Pr. Rob. Dog. But thou hast been a friend to Tub Lecturers, there is a number of Fellows that will expound by private spirit, and think the best colour for their knavery is Green, and yet they have no more languages or learning than thou hast, but they are dogged duntes that will bark and bawl in a Pulpit, didst not thou infect Hunt the Prophet and made him rave and talk, I will not say preach, until the Roast-beefe be burnt upon the Cook's spits and be almost one a clock. Tob. Dog. I deny thy words, for while he is preaching I am in the chimney corner sleeping, I hear not a word nor care for hearing any: but it is well known that when the King's Counsel are persuading His Majesty to an Accommodation with his Parliament, thou being an enemy to peace and all the Parliaments good purposes, com'st in, and presently they speak of blood and war, and the destruction of London, as if they were bewitched by thy presence. Pr. Rob. Dog. Nay if you talk of bewitching, who made the Apprentices and that great dogged tumult that hurried to West minster grinning and snarling at all they met, and barking aloud, no Bishops, no Bishops? which put the King at White-Hall into such a fright, that he presently left the City full of nothing but zealous Tobies and factions Sectaries, and so went to York to be more safe and secure from the rude company of pricke-eares: did not thy dogged spirit transmigrate into their plump fat bodies, and made them run like a kennel of hounds upon a hot sent crying they knew not what. Tob. Dog. I was ignorant of their purposes, and stayed behind, for had I been willing to have been seen in the action, I would have run before them as dogs use to do, but I remember I kept house all that day so melancholy, and was very sorry to see my masters so mad: But since you cast dirt at me, I will fling you a bone to know, it is known that at Edghill you walk invisible, and directed the bullets who they should hit, and who they should miss, and made your Mr. Prince Rupert shott-free, and it is known that you would rather hear Mass at Oxford, then come to any private prayers or conscionable Sermons: And at the delivery of the City Petition, you showed yourself a very malignant Dog, and trod on the King's Majesties toe, and your Mr. Prince Rupert so earnestly, as if you would have said that you like not that the King should return to London without his Army, and thus thou hast proved thyself a Cavaliers Dog. Pr. Rob. Dog. Sirrah lickdish, incense me no more, for though my shaggy hair be white, it is not silvered ever with age, it is my natural colour, and I am strong enough to tear thee in pieces, but I'll by't thee deep with true words, If I should as thee how thou livest, should I not find that thou art the Sectaries familiar Dog, and what are thy Master, but necessitous and full of debts, thou pickest up crumbs under them, and they gain all under the service of the cause and Commonwealth. Tob. Dog. Sirrah Dog: I serve good honest men, such as be Colonels, Captains, and chief Commanders. P.R. Dog I think you are any body's Dog you lick up crumbs under any round table, you have privilege to come to the house of any of the princes of the Militin, and there to know bonee and get scraps, Some of your Masters were not worth to my knowledge three years since, no above 5. l. if all their debts were paid, that now have 3. l. a day, others 40. s. a day, others 20. s. and some 15. s. a day; how many of them before this business broke in a morning, and compounded within a month for a noble in the pound: and dost thou poor silly Dog think that these noble Princes will once hearken or conclude to a peace; if they can have such pay and such gains for nothing: many of them not worth a dog; and now who but they and their wives, that appear in their several and changeable suits of apparel, and shine like jove and Juno. Tob. Dog. Sirrah, let my brave Masters alone; tell me not what they were, but what they are: They are now brave Gentlemen: leave your railing, or else I will send but a word of my mouth and I will have a Regiment of Red-coats, and a Troop of horse, that shall qualify your dogged humour, and make you speak better words of them. Pr. Rob. Dog. I care not for your leather troops of horse, nor for your red-cotten fouldiers; I can match your best Troops when you dare and where you dare; I would have thee know that I serve and attend upon a noble King, four Princes, three Dukes, two Marquesses, fifty Earls, 200. Lords and Viscount's, 300. Barons, 700. Knights, and 1100 Esquires and Gentlemen, besides common Soul●iers: These are no broken Lords, nor cracked Citizens; they serve in person and without pay, nay they bear their own charges, all out of love and loyalty to their K. and Country: But few of your Masters durst ever show their faces till this reformed time; but held down their heads like bul-rushes; and walked up and down by night: how many hundred do you think, Mr. dog, that his Majesty hath now in a list or a catalogue of their names of such stout Finsbury field soldiers, and weak conditioned men in estates, above 300 of them I will assure you; whom his Majesty will one day remember. Toby Dog. Good Puddle, be not so envious and so malicious, thus to roil of them you do not know, be not still of that dogged mongrel disposition good Puddle. Pr. Rob: Dog. Thou hast a good memory, though thou hast but short hair, to remember my name: yet some call me Boy, but my name is Puddle: And I can do strange things, and change myself into many shapes: I come into your City divers times, and hear the common votes of the vulgar, than I go to the Ordinaries and take notice what news passes there for current, any one may almost discover me if they do but touch me, I do to grumble and am of the dogged disposition, and if any one observe or hear a Gentleman call for a dish of broth, and his Ordinary of Rumps and Kidneys, they may be assured it is I; The other night for giving of two pence to a red bearded fellow one Mr. P●a●es who was made Corporal for that night, who then stood near the Exchange, I had the word given me by him, and I passed freely: Another time I passed by the watch like a Fiddler, and was never examined; and so likewise for a small matter at your Court of Guards, for all your vigilant Sentinels. Toby Dog. O intolerable; if the City be not looked too better, we shall be all betrayed. Pr. Rup. Dog. Nay more than this can I do, and have done, at the jast general meeting at Guild-Hall, I hired Arthur Shuttle a Proctors Clerk to go into Long-lane and procure an Alderman's gown, and come to Guild-Hall, though it was so narrowly looked to, to get in, and there by his means to beget a faction, and so a tumult, and at length to have fallen to blows amongst yourselves, that our Army in the mean time might have come in and played their part to the purpose. It was I that caused that mercenary fellow Robert Blague to write letters of intelligence between both Armies, and for his reward he had 50. pound a month from each Army: I persuaded Blague to give intelligence to the Earl of Essex in what part of the army the King's best Regiment was placed, and in what place the Lord General would be at the fight, and where the King's Standard would be placed. Then on the other side I put it into the heart of the King's soldiers after the first firing to fall to pillaging and plundering the Earl of Essex his Coach and Wagons where all his treasure was to pay his soldiers, which the did, and in plundering the Coach, there was the miscreant Blague's letter found with his name at it of the former intelligence, which was taken and carried to the King, which the King saw and read, for which Blague had his just reward, even a rope; with chains to boot. I advised Mr. Maston who is the Earl of Carnarvans Chaplain to make that book which our army do so hug and laugh at, called the Complaint to the House of Commons: I put it into some of the malignant Citizen's heads, as your Masters call them, to surprise the Tower, and to get all the Ordnance into their possession: but that failing, I have showed them another stratagem how to be revenged on the City for their Robellion; you may see Pepper what power and skill I have in magic Spells; Nay though the Gentleman did preach not above a week before the House of Commons, but his Sermon being not liked, and he little or no thanks bestowed on him, I wished him to write that invective book: I have done divers of these exploits, and have many more plots yet undiscovered. Toby Dog. Learned Mr. Puddle do but reveal some of these plots to me and I will ever be your creature. Pr. Rup. Dog. Pepper, take but your oath that you will not discover it till such a time, and I will: Toby Dog. I will swear any thing you will have me to do. Pr. Rup. Dog. You shall take the new oath which our Cavaliers do give to all the prisoners which they took at Cicester, before they go away from Oxford which if you do, I will then reveal the plot. Toby Dog. I have taken i●, and sworn to the oath. Pr. Rup. Dog. Then this is the plot. The next high or spring tide, when the moon is at the full, will your City be drowned, and I will tell you how vand which way: The City malignants do intent to under-mine the Rider of Thames, and it is to be begun on Seuthwark side, and when it is undermined, to lay in 1000 barrels of Gunpowder, 500 bars of Iron, and 600. tun of Stones; and when the tide or water is at the highest, then to set fire on the Gunpowder and blow up the River and so drown the City and all the Roundheads; and for the Malignants they shall have all notice of it before; and shall be known by their white tybonds about their rists; only I have given john Taylor the Water-Poet notice of it, to save himself by his boat, or be in some other place at that time and season, because he is my Master's Uncles ancient servant, and a good Fellow. Toby Dog. I begin to halt in my opinion, and would be willingly converted, I get nothing here but at great men's houses, and now Lent is coming I shall lose my fat, amongst the Roundheads; for they eate up all, and leave me nothing unless I can fill my belly with the smell of meat, they are expounders and Teachers, but I desire to be better said then taught. P. Rup. Dog. Then follow my counsel, change your affections, & when you see a Round-head, bark at him as he walks along the streets. Toby Dog. So I may have by brains beat out. P. Rup. Dog. Then convey yourself down to Oxford, but first you must do as I instruct you, and recant your errors, and both say and do as I instruct you; and I will give you an invisible shape, so that none shall see you if you please. Toby Dog. I am your servant to run at your command. P. Rup. Dog. First you must deny all Roundheads. Toby Dog. I deny and defy all Roundheads. P. Rup. Dog. I defy all Tub-lecturers. Toby Dog. All Tub-lecturers I defy. Pr. Rup. Dog. I will bark against all Conventicles, and never love any Brownist or any of the zealous Brethren, but from the teeth outwards. Toby Dog. I will always be Inapping and snarling at them. P. rupert's Dog. Now confirm it with an Oath in blowing your nose backwards, and letting a fart, and say a fart for all Sectaries. Toby Dog. I will strain hard but I will do it, there is a fart for them all. Pr. Rup. Dog. But I gave you no command to stink. Toby Dog. That makes the Obligation the stronger: is there any thing more to make me a perfect Cavalier. Pr. Rup. Dog. Yes, you must be beholding to a disguise, for if you be a Cavalier you must wear long hair, I can help you to the wool of a Sheepshead which will serve you very well for a Perewigg, and then I will present thee to my Master for a new and round, sound Cavalier. Toby Do. Get me my disguise, my mind is changed already, let us be friends, For now old Tobies Dog doth think it better, To change himself to Cavalier Pepper. The Challenge which Prince Griffins Dog called Towzer, hath sent to Prince rupert's dog whose name is Puddle, daring him to meet him at the Parish Garden this present Lent to try a combat before the Worshipful the Bears, who are appointed to be their Judges in that Case. THou worm of Wickedness, fritter of Folly, spawn of doggedness, and piece of mongrel stuff; in regard of thy base grumbling words and bawling against thy betters. Besides that, is honest Pepper Tobies Dog your match, no, he is too mild for thee; thou should have given notice of your Treaty and discourse to me who am thy equal, thou shouldst have found enough of me, for I will have thee know, that I eat as good Rumps and Kidneys as ever thou, base cur dost: when I have you at the place appointed, I will so rump you, and so frump you, that I will leave you never a rump nor yet a kidney, no not with a heart as big as a hen or chickens: I do now with open mouth defy thee and all thy proceed, and do challenge thee to meet me at the place before mentioned, there will I fight, tug, and tear thee in a single combat, where I mean to read thee in pieces, and be revenged on thee base cur. And although I hear thou art impenetrable and likewise besmeared over with enchanted oil, so that no weapon, buller, nor sword can enter thee to make thee bleed; yet I have teeth which I have newly whetted shall so festen and tear your Germane or Fin-land hid limb-meale, and then flay thy skin and hang it on the hedge, & give thy pomperd flesh to those judges which we are to fight before (namely the Worshipful the Bears,) to satisfy their hungry maws this Lent; let me hear your dogged answer, or else I will proclaim thee coward in print, and set thy name upon every whipping post and pissing place, for all the dogs in the Town to lift up their legs to piss against: Expect no favour from me, nor will I from you: I will end the difference, I will have no Outlandish cur domineer in our Land. So saith your surly foe Towzer, and servant to Primes Crissin. FINIS.