Beware the Bear. THE STRANGE, BUT PLEASING HISTORY OF Balbulo and Rosina.  
Who having appointed a Midnight meeting ere the consummation of their intended Marriage, were extremely disturbed by the saucy intrusion of a Licquorish BEAR.  
Who not only frustrated their Solace, Singed his own Hyde, and put ROSINA into a Cold Sweat, but procured the destruction of a most enabling POSSET.  
Full of pleasant Mirth and Variety.  
LONDON. Printed for EDWARD CROUCH, 1650.   


THE ARGUMENT.  
Balbulo wounded by Love's dart,  
Woos, and wins her, that rules his heart;  
Appoints the day his Wench to Wed,  
But first desires a proof in Bed:  
She yields, yet he neglects the hour,  
Which makes Rosina look full sour.  
A Posset, she prepares, with cost,  
To cause the young Man do his most:  
And 'twixt the Sheets, with longing eyes,  
She awaking waits a prize.  
By chance a Bearward, with his Beasts,  
Near to Rosina's lodging rests;  
One of which Cattles, making room,  
Doth to Rosina's Chamber come;  
Torments the Damsel with strange fears,  
And pulls an old house o'er his ears.  
Balbulo by his promise bound,  
Visits his Mistress in a swound;  
And thinking that he near her draws,  
Feels a rough Hide, and sharpened Claws;  
Retires amazed, and hides his Head,  
His Vitals much endangered.   
THere lived (not many years since) in the North part of England a young Farmer named Balbulo, who became extremely Enamoured on a Damsel (his next neighbour) called Rosina, at last he obtained his desires to Marry her; but before the time appointed, they had agreed to be anticipatious in the business, and too too forward in yielding one another's benevolences before they were due: For the effecting whereof, time and place were appointed, Rosina was the first Champion that appeared in the field, Balbulo met with some good Fellows by the way that fore-slowed his march, and retarded his appearance to the Court of Venus.  
Yet for all that Balbulo would approve himself mindful of his promise; and though he were obstructed (by an unlooked-for accident) from prostrating his person, to the disposure of his pliant Para-nymph: yet to signify his reality, and that his Mistress aspect (with sorrow for his procrastination) might not be muffled (at his approach) in sullen mists of dolour, though he had ever hated (hitherto) to pick out his own brains with his Pen, he took pen, ink, and paper, and thus elegantly exercised his Genius.  
Prithee sweeting be content,  
And accept this Compliment  
In my stead, until I come  
In person for to clap thy Bum:  
Know a crew of Bonny Blades,  
None of the meaner, courser swades,  
But Tom the Shepherd, Will the Ditcher,  
And Ralph that loves to beat the Pitcher;  
Dick the Thrasher, Hal the Weaver,  
Ned the Neatherd, Nic the cleaver  
Of lusty Logs, have bemed me in  
At Mother Redcap's, with the Chin  
So hung with Hair: We sing and drink,  
Laugh, and quaff, and club our Chink,  
That the House seems to run round,  
Sure the place is Fairy ground.  
Be assured I shall endeavour,  
Soon as I can, myself to sever  
From my Companions, fair and free,  
To toy, and sport, and play with thee.  
Sweet morsel of Maids-flesh, thy most damnably devoted Servant, Balbulo.  
After he had finished this elaborate Epistle, he called for Starch, and after the best manner cementing both ends of the folded paper, he superscribed it thus:  
To the most voracious Virgin my very loving Landabrides  
these present.  
Having brought to period this Important business, he speedily dispatched an Emissary, with charge to diliver his Epistle to none save his dear Rosina, who poor soul (having given him over for a lost man, her Hostess being of the same faith) were once resolved to wait his leisure no longer, but Rosina (something more confident of his performance then the other) was willing to spin out a little more time, and busies herself in making a Sack-posset against his coming, the Posset being made, but no Balbulo, patience was quite worn out, when, as good luck would have it, in cometh mother Redcap's Son, with a letter in his hand from Balbulo, as welcome (God knows) to the red cheeked Rosina, as a shower of Rain to a parched Dunghill; Oh quoth Rosina, I little thought Balbulo would have served me thus, I am like to have great good of him when we are Married, that fails in the performance of his first promise; Ah Balbulo, Balbulo, didst thou know the ardour of my longing desires, thou wouldst rob Cupid of his wings and fly into my Arms, with a strict charge to conjure Balbulo, by all that was, is, and like to come: the messenger returns to Balbulo, whom he found in the very same posture he left him, Bousing, and Braying, with the rest, to whom approaching, he craved his ear in private, who fetching a deep sigh from the very bottom of his belly (a sigh God knows, so hot, and Sulphurous that it had endangered his Beard, had not his numerous tears opportunely dropped, and allayed the fervour thereof) taxing his dull delay, and resolving speedily to break up School, and hast to his beloved, he returned to his companions.  
And now also, let us return to forlorn and pensive Rosina, who having quite tired out her patience, and being no longer able to contain herself, took the Sack-posset and set it upon the Cubberds head, covering it with a Trencher, and a napkin, placing a candle by it, took leave of her Hostess, and prepares for bedward, putting the door only too, for fear her Sweetheart should find any difficulty in his approach, if (as he was like) he should happen to come late, or she disturbed to let him in, if it should be locked, or bolted; late brought all to bed, that were in the house.  
Now you must understand, that in the evening before this happened, that a Bearward had brought three lusty Bears, to town and had taken up quarters for them in the same Inn, lodging them in a little Stable that happened to be just underneath the Chamber where Balbulo and Rosina had intended to be very Superlative, in the degrees of happiness. But it happened that Rosina was no sooner got into her bed, but one of the great Bears, scenting the stream of the Posset, broke lose, and happened to pull down a whole pane of the wall, that opened at the foot of the Staire case, that led up to Rosina's lodgings, up Stairs climbs the Bear, Rosina hearing some body coming up, was in good hope it had been her Sweetheart, though she thought the party came up, somewhat heavily, and trod (though not more gently, yet) more softly than Rosina was wont to do, which she conjectured to be, because (it may be) he was in the dark, and had no body to light him up the Stairs, and it would be otherwise so soon as he should come into the light, [enter Bear] Rosina (perceiving so ugly a creature coming in, upon all four, winding with his nose, and twinkling with his eyes) she sinks down in her bed, and falls a praying, but durst not cry out for fear she should give the devouring creature notice of her being there: but tears, which had so little way to fall, and fall so softly, and trembling, that could make no noise upon a bed of down, she makes use of sufficiently, to express the woefulness of her condition, and the greatness of her fear which was presently augmented, and multiplied upon her like numbers, in Arithmetic, for the Bear (scenting the Posset) rises up an end, and with his fore-pawes, rests upon the Cubberd, and nuzzells the Trencher that covered the Posset off the Goblet, and thrusting his snout into the hot-kept liquor, he so burned his nose, that he made a most fearful noise, and endeavouring to leap down, his nails so stuck in the Cubberd-cloth, that down comes the Sack-posset about his ears, the Candle into his eyes, which the melted tallow (together with the hot liquor) so got into, and made them so smart that it caused him to Roar, as if all the Devils in hell had been in the room: all this while the Bear's claws were not dis-engaged from the Cubberd-cloath, nor the cloth from what it covered, so that at last (with the Bears striving) down comes the great canopied Cubberd, and all upon the Bear, so that the Bear began to be worse afraid, and more hurt, then terrified Rosina, who labouring to discharge himself of the weight that was upon him, (the Candle all this while lying upon the ground still blazing) the Bear (at last) intched, and intched, so near unto the flame, that it set all the hair upon the Bear's back on fire, whereat the Bear set out a wider throat, than all the baitings that ever he had could force him to; Rosina (hearing a great deal of noise besides what the Bear made, and received no hurt as yet) thought that some body had come in unto her rescue, and was ordering the Bear, and that the Bear Roared by reason of some correction, wherefore she took the boldness, to peep out of the bed, to see whether it were so or not, but when she perceived a thing all on fire, and another thing over it, stirring up and down the room, she began to be afraid of the Devil, worse than of the Bear, wherefore she flings the  over her head again, and falls to making vows, that if ever she were delivered from that just Judgement that was upon her for that unlawful assembly, she would never violate the old Laws and Customs of her devout Ancestors, by such deeds of Anticipation; whereupon the Bear (disengaged of his toil) left Roaring, the Candle, and the Hair went out, all was quiet, the Bear fell to licking up his Posset, all about the room, (to which the Bear had not been accustomed) that his brains were intoxicated, (who wanting a place, to repose his giddy brain) Skip-frogs up upon the bed, and lays him down half on, and half off the miserable Rosina: the Bearward hearing the noise, was rising out of his bed, to know the cause of their unruliness, but perceiving them to be quiet, went to bed again.  
By this time Balbulo had parted with his merry Mates, and comes (more drunk then sober) to the door, the outward door of the house) the Hostess asketh who's there? Balbulo cries, 'tis I: who are you said the Hostess? 'tis I Balbulo, don't you know my voice? you know my business well enough: 'tis you (said the Hostess) is this a time a night? well I come, she slips an old Petticoat over her shoulders and comes to the door and lets him in, telling him, that he was a fine man indeed to have a Sweetheart, if she were as she, she would make him stay the good hour, and if there were a year to the end on't.  
Well said Balbulo, get you to bed, trouble not yourself, where is she? is she in the Chamber I bespoke? I, I, said the Hostess, can you find the way in the dark? there is a light in the Chamber, and a Sack-posset, provided for you, you are a sweet youth, i'faith, i'faith she is too good for you, good-night, good-night old woman, (said Balbulo) too good for me, who is to good for me? up the Stairs comes Balbulo, and finds the door open, but seeing no light in the Chamber, he asks her, what are you? in darkness? he had not advanced three steps into the room, but what with the slipperiness of the boards, by reason of the Sack posset, and the licking of the Bear's tongue, down comes Balbulo all along, up he gets upon his legs, but had not made one step nearer the bed, but over the Cubberd comes poor Balbulo, hurts his hands, and breaks his elbows, lies still a while and asks, where am I? what have we here? what's here to do?  
Rosina heard a man's voice, but was afraid there had been another Bear, at last he gets up, and resolves to order his steps more watily, and laying hold upon one of the Beds posts, he thought himself safe enough, and that he had her sure, when behold opening his Arms to embrace his beloved, and his mouth to bestow this pleasing language upon; Ah my sweet heart, I hope thou wilt not be angry with me, for staying so long, in troth I could not help it, and therewith falling down upon the bed, to take his mistress in his Arms, he embraced the Bear, who having awaked with his kindness, Roared him forth such a curtain lecture, as I think never any such Delinquent was so miserably served before, Balbulo recoils, forsaking his station with such violence as Rocks and Stones do use to make, when they are removed out of their places; when Hell finds out a new mouth, by some eruption of the earth, so that (forgetting his stumbling block which lay in his way) he breaks his Shins against the Cubberd, and over and over he tumbles, being most miserably tormented, in which agony (knowing not what he did) mistaking his way in the dark, at the bottom of the Stairs instead of going out at the door, he runs into the broken place in the wall, that the Bear had made, and so stumbles upon the other two, [Ba-a] cries one of the Bears, [Ba-a] cries the other too, Balbulo imagining no less, but that flying from one, he had fallen into Hell, amongst all the Devils, Scrambles (he knew not how) from between them, and so got lose from both, and recovers his feet, but durst not make any other use of them then standing upon them, so unfortunate had his motion been unto him of late, that still he ran into further mischief, till at last this Bear's unruliness, made him venture farther off the danger, so that he got close to the Manger, than he knew where he was, up he gets into it, and for his greater security sake climbs up into the rack, the Bearward (hearing a second Alarm) riseth out of his bed, and came to see what was the matter, where he spied one of his Bears missing, and the wall broke down, where she had got out, presently he raises the House, saying, he was undone, one of his Bears was broken lose and got away, up they all rise, unchaine the Dogs, search for the Bear, enter the Stable, see where the Bear broke out, which while they were viewing, they could hear a voice from the Rack side, saying, do you hear, do you hear, I know where your Bear is, with a pox to you, they looked up, and spied Balbulo amongst the Rack staves; they asked him, where, where I pray now? where? (says Balbulo) I know where well enough, but look that your Bears be safe, and I'll come down and show you: they securing him from all danger, he descends from his Pallisadoes, and directs them up into his mistress Chamber, giving the Bearward, and the Dogs leave to go before him, who find the Bear fast asleep in Balbulo his place, so that with much convenience, they got the string into the ring, and pulled the Bear from off the bed, Balbulo turning down the bed to see what was become of his sweet heart, there ascended such a wreak of Baked, and Boiled, and Stewed, and Roast-meat, that his Stomach was quite turned, but espying his beloved you may Imagine what a doleful congratulation there was betwixt them, but the result of all was, the Bearward descended with his Beasts, Rosina ascended, and what with the help of her Hostess, and the assistance of water, became sweet again; Balbulo having drunk hard the day before, and having been so turmoiled the very night, laid him down to rest, and (as well as his broken Elbows, and sore Shins, would give him leave) slept some hours.  
Rosina and her Hostess, by this time, had sufficiently execrated the Malice of Fortune, together with the Bearward, his robustious Beast, Rosina condoling her own disappointment, her Hostess deploring Balbulo's infortunity but at length, being weary with bewailing, they resolved to bemoan an helpless Ill, but clear up their dejected Spirits, with good meat and comfortable licquours, a Dinner therefore they resolved to prepare against Balbulo's Resurrection, and that nothing might be wanting to expel Melancholy, and drive away sullen thoughts, they agreed with Godfrey a blind Harper, that he should strike his strings all that day, till having received his supper, together with his hire, he might grope his way home.  
By this time Balbulo awakes, comes down (what with his excessive tippling the day before, and what with his nocturnal anxieties) looking more like a Ghost then Balbulo, to the ineffable sorrow of Rosina, and the Hostess, who endeavoured to comfort him all they might. Be contented my dear Balbulo, (said Rosina) our delights are but adjourned, not annihilated by the late unhappy disaster; pox on the Bearward, and his liquorish Beast, by whose means we were hindered of that sweet solace we had otherwise enjoyed; but my beloved Balbulo (said she) the approaching night shall make amends for all. I remember what my old Mother was wont to say, 

Pleasures delayed  
When once attained,  
Are the sweeter made.    
Come sweet Balbulo fall to, cheer up thy afflicted spirits (Balbulo all this while sat like the Devil in his Dumps) fie for shame (said the Hostosse) shall a woman, who is the weaker Vessel, exceed you in courage? She (poor soul) was almost ravished by the savage Creature, life and chastity at once endangered, and all for your sake. Well, with much ado Balbulo was alured to eat, and by degrees to drink; and (after that) with slender arguments, to Mirth, the Harper all this while making melody, equal to the wheels of some empty Cart, hurried upon the stones; after a plenitude of Meat, Wine, and Mirth, Godfrey departed home, and Balbulo and Rosina (maugre their late infortunity) to their Chamber, hand in hand, their Hostess blessing them all the way.  
But alas, poor Balbulo, and loving Rosina were ever two Inamorates; so thwarted in the fruition of each others Love; they had scarce proved one another of a different sex, but behold loud rapping at the door, and raving for entrance, the Hostess having taken a lusty cup the day before for joy, (to use her own words) that since things were no better, they were no worse; slept as supinely as a drunken Dutchman, or a Watchman, at four of the clock in the morning, with much ado was awaked; and between fear and despair, at last opened the door for the Constable, his Painted Staff, and his drove of Watchmen to enter in.  
Now you must understand, that not many hours before, a notable Robbery was committed in the Town; and a Gentleman having lost to the value of 3000 l. wherefore the Constable being desired to use his Authority for the detecting, and apprehending of the Theives if he could catch them; thought no place more likely to abscond such kind of fellows than Inns, and Alehouses; and having alarmed many, he at length came hither, and presently searcheth room by room for the Theives.  
Balbulo and Rosina hearing a Tumult in the house, became almost out of their wits, and could willingly have thought the Bear was again entering on the Stage to Act the second part of his last night's Tragicomedy, save that they heard the voices of Men, and not the grumbling of Bears; they knew also that the door was locked, neither was there any Inviting Posset on the Cubberds head: Well, they lay trembling a long time, and blamed the blame-worthy Destinies for so constant a perseverance in the frustrating of their designs. Oh! quoth Rosina, I perceive now that bad accidents wait on bad actions By this they might hear the tumult draw near them, Oh, quoth Balbulo, we are undone! rise, rise, good love for Heaven's sake, we shall be both carried to Prison; Hark, hark, the Officers are even at hand to seize upon us. Unfortunate Rofina, of two evils, being desirous to choose the least, quickly hung on her Garments very Geometrically, and with her beloved, took her journey out at a Window opening into a Garden, escaping not without great danger of their lives, the descent was so high: being down, they both concluded to wait the leisure, when unlawfulness should be less attended, with so heavy Judgements: What became of them afterwards, Turpin, my Author, doth not relate; but certainly the Protean Goddess never exercised her power more Tyrannically o'er two Lovers, than o'er Balbulo and Rofina; for never was a story of more woe but that of Juliet and Romeo.  
FINIS.