AN EXCELLENT RECEIPT To make a complete Common-Wealth-Oleo, OR (if you please) A NEW SENATE Fitted to the English-Man's Palate.  

Recipe.  
Half a dozen Turks with turbans on their heads, and scimitars by their sides, all well purged of dross and impurities by Moonlight; one hundred Jews circumcised secundum artem, forty Arabians stuck with spices of all kinds; ten New-England men; fifty pirates; eight Excise-men, nineteen Geneva-men, three Jesuits, thirty Quakers, one and fifty Anabaptists, lantched in fair river water, threescore Independents; a quarter of a pound of John Lilburn's bones beaten into fine powder and seared, the better to unite with the rest; whereunto add an ounce of oil of Saint-John's-Wort, a drachma of the scrapings of the devil's cloven foot; five spoonfuls of the marrow of old Oliver's nose; half a Committee-man; two Gallons of Aquafortis, seventy Scot's haslets, together with a kilderkinful of Hugh Peter's sighs and tears, evaporated into water in an Alembiqu' made of an Organ-pipe; you may throw in (if you see cause) a barrel or two of Gunpowder, (the whitest is best) a firebrand lighted at both ends, and one grain of Quicksilver, and (to keep all from blowing up) twenty or thirty Redcoats (according to discretion) and lastly for the better relishing of the Oleo, a pisspot full of Alderman Atkins' perfume, you need not trouble yourself to go to the Apothecaries for it, the best is sold by Tom Turd about Pancridg Church fields: to all these add but one scruple of Eternity to make it last for ever. Put all these materials together into a great Mortar made of all the Bells in England, Scotland, and Ireland; beat them well together till they become incorporated into a strong body, then set them over a gentle fire, till they become just Lukewarm, and no more: take it off from the fire, let it cool, and keep it for use.   

The virtues.  
'Tis excellent good to purge the Nation to skin and bones: It agree's very well with the commonwealth's mens' appetite, but rises in the Cavaliers stomach; for which cause they, and the Presbyterians had best refrain it: The Spaniard would like it well if he might have a finger in the dish; the Frenchman would love it beyond his nicest kickshaws. 'Tis good against poverty. An excellent Restorative for broken fortunes. It forces men out of gaols to preferments. But you must know that 'tis also very dangerous for some constitutions; for it makes some people's heads fall off from their shoulders, others die upon a Gibbet, and sends many an one a pickpack to the devil: upon which consideration I have thought fit to set down a necessary preparatory or course of physic which every man ought to run who intends to be rightly qualified that he may feed sweetly on it, find it concoct rightly, and turn to his proper nourishment, the only use it was intended for.   

The Method to be used by our Patient.  
First you must abstain from reading Divinity books, and hearing sermons three years, when you have done so, you must go to Rome and take Orders there; when you return you must shift your clothes to the very skin, and put on any habit you please but a Papist's, than you must preach one twelvemonth which being duly observed, take but the quantity of an hazelnut of the following Pill for a fortnight, together without intermission, and you are right.   

Recipe. The Pill:  
Of Hypocrisy 5 scruples; self-denying one drachma ½ of Impudence 9 ounces, Religion. q. s. powder of a seared Conscience 7 : water of Orphan's tears 1 roundlet full; Church-lands as much as you can get (for that's a scarce Commodity, and almost all bought up) 3 : ¼ of the rust of a weathercock, ℥ of Atheisme to role up the Pill to make it go down with the less obstruction. Make all but the last drug into a mass; take of it (as I said before) the proportion of an hazel nut every morning next your heart, for the space of time above mentioned, and you may partake freely of the Oleo, and you'll find yourself after a little use fit to make an ingredient in such another when that's spent.  
Probatum erit.