ENDLESS QVERIES: OR AN END to QUERIES, Laid down in 36 Merry Mad QUERIES for the People's Information.   printer's or publisher's device 
LONDON Printed in the Year 1659. June 13   

ENDLESS QUERIES: OR An End to QVERIES, Laid down in 36 merry mad Queries for the People's Information.  
WHether Fools may not ask more Q●estions in an hour; then Wise men shall be able to answer in a year?  
2. Whether it be not needful to suffer such foolish papers to fly abroad, whereby thousands of people that have little else to do, get a livelihoood for themselves and Families.  
3. Whether it is not the best way to keep them from mutinies to let them live by their wits, who otherwise must Camelion like, live by the Air.  
4. Whether the great Law of Necessity be not now as great as ever it was.  
5. Whether, if the safety of the people be the supreme Law, any private subject my not do the best he can to promote it, in order to self preservation.  
6. Whether the huge Whale that came hither from Greenland, did not come with a good intent to bring all the Greenland trade hither; and whether Hance would have been pleased to have paid us tribute to have fished for Whales upon our coasts, and whether they are not responsible to the Commonwealth for it, that so barbarously murdered him.  
7. Whether it were not better to pull Paul's down for fear it may fall upon the Soldier's heads that keep guards there for the public safety, than to let it stand for Crows and Rooks, and lack Daws, to build their nests in; which by their continual Cawing please the Cities well tuned ears, better than the Music of the Organs? especially being assisted by the perpetual Cackling of the Herbwomen, who were brought thither at first to strew herbs at Paul's Funeral.  
8. Whether the constant increase of buildings so wide next the City, creeping farther and farther, do not make many men to believe that the City is ready almost to take a journey into the Country, and therefore it will be very necessary to build about it as fast as we can to keep it in?  
9 Whether it be not requisite that Printers and Stationers, that their trades may not decay, should hire the Universities to keep them from Idleness the next long Vacation to pen some learned Commentaries upon the famous History of Tom Thumb, Dr. Faustus, Guy of Warwick, Robin Goodfellow, the Pigmies, the Queen of Farios, and many more such gallant pieces of Art, that are frequently read amongst us, thereby to undeceive the good people of the Land, who are as confident of their truth, as if all were Gospel and so blinded in their ignorance, notwithstanding all the great Lights that have been so lately set up.  
10. Whether the House of Lords, House of Peers, the upper House, the other House, the under House, some House, or no House, had not the unhappy chance at first to be built upon Fairy ground; and whether it were not expedient to send for Ralph Unner from Yarmouth to show some of his Art, who hanged the Devil by the nose with his male spicker at Rootam in Kent, and so the place hath never been haunted since?  
11. Whether the learned College of Physicians, if they be not too full of practice, should not do a good act to meet and examine, Whether Coffee, Sherbet, that came from Turkey, Chocolate much used by the Jews, Brosa by the Muscovites, Ta and Tee, and such other new fangled drinks, will agree with the Constitutions of our English Bodies.  
12. Whether if the Lawyers should fail, it were not a good Employment to set them on work, to make an exposition of many hard words of new Inventions, as Delinquents, Malignants, Juncture of time, and the like, which the people do not yet fully understand?  
13. Whether the Citizens Wives that humbly presented their Petition for want of trading, Mrs. Stag being in the head of them, have yet reaped the fruits of what they petitioned for, according as a worthy member than promised they should, bidding them go home to their Houses, and he would provide they should have trading enough?  
14. Whether those that are commonly called the Cavalier party, be not the most dunstical and stupid Asses in the World, excepting some few of them that have been riper witted than the rest, who being so often whipped a●● pulled by the ears, plundered and imprisoned for singing out of Tune, could never perfectly learn any new Note yet; and whether it be not far better for them to hold their tougnes and not sing at all, as they are at length contented to do, than to hinder the sweet Harmony of the times with their harsh Notes, beings it is now apparent enough they have not brains to understand it; and whether it will not be shame enough for them to stand upon Record to posterity, for opposing the people in their spiritual and civil freedom which they have promised them without Law or Gospel.  
15. Whether those that petition that they may pay no Tithes, do not give other men a fair precedent to petition that they may pay no debts?  
16. Whether those that press so much to abolish good Laws, do not implicitly plead guilty, as fearing one day to be tried by them?  
17. W. Many Church men that are allowed a fift part by act of Parliament, may not set it into their Inventary, and say as the Welshman did, for Crows and Robin run i'th' hole, all her none goods when her can each her?  
18. Whether when Church-lands are to be sold the Church of Rome, having so clear a title before the first Reformation, be not as free as any other can be for her money to purchase them again?  
19 Whether those that have got other men's Cows or Oxen do not do wisely to clap a hot loaff out of the Oven upon their horns, to wrest the horns another way, that the owner may not be able to know his own beast?  
20. Whether he that stole a horse with a cut ta●l, and fastened another tail to his rump, being pursued by the owner, did not put a handsome cheat upon him; for when he began to tax him for the horse, saying he would swear that it was his horse, were it not for his long tail, the Thief fearing to be discovered, clapped his hand upon the place where the false tail was set on, and with his knife docked the horse higher than he had been before, and then boldly replied, see how her hath a short tail, let her challenge her if her dare; thus the owner never durst lay any farther claim to his own horse?  
21. Whether the Proverb be true, that an Englishman, by his continual stirring of the Fire, shows that he never knows when a thing is well?  
22. Whether it were not fitting to take down all our Bells in Churches, that the English who are, so much given to ring the Changes, may have no farther opportunity to ring the Changes any more?  
22. Whether if Dunkirk could be brought over by by night, and set upon the English Shore, the Spaniard when he should miss it, would not wonder what was become of it; and if he should be jealous that the French had a hand in it, it might not give occasion to the breaking off the Match?  
23. Whether Mrs. Mary Frith, commonly called by some Mall Cutpurse, having formerly done so good service at the Bear, Garden, and many other things for the good of the Nation, being now aged and having no children of her own body lawfully begotten, as ever I heard of, might not do a pious Act to appoint one to succeed her to help the people to their purses again when she is gone?  
25. Whether the Stage-players being turned out of doors, cannot, to get their live, in imitation of the Opera, set up dumb Music, and instead of black patches smut Ladies in their faces that shall not observe their part they are to play, according to the wisdom of the Ancients.  
26. Whether Colbron and his fellow Giant, having for so many years in Guildhall showed themselves to be faithful Guardians to the City privileges, and being now little regarded, and grown over with dust and cobwebs, ought not for their good service to be rewarded, and a winter and summer suit yearly to be allowed them with Points and Ribbons, and all other trimming with gold and silver lace; and whether all the poor Tailors of the City who want work, ought not forth with to Petition, that they may be employed to take measure of them, and the Armourers appointed to make them new Coats of Arms that shall be Canon proof against all hostile invasion, for defence of the City.  
28. Whether if General Lashley wearing a silver he'll so long, have any Children of his own, it may not stand with some reason that they should be all born with silver Heels?  
29. Whether this Nation doth not for all their teaching, grow yet more dull of apprehension than ever they were; and whether if all the confiding men should shake never so many Rings in the Pulpits, to persuade them to bring in their Plate and Jewels, Bodkins and Thimbles, they were able to understand it?  
29. Whether it were not great wisdom for the Nation to make some serious trial of the skill and integrity of our Astrologers, who have spoken high for their Art a long time; and to call all the Stargazers und Monthly Prognosticators together, and to desire them to resolve that great question Mr. William Lily could never yet do? Who it was that sh— at his door?  
30. Whether it would not be a great ease to the people, and great profit to the Labourers, to cut some grafts in our Streets after the Holland mode, and all Tankard bearers to be hired to fill them with water, that so we might pass nimbly about our occasions, and not spend so much Shoe-leather, though all the Shoemakers and Cobblers should repine at it, who know well enough that the hard stones and dirty streets will wear out shoes faster than the common people can get money to pay for them?  
31. Whether the Wolves being all formerly destroyed here, some new ones might not be admitted probationers again, and be very much civilised, if the Quakers might have the tutor of them?  
32. Whether Maids do not now adays complain as they did in old time, that the Fairies in the night come and pinch their arms and thighs, though all places are so well guarded?  
33. Whether Pimp Whiskin, Prick me dainty, the Fiery Frigate, and many more of that noble science, be not very useful in all Countries, and most beneficial to all the followers of Esculapius?  
34. Whether the Cripple of Cornhill, who is reported to have clambered up to the top of the Spire of Paul's steeple, and brought down the golden Weathercock at his back, on the outside of the Church, by means of iron claws upon his hands, and points of iron upon his feet, though he did commit sacrilege in doing it, by venturing his life for it, did not deserve to have it freely given him for his pains?  
35. Whether Edward the Confessor who stands first in order upon the Royal Exchange with his Bible in one hand, and his staff in the other, with a Crown upon his head, did not do more good for the Nation than all the Conquerors ever since with their swords and spears, and battle axes? and whether the greatest liberty we pretend to, be not by virtue of Magna charta received from him, and whether some worthy having a double capacity as he had, may not be admitted to rule over us, nor can be thought to be excepted by the Act against Kingship and a single person, since it will be exceeding hard ever to obtain a perfect peace, unless there may be one found who shall be an indifferent Judge between the Clergy and the Laitly.  
36. Whether it be not strange news that the English men have almost all lost their way in their own Country? and whether the several guides they chose to direct them, have not brought them into a wood that they have now work enough to inquire one of another how to find the way out.   
FINIS.