Great News from Poland: BEING An Impartial Account of the Election OF A New KING, In the Room of ANTHONY, By the Grace of GOD lately Deceased.  
THe Polonians had no sooner received the surprising News of the departure of their late King, but they paid the Tears which were due to His Memory, wiped their eyes, blew their Noses, and considered of a person fit to succeed. The Candidates who appeared were numerous; Prince Prettyman Perkinoski appeared in the Van, but they soon voted him non compos mentis: because, though he was satisfied himself he was unlawfully begotten, yet he plied next Oars for an Hereditary Crown. Capellanoff le grand made a considerable Interest in the Diet, out he was thrown out too, because, whilst but a Viceroy, he had miss-imployed and imbez'led the Revenues that came near his hands; besides, he had taken upon him the employ of being the Mouth of the People of England, and their Clerk too, to draw up their unmannerly Petitions. Johannes Sheffieldislaus acquainted the Diet, that as soon as he was dressed, he would visit them, to assure them, that he was not so supercilious as to despise the Government of Poland; And that, being disappointed of the First he aspired to, he was resolved to take the Next was proffered him. [But you are to understand by the way, that the Nobility of Poland are very familiar with their King; and having smoked the haughtiness of this Spark's heart, his business was dispatched.]  
To reckon up all the Pretenders would be too tedious; therefore, in short, the choice fell upon Arthur E. of A A —y, adjudged by the most prudent part of the Diet the fittest Person to succeed Anthony; and that, for his Religion, his Principles of Honour and Honesty, his Natural Aversion to a Lineal Descent, for proof of his Religion, there needed no more, than that there have been entertained Men of all persuasions at this King Arthur 's Round-Table, (for we must no longer call him plain Arthur.) Such a temper as this is chief requisite in a Polish King: It being said of Poland, That he that has lost his Religion, may easily find it there. There shalt thou glut thyself, O King Arthur! Thou admired Patron of Toleration; There you may pay the respects you own to the Romanists, to the Lutherans, to the Calvinists, to the Arrians, Anabaptists, Anti-Trinitarians, etc. and thy Royal Consort Queen Bess, may, to her hearts desire, sit in state in a Conventicle every day.  
His Principles of Honour and Honesty appeared by his underhand deal with Toney of cursed memory; His aversion to the Succession was such, that the greatest ties of gratitude could not reconcile him to it.  
Thus did King Arthur carry it from all the Pretenders; but what teemed most of his side, was, his Old Age, and Decrepidness; for the Electors of Poland love to shift their Kings as fast as they can; and long as much for election of a King, as any bawling Forty-shilling-Free-holder does in England for a new Knight of the Shire.  
His Majesty (we hear) has made some alterations of the great Officers of State, as well as those about his gouty Person: having resolved to prefer none but such as merit his gracious Favour, whose Names are as follow: 

Boreaski Whad-d'ye-call-himski, Lord High-Chancellor of Poland.  
Microcosmus Audbryjus, Generalissimo of his Forces, upon condition he do greater Martial Feats than those of Ireland.  
* Note, That it is thought King Arthur will be his own Privy-Seal.  
Humpbackgundi Escrickski, Archbishop of Cracovia, Lord Almoner, and Dean of the (happel, for cheapness-sake: having a way of retrenching the Sacrament, by administering with Lambs-wool.  
Capellanoff le grand, Lord High-Treasurer.  
Mons. Acutus Bloomsburiensis, Ambassador Extraordinary upon all accounts: having the faculty of betraying the secrets of any Embassy to the Diet.  
Lord Chamberlain continued.  
Signior Tho. Strongarmski, By her Majesty's intercession, first Gentleman of the Bedchamber: provided he never more converse with Botelia.  
Bloodowndsby Howardski, Grooms of the Bedchamber, in case they tell every thing they hear.  
Moroso Progero, Grooms of the Bedchamber, in case they tell every thing they hear.  
Finicalki Babercelaus, Esquires of the Body.  
Pimpanello Forbesius, Groom of the Stool, and Policy-reader to them that cannot read about Court.  
Gilbertus Groaningboardellus, Confessor to her Majesty, provided they will not geld him when he goes over.  
Monsieur Papillionski, Sheriffs of Cracovia, without any opposition.  
Monsieur Duboienski, Sheriffs of Cracovia, without any opposition.    
Her Majesty has only as yet made choice (being wholly devoted to Religion) of Her Chaplains, and is now only taken up in repenting (if possible) the God-nepping Act in Poland: being in Her Royal Opinion as destructive to Presbytery as the 35th. of Her Name in England.  
GOD Save the QUEEN.   

London: Printed for the Assigns of F. S. 1683.