Hampton-Court CONSPIRACY, WITH The Downfall of the Agitators and Levellers, who would admit no distinction of Birth or Tittle, and out of the Lands of the whole Kingdom in General would proportion an equal Estate to every man in particular.  
TOGETHER With the horrid resolution of one George Greenland Corporal, who in the space of three days did undertake to murder his Majesty at Hampton-Court.  
More than King-catching herein you may spy,  
King-killing Hampton-Courts Conspiracy.  
Printed in the Year 1647:   

Hampton-Court conspiracy.  A. B. 
WHat are now become of our Mountebank Horse-Doctors the Agitators, who have so long made both House's house of Offices for evacuations and purges; the only Wise men to state the case of the kingdom, or to uncase it into states; Whose Dictates were more than Documents, and Proposals Imposals, bespeaking both Speakers silent, making a younger brother of our Parliament, in bequeathing unto it one of their particoloured Coats, not so much for a badge of division, as that each spot of knavery might have its splendour, and so become the less blemish, but because of its long dreaming have left in the pit of despair?  T. S. 
Sir these Agitating Anthony's of our time I believe have made so many interrogatives of the Prerogative, that it is a hard question to resolve whither the devil hath carried them by the spirit of a Proposal: Report bespeaks them voted back to their several charges, that is devoted or consecrated to the charge of the kingdom; perhaps the devil hath carried them to the Spittle pinnacle, for not long ago some of them with their animal agents were seen there to overlook the kingdoms of the world, and the glory of them, which appeared (for one instance) in a Comfit-maker (who stood upon a bench dressing Sweetmeats for them like mad, and indeed the Sisters gaped upon him as if they wanted sugar plumbs) but to the point, this fellow told them that it was revealed unto him out of the Revelations, that twenty years hence at farthest, the Saints shall begin their reign of a thousand years; and that text that the meek shall inherit the earth; did wrap him up in such a high sphere of spiritual solace and jocanty, that he despise all worldly comfort making; but observe whether amongst these Levellers, there was not the very form and matter of a conventice Conspiracy against Hampton Court, or the King of it; for they gathered hands to begin to make plain the highway of our Lord King Charles; their argument was, that the Creator is no respecter of persons; Ergo, why should the creature, wherefore we will leave Hampton-Court with my Sister Hannas' Kitchen, the people chose the King, Ergo, why should we not choose whether we will have a King or Noah. These plots of high concernment were agitated below stairs, in allusion to the powder plot, above stairs they whimperd out freewill, which intimated their inherent ability to act these good works, and sweet roguries. From all which I infer that the Scribes, Pharises, Hypocrites, instead of paying Tribute to Caesar, would have him pay Tribute to their Tub tribunals, to bequeath his head to the wise Agitators, his body to the liberty of the subject, and so he may become, if not a Saint a Separatist; which if they can accomplish it will probably prognostic that these Saints shall be sovereigns.  A. B. 
But what is it that terminates their design?  T. S. 
First a confusion of King and Court. Secondly a concussion or knocking together the simple noddels of the vulgar into a community until they run all horn mad. For the first they have the Pope's Bull, to wit Mr. Peter's, who must roar the Catholic Commonality out of Allegiance, into the coxcomb community of sublunary creatures; who of late hath converted his Apostolical keys into putry padlocks, persuading his Majesty it is the narrow way to heaven to be shut up close, whiles himself holds riding about like an Itinerary Minister, as the just right of liberty of Conscience, prohibiting some purblind Presbyters into divine Post boys. The divine Dell, and Peter's the other day opened their mouth, and the devil spit in them, and they spoke saying, the King was but as a dead dog; which interpreted, is he shall live no longer as a man; Rabshekah was a royalist to these rogues, was ever such pulpit puppies seen or heard of in this universe, that snarled at his sovereign as a Dog. I know not whether it be the common prayers to punish such prodigious Prophets, but I am sure it is divine service to hang them.  
2. For the second they plead the old custom in the nonage of times, and as King Pinus was said when the first that constituted confines and ordained bounds, so these Pinnies will begin anew (because all things but of that are become new) to be boundless all things are to be common to the outward and inward man, and nothing proper unless it be to propagate a posterity out of their neighbour's wife's propristy; now I must want a share in a sister's dowry, whether it be copy hold Land, or to be tenant intale, each Citizen must proclaim himself a Coukcold and his wife a Concubine, and farewell all private devotin in mine Uncle's countinghouse thirty pounds a year shall he distributive justice to those that had just nothing afore, towards the execution of which at large, they shut up my Lord Mayor and his brethren, converting their gold chains into silver mint.  
And these Agitators the no more ring leaders to this Conspiracy?  T. S. 
For some of Putney prerogative would willingly change the year of King Charles his reign into the year of his ruin.  
Making head quarters for to be more high  
Than the crown of it regal Monarchy.  
Amongst whom, if he be not converted, I may reckon one almost omnipotent, a Oliver who hath cut more cross capers then them all, whose private spirit breathes negatives and affirmatives instanti, in an instant. First he affirm that the religious Army will prostrate their Arms at the Parliaments feet, at the least beck of intimation; then spurrecuts to the Army, and gives them a negative Nod to forbear disbanding on pain of persecution. Another time persuades the House to commit Sir Thomas his Commission, because he thought King was a little above Charles Stevart, and therefore not liable to the lamentable result of a petty paper plodding Committee, but timely intelligence very excellently forewarning his Excellence, he made a halt at the House door, and sent his Commission to a Court of guard to be tied neck and heels from their clutches, wherefore Oliver crossed a caper, and bid his Excellence to conceal it, to maintain his march, for the house lay in Ambuscado.  A. B. 
Yet he doth not run parallel with an Agitator.  T. S. 
For than he should be a Leveller, I suppose he is rather a Reveller, for Crumwell hath so well picked up his crumbs from under the late well spread table of the Commonwealth, that now he would sit at the upper end of the board, the Sir Anthony's being but the dogs of his flock (as Peter's his puppy dog only for his bravado barking) who gain a few fragments by the way of snapping. Had it not been for his Iron-sides the other day, his ribs had paid Tribute to Caesar, for being ruled by Endymion Ireton in the behalf of a little piece of his Majesty's Prerogative.  A. B. 
Neither is Crumwell such an all crusty conditioned fellow as I took him for.  T. S. 
For I conjecture that he would willingly preserve the Prerogative so it were in the salt pichle of Independency. The other day he made a very canonical condemnatory speech, to stop the career of the Hobby-horsmen of Israel; biding of them show their faith by their works, or sound a retreat to their several Regiments, and do nothing at all, for they ought to be under Government and not over it. Concerning which (to err a little with the brethren) I heard a dispute at the spiritual Spittle, one propounded his argument thus, if the honourable and freeborn people of England, be the Foundation and groundwork of Government, it is requisite they should Govern: but they are, Ergo, what are Kings, Princes, and Potentates? only the specious superstructure which we support, Ergo, we are the principle, which duly considered is a very fundamental point; the Fabric ought to be inferior to the fundament or foundation, by which local rule of contraries, the tall shall dictate to the head, the breeches to the brainpan: and so be right sir Animal Agitators.  A. B. 
Then Sisters shall succeed Senators, and ride to Westminster.  T. S. 
What a pretty condition should we be in, if this Spittle should be super-steeple predominant over all our Synagogues.  A. B. 
Surely chimney-Churches would smoke us out of the Temple, but themselves in that thick spirit would mount to the spirits that rule in the air, for they are devilish children of disobedience. What is all this but a mere jesuitical juggling against the poor King of Hampton-Court, and Kirke.  T. S. 
It is so. Did not the Agitators come to push of pike with him in his forced retreat? very probably they shown him the point of death, & would have forced it upon him as a main point of their Doctrine, though the devils Use. O brave St. Authonies' fire of zeal, must the King not only be confined, but confounded, is it all one to carry him to his throne, and to go about to cut his throat? O high and mighty Proposals to the now, if you please freely begot people of England (for cummune being bonum, it is fitting all things should be common) wherein every lamentable letter speaks a praemunire to the Prerogative, and seems to crush the Crowne-beneath the footstool of a Cobbler, translating his person by underlaying into the similitude of a Saint.  T. S. 
These Traitors of our age, or Agitators in their last firework to the Army, let off a Cracker with noise that they with their fellow soldiers did and should do the Parliament as much service by disobedience as obedience.  T. S. 
That is as well by not disbanding when they commanded, as by banding together against the Lord and his Anointed when they desired, (which may be an Oracle, though not of Apollo, yet of a pox of them, the shakers' whose spirits are familiar with the devil) portending those that raised this Parliament shall ruin it, or shake it into shivers, or shit it away by fanatic fluxing.  A. B. 
It is a great question what an Agitator means; therefore tell me.  T. S. 
I will nominate some several significations that the the word carries, which much relates their antic or rather Antinomian actions. First it signifies a tossen; and what is the kingdom now but a Tennis-court, and his Majesty the ball banded about with the roguish racked of roundheadisme, and often hazarded to destruction; look from Dan to Bersheba, and you shall see such tossing the Independent petticoats for free quarter, and such toss potting to credit the Public Faith; that doubtless shortly all things must be common, and then this last age shall be exalted above the first because of horns, and Couckolds will be a custom if not canonical.  
Secondld, Sir Anthony Agitator signifies a driver of a cart or beast; and now are not Carremen, nay the very carriage of men become Kings, who drive the Cart of the Commonwealth into the deep ditch of desolation, crying high gee ho, both to God and the Gospel, lashing the poor commonalty with twisted cords of conspiracy.  
Thirdly to agitate signifies to prick or compel; do not they prick forward Community for all commodities, pull up the hedge of honesty from their Neighbour's piece of ground; thinking it too much modesty for a Saint to cover a sin.  
Fourthly, suriae sagitant improbas, it signifies to torment; and did not these Tinkerly Traitors terrify the people with the sound of their kettledrums: nay they have now made the addle headed multitude uncapable of their Amsterdam, and animal alarms: from whence in fine, I define an Agitator to be an arch Tub Traitor of this age whom the Devil lately tossed out of the bottomless pit to drive on his desinges, prick Principalities, and torment the times.  
FINIS.