THE Hangman's joy, OR THE Traitor's Sorrow.  
BEING, A very merry Dialogue, between the Hangman, and the Haltermaker.  
Together with some Verses, found in the Rolls of the pretended High Court of Justice.  
With an Epitapth on those Traitors, that Murdered the King. Delightful and pleasant, with witty expressions, and if rightly understood.  
London, Printed for John Andrews, at the white-Lyon near Py-Corner.   

THE Hangman's joy.. OR THE Traitor's Sorrow. BEING, A very merry Dialogue, between the Hangman and the Halter-maker.  Hangman. 
WEll met fellow tradesman, how have you done this long and many a day, I was very fearful that you had not been in health, for I have not seen you this long and many a day, what made you for to look so sadly and droopy? so much prithee tell me.  Halter-maker. 
Surely I have great cause to be sorry, for trading hath been slack, and no harvest this many years, but I hope for better trading.  Hangman. 
Yea brother so do I too, for a longtime they have cozened me of my trading, and would suffer none for to be hanged but for murder only.  Halt. 
But now I will tell the gallant news, thy trading will now revive, for where thou hadst one Jobb now thou wilt have five  Hang. 
Why brother what good news dost thou hear? tell me, if that I may gain but one ten pounds by hearing it for to begin the world a new I will give the one quart of the best Canary.  Halt. 
Dost thou think that I am a Canary-bird, thou fool, they sing in a Cage.  Hangm. 
Thou Ass traitors sing best in the tower, for they this whole Nation did devour, Priests, and people did them all obey, which brought three Nations almost to decay.  Haltm. 
ho, ho, ho, a horse, a horse, a horse, a thousand pounds for a horse, to keep head and shoulders together: make room for the number of traitors, whose breath hath infected three Kingdoms, and converted stately Territories into new vaumpt Comonwealths  Hangm. 
They have plagued the people to very small purpose, for though they have taken hold of sanctuary privileges, and cry pecavey for their lives, yet their extorted Estates must be forfeited to the right owners again.  Halterm. 
Yea brother and I know that it is a geat grief unto them that hoodwinked the Nations under the vale of pretended Religion whilst like that ravining Harpies they devoured both men's personal and Real Estates: to be called to an account after so many years' enjoyment of the same, this comes unexpected  Hangm. 
Nay brother, they say that if they had gone on with their traitorous Judas th●y had scaped a purging, yea and brother they hope to cozen the hangman, but I hope the contrary.  Haltm. 
Nay brother more than that they confess that your woeful cry of drive on carter so terrifies and a frights them the guilty conscience of those poor black saints.  Hangm. 
Nay brother, many of those have attained to a pastport to transport them, from town, to town, till they come to the invisible Isle, where they hope for to be secure and free from the sword of Justice.  Halt. 
These count themselves in a far better condition than many of their brethren, whose impregnable wisdom could never reach to the art of navigation for to provide flying frigates against this time of trouble if this their Eutopian Counsel failed them.  Hangm. 
Truly brother, had they been so wise they might have been transported to the Commonwealth of old Oceana, and have been carried by Charon over the river of Stixe for their better security.  Halt. 
Yea brother but they say that as the case stands they had better be content with a prison than a hempen halter.  Hangm. 
Truly these unjust Judges made a just and true confession to, and before a friend of ours, which from their own mouths was taken, in a high Court short hand, and so was pressed to go out and to inform the whole Nation of their actions.  Halterm. 
Good brother rehearse them unto me, and I will be thankful to you for your good will.  Hangm. 
I will rehearse them as I found them Enrolled in the record of their high Court of Justice.  

The Confession of those unjust Jdges:  
Our King we murdered, yet the works not done  
For then on Holland▪ Capel, Hambelton  
Our pause we laid, by us was Darbys loss,  
As by the Scotch Kirk that Noble Earl Montross,  
We Garret killed, & valiant Brown Bushel,  
Sir Alexander, Cary, and Vowel,  
Aston, Stacy, and Hewet who doth lie  
A martyred Saint, and Noble Slingsby,  
Besides to aggravate our sins above,  
The thoughts of man we Murdered Master Love,  
With many more, we took no pity.  
Drawn hanged & quartered in fair London City,  
There's none of us but do deserve to die,  
Who for these cruel evils in prison lie,  
Where we had better be, our lives to save,  
Then (as deserved) the gallow tree to have,  
Our brother Barkstead once a man of power,  
Is fled whilst we have taken London's Tower  
Like Hector's bold, we did presume to kill  
Our King, though it be sore against our will  
To answer that pretended good Old Cause,  
By which we robbed poor England of just laws  
Which would condemn us all, had we our due  
To be drawn hanged and then quartered too.   Halt. 
Brother these inhuman Judges, first killed their K. and then banished his Q. chased away his sons, slew, and destroyed and Imprisoned all his friends, made it Treason for to name the King, or once to mention him.  Hang. 
Nay more than that, they took away all his lands▪ and gave or sold them one to another, felling his Timber, destroying his Deer, casting down his Castles; poleing his Subjects and what not.  Halt▪ 
Yea thats two true, but I can certify you that these purchasers must now nile ye, will ye, deliver up their unjust got land unto the right owners.  Hang▪ 
Yea I know that Mr. Edward's must deliver up his manner of Old Court which he purchased for a small sum of money.  Halt. 
A ye, and Sir George Norton must give up his manor of Richmond, with the house and materials.  Hang. 
And Capt. John Blackwel must return his Manor of Eggham that he holdeth.  Halt. 
And Col. Okey must now forsake his Manor of Ampthil, and his Manor of Mill-brook, and betake himself to his old road, oh this fortune is a Jade.  Hang. 
Col. Wauton and Adrian Scr●op must now for go their Manors at Sumerham with the Chase and Park, and the Manor of Crowland, with part of the Manner of Spalding, they must leave these Manors.  Halt. 
hay day! what must they part with all these at once I thought something was the matter, that they hoarded up all the Manors, that thou and I had so few, marry come up hear.  Hang. 
And Mr. Blackwel must leave that part of the Manor, of East-ham, that he purchased at so easy a rate.  Halt. 
And Edward whaley must leave his too Manors of the Manor of West-Walton, and the Manor of Trington, for he purchased them at a very easy rate.  Hang. 
He showed but little manners, when he bore a house a grudge for many years together, only because a stranger by chance cast a little piece of a tobacco-pipe out of his hand unawars, hit him him o'th' head, for this and no other cause, he sought for to undo all that ever came into that house, since that time.  Halt. 
Nay more than that Mr. Dendy purchased the manner of Eye but now he must throw up his title.  Hang. 
Non-such great Park then was purchased by Col. Pride from his force they will the same divide.  Halt. 
Col. John Lambert purchased Non-such house and park, but his dogs no more in it must bark.  Hang. 
That Scot that said he desired no other Epitaph upon his tomb when he was dead, but only that they should write Here lieth Thomas Scot one of the late King's Tryers, is now very likely for to come to my hand, then will I show him as much mercy as he showed his King, and toss him to some purpose.  Halt. 
I remember on verse more found enrolled in the Court of Injustice, worth the reciting which is this.  
Now Justice doth his sword advance,  
Good Lord what will betid,  
Though some Traitors are gone to France,  
Of those here abide,  
The Laws will now throughout the Land,  
To execution bring.  
Those Tyrant's great who had a hand,  
In Murdering Charles our King.  Hang. 
A ye! marry I like this well, for now both thou and I shall have good trading, do thou be sure to make thy Halters very strong, and not too long.  Halt. 
I'll warrant thee Lad, I'll warrant thee, let me alone, for a plain dance for I'll spare neither▪ for stuff nor labour, but be sure that thou dost procure me a good price then.  Hang. 
I will help the to a very great price or else I will give thee an half penny out of my fees, then shall I have but just thirteen pence to myself.  Halt. 
Marry I thank your heartout, you will be at great charges, thank you for nothing.  Hang. 
Well, well, I will henceforward save my money and bestow it upon strong liquor, but if that you will rehearse the other verses that you found in that unjust Court, the next Beer-tavorn we come at, I will be so generous that I will give thee half a pint of small beer.  Halt. 
Oh abominable niggard that will promise me an half penny, to augment my wages, and put me off with half a pint of small beer.  Hang. 
Why thou Genosifixe is not that enough to give; away proceed to your verses.  Haltermaker. 

Gentry late come out of France, use hospitality,  
The Cripples they begin to dance, and vows they shall not die,  
Beggars that ride on horse back they, are surely born to sorrow,  
For they that live in pomp to day, may be hanged before to morrow,  
Traitors than shall now go down, and tyrannize no more,  
On such Varlet's fortune doth frown, and pays them their old score,  
Then let's be merry, carouse, and prate, good lack what days are these,  
To see the change that is so great, the Hangman must us ease.   Hang. 
O brave I like this well, this pleases my palate exceeding well, for now I am sure that I shall do more work in one month now, than I have done in seven years heretofore, for I am credibly informed, that there are twenty great heavy men to be executed.  Halt. 
There are many run away beyond the Seas quite out of your reach and therefore you will be deceived of your purpose for all your haste.  Hang. 
Dost thou not think that any Prince whatsoever will not send back those traitors to receive their due deserved reward?  Halt. 
Nay Master Sniper-snapar. I consent that it was their own Laws that none should be hanged except it was for murder, and therefore it is but just, that they that Murdered their Soveragin should be trust.  Hang. 
You say true, for they do justly deserve for to be put to death, but after what manner, that lies not in my power to dispose.  Halt. 
I tell thee, I would have them all hanged on the trees for the fowls to feed upon, for truly I think that none but their one confederates will pity them.  Hang. 
Thou sayest true indeed, for my own part I would fain be exercising my Office upon them, either by beheading or hanging of them all, if they will be ruled by me.  Haltermaker. 

It's time for birds to fly that do expect,  
A halter for treason and their base neglect  
Of duty to their Soveragine Lord their King  
Such birds I wish may all in sorrow sing,  
Not in a cage as many birds you see,  
But in a rope upon the Gallow tree,  
Then shall we have trading and be brave,  
For never a one of them I hope they'll save,  
Those that went beyond Sea may return,  
For whose defections all the land did mourn.  
The harvest is ripe, their sins are red,  
'tis time that they should make a grave their bed  
And this is truth that I to thee do tell  
And thus in sooth I bid adieu farewell.   Hang. 
Yea marry Sir, better and better still boy, good news for me boys, up they go if any one of them was the dearest friend that I have, in this present world, Traitors hang them up all.  Halterman. 

Our grief was great but now our state, Is well recruted again,  
The Wolf of late, is out of date, the Lion he doth reign.  
Traitor's then must come home again, opressions out of season,  
Their damnable strain is all in vain, their actions smell of Treason.  
Tyranny must down in every Town, for no Traitors here shall be,  
Your treason's known and none will own, such Traitors as you be.  
Then let these Traitors their desert now have  
And post to hell a labour for to save,  
For covetousness you kil●d your King I know  
As in the weal, so must you share in wo.  
Such traitors should be hanged that basely boast  
As faring well by shamless crying Rost,  
And now you Traitors, pack togethergo,  
we shall live happy when your gone I trow.   Hang. 
Run for the Carpenters, come away, build up the Scaffold at the Tower hill, and another in the Palace-yard, let us do to them as they did to us, or it shall hard.  

Then hasten Carpenters and let us Gallows have a pace.  
To hang up every Traitor yet, that invies Charles his race.   Halt. 
And this shall be their Epitaph, upon their graves.  

Here lies within this barre● ground  
The chief Impostors so profound,  
That with the Angel's guardian,  
Both King and Kingdom did trapan,  
Their consciences was so wide, that you  
Might coach and horses drive quit through  
And they confounded every one,  
And called three Nations all their own,  
They were Tyrants of the largest size,  
Confounding the ignorant and wise,  
They did rebel against their King,  
And Traitors proved in every thing.  
A shameful death God will them send,  
And so farewell this is the end.   
FINIS.  

Harry Martin