IMITATION AND CAUTION FOR CHRISTIAN WOMEN: OR, The life and death of that Excellent Gentlewoman, Mrs. MARY BEWLEY; Who departed this life (her only son having finished his course the 9th. of December before) on the first of Febr. 1658/9. Recommended to the Reader, by the Reverend and Eminently learned Doctor REYNOLDS. But a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised, Prov. 31. 30. But he (Jacob) refused to be comforted, and he said, For I will go down into the grave unto my son mourning, Gen. 37. 35. O my son Absalon, my son, my son Absalon, would God I had died for thee, O Absalon, my son, my son, 2 Sam. 18. 33. LONDON, Printed by E. M. for George Calvert, at the Half Moon in Paul's churchyard, near the little North-door, 1659. THE EPISTLE TO THE Reader. THough I had not the happiness to be acquainted with that excellent woman, whose character is here published for an example unto others; yet having been desired to peruse this breviate of her life and death, I could not but judge it fit for public view, in regard of the great benefit which many may reap by reading of it; for examples have a special efficacy to provoke and extimulate others to be followers of those who through faith and patience do inherit the Promises. The Apostle amongst that cloud of witnesses by whose faith he doth persuade others to run with patience unto the race which is set before them, hath recorded the examples of Sarah, Rahab, Moses his mother, and other women, as an encouragement unto unweariedness in that race. And maketh honourable mention of Phebe, Priscilla, Mary, Persis, and other holy women, whose graces are not only crowned in heaven, but are left as a sweet perfume in the Church on earth, to quicken the imitation of all good women in all after-ages: Nor was this way of celebrating the memory of gracious women out of use afterwards. Gregory Nazianzen hath a Panegyrical Oration on his Sister Gorgonia; Basil upon the Martyr Julitta; Nyssen upon Pulcheria and Placilla; Chrysostom upon Bernice, Prosdole, Pelagia; Hierom is copious in the praises of Lea, Marcelia, Asella, Blesilla, Paula, Fabiola, &c. Nor do women of eminent graces now less deserve honour, nor others of inferior note less need helps for their encouragement, than they did in former Ages. I commend both the work and the Readers to God's blessing. Edward Reynolds. IMITATION and caution FOR CHRISTIAN WOMEN; Or the life and death of that Eminent Gentlewoman, Mrs. MARY BEWLEY. WHo a Prov. 31. 10. can find a virtuous woman? said the wise Solomon (who to his own proper share had no fewer than b 1 King. 11. 3. a thousand of them to make c Eccl. 7. 27, 28 trial of) being so d Prov. 31. 1. taught by his mother, who by her communion with the sex, might have larger acquaintance with, and by reflecting on herself, deeper experience of the weakness and vanity of the generality of the female world: but when e Prov. 18. 22. that good thing, that fav●ur, that f Prov. 12. 4. Crown is found and obtained of the Lord, than is her price above rubies, and she to be g Prov. 31. 28, 29, 30, 31. blessed and praised by her relations, and the chief of the people meeting in the gates while alive, lamented over when h Act. 9 36, 39 Gen. 23▪ 2. dead, and kept in memory after i Gen. 35. 20, 48, 7. Mat. 26. 12, 13. Luke 1. 48. death: And it is by reason of the scarcity of such virtuous women, that in Scripture such special notice is taken of an k 1 Pet. 3. 6.. obedient Sarah, a prudent, discreet l 1 Sam. 25. Abigal, a m 2 Sam. 20. ●2 wise woman of Abel, a n Esther 4. 10. public-spirited Hester, a o 1 Sam 1, ch. 2. Luke 1. devout Hannah and Elizabeth; p Luk. 1, ch. 2. the humble, yet most high woman, the Mother of our Lord, q Luke 2. 38. and that excellent Gospel-news publisher Anna; r Acts 16. 14. the tender-hearted Lydia, s 2 Kings 4. 10 that liberal Shunamite, and those other charitable t Luke 8. 2, 3. 21. 2. women in the New Testament: Phebe Rom. 16. 12. Mary, ver. 6. and Dorcas, Acts 9 36. of the u 1 Pet. 3. 5. Gen. 24. 65. modestly adorned holy women of old; of that private instructrix, w Act. 18. 23, 26 Rom. 16 3. Priscilla the tentmaker, together with Tryphena and Tryphosa, Rom. 16. 12. Lois and Eunice, 2 Tim. 1. 5. with 3. 15. of that repentant sinner, Luke 7. 37. that importunately bold believing Syrophoenician, Mark 7. 24, 25, &c. and of the x Luk. 10. 38. John 11. 5. loving and beloved Martha and Mary. And for the same reason did the Ancients and others record and celebrate women of special note in all Ages; as may be seen in the writings of y Ludovicus Vides de institutionae Christiana foeminae. Englished Anno 1547. Cornelius Agrippa▪ de nobilitate & praecellentia foeminei sexus: in English also Theatrum vita humanae▪ Bezerliuck. vol. 8 lib M. Zwingeri. Theatrum vitae humana. The general History of women, by Heywod. Mr. Clark's Examples, and second vol. of lives. The woman's glory by Mr. Torshel. The English Gentlewoman by Mr. Braithwait. Opera Annae Mariae Aschurman. And who list may see more in Draudii Bibliotheca Tit. mulierum Commendationes Historic●●; & T●t. vita Heroinarum. The Lady's vindication by Mr. Gerbier. those who have thought it worth the while to draw them together under one view: yea, and in this Nation, z Mrs. Br●●●●rghs life and death subjoined to the two Funeral Sermons preached at her burial, by Mr. Harrison, and Mr. Leigh. The holy life and Christian death of Mrs. Stubs: Two Funeral Sermons of Mr Gataker; the one at the Funeral of Mrs. Rebecca Crisp; the other at the Funeral of Dr. Featly's wife. Mr. Nicholas Guy, his Narration of the life and death of Dr. Gouges wife. Dr. Down, D. of Saint Paul's, Sermon of Commemoration of the Lady Danvers. Mrs. Drake revived, showing her strange case and cure; printed, 1647. Mr. Josselin at the Funeral of Mrs. Harlakendin. The life and death of Mrs Ratcliff of Chester, by Mr. Ley one of the Assembly. Mr. Robinson's Sermon at Mrs. Barnidistons' Funeral. Mr. Mantons', at Mrs. Blackwell's. Dr. Spurstow's at the Lady honour Viners. Mr. Calamies at Mrs. Moor's. Mr. Roberts at Mrs. Jacksons of Bristol. Mr. Shaw's Narrative of his wife's life and death, recommended to the Reader by the Epistles of Mr. Manton, Mr. Heath-coat, Mr. Pool, and the consolatory verses of Mr Jenkin. Mr. Thomas Goodwins Sermon at the Funeral of the Lady Barrington; Mr Greenhill on Ezekiel vol. first, his Epistle Dedicatory to the late Princess Elizabeth. And the many Epistles Dedicatory to Ladies and Gentlewomen: Reverend Divines have judged it expedient and useful to propose some women as patterns to others; not as if they were the only eminent, (for many die, and their excellency goes away without any regarding it) but that in such a scarcity all may not be lost; for though holy women in educating their children, and governing their family, may yield a sweet favour to those about them; yet the lives (as Mr. * In his Epistle before Mrs. Shawes' l●●e. Manton hath well observed) of God's precious Saints (how private soever their station be) are very well worthy of record and public notice, exhibiting not only a pattern and lively Transcript of Religion, (and truly now and then 'tis good to look upon Christ's living Epistles) but also of much provocation and encouragement to holiness. Therefore it is also judged convenient to represent briefly, plainly and truly, the latter part of the life, and the deservedly lamented death of this, though not generally known, yet eminent Gentlewoman, Mrs. MARY BEWLEY; and that not so much out of private affection to her, (an object of purest and choicest love) or to preserve her memory, together with her sons among us, (for to whom of their relations, will they not a Prov. 10. 7. Psal. 112 6. always smell fragrantly?) but chiefly to illustrate the glory of God, and to edify the living; especially her kindred, friends and acquaintance, yea, so many of her sex as shall find leisure to read his short Narrative, in which they may find some things worthy of imitation, observation and caution, and that both in her life, prosperous and afflicted, and in her sickness and death. Her life, not to insist on her modest and holy deportment while a b 1 Cor. 7. 34. 2 Cor. 11. 2. Gen. 24. 65. Virgin; it sufficeth for a proof hereof, that she was much esteemed by Doctor Stoughton, and by him c Rom. 16. 1. recommended to her now desolate husband, as a godly and meet consort for him: And that in her latter years it was a ground of fear to her, that she could not remember the time and manner of her conversion; though she had the testimony of her conscience, that through the whole course of her pilgrimage she had loved and feared God, and had walked in all holy duties before him; a scruple sufficient to trouble a tender soul, but abundantly answered d Eccl. 11. 5. & Ps. 139. 15, 16. with John 3. 8. Mark 4. 26, 27. Luk. 15. 13.- 17. with v. 31. from the holy Scriptures in the Writings and Sermons of our English Divines: Take therefore a prospect and view of her as a woman; in all her relations, in her holiness, and in her behaviour under her late affliction; she was then, A Gentlewoman docile, of quick apprehension, not like those silly women, who are ever learning, and still ignorant; She hath been observed to dispute with her son syllogistically, and to enlarge her discourse with him by the help of the Predicaments, and to reply upon him in witty extemporary verse; she had a good understanding, and solid judgement, could both give (as sundry have experimented) and take counsel; she was prudent in her behaviour, far from lightness or morosity, but stately affable; e 1 Tim. 5. 13. Prov. 19 3. 27. 15. Prov. 31 26. Eccles. 3. 7. she was no tatler, no continual dropping, but opened her mouth with wisdom, and shut it with discretion, both when and where her judgement prompted her; she delighted not to tire her hearers with an impertinent flux of words, or to f Prov. 11. 13. 20. 19 25. 9, 10. reveal those secrets which were committed to her, but had a faithful spirit; and needed no seal for her lips to keep herself from shaeme, and others from trouble; and yet to give her her due, as a woman she was too much overruled with love and sorrow, care and fear about her near relations. In all her relations; as, A child. g Prov. 4. 3. Her father's darling while he lived, and her mother's delight since his death, always loving and * Prov. 23. 22. Ezek. 22. 7. dutiful to her, both in her behaviour, words and actions; who though she was eldest of all her mother's children, yet was most h Luke 2. 51. obedient to her; comforting, cherishing and entertaining her, with herself, in her own home; and when she died, i John 19 27. recommended her in a special manner to her husband; so that now the reverend good mother, laments for her daughter as her eminently gracious child, and one that never offended her, but fought God betimes. A Wife. Known to be surpassing kind and loving to her husband, solicitous for k Job 19 17. his health, neglecting her own for to take care of his; l 1 Sam. 25. Prov. 31. a wise manager of what part of his estate he committed to her: So that his heart trusted safely in her; for she did him good, and not evil, all the days of her life; counselling and assisting him both by pen and tongue; yea, with Abigail, sometimes m 1 Sam 25. 36, 37. seasonably and discreetly admonishing him; comforting and cheering him up, for the law of kindness was in her mouth; keeping in her grief before him, though to her own prejudice, lest he should be grieved; wisely compliant with his will, and that in some things wherein many wives will have their will; loyal to him, n See examples in Lewis Vives in English, Gen. 20. 16. Prov. 5. 19 delighting most in his company, and never taking pleasure to walk abroad without him; being to him as the loving hind and pleasant Roe; for all which her husband praised her, all commended her, and some imitate her. A Mother. Who her own self o Other examples see in the authors already cited. instructed her only son to read even his Accidents, and like another p 2 Tim. 1. 5. with 3. 15. Prov. 1. 8, 31, 1, 2, &c. Eunice, to know the Scriptures from a child; framing and propounding such questions to him, as made him give a good account of the chief Histories in the Bible, she was in pain till she saw Christ formed in him; prayed daily for him, followed him with her wholesome counsel and wise reproofs, not conniving at the least imperfection or appearance of evil in him; ambitious to have him eminent and useful in that employment which he intended, often persuading him to be diligent, and therefore setting before him the detestableness of the life of an idle Gentleman. What her true love to him was, and that though it was great, yet not foolish and sinful, may appear by this following letter, written to him four months before his death. Dearly beloved child, I rejoice exceedingly to hear of the welfare of thy body, and that thy outward man prospers; but the q 2 Cor. 4. 16. Epist. 3. of Joh. ver. 2. flourishing of thy inward man, and the prosperity of thy soul, thy thriving in grace, how much this will add both to the inward joy and outward contentment of her that bare thee, I want both time and words to express? And as God in his wise providence hath seen it good to give me but one to build my hopes upon, I hope the Lord Jesus hath both purchased and prayed that this one r Joh. 17. 21. may be one with himself, which ever hath been, and I hope shall be the prayer of thy most affectionate and endeared mother. As also this passage in a letter of hers to his friend. Sir, one request more in the behalf of my child, to beg your earnest prayers that what you have endeavoured s 1 Cor. 3. 7. to plant, God would water with the heavenly dew of his Spirit, that his soul may flourish, and you see of the travel of yours and be satisfied. And Isa. 53. 11. for this, her son most ardently loved her, most dutifully obeyed her, and arose up and blessed her: yet herein was she to be blamed, that she was over-careful about him while he lived, and over-sorrowful when he died. A Sister,] who as she had got the first-borns portion of parts, (as her son used to speak) so she did faithfully improve them for the good of her brethren and sisters, being a stay and support to them all, advising them by word and letter, admonishing, and mildly reproving when need required; keeping them in the house with her, while unmarried, and together with her husband, (who is and hath engaged himself still to be kind to all her relations) disposing of them in marriage; setting them a copy of obedience to their mother, love to their husbands, and of piety toward God, so that every one of them in particular are sensible of her death, before which also she expressed her love to them, in recommending them to her husband. A Governess of family] t Prov. 31. 27. 1 Tim. 5. 14. 1 Cor. 7. 34. that looked well to the ways of her house, and that chiefly out of conscience, often complaining that her household encumbrances required so many of her thoughts, and so much of her time; her delight was to abide at home, not spending her time on needless and complemental Titus 2. 5. 1 Tim. 5. 13. visits, or in going about from house to house, being modest and reserved; the most of her converse being with her relations, and some few friends; which made her liable to be censured by some as proud, and loving to keep at distance, from which she was free in a good measure. A Friend that w Pov. 18. 24. 17. 17. 1 Joh. 3. 18. stuck closer than a brother, that loved at all times, especially when most need of her help, that loved not in word and in tongue only, but in deed and in truth; a friend courteous, sincere, affable, grateful, intimate, and another Jonathan to a David in her life and death; and 1 Sam. 18. 1. therefore may her friend weep over her as David did for Jonathan, 2 Sam. 1. 25. Her holiness did appear In her x Phil. 2. 15. 1 Pet. 3. 4. 1 Tim. 2. 9, 10. Conversation] which was blameless and harmless, she being of a meek and quiet spirit, adorning herself as a woman professing godliness, not exceeding her husband's rank, and professing that if it had not been for her husband's credit, (men now adays being judged penurious if their Dames go not fine) she would not have put on some of her apparel; and was so far from y Jer. 2. 32. Isa. 3. 18, 19, &c. priding herself in her clothes, that she was often heard to say, What a burden and expense of time is this dressing and undressing? how hard is it to distinguish women professing godliness, from the profane, by their outward garb! The fault is acknowledged, but how few reform it? In her delight in the Word preached] for she had an high esteem of, and special love to Scriptural preaching, and to those Sermons which by clear, full and pertinent Scripture-light, not only moved her affections, (wherewith most women are satisfied) but solidly settled her judgement, increased her knowledge, and raised her soul. She heard with a z Acts 17. 11 16. 14. Luke 8. 15. Jam. 1. 23, 24, 25. Heb. 2. 1. Berean spirit, and Lydias heart; did faithfully retain, and promptly repeat what she thus heard, and conscionably practise what she thus embraced. Sometime she refrained from writing in the Church, that she might exercise her memory, and be the more affected with what she heard, which after she came home she committed to writing. In her great reverence and due respect to that great Ordinance of the Lord's Supper, through godly jealousy a 1 Cor. 11. 29. fearing to approach it, and solemnly preparing for it; and was hardly persuaded to go to it, the Sabbath day before she sickened, for fear lest her sorrow had indisposed, and made her actually for the present unfit to partake of it; and yet said she, Why should I not go and remember the death of the son of God, seeing I so sadly remember the death of my own son? and this it may be shall be the last I go to. And such was her esteem of this Ordinance, and such her tenderness of spirit, that it troubled her in her sickness that she had been prevailed with to receive, though at length by the discourse of a Reverend Divine she was satisfied; and this may be a warning to all rash intruder's on, and undue preparers for that Ordinance. In her care to sanctify the Lord's day, which she b Exod. 20. 8. Nehem. 12. 19 Isa. 56. 4, 5, 6. remembered the night before it came, and accordingly prepared for it; and when it came she sanctified it throughout; for besides public and family duties, she used to retire oftener that day than on any other day; sometimes neglecting to eat that she might gain the more time to be private, either repeating what she heard that day, or questioning with her son about what he had read and heard; choosing rather to keep silence at table, than speak what was not c Isa. 58. 13. suitable to the day; and did not curtilate the day by lying too long in the morning, or going too soon to bed at night; d Amos 8. 5. or being wearied with it. In the joy she took in spiritual conference, and the e Rom. 1. 11, 12 Col. 3. 16. communion of Saints; delighting to hear of the experiences of others, and f Psal. 66. 16. freely communicating her own to those in whom she confided, often g Acts 8. 34. asking direction how to read the Scripture with most advantage, and how to walk comfortably with God; often speaking of the love of God and Christ with tears in her eyes, and joy in her countenance; bewailing her not walking up to her knowledge, and the wandering of her thoughts in duty; talking with an holy disdain of the vanities of this life, and of the excellency of that to come; evidencing in her Christian conferences, knowledge of divine things in a Scritural strain, with holy affections. In her valuing much Christians h Rom. 15. 14. Gal. 6. 1. Gen. 4. 9 watching one over another, and therefore she could receive i Psal. 141. 5. Prov. 27. 6. Prov. 25. 12. 1 Sam. 25. 32, 33. an admonition (even for that in which she was most faulty, her distrustful fears and overmuch passion) with meekness, thankfulness and reformation, evident to beholders; and professed often that free and faithful admonition, was a most real k Rev. 3. 19 token and endearment of love: And she also manifested her love to others in this kind, yet with much wisdom, as suiting her words, and timing the admonition so, that the offender without shame hath known his fault, and admired her masculine prudence; and yet even in this she hath bewailed her sinful bashfulness, that when in the company of other Gentlewomen, she hath not had the confidence to interrupt their poor, low discourse, and bring in more profitable and edifying. And indeed women professing godliness should spend their time better when they meet, rather discoursing of Jesus Christ, and the Robe of his righteousness, than censuring, praising or dispraising such a person, or such a garb; and should study how to remedy their Read the conference betwixt Elizabeth and the Virgin Mary. Luke 1. own folly, than fo●lishly talk of the folly of others. And as thus she manifested her piety and walking with God in these public Ordinances, and private duties, so also in secret (where there is less temptation to hypocrisy) she kept up communion with God. In her Closet duties.] She was observed to be l Mat. 6. 6. Dan. 6. 10. Mark 1. 35. Acts 10. 9 Zach. 12. 12, 13 1 Cor. 7. 5. frequent (not satisfying herself with Morning and Evening) every day in her Closet, and hath professed that she found greatest satisfaction when most there; and therefore was thought to neglect that sometime, which busy m Luk. 10. 41, 42. housewives keep a stir about; her weeping red eyes have manifested her ardent holy prayers: n Ephes. 3. 14. she was careful to know to whom to direct her prayers, that she might not worship an unknown God; and after prayer she looked up for an answer, and with joy Psal. 5. 3. Psal. 34. 3, 4. hath taken special notice of the return of her prayers, looking on that duty not as a task, but as her privilege, and the way of keeping up intercourse with heaven: and so much and earnest was she in this duty, that she hath not huddled up or abbreviated her requests to God, upon the pretence of other businesses: Hence it was no small trouble to her in her sickness, (for the devil can molest us with small matters) that in her health, one day begging hard something from God, one knocking at her Closet door, she (to avoid ostentation, and supposing earnest business) broke off her discourse with the God of heaven, to speak with a fellow-creature; (for so she charged herself) How may this shame the short superficial prayers of many, who are glad of distractions to satisfy their consciences in dispensing with Closet-duties! And as she thus poured out her soul before God, so she greatly delighted to read search, understand and meditate on the holy Scriptures, in which (for a woman) she was mighty; for she daily read, them, could not endure to read and not understand, and therefore often o Acts 8. 28, 29, &c. propounded the difficult passages she understood not, and craved others judgements to assist her; not neglecting her own p Ps. 1. & 119. pondering and meditation, which she begun the last half year of her life to commit to writing, and which after much importunity she hath read to her husband and friend, to their great satisfaction; for therein she discovered her gifts and graces, knowledge and affection, excellent matter, handsomely composed, and all in Scripture-language, which being in shorthand writing can hardly be read, some of the Characters being of her own invention; but some of the Scriptures which were the subject of her meditation, are these, Psal. 73. 25, 26. Psal. 42. 11. Ephes. 5. 14. Heb. 9 27. Gal. 2. 20. Psal. 77. 3. James 4. 6. She hath also left in writing a collection out of the psalms. 1. Of the troubles inward and outward of the righteous. 2. Their good or bad deportment under them. 3. Their present support by faith and experience. 4. And the issue, and their happy deliverance out of them. She begun also to draw forth all the commendable virtues and noted vices of the women recorded in Scripture, that she might have the one for a pattern, the other for a beacon. Also she intended, and did begin to read over the whole Bible, that thence she might find some mitigation of her sorrow by collecting all the precedents and promises which were suitable to her condition; and sundry other Manuscripts she hath left, which could they be read, might be proposed as a spur to Gentlewomen, how to improve their much spare time. In her inward graces] For the King's daughter is chiefly Psal. 45. 13. Rom. 2, 28, 29 1 John 3. 9 Gal. 5. 22. glorious within. She had not only leaves and blossoms, but had the seed of God abiding in her, and was filled with the fruits of the Spirit. She had a godly fear and solicitude concerning the state of her soul, working out her salvation Acts 16. 30. Phil. 2. 12. with fear and trembling, and giving all diligence to make her calling and election sure. She was blessed with a large measure of spiritual knowledge of God and Christ, and the Covenant of grace, and had good insight in the ways of her own heart, and the vanity of the world. She had melting affections, sorrowing for sin, and that she was 2 Cor. 7. 10. not more heavenly and fruitful, fearing to sin against God, serving him with reverence and godly fear: had an Heb. 12. 28. intense and prevailing love to the Lord Jesus Christ, her heart leaping within her, to think on his love and undertaking, Luke 7. 47. and to speak of his praises; and of this love of God in Christ, (which is wonderful) she hath left a meditation, as by some words may be conjectured, but cannot all be read: And hence her love flowed out to the Saints, (those excellent in the earth, in whom was her delight) without respect Psal. 16. 3. 1 Tim. 5. 10. of persons, doing very mean offices to some of them: And of this love of the Saints, she hath left in Italian hand, this meditation following; This Christian and well-grounded love, as it is a fruit of the Spirtt, for love is of Gal. 5. 22. 1 John 4. 17. God; and as it proceeds from him, so is it enjoined by him; this is my Commandment that ye love one another; nay, he John 15. 12. styles it a new Commandment: It is not so much a Legal, as Evangelical Commandment, backed with a most transcendent John 13. 34. pattern, I have given you an example; and hereby perceive we John 13. 15. 1 John 4. 16. the love of God, that he laid down his life for us; yea, it bears the similitude of God, for God is love; and though its residence be in heaven, yet it hath an habitation in and with 1 John 4 8, 16 the sons of men; for he that dwells in love, dwells in God, and God in him; and when Christians walk in this praiseworthy Acts 2. 42, 46. Rom. 12. 9 1 Pet. 1. 22. Heb. 6. 10. Gal. 5. 13. Heb. 13. 1. 1 Pet. 3. 8. Philem. 9 Heb. 10. 24. 1 Cor. 13. 1 Pet. 4. 8. Phil, 2. 3. Gal. 5. 26. Palace, then do they behold most of God. This love than is sincere, fervent, pure, serviceable, constant; and under the mantle thereof lie, teaching, free admonition, meekness, kindness, faith, and with this garment a multitude of sins are covered. She had zeal for God, witness her not sparing her dear son, but reproving him for the least arising of the least evil in him; and hath been heard to say, that she would not care for the enjoyment of him, if she had not seen something of God, and a tender conscience in him. She was humble, though naturally of a high spirit; often concealed her parts, and preferred others in love, neither provoking Gal. 6 3. nor envying others, nor thinking herself to be something when she was nothing; and of this grace of humility, take this her own meditation written at large; Humility is a rare and singular grace, doth admirably adorn a Christian; 1 Pet. 3 4. Eccles. 8. 1. with Prov. 11. 2. 1 Pet▪ 5. 5. for if wisdom make the face to shine, then with the lowly there is wisdom; it is like the gold and enamel about the precious Diamond, sets it off with a magnificent lustre; it hath the promise of addition; an humble soul is an habitation for a holy God; and the Creator delights to dwell with the humble Isa. 57 15. Job 22. 29. Luke 23. 27. 14. 11. Prov. 29. 23. Prov. 16. 18. 15. 33. 18. 12. Psal. 10. 17. 9 12. 25. 9 Psal. 138. 6. 147. 6. Psal. 37. 11. Isa. 61. 1. Isa. 29. 19 Psal. 149. 4. 1 Pet. 5. 5. creature, and the Redeemer will save the humble person; for he humbled himself that sinners may be exalted; and if they humble themselves, he hath promised to exalt them; for honour shall uphold the humble in spirit; as pride is an harbinger to destruction, so humility is a conduct to honour; great are the incomes of an humble soul, riches, honour and life; and excellent their privileges; for the Lord hears the desire of the humble, and forgets not their cry; they shall be taught the way of God, and guided by him in judgement; for the Lord hath respect to the lowly, and he lifteth up the meek, and they shall inherit the earth; good tidings shall be preached to them, and they shall increase their joy among men; for the Lord will beautify them with salvation; therefore who would not be clothed with that shining garment of humility? According to the ability of a wife, she was not wanting in almsdeeds, * 2 Kings 4. 9, 10. prompting and encouraging her husband to lay out some of his Estate on pious uses, (especially since the death of her son) and persuading him not so much to look after an heir to keep up his name, as to do something Psal. 49. 11, 12. Job 29. 13. Luke 16. 9 that might cause the blessing of the poor to come upon him. She often professed that if she had more children, she would never be so saving and sparing to lay up for them, but would liberally do good; for God (said she) hath taught us the vanity of disquieting ourselves in laying up riches, now not Psal. 39 6. Eccles. 2. 18, 19 knowing whether he shall be a wise man or a fool that shall enjoy them. Let good women remember that all this is for their imitation. Now to proceed to the last thing in her life. Her behaviour under her late trial and affliction] Herod sharp trial and stinging affliction indeed, was the death of her only son, eighteen years old, who on the ninth of December last, after eight days' sickness died of the small pox; suddenly unlooked for by her, (being put in hopes by those who had more skill in that disease than herself, that there was no apparent danger) and she a spectator of the assaults of death. What Parent is not filled with sorrow for the loss of one son? even a Prince that prevailed with Hosea 12. 3. God, yet cannot overcome his sorrow, for the absence of one Joseph, though more than ten sons rose up to comfort Gen. 32. 28. with Gen. 37. 34, 35. him; did not Christ's bowels yearn toward that weeping mother who had lost her only child? Luke 7. 12. And doth not the Scripture hold it forth to be the greatest of sorrows, Jer. 6. 26. Amos 8. 10. Zech. 12. 10. if Naomi change her name into Marah, Ruth 1. 20. for such a loss; if that noble and good Shunamites soul be vexed in her, 2 Kings 4. 20, 27. for her lads death; and if Rachel weep for her children, and won't be comforted, because they are not, Matth. 2. 18. if a gallant King David lie in the dust for a newborn child, 2 Sam. 12. 16. and womanishly lament for his rebellious son, 2 Sam. 18. 33. What indulgence, pity and compassion must be showed to this Gentlewoman, who lost her child, her only child, her son, her only son, at such an age in such a way, the son of her vows, of her prayers, of her cares, the object of her love, her hope and expectation; a loving, obedient, industrious, ingenious, holy son; (as was in the w●rds of truth and soberness represented in his Funeral Sermon by the Reverend Mr. Clarke) not any more to converse with him in the Land of the living, or see his face any more; put but your soul in her soul's stead, (as she used to say) and then blame her if you can. This loss indeed struck her to the heart, so that she wanted tears to express her grief; and though her passion rose high, yet had she no such impatient expressions as even good men and women have let go from them; for these following were her sharpest, the day and night after her son's death; O is he gone! shall I see him no more! a pleasant child, O my son, my son, of whom I was not worthy, whom I have sinned away with my cares and fears! a bitter potion, a a bitter potion; but it's my God, my Father that hath done it! O what have I done that hath procured this? I must be some great sinner, (but here she stopped, when she remembered Dr. Spurstowe and Mr. Ash, who had lost their only sons) O God, tell me why thou hast thus smitten me? Could no other rod but this do me good? not my will, but thine be done, wise and just God? Would you have thought (said she to standers by) that I had loved a creature so much? I have had a deceitful heart, I am sure I did not love him better than Christ; for I have abhorred the least sin in him, and would not commit the least sin to have him alive again. Oh Let us in time improve one another's society; for here we have no abiding, Joh. 9..4. that I had been worthy to have known this his so sudden departure; how should I have conversed with him these months past; what spiritual and heavenly discourses should we have had: and how should I have ripened him for heaven! but now he is gone; and must it be so? O God make me submissive to thy will: O stubborn heart yield, yield, O God bring down this stubborn heart; pray tell me (said she to a friend) if I speak unadvisedly with my lips; my grief is great, Lord keep me from dishonouring him. And as thus she entertained the affliction at the first, so her heaviness till the seventeenth of January (the night of her sickness) was continual, seldom did abate, except when she had been at prayer alone, or reading the Scripture, or hearing some comforts administered to her, which in her judgement she closed with, but could not becalm her passions by them. Some Scriptures brought her ease by holding forth her condition, as psalms 38. 102. 77. 88 Job 1. 2. and 3. chapt. Job 6. 2, 3.- 7. 3, 4. Job 10. 15.- 19 21. The consideration of holy men, their sad afflictions, and distemper of spirit under them, did keep her from thinking too badly of herself. Other Scriptures quieted her spirit sometimes, as holding forth arguments for submission and patience, as Rom. 9 20. Job 11. 6, 7.- 12. 14.- 13. 15, 16.- 33. 13.- 34. 13, 14, 15, 29, 33. Psal. 46. 10. Dan. 4. 35. Psal. 55. 22. Nahum from ver. 1. to 10. Rom. 11. 34. Isa. 40. 13, 14. Matth. 26. 42. Jer. 44. 28. Lev. 26. 41, 42. Lam. 3. 29. 30. Jer. 18. 1,- 6. Job 23. 13.- 9 4.- 38. 2. Nehem. 9 33. Ezek. 18. 25. Exod. 3. 17. Judg. 10. 16. and these examples in Lev. 10. 3. 1 Sam. 3. 17. 2 Sam. 12. 26. Gen. 23. 2, 3. Isa. 39 7, 8. and other Scriptures diverted her thoughts for the time, as Col. 1. Heb. 12. John 13. 14. 15. 16. 17. chapt. 1 Pet. 1. Rom. 5. 1,- 12. Rom. 8. chap. Mat. 11. 25. to the end. Rev. 1. 4,- 9 the 2. and 3. chapters of the Revelations, and chap. 5. from 9 to the end; and chap. 7. from the 13. to the end; and the 22. 17, 20. 1 Joh. 1. & 2. And the History of Christ's passion recorded in the four Evangelists; (which also she usually read and meditated on before she went to the Sacrament) and truly, a lively discourse of Jesus Christ did more quiet her, than direct storming her passion; for than she could shed tears, and then she could chide herself for so much grieving for a creature, and then forbear to speak of her son: for either God or her son was the subject of her talk and thoughts. That wherein this holy woman failed, and for which her friends blamed her, (which may be a warning to Christian mothers) was, she did not speedily and cheerfully submit to the will of God, and acquiesce in his declared good pleasure; burr pored too much on her son's death, and the small circumstances thereof, imputing his death one while to this, another while to that omission, and so did create more trouble to herself, by putting her thoughts on the rack; and though in her judgement she condemned these her thoughts, and called them her burden, and wished to be gone from them; yet could she not withstand them: the subtle and cruel Adversary no doubt played his game by his injections and phantasms, which she suspected and bemoaned; and indeed otherwise such an understanding woman could not have been pestered with such petty trivial thoughts. She lost appetite to her food, and sleep departed from her eyes, and by day she neither could nor would use any diversions, and took but too little comfort in the mercies God had left her; was full of thoughts, and had few words, * Dr. Reynolds Treatise of the passions, chap. 22. of sorrow. Charron of wisdom chap. 31. of heaviness of heart. all which made way for her sickness and death, which was a malignant fever, and vapours of the mother, followed with convulsion fits: The last thing then to be spoken to, is, Her sickness and death; On the first assault of her sickness she apprehended death would follow, and that which she had more than once (too hastily) desired, would now in earnest make speed: Therefore her first and greatest care was (setting now aside all thoughts of her son; for God will whip his own out of their sins) to settle the affairs of her everlasting peace, and to secure all things twixt God and her soul: Her next work was to review her five weeks' carriage under her affliction, upon which she sorrowed most of all that she had not glorified God more in her suffering, that she, wearied of life, had been so thoughtful about her son's death, and that the consolations which were administered to her, had done her no more good, and that by neglect of her body and lawful diversions, she had made way for this her painful sickness: wherein she saw the vanity of her former anxiety concerning her son's death; for those medicines which (prudently) were omitted to him, were administered to herself; and did only help her to die the more sensibly, and with the more pain: she exhorted others to learn by her example, to beware of setting their hearts on any creature, and that they would strive to glorify God while they live, that they would redeem their time, and make their acquaintance and peace with God before they lie down on their deathbed. During her sickness, she had great bodily pain, (so that she seldom slept) and no small trouble of mind concerning her future estate, being assaulted in her weakness by that sly, roaring and cowardly devil, whom she overcame by the Lamb of God (in which expression she delighted) that taketh away the sins of the world; and though John 1. 29. she complained for want of assurance, and the comfort that doth attend it, yet she did receive, look to, embrace and John 1. 12. 3. 14. Heb. 11. 13. Heb. 6. 19, 20. Mat. 22. 37. Acts 11. 23. Luke 1. 75. Psal. 63. 3. Phil. 33. Heb. 2. 17. 1 John 3. 8. anchor her hope on Christ, and durst appeal from Satan unto God, that she had loved him with all her heart, and had endeavoured (through much weakness said she) to walk before him in righteousness and holiness, and that she had prized his favour before life, and would not adventure on the least sin for all imaginable contentment; she satisfied herself in the satisfaction of Christ, and in that he was a merciful and faithful high Priest, that came to destroy the works of the devil. And if in the height of her bodily distemper, (the vapours fuming up to her head) she spoke any thing amiss of herself (which is no * See Psal. 22. 38. 77. 88 Job. Isa. 49. 14. Mat. 27. 46. Perkins vol. 1. page 290. 491. 492. vol. 3. pag. 407. Greenham, page 9 81. Mrs. Bretterghs life, and her Funeral Sermons, in 8. Mr. Bolton's instructions for troubled consetences. p. 232. 236, &c. Dr. Spurstowe on the Promises, chap. 15. new thing, and its better to go out of the world, troubled, than lulled by Satan; in a holy solicitude, than in a carnal security) she afterward remembered and bemoaned it; and acknowledged that God was a holy and just sovereign, in letting her find he had sharper rods for his people than the death of a son, and that it is folly to stand it out against God. All Sabbath night she put away sleep, and prepared to launch into that boundless Ocean, eternity; and therefore proposed all her objections, fears and doubts, that she might have resolution; laid open the temptations of the devil, that she might know how to repel them; and freely confessed all her sins, (in some of which most live without taking much notice of them) which her tender conscience aggravated to the full; and when she could not remember any more, she begged a friend to help her in this her search, and when he could not, than she turned her speech to God, saying, O thou God search me, and try me, and let me not die in one unrepented for sin, let me not deceive myself, O gracious God what shall I do? I will anchor my faith on Jesus, who hath been favourable to others, and why not to me? She prayed earnestly for pardon of sin, and that she might have her soul for a prey: And of this she expressed her hope, hoping that she had all her hell in this life, (meaning that night's agony) and that notwithstanding all her fears, she should go to heaven, comforting herself in the remembrance of a most holy upright old Disciple, Mr. Trench. who had gone to heaven without assurance; (what a joy doth she now find in being delivered from all her fears, and how greatly doth it set off heaven, to travel to it through the Suburbs of hell!) and now all her doubts and temptations being answered, and she silenced, she did rest all Monday satisfied in great calmness of mind, giving directions concerning her body after death, and other affairs, and was not heard after that night's conflict, to speak doubtfully or fearfully of her eternal salvation. About seven of the clock at night, finding her convulsion fit to seize on her, she desired one to pray with her, and after being asked if she heard, and had joined in spirit? answered yea; And I thank God I have delighted in prayer. One desiring her to speak something of Jesus Christ, she knowingly and affectionately spoke of his natures and offices; and afterward taking a draught of cordial jullep, she paused, and shut her eyes, (as she was wont to do) to beg a blessing on it, and being asked her thoughts, answered feelingly, giving thanks unto the Father who hath made Col. 1. 12. us meet to be partakers of the inheritance of the Saints in light. And so the convulsion fit increasing, and the pangs of death catching hold of her, and she talking a little of her dear son and husband, betwixt one and two of the clock became speechless, and than one asking her whether her thoughts were not now on God and Christ, she lifted up her eyes and hands, and offered to speak, but could not, and so slept quietly in the Lord, the first of February, 1658/9. and the thirty sixth year of her age; the seventh week after her son's death, and was with honour laid in the same grave with him: Mr. Ley preaching her Funeral Sermon. And thus this true relation is left to the application of every tender-hearted mother, and wise woman. May it prove serviceable to those ends, for which this precious Gentlewoman only desired life, even to publish the Sovereignty, wisdom, Equity, Power and Love of her God: Who though when she died, desired that nothing might be spoken at her Funeral, (such was her self-denial) and though now she be incessantly night and day praising, adoring, and admiring God without imperfection; yet if she have any leisure to look off Jesus Christ, and have any knowledge of what is done here below; it will satisfy her greatly that God is glorified by her memory on earth, in stirring up women to imitate what was praiseworthy in her, and in warning them to moderate their love, fear and sorrow, and to pitch their affections on never fading objects. He that testifieth these things, knoweth that he saith true, and would not willingly (through grace) make a lie, to uphold the reputation, or preserve the lives of the best, and most deserving women in the world. On her tombstone. Enclosed here, in love do lie together; BENONI, MARAH; th' only son and mother: Gen. 35. 18. Ruth 1. 20, 21. 2 Sam. 1. 23. Who in their lives, lovely and pleasant were; In death and grave they undivided are. ERRATA. Page 2. marg. for institutionae and institutione. for Bezerliuck. r. Beyerlinck. Mr. Clarke's Sermon at the Funeral of the only son of this Gentlewoman, (wherein is a short Narrative of his life) is sold by George Calvert at the halfmoon in Paul's churchyard, near the little North-door. FINIS.