The LIFE and DEATH of Sheffery Morgan, Son of Shone ap Morgan:  
ID  
Printed for J. Deacon at the Angel in Guilispur-street, near Newgate.   

The LIFE and DEATH of Sheffery ap Morgan.  

CHAP. I Of Sheffery's Birth and Education.  
THE Person we intent to insist upon in this following Discourse; is one Sheffery Morgan, who was born near Denby, a place eminently known in Wales: His Father being a Man of no small account, kept two or three Hogs, & Brewed week for week the year round, half a peck of Malt: her being a Man so well to pass in the world, resolved to bring up her Son Sheffery Scholarlike; and in order thereunto put him to the greatest School in those parts, where he improved his time so well, that in six or seven years, he was able to Spell his own Name with a small matter of help. But not long after, her fond Father supposed her fir for the University, and disposed of her accordingly; but Sheffery grew negligent, unknown to her Father, and minded more her Waggish Pastimes than her serious Study; and her Father supposing her to be capable to manage a Parson's place, took a Fatherly care of her, and went to the Bishop of that Diocese, making suit for a Benefice for her, which was granted, provided that her should Preach a Sermon of Approbation. Old Shone ap Morgan being joyful of this answer from the Bishop, written Post to her Son Sheffery, wishing her with all speed to come, for her was likely to become a Welsh Parson, and have a Benefice of 40 l. per Annum. These good Tidings so tickled the ear of our young Parson, that her amitted no opportunity, but took Horse and rid full speed to her Father's House in Wales, who told her all the matter in hand; but when her herd that her was to Preach before her could have her Money, her knew not what to think on't.  
The day appointed drawing nigh when Sheffery was to Preach, being sensible of her inability, he knew n●t what course to take, or how her should perform the Task imposed upon her; sometimes her thought to fly from the presence of the Bishop and her Father both, and then contradicted that thought with this resolution, That if he could not do as well as he should, that he would do as well as he could; So the day being come, Sheffery lay somewhat long a Bed, and seemed to have small stomach to his new Concern; which her Father perceiving, stepped up to give her a call, telling her the Saints Bell had rung in: O Father, said her. I am in a brown Study, look Father upon the top of Mr. Quibus his House, and behold a Cow-Tuts that lies there; and I have been studying how to might be; whether the top of; the House came down to the Cow, or whether the Cow went up to the top of the House! O fie Son, this is idle Discouse, come make haste, for it draws near ten a Clock, the Bishop and the people begin to think you long. Well, Father, I have but a short Sermon to make, but it is such a Tickler as has not been Preached at your Church since you came to the Parish. Well, Son, I shall leave that to your judgement. Sheffery no sooner enters the Church, but he steps into the Pulpit, and gins as followeth.  
Good People all, her knows there is something expected from her by way of Discourse, and seeing we are all met together, take this following matter as an undeniable Truth.  
There are some Things that I know and you know not; and there are some Things that you know, and I know not; and there are some Things that neither I nor you know.  
For thus; As I went over a Style I tore my Breeches, that I know, and you know not; but what you will give me towards the mending of them, that you know, and I know not; but what the Knave the Tailor will have for mending them, that neither you nor I know.  
The Bishop hearing such a strange Welsh discourse delivered as a Sermon, fell into such a laughter, that he laughed himself into a Looseness, that he was forced to carry his Arse under his Arm ever; after and Old Shone ap Morgan fell into such a passion, that her solemnly protested, her would Disinherit her Son Sheffery.   

CHAP. II. How Sheffery Morgan Traveled from her Father's House towards London, and how he fell in Company with two of his Countrymen, who were driving a Drove of Welsh  to Smithfield; and what fell out in the sharing of their Money.  
SHeffery Traveled the Road, having but a small Sum of Money in his Purse, fell into serious Cogitations, sometimes calling to mind the pleasant pastimes he met with when he was at the University; and then thinking on his present misery, that those vain pleasures had brought him to: And while he remained in this disconsolate humour, two of his Countrymen overtook him with a great Drove of Welsh ; to whom he said, Whether are you going; who answered We are Drovers going to Smithfield-Market, but we greatly want one to help us, than Sheffery asked them what they were to have for their pains? who answered a Shilling: he concluding that he was going to the same City, thought something better than nothing, so he joined with them, and as they Traveled hard, at last they came to Smithfield, where the owner gave them a whole Shilling; then was their care how to part this one piece equally amongst them three: Sheffery being ingenious, said, We'll go shange it for three Groats, to which they consented, so going from street to street, at last they came to Lombardstreet, where Sheffery spied a Trey full of Groats, and tried, here her shall do it if ever: The Gentleman of the shop being at dinner, the Hatch was shut, and no body in the shop but an old jackanapes, chained upon the Counter; Sheffery leaning over the Hatch, said, Good Sir, will you give me three Groats for a Shilling? & held the shilling forth, which the jackanapes took, and put it down into the place, where he used to see his Master; put money, and minding Sheffery no more but her was very urgent with the jackanapes for her shange, and said, Good Sir, what does her intent to do? will her give her three groats for her shilling or no? her the jackanapes not minding, stirred up her Welsh blood, scaring that the Old Gentleman was minded to sheet them, which caused to make a great Crowd about the door, so that the Gentleman of the House heard them, and coming into the Shop to see what was the matter, began to be rough with them, doubting they intended to rob his Shop, but they tried out, they were poor Welshmen, that thought no hurt, but desired to have three Groars for a Shilling: The Gentleman finding them to be poor ignorant Fellows, asked them for their shilling; they replied they had given it to her aged Father (pointing to the jackanapes) The Gentleman in great wrath, cry doubt, You Uillains, do you think I am the Son of a jackanapes? and threatened to set them by the Heels; but discovering their simplicity, asked them what the jackanapes did with it? quoth they, he put it into that Hole: so he supposed it might be, gave them 3 Groats, bidding them be gone; so away they went, Sheffery's Countrymen to their places provided for them, but Sheffery had his Fortune to seek.   

CHAP. II. How Sheffery being weary of London, and short of Money, took a Journey toward the North; and how he got the good Will of a Sow, which proved the first rise of Sheffery's Fortune.  
SHeffery being forsaken of her Country men, & almost moneyless, wandered too and fro feasting her Eyes, but starving her Belly, resolved to travel farther towards the North: her had not gone above 20 miles, but her was surprised by the dismol Night, and being unacquainted with the way, lost her self, and wandered up and down, till at last her happened upon a small Cotrage, and knocking at the door, he asked how for it might be to the next Town? the Old Man answered, he was far from any Town or House except his: then Sheffery craved for Entertainment for that night; but the old man replied, he had no convenience, but her pressed hard for Lodging; so the did man said, I have no place for you, except you will lie with our old Sow; with all her heart, quoth Sheffery. This being agreed on, they went to their Bed, and Sheffery to the Hogsty, which joined to the House, near the Did Man and Wontans' Beds-head: Sheffery having but a sorry Lodging and a turbulent Bedfellow, took no rest at all: the old man and woman waking about midnight, fell in discourse, quoth the old Woman, Husband, what if the young man should fall in love with our Sow, and forthwith get her goodwill to be Married? Who, quoth the old Man, should be against her Preferment, if they like each other? Ah! but Husband, she hath been a good Old Servant to us, and if ever she goes, I hope you will bestow something with her: Well, well, Wife, I shan't be backward, but ten or twenty pound I will bestow if the Man be deserving. Sheffery minding their Discourse, arost and went into a Carrot field near by, and pulled some up, and brought them to the Sow, giving her plentifully to eat, than tied the rest about his middle, underneath his Coat: & going into the house to return thanks for his night's Lodging, the Sow having tasted the sweetness of the Carrats, caned as though she would have torn down the Sty, longing for more Carrots, the old Woman hearing the Sow to rave, cried out to her Husband, What is the matter with our Sow? Quoth Sheffery, her can tell best what is the matter; for her and I have made a match to be Married, and now she finding me to be gone without her, causeth her to rave in this sort: The old Woman runs with speed to her. Husband, and said, Cur's hobby Husband, I told you our Sow is in Love with the Young Man. Ah! but quoth he, that must be farther tried, i'll see first whether she will follow him sooner than another; and setting her out, she ran directly at him, and taking hold on him, as if she l●ved him above others; the Did Man seeing this, was much satisfied, and called Sheffery in, and laid him down 20 pound, wishing them much joy together: This being done, Sheffery took her leave of the old people and went her way, by the smell of the Carrots the Sow followed him, which the old Woman spying, she cried out, Come hither Mistress Bride, pray stay and take my best hat with you, which she did, and looked like Mother Shtpion with her long Nose.   

CHAP. IU. How Sheffery was rob of her 20 pound, and how her served the Thief that robbed her.  
SHeffery wand'ring farther, came into an uncouth Lane, and there met with a High-way-man, well mounted and armed, who fastening his eyes upon Sheffery, supposed there was money in the case, and welcomed her with the usual word Stand: Sheffery finding it was in vain to dispute, soon yielded up his Purse, the only thing the Thief-desired, and setting spurs to his Horse, away he rid full speed, leaving Sheffery much lighter than he found him: Sheffery much troubled, went on with a light purse, but a heavy heart, and that night wanting money, Lodged in a Barn: Not long after, Sheffery sitting on the brink of a drawing Well, near the Highway side, distant from any House; and troubling at the crosses which happened to him, fell into a passion, and whilst he was in this Agony, he which rob him, happened to came by, Sheffery minding him, knew him tho' he knew not Sheffery, but asked him what was the cause of his sorrow? who answered, that he had let a bag of Money fall into the Well. At this the Thief seemed forrowful, & said, he would pull off his  and you shall let me down into the Well, & when I have found the Money. I'll call you to pull me up again: Sheffery was well pleased at this, so off comes the Chiefs apparel, and into the Bucket he gets, while Sheffery was very ready to set him down; which done, her seeing the Road clear, and the Thief safe where be could not come out without help, now is the time, thought Sheffery, to deceive the deceiver; so pulling off his old Jerkin, by reason he could not describe him by his Apparel, throws it down into the Well, then mounted his Horse and rid full speed night and day, till he and the Well were 60 miles asunder; and then adventured to open his Portmantle, where he found 300 pound of money, his own 20 pound being part thereof; where we will now leave him and discourse something of the Thief which Sheffery left to search for that Money in the Well which never was there. The Chief finding himself thus deceived and so trepanned, that he could no ways help himself, was forced to continue in the Bucket, to safe his sweet Life; and at last an Old Woman coming from the next Town to draw Water; as she was winding up, seeing such a strange Beast in the Bucket, was shrewdly affrighted, for he stared like a dead Pig on a Market-woman's Stall; the Woman being half dead with fear, in a little time recovered her senses, and made shift to get to the Town, where she declared how she was frighted at the Well; they asked what it might be; who replied, she dared not to stay to look on't, but without doubt it must be the Devil, and therefore let us all go forth with what Weapons we can get, and destroy him, who would deprive us of the Privilege of the Well, and hath taken possession of the Bucket: so the rest of the old Women and Men resolved to fight for their Privilege, and armed themselves with such Weapons as they could get, the Men with Pirch-Forks and Clubs, and such like, the Women with Distaffs, and swore by their Maidenheads, he should never escape their fury, so they drew themselves up into a Body, and made Old Stump the Tooth-Drawer, their Captain, and the Gid Woman that brought the tidings, his Second: along they married till they came to the Well, then setting themselves in order to oppose him, when he should come out; none so valiant as Old Stump, who went up to the Well to beat him out of his Harbour, where he found him fitting in the Bucket, as the Did Woman had told before; and darwing of him out of the Well, he was so amazed to see so many old Men and women, insomuch that he strove to run for his Life, but they so pursued him, and so laid on, that they soon ended his days, and gave a great shout, for joy that they had killed the Devil.  
Now let us return to Sheffery Morgan, where we left him, taking an account of the Money he found in the Chiefs Portmantle, who beholding this great sum of Money, resolved if he could to raise his Fortune, and get him a handsome young Woman to his Wife, to the end that he might reap the full enjoyment of his Youth, so he took up his Lodging at the sign of the Unicorn, where he had not long lain, but he walked forth one day to recreate himself in the Fields, where by mere accident, he lit of a young Gentleman, whose Name was Pantillo, who had formerly been Fellow-Student with him at Cambridge, and wondering to meet Sheffery in those parts, asked him where he lived? he told him that he Lodged at the White-Horse with the Barbers-Pole in his Forehead, here in this Town. Quoth Pantillo, I live about Ten Miles hence, and came hither about Business, and I should be glad to Drink one Cup of this Country Liquor with you: with all my heart, quoth Sheffery, and we'll go to my Lodging: So on they went until they came to the Sign of the Unicorn, where they Housed, and Pantillo Laughed hearty at the New-Fashioned Horse: But as they were Discoursing together, Sheffery unfolded the secrets of keepers in the Country gives such a Crack, which makes such a sound in the Londoners ears, that they are the worse for it a great while afterwards.  Cons. 
Honest Plaindealing, I am willing to take thy advice, and see the Country once more: and now every thing is so plentiful, we will see what entertainment thee and I shall have, I'll stay Bartholomew-Fair at London, and thou to Sturbridge, and so to Yorkshire, for there I had used to be much regarded among them.  
Good Ale is the dearest pennyworth there; for Victuals will cost you little or nothing if you be a Good fellow.  
But honest Brother, prithee let me give thee some instructions in your travel: and I would desire some of yours, for where you are, bid them remember me.  Plain. 
Well I will, and now tell me what I shall do; for Plaindealing must be ruled by Conscience, and Conscience by Plaindealing: for he that useth one, must use the other.  Cons. 
First bid the Shopkeepers and Sales-men there provide them light Shops and not dark Rooms, whereby to deceive their Customers, to make them to take old  instead of new, and course  instead of fine. And bid the whole sail-men sell good pennyworths to their Customers.  
And when they trust them not to take too much gains.  
For fear they get nought but Ink and Paper for their pains.  
And pray bid all Tradesmen here, have a care of lying, for it may be they dare not Swear for fear they are made to pay for't; and bid their Customers not believe them, when they say they lose by their Commodities, or get nothing by them, for such as those will cheat them most; and pray invite all the honest Horse-coursers in every Fair you come to (that make much of Conscience and Plaindealing, and never use Swearing nor lying) bid them to Dinner, but to be sure do not provide too much Victuals, for fear your company be so small, that you must be glad to eat it yourself: and bid the Bakers remember me, and tell them you are a friend of mine, and must take notice of such as love not Conscience and Plaindealing, bid them all remember thee & I; and tell them the Fair would be a great deal the better (and all fairs and Markets else) if they would make use of Conscience and Plaindealing in their buying and selling, and not use false Weights and Measures, and deceitfulness in their Trading; for light gains, and quick sale, will make a heavy purse.  Plain. 
Well Brother Conscience, I intent to follow thy directions; & prithee where thou goest bid them remember me: and let not Shopkeepers and Trades men use double-dealing so much as they do, nor keep but one sort of Weights and Measures to Buy and Sell by; and let them turn out Hypocrisy out of their Shops, for a great many keeps him to be the Foreman of the Shop instead of Conscience, and so have deceived the people; But I hope we shall discover them all, for the people begin to find them out already: For indeed, and Forsooth, and intruth they have cheated many an honest man: Not an Oath but as many Lies as you please: I advise all to have a care of them, and not deal with any, if you know them to be such: For he that will Swear, will Lie, and he that will Lie would Swear too, if it were not in hopes to cozen you the more by his smooth Tongue.  
Pray remember me to all the honest Inns and Alehouses in your Travels that useth Conscience and Plaindealing to their Guests, and tell them they will be ne'er the poorer for entertaining Conscience. Indeed in the North-parts, and especially in Yorkshire, they did use some Conscience formerly, therefore I hope you will find some entertainment there.  
Remember me to all our Friends at Shefield, and bid the Cutlers there not Glate their Knives so much as they do, nor Bromigom neither, for they leave so little Steel on them, that when they are used a while, the heat of the Meat melts all the Steel away: There is a place called Cuckolds-Haven near Shefield, where I heard the Host of the house formerly deal so much with that Ware, and had so much Credit of his Dealers in Shefield, sore against their Wills, he hath now built him this place called Cuckolds-Haven; which by report cost his dealers three hundred pounds the Building; but good Brother Conscience come not there: for he'll turn you out of doors; for by report he never knew you in his life, and he cares not for strangers.  
'Tis the trick of a Knave, you'll say 'tis pity.  
Knaves should flourish so in Town and City.  
Pray Brother Conscience bid the Clothiers in Yorkshire to bring as much Cloth as they can in the Summer, while the weather is dry, but let them give good measure when they sell it, and persuade the People that buys it, to take enough, for fear they should find none to match it when 'tis shrunk.  
And pray advise all countrymen and Women that comes to Markets and Fairs, to have a care how that they part from their Money; and let them not part from it to them that will take it at a venture, and never tell it, for than they will have nothing for it, but trouble to find it again.  
And pray let all Countrymen, and others, when they are merry, and in drink, have a care of Gaming, for fear they meet with a dish of Rooks that will be saucy, they will not be able to digest them in a good while after.  
And I would advise Youngmen to have a care of their Pockets, and Maids have a care of their Plackets, for when the drink is in, the wit is out; for both many have sour Sauce to their sweet meat; if they have not a care.  
And in the next place I advise all, let them be rich or Poor, Old or Young, to hate Swearing and Lying, Cozening and Cheating, Quarrelling and Fight, do as they would be done by, keep a good Conscience, and love plaindealing.  
Let a Man be Honest, Just, and Fair,  
Than what he goes he need not care.  
So once more we are resolved to see;  
Where Conscience and Plaindealing best entertained may be.  
And when we have gone our Circuit round.  
We'll tell you where Conscience and Plaindealing may be found.  
So farewell till we do meet again.  
For Conscience and Plaindealing, 'mongst some doth still remain.    

The Author's Advice.  
Well, Honest Men and women either in Country or City, let me like a friend, advise you to take notice of what you have heard in this Book, and be not angry if Conscience and Plaindealing hath told you of some of your Faults; if you are wise you will seek to amend them, and not like a gauled Horse kick and wince when you are rubbed: And though it be a Proverb amongst many, that Conscience is Hanged, & he that loveth Plaindealing.  
You tell those knaves where you do them see,  
That Conscience is not hanged, though lost with them he be:  
And though Plaindealing dies a Beggar, as some say,  
He gains at last, though here he lose the day.  
Some grows Rich, and some grows poor,  
Some gets houses some turned out of door:  
Some gets by swearing, cheating, and lying,  
And some gets estates without any buying,  
But he that loves Conscience and Plaindealing too.  
To live in these times he'll have much ado.  
So far you well, my name gins with C.  
A friend to Conscience and Plaindealing wheresoever they be.  
FINIS.   

Licenced and Entered according to Order.