THE LAST WILL AND TESTAMENT Of Tom Fairfax, and the Army under his Command: Who now lie about Colchester, in a very sick and weak estate, past hope of life, and given up for dead, by their sworn Doctors, the Earl of Norwich, the LORD Capell, and Sir CHARLES LUCAS.  
Published by the command of the aforesaid DOCTORS.  

In a most sick and weak estate,  
Tom and his Army lie:  
But 'tis a strong and Powerful Fate,  
That Votes their misery.   

Had they but so much light to see,  
A● Cromwel's snout affords:  
They would repent, and converts be:  
Use prayers, and not swords.   

The Gout is grown so virulent,  
In Fairfax pocky too:  
he'll serve the thing called Parliament,  
A nation to undo●.   

But he decreaseth in his strength,  
The Saints do moulder still:  
I sluggard, but Resolved at length,  
To write, and print, their will,   
July .9th. Printed in the year 1648.   

THE LAST WILL AND TESTAMENT Of Tom Fairfax, and the Army under his Command.  
IN the name of Rebellion, Blood, Fury, and Horror, I Thomas Fairfax, General of the Army, now lying near Colchester, raised for the Destruction of his Majesty's Person, the known Laws of the Land, the Liberty of the Subject, and the privilege of Parliaments, being at this time in a very sick and weak estate, of a Disease called the Gout, which some call Scabiae Franciae, others Morbus Gallicus, and some Mechanics the French Pocks, but especially of the Disease called the General Revolt of the People from the Traeytors at Westminster, and for that the Earl of Norwich, the Lord Capell, and Sir Charles Lucas, my sworn Doctors, have given out that I must not live long, being gone past hope of recovery, I therefore hold it expedient to make this my last Will and Testament, in manner and form following:  
Jmprimis. I give and bequeath my body to some dunghill, or to the City Common shore, that my name (if it were possible) might perish from the earth, and my infamy, cease among men, my Soul I give to be disposed of at the pleasures of that once glorious Angel, now the King of Gehenna, who fell from heaven like lightning▪ the sole Patron of me and my Faction, Lucifer, well knowing that by him, I shall be courteously entreated, and that he will remember our former friendship, so that where others are washed over head and ears in gulfs of liquid fire, I shall but Tantalise in ye, and exchange the Torrid, for the Frozen Zone.  

As in the world there are degrees of Evils,  
So in the next, there are degrees of Devils:  
Give me thy Purgatory Lucian, I,  
Should then esteem it, but a jest to Die:  
To see great Alexander cobbling shoes,  
Charlemagne cell blacking, Caesar pulling crows,  
Tamburlaine practising the Tailor's art,  
And Pepin, selling apples in a cart:  
Drawn by one horse some such inferior place,  
I hope of Pluto to obtain the grace.   
Item, I give and bequeath my Commission (since I believe the Saints under my command must needs have one of eminent baseness, and known wickedness to go in and out before them) to my dear brother the Earl of Denbigh, whom I know to be a man sufficiently qualified for the work, whose very breath is as contagious as the Pestilence, who with the toad sucks poison out of the most clearest fountains, and whose face is as ominous as a Basalisks, whose heart continually grates itself it with envy, and fights with his gall for mastery, which is the reason of that roade-poole settled in his face, he is the man whom I appoint the Champion of Israel after my disease, to fight the battles of the Lord.  
Jtem, I give and bequeath my perjury, and treacheries, when I delivered the King my master into the hands of Whaley, at Hampton court, and permitted Cromwell▪ by a wile to be guilty of his own ruin, by flying to the Isle of Wight, notwithstanding I and Nell had solemnly sworn to him at New-market, and at St. Alban's that we will procrue a present Personal Treaty, and restore him to his lost greatness, I say I bequeath that my perjury, and disloyalty to the peculiar use of the crew at Westminster, whom verily I now hate, for that they suffer me to lie here, where I am each day buffeted by perpetual sallies, my army each day wasted, and those that survive being in dread of Sir Marmaduke Langdales' approach upon their backs, and so to be pounded to their destruction, and yet they send me no supplies (it seems they are busy in packing up their goods for their journey) either of men or money, wishing them to add it to all their former perjuries and Treacheries, for I'll assure them, that the Projection of me, and Cromwell for the cleanly conveyance of his Majesty's Person into the Isle of Wight, may stand upon record for the most pernicious fallacy that ever hold instruments invented, and that cursed Plot, if well husbanded, may procreate a thousand more, as pernicious as that hath proved, and as equally dangerous.  
Item, I give and bequeath, six pounds per annum to be paid out of Delinquents estates not yet discovered, to lack Hall, (the may-game of Cambridge) who each week proclaims himself in a sheet of nonsense, blasphemy, and treason, by the name of the the quondam Libeler Britain●cu●, which annuity I bestow on him to quit his charges for pen, ink, and paper: for his maintenance I leave that to Lily and Booker the infortunates of the State, whose, hireling he is, and who allow him money, for tobacco and beere-besides a sundays dinnir, of beef and pudding, to rail against Elenctichus, and the Scots.  
Item, I give and bequeath the sum of one hundred pounds, to be paid out of mine own estate, to Mr. Martial that Geneva bull as a gratuity for his pains, when he shall preach my funeral sermon, which I would have him prate, in S. Margarits church Westminster, his auditory I would have to be these whom I nominate, Imprimis. Harry Martin, Mr. Weaver, and Mr. Scot: of committee men, Corbet the swarthy, and Challenor the wall-eyd▪ of citizens, Warner the Mayor, and Atkins the Alderman, of the Army, Ireton the Anabaptist, and Rainsborow the leveller, of the Lords Say the sychophant, and Manchester the man-cater: his text I would have to be, even where himself listeth, for the truth is, I am not so well read in holy scripture, as to remember any place pertinent to the purpose, his Sermon finished, let my body be decently wound up, in the Ordinance of Indemnity, (for perchance it may purchase me some favour amongst my fellow-furies in hell, though (should I live) it could not mitigate my censure and punishment on earth, that done my body to born with all solemnity, and cast into the open fields, for the fowls of the air to feast upon me (if perhaps they fly me not for the sourness of my flesh,) and for that I am like to have no tomb, I desire that this Epitaph may be entered into the journal book of the crew at Westminster, but withal I leave it to the discretion of Britannicus, to frame another more plausible if he find occasion.  

Epitaph▪  
Blessed Tom Fairfax, he who led a rout,  
Of seeming Saints, though halting with the gout:  
Is dead, but woe to us, he so should fall,  
We not provided of a General:  
He marched about, and led the Babes of Grace,  
To plunder, and to ravish, in each place:  
And sound not stop his passage to deter,  
Until his Lameship came to Colchester;  
There, oh that fatal place, his Saints and he,  
Did sinned the worst of Wars extremity:  
Hundreds of them, were blown up into the air;  
As many without arms, died in Dispair.  
This broke his Gow●ships heart, he's g●nzhes gone,  
And the rest running to perdition.   
The last will and Testament of the Army.  
●N the ●●me of mischief, murder, massacres, and Ruin, Amen. We who term ourselves an Army of Saints, commonly known by the name of murderers, plunderers, Blasphemers, Atheists, and out-throates, now lying before the Town of Colchester, where we are continually kept waking with loud allar●●s, and hundreds of us each day out off by furious Sallies, being in a very sick and weak estate, and certainly assured that we cannot be long mortal, do make this our last Will and Testament, in manner and form following:  
Imprimis. We give our bodies, to be devoured by crows, pies, ravens', and shrich-owles, and the other animals of the air, so soon as ever our Souls shall be sent packing by the swords of the Earl of Norwich, the Lord Capell, Sir Charles Lueas, Sir Marmaduke Langdale, and the rest of the eminent Royalists, and their adherents, now in arms against us.  
Jtem. We give and bequeath all our plunders▪ rapines, cruelties, and abominations which we have practised this seven years, to Scot, Manchester, Say, Warner, Wild▪ Rolls, and the rest at Westminster, and the city of London, who rule the roost, wishing we could make them full Executioners to all our Sins, not doubting but they will improve our aforesaid legacies to the best advantage ye●, till they shall be pulled out of their house at Westminster, and all they at G●●ld. Hall shall be whipped about the City.  
Item. We give and bequeath, all our Schisms, Factions, outrages, disturbances, tumults, contentions, to the Sectaries in, and abo●● the City of London, to be equally distributed amongst them the 22 of September next ensuing when they shall meet together at the Spittle, to take their farewell of Tub-L●ctures, to the end, they may be so well seasoned with seditious principles, that they may on all occasions be prompt and ready to cause new combustions, to give occasion of new jealousies, and to set on foot new distempers, when we shall be quite forgotten, save to our Infamy.  
Item. We give and bequeath, unto our venerable Apostle, Hugh Peter, all those gifts of the Spirit, (which the malignant's term) of deulsion, with which enabled we that are foot-soldiers and troopers have often with our zealous Oratory frighted the jack Dawes, of from Country Steeples, and have led the high-shoes▪ and ba●on mouths, by the nose to their ruin, and this boon we are the rather incited to bestow upon him for that he the said Hugh Peter, hath of late days absconded himself from us, and hath taken up his quarters with the cutlers-wife, at— having deserted his Apostolical function, we mean not his player's guyze (which i● the reason that ever since he hath been a minister, he acts a sermon so ridicously in the pulpit, to the incredible mirth of his Auditory, but mean his faculty of prating and confounding Scripture all which his Errors, we are confident will soon leave him, when our spirit shall take up hillet in his breast, also we bestow upon him, all the riches which we shall leave sowed up in our doublets when we leave the world (if he have such good fortune to attain it) which we do hereby charge him to lay out upon good wine, and handsome whores, for we know, when he leaves such recreation our cause perisheth with him.  
Item. We give and bequeath all our false eaths our breach of covenant, and our frequent protestations to act nothing that might tend to his Majesty's dishonour, the ruin of his Person, or to the diminishing of his just Power and greatness, with which plausible pretences (we once deluded the people) to the States at Westminster.  

It is by them that we are so accursed,  
By them we were deluded at the first:  
They were the Devils, that began the broil,  
And we have been their hackneiss, all our toil,  
Hath been their greatness, for to propagate,  
And late, we brought them near unto a State▪  
But like to Sailors, see the Port, and die,  
They look upon their wish, and fell from high.   
Willing and desiring our said executors, (if at least we may term them so) to improve our impieties aforesaid to the utmost that so (if it be possible) they may yet hold up a twelve month longer, and under a pretence of treating with his Majesty, get time to strengthen themselves, or if that fail, to make up their farthels for New-England.  
All these out Leganles being duly distributed, according to our aforesaid wish, we will, that Mr. del that Gospel's Reformer, in whose esteem his Majesty is a dead dog, do preach our funeral in the fields, where we desire that all the whole rabble of Sectaries whether Presbyters, Independents, seekers, Anabaptists, Apostoliks', Anti-trinitarians, Familists, Antiscripturians, or Adamites, Shakers', Brownists, Barrowists, Erastians', Nicholaitans, Antinomians, Armi●ians, and the whole swarms of Hornets, will be present, and the sermon being finished, to lift up their voices, with outrageous shrieks, and horrid gro●●●s, such as may fright nature into a Chaos, and for that we doubt not but Mr. del will take great pains, in sweeting out his sermon, we will that he in recompense thereof shall have liberty to print h●● sermon, and to take money for the co●●●●… of whatsoever Book seller he can get it, we could wish the dan●●…●…at Knave, Greek, who keeps shop in fleetstreet, had the displing of it, & so de●i●ing one long ●ard brethren, to take warning by our example, we bid them, farewel, assuring them, that we will not sail to make known to their friends in the lower world t●is present estate.  
FINIS.