TRUE NEWS FROM NORWICH: Being a certain Relation how that the Cathedral Blades of Norwich (on the 22. of February 1641. being Shrove tuesday, did put themselves into a posture of defence, because that the Apprentices of Norwich (as they imagined) would have pulled down their Organs. In which Relation the foolishness of these Cathedral men are to be understood, and deserve to be laughed at for this their silly enterprise; there being no such cause to move them thereunto. Written by T. L. LONDON, Printed for Benjamin Allen, and I. B. 1641 To the kind Reader. Courteous Reader, I Was loath for to divulge this Relation, but that I had two enforcements to excite me thereunto. The first reason was the truth of it, therefore I neither desire, nor deserve to be accounted with the lying libelling Pamphliters; because of the truth of this Relation, I expect not to be thought a liar; and this was one reason that did move me thereunto to publish this paper to the public view of this censuring age. I put it forth to declare to the world the silliness of these Cathedral Blades: It is a sign that they have no law for the maintenance of their Pipes, that are so afraid of the pulling of them down by Boys; if they had law for the maintenance of the, they would by that law cause the offenders to be punished, but they cannot punish the offenders, because they have no law for the upholding of them; but grant they have a law, yet it is such a one as I hope will be abolished, for I hope the Parliament will cause them to be pulled down, because they are the occasion of much evil, which shall be to the comfort of many a one in Norwich, for * The Cathedral Courts. they have been the cause of many a sorrowful heart in Norwich; and hath been a trouble to the Author of this ensuing Discourse: Who is Thine to command T. L. True News from NORWICH. THere being a rumour that the Apprentices of Norwich would pull down the Rails of the great Church, (Christs-Church they call it) but there is but a little of Christ taught, and less practised. But as I said, there was a talk that the Apprentices of Norwich would pull down the Rails, and the Organs; therefore there was forthwith a Convocation called, wherein was debated by the * Unnecessary members, so say the Parliament. Dean and Chapters, whether or no the Rails should be pulled down; and the Convocation of Deane and prebend's thought fit that the Rails should be pulled down, for fear least when the Apprentices came, Organs and all should go to wrack; therefore it was thus ordered. That the Rails should be pulled down, and so they were, but the Organs stood still: The Apprentices of Norwich not being content with that, they threatened to have a bout with the Organs, upon Shrove-tuesday that was suddenly after to follow, but had no such intent, only to scar the fools. The Cathedral Blades upon this did forthwith provide great store of Parsons and Priests, * There was about 500 to be in a readiness against that day, to resist the rebellious Puritans, as they termed them; the matter was no sooner propounded, but it was presently put in agitation, and the gates of the great Cathedral were shut for two days. Shrove tuesday being come, they began to put themselves into a posture of defence, at the command of the Convocation of the Dean and prebend's of the Cathedral Church, as followeth. First, there was the Prebenders in order set, and to give their grave advise, they were present to help at a pinch, when there was no need of them, nor their counsel: I think it had been better for their commendations to have been at their studies, to prepare themselves to preach this Lent, but I believe their Sermons were not then to get extempore, for they cannot preach a Sermon unless their books be before them, which is Doctor-like forsooth, and therefore a short warning might serve their turns; for some of them cannot, and the rest will not preach extempore, but must be mute like asses; or else do as a Priest that I heard of did, when he had forgot his book, he told them he would read a chapter of job, that should be worth two of his Sermons, and I think it would be worth twenty of our Priests Sermons: thus they stood then. In the second place there were in order set the Canoniers, I mean the singing-men, and they were ready to help at a pinch if need be, they must blow the Rebels away, as they termed them, with their profound sounding roaring voices: They stood centinel in their Canonical coats, a body would think they should have been at their English mass, to call to the Pope for a Bull, to roar against the Apprentices, and to have conjured the Rebels away, as they do in the Litany: methinks this, if any thing might have done good, but alas, they were so afraid that they could not pray that day, and if they did, it was but faintly, for they had done their English singing-masse that day, before they use to begin at other times: thus all day they stood centinel to keep the Pipes, when there was no body had any intent to pull them down. There was thirdly the Choristers, who are much like to the other, but of a lower degree, who gave their attendance: one of which said, that he had been to do his duty: that is, he had been at singing Service, that they there use, and now says he, I am come to do my duty to keep the Organs; and there he, with the rest, stood like a company of fools, to keep them from danger, which none that I do know, had any mind to hurt. And says * His name is Atkins. another, what rogues are these that dare offer to pull down the Organs; for says he, if I do but go into Church and say my prayers, and hear the Organs go, they make the water run down my cheeks, they are so good and so sweet a music. Thus good Reader, thou mayst see how these men are rocked and lulled asleep by this music, which have indeed lulled many one asleep in ignorance. There is one True that is a constant hearer of this musical Mass; and he saith, that he findeth great comfort by it, how will he do when it be put down? as I hope it will ere long: Thus are many lulled asleep in Romish ignorance, (as the Papists say) the mother of devotion, which is I think all the devotion that many (if not all of them) use; and these are the effects that the Pipes produce. In the fourth place there were the Musquetiers, ready charged with bullets; and * His name was Nicholas Trew. one of them had in his Musket a bullet split in parts for to shoot the Apprentices when they come (say they:) Thus they stood all the day long shooting, and threatening the Rebels that dare come to pull down their Organs, when as the Apprentices had no intent to come, but were at home about their master's occasions; and did not intent to foul their fingers about such a company of rakeshames: and thus they stood like so many Abraham Ninnies, doing nothing but tell how many Crows flew over the pinnacle. And in the fift place there was the Holbardiers, they kept centinel, expecting to run their Holbards in any body's belly that dare offer to come and commit any injury against the Pipes: they did examine every body that came to Church, and not so much as a little boy should pass, but that they would know whether he were any of those that did intent to pull down the Organs: Insomuch that one being taken, was carried before their Reverend Deame, and be examining him, the man told the Dean, that the Rails, and Pipes, and other Innovatious, was against the Protestation; and he had sworn against all Innovations, and he would pull them down wherever he saw them, for so he was bound to do by the Protestation that he had taken. The Dean hearing these and many other words come brom him, he bade him go his way, he was a Puritan, he would not meddle with him; and I pray what was the reason, because he had no power: I believe his will was good, had he had power as well as desire, he would have put him to punishment enough. And another foolish fellow they took, (take notice that be was an Idiot) and sent to the Justices, and so he was sent to Bridewell, but they were glad to take him out again; had he had wit enough, he might have made his accuser's smart for it. It seems he had a mind to go into Church, (as a many fools had besides he) and they would not let him go; and said be would come 400 strong and pull down their Pipes, and upon this they sent him to Bridewell: thus the Holbard-men stood in a posture of defence to carry this fellow to Bridewell, and so one fool carried another. And in the sixth and last place there was about the number of 500 persons, armed with swords and pistols, and other weapons, to be upon the bats of any that should come against their Pipes; they watched and warded with a pot and a pipe under their noses, while some of them were as fort as beggars; insomuch as one True by name, (though not by nature) said, if 500 come we will kill 2000 of them; and to that end he said, come fellow Soldiers we will slay them all, and so he pulled out his pistol, and said he would kill one if he could: I have such a good opinion of him, that I think the fool had more wit than to think that 200 of 500 could be slain; but he was drunk, and this 2000 was the reason of his so foolish a speech; he and others were so intoxicated with strong Ale that was to be sold at the great Cathedral, that they could not tell what they said or did. Thus good Reader, thou mayst see the folly of these Pipe-mongers, that should prepare such a multitude of people, to be there a whole day for nothing. If the Dean and prebend's had been studying, the Canoniers a singing, the Choristers a chanting, the Musquetiers about their callings, the Holbardiers about their business, and their pistoll-blades about their occasions, it had been a little better for their praise; for now I hope by this small paper their foolishness shall be divulged to the uttermost parts of this Kingdom, that all the people may laugh at the silliness of the Cathedral Blades, and the Episcopal Abettors. Oh how loath they are to part with their Diana's, their Altars, Images, Crucifixes, Copes, Surplices, and Romish Vestments; no, (as some of them said) they would rather lose their lives then their Organs, so fast they are glued to their Pipes and Popish trinkets. It is a saying as true as ancient, that there is nothing so bad, but some good may be gotten from it; no flower so bad, but that the Bee will get some honey from it: so not so much but from this foolish practice, and simple tractate, there may be some good got. First we may hereby see the presumption of these Cathedral men, that they dare put themselves in a posture of defence, whereas there was no fear; and when they had no power but from the Dean, whose office is not wartantable jure Divino. We may see the fearfulness of these men who are afraid of their friends when none are near them, (their foes I would have said) for they do draw foes upon them by the late tyranny that they used in the Ecclesiastical Courts, which now (thanks be to God) are quite abolished, and in God's good time I hope the Parliament will take away all the Bishops, Deans and Chapters, the which they have voted to be unnecessary members, both to Church and State, to God and the King; whose heart I pray God to incline to his faithful Parliament. Want of resistance makes the Enemy bold, For if they'd had their Canons, none might have them controlled Their wrong usurped power, above the reach Of jure Divino; for which so much they teach: But if they had their power from Divine right, Surely it is to preach, and not to fight. FINIS.