Mistress PARLIAMENT Her gossiping. FULL OF MIRTH, MERRY TALES. chat, and other Pleasant Discourse, Between, Mrs. Statute. Mrs. justice. Mrs. Truth. And Mrs. Parliamnt. Mrs. Ordinance▪ Mrs. Synod. Mrs. ENGLAND being Moderator. Mistress PARLIAMENT, that late lay in, Invites you now unto her gossiping; And as the Order is unto this day, For what you eat; she'll make you Roundly pay; Pray Commons eat; Har's Chat and Laughter. And Committee-Fruit in dishes after: Fail too and welcome; I have still in store To prove Her Bawd, Murderer, Witch, and Whore. Her Tryall's past; she is condemned to die, Her Execution Day draws nigh; Come Help to guard her to the Gallow-tree. ENGLAND is freed of all her Misery. BY Mercurius Melancholicus: may 22 Printed in the year of the Downfall of the Sectaries, 1647. Mrs. Parliament her gossiping. Enter Mrs. Parliament, Mrs. Statute, Mrs. Synod. WELL, well; Never make comparisons with me Goodee Statute, 'tis, known to my Neighbours what I am well enough, and to what Houses allied; thou art but of a mean Parentage; nor that Trollup (thy sister Justice neither;) marry come up mother Ugly? shalt thou and thy Sister Damnable take the upper hand of me? I defy ye both, and scorn to foul my mouth with two such Bagagges, that for neglect of doing your several Offices, are now turned out of service by my Mother Parliament, and now do ye think to take place? Yes, yes, when my mother hath nothing else to do, so ye shall. Get you gone to your King to the I'll of Wight, he perhaps may entertain you, (if Colonel Hammond pleases) for my Mother shall have nothing to do with such homely Gossips as you are; Pray be packing: neither Statute, Justice, Law, Reason, not Religion, either comes within her doors so long as Ordinancas eyes be open: And though I say't (that should not say't,) I have been an obedient Daughter to her, and have up rising, and downlying, with all diligence executed her commands (right or rung) she knows it well enough, and so doth my Father in law Cromwell too; and my Dramatic Uncle, the new Chancellor of Oxford. High and Mighty Philip Switches, Earl of Pembroke, will swear Dam him he loves me; and I must love him again, in despite of what do ye call it hu, hu, hu, I humming Learning, 'tis; my Mother and I have peppered humming learning, Bishops! ha', ha', ha', I laugh to think of Canterbury; oh my sides, how I made him shorter by the head, and quite spoiled his humming learning: Dostors cotha; I have cast their waters for them, and made many of them to drink water, and to leap at a crust too; I laugh to think on't, what do they call them, Deans, prebend's and Chapiters'; all one with me, or my Uncle Philip either: If we say they be all Popish, they be all Popish, and pray who dare say the contrary; then will my Uncle and I out them their profane Nurseries of Learning because there should be none wiser than ourselves; and put in their Places Innocents' in Learning, pure Ignorance, Devout Folly, and Zealous Madness; What though the Wicked term them Fools, Madmen or Knaves, so long as we are a●l accounted so at Westminster; Is it any matter for Learning? Give me my Mother tongue in a pure Parliament Dialects the Alphabet where of gins with K. that is in plain English Knave, or Knaves: L. betokens Learning, and may be let out, Besides it is a Numeral Letter, and signifies fifty, that is some of the Number of the Beast; and is used in CharLes ● M. that may stand, because we cannot spell money without it, which my Mother Parliament loves exceedingly: Money is the main Key of our Work; Take away money, alas Ordinance is not worth a straw, nor Parliament neither: O gins my own Name; we have taught the people that already, to cry out O, oh! when we kill them; Rob or Plunder them of all they have, and then the poor wretches being ready to starve, will quickly learn O: P. gins my Mother's Name, P. Parliament, P. Privilege, Pay, Perjury; P. is the best Letter in our Alphabet. Q. is profane, being the first Letter of Queen, and is not to be used in my mother tongue, save in two places; Question, and Quarter: R is abomination, and so is C too; who hath not read 〈◊〉 we cannot endure it, Rex, 'tis as hateful to us as a Cross upon a Steeple; yet in Riches or Revenue it is tolerable: S signifies Sessments, Say and Seal, and is a Letter much used in Westminster School, as S for Sed●tion, S. Sacrilege, S slavery: T TOM, T— etc. T Traitors, T Tyburn, T tyrants, and T taskmasters, Turn coats, etc. V Vote U for me, and i'll Vote for U: V shall pay for all (U the Common People I mean:) V have undone us all; the Devil take U, and all the rest of the Alphabet for me; Here be Letters enough for my mother's Children; your will with me Statute? Stat. Had I my will, I would hang both thee and thy mother too: had thy mother been an honest woman Statute had never forsaken her; when I and my sister Justice gave her over she entertained thee into service, to execute her unjust commands; then she played the Strumpet to some purpose became a Murderer, a Witch, a Thief. Ord. Wilt thou prove my mother a Witch or a Whore? Stat. Yes, and a murdering bloody Whore too: Sister Justice call hither my Cousin Trut●, she can witness it. Just. I will obey ye. Sister Truth? why Sister Truth, Come into the Court. Enter TRUTH. Stat. Truth, here is a difference betwixt Mrs. Ordinance the Bastard Issue of Mrs. Parliament and myself; I know thou art her professed enemy; but yet thou art so honest, that thou canst not hate her Person more than her Conditions; therefore I desire thee to speak of her as she deserves and no otherwise. Truth. I will; she deserves to be hanged drawn and Quartered; or burnt with her Houses about her ears. Just. Make her Crimes known good Truth; I must not always defer deserved punishment. Truth. Dear Cousins, had either of you both been used by her as I have been; you would not ●uffer her to live a Day. Stat. I prithee tell us how? Truth. Why she has Voted me a Malignant kicked me out of the Church, the and all the Courts of Justice, and banished poor Truth into an ●land, where I have suffered all miseries whatsoever, as cold, hunger, nakedness, whilst she like a Strumpet, hath surfeited with the Excess she hath gained by Extortion, Theft and Rapine; Robbed God, the King and Commonwealth, and hath bewitched the People into abhorred Rebellion, and led them blindfold by the Noses to their own destruction; That her eldest Bastard Ordinance is likewise a Traitor to the Kingdom, and a bloody murderer, of souls as well as bodies▪ and an arrant Pickpocket, and a Pawde, and her Daughter the like; for what mischief soever hath been Ordered by the one, hath been acted by the other, both against Reason, Law and Conscience. Iust. I can forbear her no longer; apprehend the Scrumpet that she may suffer deserved punishment, according to he● crimes? Stat. I'll prosecute the Law on them, and Truth shall brin● in the Evidence against them both. But who comes here cla● all in sables? Enter Mrs. England in mourning Eng. Was ever grief like mine? O my HEAD! my Eye are dimmed with weeping; my bowels tremble, my hands are palsied o'er, my heart weeps blood, and all the faculties of my soul and body are out of frame; I am troubled with lunitick passions, and a dull lethargy seizes on all my vitals; sure I am bewitched, a Paniqe fear glides through all my veins; Help, help O ye Celestial powers, and stave Confusion off me, which threateneth my sudden ruin. Stat. 'Tis Mrs. England; she's in a strange fit, i'll see if I can comfort her, And know the reason of her discontent, Sure she's bewitched by Mrs. Parliament. All hail to sad dejected England; What is the reason of your heaviness? if justice can administer any comfort to thee; be sure on't: Here is my cousin Statute too, and honest Truth will do the like. Eng. Dear friends, welcome to poor despised England; this full seven years I have enquired after you, and never could find you out till now, though I have sought for you at Westminstered, and all the Kingdom over. Truth. Alas Mrs. England, we have been, all three banished from thence this seven years, and beat out of the Church too, Robbed, Plundered, and Sequestrated of all our Lands and goods, fling into Prisons, and exposed to all the miseries that Malice could invent against us. Iust. Mrs. Enland, our sufferings are all alike: therefore it is but folly to complain of our wrongs; let us find out the authoress of all this mischief, that by her Witchcraft and black Sorcery hath wrought all our ills; Know you who 'tis has wrought all this that I may whet my glittering sword, and pierce the Strumpet's heart. Eng. 'Tis soon known who is the Author of our miseries 'tis that dam'd Hag Mrs. Parliament, and her Daughter Ordinance, that feeds fat with Theft and Rapine, and quaff whole mazor Bowls of England's blood. Stat. Let's apprehend the Witch, and try her and her Daughter by the known Laws of the Land; but first let us degrade her, strip her out of her Parliament-Roabes, and then search the Imposture, to see what marks she has about her privities, to give such damned Spirits suck, as Manchester and Lenthall her two Familiars, and those Evil spirits Mildmay, Vein, Martin, and Devil Challonor conjured as low as hell, and all the damned Furies in the Houses to knaw tbeir wrists, and by't their fingers ends off, tearing their Snaky locks whilst they sit mumbling o'er their hellish Charms, and execrable Spells, till we have dispersed all hell's baleful Powers, that now seem to overtopp us. Eng. We are all agreed; let's make it known unto the Common People, and they'll dispatch her presently; many hands will make light work with her: but first let Mrs. London guard her surely lest she run away before this be effected. Just. No, 'tis pity the Rude multicnde should handle her; Let me first try this damned Geneva Witch; perhaps she may confess her guilt: If she can rehearse the Lords Prayer, or the Creed she is no Witch. Truth. She hath denied that long since; Nurse Synod can tell that well enough: I'll draw up her Indictment presently. Eng. Do good Truth, and i'll produce you witnesses enough against her I'll warrant you. Just. Summon them all three to the Bar. Eng. Mrs. Parliament, Mrs. Ordinance, Mrs. Synod, answer to your Names, and appear in the Court to answer what shall be objected against you for my Lord the King. Enter Mrs. Parliament in a Scarlet coloured Robe, Riding on a beast of many heads, and a Cup of Red Wine in in her hand, with Ordinance, and Synod. Eng. Mrs. Parliament hold up thy hand to the Barren, Thou art Arraigned by the Name of Parliament, That whereas thou hast (not having the grace of God before thine eyes) ever since Novem. 3. 1641. against the Laws of our Sovereign Lord the King, by the instigation of the Devil, Traitorously endeavoured to change the Fundamental Laws of the Kingdom; and to root out the King and his Posterity; to root out, and overthrow the very beings and foundations of Parliament; and to bring a scandal and reproach upon that High and Honourable Ceurt; That she hath by her sorceries and delusions bewitched the People into Rebellion against their Gracious Sovereign the Lords Anointed; That she hath sacrilegiously robbed God of his Worship, he Church of its Patrimony, the King of his Revenue; the Subject of his Liberty; and changed Religion into Faction; Preaching into prating Blasphemy, Treasons, Contradictions and Tautallogies; That she hath by the Power of the Sword by the help of a Tyrannical, Schismatticall and Over-awing Party) rob and killed the Subjects, even at her very doors as they come to make know their a grievances; That she still keeps her King in Prison, and insults and Tyranizes' over the Lives & Fortunes of a Freeborn people, charging them with insupportable Impositions to maintain an Army to destroy themselves who act nothing but Rapine, Murder and Cruelty, and hath brought all the Plagues of God upon this Nation. Stat. What sayest thou Mrs. Parliament, art thou guilty, or not guilty of all these crimes objected against thee by Truth? Parl. Guilty of all this, and ten times more, and would do it again, had I yet power. Truth. Graceless wretch! Let us proceed to sentence. Stat. Mistress Parliament, thy Conscience is a thousand witnesses: I Wish thou couldst repent; Thou art to return to the place from whence thou cam'st and from thence to be drawn to the place of Execution, and there to be hanged and Quartered. So Lord have mercy on thy soul. Take her Jailor. Parl. I defy ye all; do your worst: Yet save my child. Stat. Call a Jury of Women to search her. Enter Women and search her, and find Witches marks upon her, and Exit. FINIS.