A modest Account of the wicked Life of that Grand Impostor, Lodowick Muggleton: Wherein are related all the remarkable Actions he did, and all the strange Accidents that have befallen him, ever since his first Coming to London, to this Twenty-fifth of January, 1676. Also a Particular of those Reasons, which first drew him to these damnable Principles: With several pleasant Stories concerning him, proving his Commission to be but counterfeit, and himself a Cheat, from divers Expressions which have fallen from his own Mouth. Licenced according to Order. Quarto, containing six Pages, printed at London for B. H. in 1676.  
LOdowick Muggleton was born of poor, though honest Parents, living at Chippenham, within fifteen Miles of Bristol: His Relations having but little Means, and a great Charge of Children to maintain, they were forced to send their Daughters to wait on their neighbouring Gentry, and to place their Sons to such Trades as cost little Binding them Apprentices; but, amongst all the rest of those of this worshipful Brood, they were blessed withal, they might have observed, even in his cunicular Days, in this Lodowick Muggleton, an obstinate, dissentious, and opposive Spirit; which made them desirous to settle him at some Distance from them, and also to bind him to such a Trade, and Master, as might curb him from that Freedom, which the Moroseness of his corpse Nature extorted from his too indulgent Parents: By which Means, as soon as he had made some small Inspection into his Accidence, without any other Accomplishment, besides a little Writing and Casting of Accounts, he was hurried up to London, and there bound Apprentice to one of the cross-legged Order, but of an indifferent Reputation in the Place where he lived, though by Trade a Tailor. We will pass over the Parenthesis of his Youth in Silence, therein being nothing but usual Waggeries, which generally recommend to our Expectation something remarkable, when the useful Extravagancies shall be seasoned with Age.  
When the Time of his Apprenticeship grew near its Expiration, so that he was admitted more Liberty, than formerly was granted him, he was observed to be a great Haunter of Conventicles; insomuch that there could not a dissenting Nonconformist diffuse his Sedition in any obscure Corner of the City, but this Lodowick Muggleton would have a Part of it; by which Means, continuing in the same idle Curiosity, and taking great Observation on that unknown Gain, many of that canting Tribe got by their deluded Auditors, he proposed to himself a certain and considerable Income to be got by the same Means, by which he had observed many of those great Pretenders gull both himself and others: For a rooked Conventicler, like a bankrupt Gamester, having, for some Time, been cullied out of his Money, learns the Trick, sets up Hector, and trades for himself.  
Thus did Lodowick Muggleton, by sliding out of one Religion into another, so dissatisfy his Judgement, and run himself from the solid Basis of his first Principles; first degenerating, from the orthodox Tenets of the Church of England, to Presbytery; from thence to Independency; thence to Anabaptism; thence to Quakerism; and, lastly, to no Religion at all.  
When Men have, thus, once fooled themselves out of Religion and a good Conscience, it is no Wonder, that their secular Interests draw them into all Sorts of Impiety and Profaneness, as it has done this Lodowick Muggleton; who, though, in himself, a poor, silly, despicable Creature, yet had the Confidence to think he had Parts enough to wheedle a Company of silly, credulous Proselytes out of their Souls and Estates: And, indeed, he has had such admirable Success in that wicked Enterprise, that, tho' we cannot absolutely conclude, that he has cheated them of the first; yet we can prove, if Occasion were, that he has defrauded them of the latter; as has been often told him, since the first Day of his Standing in the Pillory.  
It has been told already, how this impious Impostor lays Claim to a counterfeit Commission, whereby he has infected the Truths of many honest, ignorant People, with an extraordinary Power, that was delivered to him by as infamous a Blasphemer as himself, John Reeve; who, as he formerly rivalled Muggleton in Impiety, had he been yet living, should certainly have clubbed with him in his deserved Punishment.  
It is about twenty-one Years, since this impudent Creature began his Impostures; who, knowing himself as defective of Reason, as of Religion, made it one of the grand Maxims of his Policy, That his Proselytes should be fully persuaded, contrary to all Sense, or Probability. Reason was that great Beast, spoken of in the Revelation, and, consequently, not to be consulted withal, as to the Examining of any fundamental Point in Religion; whereby he secured both himself, and his shallow Disciples, from all those frequent Disputations and Arguings, which, otherwise, must necessarily have diverted them from adhering to his damnable, impious, and irrational Tenets; which I purposely omit, as being too unsufferably profane for the modest Ear of any sober, well-meaning Christian.  
But we may judge a little of the Theoric by the Practic, I mean, of his Principles by his Practices, and of the Soundness of his Doctrine by those Duties he held himself, and his Followers, obliged to, in the Performance of it; which, indeed, were none at all; it being his usual Custom, when they met on the Sabbath-day, to entertain them with a Pig of their own Sow; I mean, with Wine, strong Drink, or Victuals; which either they sent in beforehand, or brought along with them; allowing them to be as licentious, as they pleased, in all Things that might gratify, or indulge their Senses.  
A Friend of mine was, one Sunday, walking in the Fields; and, meeting there an old Acquaintance of his, who was lately turned Muggletonian, with a young Baggage in his Hand, which, he did more than suspect, was light, he could not forbear Expressing his Admiration, to this Muggletonian himself, in these, or suchlike Terms: I cannot but wonder to see you, my old Neighbour, who have, for these many Years, busied yourself in the Study of Religion, and was, not long since, like to have gone mad, because you knew not which Opinion to stick to. I say, I cannot but wonder to see you Abroad, on the Sabbath-day, in this brisk Posture; you are altered both in Countenance, Apparel, and Manners, so that I almost doubt, whom I speak to. Ah, answered the Muggletonian, you know, Friend, how I have heretofore troubled myself about Religion indeed; insomuch that it had almost cost me my Life, but all in vain, till about six Weeks since; at which Time I met with Lodowick Muggleton, who has put me into the easiest Way to Heaven, that ever was invented; for he gives us Liberty, provided we do but believe in his Commission, freely to launch into all those Pleasures, which others, less knowing, call Vices; and, after all, will assure us of eternal Salvation. Behold, Reader, what a sweet Religion here is like to be.  
But, as Muggleton was liberal in the Freedom he gave his Adherents, so he was always careful to avoid the Prohibitions of the Law; he generally appointed his Bubbles to meet in the Fields, where he also permitted them to humour their Sensualities with any Recreation, not excepting Uncleanness itself; for which Profaning the Sabbath he was, in Oliver Cromwell's Time, committed to Newgate, where he had like to have been so dealt withal then, that Tyburn had saved the Pillory this Trouble now: But that perfidious Usurper ● conscious to himself, that Muggleton could not be a greater Impostor in the Church, than he was in the State, upon the Consideration of Fratres in malis, restored him to his Liberty.  
Howbeit, a little before Oliver's Death, Muggleton, by continual Flatteries, had got into his Books, and, amongst other Prophecies concerning him, had declared, that Oliver should perform more wonderful Actions, than any he had yet achieved, before he died. But, he happening to departed this Life, before he had done any Thing else that was remarkable, Muggleton was demanded, Why his Prophecy proved not true? He answered very wisely, and like himself, viz. That he was sure Oliver would have performed them, had he lived long enough.  
But, since his Gracious Majesty's Return, he has driven on a much more profitable theological Cheat, having assumed the Liberty not only of infusing what Doctrine he pleased into the Minds of his ignorant deluded Followers, but writ several profane Books, which, to his great Advantage, he dispersed among them; poisoning their Minds thereby with a Hodgepodge of rotten Tenets, whereby they are become uncapable of relishing the more sound, wholesome, and undoubted Principles of the Church of England.  
I shall conclude with one Story more concerning Muggleton, and so leave him to the Censure of the ingenuous Reader. A timish Gentleman, accoutered with Sword and Peruke, hearing the Noise this Man cause in the Town, had a great Desire to discourse with him, whom he found alone in his Study; and, 〈◊〉 Advantage of that Occasion, he urged Muggleton so far, that, knowing not what to say, h● falls to a solemn Cursing of the Gentleman who was so enraged thereat, that he drew hi● Sword, and swore he would run him through immediately, unless he recanted the Sentence o● Damnation, which he had presumptuously cast upon him. Muggleton, perceiving, by the Gentleman's Looks, that he really intended what he threatened, did not only recant his Curse, but pitifully entreated him whom he had cursed before; by which we may understand the Invalidity both of him, and his Commission.  
Thus, whoever considers the Contents of Muggleton's whole Life, will find it, in toto, nothing but a continued Cheat of above twenty-one Years long; which, in the Catastrophe, he may behold worthily rewarded with the modest Punishment of a wooden Ruff, or Pillory; his grey Hairs gilded with Dirt and rotten Eggs; and, in fine, himself brought, by Reason of his own horrid and irreligious Actions, into the greatest Scorn and Contempt imaginable, by all the Lovers of Piety, Discretion, or good Manners.   


●…vp your Hearts, rejoice in him,  
For Work of his own Hand;  
For I of happy Tidings mean,  
To let you understand.   

Which cheerful will be sure to all,  
Of faithful English Blood;  
Whose Hearts did never hate the Truth,  
Nor Gospel yet withstood.   

A Man there was, a quondam great  
Of Might, of Pomp, and Praise;  
Of English Blood, though English Love  
Were small in all his Ways.   

As did appear by Roomishe Acts,  
Proceeding from his Hight;  
Which proved him not an English Man,  
But sure a Roman right.   

For never faithful English Hart  
Was Foe to native Soil;  
Yet he in native Land did seek,  
Christ's faithful Flock to spoil.   

An● also then he wrought much Woe,  
To England's chiefest Stays;   

By seeking of their Death and Loss,  
Which loved Christ's Testament.   

And more than so, of worthy Wights,  
Of whom bereft are we;  
Which left their Wealth, their Ease, and Life,  
That Christ might gained be.   

And yet not so, this * Cyrus' left  
Much human Blood to spill;  
And so cease his devouring Rage,  
And most blasphemous Wil   

But more and more he sought Outrage,  
(As all his Mates were bend)  
By Lies and Tales, and Popish Toys,  
God's Gospel to prevent.   

As one in Place by Satan sent,  
God's Instrument of Ire;  
To daunt the Pride of England then,  
(Which did it much require.)   

And so no doubt this † Bonner did,  
He spared no Degree;  
Ne Wise, ne Grave, ne , ne Poor,  
Be pitied no Man he.   
〈…〉