FREE-PARLIAMENT QUAERES: PROPOSED TO Tender Consciences; AND Published for the use of the Members now Elected.  
By Alazonomastix Philalethes.  Spectatum admissi risum teneatis amici? 
Printed in the year of our Redemption. 1660.   

Free-Parliament Quaeres, &c.  
1. Whether Coffee be not the most fitting Drink for the English Nation, since we have equalled, nay outgone the Turks themselves; for though they murdered the Father, yet they presently set up the Son?  
2. Whether our late Rumpers deserve not that that saying, Nulla fides pietasve viris qui Castra sequuntur, should be thus interpreted, There is neither Faith nor Pity to be showed to them nor their janissaries?  
3. Whether Hell at Westminster be not likely to lose its Customers, since the Devils are turned out of the Parliament House?  
4. Whether Thom. Scot can pretend to Liberty of Conscience, since he made an Archbishops House a Prison or Gaol?  
5. Whether by the Covenant, Sir Arthur Haslerig ought not to be ejected from the bishopric of Durham, since by that we have sworn against all limbs of Episcopacy?  
6. Whether Hanging or Drowning be the best ways of Transportation of our late Republicans to the commonwealths of Utopia or Oceana?  
7. Whether that Prophecy the Saints shall rule the earth, be not meant of Barbadoes, Jamaica, or some terra incognita?  
8. Whether Col. John S. can keep off the Taxes of an Execution, by the profit he got by printing the late Act of assessment?  
9 Whether F. and H. the late commonwealth Printers should not change Names, since the first swells like a Mountain, and the other is but a poor Leveller?  
10. Whether Sir Arthur Haslerig hath not a precedent of Patience, in this his falling into the pit of Adversity, from his falling into the ditch at Leicester?  
11. Whether Bradshaw and Dun did not accompany each other to Hell, that the Devil having got such a Judge, might not want a fit Executioner?  
12. Whether the loss of writing the News of England, was not the Cause that Nedham was so busy with the News from Brussels?  
13. Why since England hath so long been made Bedlam, the Sectarians should rather be called fanatics than frantics?  
14. Whether the Army be not dispossessed of the Devil, and Sir Arthur, since they begin to submit to the Civil Authority?  
15. Whether the soldiers ought not to tear off their Red Coats, since Oliver first instituted them, that they might resemble the devil's Pensioners, in slaming Doublets?  
16. Whether the fanatics do not hate Monck now, as much as ever they did the Church, their King, or Country?  
17. If the Proverb be true, When Knaves fall out, Honest men may come by their Goods; then whether lambert's switching the Rump out of Doors, and their driving him into the Tower, may not open a Door of Hope for something further?  
18. Whether a Long Parliament, a Lord, and five Members, might not, were they now conjoined together, be termed the devil's Coach with six Horses?  
19 Whether there is not like to be a less Arbibitrary administration of Justice in Hell, if Bradshaw be made precedent there, instead of Minos, Rhadamanthus, or Aeacus?  
20. Whether the next Parliament ought not to condemn Dr. John Owen's Primer, to be burnt by the Common Hangman, since it was made for the use of the Children of the Rump?  
21. Whether any of the late Rump could have stood for Parliament-men, if neither fools nor knaves had been capable of Election?  
22. Whether it be not the Cheapest way of buying Lands, with Col. Harvey and others, to agree with the State for three moieties, and then cozen them of two?  
23. Whether that comedy, called The Costly Whore, was not intended for the life of the Lady Sands, and was written by Henry Martin?  
24. Whether the Bastard, a tragedy, was compiled by Mr. Goff, or written by J. Ireton?  
25. Whether Orlando Furioso that ancient Italian Poem, was not meant for a Prophetical Relation of the life of Sir Arthur Haslerig?  
26. Whether the Discontented colonel, be not the fittest play to be acted by our cashiered Officers, since they have now no more to do in State Comedies?  
27. Whether Sir Arthur did not act the Raging Turk in Westminster-Hall, when he saw the admission of the Secluded Members?  
28. Whether it was to know if he should be chosen for Parliament man, or when he should take his turn at Tyburn, that the said Gentleman lately addressed himself to the Star-cheater lily?  
29. Whether Col. S. Creditors have any assurance of his honesty, since he may, being a Printer, so easily change the first letters of his name, and make it Cheater?  
30. Whether Atkins be the Anagram of a Stink, or a Stink of Atkins; and whether that be not a very fitting name for a Member of the Rump?  
31. Whether the fift of November, or the twenty one of February, deserve the greater solemnity, as a day of delivery from the grander traitors?  
32. Why a Rump being a small and worst part of a man, so many good Saints should go together to the making of it up?  
33. Whether ever Doctors Commons might more fitly be called the Spiritual Court than lately, when none but Saints were Judges and Proctors?  
34. Whether the Proverb that saith, Facilis descensus Averni, the way to Hell is easy, be not a mistake, since our late statesmen took such pains in it?  
35. Whether the so stately equipping of the Naseby frigate, be not for the bringing home of the Son, since the Father lost his Crown and Dignity at that fatal place, that so there may be an allusion to that Proverb?  
— Quâ cuspide vulnus acutâ  
Tulerat, hâc ipsâ cuspide tulit opem.  
36. Whether an act of Oblivion can ever be really passed for the late men of the Tail; since they can never forget their former Rogueries, if they be suffered to enjoy the profits of them?  
37. Whether the salt of the English wits is not strangely unprofitable, since it makes the Rump to stink more and more in the nostrils of the People?  
38. Lastly, Whether it be not good service to the Nation, to keep the stink of them thus fresh in their noses, that they may for the future avoid fouling their fingers with them?  
FINIS.