News from the New EXCHANGE, OR THE COMMONWEALTH OF LADIES, Drawn to the Life, in their several Characters and Concernments. Martialis. lib. 4. Epig. 71. Quaero diu, totam gressus agitando per urbem, Si qua puella negat, nulla puella negat. Tamquàm fas non sit, tamquam sit turpe negare; Tanquàm non liceat, nulla puella negat. Casta igitur nulla est? castae sunt mille. Quid ergo Casta facit? non dat; non tamen illa negat. Ovid. — Casta est quam nemo rogavit. London, Printed in the year, of Women without Grace, 1650. News from the New-EXCHANGE, or the Commonwealth of Ladies, drawn to the Life, in their several Characters and Concernments. THere was a time in England, when men wore the Breeches, and debarred women of their Liberty; which brought many grievances and oppressions upon the weaker vessels; for, they were constrained to converse only with their homes and closerts, and now and then with the Gentleman-usher, or the Footman (when th●y could catch him) for variety: So that in th●se days, there was no such thing as the SERVANT, the FRIEND, or the INTIMATE in ordinary; nor durst they be acquainted with the mode of Drink, Dice, and Tobacco; nor role and convert their smocks into Colanders, to strain healths of Sack into Beer-glasses, and take them off astride upon men's shoulders. In consideration whereof, and divers other inconveniences, by the tyranny of men, the Ladies Rampant of the times, in their last Parliament, knowing themselves to be a part of the free people of this Nation, unanimously resolved to assert their own freedoms; and casting off the intolerable yoke of their Lords and Husbands, have voted themselves the Supreme Authority both at home and abroad, and settled themselves in the posture of a Free-State, as may appear by their Practices. In the first place, for the well ordering of their Militia, they have listed themselves under the conduct of the Right Honourable the Countess of Kent, and the old Countess of Exeter; who ought to lead the Van, being experienced Soldiers, that have passed through all Offices in Venus' Wars, from a Corporal to a Colonel. These two are the only pillars of Nobility and Hospitality; who, to breed up the young Fry in the Mysteries of the Sex, have erected an Academy, which is opened every Sunday night at the Countess of Kent's and every Thursday at my Lady of Exceter's. There Suppers are reckoned most convenient, because the Bed follows, and it is judged the best way of digestion after the Lectures, they never being upon any other Subject, but WHO with WHO, Mistresses and Servants, and the Act of well-doing, which must needs break the Academy of well speaking, and soon make the Italian Knight lose all his Custom, for going the wrong way to work with our English Ladies. And if he dare dispute the matter, we will refer it to my Lady Carlisle. This is a Lady indeed, that seven years since took sail with Presbytery, being charged in the Fore-deck by Master Hollis, in the Poop by Master Pym, whilst she clapped my Lord of Holland under hatches. And this was a lucky Supply at that time, because Toby Matthewes and Wat. Montague were both fled for Religion. About 3 years since, being weary with that faction, she revived a correspondence upon the Royal account; among the rest with divers foreign Ambassadors; especially Mons. Believerey, till she was put in the Tower, where she now pines away for want of fresh-Cod, and knoweth not which way to lead her Nags to water, since the State hath cut off all her pipes of intelligence. After her comes the old Lady Peterburgh, who would feign be young. A Presbyterian Lady too, that casts a sad look with her eyes for the downfall of her Faction, and sings the lamentation of a sinner for the loss of Mr. Hollis, but above all for the Irreparable loss she had in Tom. Gell, when my Lady Rutland got him from her. 'Twere pity my old Lady Devonshire and these two should be parted, for, the Presbytery was settled first in her house by the Scots Commissioners; where my L. Louden, Lauderdale, and Dumferling, were clapped in her hole of repentant, to forward the work of Reformation. And now we talk of Reformation, God help my Lady Salisbury, whose Sins are as big as her Body, and whose faults are better known at home than, abroad, since the death of the old Duke of Buckingham and my Lord of Holland. A very charitable Mother she is to all her Children; but especially to her daughter my Lady Sands, having helped her to a Touch, with her Son in Law my Lord Lisle, though my Lord of Salisbury himself, like a cross Father, * My Lady Sands was warming her Brother Lisles drawers by the fire Side. came in and took her airing his Drawers. This Lady Sands continues her Clack going ever since, to draw grists to the Mill, and is at this time one of the greatest Coursers upon the New Exchange; She outdrinks a Dutch man, outvies a Courtesan, and is good at all Games, but loves none like In and In, and sometimes she is for Possage. In league with her are all the Hat-and-feather-Gallants, the feather being the proper Hieroglyphic of her Condition, and the Badge of her faction. As for her good Sister, the young Lady Devonshire, She hath been a very sad woman ever since the death of my Lord john; but since that, She hath been rid of her Qualm by Tom Killigrew, who is now gone Ambassador from jersey into Italy, on purpose to fetch her a Musk-cod to perfect the Cure. This Family is both large and godly, and therefore we must not forget my Lady Cranborn; who lives in a Scotish missed betwixt light and darkness so that groping often for Truth, She now and then lays hold upon the Preacher, and puts him beside the Text, in an error. She plays above-board with Mr. Sackvile, underboard with Mr. Sterry, and several other Captains that usually preach before her and the Council of State. She hath preferred one Lee Lecturer at St. Martin's, to read lectures on Sunday nights to the whole Family, concerning due Benevolence; which gave occasion to Mistress Peele (an Intimate of theirs) to commend his doctrine above all others. And now, nor forgetting an overthwart neighbour of theirs we must think of my Lady Forster; an old Mistress and a young Saint; one whose proportion puts us in mind of her Excellencies, and he that means to board her, must put off his doublet and swim, it being of the same size with a Fishpond: yet it is ten to one if he scape sinking, since she is somewhat of kin to Goodwin Sands, having swallowed up many Families, many Blue Garters, Georges, Earls, and Baronies innumerable. Among them, as the latest (though of a long continuance) is the Lord Willoughby of Parham; who hath now taken a journey to the Barbadoes and means to pipe her one way since he cannot another; In Order whereunto he hath provided her a whole plantation of Tobacco, it being her proper Element; so that since my Lord finds Smoak, Sir Humphrey may in time have Bacon. I would have this Lady well preferred in the Commonwealth, she being now a great Retailer of Courtesies. And truly her Daughter my Lady Prat (for aught I see) is resolved to keep up the Trade, having an Husband for the purpose. This is that doughty Knight Sir George Prat, once celebrated in Comedy, and pawned upon the Stage (as well as at the Tavern) in a joynt-stool for a Reckoning. He, Sir Samuel Luke, jeffery, and little Trott, may help to make up the Nine Worthy's amoug the Pigmies, and might pass for rare Champions in America, to erect a new Common wealtb among the Monkeys. Indeed, take Sir George, horns and all, and he is a very formidable Monster; so that 'tis no wonder if his Lady be reprehended by her Mother, for being Bulled by an Urchin: She is a great wit, and plays with an old Sophister (Dr. Smell-smock, alias Mr. Osbaston) who jerks her both behind, and before; therefore Mr. Lenthall, though he have played Truant a great while, may the rather scape a whipping. Come, take your Turn Mrs. Gamlyn; for, you have had many a one by that excellent Squire of the Body young Lenthall, who hath the art to love if the Women love him. They say, Northamptoc makes love one hour to you, and he beats the brains of it out in a quarter. This Gentleman broaches maxims very dangerous to the Commonwealth of Women, viz. That there is no woman honest. That women would become unnecessary in the world, if that damnable principle of honesty should be professed. That originally there was no such quality as honesty, only it was insinuated by the persuasions of the first mother, to keep women from being debauched in their nurse's arms. All which hath been applauded, and sealed to, by the same Gentleman, over and over. Now, as a brave * Supposed a Hetmaphrodite. Woman-man-of-mettle, heigh for my Lady Hungerford. Since Sir Edward is in Heaven, the fittest mate for her upon Earth, must needs be Annis-water Robin, For they may fit one another by turns, and be beholding to no body. This Lady over-rid and excarnated, no less than three of her women in her husband's life-time; and hath left no part of four Gentlemen-ushers visible in the world, but their periwigs; but the fifth escapes yet, and may perhaps for a twelvemonth. Room next for my Lady Kingsmell; who having been lately in France, hath brought over some Italian tricks with her. The only wit in that house is new lechery, and her Daughter is vostre Serviteur. The Mother should have been married to my Lord of Norwich, at his coming out of prison, but that of late he is become as dry as his jests, and the talk of the town diverted the humour. But my Lady Rutland (God wots) is a more resolute Lover; for, now that her Lord is out of Town, nothing can stave her off from Tom. Gell. This fellow the world suspected to be Eunuch to my Lord of Newcastle; but now she commends him for the sweetest man in the world though of late she hath a great stroke too with Harry Martin. And now we talk of a stroke, I can tell you of a notable Striker one Mrs. Luson, who hath blown up and broke so many French, Dutch, and Spanish Merchants, that none of late durst deal with her but Hugh Peter's; who (I hear) hath pawned half the fleet at Milford-haven to provide her a new year's gift; and this in imitation of his Masters at Westminster, who ever put the Charges of their Lechery upon the accounts of the Public. This policy of Hugh Peter, puts us in mind of godly Gravener, he that is Commissary to my Lady Fairfax; who hath pawned his Commission for another couple of Flanders horses, to make sure of Mistress Luson: And she I think hath paid him pretty well; for the poor Gent. hath spit himself into a Night cap, and the next Remove may be into a Coffin. If ever the new Common weal be routed, it must be by this Lady; for, put a little Gunpowder to her Mercury, and you may soon blow up my Lord Bradshaw. He (they say) hath audited her Physic Bill, and the Council of State finds many faults in it As Inprimis, one purge for a clap she had from Sir Harry Mildmay, which was much envenomed by one he caught the morning before from Bess the Beggar wench. Item a Plaster for the swelling in her Groin, that Mr. Marten gave her from a Shanker of his, which he caught from the Wench he stole from his Brother-Member Sir Roger North. Item, an Astringent for a Gonorrhaea, given her by Mr. Scot, which hath been entailed upon him and his Family, ever since he strained at the Brewer's daughter behind the Ale-fat. Item, for a Pimple, which my Lord of Denbigh entailed on the Top of her Belly from the Tip of his Nose. The Apothecary pleaded this cure was extraordinary, because the Rubies in my Lord's nose, might have caused a Carbuncle in her Cabinet, had it not been prevented (according to my Lord's own direction) with an emollient Clyster over night, a Dose of Pills in the morning, and an electuary from the same Lord the night following. Item for fluxing, fuming, soaking, and Tubbing of Heveningham, a worthy Member; yet all will do no good; For, this Lady and he have been so long of the same humour, that he cannot be cured of a Rheum, that hangs on both sides his mouth, so that ere long he may be Chapfall'n. This Malady hath been much exasperated by an ill prepared flux, which hath left him more of Mercury than Venus in his Body. Ask my Lady Lake else, who did what woman could for him, plied him with Cordials and warm Plasters: but broke his head when she said, She wondered her Cousin Heveningham would have to do with so rotten a woman. As she wounds some, so she shaves others; for she has made Mr. Love a woeful Example, who never wore any beard since her first acquaintance. Oh, let us not now forget Mistress Duns, a Lady every jot as Independent as the former, she hath paid Tribute to all the Deputies of Ireland, and will not now forbear her Cousin Cromwell. She keeps mighty Intelligence too with his wife, and she with Hugh Peter, and Peter with Mistress Ireton, she with Bradshaw, he with Madam Castlehaven, as Cromwell with Mrs. Lambert. Now enter my Lady Craven, at a conference over her Cups. Fie sister fie; never a Beer-glasse of Sack to Sir William Sidley's health? yes, my Lady Craven, here's one, fill a Brimmer, to that part of my Sister Craven which Sir William loves best. 'tis well filled, and fairly drunk. Now to do you right, my Lady Mary, here is to you; to the finishing of Sir William's desires, let it be how, where, and when he pleases. Come, my Lady Mary Howard, take courage; though thy fortune be but small, yet having a good stroke, thou shalt drink Dormer into Matrimony. 'tis the wonder of the world, Why Sir Kenelm Digby, should be so mad for my Lady Middlesex, since he boarded her and the Galleys at Scanderoon much about the same time, and hath rid at Anchor ever since. 'tis a very hard matter to know whether she be, a Lady or Leviathan. Sure, none but Goliahs' weapon can fit her Scabbard, nor can any hand but his with the six fingers sufficiently seel her; and he that will please her (which she abundantly loves) must convert a Weavers beam into a dildo. If she and Sir Kenelm go on with the Match, then let the Saints beware; for, I believe Gog and Magog will come of the Progeny. But what think you of my Lady marchioness of Winchester and Colonel Warren? Though my Lord be her Husband, yet the Colonel is the man. Though my Lord have a good Babble by descent, and may play well, yet the Col. hits the blot oftener in his lady's Tables. She is often sick, and as often swells, and, by the opinion of all Doctors, no cure is like that in private with her Colonel. Bowls was an able fellow too once, before he came to be my Lady of Bath's Gentleman usher: But you may guess how the World goes with him now; for he dwindles every day, and (some say) the Calves of his legs are left in his Lady's Belly; so that when my Lord expected a Son, God knows it proved a Moon Calf; and had it grown up to have horns, my Lord might then have hoped it was of his own begetting. Poor Jack Young! my Lady Monmouth bites hard too; for, she hath drawn him so low, that he will never make Mummy; and therefore intends to prefer him for a living Skeleton to Surgeon's hall, as a very neat Subject for an Anatomy lecture. And indeed, it is high time he were some way disposed of, for, his foreman is so flag, and his hams so feeble, that my Lady is constrained still to cry out [Thy finger again, Jack.] I believe the Parson too is puzzled, to interpret the barrenness of my Lady Stanhope, she gives him the opening of many a hard Text, so that he will have much ado to resolve the Tithe, of her Doctrine into Use and Application; for ('tis known) she is much given to Hunting, and hath run down a whole kennel at a time for recreation. Her mouth is (like mopsas) O Heavenly wide, so that her Tail being of the same size in dimension, 'tis possible Stamford may pass throng her, booted and spurred to seek new fortunes in America. There is another notable Lady too, newly come out of France, and knows all the feats of that country, and is now set up in England, by name my Lady Montague; all spirit of Sulphur: for, she takes fire immediately, and evaporates without conception; so that we must leave her to the skill of Ben. Weston, to provide a Son for my Lord Montague, as the Prince Elector did for my Lord Moulgrave. And if ever Ben. mean to effect it, let him keepher Ladyship only to himself, and recall her Ambassadors, which lie Leaguer for strong backs, in City and Country. She trade's not so openly, but others are as close; yet Murder will out: for, 'tis known well enough (though carried in private) how often Mr. Villiers hath come the Back way over a wall, to the fore way of my Lady Savile, alias Sussex; and she usually helps him down in her arms, for fear of a straining. News, news, The Duchess hath a Son and heir, in the absence of Prince Rupert. But— etc. If Madam Newport should not be linked with these Ladies, the chain would never hold; for, she is Sister to the famous Mrs. Porter (who of late plays the Macquerela in the behalf of her own Son;) and to the more famous Lady Marlborough (whose Paint is her Pander.) This Lady Newport leads the Lord Bellasis in one hand, and jack Russell in the other, and cuts a kindness so equally be-between them, that Sir Kenelm Digby needed not have come in to decide the controversy. Yet having beat the Bush so often, there's no reason but he should catch the Bird, and these two Gentlemen, when he comes, be turned lose to ruminate the Favour. And that this Lady may not go without her fellow, if you are coloured, my Lady Elizabeth Darcy, appear as Stanhope, alias Chesterfields' Daughter. Take confidence, such as your Sister Stanhope did, when she met Hatton Rich upon the stairs, whilst her Husband (good man!) was making his Will. Manage your design well; there is no fear but you may trail both Sir Andrew, and Mr. Glascock, as long as they can crawl, and you smile. These are very tractable Gent. and hot-mettaled; the harder you stave them off, the fiercer they come on; the longer you hold them in play, the more will the prize be valued. This Madam is like a Politic Merchant, in our Commonwealth, and (if she be not taken off by Preferment) may chance to spoil the Trade of all Stallions in Pension, by teaching the rest of the Ladies how to prise their Commodities. My right hand would forget its cunning should the example of all women be left out, my Lady Cullen, who in my Lord Riche's time was called my Lady Mary Cokaine, but varied her name when she began to teach Souldi●rs how to order the Pike. This silken-Granado hath blown up many a Garrison; for she ever fired well, wounded one Captain so that he lies in still, fell furiously on many others; and she hath one Trick, that if you will not charge her, she'll charge you. Upon these terms she met with a Colonel, one Stamford, whom when she had worn out one way as well as the other, she cashired him for want of pay, and took over his head George Porter, whose design is to Level her even with his own principles. On the other side, she, having smelled his Plot, gins to grow weary of him, and plies the Countermine, but knows not how to admit another, because his Mother and his Wife stand Sentinel at her elbow.— It is intended, the life of this Lady shall ere long come out in Folio. But 'tis an old Proverb, there can be no Play without a Fool in it. Alas poor Master Pembroke, who twelve months since was an Earl, but now being made a poor Commoner of England, hath rallied his forces, and finds it necessary to cashier my Lady May, my Lady Banbury, and my Lady Crompton, having been very angry with her, and desired her to resolve him of this Question, * She duned him beyond reason for Money. Whether he shit Gold? This poor overriden Gentleman lies now at Rack and Manger, with a Chambermaid of my Lady Herbert's. 'Zounds, we are now in a Godly Family; and they that are the only people in the world, that know to order Women: for, the Father keeps two wives and a Concubine, as prisoners. The Lord his son (a poor Commoner too) rid his hands of one wife, and keeps this very close, though Jack Griffith be in France; and so doth James his too, though my Lord of Oxford be in Holland. As for Jack, with his Spider's shanks, his Mistress is not arrived to fourteen yet, or else he would take the same course as his Brothers, for fear she should suck of the same Teat with her Mother. We cannot name my Lady Crompton too often. When Tom. Temple's stock could hold no longer, neither in Wit nor Money, she laid him aside like a ridiculous Fool, and jumped in with my Lord Molineux, who whipped up her Belly here in England, and then she got a Pass to go to her husband in France, that he might father the Bantling. My Lord and she are parted since, but how, it is not known; only we hear of great resolutions against Teeming, professing she will venture no more for Children: but we fear she must have one more to please my Lord Broncker. Heigh, now for the nine Worthies, who above all deserve the Breeches, to ride astride to the Devil. And to lead the Van, march courageous young Madam Peterborough, whose Earl is a Wittol, and her father was a cuckold, gramercy old Peterborough. This Lady makes nothing of 3. Gallons of Usquebagh to Mr. Staffords health, and whatsoever the Gentleman lends her, his wife pays him again in the same coin at home, according to my Lady's maxim, which says, she's too much Phlegm, a husband's faults can smother; If he take one, 'tis fit you take another. Next, enter Madam Peter, who was tried by the Prince Elector, and Harry Compton was his Taster. This will neither settle Mr. Vowell's eyes, nor his Conscience; for, he hath liquored her with many a Pot, and toasted her, and she promises much in her cups. Besides her faculty in drink, she is good at all games, but especially at cogging the Die, and the Codpiece. [Though we cannot rank her Aunt (my Lady Mary Sheldon) among the Nine, yet it being pity they should be parted, she may pass for an Appendix, being so fast hung to my Lord Peter, that his Lady rambles without suspicion, and sets down this for a maxim of our Commonweal;] That Ladies when their Lords new loves do mind, Should, in revenge, like Cats unto their kind. 'Twere pity the Third should be left out who ought to have been first in order. Show as confident, as you speak, Mrs. Phil. Mohun, whose Rhetoric is Ribaldry, whose Element is Drink, whose wit is in Bawdry, and whose Beauty is blasted with her own Breath, it being a damp that will kill a Spider. She swears with a bon-grace, makes offensive and defensive War; offensive with Sherwood, whose Lordship is an Ass, defensive with Lenthall, whose courage is wit. This Lady will be sure to match the man, if she knows the length of his weapon. She is often purged, but vows drink is the best Physic, and delivers this maxim; If any thing make women more divine Than men, it must be quick and mighty wine. Make room for the Fourth, (with the new-elected Colonel Corbet) by name Mistress Harris, sister to the forementioned Lady, who neither in quantity, quality, action, Passion, nor any other Predicament, is any whit less remarkable. She hath lived these 30. years in the same extremes that the rest of her Sisters now begin with. Tom. Temple, had never been arrested for the 200 l. if he could have plied her business in earnest, as well as laugh at his own Jests, Let old gouty Ash of the Parliament take heed; for, that in the nose is not so easily cured as that in the Toe, and the Cavalier Corbet, & his Mistress may chance to make him cross Apothecary's Bills, and bawdy reckon, instead of the accounts of the Kingdom. For, after a full beer-glasse, she set down this too for a Maxim. The Members ought, now Cavaliers are poor, If they will share a Mistress, pay the score. The third of the Sisters makes up the fifth of our Worthies. Enter Mistress Cambell, with a pisspot on her head, a pipe in her mouth, & a pintle in her Tail. Ash runs through this Family, as his brother-commoner Howard (known heretofore by the name of Lord Howard) runs through the Family of the Murray's, and hath made most of their Issue free Denizens, being more English then Scotish. We understand by Master Cook's books at the Bear at the Bridg-foot (who must needs be an exact accountant, having been a Committee-man) that from Midsummer to Michaelmas, 100 pound sterl. hath been bestowed by Master Ash upon this Lady, in Wine and Tobacco, to cherish her in the maintenance of her most rare Maxims; of which the chief is, She that with pure Tobacco will not prime Her Nose, can be no Lady of the time. Now for a Worthy in good earnest, my Lady Wild-goose (alias Velledicus, alias Mistress Salkeld) who reckons continency either to husband or Servant, the worst of the seven Deadly Sins; having lately resolved to try all that will try her, though she pass the most fiery trial. Many a sad journey hath she made; but of late two into Scotland, to fit her English measure, according to the Italian with S. Bernard Gascoign. She finds Wine of a rare quality; for it saves the charge of Vermilion for her Beak, being at great expense upon her cheeks. This Lady plays as well at Best as the Beast; drinks well; swears enough for six of the nine, and hath been often a Caterwauling with Sir john Morley. Her Maxim is. 'Tis not enough that Ladies drink, whiff, whore, Except they swear God-dammees by the score. And now since the widows wear the buskins, let them tread the stage boldly; and so enter two more of our Worthies at once, Aunt and Niece, my Presbyterian Lady Stapleton and my Lady Campion the Cavalier, the one Being drunk at the receipt of the news of her husband's death out of France; the other very jolly, with Master Howard of Berkshire in her arms, at the news of her Husband's death at Colchester; and since that, she hath a Rubbers every week with no less than five, for variety. The controversy betwixt these two is, who can drink most, and then they quarrel for the conquest. Tom Temple and Col. jephson are their Seconds; the first of whom lost his hair and the other had like to have lost his one eye, in deciding the business. But what care these Ladies? Their maxim is, She is no Mistress though she rants, drinks, Swears, That doth not set her Servants by the ears. To bring up the Rear of the nine, enter the incomparable Lady of an old Low-countrieses Colonel, by name Cromwell; who hath run through most of the Regiment, both Officers and Soldiers. Since her coming to England, she hath traded never a jot the less in the low-countries; loves Wine, and of all Wine, Sack in Glasses; and of all Glasses, Beer-Glasses. She keeps a free Port for all Merchants, and trucks with all Languages and Nations. She is controller of the Club among the Ladies; is excellent at the beginning of health's, viz. To the best— in Christendom, and at the ending of stories, for, she fits them all with a bawdy Comment. She is Honoured with the title of Lady-Governesse to the three illustrious Sister Worthies, Mistress Mohun, Mistress Harris, and Mistress Cambell, her chief design is to reconcile and compose all differences betwixt the two former, and then when these four are together, there will be a society for the * The Devil Tavern. DEVIL, their Maxim being this; They're fools that will not these examples follow, And once a week meet at the great APOLLO. If any of these Ladies want a powdered and patched old fool to wait upon Them, let them send to my L. North, whose Coach and himself will be ready at a Call; especially if it be upon a visit to my Lady Kent's about supper time, where they are all upon Freequarter. By way of conclusion we are in the last place to give notice of certain Ladies, called Coursers, whose Recreation lies very much upon the New Exchange about 6. a clock at night; where you may fit yourself with ware of all sorts and sizes. But take heed of my Lady Sandy's; for, she sweeps the Exchange, like a Chained Bullet, with Mr. Howard in one hand and Fitz james in the other. There is my Lady Katherine Scot with Mr. Salkeld. The new widow Sandys with Col. Bredridge. The Lady Montague with Mr. Brown. The 2. Mrs. Skipwiths, with Sir john Morley. Mrs. Wintour in contemplation of David Walter. Mrs. Kirk with Col. Rainsford. The Lady Mary Sheldon with Mr. Vowel. Mrs. Luson and Sir Thomas Sandys. The Lord Blaney and Mrs. Roper, The Lord Middlesex and the Lady Thimblebee. Mrs. Wild and Mr. Touchet. The Lady Crompton and Mr. Cranfield. Mrs. Wenman and my Lord Denbigh. The Lady Cary and Dudley Sonds. Mrs. Crew and Mr. Broncker. Mrs. Finch for a Whiffler. Mrs. Jones and George Colt, and sometimes Mr. Coghill. Mrs. Kingsmell all alone. The Corbet Family with who they can get. The Lady Fulgeum with the Lord Northampton. The Lady Peter and the Lord North. The Lady Downs and the Lord Sherwood. The 7. Sisters of the Lord Sandys, and the four Mistress Somes', very fleet Coursers. The Lady Norton and Mr. Edward's. Sir Thomas Longevile hopping before twenty women, and the Lord Windsor, Cum multis aliis, quas nunc perscribere longum est. These, and many more you may buy; but beware you repent not your Bargain. In our next Annals (if the humour hold) we will give you a more particular Relation. In the mean time, God bless the Authors from the Blades that swagger; From Poison, Pistol, from the sword and dagger. A Postscript to the intelligent Readers. Martialis lib. 6. Epig. 45. Lusistis, satis est; lascivi cedite Cunni: Permissa est vobis non nisi casta Venus. Lib. 5. Epig. 6●. Crispulus iste quis est, uxori semper adhaeret Qui Mariane, tuae? Crispulus iste quis est? Nescio quid dominae teneram qui garrit inaurem, Et Sellam cubito dexteriore premit? Nil mihi respondes? uxoris res agit, inquis, Iste meae.— Res uxoris agit? res nullas Crispulus iste: Res non uxoris, res agit iste tuas. Lib. 7. Epig. 9. .ad Olum. Centenis futuit Matho millibus: Ole, quid ad te? Illud dissimulas ad te quod pertinet, Ole, Quodque magis curae convenit esse tuae. Uxor Maecha tibi est: hoc, ad te pertinet. Ole. Sed quid agas, ad me pertinet, Ole, nihil. Lib. 9 Epig. 42. Pontice, quòd nunquàm futuis, sed pellice laeuâ Uteris, & veneri servit amica manus: Hoc nihil esse putas? scelus est, mihi crede, sed ingens, Quantum vix animo concipis ipse tuo. Ipsam, crede mihi, naturam dicere rerum; I stud quod digitis, Pontice, perdis, homo est. Lib. 11. Epig. 23. Divisit natura mares; pars una puellis, Una viris genita est: ut ere parte tuâ. FINIS.