A New CASE Put to an Old LAWYER, OR, Lawyers look about you, FOR The Case is altered quoth Ployden.  
At a conference held by Prag a slitter of Causes, and Prog an Attorneys Clerk of the one party, and Boldface a Barrater; Alias a Bargisters Puny, and Hold-Case a Dependant to the Chancery, of the other part.  
CONCERNING Those two honourable and conscientious Courts, viz. Committees of Grievances and of Referrees; where causes are ended with all speed, and without Bribes or Fees, to the grief of most Lawyers and their Clarks.  
LONDON; Printed for William Ley, and are to be sold at his shop at Pauls-Chane, 1656.   

A NEW CASE Put to an Old Lawyer, etc.  Prag. 
BRother Prog, welcome to Town from the Western Circuit; you have had a fine time to range about the Countries, and to fill your pockets with nice prize Moneys, and such Law trinkets at the Country Sizes; you have had a good Harvest, I hope, you look so brisk.  Prog. 
Brother, 'tis good making Hay while the Sun shines: I have been (as you say) compassing the earth, and I had pro selytes wheresoever I came; my old Mr. Bateman who has been an old Fox in the Kennel of the Law, had his hands full of Trials, and then I could not want Fees, Prag, and I made no scruple of conscience to swallow them, all was Fish that came to our Nets, and we Fish in troubled Waters; the Country-Hobs brought in Tribute to us, and swarmed at the Assizes like Flies about a Honeypot; when they hear of a Tax or a Prize Money, they hum, and mumble and grumble, but sure they take us for their Saveall's, as indeed we are, for we prick them on fast to our sleeves till they end in a snuff and spend all they have: I till thee they care not how the Plough goes, but how their Writs and Subpaenaes' take: Our Writings they take for Canonical: by our Tricks in Law we can fetch out their Crowns, and make their Angels fly into our pockets clean out of their sight: I found special gleaning there after my Mrs. Raking, but that Harvest is gone till Mid-Lent come. Well, shall we dissolve a little Fee or a Bribe into Canary at our Meeting?  Prog. 
I'll go with you because we shall meet our Brothers, Boldface and Hold-Case at the Devil by St. Dunstan's, and there we'll confer together, for I have matter of Importance to declare to you.  Pr●g. 
Content; for I would hear some News; the next Client shall be sure to pay for our Mirth, and therefore we will be free: We know how to cut large thongs of other sides: I tell the Prag, our Profession is the sublimest part of high Mystery; there are divers hard Landlords who squeeze their Tenants by Rack Rents, but we not only distrain the Tenants Purses, but we extract the very Landlords blood and Lands, and whole Lordships by our scribbling on a tenterd Sheepskin.  Prag. 
'Tis so, Brother Prog, for my Suitor old Mr. Holdfast has told me, that when he first knew how to make an Indenture, and a old Noverint Universi, he had but one four pence half penny i'th' house, & owed his Landlord a whole years Rend of 6. s. 8. d. for his Cottage, and had but one poor Hock-Bed for himself and three children, and that without Sheets; and was glad of an old Sheehead and Gather with a three penny Barley Loaf once in a week, and neither Horse nor Cow, Cock nor Hen, and yet by living near to a Market Town he pretending his Skill to the Law, did by his little Skill make a shift in two years to pick up half twenty pounds, and with some of that got him a black Cloak with a Velvet Cape, a one-eard spavined Horse, and a buckram bag with three Causes in it, and came up at the Term time as brisk as an old Fox in a Doublet, and sped his Causes, and returned again with looks and Language among the Country Bumpkins as lofty as if he had been one of the Masters of the Chancery, or a Sergeant at Law, and in twenty year's space writes Esquire, and possesses 1000 l. per Ann. keeps his Coach and four Horses, fares like a Prince. And I that am but one of the whelps of that Litter, yet you see how I am maintained under him till I be ready to prog for myself: And I am a pretty expert Setter at the Game already; one Michaelmas Term more, and another Circuit will flesh me for prey, and I have Talons and Appetite eager as a Sparhawk to seize a Client.  Prog. 
See, yonder come our Fellows, birds of Prey and the same Feather; true Voragoes; excellent Horseleeches; special Sponges; dextrous Pick-Pockets; nimble Rook●; their tongues are as nimble as their fingers, and both as nimble as an Eels tail: Come, let's bear near up to'm to know how the rack rides. Fitly met Comrades; how stands the Case with you you two?  Boldface. 
Well, for we feel no want; the Country was fat and full against our coming, and we laid aboard stoutly; we had special Supporters met us wherever we sojourned, we opened the Country men's cases and Capons, happy was he that could first present us with fat fees; we began to suspect that they got their money noughtilie they were so earnest to part with them: They murmur at their Landlords, and mutter at their Parsons, and curse their Collectors of Taxes, but dare not vent a syllable against our Politicians of the Law; we have the length of their feet; and what shift soever they make for the other three sorts of Drawers, they will be sure not to starve their Lawyers; we have them at our Devotion; when they offer a case to us, they are sure to pay and to pray to. But why prate we here? let's into our Harbour, and show the Vintner's Gallyfoists that 'tis no vocation with us; but we by the help of the Summer's vagary at the Northern Assizes, can be as jovial as in the midst of Michaelmas Term.  Hold-Case. 
Tut, why stay we here? I'll enter, and it shall be a Leather-Doublets Fee that I intent to digest in good Sack amongst you; I'll ne'er demur upon it; comes Fellows; I hope you will not stay till you be subpaenaed into the Court: Here's special Sack that's a sufficient lure to draw in, and as birdlime, and catch Game. I tell you Comrades, that the day is our own. the Parson dare not come near to peep into a Tavern for fear of scandal, and the Soldier's Pay will not reach it; and the Citizens what by paying of Taxes decay of Trading, and finding their Wives rich clothes for their pride, seldom adventure into Taverns; and when they do, alas 'tis half a pint, Club, and away to their Shops; so that we and our Clients have the only preferment to drink Wine and truly we may well do it, because it comes on free cost to us; and our Clients take a price in paying, because they hope we will the sooner further their cause: Is not this true my blades? And therefore let's enjoy ourselves without melancholy?  Boldface. 
Hang melancholy, our Fortune's fall to our hands: It's enough for old sequestered Parsons, and decayed Esquires, and Knights who have lost their Estates, for their consciences to be dull and melanchollick; but wiser then so; we are of that Tribe who can sell conscience; and if it come to be debated either to part with our moneys or our conscience, we know which shall be first thrust out of doors; and for certain, Westminster-Hall and Lawyers Chambers are not fit places for conscience to set up her Trade in. Was she not banished out of England? If she be not there's no abiding for her in our Purfues or Jurisdictions. I am sure there has been many Declarations, and Judgements, and Executions against her, and many motes and private debates to cast out her Suits; and if at any time 'tis admitted, it appears in Forma pauperis, and that's merely pro forma, for fashion sake, to make a mock of her; and indeed, 'tis a good Precedent all that come to us in hope to speed, to come well lined with Cash more than conscience. Pish, let's not talk more of her, for she's at best but an old stolen Lady out of fashion and favour too. Come now, let's discourse of some News, Brother Prag, you said you had some matter of consequence to be heard; out with it we pray you, and lets all partake of it.  Prag. 
Truly so I fear you will before you would; for I have been plodding and contriving how to avoid or overthrow it, for I love it as Cats love Mustard, or as the Devil loves Holy-Water; it makes my hair bristle when I think on't; all my my hopes are, that are too good to continue long. I believe you heard of them at the Country Assizes, they are called the Committee for References; People are mainly taken with them, and speak high in their commendation, and that they do a world of good to Debtors and Prisoners, and all that are vexed with Chancery Suits etc. and tedious Lawcases for they do that in an Afternoon which we hang and draw out in Chancery six or seven years; ye know all what fine fetches we have to spin out a cause in any of our Coverts and Cages.  Bold-Faco. 
Well, is this the News and certain, does it so startle you that it makes you look as if you were possessed with Essex, or a Kentish-Ague? It frights you as if you was served with a Warrant for Jamaica or Hispaniola. Come, come, let's pass off the thoughts of it, for it makes you look as if you had the Yellows, or black-Jaundies: Hang't, it will cause you to fall into a Consumption, and to end your days as Judas, in despair and a halter; for my part, I love no such Purgation, though I confess there's many have taven a turn and one slip out of the world, for less Villainies than we are guilty of, for we rob more in our chambers then they do upon the highway: Lawyers and their Clarks are as dangerous for men's purses as Dr. Nicholas Clarks; our Pens are as bad as their Pistols; for they make men only to stand, but we make them to fall: A Hare has not more Muses than we have sleights, traverses, compassings, wind, turn, wheelings, falsifyings, broils and turmoils in our Game at Law: Will. the Conqueror was our good Founder, and all the Rings have been special Benefactors to our cunning Society and who knows but that the Arch-Bishops and Bishops, and all the old Priests followed our Courts with constant fee, and were excellently versed in our Muse; nay, the poor Curates of 10 l. per ann. would sue at Law for tithe Eggs, or Geese, or for two penny offerings: At Easter Westminster-Hall and all our Inns swarmed with that Tribe of Levi, but since the Reformation they are poor, and now are quiet by force: Cursed Gows have short horns; the Presbyters teeth water to be in our Court, but that they dare not for fear of scandal or ejection: Well, for my part if all agree to it since we have pretty well wetted our whistels, let's hear this matter, and debate on it.  Hold-Case, alias Long-Suit. 
Agreed, it stands us upon; for if they stand, we fall; and if they come in, we must pack out; but yet they will find more to rout us and root us up, than they did by civil Lawyers, Doctors and Proctors, or then they did of the old Prelates, Bishops, Deans, Chapiters', Arch-Deacons and their Officials; we have stronger Forts than theirs, we're Juro Divino; we'll find them a little more Play; our Dependencies and Relations are firmer, and knit and tied Legaliter by Law, yes Statute Law: If we look to our friends Sublime and tough for Law, what say you to that, vast Nest of Wasps, and-Hornets, and Horseleeches, Attorneys, Solicitors and their Clarks, with Scriveners, Indenture-makers, and other Hanibies? Besides, my noble Slaves, Have we not in all the Countries Under Sheriffs and Bailiffs, and Bums, Informers, and Setters, and Promoters; which are as so many Decoys, Cheats, and mere Petty fogging Forsts, and Hackney-Jades for us and our Masters to ride on at our Pleasure?  Prag. 
Handsomely and dextrously pleaded Brother Hold-Case, thou mayest, if the Chancery-court continues in its highness, come to be one of the Masters, for thou hast those qualities that advances men of that Robe of subtlety, Eloquence and Confidence; and now pray hear what I think of those that are commonly called REFERREES, I do not say but that the men are noble, and honest, and fit Instruments for honest Employments, and act according to equity and a good conscience; but what's that to us, or what need we be afraid of their Court? for I tell you merry blades, that alas they take but our leave, and meddle only with poor Petitioners which we have long ago had the pulling of, and because they had no more feathers, were not worth our consideration, and so were either hung up as dead flies, and fowls in our Courts, or else they meddle with such cases and persons whose Creditors have arrested and laid up in a Counter, or some other of the Devils Purlieuses, for moneys which they (being in Law) borrowed to feed us withal, and they being spent, what care we what becomes of them; for he or they that come amongst us when all their Angels are flown, may do as those who come to see a Play without money, they might stand without to be laughed at, but should not come in to hear or see how the game is played: I tell you the truth, I went one day to be a Spectator and a hearer at White-Hall, and at first entrance I spied two or three of old Mr. Squeeze-Purses Clients, and three or four of Sergeant Horseleeches decayed followers, who looked as though they had been Prison-powdered, and were as you know, in such a Term outsworn by two or three of the old Velvet-Doublet-Knights of the Post, because they wanted moneys to fee and to feed the two cormorants any longer; their Petitions were not (as they might and should indeed have been) made against the Lawyers, but against their merciless Creditors, and so they had their freedom from imprisonment, paying some little pittance from out of their weekly labour to their creditors; for we pulled and eat the two Geese, and the creditors got a Feather; some of them indeed said that they had been 10. 12. years in the Chancery, and I know not how long before at the Common Law. And at those words I thought and doubted I should have heard some of Committee censure, the proceed of our Courts, but they did not speak any thing to that, but bad the poor sneaks be diligent in Labour, and careful to pay their Creditors as God should enable; and added in the end, Come no more into Law, nor meddle not with Lawyers, etc. and so dismissed them; and what hurt is all this to us? I add one thing more to comfort us; Alas good souls! they do sit, 'tis true, and are judicious persons; but they have no power to bind or lose, or to determine a cause, or force any to stand to their Orders or Determinations; persuade they may, but not command obedience to their Decrees; and it is a doubt whether all that they have done be availing and binding; or whether they sit now in Parliament time; there is a buzzing and flying rumour, but 'tis no more that they shall be confirmed, and have power to act by Authority of Parliament; it may be so; what then? I'll declare to you my judgement (sly slaves) in this particular, not to disparage ourselves, but to our comfort, Are there any hopes that such a conscientious Court of Equity and Charity should be now erected and established de Novo? Who will plead for it? or petition to any purpose to obtain it? First, not the Commissioners themselves; for 'tis a toil and trouble to them and spends their Spirits, their time and their moneys too, for they have but their labour for their pain and hard language, and deep censures by too many of the Creditors for their good intentions, & their place is imposed upon them, they never sought it; and what hopes are there I say, that such a noble, just, and upright a Court as this is should continue long, there being no Fees or means of Maintenance, and the men themselves are so generous and Christianly spirited, that they scorn (that which our Tribe most love) fat and frequent bribes, and daily Fees.  
And further I say, if a company of poor, desperate and forlorn Prisoners and Debtors should come and hang about the Parliament for the settlement of such a Court, is it not first extrajudicial? May it not seem to tend to innovation in the State, to introduce and establish a new Law? to be sure the Petitioners will be (being poor) sonndly checked; for have not our Masters and Lords a great voice in the House? and do you think that ever such a Petition will be granted as long as they sit there? it being so contrary to our practice and profit, and tending to the almost subversion? however to be a check and curb to all our Inns of Court, and so not likely to pass current.  
But to put the question one stop further, if it should, which I never fear it will, yet I warrant you our Grandees will have the ordering of it, and the Committee of REFERREES must be referred to them to State and Model; and they'll be sure to put in Objections enough against it, to demur to perfect it; and when 'tis done it shall not want cautions, provisoes, and restrants, as I could name some.  


1. That it should not infringe the ancient Privileges of any Court of Law established nor any old Lawyers.  
2. That it should not bind any from Appeals to our higher Courts if the parties have Moneys.  
3. They should not meddle in Arduis in hard Cases nor in rich men's Causes, but in trivial poor Cases.  
4. That they should not sit of themselves, but to have some of our Tribe to join with them to spy out their intentions, and to give early intelligence to our Masters.  
5. That all Clients who would come in there, should first be well pulled and fleeced by us who will be careful that they shall come poor enough amongst them.  
6. That they shall sit but once in seven years, and that in a forenoon, and to lose their dinner for their pains.  
7. That before they sit they shall petition for leave of the Masters of the Chancery, or some others well affected to the Law, and to have the Just Approbation of 300. Sergeants, Eenchers and Barresters: 500 old lean faced Attorneys; and some 2000 of our younger Fry-Clarks and such Sherks; there are other jerks and quirks for them, but these my nimble Pate thinks fit for our good. And now I pray tell me my jovial hearts, what reason have we to be afraid of such improbable, and almost impossible News; hang't, let's have th'other cup of Sack.    Prag. 
Admirably well pleaded arguing a sublime and zealous spirit for advance of the Law; and I tell you, I could wish thy speech were presented to some chief Officers; and I hold it sitting, if we intent our own good, to petition some of our Grandees to endeavour to stop such petition if it should come in; for though I am glad to hear what is spoken on our behalf; yet I assure I doubt it much that such a thing may be effected, which I do for these reasons following:  
1. We all know that we are hated of all men, and not without cause; as for our fees, and bribes, and deferring, and demurring in men's causes, and suffering, and procuring their Ruin, and we are cursed as Foxes for woorying Lambs.  
2. We are generally envied for our wealth; and many of us, if not most of us, are suspected not to favour this present thing called Government, our affections are of another bent: and then many of us have been of those creatures that are called Delinquents and Mags, etc. and the world knows we are settled on the Lees, and deserve a purgation. I know some great ones that fear night and day, and expect a change, and think they have seen their best days.  
3. That Court of REFERREES is known so much already and applauded, they are judicious godly men, generally reputed such as are men of courage, fearing God, and hating covetousness, and so unreprovable; they covet not (as we do too much) any man's silver or gold: And then they are men that have swords by their sides, and great supporters and then they do all (which we never did care to do) for conscience and charity; and then (I speak it with grief) 'tis a more honourable, necessary, and a juster course & Court then ever we intended to hare set up: What think you these my masters speak truth (which we seldom do) May it not be set up think you?  Boldface. 
Hang such puny spirits, I think you are turned Quaker; for my part I see nothing as yet to fear, for men come as fast into nets as ever they did: All men knows not of that Committee, and I intent to hinder it as much as I can; I love it as I do sour Ale in Summer, or as Wasps do a Tar-Pot: However the fattest Oxen will be sure to go first to the Slaughter-House; such poor squitterlings and dwinderlings as we are not regarded or looked upon; and to be sure if I ever be brought into question; I'll do by my old rich Masters as Dr. Duck did by the little Arch-Piship of Cant lay all the faults, and corruptions, and deceits, on their shoulders, and many of them will bear a stout brunt; they are well lined, and know their shifts and their falsehoods; if they do not, let them suffer for their faults, for they deserve it.  Prag. 
Nay, there's more in't then so, for you cannot choose but hear how the Parliament hath set up an honourable Committee for Grievances; and if they should be strict to relieve Petitioners, I doubt many of our Tribe will be fetched in to answer for our former iniquities; however they will ease us of many Clients; for sure men will leave our Courts where they have been so hurried and wooryed, and apply themselves there where they are sure to find men of conscience to determine their business without Fees or under feelings; what think you of this news? I doubt a poor Michaelmas Term: I protest it puts me to such shrugs, that I am as afraid to be brought in to their Court, as a Spaniard does to see an English Frigate: And truly I have been so much used to the Art of drawing, draining and purloining men's Pockets, that I had rather steal then beg; and work is counted so poor and base, that I had rather hang than labour: and for to be a Soldier and fight for 5. s. alas! Lawyers know how to make men jar and quarrel, but love not to come into danger themselves: I never read of any Lord General or stout Soldier was bred up a Lawyer; Scholars indeed to often venture to the Wars, and prove good Commanders, for poverty forces them out; but as for our Society, the rattling Drums passing but by a window, shake my spirits so, that they make my hand write as though I had the Palsy in my joints: If our Trade thrives not, I'll turn a Gentleman's Bailiff, or some Informer to a covetous Landlord, or else get into a Country Belfree and teach rimmer & Accidence Boys for 2. d. poe week. I am looking to provide against a storm, for I doubt it will fall before we think on't.  Prog. 
Well Brother Prag, I doubt 'tis too true as you have spoken: I must confess, (though you know we love it not) that our Profession is generally corrupted, there's few honest or upright Practitioners amongst us: Thou knowest that CuRSITORS OFFICE, Oh! 'tis a subtle deluding Covert of politic Rooks; there's a knot of FERRITS and POLECATS, shalt know how to; hunt their GAME into their CONY-BOROUGHS, and there woory them to the purpose: we have other most intricate and exquisite coops and cages to keep young Suitors fast in also: Ah! 'twas a fine time for our trade when Court-hand writing, and bald curtailed Latin Writs were all in fashion; whenas no Vicar, or Parson, or Curate could expound it, but the Under-Sheriff, or some old Attorney in a whole county could tell what to make of our Writs and Warrants; the country people would stare at a Subpaena, at if it had been a spell made by an old conjurer; and when it was politicly and powerfully pronounced and served, would so startle the poor Farmers, that their ghastly looks when they come home would frighten their wives, and so scare their very cows, that they would be horn mad to see their Master look as if he were run out of his wits; he comes home so masked, that he fetches his poor  and horses straw for hay, and chaff for corn.  Hold-case. 
Well my trusty Trojans, you have uttered your Judgements, and I have heard the case opened; & I hope 'twil be as my Brother Prog hath spoken, that is, That we are so many, and so strongly rooted, that we shall not easily be routed; and yet I confess the sitting of the Parliament a little startles me, for I saw it in the last Politicus, that they are about to oversee us; but may not two or three hundred thousand pounds purchase our freedom? Such a sum or a greater may be quickly gathered up in all our quarters and divisions; and good store of moneys has a strong influence among us, I am sure they have: And such a sum what is it amongst so many? Ha' my hearts! When I consider our numbers and riches, even us here in and about London and Westminster, such a sum is nothing: Homer does not more tightly number up the Ships that sailed to Troy, than I can do our Brigades and our Palaces; as to give you a short recital of them, in London there's tha● strong and spacious Guildhall, Oh what bawling, and squalling, and misealling, and brawling may you hear there four days in the week! Oh! there is special trading: quick returns, nimble Catchpoles, sure tenterhooks of our side, but leave them & come to our end of the Town, and there have we not first two Temples well replenished, not a Chamben empty; there's that notorious walk for the Knights of Post, who trudge round the pillars like old blind Mill-horses, and indeed do deserve a sound lash for their work. What think you of Sergeants Inn well seated and stored, especially in a full term time: There's also Lincolns-Inne, and Grays-inn, two grand Societies for practice and profit: Have we not also Davies-Inne, Bernards-Inne, Purnivals-Inn, Staples-Inn, Claffords-Inne, Clements, Inn, Lyons-Inn, New Inn, etc. For Offices how many; as Cursisters Office, six Clarks Office, with— all foully full. There is enough of us in all these places, and in all England besides, that if our hearts were as stout as our heads are crafty, might of ourselves engage the Spaniard, and if we were put to it, could (propriis sumptibus) maintain the weight and charges of that War. Now my sure Trout, can you fear such a thing as our decay of Trade, or a bousting of us from our places: 'tis true, we are as bad as bad can be, but will not our moneys (think you) stand us in stead when we shall be put to it? this, this is my hopes, and if this fail, I give all for lost except I can support my Fortunes by joining with some old widow in the Country, and to get an old house over my head, and feed upon lusty bag-puddings, and old reezed Bacon; some way or other I must invent, for I had rather be advanced in a snickle, then to go a shit-board in one of our Frigates; Cannon Bullets are hard cases to digest; they bawl far louder than any Attorneys or Councillors do in Westminster-Hall; Our Tribe has been long on multiplication; we are like Frogs, Locusts and Caterpillars, for number, and if we taught the Rule of Reduction, (which is but fitting) I am sure I shall out for one; but it anger's me most to think how all sorts of people will laugh at us, and stont us, none will pity us, so that I shall be ashamed almost to see my own face in a glass.  Boldface. 
Well Gentlemen, let me speak my mind, & in a word or two, and so at present let's part; I say, that I doubt: our numbers are like our abuses, too too many; every one does so exclaim against us, especially for our pride, being but inferior Clarks, and yet our legs are set out with silk Stockings, and Spanish shoes, with our Ribans of all colours and beauties, our cloth of the purest cloth, if not Silks, with our heads presumed, and curled, and crisped, with Rings of Gold in our Bandstrings, O this wasteful garb in our attire, makes all men to hate us, and desire that we may be well fleeced as we have done others, and therefore let's comfort ourselves with t'other cup of Sack, for I fear that a day of reckoning is approaching against our numbers and manners; and if so, we may be glad of a cup of six shilling-beer, and a piece of monkey Suffolk-Cheese for our Dinners: And this I do add to all the rest, if we do suffer we cannot excuse ourselves, or accuse others; and so I am resolved to endure the worst and say nothing, for we have our deserts come what will.  
FINIS.