Oxonii Lachrymae, Rachel weeping for her Children. Or, a Pathetical RELATION OF The present Grievances of the late famous University of OXFORD. Wherein you have Her unjust sufferings manifested. The Authors of Her miseries Characterised. And. The ejected Loyalists nominated. Presented in a Letter from an Oxford Scholar (not yet exiled) to his friend a Gentleman of Grays-inn. LONDON, Printed in the year, 1649. SIR, When the Roman Senate held consultation how to rid their Country of the subtle Carthaginian, that had fretted like a canker the beauty of Italy; Fabius upon the motion to make war in afric, thought it agreeable to nature, first to defend their own, before they attempted other men's possessions; when Peace is established in Italy, then let War be set on foot in afric; First let us be without fear our selves, ere we go about to terrify others: This sage advice Scipio could by no means digest; but vigorously pursued those hot-brain resolutions which vainglory and ambition had suggested unto him; ever opposing his Motto to the Senators arguments; Plas animi est inferentiquam propulsants injuriam. Such Scipio-like Hero's our Land affords, whose implacable malice to their Neighours hath overtopped the affection they own unto themselves, and made them neglect the procurement of their own safety to effect the utter ruin of their brethren. Of this sort those petty Nimrods', which stile themselves our Reformers, are not the meanest; who transported with fury (mistaken by the vulgar for holy zeal) have lately endeavoured to disinherit the Muses, and brought an odium upon our chaste Mother, for that she sometimes fostered such spurious Bratis. These like Erostratus, must needs have their names recorded to posterity, though purchased by the destruction. of Church or University. They measure every man's cloth by their own yard, and because the Loyalists conscience is not so cheverill as to yield unto their cursed Proposals, they have a Minando minnemur wherewith to cured him; and if he remain obstinate (as they term it) a Resolved upon the Question to cashier him; This is the Method wherein they have moulded their hellish designs, and proceeded without fear or wit, to the raising of what ever was Religious or Learned amongst us: only this we see some few Pillars (by indulgence) remaining, which yet are made useless for supportation, and stand as bewailed Monuments of a once stately Fabric; nor can we think they will be of long continuance, since their White Boys flock hither a pace with Spades and Mattocks of silver to clear the Foundation. Oh what a glorious building are they now erecting I Yes sure, an●ther Babel for the honour of their Dignities, wherein nothing but Tche and Bohu, is like to have its habitation. I have not an expression adequate to their iniquity, nor can I refer you to a Parallel of their villainy; for indeed, the honour of our Reformers depending upon the Superlative degree, hath sought out Projects beyond equality. By what I have now hinted, you may partly guess at our desolations since your departure, and how unanimously we have adhered to our just and well grounded Principles you are not ignorant. The virtue we make use of in qualifying our affliction, may happily one day serve to moderate our felicities. However, I am most assured, we shall remain constant even amongst public ruins, and that Fortune cannot bereave us, of what she never could bequeath unto us. But I have detained you too long from what you were pleased to request of me: to wit, an account of those which could not be frighted into Disloyalty, and have suffered banishment for this their resolution. I shall therefore by the way point our unto you the comical Actors of our Tragedy, and in fine refer you to the Catalogue. First then, The Leader of this jovial Crew is Mr. Reynolds, the mock Vicechancellor, and in him you may behold into what extremities Ambition can drive her thirsty Favourites, by suppressing the better faculties of the soul, and setting such unbridled motions on foot as carry men headlong into most desperate attempts. This is that 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 which not long since hung in aquilibrio, and waited only for a grain of success to turn the scales. Loath he was to nauseat his reputation by actions, so much repugnant to his professions, till baited with Cheynell's execration of his detestable neutrality, and Pembroke his proffer of the Imperial Chair. So thus being centred, he rests in quiet, and protests (if Episcopacy revive not) to remain immovable; herein much resembling the Lion, which being found by hunters in a Cave, will rather die in the place then quit it, for shame that he was caught in so disgraceful a Refuge, and therefore his property is thus expreft, Ingredieudo coecus, exeundo protervus. Next him in dignity comes Sir Nathaniel Brent; a precious Gentleman indeed, of incomparable valour, that would adventure to to lift the Moon out of the sphere, if she should continue in it five weeks without changing. Me thinks he acts his part like wavering Varro, transacting business for Pompey in Spain, who quickly un-loaded himself of that fidelity he vowed unto himself, so soon as he had Intelligence that Caesar was master of the field: Or just like the Weathercock, whereof there is no other use, but indicare regnantem. You may easily compute the rise of his Apostasy, by the down-fall of the High Commission Court, and his Great Master, and thus Ex corruption 〈◊〉 pessimum generatur. His Crown, some think, is very well prepared to ma●● 〈◊〉 Bowling-Alley; but for my part, (with submission to the judicious) I conceive, 'tis much better fitted for a Kettledrum, to incite Captain Cheynell and his Cuirassieers, when eminent designs do call them upon duty; For if we believe that greatest sounds proceed from vacuity, I know no impediment why it may not be superexcellent for this service. Not fare behind him appears Dr. Wilkinson, or the two legged Crow, A great Coxcomicall Ninnie, as fit to regulate an University, as able to rule his Wife. Yea, this is her principal chamber-Clerk. who for sureness ever duplicates his fiat, Amen Amen, Kare. And no mervell he's so ready to perform double duty, since she rewards him so fally with plumb-pottage, and Sugar-sops. You would think this Athenian Owl, another Aristotle if you should face him; but Barba Philosophum is very fallible, and many (you know) have more hair then wit. He was better employed when he epitomised Zaharell at length, and taught him to contradict himself in Manuscript. At this Gander's heels followeth a Worthy of fewer years, but more Hypocrisy, Mr. Harris of Hamwell. And in him you may see avarice accompanying the coutteous to his grave. He holds Pluralities incompatible in another, but hath a trick to preserve them in himself. Benifi●es he possesseth well nigh a dozen, but alas! good man, (take his Apology to●) he receives not above half the profits, which makes him envy Grim●●ool● that Argus of Brasennose) his happiness, who tells him, 'tis true, he has title but to one Personage though he enjoys the benefits of many. After him comes hog-rubber Rogers creeping. This is Golledge the Tub-man's Corporall, or the New-inn Scarecrow, the very man that was in F●e with his Physician for granting him a Dispensation from preaching at St. Mary's. But oh the Sovereign operation of a Sanctified Canon-ship, which has untied his tongue, and makes him (once a quarter) confute Bellarmin with admirable stolidity. Yea, this is mine Host Gaius, the spiritual Baboon, good for nothing we can discover, but to be baited, that his Swoat may serve for Cundle-grease to light the black Junto in Sir Nathaniel's Parlour. Hard at this Simpleton's heels marcheth a Zealot, (as you may discern by his flaming nose,) the thrice noble Frank Cheynell. This, this is the man of mettle, steel to the back, Dictator perpetuus the Chairman virtually at every Session, whose 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 goes for canonical, and strikes his Vicechancellourship as mute as a marble Niobe, A mad-sparke, indeed, who (not long ago) was whipped into his wits, and therefore thinks to persecute the honest party into obedience, to dance his Galliard. This is Michael Oldsworth, elder brother pro tempore, which led the Lord Wise-acre by the bill ad placitum, and read an Orthography Lecture to his unworthiness in Wadi●am Celledge H●ll. He would fain be styled Malleus H●reticorum, the Orthodox Divine 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 who for a while disorged whole Anathemat's against the Independent Vermin, as he terms them▪ but now the Tortes retreats into his shell; Oh how labours he to stay their hands, with a present, and stop the●r mouths with a Capon-leg! But surely Mr. Kelsay and his Creatures are more spiritual then to be alured with such carnal temptations. In brief, this is the grand Archimedes, (who if success should second his designs) would show you in a trice the Antipodes of Church and State. Of this holy San●drim Rabbi, Wilkinson (now Vice (alias vicious) Presidet of Magdalen College) brings up the Rear. This is the quondum dormouse sneaking under Paul's, now Cheynell's stout second in every Combat. He can willingly dispense with a cap or congey to gain a Proselyte, and affects treading softly to procure an opinion of cordial integrity: But, Antipater intus purpuratus, his tumors and ebullitions are sound arguments of rottenness. Nor can we much admire that he is so viperous to our common Mother, for that he w●s lately so unnatural to his dying Father; who dehorting him from these unjust and malicious practices, had this answer with indignation returned; Sir, alas, you are in your dotage and must be pardoned. This is one amongst the six Apostles which presseth our Academics to lay aside their parts and reason, where himself (in St. Mary's) afforded us a pattern; who having provided a discourse upon this text (1 Tim. 2.4.) Who would have all men be saved and come to the knowledge of the truth; for his more methodical proceeding, did thus divide it, viz. into an universal Affirmative, and a particular Negative. A piece of Logic, which (I conceive) would have sounded harshly, but that at present it is very much in fashion. Now Sir, it being inconsistent with the honour of those Grandees to go without Attendants, I shall therefore add their Appeadies or chief Gentlemen to the train, and they are two; the one is Langley, a Novice, Oh w●●● canno● move whee●● this 〈…〉 etc. run so giddy in his wheels, that he usually stuffs his Pulpit-peece with rare hyperbolical Nonsense; and this, that we may the more admire him, and indeed we do. But if further you should trace his steps into his haunts, and there see him dance the Canaries, or cut his Capers amongst his Doxies, you would straightway conclude him of the Pembrochian-line, or (which comes near it) that most of what he is, hath sunk into his heels. The other is Cornish, the same that disturbed the memorable Disputations at the Scruple Office in St. Peter's Oxon; and for this he is elected Cannon of Christ-Church, and Probationer-Reformer. In truth, a worthy tautological D●vine, witness his remarkable expression of Sa●pson his destroying the Philistines. And he pulled the House down upon all and some, and some and all, and all and some together. I have some thing else to say concerning him, but I forbear, because I am informed, Mrs. Carnish (to say no more) is a Christian. Thus have I presented our Gallants to your view, It remains therefore that I satisfy your desires in the last particular, which (in order) I have here set down for your perusal. loyalists expelled out of Christ Church College. Magdalen College. Dr. Fell, Deane, Dr. Hammond Canon. Dr. pain Canon. Dr. Morley Canon. Dr. Isle's Canon. Dr. Gardiner Canon. Dr. maine. Mr, Terrent. Mr. How Mr. Dorell Mr. Townsan Mr. Alestree Mr. Carick Mr. Wareing, junior Mr. Staninough. Mr. Dolbin Mr. Hill Mr Smith Mr Hilman Mr Hill jun. Mr Whitehall Mr Jackson M● Lowther Mr I. Luellin Mr Vnderood Mr Byans Mr Norgate Mr Conopeus Mr Weaver Mr Littleton Mr Nicholas Mr Love Mr caryl Mr Heath Dr Oliver Precedent. Mr Foreman Mr Law Mr Drop Mr Taylour Mr Clutterbook Mr Pierce Mr Holding Mr Chyles Mr Drake Mr Brown Mr Nicholson Mr Serle Mr Yerbury Mr Exton Mr Horn Mr Alexander Mr Duncomb Steward Mr Slade Cook Mr Stonehouse Mr Nurse Mr Worthington Mr Coppinger Mr Philip's Mr Bartlet Mr Jones Mr Drop jun. Mr Collis Mr Drury Mr Sympson Mr Duston Mr Langton Mr Clay Mr Diggle Mr Harris Mr Flood Mr Dale Sen. Mr Pennington Mr Cletherow Mr Palmer Mr Oates Mr Bayley Mr Web Mr Hobbs Mr Bowles Mr White Mr Eman Mr Heath Mr Jeanes Butler Mr Taylour Butler Mr Tonchin Butler Mr Hearn Cook Mr Chibnall Mr Wake Mr Drop natu min. Corpus Christi College. Dr Newlin Precedent. Mr Stratford Mr Sanderson Mr Clarkson Mr Shute Mr Deane Mr Betts Mr Halsted Mr Kind Mr Jackson Mr Clerk Mr Teagle Mr Metford Mr Stapleton Mr Glover Mr Stamp Mr Immings Mr Parker Mr Felman Mr Newlin Bible Clerk. Mr Seamer Manciple. Mr Hill Cook. Mr Price Cook. Mr Parne Butler. Mr Bowden Porter. Mr Speeding Mr Wrench Mr Barker Mr Dutton Mr Heywood Mr Samwayes Mr Eales Mr Chidley Mr Sucton Mr Lydall All Souls College: Dr Sheldon Warden Mr Barker Mr Fisher Mr Midleton Mr Boham Mr Newman Mr Dorell Mr George Mr Smith Mr Baldwin Mr James Mr Birkenhead Mr Napier Mr. Crofts Mr Hollingsworth Butler. Mr Griffin Cook. St. John's College. Dr. Bayley President Mr. Croocher Mr. Creed Mr. Wallwyn Mr. Tilsley Mr. Goad Mr. Winard Mr. Hitchins Mr. Slater Mr. Pemble Mr. Osbaston Mr. Taylor Butler. Mr. Ray Butler. Dr. Edward's Dr. Wild Mr. Miller Mr. Jennings Mr. Aston Mr. Jennings, jun. Mr. Mews Mr. Buckeidge. New College. Mr. Gardiner Mr. Lucas Mr. Barker Mr. Rowlondson. Mr. Beesley. Mr. Baynham Mr. Dummer Mr. Holloway Mr. Blague Mr. Coles Mr. Hobbs Mr. Price Mr. Martial Mr. Gillingham Mr. Bowman Mr. Turpin Mr. Withers Mr. Complin Mr. Robinson Mr. Alexander Mr. Aileworth. Excester College. Mr. Tozer Mr. Berry Mr. Bidgood Mr. Polewheele Mr. Poindexter Mr. Barbon Mr. Teage Mr. Webber Mr. Handing. Cook: Brazen Nose College. Mr. Eton Mr. Vde Mr. Rowson Mr. Burges Mr. King Mr. Roberts Mr. Byram Mr. Church Mr. Panter. Queen's College. Mr. Pearson. Mr. Gibson Mr. Pitt Mr. Musgrave Mr. Buchanan. Mr. Tarne Mr. Wilkinson, since Apostatised. Mr. Fa●rer Mr. Brathwaite Mr. Grigg Mr. Fletcher. University College. Dr. Walker, Master. Mr. Walker Mr. Watkins Mr. Silvester Mr. Stone. Oriell College. Mr. Duncomh. Mr. Sanders. Mr. Chamberlain Mr. Shelden Mr Bonch. Wadham College. Dr. Pites Warden. Mr. Pyne Dr. Sugg Mr. Strangewayes Mr. Atkins Mr. Michaleson Mr. Hues. Mr. Thomas Mr. Daker Merton College. Mr. Owen. Mr. Broad. Mr. Lee. Dr Turner Mr Graves Trinity College. Dr Potter Precedent. Mr Radford Mr Skinner Mr Bainger Mr Poundell Mr Ettrick. Jesus College Dr Mansell Principal. Mr Flower Mr Hues Mr Evans Mr Wilkins Mr Price Mr Penry Mr Basset Balliol college. Dr Laurence Master, banished himself by resignation, for fear of expulsion. Mr Fielding Mr Clement Pembroke College. Mr Whittack Master. Mr Bowles Lincoln College. Mr Webberley To conclude, since you are so desirous to understand the Occurrences amongst us I shall take every opportunity to satisfy your request, and to this end shall forthwith send you a Cutalogue of those whose policy (as they term it) hath shuffled out their Loyalty, and induced them to keep their nests by detestable compliance, and in the interin subscribe myself Yours to serve you. Philanax Anonononi▪ FINIS.