THE RUMPS Last Will & Testament WHICH THE EXECUTORS Herein Named (being out of hopes of the MONSTER'S Recovery) have thought good to publish and exhibit.  
LONDON, ●rinted by John Tailor, 1660.   

THE RUMPS Last Will and Testament,  
Which the Executors herein named, being out of hopes of the MONSTERS recovery, have thought good to publish and exhibit,  
IN the NAME of OLD NICK and Sir Arthur, So be it: The day of our declining Condition, and (to our grief be it spoken) we fear in that Platonical Year, wherein all Things are like to come Round: We the wretched RUMP of a Long Parliament, at first Legally Elected, but since miserably Degenerated, having scarce ever a good quality, and finding a daily decay in ourselves, both of Wit an● Honesty, having a long time stunk above ground, do call to remembrance the uncertain estate of our Noisome Continuance, and that the RUMP must yield to dissolution, when it shall please we to our sorrow know whom to call; and being desirous (according to our old wont) to put things in disorder, do make, constitute, ordain and declare this our last wickedness, in manner and form following.  
And first, being penitent and sorry from the very bottom of our Fundament, that we were not ten times worse than we are most humbly desiring forgiveness for the same, we permit our stinking RUMP to the Close-Stool, where we desire (but are so much like Infidels that we cannot believe) to be preserved till that joyful day of our third Resurrection, with our RUMP upward in token of good Luck, and through the Industry and power of some seditious Sectaries, and Jesuitical Impostors possess and Inherit the Kingdom of England, prepared we fear for a better purpose. And now for the settling of our real exacted Estates, and ill gotten goods, which the Devil (who usually to his power helps his servants) hath pretended to bestow upon us; we do Order give and dispose of them in manner and form following (that is to say) we Will that all those Debts and Duties, either upon the Public Faith, or otherwise, which we own in Right or Conscience to any manner of person or persons whatsoever, shall never by our Consent be truly contented or Paid, or Ordained to be paid at any time or times after Our Decease by our Executors hereafter named.  
ITEM. We give and bequeath all those Lands now in our Possession, commonly called, or known by the name of Good Conscience, which we enjoyed before the late times of Temptation, to be equally divided amongst such as intent to turn Knaves with the first opportunity.  
ITEM. We give and bequeath all other our Lands, being ten times the value of the former, which we raised out of the ruins of our Country, to be shared amongst our Instruments of oppression, to the intent that they may pray hearty for our next Resurrection, and not to cease unless the Lands aforesaid revert to the Right Owners.  
ITEM. We give and bequeath all our broken Ware, as Oaths, Protestations, Solemn Leagues and Covenants, to whomsoever will take them, being like to prove troublesome stuff in another World.  
ITEM. (Because we know not how to avoid it) we give and bequeath to General MONK the Keys of our Shop of Iniquity (as we have made is) at Westminster, in Order to the Letting in of the secluded Members; and with them all the Curses we are able to pronounce for his presumption in being more honest than ourselves.  
ITEM. To all his honest Officers and Soldiers we give and bequeath for the finding some few Trifles which we lately utterly lost (to wit) the Love, Good will, and Well-wishes of the people.  
ITEM, We give and bequeath our late Knack of Extortion in Folio (being for six month's Assessment, not like to be paid by our Order) to be folded in Quarto, and employed only to backside service, in remembrance of the RUMP:  
ITEM. Our WILL further is, that Haberdasher's Hall be hanged round with mourning, in order to the celebration of our Obsequies, and that our two late Knacks of Sequestration (more dear to us then the Bible) be cut into Escutcheons and hanged about about Our Hearse, and that every Officer there, lately gaping for Preferment, have a lighted Torch put in his mouth, ready to dance attendance upon our RUMPSHIPS to Charon's Boat; and that Jack Lambert, late Master of misrule, and Ringleader of the fanatics, be during this Solemnisation Master of the Ceremonies.  
ITEM. Our WILL further is, that all Buttons made by the RUMP in their extremity, be valued at a High Rate, and that none be sold under the Rate of a Six Month's Assessment the Gross. And we do hereby give unto our Executors hereafter named all benefit, profit, and advantage thereby accrueing, that they may have cause to remember us by a good Token.  
ITEM. We give and bequeath what we cannot keep, to be employed towards the repairing of those breaches we have made both in Church and State, and in particular towards the mending of the City Gates and Port-Cullises, which as we have had the shame of throwing down, so our Will is, that we may have the Credit (seeing we deserve to be at the Cost) of the setting up, and to have this MOTTO engraven. 
These gates they fell with many a thump  
And were set up at the charge of the Rump   
And Lastly, we do by this our WILL nominate, constitute, and appoint our loving Friends Praise God Bare-bone, together with his late Rabble of Fellow Petitioners to be Executioners of this our Last Will and Testament, giving unto them the thank of the House for their good infections; and our Will is, that as our Rising again, they be put into all places of Profit and Trust throughout our Dominions: and in the interim we give them a Copy of our Countenance, as a Commission to carry on their Damnable, Cursed; and Cutthroat Designs.  
In Witness whereof to this our LAST WILL and TESTAMENT, we have subscribed Our NAME, RUMP   

Postscript.  
Reader,  
I Shall desire thee to take notice that this Rump-Will, though it be published in the Executors names, yet the promulgation thereof I must needs take upon myself, and then if thou sayest I might have been better employed, I shall say so too, but (mistake me not) not because thou sayest it, but because I think it: And yet let me tell thee, I think I have done well, though I might have done better, and thou that findest fault mayst do worse; but however if thou dost not like, thou hadst best look off, which is the best Counsel I can at this time give thee, only thus much I'll promise thee, that when I have any other Varieties to treat the withal besides RUMPS, thou shalt find me more solid.  
S. P.   
FINIS.