A PAIR OF SPECTACLES FOR THE CITY.  
Printed in the Year, MDCXLVIII.   

A Pair of Spectacles for the City.  
WEre there not a more than ordinary stupidity possessing the hearts of men, which God usually permits as the forerunner of heavy Judgements, after so many real Demonstrations of damnable Jesuitical Designs upon Religion and Liberty; it were very unnecessary to publish any thing of this Nature; but let this unhappy necessity be obeyed, and honest men be persuaded a little to withdraw their thoughts from their perplexed reflections on the engagement and Tumults at Westminster with the City-Remonstrance, which are usually looked upon as the Grounds, but never were other than Occasions and Advantages sought by Sectaries and Atheists, to throw us and the whole Kingdom into this Confusion; and unless▪ God (who casteth out the Counsels of the wicked, and taketh the Wise in their own craftiness) prevent, is like to overwhelm both, and apply themselves to observe Affairs as they have been managed by them, who will needs be the only Saints, and Men of the most uprightness, Fidelity and Integrity, the greatest Denyers of themselves, the greatest pretenders to the setting up of Christ in his Throne, the only Assertors of People's Liberty, taking off Taxes, Excise, calling of Money-Merchants to Account; Lastly the bringing of the whole Kingdom to a happy and Peaceable Condition.  
Yet comparing things together, the diligent observer may easily discerns an evident conjuncture of Jesuits, Sectaries, Politicians, Atheists, Profane and Ignorant Persons, for the Ruin of Religion, all Government, Order; confounding all Distinctions of men, for the introducing of Atheisms, Anarchy, Libertinisme, profaneness.  
The Design hatched by Philip Nye, Tom and John Good●●●, and the rest of the Rabble, took the opportunity of Crumwell's being Lieutenant General to Manchester, who being theirs in Judgement, they have made great by fathering upon him the issue of other men's Actions and valour: So that no great Action could be performed, though other men were as deserving as himself in it, but the whole glory must be attributed to Crumwell, the Pamphletiers commonly taking notice of nothing, unless Crumwell or some of his Party might handsomely be made to own it. Thus at Marston-Moore, though Sir Thomas Fairfax, Lieutenant General Midleton, Major General Craford deserved fare above him; yet Crumwell must be bellowed abroad the Saviour of three Kingdoms, the Great Deliverer; 'Tis truth, if Craford had not whispered in his Ear, he had delivered himself out of the Field in the beginning of the day at Na●b●e, Valiant Skippon, Butler, and some other stout Commander's blaud must purchase Honour for Crumwell, and his Cowardly Son in Law Ireton. Basin (half taken by Dalbiere) must have the Honour of Crumwell. At Langport Massy's valour must make Crumwell great. In all their Military matters, they have fallowed Joabs' counsel to David, when the Cities of Waters have been taken, the business as good as finished, they must also down, that it may be called after their names.  
Thus Crumwell's fame being made great, the next work is to fit him with fit followers; to this purpose, all the Sectaries in the Kingdom are invited together to the Army to be as a Reserve: All occasions taken to Cashier and dismiss all of what quality, valour, uprightness soever, who were not of their judgement. Sk●ppon sent to Beleagrue at Bristol, since handsomely laid by from Acting as Major General and made Governor of Newcastle. Last of all, that also had his Regiment snatched from him and given to Lilburne: Himself like that valiant Roman, after he had saved his Country from a desperate Enemy returned to lead a private life in his own Country.  
Adjutant General Wray, for looking only on the City-Remonstrance, thrown out of all. It hath seemed very strange to Men of their own Party, that so gallant valiant Gentlemen should be turned out of their Commands upon so trivial matters.  
As much Industry hath been used to bring in Men of depraved Judgements and large Consciences: Lambert, (the Anabaptist) Overton, Baxter, (a Peddling Strand-Gold-Smith) whose greatest d●aling was in Thimbles and Bodkins, made a Colonel: For the Profits of which place, I dare say, he shall walk in the broadest way Crumw●ll can chalk him out. Gravener▪ (a broken Citizen) quarter-master-general. Staines a Quacking Mountebank, Commissary General: Watson, who had been hanged for Embasing Metals if he had his due, Scout-master-Generall: The whole Command of the Army in the hands of Sectaries, or broken beggarly fellows, the Principles of the one and Necessity of the other making them ready to act whatsoever their Masters shall command them.  
Hewson a Colonel, a Shoemaker, a very Knave in his Trade, as I am very credibly informed, from some that have been upon search in his Shop, and very often taken away faulty Commodities.  
Harrison (a Poor Clerk) now a Parliament-Man and Colonel of Horse, had his Wife by a figure called Pr●ocupatio: But that's but Venial with the Saints.  
Pride, a Dray-man, Colonel of Foot. Okey a Tailor, Colonel of Dragoons. If the chief Officers be such, what then are the rabble? And truly, what will not such beggarly, base, dishonest fellows do, to keep▪ themselves in a Condition, whereby they may enjoy the fat of the Land, the Pomp of the World; the Accoutrements of the best Gentlemen in the Kingdom, besides the Command they have over the poor Countrymen where they Quarter?  
Care is likewise taken that the Common-Souldiers may be instructed in their Erroneous Tenets: To this purpose, the chief Commanders get to their Chaplains the most Haereticall, Schismatical, Blasphemous men in the Kingdom▪ Saltmarsh and del, Hugh Peter, Erbury. These tell the Soldiers, that they have and aught to have all P●●er in their hands, and bid them not part with it; 〈◊〉 have right to the goods of this Life, but the Saints. That the Saints are now styled Independents, Sectaries, Anabaptists, and the like: That they have conquered the Propha●e-ones, but they must also trample upon the Necks of all Carnal Gospelers, that they the Saints may Reign alone in the Earth. That Synods and Parliaments have nothing to do to meddle in ma●ters that concerns God's Worship. Thus Dell before Sir Thomas and Crumwell at Marst●●-Church in Oxford-Leaguer; That the whole Scripture was not given by Inspiration of God: Walwin Ritur, at a Conference, a hundred being present; That Christ is not God, neither died to satisfy for Sin; Erbury, Hewson, who saith, the whole Army generally believe the same: That the Soul is Mortal: That the Laws of the Land are not binding to them, having Conquered their Conqueror. Thus having beat down all Laws, both Divine and Humane, they have got a fit rout for the Acting of any Wicked Design whatever, and supposing they have but Two Parties in the Kingdom able to give them any considerable Opposition: viz. the King's Party, and the City, from Killing the King, which they call exceeding Justice upon whomsoever, from Plundering the whole Kingdom, destroying the Nobility, and Levelling all Ranks and Distinctions of Men. They, have made it their Masterpiece, first to divide them o●● from another, then amongst themselves to lull the King's Party asleep; they have pretended to reinthrone His Majesty, settle Him in His Just Rights; case and bring down the Compositions of Delinquents; and set up a Regulated Episcop●●● for His Majesty, if we may conclude, any thing from the Expressions of their Darlings: They would not have them live by them, much less Reign over them. Peter's, in his Word to the Army, and Two to the Kingdom, calleth him a Dead Dog, and complaineth they are much troubled with him, and seemeth to request some Agitator, or other, to remove the Wicked from the Throne. They generally require he ●●y be brought to Trial, and receive Punishment for all the blood he hath been the cause of shedding of; The second, and pulling down Excise they fooled the poor Country People with, when they advanced to London, shall be performed together, which for them will be at Doom's day in the Afternoon. The third may be done, but if in their way and manner, it had been better never have been touched. I had rather have a Pope and his Cardinals govern, then have no Government at all. And I believe most Men are of my Opinion: But for the City, there they have played their Masterpiece, and brought us to be the very hilling and byword of the whole Kingdom, or rather we have brought ourselves to it; and truly it may seem very strange to Men, how such a City should receive Check by such an Army. I shall give a very brief account of the whole Business; and I shall take leave to be very plain; let who will ●ind themselves aggrieved.  
The Kingdom and City extremely groaning under the heavy burden of an Everlasting-Parliament, the unjustness, Perfidiousness, Hypocrisy, Tyranny, Oppression, of whom will make their Names stink in the Nostrils of all honest Men as long as they are remembered, were held in hopes they should be delivered from their Bondage under these Aegyptiant by this Army, according to their Promise in private, and Engagement and Declaration in public: This took off many from Opposing them.  
Secondly, This Army had won that Esteem for Religion and Piety, th●● many would not believe that any thing, not the fruit of both could proceed from them.  
Thirdly, They had a Party of Lords and Commons basely and unworthily received Orders from them their Servants: this gave Reputation to the Business, and took off many, they Marching up with them.  
Fourthly, The Seamen, Watermen, and Apprentices, after proffer of their Service, Cowardly deserted us.  
Fifthly, many Commanders, Sectaries, and Cowards, laid down their Commissions, or hide their Heads just upon the Enemy's approach.  
Sixthly, T●at Treacherous base Skellum Hardwicke of Southwark, who after that he had vowed by the Honour of a Soldier, the Faith of a Christian, the Reputation of a Man, that he would resist all A●med Men whatever, who would endeavour to enter the Line, to the loss of Life, and this several times by the reason he was suspected: Nay, after he had plotted the betraying of it, and both by Letter and Personal Message, invited the Army too, and promised admission into So●thwarke: I say this Treacherous base defection of his, (for which I hope to see him hanged) very much furthered the Enemy's Design.  
Seventhly, The Party they had in our very Committee for the Militia, who by their long tedious Speeches, so much obstructed the business, that half an hours work commonly took up a Night's debate.  
Eightly; It was just, God should lay the Pride of this City in dust, who notwithstanding the Judgements abroad upon the whole Land, and our neighbour Nations, sat still like a Quean never providing for the day of her own visitation.  
Lastly, The many Promises the Army made of their faithful Intentions to us and the whole Kingdom, that they would endeavour the present settling of all differences, the bringing the King to a Personal Treaty, and not to enter the City: All which they have unworthily broke.  
These things very much facilitated their enslaving of this great and populous City, but having us at command, Machivilian like they break all Promises; and being they cannot bring us to their Bow, they endeavour what possibly they can to make us weak Enemies; to that purpose, they Order the Parliament to take the Militia from us, which was given us by a full and free Parliament as a mark of Honour: So than a Committee of Parliament were pleased to call for our many great services done them and the Kingdom, and conferred it upon beggarly Fouke, and a company of Anabaptists and Sectaries, and lest these men should have so much ingenuity left, as to be faithful to the place that bred them, they have so divided the command of the Militia, into so many pieces, that neither of them can scarce stand on their own legg●, much less make any considerable defence in case of danger. They have likewise put that gallant and faithful Coloneli, Colonel West out of the Tower, only because no Sectary, and the City placed him there; and in his room that Thing Tichburne is put, a fellow much below the Command, fit for a Posset and a warm Bed, then to keep a Citadel, only a Peevish Sectary, for that must be Honoured; They have driven our friends out of the House of Commons, as Massy, Waller, and that much lamented deceased Stapleton, whose blood cries loud for Vengeance, and will be heard in the day of Enquiry, when treacherous Manchester and Harvy, who were in the Counsel as deep as any, though they basely, now, act against us, shall not dare to hold up their heads: our ablest, most faithful and honest Aldermen and Commons are charged with High Treason, a word as I have heard, that prudent and faithful Alderman Adam (though his pockets were searched when Lord Mayor to find a King) all the blood in a man's body now scarce brings his into his face: so trivial a thing is High Treason now adays. Can it be thought that Langham, adam's, Bunce, Bromfeild, Jones, should Act Treason against King or State. I do confidently aver, and thousands will make it good, there sits not six in the Houses of Lords and Commons nor resident in the Army that have served the State with more uprightness, faithfulness, constancy and courage, than these six gallant Men have done, where had these Commons and Parling Lords been, at the time when Gloucester was besieged, and so bravely defended by gallant Massy, when that purple Jesuited Independent (vulgò dicto) Lord Say as once Melitia gave Benhadad advise to put Halters about our Necks and go ask Mercy; truly we had better have done it, then suffer him and his Crew to lay such fetters upon us. I say where had these brave Men been had not these very six Men, done beyond humanity. I speak like a Christian always submitting to Providence, I am able to make it out, if truth had but one single Patron left, these very men than saved the Kingdom, were the most eminently instrumental in it, when these Fellows of Westminster sat peeking and voting basely and, cowardly left all, and certainly would have run away had they not been encouraged by these very six men principally. I pray God give them Grace to bewail the trouble they have put them to; but enough of this lest they be hated because beloved, And let's see a little how our wise Committee for the Militia hath disposed their business, if we can with patience: I shall run over all I know of them, and I believe they would not be angry if they knew me, first of the first.  
The Orange Regiment Colonel Wilson an Antinomian, a Man that hath more Money than Wit or Valour, but he may serve: the next is Presto Colonel Lieutenant Colonel (what shall I call him) Camfield, a fellow that looks as if he had changed his face, with his place; I met him lately going up Holborn, if he had been coming down, I should have thought he had broke his Halter and run away, he looked so ghastly, but he did them good service at Westminster, that day they say the the House was forced, stood looking on like a cowardly base fellow, never offering to strike blow, though he had nigh two hundred armed men under his command, and might have defended the House against an Army; but that was in order to the design, or else he had been hanged before this time.  
Next him is Lieutenant Colonel Major, Captain Petitoes, the sight of whom makes me remember my Aunt Basset Swill Tub; he may do well to choose the fat Cook in Py-Corner for his Colours, and Tripes for his Lieutenant, they will dead Bullets, if ever he be carried in a Tumbril into Service, else he will never come where they are.  
Then that Bartholemew Baby Major, Puny Captain Russell. Surely this is one of the Shakers' they talk of; a fellow that every Step he takes speaks him a Tailor.  
After him Colonel Lieutenant Colonel Young Captain hay day Boswell, a fellow lately put out for caning Train Band Soldiers, but it seems we must come to it, and this Pricklouse employed to begin the work. All these I dare say will never be guilty of High Treason, in raising a New War, nor except the last be angry to be kickest, or affronted in any manner. For the Green, I know not what they have done, only they have turned out the discreet and faithful Colonel Shipheard, and put in the Bull Roe, as also honest and stout Lieutenant Colonel Lane, and put that Swearing Fantastic Fool Juxon in his piace. I suppose the rest of the Commanders of that Regiment will not be commanded by a Knave and a Fool; for the White, Colonel Vaughan being guilty of High Treason, of City High Treason, that is for retaining so much courage and prudence as to defend the City that gave him his command, as to maintain the Honour and Reputation of it: Indeed for obeying the Commands of the Committee for the Militia that were his General, must be put of, and Player, that Player that played the Coward's part so much at Cherriton, in his room. Lieutenant Col. Thomson a valiant and faithful Commander laid by, and unworthy base spirited Manby put in his Room, he that upon the routing of a forlorn Hope at Cherriton cried and wrung his hands, what shall he do, what shall he do, the day is lost, like a great Booby: Let them make the Puppy his Son Major, in the room of valiant and resolute Major Milton, whom they have put out, and then I dare promise this Regiment shall never commit City High Treason neither. In the Red Regiment Colonel Hooker, a valiant prudent godly and faithful Captain, is laid by; a man that stood up with the first and acted with the best, for the safety of King, Parliament, Kingdom, and City, but he endeavoured not to be a Slave to Slaves, had a sword in his hand, and being assaulted by a company of Thiefs and Rascals, was loath to yield, but endeavoured to defend himself; this I say being City high Treason, he must be laid by, and in his Room unworthy peeking Hays is placed: Lieutenant Colonel Brett is turned out too, and truly I wonder at it, in my Conscience he is no Presbiterian, but I suppose he is too much a man, too much a Soldier to act in these base unworthy ways now on foot; they say Cushion hath his Room, base spirited Cushion to be sat upon by Hays, whom he hath Commanded, I wish thou mayst be sat upon, by all the footboys, Tapsters, Porters, Journeymen Tailors in the Town. This Act speaks the Tailor and the son of a Tailor to the tenth generation. For the rest of that Regiment I hear not of.  
In the blue Regiment, Shake-rag Underwood may serve their turn well enough; he basely hide his head when he should have been at the head of his Regiment: but Cox & Gillibrand are out; the first guilty of City-high treason, & the second of too much honesty to serve any base design, though never so fairly guilned over, both honest, tried, valiant soldiers, and so not fit to be ranked with fools, knaves, and cowards; and in their stead Rogers and Coe are brought, the one a Fool, the other a Broker. But in name of the Tower-ghost, what have the Commanders of the Yellow Regiment done? they are all turned out, all guilty of City-high-Treason: had ye not one Fool nor Knave among ye, nor Cuckold neither? that's a Miracle. Let's view you a little more narrowly, for the rareness of the business. First, Colonel Bromfield, a Gentleman of unquestionable faithfulness and integrity, upon whom God hath conferred extraordinary parts and abilities, and a heart to improve all to the service of his Country; a fit man to transact any Military affair at that Council of War where great Gustavus Adolphus sat Precedent; a Gentleman that at the famous Battle of Newbury proved himself a valiant Soldier, and a discreet Commander; in the Committee for the Militia, and Court of Common-council discreetly, faithfully and stoutly muted those Apostates Fowks, Estwick, Player, and countermined their designs: This last I believe was his great crime: but he is outed, and that shadow of a Soldier, Harrison in his place; a silly weak old man (God knows) fitter to eat Pie and Custard, then lead a Regiment; a man of no estate, and merely for the profits, which he must raise indirectly and dishonestly too, takes it; a fellow that carried himself like a Fool and a Coward at Cherriton, only the Colonel Harrison (being forced to marry his daughter, having That same beforehand) is his son in Law, that's desert enough.  
Lieutenant-colonell Leigh is the next; a man of Estate and Quality, an honest, godly, valiant man, a man that did as good service at Cherriton as any man in the Brigade, a man that from principles of Honesty and Piety leads the life of a Christian in sincerity: He is thrown out, and that proud, insolent, Schismatical, beggarly Fenton in his place: this is he that would needs have a Committee of Aldermen and Commoners to examine whether he were a Cuckold or not, when himself, his wife, and the Schoolmaster of Dullidge had concluded on the Affirmative before. His father keeps a poor Country Alehouse, he bond him to a Tagger of Points; he married his wife from the Bell at Jslington; yet this proud Fool cries Want you any Buttons? in Scarlet and Plush: This is he that was shot in the Arse at Caversham-Bridge, he had so much Armour on's back he could not run away fast enough, that got that little he hath by being a Commitree-man under my Lord of Essex, that carried out a gallant Company of London Apprentices into the Service, and used them like Dogs, ('tis their own expression,) that must be pleased in all the rest of the Commanders, and have power to present them, which our wise Committee granted; that hath brought in a Company of Fools, that he may be Dominus fac towm: But enough of this proud Thing.  
The next is Major Needle; he hath two faults, he's an honest man, and no Sectary; in his room is one Doyle Tichburnes Creature and once Lieutenant; neither Man nor Soldier: This is he that was at Cherriton, and may say as the great julius Caesar did, Veni, Vidi; an excellent fellow to bring up a File of Dragooners, fit to hold their horses while they fight, or to be an Ensign, he loves to shelter himself amongst the Pikes so well: a man that will never be guilty of breaking the sixth Commandment, nor raising a New War.  
The fourth was Captain Elaine, a Gentleman as fit for Command as any in the City, a very knowing experienced Soldier, one who hath made as great proficiency in the Art Military as any, and been very instrumental in making many Soldiers; a man of very good parts, honest and conscientious, he is out, and in his place that Kick-shaw Blackwell, a fellow infinitely below the place as man, never capable of it as a Soldier, of his Colonels complexion, taketh it merely for profit. This is he that cried he was undone when turned out last; that put Fines for Delinquency and his Officers Pay in his own pocket, (get it out when they can) a cowardly Fop, a silly Goose, that if he had a will, hath not parts to acquire any thing in the Art Military.  
The next was Captain Widmerpoole, a Gentleman of good Account and Quality, a very stout and valiant man, an able and knowing Soldier; one that hath been very active for the Parliament from the beginning of these troubles, was at Cherriton fight, did as good service as any in his Command there. In brief, hath given ample testimony of his faithfulness, resolution and courage in his place. One Stone is put in his place; truly the man may be honest, but as fit to command a Company as to build PAUL'S, and so not very wise. Surely these Fellows think the Office of a Captain is nothing but only to walk before a company to Westminster. The Scholars are like to be well taught when the Master cannot read.  
The next was Captain Potter, an honest fellow and a Soldier, so much I may say, yet be modest; I know him faithful to the Parliaments Cause; he took up a Commission just when the Regiment went out to fight for it. I hope his heart is upright to God too. I am confident he desires it should be so. He was at Cherriton, and did service in the hottest work there; Gods good providence assisting he came not away, nor shrunk from any employments he was commanded upon: nay, he went upon some and of some danger too, when waved by others, but he cannot be yoked with Fenton: Exit. In his place is one White, a fellow for whom I cannot meet with a fit Character, the most unworthy snivelling fool that I have heard of to be a Captain. This is he that commenced an Action of Trespass against his man, and lay him in the Compter for cutting his thin cheese, and like a Knave would have had his maid sworn strange matters against him; that turned off his maid for being no better housewife in her Kitchenstuffe: that will be a Soldier when Habedeboody his Lieutenant is one; and truly, let simple Robin have his Colours, and it would trouble a man to judge who were the better Soldier.  
The next is Captain Hind, a man that hath done the Parliament very eminent service at the beginning of these troubles, as a Commissary of Horse, and Gratis too, a very discreet, prudent and stout man, and a good Soldier, that truly fears God, and walks close with him, but will not be coupled with Ox's and Ass', so laid by. In his room is one Sherburne, a young fellow and no soldier. I know little of him, but it's like he is one that will be ruled by Lieutenant-colonell Tap.  
Thus behold your walls and Bulwarks, ye men of Lacedemonia, in this we may see their drift and design plain; but go on you Saviour's, that while some of you are (seemingly at least) lifting up your hands to heaven, others are confulting with Hell itself, digging and designing the overthrow both of Church and State: if they can make the City pay Taxes willingly, the work is done, we are slaves to eternity, the Country must find meat and drink, and the City spending-money and , for these Lord-Danes; for quartering among us is dangerous, then let Fools work, we will live by play, but remember Nebuchadnezars' hand-writing.  
FINIS.