THE Royal Academy OF COMPLIMENTS. Wherein is set forth, a New Packet of Letters erected for Ladies, Gentlewomen, Courtiers, Gentlemen, Scholars, Soldiers, Citizens, Countrymen, and all persons of what degree soever of both Sexes, viz. Complimental expressions towards men and Women; leading to the Art of Courtship. 1. A Tender of Service to a King. 2. A Tender of Service to a Queen. 3. Respects from an Honourable Lady to a Queen. 4. A Fair Young Virgin to an Old Rich Miser, whom her Guardian did design should Wed her. 5: A Gentleman's request to his Friend, to borrow Money. 6. A Gentleman to his Friend, that sent to borrow Money. 7. A Virgin to her Parents, that would have Matched her to one whom she cannot Love. 8. A Courteous Lass to her Paramour, who had gotten her with Child, 9 A Husband to his Lascivious Wife. 10. A Wife to her extravagant Husband. 11. Civilities from one Lady to another. 12. The forsaken Maid, to her Treacherous Friend. 13. One Lady's advice to another near Marriage. 14. A Gentleman to his Lady, upon his urgent occasion of taking a Journey. Composed by the most Refined Wits of this Age. LONDON, Printed for E. H. and are to be sold by Absalon Chamberlain, over against the Cap and Feather, in White Cross-street, next to Oldstreet: removed from Swan-alley, in St. John-street. The Royal Academy of Compliments. SIR, the pleasure I entertain to consider your goodness, is more satisfaction to me than my advancement. Sir, should I not render you thanks for your many favours, I should die of a deep impatience. Sir, 'Tis my ambition to conserve the honour I have obtained of being your Servant. Sir, you are noble in all respects, that I have learned to love, as well as to admire you. Sir, your passions are mine; nor can I live more in freedom, than when I am bound to you in the bonds of Friendship. Sir, you are the Rising Sun which I adore. Sir, I wear you in my heart. Sir, you are the Star I reach at. Sir, you are the Miracle of Friendship. Sir, should I twine my Arms to Cable, sit up all Night like a Watching-candle, and destil my Brains through my Eyelids, yet I must love you: I then loving you, and you me, who is the third person shall hinder us? Compliments towards Ladies, Gentlewomen, Maids, etc. MAdam, your Beauty is the Conqueress of Man, who is never to be satisfied with the lustre of your Eyes; Fair one, your Feature and Virtues, Excel all mortal sense. Madam, unless you give me yourself, it lies not in your Art, or Power, to requite that affection wherewith I do adore you. Madam, I never yet offered my affections to any beauty but your own; since than you have the pre-eminence above all others, be favourable to him that gives it, and with it, himself wholly to your disposal. Madam, be wise, and dote not so much upon your own beauty; the man with the balld pate, can so alter your Physiognomy, that in a short time it shall fright you more than a Judge does a Thief. Madam, it is passed your art to shun me, I will put a girdle round about the World but I will find you, etc. Letters upon several Occasions. A tender of Service to a King. May it please Your Majesty, I AM not ignorant of the great presumption, wherewith at this time I give a trouble to your Majesty, nor can my deserts give me any hopes that the least beam of your love, should shine on any thing that in me can be thought a Merit; since I have learned you my command in all things, and it is contrary to the duty I own to Your Excellent Majesty, to disobey in any; but that Your Majesty may know, you have a Subject that durst be Loyal, even in Disloyal times: I have now attempted to arrive at the height of my Felicities, which is, not only to be honest, but to be known to be Your Majesty's most Humble Servant, and Obedient Subject. A tender of Service to a Queen. May it please Your Majesty, THough I am a stranger to your Majesty, yet since I bear your Glorious Title of a Loyal Subject, I have hence assurance, that your Majesty will vouchsafe to give this boldness a favourable aspect; for indeed, I should doubt my own Fidelity to my Royal Sovereign, should not your Majesty countenance my duty with an acceptance of my Service; let me now only beg trouble of a pardon, and I shall for ever study, as in duty bound, to manifest myself, Your Majesty's Loyal Subject, and most humble Servant. Respects from an Honourable Lady to a Queen. Madam, IF my passion had not overruled my reason, I would certainly have kept my Letters from becoming so near an object for your sacred eyes, till some commandment of your hand put them upon occasion to give them attendance; but the care I have to preserve myself in the honour of your memory, and favour, will not suffer me to continue any longer silent; therefore most humbly pray your Majesty, to continue yourself in assurance, even from hence, that my Devotions are ever aspiring to your service, which yet I should half suspect to be less perfect, if my inclinations might not own as great a part of that ambition as my obligations; but the one accompanying the other, will establish me for ever in an unchangeable resolution of being, Madam, Your Majesty's most humble Servant. A Fair Young Virgin to an Old Rich Miser, whom her Guardian did design should Wed her. Honourabe Sir, FOR I must acknowledge the truth of that old Proverb, that says, Age is Honourable; for all that, give me leave to tell you, though I am under the Tuition of another, yet I am Mistress of my own affections, and in truth, neither your wisdom or gravity, no nor your Riches can Charm me to affect you Sir, be so much yourself as to desist from your Suit to me, be in Charity with the World, and in Love with Heavens, build Hospitals, that you may merit the Prayers of the Poor, and spend not your precious time in Dotage upon a Woman; for to be plain with you, I will sooner Wed myself to a Nunnery, or some Loathsome Goal, than become your Bedfellow, and shall even have a greater estimation for a wise man in Rags, than a fool in his Richest Trappings, if you Visit me or send to me any more; I shall conclude you Troublesome, and Frantic; be vised then since you know the mind and resolution of, Sir none but your, and yours till Death. A Gentleman's request to his Friend, for a Sum of Money. Sir, LET me not be held no Friend, because I send to borrow Money; I had rather want that, than lose your Love; but, Sir, if you shall think fit to pardon my boldness, I desire your patience so far as to measure the Length of your Purse-strings, since a present and urgent occasion pulls me on this strange adventure, the Sum is but Five Pounds, which shall be paid within a Month, if you dare take my credit for the asurance of it, and for Interest you shall have my thankful accknowledgments, thus not doubting of your Civility in this case, I rest as ever, Your Friend and Servant. A Gentleman to his Friend, that sent to borrow Money. Sir; OUR Friendship would be held by a slender Thread, if five pound weight could snap it; I have not only thought fit to pardon your boldness but do esteem myself happy in that I have a Purse or strings to serve you your credit is sufficient, and therefore I have sent you the Sum required: and shall expect no other interest than the like courtesy, if you think it one, when you shall be Troubled by, Your hearty real Friend. A Virgin to her Parents, that would have her Matched to one whom she cannot Love. Most Dear Parents, I Beseech you, let the rules of nature be so prevalent with you, as not to Marry me me to the Man whom you design; but if you do resolve that I shall Marry, let it be to one that I can Love, or to my Grave, be not over ruled by the thoughts of Avarice, lest you become in huemane, to your own blood and make me, Your Sad, Sorrowful, and Afflicted Daughter. A Courteous Lass to her Paramour, who had gotten her with Child. Dear Sir, I AM now constrained to confine myself to a retired life, such is the fruit of our dalliance that I am become obvious, and without your company shall be odious to all that see me; and like yourself, the Babe in my Womb, is continually exercising itself in an Activity that affords me but little rest: You cannot forget your promise to marry me e'er you could prevail with me to satisfy your pleasures. Sweet Sir, let your stay be short, for prolixity is dangerous to both our Reputations, I Languish till you come, and till then and ever shall remain my dear Soul: Yours to love and live with you. A Husband to his Lascivious Wife. Wicked and Wretched Woman, HAst thou forgot all goodness, that thou darest lift up thy Adulterous eyes to behold the Christial light? Hast thou no sense of thy own filthy deformity? Dost thou not know the World brands thee for a Whore, a notorious Strumpet? Art thou not sensible how thou hast made me become a scum, and a byword to all that know me? not that the credit of an honest man can be dashed by the infidelity of a Strumpet! But so it is, that the corruptions of the times have created a custom, to set the Wives sins upon the Husband's Forehead; thy Children are either hated, or pitied by all, and I myself dare not look upon them, lest I permit my fears to whisper to me thy Whoredoms, and their bastardy; our Relations and those that were formerly our bosom friends, do now forsake us, saying, they will not accompany themselves with such as belong to the house of shame, or that Trade of Incontinency; consider these things and repent, lest thy impenitency do farther provoke Divine Justice, and Heaven pour forth Vengeance as a reward for all thy Impieties; and withal, remember this is the advice of Thy abused Hus band. A Wife to her extravagant Husband. Vain and Miserable Man, CAnst thou open thy eyes, and not fear lest every one that sees thee should revenge those Adulterous and Lascivious actions of thine, wherewith thou hast brought upon thee the curses of a Chaste Wife, with her dear and Innocent Babes, doth not thy Conscience tell thee, there is an Everlasting Lawgiver Sits in Triumph, against the day of Vengeance; to judge such perverse sinners as you are: Dost thou imagine that those strict Devils commanded from the beginning, were but matters of policy, on that position of Man and Wife, being one flesh, was merely breath and exhalation; surely it is so esteemed by Atheists, and profane livers; but I fear, to the eternal horror of thy Soul, thou wilt roar in the Pit of everlasting Perdition, from whence it is difficult to get redemption; therefore be no more foolish, but call to mind how thou hast spent thy most precious time, endeavour to redeem it, and open the eyes of thy understanding, that thou mayest repent, and sin no more, lest a worse thing happen unto thee; consider that the lips of a Whore are sweet as Honey to the taste of Fools, but in their heart is the sting of Scorpions, yea, the poison of Asps lie under her lips; wilt thou then adventure the sting when there is no Cataplasms for the sore? Wilt thou forget the Virtuous Wife of thy bosom, for a Strumpet that is not only disloyal, but impudent? Darest thou despise thy Children, those gifts of the Almighty's providence, resembling Olive branches about thy Table, those buds of the Divine blessings promised to the good man; wilt thou run and wallow in the loathsome sins of lust, and carnal bruitality, thou that mayest trace the pleasant walks of contentment, with honest and chaste embracing; Oh! be more advised, lest the contract of your Nuptial Vows prevail with thee: I conjure thee return to the pleasant Springs of our Amity, that I may wash thee clean again with the Tears and Kisses of a loving Wife, that thou mayest see thy Children flourish, and that I may no longer be as my condition renders me, Thy Sorrowful and Miserable Wife. Civilities from one Lady to another. Dear Madam, MY ambition is still to continue in your favour, that it may prove as importunate as it is unjust, because I never could deserve it; yet I have no power to frustrate the effect of that, whereof you warrant the cause which occasions my admiring of your worth; and since you have been pleased to assure me of your Friendship, and your Favour, I can do no less than offer my Service, which shall ever be in readiness to attend your commands: I have had some young Gallants with me of late, who promised me more Visits, and have sent some Compliments; by the next, I hope to be better furnished with somewhat new, to accompany those so often said, and shall perpetually, that I am, Madam, Yours wholly at your Command. The Forsaken Maid, to her Treacherous Friend. Most unkind Man, IT is my exceeding wonder that you should be one to make up the number of those that dare to be wicked, now do I see my follies, when I hugged you in my Bosom and believed those Oaths, and Protestations which you have most Villainously broke; now can I call to mind the advice my experienced friends gave me, never to trust to the pretensions of your Sex: Oh! can you see me on your knees with wet and swollen eyes, and yet not learn to love me, nor hate yourself; or have you no regard to that innocent Lamb as yet in my Womb, which though of a small Volume, yet it is but yourself in a lesser Frame: If you believe, or think, it is not yours, let me be ripped up, and then you will perceive each member to bear the lively Image of your own, and your name likewise near it; for since you told me it should be so called, I wrote it in my very heart; I have nothing more to say▪ but only to desire you to be so true to yourself, and me, as to remember and perform your Vow; if not, be so merciful as to rid me of a loathsome Life, for if you do neither, my design will be public, and rather than Live your Strumpet, I shall esteem it a greater happiness since my misfortunes have brought me, to the misery to Die, Your Sacrifice. One Lady's advice to another near Marriage. Good Soul, IT is an unruly Age we live in, and my Love hath occasioned this trouble to you; I understand there is a Gentleman, Mr. A. B. is extremely prodigal of his pretences to you, in the way of Love and Marriage; my caution is only this, that you have an eye to your own welfare. Build not upon empty promises, for if you once suffer him to please his Humour before he is firmly yours, you will certainly Forfeit your own Honour, consider as he is above you in Purse, and the Portions of this Life, Beauty only excepted, for nature hath given you a Bountiful Proportion, whether his Intentions are real or feigned make him your own; and than if you fall in two you, may understand the Phrase by observing the occasions he will be bound by the Laws of God, and man to bear part in whatsoever happens the Truth is: I had not taken upon me to give you this admonition did not report speak loudly of his passions for you, and his conditional promises to be yours hereafter if you consent to be his first, such a Love hath subtle shifts, and more meanings than a Harmless Maid, can easily discover: It's reported too that you incline somewhat to believe him, and are apt to think he means nothing but what is Honourable, yet know this from one more experienced in things of this nature than you are, that if he should perform his vows to you after he hath Feasted his appetite, yet such a breathing your reputation will continually admit of checks, opprobrious terms, as Strumpet, Slut, Light-housewife; and what did you afford me that another Man might not have had, and when the Glass is once broken it is not easily cemented: dear Soul, keep Heaven about you, and let good thoughts Guard your Innocency, so shall your Honour be unspotted; and your Life happy which is the earnest Desire of. Your Cordial Friend, and Servant etc. A Gentleman to his Lady, tupon his urgent occasion of taking a Journey. Honoured Dear Lady, HAD not Christianity tied me to a stricter Rule, I could, even curse the severity of my Fate; since necessity compels me to be banished from you, and consequently from myself; for let me go never so far distant, my Heart will be always in your custody, and the thoughts of your dear self only my consolation, but that I should be thus enjoined to me more, my person from you in whom consisteth all my comfort and delight, is no small grief to me, especially considering the Life I apprehended in your favour; the Heaven that I discovered in your smiles, and all those delicious joys, that adored your countenance, yet since it must be so, be assured my Dearest Dear, I shall not forget the vows of my devotion, and I will be proud to Publish your virtues to the Ignorant World: till I become completely happy in my experience of your constancy; nor, shall I move in any other Sephere than what your influence doth govern; and will sooner Languish, to the worst of Deaths, than Love any but your divine Self, thus, my only joy, leaving my Heart in your Tuition, I only beseech you to be tender of it, for it's own, for yours, or for my sake; and in expectation of my happy return, I rest, Your Faithful, Humble Servant. FINIS.