Ruperts Potion, Wholsomly prescribed in a discourse between him and Mounfier Grandipoco physician general to his whole Army.( being very desperate sick of a BRISTW Fever.)  
Wherein the physician very learnedly prescribes both the nature and remedy of his disease.  
Printed at London by W. W. 1645.   

RVPERTS POTION; Wholsomely composed and prescribed in a Discourse between him and Monsieur Grandipoco, physician general to his whole Army.  Monsieur. 
AL hail to your Excellency; votrous tris humble servitur.  Rupert. 
Monsieur, you are very welcome, you could never have come in a time that I had more need of you; for truly I think I am almost past cure.  Monsieur. 
Fee, fee, Covrage; If you ha got de Alamode Clap, or de Grandipoco, me make cure you presaunt.  Rupert. 
O Monsieur, you mistake my disease; I am sequestered from those vanities now; my range is contracted into a narrow compass; I cannot so much as ride a hunting: now farewell Ven●●on.  M. 
By my trot me be very sorry: for your Excellancy wasever so free of your flesh; sans doubt dis shange make very much tr●uble in your stomach.  R. 
Now my very learned Doctor you are within half pistel shot of my disease: will you turn your breech towards the West, and cast all your judgement upon my water in that urinal.  M. 
Be gary you had most worst ill-condishon Vrin dat me never see wit all mine eyne,  R. 
Good Monsieur put on your Spectacles, that you may the better discern the disease.  M. 
Me do very well percerve by dis glass, dat you have much crudid raw, indigested humours upon your stomacks, and me have much knowledge dat you have much troublesone in your head, as de Vertego, and other whim-sicke diseases; and to tell you de very trot, your whole body ti● very out of frame.  R. 
truly Mr. Doctor you are in the right: for I think never any man was so tortured as I am. Now Mr. Doctor my next desire is, you will take special care to provide some physic.  M. 
Per me foy me will make you de best preparations de all Angeleter.  R. 
I pray you good Doctor let me know what it is I must take; I doubt it must be some desperate Drench or other.  M. 
Fie, Fie, you take me for de Farriar: make you Drensh! No no, me provide you de very fine Potion, de cordial drink, and de special peels, and de brave Electuaries, and if dat do not cure you, Benedicite.  Rupert. 
Give your patient leave to know what these rare things are made, and how they must be taken.  Monsieur. 
Dat me will wit all mine heart; de cordial drink must be made of the very best sack, and Gunpowder in all Bristo; de Electuary of de best hogs grease and hony boiled together, and you must take of each of des a pint, one two three four five time; your potion it must be made of dose Letter was found in de Kings Cabinet at Nasby, and the last Propositions for peace cut very small, and then boiled in a pottle of Holy water upon a slow fire, till it come to be de quart; And dene strene it through a pair of de fine lawn sleeves, and you must drink it all at once without either fear or wit; and den you must take dat Letter Sir Thomas Fairefaxe sent you when you bestowed bristol upon him( against your will) and it must be made up into very small peels for your swallow.  R. 
monsieur you talk strangely, all these ingrediences cannot be provided, for Sir Thomas Pairfaxe when he opened the Kings Cabinet, took the Letters away with him.  M. 
do not you make care for de providing of dem, me very well know, and so do you, dat Sir Thomas Fairfaxe is merciful, and will do much for save your life.  R. 
Truly if he do, he but gives me a plaster when he hath broken my head; for it is he that hath put me into this dangerous fever; well monsieur I pray you hasten these things, and be very careful.  M. 
Wee wait your Excellency when we have made de dispatch: and den cure you present.  Rupert. 
What time will you return: I pray make hast you may find me within at any time of the day.  monsieur 
me will bee careful, votrous tris humble servitur.  Monsieur returns with the physic. Rupert. 
OH Master Doctor you are very welcome, have you provided me the physic already, truly had you stayed a little longer I think I should have hardly opened my mouth.  M. 
In trot me have wit de very great deal care, and troublesone provided de better physic dat never was taken: dat in de great glass is de most very rare potion, de other are de cordial dringe and de sovereign Electuary: drink up dat in de great glass before you say your prayer.  R. 
What Master Doctor, will you not give me leave to say grace?  M. 
Fee, fee, Grace, me  told you before dat you must drink it widout elder fear or wit: your disease is de desperate, and must have de desperate cure.  R. 
Well Master Doctor, if this be all your Circumstance, I shall willingly subscribe and drink it.  
Rupert drinks up the Potion, his physic works, and he in a great Agony.  M. 
Dat was done de admirable best, ha you drink all up?  R. 
Oh thou French devil, thou hast poisoned me: Sacrament, hold my head; the devil is in this Potion: I must cast.  M. 
I up wit him, here will bee do very fine merriment presant.  R. 
A thousand Sacraments thou French mountebank, If I die of this Drench Ile kill thee.  M. 
When you bee dead, you be d● great killer: but up wid dat.  R. 
It is up now; what is it.  M. 
O brave, you have cast up te Tevill or te Pope: it hat de 〈◇〉 on it ●eall.  R. 
But hold I die presently: here comes more.  M. 
Saw saw, saw saw; Here be de brave Markets, here be de Lord Pishop and te Priest, he doth bow and cringe already, like de humorous French Dancing-Master: here bee cardinals Cap, de very white Surples, de Pluds, Copes, Croster-staffe, and very much other Trinket.  R. 
O I am gone, this is my last breath: hang up that French Farrier.  M. 
Sharge on brave boy, de worst is past: so, here comes de Rabble, here comes de Arch-Deacons, Deacons, Surrogates, Commissaries, Doctors, Advocates, Proctors, officials, Notories, de Petty-fogging Clerks, and most abominable Pariter. What fare your Excellency? you call me de Farrier, and Horse-leech, and must be, must be hanged.  R. 
Pardon me, good Monsieur Grandipoco, I was in a great passion; but now my stomach is pretty well at ease: Let your other physic alone till to morrow: and in the mean while, I will consider both of your pains and gratitude. It is possible I may live, and make another Will, wherein you shall have a special remembrance.  
FINIS.