AN EXACT ACCOUNT OF THE RECEIPTS, AND DISBURSMENTS Expended by the Committee of Safety, Upon the Emergent Occasions of the NATION.  
Delivered in by M. R. Secretary to the said Committee, to prevent false Reports, and prejudicated Censures.  
LONDON, Printed for Jer. Hanzen. 1669.   

AN EXACT ACCOUNT OF THE RECEIPTS, etc.  
May it please your Honours,  
I Am come here according to Order, to present unto ye, an exact Account of what Money was disbursed by the Committee of Safety in the short time of their sitting. Truly I would fain justify myself and them who were my Masters, for I desire to appear an honest man outwardly what ere I am inwardly. I know and am not ignorant what a good thing 'tis to be a good Steward, for I know you love good Stewards, and have thrown out the Family of the Stewards, because you thought them not to be good Stewards; I make no question but your Honours will find this to be a just & true Account; for I learned Substraction, Multiplication, and Addition while I was at Drury House, and I thank God I attained also to some small knowledge of the Golden Rule; I could have wished with all my heart it had been more, yet I intended to have perfected my knowledge in the Committee of Safety, had my time not been so short; However I entreat your Honours to consider, that the Committee of Safety could be at no small charges, in regard of the Expenses that waits upon Authority. We had many Mouths to feed, many wanting Brethren that were in charity to be relieved; and Charity, your Honours know, how laudable a thing it is. All men love Money, all men seek for it, and are never well till they have it; And would ye have the Committee of Safety more than men? Truly I can assure your Honours they were but men at their highest, and now they are God knows what; 'tis thought some of them now wish they were women: 'Tis true, Changes have been very advantageous to a great many men in these times, but there are no changes now can do them good, but such Metamorphoses as the Poets speak of. I myself wish I had been changed into an Elder tree, to have been cut out into Potguns, when I first fingered a penny of their Mony. Truly I think the curse of Simon Magus fell upon them, for no sooner was their Money spent, but they were forced to run away; so that I may say of them, that They and their Money perished together. How it perished, I hope your Honours will hereby receive full satisfaction; I would have your Honours contented with this Account which I have here brought, but I assure your Honours if you will not, I can bring you no other. I have one word more by way of Petition, That your Honours would be pleased to consider my condition, and if I have laid out any money out of my purse (as you may hereby perceive that I have) that you will be pleased to restore it me again, and give me ten times as much more. 'Tis a sad thing to be poor and needy. O Hunger, hunger, said the famous Champion of England, more sharp than the stroke of Death, thou art the extremest punishment that ever man endured, if I were now king of Armenia, and chief Potentate of Asia, yet would I give my Diadem, my Sceptre, with all my Provinces for one sliver of brown Bread. I speak this to show you how much it concerns every man, and as well myself as any body else, to prevent poverty, which makes me urge my petition to ye once again, That you would not only not take away what I have got, but rather, as I said but just now, give me ten times more. May it please your Honours, I have done, the Lord bless you, and incline your hearts to pity and compassion.  
Received out of the Treasuries of the Excize, Customs, and the Exchequer— 430000 l.  
Disbursed as followeth.  

The ACCOUNT.   l. s. d. IMprimis, For three and twenty long Cloaks, at seven pound ten shillings per Cloak, to cover the Committee of Safety's Knavery, 243 00 00 Item for six dozen of large fine Holland Handkerchiefs, with great French Buttons, for the Lord Fleetwood, to wipe away the Tears from his Excellency's Cheeks, at twenty shillings per Handkerchief, 72 00 00 Item for four New Periwigs for his Lordship, at six pound a Periwig, together with a dozen pound of Amber Powder, with four wooden Blocks, and half a dozen of Tortoise shell Combs, 41 10 00 Item for a Silver Inkhorn, and ten gilt Paper-books covered with green Plush and Turkey leather, for his Lady to write in at Church, 07 03 03 Item paid his young Daughter's Musick-Master, and Dancing Master, for fifteen Month's Arrears, due at the Interruption of the Parliament, 59 05 00 Item for twelve new Brass Nails that were wanting in his Coach, and removing all his Excellency's horses shoes, and blooding his Pad Nag, 160 01 02 Item for four rich Mantles for his Lady, two laced, and two embroidered, and a brave New Gown, made to congratulate her Husbands new Honour, 270 00 00 Item bestowed by her Order, upon the Journeymen Tailors, and given to him that brought home and tried on her said Gown, seven Pieces in gold, 07 14 0● Item for changing an old fashion Caudle-cup, and three silver Skillets that were melted, 10 00 00 Item for the Use of his Excellency's Rooms, his Chairs and Cushions; as also for Candles and Scotch-Coales, while the Committee of Officers sat in his House, 500 00 00 Item for an innumerable company of Pectoral Rolls, and Lozenges, to dry up his Excellency's Rheum, at two pence a piece, 30 02 02 Item paid the Apothecary's Bill, for Pills and Glisters for the last Autumn, 31 12 00 Item for two Rolls of Spanish Tobacco for Colonel Sydenham, at twenty shillings per pound, according to the Protectors rate, and five black Pots to warm Ale in, at twelve pence a piece, together with ten groce of glazed Pipes, at nine shillings the groce, 45 13 04 Item for two gilt Horn-bookes for his great son, at two shillings six pence a piece, 00 05 00 Item bestowed upon the Lord Lambert five thousand pounds, to buy him the several Pictures of Moses, Mahomet, Romulus and Rhemus, Caesar, and all those that were the first Founders of large Empires and Kingdoms, 5000 00 00 Item presented to the Lord Lambert the Root of a Tulip, and a certain East-Indian Flower with a hard Name, which for their rarity, cost two hundred and fifty pound, 250 00 00 Item paid the said Lord, who is now no Lord, six thousand pound, to be spent the Lord knows how, in a certain Northern Expedition, which came to nothing, 6000 00 00 Item laid out for seven rich New Gowns, bespoke at Paris for the Lady Lambert, to be worn seven several days one after another, at her Husbands coming to the Crowns, every Gown valued at sixty pound, one with another, 480 00 00 Item for Pins and Gloves for the said Lady, 83 09 00 Item for seven New Whisks, laced with Flanders Lace of the last Edition, each Whisk valued at fifty pound, 350 00 00 Item for four hundred Packs of French Cards with Pictures, to play at Best and Picquet withal, 200 00 00 Item for a new pair of Spurs for Colonel Clark, and a new Whip with a silver Handle, and a Coral Whistle at the end of it, to call the Ostler, 003 06 00 Item for Vamping the said Colonels Riding-boots, and for new Spur-leathers, 10 00 00 Item laid out for Wedding Clothes for the Lord Lambert's Daughter, 1150 00 00 Item given to the Lord Wareston one thousand pounds to buy him a House and Land here, because his Lordship had expressed a very great dislike of his own Country, and was then resolved never to have gone thither any more, 1000 00 00 Item given to the Lord Strickland for his very ordinary Service, a dozen of gilt Nutmegs, at six pence three farthings a piece, 00 06 04 Item given to Colonel Berry five hundred pound, to buy him a three-handed sword, 500 00 00 Item given to Lord Mayor Tichborn three thousand pounds, to buy him a Hobby-horse and a clear Conscience, 3000 00 00 Item paid to a Spectacle-maker, for a Spectacle with one glass for Col: Hewson, four hundred pound, 400 00 00 Item paid for three great Saddles for the Lord Lawrence's son, and for Provender for his lofty Steeds, ever since the Protectors Political death, 500 00 00 Item reimbursed to the said Lord Laurence, several Sums of Money which his eldest Son had squandered away upon Poets and Dedications to his Ingenuity, to the value of five hundred pound more, 500 00 00 Item paid Sir Harry Vane to defray the extraordinary charges of his fruitless Voyage into the Hope, 800 00 00 Item given the Gunner for four Salutes as he went off the Admiral, ten pieces in gold, 12 00 00 Item paid the Scrivener for writing out the League made betwixt him and the Lord Lambert, when they joined their Forces together, 15 00 00 Item for a great sharp Knife to cut his Meat, according to his stomach, with an Agate handle, 02 04 01 Item for Caudles devoured by his Lady every morning, for these last three months, 60 07 02 Item allowed Sir Harry Vane five hundred pound, to pay for the Exchange of Money which he transferred into Holland, 500 00 00 Item allowed him him five hundred pound more, to buy him Fortunatus' Cap, 500 00 00 Item given to Colonel Cobbet three hundred pound, to buy him Mambrine's Helmet, and the Sword which St. George pulled out of the Rock, 400 00 00 Item disbursed to the Lady Thomas, at the request of her Father in law, four hundred and seventy pounds, to make her husband a new pair of Horns, his old ones being now worn our, 470 00 00 Item for new Chairs for the Council Chamber, and for brushing the Hang, and Airing the Room, for fear of any Infection that the Lord Lambert's enemies might leave behind them, 201 03 06 Item for Switches which the Lord Lambert wore out when he interrupted the Parliament, and for making clean his Boots the next day, 43 00 00 Item bestowed upon Mr. Holland nine hundred pound to buy him six New Iron chests, to lock up his Money in, 900 00 00 Item paid the Herald for a New Coat of Arms for Major General Disborough, with this Motto, God speed the Plough, fifty eight pound, 58 00 00 Item paid for new Matting one of his Bedchambers, sixteen pound, two shillings, two pence, 16 02 02 Item paid the Lord Whitlock one hundred pound for his great Swedish Cat, that it might be kept in the Tower as one of the Lord Lambert's Chattels, for the public benefit and satisfaction of the Nation, 100 00 00 Item paid the fellow that cut the Lord Lambert's corns, the day before he went out of Town, five pound in gold, 05 10 00 Item for a Tinder box for the Lord Lambert, with a thousand Card-matches to light his Candles with, when he waked in the night, 16 15 10 Item for half a score New Lasts for the Committee, to set their consciences upon when they began to pinch 'em, 30 07 00 Item taken by Mr. Cor. Holland five thousand pound, to satisfy himself for an old Debt owing him by King James, paid no less than twice before, 5000 00 00 Item taken by the Lord Whitlock, to satisfy himself for his Embassy into Swedeland, 20000 0 0 Item given to Mr. Thankful Owen, a small Collop to etch out his fortunes, 400 00 00 Item given to Mr. Brandrith a thousand pound, because he had never any thing given him before, 1000 00 00 Item presented by the whole Committee to the Lady Lambert, a Toothpick Case of Gold, beset all over with Diamonds, Rubies, and Emeralds, cost fifteen hundred pound, 1500 00 00 Item for a bundle of Rods, and Utine to soak them in, which Rods were prepared for those that voted the Lord Lambert out of Commission, 75 10 05 Item given to Cardinal Mazarine fifty thousand pounds, to show him there was Money stirring then in England, as well as in the Protectors time, 50000 0 0 Item bestowed upon Colonel Salmon five hundred pound, to buy him Borage-water, and Syrup of Gillyflowers, to keep up his heart, by reason of his continual sighing, 500 00 00 Item laid out of my own purse two hundred and fifty pound, for several Colations and Dinners both in Fish-street, and elsewhere, 250 00 00 Item for Bottles of Wine spent in my own house, one hundred pound, 100 00 00 Item for Banquetting-stuff, and Sweetmeats of all sorts, for my Wife to entertain Visitants; and for six new Flander-laced Smocks, 300 00 00 Item for a Necklace of Oriental Pearl, and three Diamond-rings, and a silver Warming-pan, 400 10 06 Item for a New great Powdering-tub, and a Suit of Tapestry hang, 61 05 00 Item laid out one hundred thousand pound, which was carried down to the banks of the River Tweed by way of Temptation, which being utterly refused, was afterwards distributed into private Quarters, which is all the account I am able to give of it, 100000 Item paid the Under-clerks of the Committee, several sums of Money spent in Alehouses and Bawdy-houses, according to their several accounts, amounting in all to one hundred eighty three pound, 183 00 00 Item paid Politicus five hundred and five pound, to make good several sums of Money by him lost in Bowling Green's, and at the Comb-makers Ordinary, 505 00 00 Item for Capers, Sampire, and Olives, and ten Bushels of Kentish Pippins for lambs-wool, being all very scarce commodities in the North, to furnish the Lord Lambert's Table, 700 06 02 Item for a hundred bottoms of Packthread, but for what use I know not, 103 00 00 Item for Ink, Paper, Pens, Wax, and blue Dust, 1000 00 00 Item for a hundred thousand pound of great Candles, and given as a Gratuity to the Chandler's boy for bringing them in, 2500 00 00 Item paid to Linck-boyes for lighting the Commissioners and Council of Officers home to their Lodgings, 94 00 00 Item paid unto the Sentinels, for pissing near the Guard, 057 03 06 Item for East-India Night-Gowns for the Commissioners, and the rest of the Officers, and for Nightcaps for them, 233 00 00 Item paid the Chaplains for three Fast-days, and for Pomecitron to keep the Commissioners empty stomaches from wambling, 789 00 00 Item for twelve pair of cut-fingered Gloves for myself to write in, 10 00 00 Item for Coffee which the Commissioners drank every morning, especially when they had got a Dose over night, 340 10 00 Item towards the repairing the Ruins of Trey, 20000 Item for Whips, Tops, and Joynted-babies, for the Commissioners younger children, 89 07 00 Item for writing out the Instrument of Government seven times over, 050 00 00 Item allowed Colonel Hewson, for his charges at the Sessions-house, 495 00 00 Item for three blue Beans in a blue Bladder, 93 00 00 Item paid to Lily for casting the Nativities of the Commissioners children, 500 00 00 Item given to Sir Harry Vane three thousand pound, to raise a Regiment of Anabaptists, 3000 00 0 Item bestowed by his appointment upon Inciters, Promoters, and Instigators, 1000 00 00 Item given as a present to the Pope twenty thousand pound by the said Sir Harry, for several and sundry courtesies done him by his Holiness, 20000 0 0 Item for a hundred new cords, which were to be used when the Lord Lambert came to Town; and also for new setting the Axe in the Tower, 204 05 10 Item for a very strong Padlock to be hung upon the Parliament House door, and a silver Key, which was to be delivered to St. Peter, to be by him kept till the Lord Lambert should call to him for it, 110 12 08 Item given the Porter of Wallingford-House, for letting the Officers in and out, and sitting up all hours of the night, 100 00 00 Item for drawing the Mortgage of my Lord Lambert's House and Lands, and for Fees to the Council, 200 00 00 Item for a New Riding-hat for his Lordship, because he was told that that which he wore in the day of his wrath, made him look like a Finsbury Archer, 10 00 00 Item bestowed in New years' gifts one upon another, every one giving out of the public stock, 7000 00 00 Item for a Paddle staff and a brown Bill for Major General Disborough, when his Worship pleases to walk his grounds, 07 10 00 Item paid to M. Saloway for Raisins, Corrans, and Pruens, at excessive rates, for the keeping of Christmas, 2000 00 00 Item laid out for Turbans, Sashes, and Scimitars for the Lord Lambert, and the rest of his Adherents, nine thousand five hundred fifty six pound, which made men think they would have turned Turks, had they come into power, 9556 00 00 Item to the three great Officers in the Commonwealth of Oceana, the Polemarch, the Strategus, and my Lord Epimonus, ten thousand pound, to buy 'em Figs, Melons, and yellow hats, 10000 00 0 Item given in charity to the State of Venice, who are the Bulwark of Christendom, 12000 00 0 Item laid out upon a great Hog-trough to be set up in Rumford, as a Trophy of their public Magnificence, 3000 00 0 Item sent into Lapland for the retaining of a certain Necromancer, who was to assist them in the carrying on their great Work, 5000 00 00 Item for black Wool and Civet, to stop the ears of the Committee and Council of Officers from hearing any thing that might tend to their own, or the good of the Nation, 50 00 00 Item laid out for a New Sceptre for his intended Highness the Lord Lambert, 500 00 00 Item for Granado's to fire the City, 100 00 00 Item paid for a pound of May butter, made of a Cow's Milk that fed upon Hermon Hill, given to the Lady Laurence for pious uses, 87 10 00 Item given to a Projector, toward a certain Design which he had to bring over an enchanted Castle, to secure the Lord Lambert's foes in, 5000 00 00 Item paid to another Projector, toward a Design which he had to look in the middle of the Western Ocean, for a great Spanish Gallioon that was sunk with the weight of the Gold that she carried, some thirty years ago, 2500 00 00 Item for a fair pair of Tables, with several bales of Dice, that those Commissioners who cared not to trouble themselves with the Affairs of the Nation, might not want something to pass the time away withal, 57 50 00 Item for nine Millstones for the Lord Lambert's nine Worthy's to wear about their necks in stead of George's, and for blue Ribbans to hang them in, 500 00 00 Item for one of the Emperor of Russia's cast Furre-Gowns, for the Laird Wareston to wear while he was Precedent of the Committee, 754 00 00 Item for a Shoemaker's Measure to be provided by Colond Hewson, for the Commissioners to take the length of the people's feet, 023 00 00 Item for a Tun of Salad-oil, to make their Tongues glib, when they were to talk with the Aldermen and Common council, 233 12 06 Item paid the Lord Fleetwood for Scraps given to the Beggars at his door, 300 00 00 Item for twenty pair of Castanets for the Ladies to dance Serraba●ds at Sir Harry Vanes sons wedding, 050 00 00 Item paid to the Army, Never a farthing. 000 00 00 Item paid to the Navy, as much. 000 00 00 Summa totalis, 430000 l.  
Thus your Honours may see how vainly and profusely we have squandered away a very considerable Sum, which your Honours had carefully laid up for better and more important uses. I shall only say this in the behalf of my Masters, that if you please not to be rigorous with them, and to call them to any further Account, they will take it not a little courteously, and be bound to pray for your Honours, though if your Honours think ●t to do otherwise, I do believe the whole Nation in general will be more indebted to your Justice.  
FINIS.