THE REFORMADO, Precisely Charactered by a Transformed Churchwarden, at a Vestry, LONDON.  
The Motion of the World this day  
Is moved the quite contrary way. HODIE SIC VERTITUR ORBIS. 

— Mutant quadrata rotundis.    a celestial globe rests on a lobster's back in the foreground of a mountainous coastline with a fortified harbour and sailing ship in the sea  
Do thou, these froward Motions LORD, restrain;  
And set the World in her due course again.   

THE REFORMADO, Precisely Charactered by a Modern Churchwarden, etc.  
IT was a blessed Easter (Brethren) that raised me up again to this ponderous service; and if any Feast be worthy of annual solemnity, my Vote is, that the Feast, of Easter (though movable, shall stand fast for ever. Antiquity tells me, that the Office Gardianis Eccclesiae, is an Office instituted and dignified by the Fundamental, known, Common, and Statute Laws of this Kingdom, (as for the Civil and Canon Laws, I have held them execrable, ever since the High Commission departed with a Duck in the mouth on't) and this honour is not to be conferred upon any, but such as are judicious and fidele, and able to employ (courageously and sincerely) the common stock of Treasure, and discretion belonging to the parish.  
It is not, I conceive, yet out of your memory how accurately I heretofore steered the affairs of Parochial Government; nor out of mine, with what alacrity you submitted to it: My deportment (than correspondent to those times) was a fair Character of square dealing, and was, I presume, a prime motive to your thundering acclamations, (which the echo of this roof witnessed to the next Parish) in re-electing me the principal Reformado of this Ecclesiastical Polity. In the exact execution whereof, I intent (with the assistance of my younger Brother, (whom I shall well educate for the next year) to use such precise diligence (for the remainder of my time) as may cashier many fears and jealousies, and settle many things, (hitherto incomposed) in such a graceful posture, that the trust of you, that confide in me, shall not in the least scruple be abused. But you must remember the old word Distingue tempora, and then (regarding the turning round of the times) you will conceive that the wind sits in another corner; and I must move by other Rules than formerly: for I am now more spiritually illuminated and possessed with sounder principles. The Civil Law is partly plundered, the Canons (old and new) have recoiled on the Canoniers, the numerous Army of Articles is routed, the Oath ex Officio put out of Office, and the bottomless etc. Oath is swallowed up. The Case thus standing, and that you may have a right understanding of your Moderator, take an Epitome of my Resolution; but withal take this fourfold advertisement along with you.  
First, that I will follow the present Fashion so far in my Discourse, as to keep no Order.  
Secondly, that my interspersion of Latin shall no way authorise the use of that Bestial Language in the Pulpit.  
Thirdly, that if my phrase transcend your plumbeous Capacity, you shall esteem it the fruit of my liberal education, before I ever handled the Shears, or fingered the thimble.  
Fourthly, That you, who (for solid edification) fall so nimbly to your Brachigraphy, shall not let this Oration pass Grub-street without my approbation, nor (if it may be) until a sweet Panegyric of my sister Hannah's composing may be annexed unto it.  
I begin with the Weathercock, which is an eminent, gilded, hollow, craking, combed, and variable creature, and doth so wonderfully sympathise with me in all, and with the present turning times in some special respects, that I do Order it to continue Statu quo prius; and the four Fanes adorned with the initial letters of my unspotted Name, shall be sedulous attendants upon't in my Livery, to go which way soever it goes. From the Weathercock I should have fallen immediately upon the Leads, but an Iron Cross hinders me in my way, which (with all other Crosses movable) shall be abolished, that nothing may go cross in our Design. The Leads I find profaned with the Images of corrupt hands, irregular feet, and with unsanctified names; they shall therefore be removed, purified with fire, and converted into Bullets to button the bosoms of the common adversary, and to seal up the brazen foreheads of the formidable Cavaliers. This being dispatched, I have made a fair thoroughfare to the five Bells, which had, indeed been out of frame long since, were it not that, sometimes they ring the Changes, (sweetly consenting therein with me) and sometimes audaciously proclaim an unknown Victory to the over-credulous, which inflames all their zeal and Faggots in an instant. There is an impeachment as strong as a threefold cord, against four of the Bells.  
First, they were baptised before the years of discretion.  
Secondly, three times a day they pollute the tune of the fourth Psalm.  
Thirdly, they have Idolatrous Inscriptions upon them, as (with a little of the Sexton's help) I have curiously discovered. For, upon the first Bell there is peccatoris; on the second mei; on the third, miserere, & Domine upon the fourth.  
Now, judge you (Brethren (who would seem, peradventure, to be as wise as your Officer in chief) is not Domine miserere mei peccatoris, notorious and gross Idolatry? are those words fit to be uttered by a Professor, unless it be with a holy detestation of such puddle? Ah, I see by the devout shaking of your heads, that your Brains are troubled about it, that your hearts abhor, and ache to think upon such rotten trash. Well, it is high time, that these four be no longer hanged, but Drawn, and Quartered, that they with the abominable Brass upon the Monuments of our Idolatrous Ancestors, (I pass not though an old Aunt of mine lies mouldering under one of them) may Concur for the making of Ordinance to batter down the posterity of their Donors. The Wheels (being but Hemicircular) shall Hang there like Meteors between Heaven and Earth; but the Ropes may serve (the next Sessions) at the wooden Tripod two miles out of Town, for the use of those that will not stretch their endeavours for Independency the Liberties of the Daws, (our beloved Allies) will, by this means, be enlarged; and we will further confirm their Incorporation, that from time to time they may make such Ordinances, as are consistent with the Privileges of their house, and conducible to the bene esse of their Commonwealth, keeping their Courts ad libitum, in the upper Region of the Tower, as we do here in the Vestry. The Clock and Dial, because they go round, shall take their usual course, only by a pious fraud, they shall go somewhat earlier in the morning and later at night, than Truth would admit of. This shall be my godly Revenge upon three crook-legged youths of mine, who had rather encounter (at home, with whole Brigades of Egyptian foot soldiers, than advance a yards length (in a Holy cause) against a single Cavalier.  
I have dwelled somewhat long in the Steeple: now we will come to Church, where (in the first place) I see the Font taking up so much room that would be capable of two double Taffeta Gowns; which I confess, I should not so strictly have observed, had not the discontented yoak-fellows of my Dyer, & hotpresser, (who are crowded up behind the door) drawn me to it. Away with it, this Font is abominable, a Basin will be more apt for the service, since it is not our happiness to enjoy such a blessed River as our dear brethren and sisters at Hackney are washed withal. And those lofty Pewes which are higher by the head and shoulders, than their Inferiors, shall be circumcised, that our grave Matrons, and sweet heavenly minded sisters, (whose posture, turning their faces westward, is most amiable) may have a more cheerful influence upon us their Governors.  
The Pulpit, (in respect of the form of it, (being almost round) is tolerable, although my neighbour Zacharie the Cooper, Caprecious vessel) could fashion out one more seemly, and to better purpose; but the situation of it (looking too much towards revolted York) shall suffer a Reformation, and at the Parish charge, it shall be secured with a substantial Padlock, lest they, whom the mere natural man calls profound, pious, loyal, and Orthodox Divines should saucily intrude it. I can partly tell you the poor condition of those silly Priests; Assoon as they ascend the Pulpit, they fall on their knees for divine Assistance, as if they could not be cocksure of it at all times: then they have a premeditated prayer, not much exceeding a quarter of an hour, wherein they petition for peace and unity, and pray for Kings, Queens, Princes, and such kind of people, and supplicate our Saviour Christ for choice blessings upon Arch-Bishops and Bishops, whom we have found (by the Spirit that we lead about us) to be the strongest Limbs of Antichrist. After this mess comes the Sermon, which is the greatest part of a weeks study, (written perhaps, over and over) yet, may be delivered in an hour. Their Conclusions, (which we are neither able, nor willing to understand, are confirmed by Scripture, Fathers, and Reason. They consult with the Original Tongues, and such Authors as are called Authentic and Classical, fetching their water from the Primitive springs, because they (empty Casks) think they cannot have as pure nearer home: So, by their great skill in Divinity, gracefully attended (forsooth) with variety of humane learning, they will exhort us to study to be quiet, to try the spirits, to be Charitable, moderate, obedient to the higher powers, and to do things according to Order, with a great deal of such hungry thin stuff; I have utterly done with them and theirs, and am hearty overjoyed, that ever I thought of this happy Pad-lock.  
The Pulpit-Cloth was the Legacy of a blind Zealot, as appears by that Jesuitical badge, (I. H. S.) upon't; for, as some of our learned Professors do conceive, I. signifies Idolatry. H. Heresy, S. Superstition. Oh, here's good work! What but flat Popery can be expected from a Pulpit aparreled with such a Livery? These Letters of gold shall be delivered to the Finer to make Silver withal, and the Velvet (because it deserves a better Wardrobe and the costly infirmities of the Testator should be hidden by our Christian Charity) shall be converted into Window-Cushions for my new-reformed Parlour, where I intent frequently to entertain those immaculate Assemblies, which the un-regenerate call Conventicles. The Hourglass shall be turned out of doors; for our extemporal Teachers may not keep time with Clock or Glass; and so, when they are out, (which is not very seldom) they can take leisure to come in again; whereas, they that measure with meditations by the hour, are often graveled by complying with the Sand.  
The Organs are of levitical, or Popish institution, and like the breath of a Basilisk, they deter hence the two prime Grandees of the Parish, (the most Celestial Almanac-makers', and best tempered Potter, that ever lived by heaven and earth.) They drown the Virgin-melody of the Gallery, and middle Alley; and against our wills bring our confused Notes into Order; therefore, though I adventure my neck (as that desperado did in Worcester's Cathedral, and his Predecessor at Cheapside Cross) I will set them such a Flat that shall lay them breathless on the pavement. This Romish merchandise will yield good English Coin at Paul's or the next Cathedral that is not Bankrupt. The Table of Degrees prohibited in Marriage is obsolete, and so is marriage itself as here it hath been used; for I see no ground to the contrary: but when all things are common (as they ought to be) a man may marry, whom, when, where, and as often as he will. This is a very short, but a sweet and comfortable Doctrine to you (my dear and attentive Auditory) and so the sudden pricking up of the ears doth assure me.  
Let us now, take a little survey of our Church-books. The Bible (which always comes first to my sight and handling) hath a dangerous Apocryphal Obstruction in the very Bowels of it, which is of a Malignant influence upon the whole Body. This is composed of such Histories, as bind not our credence, and morality which shall not be the rule of our Practice; it must needs be presently expurged. Yea, the Canon itself, in respect of Translation is not free from infirmity (and indeed it is no marvel, since so many mitred heads had their hands in the doing of it.) The Geneva version is fare beyond it: But old Hugh Broughton, if he might have been suffered, had exceeded them both; A learned Synod, (without either root or branch of Episcopacy) must be the only Aesculapius to cure this evil.  
The Errata of the Book of Common prayer (as some call it) or rather the Lithurgy of the Church of England, were they expressed at large, would over-bulke the Bible; yet the ravenous Esau's of the world, had rather lose all their Liberties and Proprieties (which are their Birthright) than one mess of this red and black Pottage; I will not contaminate my lips, nor abuse your chaste ears with so much as naming any errors that are in it; but refer you to Rabbi Lewis Hughes (the glory of the last British Druids) and divers others, who have, already, smitten this Belphegor under the fift rib. It further behoves us that the singing Psalms be rescued from the back of such a Monster, and from those other humane inventions Te Deum, Da pacem Domine, & Quicunque vult: but, whosoever will that any (except the 150 Psalms) be continued, may do well, (in my understanding) to defend Robert Wisdom's Preserve us Lord.  
There is an error in John Jewels works, but it is an error with a witness, and, although it be palliated over Jure Divine, yet it is instar omnium errorum, and hath in it the spawn of all Abominations; it is beyond pity, that such a Gem should ever be defiled with so base a Cognisance; He was a Bishop. The very word Bishop, (I fear I offend in naming it so often) imparts all the mischiefs that are Destructive to a Common Church or State. Your holy indignation (brethren) is well expressed by the present groan of your spirits, but be comforted, for these stall-fed Lordly Prelates must come shortly, to their fatal Banquet. Erasmus his Paraphrase hath found the more favour hitherto at my hands, because he sometime wrote a Tract in the praise of foolishness; but when I remember some popish passages in his Colloquies, which I read when I was at Merchant Tailor's school; I cannot well resent his best labours. The book of Deus & Rex is a pamphlet quite out of my books merely, for the Oaths sake that is in it. These Oaths of Supremacy and Allegiance are binding things; the latter was imposed upon me when I was a novice, and it hath so hampered me this year, that I would fain, if possible, cast off these manacles: for it is almost Hell itself to us that should be independent, to be so pinioned.  
The Book of thirty nine Articles is in many things diametrally opposite to our fundamental Principles, it must necessarily be with-drawn, or farewell our Diana for ever. All the afore-named corrupt volumes shall be translated out of the Church, and all the Isles thereof, into little Britain, or else into Smithfield.  
We have but one Manuscript, (I mean the Register) and that must be Corrected; for the names of all those that were crossed at their Baptism, ringed at their Marriage, or prayed over at their Burial shall be cancelled. No Names henceforth shall be engrossed here, unless they were first Registered in holy Writ: nor will we keep a Record of the names of strange Preachers any more; for, they may deliver good Doctrine in the City, who never had Orders or good name in the Country.  
The Communion-Table hath, long since, regained its ancient Name, and Site; and I hope our nimble-joynted Mass Priests shall never be suffered to offer or cringe there, any more: But I will be bold, with the round pillars that environed it, (when the Leprous Superstition is scraped off) to make an impregnable fence for my hospitable Buttery. I do well remember the Plate, (he that can forget Plate this year, may be Ordered to forget it for ever.) I know to what furnace it might be conveyed, to what Use and Form converted, and by what means multiplied and faithfully secured; but there is such a Noli me tangere upon it, that I dare not finger the twentieth part of it.  
The Parish Cash yet, is ready to my hand, and I will presume to seize upon a fleece of it, to maintain at the Church-door, a guard of Long-tailed Vociferadoes, such as Giles Cripplegate, and Olaves old Jewry had, lest the Conjuring Litany should rush in upon the fourth and sixth day of the week, (Heathenishly called Wednesday and Friday) that Prayers be not read against Pride, vainglory, and hypocrisy, etc. and, lest the Babylonian garment, (the Surplice) be shouldered in, again among us; for, to Professors of our Complexion, no smock is more odious, than that of the Whore of Rome, nor any Petitions more terrible, than those that would obliterate our principal Character.  
Some of our Dim-eyed Ancestors could see unhappily, to make their Simplicity Legible upon the Church-Walls, by setting up the Lord's Prayer (as they termed it) which is too narrow a directory, or Summary of our Petitions: The Ten Commandments, which are not (I conceive) absolutely Obligatory now, under the Gospel, and the Creed, which is not (I believe) Apostolical; nor am I bound to stand to't. These shall, in good manners, give the Wall to choicer Scriptures, and I will be the Master of the sentences, to select them. The taking down of the popish pictures, out of the Windows, and bringing them, (by a legal trial) to a second Martyrdom, was a laudable, and transparent work of my immediate Predecessor; But, nil simul inventum & perfectum, Rome was not built in a day, nor can it be demolished in a year, (unless this great year, or the next does it. There is one pretty scandalous Baby yet left in the East-window; it hath a trim Coat on, and an Orient lustre about the head on't.) The Sexton's Grandam, (blind soul) who well remembers the setting up of it) showed it me, and told me it was our Blessed Lady; but truly, if she were my Mother, and as high as heaven, I will (as Duty binds me) make her Kiss her mother earth once again. And the Angels on the roof of the Church, (though they did cost five shillings a piece the gild) shall have their Wings clipped, and fall down to salute her. The day whereon this pious work shall be done, may be called the Desumption of our Lady; and (if Authority will permit) it shall be Callendered next unto my Birthday, which they call o Sapientia.  
Queen ELIZABETH'S Monument was put up (at my charge) when the Regal Government had fairer credit among us than now: and her Epitaph was one of my Brother Jonathan's best Poems, before he abjured the University, or had a thought of New-England. I have had no small struggling within me about the toleration or abolition of this Statue; and at last, have resolved it shall continue, but with a Curtain to veil it, that we may regard, or disregard it at our pleasure: For, methinks in Forty four years reign, she might (if she pleased) have bated the Beast of Rome to better purpose, and wrought a more through Reformation; yet, (notwithstanding Her Majesty's omissions of sorrowful memory) of her successor (King James) had not been too wise and learned, asswell as too peaceable, for our Generation, and his Divines too sinewy for ours to grapple with at Hampton Court, we had finished that work long ago; which never since, till now could meet with so fair an opportunity. The Escutcheons that are quartered over our heads in the body of the Church, are Emblems of those honours which some of our noble Progenitors purchased with the hazard of their blood, in defence of Religion, known Laws, and liberty of the subject. I will give them leave to be hanged. But when I take notice of the Royal Arms, and their Motto (Beati pacifici.) I cannot for the present, but enteraine some mutinous, Disloyal, rebellious thoughts; and a furious zeal would soon drive them into action, were it not that Conscience, allegiance, and Honi Soit, upon the blue garter, did countermand it.  
Some alteration would be of postures, and names as well as things; For truly, I cannot, with an upright Conscience, condescend to kneeling at the Sacrament: we are not not required to be so flexible in a superstitious adoration; my advice is, that we either sit familiarly, or stand to't courageously; nor ought our Gesture to be the same now, at the Gospel, Creed, or Glory be to the Father, etc. as it was in the beginning. These and other like Gesticulations, came first into this Country, from the City which stands on seven hills, and thither (with all such Baggage) let them trudge again. As for names, I see no warrant, but under the man of sins own Seal, that this Church should be called Saint Clement's; nor indeed, (as I have learned, since I was enlightened) that it should be called a Church. We, only, can discern who are Saints, who Reprobates; and it is not hard to find, who and what this Clement was, and yet deal gently with him.  
But I see an approaching Reformation in this very particular; the Parish Clerks have already passed it by their weekly Bills, and other under-Officers (as zealous as he that lashed a Car-man for whistling the tune of a Psalm to his horse) do punish our Roman Harlots for crying Saint Thomas Onions, (although they know such Egyptian Roots cannot be sanctified.) The Law is the same concerning Saint john's Wort, and Carduus Benedictus. And for this building, which hitherto we ignorantly called a Church it is indeed but an old pile of Stones, (I hope to see more sumptuous, and magnificent Prisons ere long) It was built at their charge who vainly, thought a decent Barn or Stable too homely for a Christian Synagogue, and was consecrated (saving your presence) by some Prelate, as Superstitious as the Founders. The verity of it is, We are the Church, and this Fabric (till we are otherwise provided) is but a meeting place, (where to our great grief) there is too often, a miserable mixture of the profane with the godly; for redress whereof, there is no other way then (in a tumultuous fashion) to present such a Petition as Authority must not contradict.  
The Ingens opus, and Masterpiece of all, now calls aloud for your quickened attention, inflamed zeal; and well-setled endeavours; I mean the discreet-election of an able, and sincere Pastor, whose model I have conceived briefly thus.  
He must not proceed from Wales, or either of the Universities; for than we shall never understand him; nor yet from Jericho, lest the gravity of his beard give us cause to suspect the truth of his Enthusiasms, and inspirations; but he shall be a a smooth, sweet young man, well descended (not from Levi, but) from the Tribe of Gad, or Manasses, and trained up in Amsterdam, the Isle of Silly, or (if you please) in our own neighbour hood, where we have good choice of such whose Mechanic professions have left them to make the Pulpit (as others do the sword) their quum nemini. Here are Feltmakers that can roundly deal with the blockheads, and neutral Demicasters of of the world: Cobblers who can give good Rules for upright-walking, and handle Scripture to a Bristle: Coachmen, who know how to lash the beastly enormities, and curb the headstrong insolences of this brutish age, stoutly exhorting us to stand up for the truth, lest the wheel of destruction roundly overrun us. We have Weavers, that can sweetly inform us of the Shittle-swiftnesse of the time, and practically tread out the vicissitude of all sublunary things, till the web of our life be cut off. And here are Merchants of my Profession, who can separate the pieces of Salvation from those of Damnation, measure out every man's Portion, and cut it out by a thread, substantially pressing their points till they have fashionably finished up their work, with a well-bottomed conclusion.  
Out of this Cross heap (wherewith we are so comfortably surrounded) we may pick such a one, that with a Stentorian voice, (making more use of his Lungs, and nose then nature requires) shall reprove our sins in that kind and measure as we would have him, shall courageously sound an Alarm to Battle, and tell us the event of a war before it begins, by expounding old Visions and Prophecies, better than he that was in Pathmos. He shall not need to travail for Orders to the Prelatical Hierarchy, he shall receive Orders from us: I have drawn up some of them already for him; and by these you may judge of the whole; ex ungue leonem, as we used to say.  
His Habit shall be a high crowned Hat, a black leather Cap., a sad medley Cloak, and Jerkin of the same, Violet Hose, and Russet Stockings.  
His Laudresse shall evidence his hatred of white Linen; and his Barber shall so roundly indent with his Head, that our eyes may as well see his ears, as our ears hear his Doctrine.  
In his fathomless prayers he shall dispense much with the third Commandment, and take the Lords name in vain ex tempore; cutting out more work for God in an hour and a half, than a sober man can expect ever to be performed by him that is most wise; and if at any time (forgetting himself) he pray for the King's Majesty, it shall be with such distractions, and Dilemmaes, that we can hardly distinquish it from Treason.  
His Text must never be divided (we shall make sufficient Divisions among ourselves) but he shall wander from it, as if it were not a tangible body, only in case of pure necessity, he may (for a Moment) make it a place of retreat, and then frisk abroad again.  
His Understanding shall be free from all Liberal Arts and Sciences: his conversation from all humanity, and his Discourse from all figures, except Hysteron proteron, Hyperbole, Tautalogia, and other Flowers of the like sent and colour.  
He shall use no Language but his Mother-Tongue, and the Hebrew, (if he hath attained to it) making choice of his Authors accordingly, such as Aben Ezra, Rabbi David Kimchi, and the rest.  
He must abominate the Greek Fathers, chrysostom, Basil, and all the bundle of such unwholesome herbs; also the Latins, whom the Pope-bellied Graybeards of the Town call Saint Ambrose, Saint Augustine, etc. The intricate Schoolmen, as Aquinas, and our devilish learned Countryman, Alexander Halensis shall not come within the sphere of his Torrid Brain, lest his Pia Mater be confounded with their subtle distinctions; but (by special dispensation) he may (for names sake) cast an eye sometimes upon Scotus: and; (when he hath married a sister) upon Cornalius a Lapide.  
His English Authors should be curiously culled also: He must not so much as name Whitgift, Boys, Hooker, nor any of the rabble of Anti-Brownists, or Conformists: But his chief guides shall be Knox, Browne, Barrow, Robinson, and that never sufficiently honoured and admired Howes (not the Chronologer, but) one of our late and best Translators) He was a man that feared not to come close to the heels of truth; but was a laborious applyer of strong points to the last, and had always a lift or two for the Back-slider: If any one stood stobbornly on his Pantofles, he could work him as pliable as Wax; if there were a Schism in his charge, both his Hands and Awl should make up the breach in a zealous contraction; He well observed the footsteps of his Auditory, and grafted much goodness into those that had gone aside, driving his Holy instigations so home, that, wheresoever they went, they were sensible of them. In a word, he was the hammer of all humane learning, a most industrious converter of soles; and in a short space, did set forth more works in Oxe-hides, than old Tostatus did all his life time. Oh— I can never mention his name, nor visit his monument in Finzbury, but presently these spiritual pangs surprise me— Oh— He is gone, he is gone. But there is heavenly comfort provided for us, or our posterity; for I was told, even now in any Vision, that he shall come again, and teach on earth before the last day. And now, hearty thanking you Holy Brethren for your present patience, I will proceed where I left.  
When our Souls are blest with a Doctor of these, and the like rare qualifications, the next considerable will be his stipend (for this Ox will not be muzzled) which I conceive (under favour) should be the ampler, in regard there will be little or no use of him for weddings, Church, and Burials; which, in our late purblind times, yielded the Incumbent (as the Lawyers called him) a comfortable Revenue. I think well (with submission to your Judgements) that we advance him to forty marks per annum but with this proviso, that our benevolent Sisters shall not be inhibited their voluntary contribution of money, (if the Plunderer hath not sent it marching into the field) or Plate, (if any be left upon the Cupboard) Linens, and other necessaries, which I am confident will amount to twice as much. This was the mere motion of my Reverend Mother, and dear Sister, whose voice may be heard where mine cannot.  
And whereas we never continue long in any one Opinion, but separate daily, from Separation to Separation, I hold it expedient that once in every fourteen days, (which shall be the new and full of the Moon, the true Moderatrix of our brains) we have a solemn meeting in my sanstified parlour, where our Prophet shall give us a concise exhortation of two hours long, or some such matter, and then we may admonish him of such things as in the matter or manner of his former Labours, were not correspondent to our humours, and may direct him (for the future) how long, how broad, how high, and how deep he shall teach us; how gently or tartly he shall handle our sores, and when he shall restrain, when enlarge our Liberty. And then refreshing ourselves in a Christian manner, with a chirping cup of Canary, and such good thing as the Gentlewomen will minister unto us (being devoutly consecrated by a longwinded benediction) every one shall departed home with such precise heedfulness as may prvent the scurrilous tongues of the Malignants; for, (I must tell you) we have a sort of scoffing Ishmaelites, that will undertake to see sin where God cannot; and with their black mouths will persecute the meekest Isaac upon the earth.  
These, with some other things (I know not well what) are the Compendium of my thoughts, leaving nothing material to the care of my Successors, but the subversion of the Crosse-Ile, the demolishing of the Arches, (if without danger it be feisable) and the turning of the main structure North, and South, (which now most offensively stands East and West) or taking it all asunder for a purer Edification. Now only remains, that in a pretty Diminutive Vote, you please to give your Brotherly assent unto the premises.—  
Never was Vestry shaken with such a Thunderclap! the Air seldom suffers such a holy violence; your loud Christian clamour brought this earth into such a fit of trembling, that (I am partly persuaded) the Graves were in some doubt they should be dispossessed of their Guests; But I am sure this Gale hath driven out Billows of joyful Tears at my eyes, and blown my zeal into an extinguishable conflagration, which had well-nigh puffed me up into another Ecstasy. This is Vis unita indeed that can set all the Elements on work thus at a clap. Your unanimous approbation, (my zealous brethren) obligeth my extremest abilities to the prosecution of my Intendments; resolving as long as the old word (Magistratus indicat virum) stands firm, my demeanour shall express me to the life, and make me famous to posterity.  
And if the well-tuned Vox Populi of this Precinct will honour me (the next Nativity-tide) to be your proper Common-counsel man, my learned Oratory in Guild-Hall and Pious Devotion in the whole Service, shall render me as Pragmatical, and Fanatical a Member in the civil-government, as possibly I can be in the Ecclesiastical.  — Smell insanivimus omnes. 
FINIS.