THE NOBLE PAMPHLET, Or, a PIG'S HEAD and a POPPET-PLAY, Provided for the Rebels at WESTMINSTER, against this Bartholomew Fair: A Rattle for the Fool Fairfax, half a bushel of Nuts for the Synod to crack, a new godly ballad for the Saints of the Army, and a pair of sharp knives for the City.  
By the Author of the winding sheet.  
Draw back this leaf, and see discovered,  
That which all this while hath hovered:  
Behind a cloud, here read and see,  
The juntoes, covert Treachery:  
Fairfax his frauds, the Synods guile,  
The Army's purpose all this while:  
The City's madness, see in short,  
All this, and thank the Author for●.  
Printed in the year 1648.   

A Pigges-Head, and A POPPET-PLAY, Provided for the PARLIAMENT: against this Bartholomew Fair.  
PArdon, ye Rebels of either house, I ask you forgiveness, ere I cut your throats, do you not wonder at it, i'll tell you I intent to hang you in effigy, till the wished for time arrive, that the substance supply the shadow, and esteeming it no disparagement to my function, to be your executioner, I observe the headman's custom for form sake, and superficially crave your remission:  

Thus do I kneel, thus beg, o cruel Turks,  
Who defy Pluto, yet do all his works:  
Most zealous Rebels, whom the whole world curses,  
The blessed Reformers of our plate, and purses:  
Geneva-Goblins, sent to fright our souls,  
And quaff our purple blood in mazor bowls:  
Who love your Prince, so well you wish him dead.  
That so a wreath of start might deck his head:  
I do obsecrate you, ye fiend in clay,  
No crimes upon my innocence to lay:  
Not to be angry though I call you knave's,  
Cheaters, and murderers, villains, and slaves:  
Not to be moved with ire, you know that I,  
Am but the instrument of Destin●●   
You had a plot upon the Poppets that should have adorned St. James his fair, but it took not, for the tap-houses were erected, the mutton-mongers resorted, the Courtesans were jumbled, the good fellows tippled, and the Ox was roasted, cum privilegio, 'tis fair time with you all the year long, and therefore no marvel if you envy all others profits, but I hope you will permit your associates of the beloved City to make their mercats this next Bartholomew Fair, you know the matter is between you and them, as between the lecher and his whore, what he put in at the mouth goes out at the— so what they gain by their trades inricheth your purses, I have a strong faith that you will shut up shop 〈◊〉 Westminster for one day, and having laid aside the grand affairs of cheating, and murdering the people spend some certain hours in recreation, I am of the opinion, that it will much solace your tired spirits, whet your wits to invent strange and unheard of stratagems, and quicken your greedy desire of rule, I am confident you will come, and in certain assurance thereof have provided you, a Pigs head, and a Poppet-play, hark in your ears.  
'Tis a Pig of one of these sows, into whom your patron Pluto got, when he hurried a whole heard violently into the sea, it shall be roasted before the hot fire of Ambition, turned about by the Schismatic Sedition, basted by the Patriarch Hypocrisy, the sauce shall be prepared by the fat cook Sacrilege, it shall be usherd by the grave verger Policy, and served up by a penitent Skelleton, called, Too late to Repent, after you have sufficiently eaten to your content, I have devized a Poppet play, 'tis thus:  
The Scene is England, the Actors are all Parliament-men, you may know them by their robes, and the fearful characters written in their faces, they are attended by whole troops of Committee-Cannibals, Excise-men, Messengers or, Pettifoggers, Rogues, and Rascal's, their 〈◊〉 will be to work upon the giddy spirits of the people, and to inveigh their floating brains, that the present Government, burdensome Aristocratical cruel and tyrannous, they will underhand deal with them by their agents earnestly to petition, that failing to threaten the ruin of their King and his posterity, unless he presently yield his assent, for the satisfaction of their desires, the King beholding the evils of their intents, for the preservation of his own, his Queen, and children's lives, leaves his chief Metropolis, and betakes himself to a place of safety, his Parliament inwardly glad at his departure, petition the people to petition them that the Government of the Church be altered that a most incomparable Statesman, and a most unworthy pillar of the Church be put to death, which is performed, the one prophesieth, and the other preacheth at the scaffold, or place of execution, this bloody business over, they proceed to take away the fundamental laws of the land, Root and branch, their King perceiving their treacheries, declareth against them, dubbing them with the due epithets of Rebels and Traitors, the people deluded by their pretences, cry up their cause as the cause of Gods, Armies are by them immodiately levied, a cuckoldly Lord chosen for their General, and all the land turned into a confusion, their pious Prince (constrained thereto for his own safety) raiseth forces to oppose them, the chief gentry of the land side with them, he fights with the Rebels for the space of seven years, (to the exceeding decay of his people, and to his great grief of Soul) yet at last might [according to the proverb] overcomes right, he is totally subdued, and forced to fly for shelter amongst his own Countrymen, they unworthily desert him, and return him into his enemy's hand for money, they clap him up close prisoner, and like base villains, make a mock at his misery, he is beaten and receiveth a black eye, of his jailer, a slave, (whom ere this play conclude) I present unto you torn to pieces by dogs, in the mean time the earth is made drunk with the blood of Innocents' prodigally shed by command of the Rebels, all order and discipline is taken away, the ministers of God are murdered and silenced, and mechanic Scums, viz. Tailors, weavers, and mopmakers, take upon them the sacred function of the ministry, and infect the people, with nonsense, blasphemy, and Treason, while the Rebels squeeze out the hearts bloods of the poor Communality, by taxations, excise, contributions, loans, plunders, and freequarter, and fatten themselves inmischief wallowing in all excess of riot, impoverishing the nation, and cramming their own bags till they strut again, and in hope to take away Monarchical Government, and to make themselves 〈◊〉 State, they vote they will settle the kingdom without their King, neither make any addresses to him, or receive any message from him, the people perceiving into what a bondage they are brought become as zealous haters as before they were lovers of the Rebels, they begin to cogitate the happy days they enjoyed under the●r most gracious King, and curse themselves that ere they rebelled against him, resolving to pull down these tyrants, whom they had advanced, and [if it be possible] to recover their King, lost laws and liberties, they generally rise, threatening vengeance against their bloody oppressors, who to defer their punishment, vote that they will treat with their King, the people see it, and laugh at their gullery, and perfidious hypocrisy, they fetch their King to London, with all honour and due respects, cease on the Rebels, and clap them in the dungeon, restore their King to his rights, and surrender them to the gallows, this is the plot of the play I intent to present you with, the Poppets are set on screws, and have their motion by a crabbed fellow, called, the Critic observer, they are presented by Fame, and their several morions explained by truth.  

How like you this, this cannot sure affright you,  
Alas you know I study to delight you.   
I am not without hopes, but Tom Fairfax will make a shift to halt to this Fair, to make merry with your memberships, I have provided the traitorous fool a rattle, which I will thus bestow upon him.  

Degenerate villain, perjured slave,  
Thou monstrous Ass, (yet cunning knave)  
Cursed in thy mother's womb, who brought,  
A firebrand forth, thou that hast sought:  
To strike thy King, and nation dead,  
o'er them in triumph for to tread:  
Who with thy sword dost justify,  
The Rebels in their Treachery:  
Yet at St. Alban once didst swear,  
To God, thy King, and all were there,  
For to supplant the Rebels hopes.  
And for to pull out all their props:  
To be the thunderbolt of Fate,  
And Charles thy Lord, to reinstate,  
Thy ruine's near, which all shall see,  
Mean time, take this [forced gift] of me.   
Nor are the Synodical simplicians (I hope so Stoical, but they will be pleased also, to accompany your grand Rebelships in this invitation, come be not nice, we know, ye hypocrites, that you have fat whores, as well as larded benefices, and prefer your God belly, before the Almighty jehovah, you knew well enough that the outing of the Bishops from their Sees, would prove your entrance into wealthy live, while those who formerly enjoyed them, whose learning and Loyalty pronounceth them worthy of honours and profits, wander about the kingdom like forlorn wretches, languish in prison or beg their daily bread of men, I have a thing within me, whispers you will come, against which time, I have provided you half a bushel of such Nuts as these to crack:  
The first will prove a terror to your teeth, 'tis this, whether or no throughout the whole Book of God, there be any warrant, any one precedent or colourable example, that a Subject [without the hazard of Soul] may rise in actual Rebellion against his Sovereign, upon any pretence, or for the attaining of any end [tend it ne'er so much to the glory of God, and his Country's welfare [and whether the Rebels at Westminster, who have pretended both yet have performed neither, are not liable, therefore to punishment here, and hereafter?  
Whether yourselves ought to be censured even to agravation, for convening yourselves together in opposition to the Bishop's Government, yea, whether you ought not to have your ears nailed for perjury, in that you have, [contrary to your oaths taken at the time of your commencement, and when you received Orders] been the principal authors of the Bishop's ejectment, and the stirrers up of the people against the Book of Common-prayer, with the decent rites, and necessary Ceremonies of the Church?  
Thirdly, Whether he that fears not God, can honour the King, (I mean knowingly, and as a Christian ought) and whether he that honours the King [in order aforesaid] can be other thou a fearer of God.  

These are the prime Nuts, pray crack them first;  
Then take the rest, and feed until you burst.   
But (for that I know) the black Saints of the Army are not at leisure to leave Colchester as yet, I shall not expect their company at the Fair, but as a tender of my love, I send them this Ballad, which I would have them sing, to the tune of a Song, I writ some years since called, I would if I could.  

England.  
Most blessed knaves,  
Who dig the graves:  
For Loyalty and reason,  
You errand holy Zealots,  
Who hug [the varlet] Treason.  
Shall virtue suffer still,  
England unto your will:  
Shall plunderers bear sway,  
And Loyalty obey.   

Army.  
we'll ne'er assen●, our Parliament  
Shall be adjourned quite,  
For who shall vote us money,  
As 'tis most requisite,  
we'll rule you all by force,  
While we are foot and horse:  
Your wives, your goods are ours,  
Enthral into our powers.   

England.  
Therefore ye goats,  
we'll cut your throats,  
And ●ead you swift to h●ll:  
For a●● your Base projections,  
No age can paral●●●.  
we'll mince you to the pot,  
And hang you up by lo●:  
Your ●●ly hides we'll over.  
And kill you, over and over.   
My tame wittols of the City, I am certainly assured to have store of you at this Fair, with your Fair wives in your wooden houses, and for you, for that I find now that you begin somewhat to be reform clean contrary to the intents of your Reformers, after you have wearied yourselves in iniquity you are now sat down to count your gains & find you have accrued nothing but iron in your wounds and gunpowder in your nostrils, having exchanged your liberty for slavery, your King for Tyrants, your God for Besial, and your honour for shame, I say since I see you have now found your error, and resolve no longer to be ridden & exhausted, I shall bestow upon you these pair of knives.  
They are exceedingly well tempered and of an exquisite form, fashioned by a most accomplished Artist, called, Self Preservation, with one of them I should have you to cut holes in the skins of those desperate and bloody Sectaries of the Army, as also of those under the conduct of the Treacherous Saint Skippon, all whom are engaged by oath to rob and plunder you, in case you shall not join with them in their damnable intents, for the deposing the King, for extirpating the Nobility, for the setting up of a boundless Independency, & for the attaining a parrity without nomination.  
With the other I would have you to salute the Rebels of the lower House, as joab did Abner, and to be of the same mind that Ireton once was of [when the Army and you were at difference] to purge and purge, and never leave purging the Houses, till you quite root out all the Regecides, and bloody destroyers there.  

That done, with speed to search the land,  
And stab all Traitors out of hand:  
Then to bring home your King in Peace,  
All hostile actions for to cease:  
Place him in throne, the Church restore,  
Unto her Pastors as before t  
Recover your lost laws age●,  
Which done, be happy joyful men.   
FINIS.