THis Discourse (Entitled, The godly man's choice) written by a now deceased friend, together with those directions added by a reverend Divine yet living, I approve to be printed and published.  
Joseph Caryl. July 24. 1644.   

THE GODLY man's CHOICE: OR A Direction how single godly persons, who intend Marriage, may make choice of a fit and meet yokefellow. Being the Meditations of Caleb Grantham in his single estate, as a Rule and Guide for himself to walk by. And since his death perused and published with some profitable directions how persons should live as becometh Christians in the married estate.  
By Henry Scudder, Minister of the Word.  Prov. 19 14. Houses and riches are the inheritance of the Fathers, and a prudent wife is from the Lord. 
LONDON, Printed by Matthew Simmons for Henry Overton in Popes-head Alley. 1644.   

TO THE RIGHT honourable JOHN, Earl of Exeter, Baron of Burley, &c.  
Noble Lord,  
MAny whose eyes are upon your Lordship, do acknowledge the good hand of the Lord towards you, not in conferring eminency of honour upon you in your minority, (as it were, before your time) but in giving you a serious discerning spirit, far above your years, whereby they conceive great hope, and pour out many prayers to the Lord, that he may in due time bring you forth in public, as a choice Instrument in the hand of your God, to do worthily 
Ruth 4. 11  in Ephratah, and to be famous in Bethlehem.  
Among others the publishers of this small Treatise, (part whereof being the meditations, of a pious young man, now with God, and the residue the labour of a reverend Divine) to declare their great affection to your Lordship, have importuned me to recommend this Tractate to your Honour, conceiving, that under your lordship's Name these Meditations not only may appear to the world with some access of lustre, but that the influence they may have upon some hereby may prove more available.  
The subject herein handled, is about the choice of that which scarce yet ever entered into your serious thoughts, yet it is wisdom to store up good rules before you need to use them: Mariners learn their skill before they launch into the deeps: All Artists study the Theory before the Practice; Wise men are long in contemplation, before they adventure upon action: It's a known rule, Deliberation must be long, where Determination can be but once; and where there is no admission of second thoughts to reverse a former error, the first thoughts must be careful, that error be prevented.  
In the interim, before the Lord incline your heart to think of any choice that way on earth, be entreated to make your choice in heaven; that the Lord Jesus may be the guide of your youth, & so the God of your age, that God may say of you: I remember the kindness 
Jere. 2. 2.  of thy youth, and the love of thy espousals.  
Surely it can be no disparagement, for the greatest of men to betrothe themselves to the great God, to contract spiritual alliance with innumerable companies of 
Heb. 12. 22, 23.  Angels and Souls made perfect, and to match with him 
Eph. 3. 15.  of whom the whole family of Heaven and Earth is called.  
Satan hath done his utmost to brand the servants of God with ignominy, and to deter men of quality from owning the way called holy. It is not long since some of our Nobility, eminent 
E. M.  for piety, paralleled our age with the sad times of 
Cogunt●●●ss● ma●●● 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 ●sse v●les Sal▪ de Prov.  Salvian, wherein the complaint was, that great men were forced to be more sinful, that they might not be reputed to be less honourable.  
But God hath begun to take away the reproach of his people from off the earth; and doubtless, will make his servants an eternal excellency, when men of carnal policies shall be made an abhorring to all 
s●. 66. 24.  flesh.  
You cannot make any choice higher, nor is it possible you should begin too soon to love him, who hath loved you from all eternity. Love of all affections is most active, and in youth predominant; It's restless till it fix, and if it fix anywhere below Christ, it debaseth itself, and may easily be enthralled, but cannot easily be disengaged: What pity is it those vital streams should run in a channel that goes down to the Chambers of death?  
I hope the Father of mercies is looking towards your Lordship, and saying unto you as once unto his Church, Surely, this is a time of love. 
Ezek. 16. 8.  Your pious mother, whom I may truly call an Elect Lady, is to your Lordship as another Monicha to Saint Augustine; You are the son of many prayers: and as Solomon was to Bathsheba, You are the son, not only of her womb, but of her vows; 
Pro. 31 1.  she hath learned to love 
Filii diligend● sunt in Deo, 〈◊〉 propter Deum.  you in the Lord, and for the Lord: The longings of her soul, are for your spiritual 
Quid Christus nisi Deum in nobis dilexit, non quem habebamus sed ut haberemus, Lomb. l. 3. D. 27.  and eternal good. It is one of her greatest comforts on earth, that she hath such a son to call her mother: But it will be far greater, even the crown of her glory, to see you the adopted son of the eternal Father, and that God hath honoured you, even in your youth, to obtain an Inheritance among them that are sanctified.  
You are left in your father's family, with your hopeful sister, as the only branches of many, which have long since ceased from among men. And when the destroying Angel was smiting all, the Father of mercies looked upon you, and said, Destroy him not, for a blessing 
Isa. 65. 8.  is in him.  
The Lord delight to fill you with all spiritual blessings in heavenly things, and make it every day more and more appear, that God hath reserved you to be blessed, and to be a blessing to your family, to your country, and to the kingdoms. And when your Lordship▪ settles in the world, you may begin with Gomorrah's fixed resolution, I and my house will serve the 
Jos. 24. 15  Lord. And that you may show forth the grace of him that hath called you out of darkness, and the shadow of death, into his marvellous light; that they that observe your Lordship may see, that greatness and goodness, as they are inseparable in God, so they are not incompatible to the sons of men. That so you may rejoice above all greatness, that you have your name written in the lamb's book of life, and you may look beyond death▪ and the grave, and see your greatest portion in eternity; which is the earnest prayer of  
Your lordship's servant, JER: WHITTAKER.   

To the Christian READER.  
THese directions following, which teach how to make a wise and godly choice of a meet yokefellow in marriage, were put into my hands by a near friend of the Author, to consider whether they were fit to be made public, and to give my judgement thereof.  
I was very much taken with the soundness, plainness, cleernes, fullness, & good composure of them, and do judge that they may be of excellent use to put single persons into God's way, the only right way of entering into the honourable estate of marriage, a matter of greatest consequence concerning man's weal or woe in this life, according as it is well or ill done.  
The composer of these choice Rules or Directions, was a most ingenious and holy young man, of good learning & rare parts, he studied before hand, and practised these Rules, which he had gathered out of the Oracles of God; and he had God going along with him: for he gave him a wife according to his desire, with whom he lived but a short time, it pleasing the Lord (in favour to him to take him away from the evil to come.  
The memory of the just 
Prov. 10.  is blessed: Some erect monuments in Marble, that their name may be kept in perpetual remembrance: And it was the manner in some places, that in their mourning for their dead friends, they held forth and showed some of their 
Act. 9 39  most excellent works which they wrought while they lived.  
I think a better monument cannot be raised, nor better means can be used to preserve this man's name, most precious, sweet, and ever living, and most profitable to posterity, then by making this his work public to the Churches of God.  
These are such as will alike serve to direct a single woman in her acceptance, and choice of an husband, & to teach parents how to make choice of husbands and wives for their children, as well as to direct a man to make a good choice of a wife.  
I commend unto all the practice of this our brother for their imitation, that every one study and endeavour to know and to do the works and duties of the places and conditions wherein God hath set them, that they may walk with God, and please him therein.  
Amongst the secondary evidences of being in state of grace, and accepted with God, I know none more clear and certain then this, that a Believer in Christ Jesus do add unto his faith a conscionable care to please God in the well doing the work of his particular calling and relation.  
I cannot think that a man hath any more power of godliness, then as he shall respectively endeavour to manifest it in the particular calling & condition of life wherein God hath placed him, as well as in his general.  
For an upright man, as he will (as David did) keep himself from his iniquity, that is, the 
Psal. 18. 23.  iniquity which through his natural corruption he was most prone unto, & to which through the particular condition of his life, he was most tempted and in greatest danger, so his special care will be to do the duty of his own place, to do that work which God in special hath given him 
Joh. 17. 4.  to do.  
The Apostle, in divers places, after he had delivered the doctrine of faith, he subjoineth the doctrine of good works. First, more generally, as the effects and evidences of a lively faith, and then he descendeth to particular duties of men and women, according to their several ranks and relations, as of Wives to their Husbands, 
Eph. 5. 22.  & Husbands to their Wives, of Children to Parents, and 
Col. 3. 18.  of Parents to their Children, of Servants to their Masters, 
Tit. 2. 17.  and of Masters to their Servants, as the effects and evidences of true sanctity.  
Where a general good conversation is not endeavoured, there faith is not alive, but dead, and if a man think he 
Jam. 2. 17.  hath faith, and hath not works, he deceiveth himself: so if he think he hath works, because he doth many of the works of holiness and righteousness, which his general calling to Christiaanity leadeth him unto, but yet doth not the work, which God particularly hath given him to do, he also deceiveth himself, & he may fear that the holiness and righteousness which he seemed to have, is not sound.  
Whosoever shall be desirous to make use of these Directions, to make a good entrance into marriage, will, I think, be as desirous to know how to live, as becometh Christians when they are married. Wherefore for their help I have added unto the end of these directions, some others touching Husbands and wives, their loving and living together, so as they may please God, and may live comfortably and happily in the married condition.  
Both these directions I commend to all that desire information herein, and also commend you, and these to be blessed to you, by God, the instituter of the ordinance of marriage, to whom be ascribed, as most due is, all honour and glory now and for ever.  
Yours to serve you in the Lord, HENRY SCUDDER, Pastor of Collingburn Ducis in Wilts. July 23. 1644.   

The Godly man's choice.  
EVery end hath its proper way and means appertaining to it. All ways will not equally alike lead to the same end; there is a contrary way that will never bring thee to it. There is a crooked and indirect way, that may perhaps, but with much trouble and labour; but then there is a straight and direct way, and this is that way, which will both with ease and pleasure, bring thee to thy desired end. This is the way which all men grope after, but few can find it.  
Now if to marry, and to marry in the Lord, a wife and a good wife, one with whom thou mayst begin thy days with joy, continue them in quiet, and end them with comfort, if this be the end of thy thoughts, then surely the most direct and straight way to obtain it, will be to seek her of God. Not a few are the inducements to move us to this course.  
1. Because he is best able to guide and direct you to the finding of her; she is a flower that grows not in every garden, an herb that is not in every field, she is not to be found in every house; you may seek long enough ere you find, and finding be deceived, unless God direct you.  
2. She cannot be had from any other but from him, he it is, who is the great Patron, in whose family are all the prudent, wise, virtuous, religious persons that are to be desired; and if thou wouldest have one of these, apply thyself to obtain his favour, so shalt thou find a good wife, Pro. 18. 22. In other families 
Pro. 18. 22.  no doubt thou mayst find a rich wife, a beautiful wife, but a prudent wife is 
Pro. 19 14.  from the Lord, Pro. 19 14.  
3. It is the easiest way to find her. Mercies (though great) yet when they cannot but with great difficulty be obtained, it either disheartens us in the pursuit of them, or else abates the sweetness in the enjoyment of them; but with how much content and delight is the heart filled when it apprehendeth a great mercy, tumbling into his lap? Wouldst thou obtain a good wife, (which of temporal mercies is the greatest) lo, this is the most compendious way: sit thou still, do but seek and wait, and at length thou shalt as it were behold God bringing her in his hand, and offering her to thee: we see Adam slept while God brought Eve unto him, 
Gen. 2. 21  Gen. 2. 21.  
4. Never any found, that did not thus seek; many indeed have wandered & roved over this wide world, seeking in every place, casting their eyes in every corner, through city & Country, Town and Village, but after the most diligent scrutiny, what have they at length found? Peradventure riches. Alas! that's vanishing. It may be, honour, that's a burden; perchance beauty, that's vanity, at the best; or civility, & that is but guilded impiety; yea, should they at length stumble on a good wife, yet if not thus sought, they shall either not long enjoy her, or else not so comfortably, because of many bitter ingredients which God will cast into it, which otherwise might have been a sweet portion.  
5. Otherwise in stead of finding a blessing, thou mayst find a curse; what greater blessing than to enjoy a meet help, one who may rejoice thy heart in this thy pilgrimage, one who may accompany thee, and cheer thee up in the way, when thou art treading many a weary step to the land of rest? But on the contrary, what heavier curse canst thou groan under, to what soarer vexation canst thou be yoked to, then to an unequal yokefellow? It is that which will embitter all thy comforts, bereave thee of all thy delights, rob thee of all thy contentments, yea make thy life wearisome, and death uncomfortable.  
6. Hence it is, that they who otherwise seek, inherit so much anxiety and trouble in their seeking, who in stead of imploring God's aid and assistance, employ their own wits in contriving how to accomplish their desires: and if their ends fail, and their expectations are crossed, how are they disturbed with the thought of it, their spirits being dull and stupid, their minds altogether lost in that which they desire to find, consume and wear out all their comfort and content in the pursuit of that which now they become uncapable to attain: being bereaved of themselves, their comforts, and peradventure their wits all at once: so at length make themselves fitter for Bedlam then the marriage bed; when as on the contrary, those who set themselves to seek her of God, enjoy much pleasure and quiet in seeking, contentment in finding, and comfort in the possessing.  
7. Hereby shalt thou yield unto him due obeisance, acknowledging him to be thy supreme governor, going to him as children to the Parent, for guidance and direction in all their affairs; a thing well-pleasing unto him. But if on the contrary, we will rush into such weighty businesses, and venture ourselves upon things of so great concernment, without acquainting him with it, or seeking to him for it, or imploring his aid and assistance for the accomplishing of it: what is it but to pluck our necks from his yoke, casting off all obedience and subjection to him, as if we had no dependence on him; and therefore would slight all direction from him?  
8. Then lastly how ever it fall out, thou mayst find comfort in it: be she virtuous or vicious; if virtuous, than comfort will flow in, on every side; great comfort will redound to thee, that God was graciously pleased to bend his ear unto thee, and give thee so favourable a pledge of his loving kindness. Every time thou casts thine eye upon her, thou mayest with rejoicing cast up thine eyes to God, and say, Lo, this is the wife that thou hast given me, and bless him in that thou hast so goodly an heritage. If vicious, yet if thou hast the inward testimony of thy conscience, bearing thee witness, that thou didst sincerely commit thy way unto the Lord, and roll thyself upon him for direction in it: Lo here thou mayst assuredly take comfort that all shall be for thy good: he who brought thee to this condition, shall support thee in it; he will either lighten the weight of thy burden, or strengthen the weakness of thy shoulders. But now if this web of trouble hath been of thine own weaving, if by thine own negligence thou hast been much wanting in thy duty to God, and by indirect means hast haled this cross upon thee, and God not cast it on thee, then lay thy hand upon thy mouth, patiently submit, repentance is fitter for thee then comfort.  
Now, who will not but easily be convinced, that no course is like this, for the procurement of a good wife? It were well if our hearts could as easily be brought to subject to the practice of it, as our minds brought to submit to the truth of it.  
But here it may be demanded, how or in what manner must God be sought, and dealt withal, by those who desire this blessing?  
The only way as for this, so for all other mercies, is prayer; a means, under which may well be written, Probatum est: for seldom any who diligently applied themselves to this way, ever failed of their end; therefore let it be your study in the best manner you are able, to direct your supplications to him to this purpose.  
1. That he would give you wisdom and understanding in your choice (for only the wise in choice seal to their joys) that when any one is presented to your view, that your heart might not be taken either with their beauty or riches, or natural endowments, so as to be careless and negligent in seeking and searching after that, which is the main: That grace in her heart may be the only orient pearl that shines so bright in your eyes. Had we indeed nothing but a corporal substance, than beauty, riches, honour, and the like, might be chiefly desired & most sought after, as things most agreeable and delightful unto sense: but we are endowed with a most noble soul, too high born to feed on such husks; all these will afford no more relish, than the white of an egg. Therefore other dainties must be provided, other qualifications must be sought for, which may be more suitable to this noble faculty: And what can that be but grace? that alone is the dainties with which the soul thrives: shall therefore the chiefest of our desires, and the greatest of our endeavours be laid out for that which will nourish the body, but poison the soul; which will feed the slave, but starve the child? God forbid: yet thus many do, and thus shall we do if God withdraw from us his wisdom, and deliver us up to our own folly.  
2. Again, beg of God, that he would never knit thy affections to any whose affections he hath not knit to himself; that thy love might never be sincere to them, whose love is not sincere to God. And because we many times see that there may be a rotten carcase under a fair sepulchre, and deadly poison under a smooth skin, that there may be gall and bitterness in their hearts, whose mouths drop as the honey, and the honey comb: that there may be loathsome hypocrisy under the fair shows of sincerity: And because God alone searcheth the heart, and trieth the reins, we can judge only by outward appearance: therefore desire of him, that he would search and try them; and see if there be any way of iniquity found in them, and discover it to you, that so your affections might not be as some men's eyes, led astray with false fire.  
3. Now if upon discovery it evidently appears, that as yet the truth of grace is not wrought in her heart: then earnestly beg of God, that he would withdraw thy affections, and take away the edge of them: for it is to be questioned, whether thy heart be sincerely gracious, if thy affections can be sincere to them which are graceless. Fling not the reins of thy love upon the neck of thy affections, but beg of God that he who subdueth all things to himself, would subdue thy affections, & bring them into subjection to his will, that they might be like the captain's servant, to go and come at his pleasure.  
4. But now if thou hast so far engaged thyself, that it is neither able nor lawful for thee to withdraw thy affections, and yet canst not evidently perceive that there is truth of grace in her heart, then double thy requests before God, pray, and pray earnestly, that he would bestow on her his distinguishing mercies, that he would implant the seeds of saving grace in her heart, and make them to appear in her life; give not over night or day; give not sleep to thine eyes, nor slumber to thy eye lids, till thou hast obtained this for her; what fellowship hath light with darkness, or Christ with Belial? yea enlarge thy requests unto God, that he would first unite her unto Christ, before he joins her unto thee: that he would first marry her unto his Son, before he marries her unto thee; that he would make her one with him, before he make her one with thee; that he would make you members of one head, before he make you one body; that ye might be both one spirit, before ye are one flesh; that he would first join your hearts, and then join your hands.  
5. Now if by diligent search it doth manifestly appear, that God hath done more then ordinarily for her soul, that there are the impressions of a new creature stamped upon her, and that the pangs of the new birth are over, than the chief, but yet not all thy work is done: thou mayst not presently sit down and conclude, This is a wife for me and I will be an husband for her. No, there is yet a further inquiry to be made: for as thou mayst not make choice of any who is not godly, so neither mayst thou choose of every one that is; she may be good, yet not good for thee, she may be a fit wife, yet not fit for thee. Further therefore enlarge thy requests, that God would provide for thee not only a good wife, but a meet wife, meet in every respect.  
1. In regard of age, a green head will not suit with grey hairs, neither do we usually graft young plants upon old stocks: to see youth joined to age, is a thing no less ridiculous to others, then incongruous in itself; such matches never please any but the parties; yea and them but for a while.  
2. A meetness not only in regard of age, but parentage would be convenient: let birds of a feather flock together, pares cum paribus. The Eagle will not join herself with a Sparrow, neither is it fit for an ass to associate with a Lion, they seldom join without confusion, which is commonly the event of such unequal matches, being begun with the discord of parents, and end for the most part in the dissension of parties.  
3. Seek a meetness in regard of estate in some equal proportion*; though means ought not chiefly to be sought, so neither altogether to be neglected.  
1. Marry not one that hath nought, lest she be set at nought by thee, or by thy friends. Rachel was not so much despised for her barren womb, as many now are for their barren purse.  
2. Again, seek not one whose estate doth far surpass 
Jer. 45. 5.  thine, Jerem. 45. 5.* Indeed if God by his providence cast such an one upon thee, thou mayst embrace it; but it is one thing to seek it, and another thing to have it cast upon thee. But this is the Haven which most men desire, and here lieth the rock on which many men are split. Some are so desirous of riches, that no competent portion will serve their turn, but having many large proffers, yet remain unsatisfied, and so while they covet all, at length perhaps lose all; so that there is danger in seeking, what is there then in finding a wife richly laden? Surely that saying is true: Non videmus idmanticae quod in tergo est, we see not that part of the wallet that is behind, we view the forepart of her wallet laden with wealth, and there we fix our eyes, without either care or desire to look further: But had we wisdom to cast our eyes into that part, which is behind, we should behold it filled with sorrow and trouble in full measure, thrust down, heaped up; yea, if not running over. How many inconveniences attend such marriages, they best know who feel the weight of them, and groan under the burden of them; yet some there are, whi●h reason and daily experience inform us of; as first, thou dost incur the danger of losing all thy right of respect that's due unto thee, who in stead of reverencing thee, will disrespect thee, in stead of making thee her head, will set thee at her feet: and because in riches she weighs most, therefore she will look in authority to sway most: she whose desire should be to thee, now thine must be to her; and because she hath brought thee thy estate, therefore will she take upon her, without controlment, to consume thy estate. And if by words or actions thou any way show thy dislike, thou shalt soon find it, to the loss of thy peace, and the increase of thy daily trouble and vexation: yea, to an higher pitch will this flame arise, if there be not grace to qualify it.  
3. There should be a respect had to her constitution, and disposition; two passionate natures will not well agree: much like the meeting of two millstones, when there is no corn between, it endangers the firing of the whole Mill: little peace and great trouble is the portion of that family where such meet. Neither will two melancholy bodies suit well; when any cross or trouble befalls them, how will they be able to bear one another's burden, or comfort one another, when as melancholy, the nourisher of grief, is as much predominant in the one as in the other?  
By this than it may plainly appear, that it is a business of great importance; wisdom is not more necessary and beneficial, neither is rashness more obnoxious in any thing then in this:* For being once done, it cannot be undone. Why is it, that every corner almost echoes with these or the like complaints? One will say, I would I had never seen thy face; another will say, I never enjoyed merry day since I knew thee; a third, I would I were unmarried again. Some bewailing their condition with tears, others railing with oaths, and a third raging with curses: All which is nothing else but the fruit of an indiscreet and unadvised brain, which leapt before they looked, and so run headlong upon their own ruin.  
But now if by thy diligent prayers God hath been so gracious to thee, as to bring to thy view, and to thy proffer, one endowed with all those qualifications before mentioned, and so every way fit for thee, yet before thou settlest thyself to woo her, woo both thy friends and her friends, labour to obtain their free will and consent unto it; you know the proverb, stolen goods will not prosper, if thou takest her, without her friends consent, she's no better than stolen, for thou violently takest from them, that which they do not willingly give thee: and how canst thou expect a blessing should accompany this thievish match? Again, if thou givest thyself to her, without thy friends consent, thou robbest them of their privilege, and becom'st thine own carver, a thing contrary to the rules of reason, and God's word. Against the rules of reason: for what more reasonable than for a man to dispose of his own, and what more his own then his children? They are the parents right, they brought them into the world, they came out of their own loins, and were bred up at their own breasts; they have suffered much, and done much for them: How many sick sits, and weak faintings were they subject to in their conception? How many terrible pangs and painful dolours did accompany their production? With what diligent care and fervent pains, and frequent cost were they at for their education? How many a wakeful night, and wearisome rest, and tedious thoughts, and doleful tears, and earnest prayers, have they poured out for them? Let not him be worthy the name of a child, who having received thus much from their parents, will not with all possible subjection acknowledge it. And what better testimony of thy acknowledgement canst thou give, then in this, to submit thyself to him, who (under God) hath been the cause of thy being, and so earnestly seeks after thy well-being? It is a part of the parent's duty seasonably and carefully to provide in this kind for their children. Thus did Abraham for his son Isaac, Gen. 24. 2. 3. 
Gen. 24. 2. 3.  And Isaac for his son Jacob, Gen. 28. 12. And Hagar for 
Gen. 28. 12. Gen. 21. 21.  her son Ishmael, Gen. 21. 21. And as the sons, so the daughters were at the parents disposing, therefore saith Caleb, I will give thee Achsah my daughter to wife, Josh. 15. 17. 
Jos. 15. 17. 1 Sam. 18. 27.  And Saul gave David Michol his daughter to wife, 1 Sam. 18. 27. yea Naomi was careful to provide for Ruth, her daughter in law, Ruth 1. 2. 
Ruth. 1. 2.  And is it not then the children's duty to submit to their parents providing? Yea surely: for so did Jacob, Gen. 28. 
Gen. 28. 6, 7.  6, 7. Nay, it is observable, that the parents consent amongst the heathen, is a thing requisite in marriage, Gen. 34. 4. 
Gen. 34 4.  Therefore said Shechem to his father Hamar, Get me this maid to wife, implying that unless his Father would get her, he could not take her. And what do they but heap up woe to themselves, and sorrow and grief upon the grey hairs of their aged parents, who do otherwise? Gen. 26. 34, 35. Therefore seeing 
Gen. 26. 34, 35.  it is the parent's duty to provide, and thine to submit, beg of God that he would direct the hearts of thy parents to pitch upon one who may be every way qualified and meet for thee, as before mentioned, that their hearts may not be so carried away with some particular object, at which they look most, and like best, be it beauty or honour, or friends, or riches, or the like: (for with these many are so taken, that if they see these attend her, be there else never so much unfitness and incongruity, yet they are resolute, none but she shall have their consent,) but that their affections might be taken most with that which deserves it best: and then desire that thy affections may be pliable to his, that he would bring them into a submissive frame; and not like some whose affections having taken an head, run themselves upon this desperate resolution, that what ever become of it, they are resolved, fall back or fall edge, like or dislike, none shall stop them, none shall hinder them; certainly where such unbridled resolutions meet in either, it plainly argues that God was sought of neither; neither of the parent for the child, nor of the child for himself. But surely this is the fruit of prayer, and here is the finger of God, when the thoughts, intentions, and affections of both sweetly and harmoniously meet, and conjoin in one. The building up of this match will be like the building up of the Temple, 1 Kings 6. 7. wherein was heard neither the voice of the Hammer or the axe: so here all things shall come forward so prosperously and so easily, that there shall not need an hammer to drive them, and all obstacles shall be so dissolved, that there shall be no need of an Axe to hew them asunder.  
Now having successively wooed thy parents, then proceed to obtain the good will of the party; but first be sure she be one to whom thy affections can be entirely knit. Let no riches entice thee, nor beauty allure thee, nor friends persuade thee, no nor grace move thee to make any thy wife, where thou dost not find thine affections equally drawing thee to it: for where entire love begins not the match, there jarring discords for the most part will end it. First, be sure that thy affections are on her; and than labour to get her affections unto thee: This mutual love is the foundation on which this marriage structure must be built, and the pillars which must continually support it. Indeed it is the very kernel of the business; he who will attempt it without this, must expect that it cannot stand firm, but will ere long shatter about his ears.  
And as thy care must be to get her good will, so how thou gettest it: for herein many bewray abundance of weakness, and a bundle of folly.  
1. Some will declare their kindred, from what a noble stock they are derived, how nobly descended, what royal blood runs in their veins: Thus they seek by honour to win their wives.  
2. Others will unlock their Treasuries, lay open their riches, spread before them their revenues, declare unto them the length and breadth of their possessions, with large proffers and promises, that the quintessence of them all shall be extracted for their use and service. Thus riches shall be a net to entrap their affections.  
3. Some will acquaint them what large privileges they shall obtain, what liberty they shall enjoy, what ever is in the house, or in the field, or in the purse, shall be at their disposing, that without controlment they shall come and go, walk and ride at their own pleasure. These pretend liberty, but intend to bind them sure to themselves.  
4. Others there be who will spend their time and studies in frequenting the Muses, that so by their aid they may compose some curious Poems, & Anagrams, decked with many quaint expressions, and fawning flatteries, thinking by these to ravish the affections of their silly sweethearts.  
5. Some again will seek to win their affections not with words, but actions, they will heap on them, many rare presents, and present them with many gifts, and give them many tokens, nay how will they strain their purses, and stretch their wits, as it were on the tenters, to contrive what gifts will be most acceptable, and what presents may be the best loadstone to draw their affections?  
6. Others there be, who will ●pply themselves by base flatterings and enticings accompanied with many foolish gestures, fond & unseemly carriages, the fruits of a weak brain, and a light behaviour, as if they had to deal with a simple child, and not a wise maiden.  
7. And if this will not take effect, some there be who will set their hellish thoughts a-work, how to accomplish, so as to have their lustful will upon her, thinking that then all will be sure, as if they had to deal with a prostitute quean, and not a chaste Virgin.  
There are many other ways and methods, which to the wisest are unknown. The way of a young man with a maid, is one of those four hidden things, Prov. 30. 19 
Prov. 30. 19  But it is to be feared, that among the many ways that so many persons tread, there are but few that hit upon the right: Surely I should think this course best: it is most sure and less chargeable, a way wherein abundance of comfort and contentment may be brought in, and not any the least expended or laid out: seeking in another method, many spend abundance of rest and contentment, and at length miss of their aim, but in this way they shall gain abundance of peace and comfort, and seldom or never fail of their end.  
Go to God, and earnestly entreat him, that as he hath afforded thee his assistance hitherto, in guiding and directing thee to pitch thy thoughts only on one who is religiously and virtuously disposed, one who is every way qualified and fitted for thee; and as he hath been gracious unto thee, so as to afford thee the free will and consent of parents, and removed all difficulties and rubs that might lie in the way; that so now there is a smooth and plain passage open for thee to her, and her to thee: desire him, that as he hath begun, that so he would finish the work: that he would guide thee and direct thee to pitch upon such a course, to obtain her affections, as may be most prosperous in itself, and best pleasing to him: Tell him thou knowest, that neither thine own nor her affections, are at each others own, but at his disposing; he is able to turn them and wind them as he pleaseth: therefore i●treat him to knit and unite your affections one towards another in an unsep●rable bond that might never be broken; in a knot so firm, that nothing but death may dissolve it: and not like some, who after their affections have been settled, and the match even almost concluded, I know not whether by their parents, for some trivial business, or money matter; or by the parties themselves for some small jar or prejudice, entertained perhaps only through the aspersion of some, malevolent to their future happiness, they have rashly broke off all, which for the present, though they have swallowed down, yet perhaps never throughly digested, and so it hath bred in them a distempered head, a disquieted mind, and a discontented heart.  
Again, tell him, thou dost not attempt by any indirect ways of thine own, or by any unlawful enterprises of others to insinuate thyself into her affections, or to draw her affections unto thee, but thou leavest it to him: And, as many do, sometimes make choice of some special friend to employ in this business of wooing for them; so thou dost make choice of him, as thy most especial friend, into whose hands thou dost wholly commit thyself, entrusting him with the whole business, desiring him to do all thy works for thee.  
Now if he should seem to put thee off, as not willing to undertake for thee, thou mayst tell him, it is contrary to his practice of old, he was wont to invite his servants and children, that when they had any great business to do, they should come and cast the burden of it on him, Psal. 55. 
Psal. 55. 22.  22. Tell him he is immutable, he is God and changeth not, therefore he cannot shake thee off. Tell him thou dost trust him with it, and press him with his promise wherein he hath said, He will never fail any that put their trust 
Deut. 31. 6. Psal. 9 10.  in him, Deut. 31. 6. Psal. 9 10. and then thou mayst be sure he will not begin with thee. Tell him thou wilt stay his leisure, and wait upon him, knowing that he that believeth, maketh not haste; tell him thou knowest that none can so easily unite your affections as he can; if he do but speak the word, it shall be done; and if he do but once unite them, they are united to the purpose, nothing shall be able to lose them; neither sickness nor poverty, or misery, or persecution, or imprisonment, or what ever it be that may separate their bodies, nothing shall separate their affections; yea further desire him, that he would in such a way, and in such a manner draw your affections together, so as you may see, it is his hand alone that knits them: so shalt thou be encouraged to fasten them on her, as on one which he hath provided for you: yea, let him know, that as there are many prayers put up unto him, so there are many prayers wait upon him; and if he will successively accomplish the desires of his people, he shall most willingly inhabit the praises of his people. Surely, whoever doth apply himself in these ways, he shall find them very prosperous; God doth usually crown them with success, thou shalt find more than an ordinary providence going along with thee, and doing for thee; yea, it may be, beyond thy expectation, thou shalt see and feel such a sweet conjunction of heart and affection, the very contemplation of it will exceedingly please and delight thee.  
When you or your friend for you, do make the motion to her friend or friends, under whose power she is, or if (she being in her own power) it be made to herself, you must then deal truly, do not dare by any means, to circumvent them to gain your desire, either by seeming to be more religious, or better than you indeed are, or by making your condition, or estate, seem better than it is, conceal nothing from them, the knowledge whereof after marriage, may cause grief unto them; or may give them cause to say, that you dealt falsely and deceitfully with them.  
9 When you make & prosecute your suit to her, be serious, free, ingenuous, and discreet, with all kindness, yet do not pretend more love than indeed you bear unto her.  
10. Now if at last God hath answered thy prayers, and fulfilled thy desires, and hath given thee a virtuous wife, hath given thee her friends and thy friends consent, and hath most firmly united your affections in a sweet and inviolable bond of love, so that now the match is struck, and thou enjoyest thy heart's desire; then forget not thy former serious resolutions, and intentions: Didst thou not resolve when thou wast in the multitude of thy thoughts, entangled in thy affections, surprised with fears, and doubtful of thy hopes, that if God would be pleased to quiet thy thoughts, settle thy affections, banish thy fears, and make sure thy hopes, that then thou wouldst with all thankful acknowledgement, return to him the glory of it. Remember therefore what hath gone out of thy mouth; and as he hath turned thy petition into fruition; so do thou turn thy resolution into action, and presently fall a blessing of him.  
1. Bless him that ever he put it into thy heart to fall upon this course of seeking of him; when as others in all their thoughts, and amidst the variety of their ways and contrivances, this is the least, yea, not any of them: To seek God in such a matter as this, they think it a thing as ridiculous, so unprosperous; now that thou shouldst make choice of this way above all others, which by experience thou hast found to be the best and surest, here is cause of blessing.  
2. Again, bless him, that he hath given thee any wisdom in choosing, that he hath restrained thee from hurrying thy affections headlong, as many do, without wit or discretion, upon any which their rude fancy, and roving eye is cast upon, giving the reins to their unbridled affections, to run unadvisedly upon any, where they see no other excellency, but only that which is in wealth, honour, beauty, parts, or the like: as for grace, they desire it not at all; or if they do, only as the over-weight to so many pounds of Gold; yea, some are so besotted, that where none of these are, yet there shall their affections be; how then hast thou cause to bless God, that he hath given thee such spiritual wisdom, wherewithal to overmaster thy affections, so as they are carried out only there, where there are better motives to draw them? as for Beauty, Riches, and the like, these thou desirest only as Adjuncts, as the shell: Grace, that is the substance, that is the kernel, for which thou takest so much pains to get, and being gotten, takest so much delight in enjoying.  
3. Bless him, not only for applying thy mind to seek a virtuous and gracious mate; but that he hath crowned thy seeking with finding, that thou hast found a Rose among the Thistles and a lily among the thorns; that among so many thousands, he hath, as it were, culled out one, whose gracious and godly disposition is every way answerable to thy desire; and whose qualification is every way suitable to thy nature; he hath not dealt so with every one, many have sought, but not found, and few have had their expectations answered in their enjoyments.  
4. Again, bless him not only that thou hast found, but that thou hast found with so much facility and delight; he hath made thy pains easy, and thy labours delightful, thou hast obtained a great blessing with little cost; shouldest thou have obtained her as many have done, with the undergoing of a troubled mind, a disquieted spirit, many tumultuous thoughts, & restless vexations, yet thou couldst not but bless; nay, shouldest thou have been put to it with David, to obtain thy wife with the danger of thy life, by dint of sword, to slay an hundred Philistines, and bring their foreskins for a dowry, 
1 Sam. 18. 25.  1. Sam. 18. 25. or with Othniel, who won his wife with the hazard of his life, by smiting Ki●…athsepher, and taking it, Josuah 15. 17. yet there was cause to 
Jos. 15. 17  bless: but if thou hast been so far from undergoing such difficulties, as that thou hast with no danger, but a great deal of safety, and much felicity obtained her; God having removed for thee even all those lesser impediments, that at any time did but lie in the way as rubs to hinder it; and hath in all thy way made good that promise to thee, Isa. 26. 3. keeping thee in 
Isa. 26. 3.  perfect peace, because thy mind was stayed on him; Oh then what cause hast thou to bless!  
5. Bless him that he did freely give thee the good will and consent of thine and her friends; the procuring of which some have sought with many a sad thought, and turbulent mind, but could not obtain it, and those that have ventured so far, as to match themselves without it, have incurred the loss, not only of their friend's favour, but of their own comfort.  
6. And bless him, if he hath weaned thy affections from any that formerly they were cast on (now seeing God's providence otherwise disposing of her) thou wast hereby wrought, not to a malicious hatred against her, or to a fretting vexation in thyself, as many have been, who having been once crossed in their affections, have for the time to come, resolved irreconcilable hatred against the party, and rashly vowed perpetual virginity to themselves, a thing not in their own power. But herein mayst thou bless, that thou didst willingly submit to God, as to that which was best for thee, still preserving thy affections towards her, so as to pray for, and desire her welfare, rejoice in her prosperity, and mourn with her in adversity. And for thyself didst patiently commit thyself unto the Lord, waiting till he would provide for thee, who hath now answerably satisfied thy desire, and given thee such a blessing as that thou hast not lost by waiting.  
7. And lastly, bless him, that he hath so prospered all your erterprises, that he hath so heard your prayers; as that now he hath given you a full and complete fruition of them, he having now knit your affections one towards another in a most firm and indissoluble union; so that all your former distempered thoughts are now quieted, your affections settled, your fears banished, and your hopes (respecting so great a temporal mercy) enjoyed.  
{non-Roman} {non-Roman} {non-Roman} {non-Roman} {non-Roman}.   

Some other directions for unmarried persons,  
YOU have in the former Discourse seen many Directions how to make a godly choice of one, with whom you would marry. Before I give you like Directions how to live as becometh Christians in that married estate, I shall mind you of some things needful to be known and made use of, before that your marriage be consummate.  
1. Do not please and deceive yourself, with a misapprehension of the married estate, promising to yourself to reap and enjoy that good, and (as many will call it) that happiness, which is not to be found in it.  
2. There is an insufficiency in marriage, as in all other earthly (though lawful and good) things, to give full content, and to satisfy your desires: you must bring content with you unto it, or you shall never find content in it. You must first be so good a scholar in Christ's School, as to have learned in every estate to 
Phil. 4. 11.  be content.  
3. Take heed that heat of love do not make you so blind, that you see not things as they are, nor yet look after, or see any thing but what may concern the satisfying of your present desires.  
4. How many are there, that when they are in love, see nothing but fair, and good, in their Beloved? then they can see no faults, scarce any infirmities, who, after marriage, when their lust is a little over, or unsatisfied, or not finding the content they expected, are too quick-sighted to see and find faults, when there is none, or such only, as wise men should have foreseen, and can easily bear & pass by.  
5. They are also so wholly taken up with expectation of the present delights and content they shall have by marriage, that they do not at all forethink of the many duties, which, when they are married, they must do; nor yet of the cares they must take; nor of the evils they are to suffer.  
7. All these you must think of, and prepare for, before that you marry.  
8. God hath in his Word told you, what you must do when you are married, most of the particulars I shall show you in the ensuing Discourse.  
9 God hath also told you, that when you are married, you shall have troubles in the 
1 Cor. 7. 28.  flesh, such as single persons are freed from; yea, troubles so many ways, and in so many things, that they cannot be numbered; daily experience of married persons proveth it to be most true.  
10. When sin entered into the world, it made the whole 
Rom. 8. 20  Creation subject to vanity; it did empty the creature of that sufficiency which before it had, whereby satisfaction and content might have been found in it for all those purposes for which God had made it. This sin it brought a 
Gen. 3. 16  curse upon the creature; yea, 
Eccl. 1. 14.  upon marriage; so that if any shall be so foolish as to expect nothing but good in it, he shall find nothing but vanity 
Eccl. 2. 3. 11.  and vexation of spirit; as we learn by Salomon's experiment.  
11. I write not this to discourage any, who have a calling to marry; For marriage is an honourable ordinance of God, for excellent ends; as to 
Mal. 2. 15.  be a seminary for the propagation of mankind, a nursery out of which to gather his Church, a means to prevent sin in those who have strong 
1 Cor. 7. 2  desires, and cannot well contain, as also for mutual help and comfort in human society.  
12. Such may be a single man or woman's constitution of body, and condition for their outward estate, that the good and comfort of marriage may countervail and exceed the troubles of it. In such cases it is best to marry; whereas otherwise it would be best to abstain.  
13. The least sin is worse and more to be shunned, than the greatest earthly trouble. Touching marrying, or not marrying, choice is to be made, according as men may best please God in either estate, and be most free from sin, or (as their condition may be in comparison) most free from worldly cares and distractions. 
1 Cor. 7. 32. 35.  In some cases, some few distractions in the unmarried estate, may exceed the many troubles in the married.  
14. Where a wise and good choice is made, there are indeed many benefits and comforts to be found in the married estate; For in many cases Two are better than one, especially, 
Eccles. 4. 9, 10, 11, 12.  when those two are one in their studies and affections, to do one another good. Loving and faithful husbands and wives, will one help another in keeping off, and (if this cannot be) in bearing one another's burdens, and will supply each others wants in very many things, both corporal and spiritual, and will be special helpers of each others joy.  
15. In the married estate may be expected the greatest earthly comforts attainable in this life; yea, much spiritual comfort, if the yoak-fellowes do truly fear God, and are truly religious and loving one to another, so that they apply themselves to be helpful, and to do good, and give all lawful content unto each other, in all the good offices they owe as husband and wife, and as heirs together of the same grace of life.  
16. It shall be your wisdom to be provident and wary how you enter into this estate; and that you foreknow, and do throughly forethink and prepare for ability to do the duties, and to bear the troubles which that estate will necessarily put you upon, as I hinted before.  
17 I would therefore have unmarried persons take heed that they deceive not themselves in expecting more good in the married estate, than it hath in it to afford them, lest (when they are disappointed of what they expected, nay, when contrary to expectation they find much to be done, yea, much evil to be suffered which they neither looked, nor prepared for) their lives be made comfortable; and as to some it doth prove so irksome and intolerable, that they sinfully (and too late) repent of that their marriage which they so inconsiderably did enter into.  
1. When two meet persons have acc●rding to the former directions proceeded, and have gained consent of parents, and consent of each other, so that they are resolved to marry one another: it is good that they be contracted and made sure one to another, by betrothing, before that they be solemnly married.  
2. This hath been the use of God's people in all ages, 
Deut. 20. 7. Deut. 22. 32.  both before and since the coming of our Saviour: His mother, the blessed Virgin 
Mat. 1. 18.  Mary, was betrothed to Joseph.  
3. This act of betrothing of two meet persons allowed to marry, is by mutual plighting their troths, and giving themselves one to another, to enjoy each other, when they shall be solemnly married.  
4. This act doth so assure them one to another, that they cannot (though both should consent) go back and desist from marriage; yet it doth not give them right of marriage society and due benevolence one from another, which is not given until marriage: Mary the mother of 
Mat. 1. 20.  our Saviour, was Joseph her husband's Wife, by virtue of the betrothing, but she continued a Virgin. Joseph had no knowledge of her, because 
Mat. 1. 18. 25.  they were not married.  
5. This betrothing is of great good use; For after that they are betrothed, the minds of those two are settled, all fears and doubts of breaking off, are removed. They may then not only give leave to their affections, but may heighten and enlarge them, one towards another. Now, they may, and aught to consider beforehand of their coming together, and of making provision for it. And this staying some time between the contract and marriage, will show, that it is not lust which makes them run headlong into this estate, as it is with too many, more like brute Beasts then reasonable men; but that they do it advisedly, soberly, and in the fear of God.  

Profitable directions for married Persons.  
SOme of these concern Husband and Wife mutually; some concern each peculiarly.  
1. When God hath joined you in so near a relation, you are first to see God, and to acknowledge him in this your match; It was God who 
Mat. 19 6.  joined you together.  
2. All things come to pass by his providence, which is to be taken notice of; but marriages are made by the special hand of his providence: House and inheritance 
Prov. 19 14.  are of the fathers, but a prudent Wife, and so a good Husband, are of the Lord, yea, every good Husband and Wife is of the Lord.  
3. The seeing and acknowledging of God in your marriage, as it will cause you to be thankful to him; so it will arm you against all the troubles in the flesh which you shall meet with in that estate. It will keep you from repenting of your match, and from wishing, that you had not married this person, and from wishing, that you had married such and such; you cannot now say unto, or twit one another with this; that I might have had such an one, so beautiful, so personable, so rich, so well qualified; no, now you see you could have none other, this is the man, this is the woman, that God hath given me; you must say, I will therefore thankfully and contentedly satisfy myself in this my lot and portion.  
4. Now you are married, consider what you then did, you then entered into a near covenant one with another; yea, into a Covenant with God 
Prov. 7. 2.  to be one another's, and to be faithful to each other. Now 
Gen. 2. 23▪ 24. Mat. 19 5▪ 6.  you are no longer two, but one flesh, not your own, but one another's self: So that if you break covenant one with another, you break covenant also with your God.  
5. You must love each other as your own souls with a Christian, pure, tender, abundant, natural, and matrimonial love.  
* 6. The foundation that must bear up this love, and the spring, which must feed and nourish this love, is not only, or chiefly, the commendable parts and endowments that are in each of you, but the near relation into which you are entered; being now no more two, but one flesh, and bone of each others bone, and that it is now from God, that you are thus made one; and that it is his will and pleasure that it should be so.  
7. When your love is thus ●rounded, it will be constant to each other, as well in one condition as another. You must therefore love her (as before you are taught) because God hath made her your wife; And you must so love him, because God hath made him your husband: Although it may happen, that there is not in your yoke-fellow that personablenes, beauty, wit, virtue, and good qualities that are in many others, yet the own husband and wife, 
1 Cor. 7. 2.  must be the object of your choicest and singular love, and you must esteem of each other so, as to be endeared one to another, above and before any other in the world.  
8. This love must show itself in the fruits of it: and first to the better part; to the souls one of another. True love edifieth not only a 
1 Cor. 8. 1.  man's self, but others also.  
9 You must therefore pray one for another, and one with another, you must further one another in holiness and righteousness. The godly and 
1 Pet. 3. 1.  unblameable conversation of man and wife, doth much conduce to the conversion and building of one another up in their holy faith, being accompanied with instructing, exhorting and comforting, and (as there shall be cause) admonishing in the Lord: It is no usurpation, but love and duty in a wife, as well as in the husband, to perform to each these Christian offices; provided always, that the wife do it with all humble respect to her husband, in due time, place, and manner.  
10. This love must also show itself in all due study 
1 Cor. 7. 33, 34.  and care to please each other in all things wherein you may; giving all lawful content one to another; you to your power and skill, must be helpful one to another: If the wife be made to be an help to 
Gen. 2. 18.  the husband, the husband much more is to be helpful to the wife, because God hath made him to be the stronger, and hath given him more ability to do it.  
Your hearts must be so knit to each other, and so for one another, that you may trust one in the other, doing good, 
Prov. 31. 11, 12.  and not evil: the wife to the husband, and husband to the wife, all the days of your life.  
11. You must also show your love in faithfulness to each other, in keeping your bodies chaste, and only one for 
1 Thes 4. 4 Heb. 13. 4.  another, giving to each due benevolence in a seasonable, temperate 
1 Cor. 7. 3.  and sanctified use of marriage; There are some 
Lev. 18. 19, 24.  times wherein God hath forbid marriage society: Also intemperate and immodest use of marriage, springing from immoderate affections, will not satisfy and quench lustful desires, but increase them rather; and marriage is reckoned amongst those good things of God which are warranted and sanctified 
1 Tim. 4. 4, 5.  by the Word of God and Prayer.  
12. You are to satisfy yourselves in the society and embraces 
Prov. 5. 18, 19, 20.  each of your own husband and wife: adultery is a most heinous sin, and most destructive of the marriage Covenant, you cannot wrong one another in any thing more, nor any way sooner wrong and root out your posterity, 
Job 31. 12.  nor bring a greater or more abominable and everlasting blot and infamy upon 
Prov. 6. 33  your name, then by the embracing of the bosom of a stranger. It will bring destruction 
Prov. 6. 32  upon the soul; for Whoremongers and Adulterers God will judge: If any temptation 
Heb. 13. 4.  or motion to that evil shall present itself, either from within, or from without, repel it, with indignation, saying thus with thyself, in like words to those of chaste Joseph, when he was tempted by his lewd Mistress shall I wrong my yoke fellow; shall I break my covenant that I made with my God? How can 
Gen. 39 9  I commit this great wickedness, and sin against God? Adulterers by the law of Moses 
Lev. 20. 10.  were to be put to death.  
13. As you must not give cause, no, nor occasion of jealousy, so abhor to be causelessly jealous one of another; true & ardent love will think no evil; it believeth all things, 
1 Cor. 13. 7.  it hopeth all things.  
14. You must with all tender care be preservers of each others names and credits, you must be so firm to each other, that you may trust one in another, and lock up yourselves in one another's breasts, keeping each others secrets, never blazing abroad the faults, or frailties of each. True love can, and will cover 
1 Pet. 4. 8.  even a multitude of sins; you must do with them as you will do with the soars of your own bodies, never uncover them, but when a plaster is to be laid to them.  
15. If God give you no children, do not impute the fault to the one or other; It is God that giveth, or withholdeth children: when you have commended this to God by Prayer, you must patiently and contentedly submit to God's will. It was Rachel's great fault, to say to her husband, Give me children, or else 
Gen. 30. 1  I die.  
16. If God do give you child or children, then join in hearty thanks to God, who hath graciously given them unto you; join also in breeding and bringing them up in the 
Pro. 22. 6. Eph. 6. 4.  nurture of the Lord.  
17. You must be helpful one to another, in overseeing, guiding, governing, and well-ordering the ways of your family. Though the husband is specially to have an eye to the men, and the wife to the maids; yet it shall be your wisdom to join as in the choice of the faithfullest 
Ps. 101. 6. Gen. 18. 19 Deut. 6. 7.  you can get, so in teaching and furthering them in goodness, taking all good occasion to instruct them in ways of godliness and righteousness, and to stop and restrain them from wickedness, looking to them that they be diligent and faithful in their places: you must join in looking to the state of your family, for their due employment and maintenance. 
Prov. 27. 23. 26. Pro. 31. 27  And as in governing the children, the father must not take part against the mother; So neither must the master take part with the servants against the dame or Mistress, nor must the mother, or dame, or Mistress, do the like, when the father or master doth reprove or correct, but must join one with another therein. If either father or mother, master or Mistress, do fail in reproof or correction, they are in private to show one another their failings, and not openly before servants or children. If when one reproveth, the other doth cocker and approve, and when one correcteth, the other saveth from correction; this doth weaken the authority of each in the family, and will embolden the children or servants in evil; and both father and mother, master, Mistress, or dame, will be brought into contempt.  
18. Touching your worldly estate, you must be helpful and faithful to each other; you must be diligent in your 
Pro. 10. 4. Pro. 21. 5.  places, and be good husbands and good housewives, thrifty & frugal, labouring with hand 
Eph. 4. 28.  and head, about something that is good, according to your calling, that you may have whereon you and yours may more comfortably live; and wherewithal you may do good, and give to them that need. Let nothing be wastefully and wickedly spent.  
19 And know, there ought to be a community in the use of that temporal estate, which God hath given you; with husband and wife all such things should be common; one house, one purse, one bed, in every thing alike, suitable to their place and means. God hath made the husband to be head, and therefore to have the chief power in disposing and ordering of his worldly estate; yet the wife is not at such a distance, as is the servant, or child, but so near to him, and one with him, that she hath a right, as in his honours and dignities, which he cannot restrain her of, so in all his goods, with which he did endow her at their marriage: She therefore is to enjoy them as well as he for her use, for all good purposes, as there shall be cause, except her manifest folly and wastefulness do cause a restraint.  
20. You may and are to have your times of more than ordinary familiarity one with another, in your amiable converse and delighting one in another, and with such expressions as are meet to be showed between none, but such as are man and wife; as Isaac with his Rebecca. But this 
Gen. 26. 8  is not seemly before others, but when alone; I mean, that palpable courting of each other, and dallying one with another, as is the manner of too many, who therein express much lightness and vanity in their love, and do minister matter of temptation, at least offence to others.  
21. Your love must be so strong, as not to be easily provoked; 
1 Cor. 13. 5. 7.  true love is exceeding patient, it will bear all things, endure all things; nothing must quench your love one to another.  
22. If any difference shall arise, tending to make a breach between you, take heed, that it do not rise to a flame, be sure that you compose it, and stifle it speedily; do not dare either of you to sleep upon any such discontent, for you know not what a night may bring forth, and what alienation of affection, and what strangeness it may breed ere morning. The Sun should not 
Eph. 4. 26.  go down upon the wrath of any, much less should it upon the discontent of man and wife; Each of you should strive, who should begin first to look cheerfully, and amiably, and show kindness one to another, that the breach may be prevented, or if any be, may be made up between yourselves. The wife, she out of duty, the husband, he out of wisdom should begin first, which when it is done by the one, let not the other dare, but lovingly and readily to entertain it. If your love be true, and if it be managed by that wisdom which is from above, as it will be pure, so it will be peaceable, gentle, easy to 
Jam. 3. 17.  be entreated, full of kindness, and good fruits. Consider this seriously, and then you cannot; I am sure, you will not continue long in any variance that shall fall out between you.  
23. If you find pride and folly to be so great in you, that it keep you at too great a distance, through dislike or distaste one with another, the best way to remedy all, is to call upon one another to go together into God's presence, and there join together in hearty prayer to him, confessing your faults unto him, entreating pardon, and that he will unite your hearts again, that you may love and live together in all well-pleasing to God, and to the joy and comfort one of another. Many who in the pride of their heart, will in their hair stout it out one against another, yet (if they have any grace) they will calm their spirits, and come to a right mind again, when they humble themselves in the sight of God.   

I come now to the particular duties of husband and wife.  
1. YOU that are an husband may, nay, must wisely, but with love, keep your place, and use your authority which God hath set you in.  
2. By keeping it, I do not mean; that you should take upon you to be stern, fierce, and domineering in your carriage towards her, tigerlike, as too many do, but that you carry yourself like a wise head, winning honour and respect from her, doing her all right, giving her all her due. In your government you must not be light, nor foolish, for so you will lose your authority, and bring yourself into contempt. Though she be a wise and good wife, and you think fit to pass over much of your authority unto her, yet hold your authority in your own power; let her use your authority for you, joining with you in ordering and managing the affairs of your estate and family, yet never suffer her (if she attempt it) to usurp authority 
1 Tim. 2. 12. 1 Pet. 3. 7.  over you, but dwell with her as a man of knowledge and wisdom, which ought to be in every one whom God hath made to be the head of his wife; yet know, though you are not to suffer your wife to rule you, it shall yet be your wisdom, not to contemn her counsel and 
2 King. 4. 9, 10. 22. 24.  advice, nor to deny her any reasonable request.  
3. In the use of your authority, remember always, that she is thy companion, and the 
Mal. 2▪ 14.  wife of thy Covenant: and consider how near God hath made your wife unto you, even flesh of your flesh; but she is the weaker, and more tender part of you, and therefore you are to honour her as the 
1 Pet. 3. 7.  weaker vessel; in tender care of her, pitying, covering, bearing with, and healing her imperfections and infirmities; you must not put her upon any thing, but according to her strength & abilities; you must support her weakness by your strength, and supply her defects by your wisdom: The weakness she hath by reason of her sex, she yet being so near unto you, and necessary for you, and may be helpful to you, must endear you to her, and cause you to be exceeding tender in your care of her. God hath made you to be the guide of her youth, 
Pro. 2. 17.  yea, of all her days; and he hath given you to have authority to command & reprove as there shall be cause, and to order her in her place, and hath left it to you to provide for her good every way. All this you must do out of conscience of duty to God, and in love to her.  
4. That you may do this the better, you must go before her in all holy example, in godliness and righteousness; you must store yourself with knowledge of the Will and ways of God, wherefore study the Scriptures, hear the Word much, and treasure it up: The wife might not speak in the Church, 
1 Cor. 14. 35.  her husband at home is to teach her, she is appointed to learn of him there.  
5. You must pray not only for her, but with her, and that not only in the family, but with her alone: some confessions and petitions will be needful for you to make together, which cannot fitly be put up in hearing of others: you are therefore, saith God, to dwell with her as a man of knowledge; that your prayers be 
1 Pet. 3. 5.  not hindered; you are heirs of the same blessing, therefore you are to help her in all good ways whereby she may have knowledge and grace, that she may partake of that inheritance.  
6. You must use your authority with wisdom, mildness, and love; your commands must be lawful, not only in themselves, but such as she doth not make scruple of their lawfulness; you must command in the Lord, else she is exempt from obedience.  
7. Your commands must be of things not too difficult, but in her power to do them.  
8. You must not require of her things unreasonable, and such as are not fit for her, but rather for others in the family for to do.  
9 Use not commands for trifles and small matters.  
10. Be very seldom in laying any command upon your wife; An intimation of what you would have done is enough between an husband and a wife: entreaties of a wife do not unbecome a husband, though she be his inferior, and usually they do more prevail then flat commands.  
11. Frequency and imperiousness in commands of one so near in equality, will make your authority burden some, and grievous unto her, and will much abate in her (do what she can) of that honour and reverence which she should and would give unto you.  
12. You may, and aught to dislike and reprove your wife when she is blame-worthy, but you must do this also in much love and wisdom.  
13. Be sure that there be a fault, and a great fault in her, else reprove not; dat failings may be healed and amended, either of themselves, or by a bare remembering her of them; many failings you are not to take notice of, and are to bear with in her, as she must do the like with you.  
14. When she is very faulty, the reproof must be proportioned to the quality and greatness of the fault, but must be done with the spirit 
Gal. 6. 1.  of meekness. Rough language, and overmuch heat in reproving (though the cause be never so just) will be like a good potion administered scalding hot, this will not be forced down, she can hardly take it so hot, but will belch it up in the face of him that giveth it, and the virtue of it, is utterly lost.  
15. Due time and place must be observed when you reprove and admonish your wife; you must not do it, when either yourself, or your wife is in a pelting chafe, or passion, for than you are not fit to give, nor she fit to receive reproof. A mad man is not in case to reprove, nor a mad woman in case to be reproved; while men and women are in passion they are not themselves.  
16. As for the place, (except in extraordinary cases, when the fault is notorious and open, or may presently corrupt others, if it be not then and there reproved) ordinarily it is best to be done when you are private and alone, she may then see, that it is done in love to her, and for her good, which will cause it to be well taken, and will work more kindly with her.  
17. Your whole government of your wife must be in all sweetness and kindness; you must not rule a child, no, not a servant with rigour; you must much more abhor all 
Lev. 25. 43. Col. 3. 19  bitterness to a wife, you must always remember, that she is yourself, and you know who saith, No man ever yet 
Ephes. 5. 29.  hated his own flesh.  
18. I would not have it to be a question whether an husband may beat his wife, and correct her with stripes, as he doth his servant, or child, though she do offend him; He may for some of her faults (if she persist in them) withdraw from her some of his former expressions of kindness and fruits of his bounty, and may abridge her of some of her former delights which formerly he did allow her: But to beat her, that is himself, we have no rule nor example in the Word of God for it. He is worse, and more unnatural than a brute beast, that will fight with his own mate.  
19 If the wife be intolerable, and will not be governed by the husband's commands and reproof, if she remain unsufferable, he must crave help of the public Magistrate, that by him she may be reclaimed.  
20. You must likewise show love and wisdom in the matter of your wife's employments: A wife must not live idly (as neither must you,) neither must she be made a drudge, and be overslipped with too too much; Let her employment be suitable to her place, and to her condition, skill, strength, and ability; she is to be assistant to you in matters of your calling, if thereof she be capable: also she is to assist you in guiding and governing the family.  
21. You must also provide for your wife, and allow her things needful, and protect her from things hurtful, according to your place, and as you are able, you must allow her plentiful and comfortamaintenance, as food, apparel, &c. even the very same for kind and proportion suitable with that which you provide for yourself, for she is yourself, that she may live like your wife, cheerfully with you.  
22. And as you may dislike and reprove your wife, when she doth ill; so, much rather, are you to take notice of, and give her due praise and encouragement when she doth well; Give her of the 
Prov. 31. 31.  fruits of her hands, saith the Lord by Solomon: he hath little (if any) grace, ingenuity, or love to his wife, which will not do it.  
23. If God take you out of this life before your wife, (if good provision be not already certainly made for her) than you before your death, are by your last Will and Testament, to take care for her comfortable maintenance after your death: in which I would not have you to do, as too many fond and foolish husbands do, give all, or most part of your estate to your wife, you having children; leaving them to her disposing. This doth but expose her to temptations. By experience you may see that many enter into such second marriages, as prove to be a great wrong, if not an utter undoing of the children of her former husband.  
24. But do not, as too many also do, neglect their wives, and give all, or most part of their estate to their children, leaving his wife their mother, to need to be maintained by them; how unnatural many children prove to their mothers, when all their father's means is in their hands, is seen too oft, in woeful experience: consider well your estate, and accordingly give her so much, that her children may have more need of her, than she of them; that she may of herself, without them, live comfortably, and they may expect to be beholden to her, rather than that she should need to be beholden to them; and this will better contain them in duty to her when you have left her in an estate able to do them good, if they continue loving and dutiful to her.   

There is also duty peculiar to the wife to be performed to the husband.  
1. FIrst, you that are a wife must see in your husband (whom God hath given to you, and set over you) a stamp of God's Image and authority, whereby he is become above you, and is made your head, and you are made his inferior, 
Ephes. 5. 23.  and are made subject to him; whatsoever his birth, parts, or wealth was, or is, or whatsoever yours is, or was, you must now look upon him as bearing some of the Image and glory of God's power and authority; which God hath invested him withal: for your good, he is now thy lord, he is now thy better, he is one who must be highly esteemed: of thee, one, to 
Gen. 3. 16.  whom your desire must be subject, one, who hath rule over you.  
2. You must show your love to him, and due esteem of him▪ and due reverence of 
Ephes. 5. 33.  his person; you must see that you reverence your husband, saith the Apostle; you must reverence him in your heart. It was Michael's great and 
2 Sam. 6. 16.  shameful sin, that she despised her husband David in her heart.  
3. Show reverence to your husband in word, and gesture, in word and deed; when you speak either before him, or of him, or to him, you must show in all these, that you have an honourable esteem of him; For this, Sarah (whose 
1 Pet. 3. 6.  daughter you are if you do well) is commended by the holy Ghost. There is time and place for very familiar speech to the husband, but never for a slight, neglective, contemptuous or rude speech or behaviour to him; you must always reverence him.  
4. You must also show your love, in being subject and obedient to him.  
5. This obedience must be a ready, hearty, and an universal obedience to all his reasonable & lawful commands, or significations of his will. God saith, Let wives be subject 
Eph. 5. 24.  to their own husbands in every thing. This general, in every thing, admits only this limitation, that it be in the Lord. If your husband commandeth what God forbiddeth, or he would restrain you in that wherein Christ hath made you free; in this case you are to obey GOD rather than man.  
If you enter into marriage according to the directions formerly given by that holy young man, (now with the Lord) which he took out of the word of God, and shall live in a married estate according to these present directions taken from the same holy Scriptures, you shall live comfortably one with another, and shall be a blessing each to other, and shall add much to one another's happiness here in this life.  
I will shut up all in a few words of caution and advise unto both husbands and wives.  
Consider, that although this estate (if you be not wanting to yourselves) be full of comfort, benefit, and matter of delight and content; yet it will be but for a time, it may be but for a very short time that you shall live 
1 Cor. 7. 29  together. This will cause you to redeem the time, with thankfulness to God, enjoy each other, and do good to each other, as well as in receiving good one from another, while you may, lest else it prove to the surviving party, great grief of heart, that he or she did let slip that good opportunity which God had given them.  
Moreover, you must consider, that there is another choice to be made, which (if you be the same you profess yourselves to be) you have already made, which is better, and everlasting, namely, you have handfasted and betrothed 
2 Cor. 11. 2.  yourselves to Jesus Christ. This concerneth that one thing 
Luke 10. 42.  needful; which when you have obtained, it shall never be taken from you, without whom all earthly blessings in the end will prove curses: your whole heart must be taken up about this, and wholly placed here.  
What is said of riches when they increase, that may be said of the good of marriage, Set 
Ps. 62. 10.  not your heart thereon, as upon that wherein you should place your happiness, or set up your rest.  
Christ Jesus, and his kingdom are first to be sought, 
Mat. 6. 33. Ps 45. 11.  he must be your chief love and desire; you must obey him in all things absolutely; you must wholly live to him at all times, and must delight and satisfy yourself always in his love; your love and delight in one another, must be in a subordination to your love to him, and as it will stand with your love and obedience to him.  
The Apostle adviseth you that are married, to be as if 
1 Cor. 7. 29  you married not, you that have husbands, as if you had none; and you that have wives, as if you had none. It is not meant that when you are married, you may separate at pleasure, and live one from another, as too many do, nor yet to neglect one another, though you live together; But your lives must not be so bound up one in another, but that you can part one with another. And you must use this estate as you do all other earthly good things, with such moderation of affection, and indifferency of judgement, that by no means it take you off from your love to God, and Christ, and from cleaving to him; and that you can without murmuring, or inordinate grief part therewith, when you see that it is the will of God you shall enjoy them no longer.  
Be you sure therefore, that you use this estate as you are to use all other good things of the world, as not abusing it. For the Apostle saith, the time is short in which ye shall 
1 Cor. 7. 30. 31.  live together, and the world and the fashion of it passeth away.  
Therefore in whatsoever state you are in, and whatsoever you do, let your eye be principally upon, and towards your best beloved Christ Jesus, to be always loving and faithful to him; waiting for 
● Thes. 3. 5. Mat. 25. 1. 4. 7. 10.  the coming of this your bridegroom, when your spiritual marriage shall be consummate: At whose coming, at, and after the Resurrection, 
Luk. 20. 35, 36.  there is neither marrying, nor giving in marriage, but you shall be like the holy Angels in 
1 Thes 4. 17.  heaven; and shall ever be with him the Lord, the blessed husband of his Spouse the Church, partaking of all his beauty, riches, and glory. For when he shall appear, in whose presence are fullness of 
Psal. ●6.  joy, and pleasures for evermore; we shall be like him, for we shall 
1 Joh. 3. 2. Phil. 3. 21.  see him as he is, and our vile bodies shall be made like his glorious body, according to the working whereby he is able to subdue all things to himself.  
Now to this King eternal, Invisible, only wise God, and our blessed Saviour, be all honour and glory, for ever and ever, Amen. To whose grace and blessing, I do heartily commend you, with the whole Israel of God.    

An Abstract of former Directions, whereby you may take a short view of all; and it may serve as a Table to show where each particular in the Discourses is spoken of more fully.  

A Good wife is to be sought of God. page. 2.  
He can, and will best direct you to find. ibid.  
She cannot be had from any other. p. 3.  
It is the easiest way to find her. ibid.  
Never any can be said to have found, who hath not thus sought. p. 4, 5.  
Otherwise in stead of finding a blessing, thou Mayst find a curse. p. 6.  
They who seek otherwise, do usually find much trouble. p. 7.  
They who rightly seek a good wife of God, enjoy much pleasure in seeking, contentment in finding, and comfort in posiessing. p. 8.  
Thus seeking is well pleasing to God; and is an argument of acknowledgement of his sovereignty, and of your subjection unto, and dependence upon him. p. 7, 8.  
If you seek her of God, then, how ever it fall out, you may have comfort in this, that you have done your duty in respect of God, whether she prove virtuous or vicious. p. 9, 10, 11.   

How God is to be sought.  
This is by Prayer. p. 12.  
That he will give you wisdom to make a good choice, that grace in her may be your chief aim. pag. 12, 13.  
Beg of God that your affections may not be knit to any, whose affections he hath not first knit to himself, p. 14, 15.  
Otherwise, that God would withdraw your affections. p. 16.  
If you be engaged so far, that you cannot well go back, then double your desires, that God will give her grace, and that he will first unite her to Christ, before he join her unto thee. p. 17, 18.  
Desire of God that she may be not only endued with grace, but that she be a wife every way meet and sit for thee. p. 19  
Fitness for age, parentage, estate, constitution and disposition of natures are with wisdom to be considered. p. 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25.   

The former concurring: then  
First, acquaint your friends, in whose power you are, and get their consent. p. 26.  
Also before you do woo her, you must get her friend's consent. p. 26, 27.  
Reasons why you must have consent of your own and of her friends. p. 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33.   

Parents, or Guardians being consulted with, and consenting.  
Foresee this, before thou do woo her, that thou canst entirely affect her. pag. 33, 34.  
Mutual love must be the foundation on which the marriage structure must be built. p. 34.  
In getting her good will, care must be had how, and that it be wisely and rightly done. 34. 35.  
Not so much in setting forth to her thy parentage. p. 35.  
Nor thy wealth. ibid.  
Nor the liberty and privileges she shall enjoy, if she will have thee. p. 35, 36.  
Nor with flatteries. ibid.  
Nor by seeking to blind, and inveigle her by presents and gifts. p. 37.  
Nor at all with foolish, unbeseeming, wanton gestures and behaviour. ibid.  
Much less by any solicitations to have your lustful will of her to make her sure, as too many do; which is abominable. 37, 38.  
The right way of wooing. 38, 39  
Pray to God to direct thee in such a course, as may best gain her affections, and may be most prosperous in itself, and best pleasing to him. p. 39  
A Directory for such prayer, p. 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45.  
When you or some friend make the motion to her, whom thou wouldst make thy wife, or to her friends, deal fairly and truly, do not make a show, either of thy Religion, or thy outward estate, more than indeed it is. p. 46.  
In prosecution of your suit, be serious, and ingenuous, and loving, but never pretend more love than indeed you do bear unto her. p. 46, 47.   

After God hath answered your desires,  
You must make a thankful acknowledgement thereof unto God. p. 47, 48.  
A Directory for this blessing, and giving glory unto God. p. 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55.   

Other useful Considerations of single persons before marriage.  
Expect not to enjoy that good in the married estate which it cannot give unto thee. p. 58. 65.  
There is an insufficiency in marriage to give thee full content, and of itself to satisfy thy desires. p. 58.  
Let not heat of love make thee blind, so that thou canst not see things as they are in thy Beloved. p. 58, 59  
Duties to be done, cares to be taken, and evils to be born in the married estate, must be forethought of, prepared for, as well as the joys and the good of marriage. p. 60, 65.  
Whensoever you marry, you shall have troubles in the flesh p. 60, 61.  
If you look for that happiness in marriage which God never intended it should give you, you shall in stead thereof find nothing but vanity and vexation of spirit. p. 61.  
Yet none are hereby to be deterred from marrying, who have a calling to marry. p. 61.  
Marriage is of excellent and necessary use. p. 61, 62, 63.  
Such may be the condition of an unmarried person, that the good and comfort of marriage may countervail and exceed the troubles of it. p. 62.  
The least sin is worse than the greatest earthly trouble. p. 62.  
In the married estate may be expected very great earthly comforts. p. 64.  
Much evil doth follow the expectation of that good in marriage which it cannot give. p. 65, 66.   

After consent is gained in the way prescribed,  
It is very expedient that you be betrothed to eath other, before that you be solemnly married. p. 66, 67.  
Betrothing will make you sure one to another, but not give a right to marriage society. p. 67.  
Betrothing before marriage is of excellent use. pag. 68   

Directious for married persons: Some Duties are common to both.  
Being married together, see and acknowledge it (being made as before hath been prescribed) to be of God. p. 69, 70.  
This acknowledging of God will be of great good use to you both. p. 70.  
Consider well what a strict bond and covenant you entered into, even into a covenant with God. p. 71.  
You are mutually to love each other abundantly. p. 72.  
The nearness of relation into which by marriage you are entered, it being the express will of your God, that you should thus love one another, must be the spring and foundation of your love. pag. 72, 73.  
This love must show itself in care of each others souls; you must pray one for another, and in your places edify one another. 74  
You must study to please each other in what you may; and be helpful to each other. p. 75.  
You must be faithful, and keep yourselves chaste, and not defraud each other of due benevolence. p. 76, 77, 78.  
You must not be jealous of each other. p. 78.  
You must be preservers of each others names and credit. 78, 79.  
If God give no children, you both must submit quietly to his will. p. 79.  
If God give you children, you must join in bringing them up in the nurture of the Lord. p. 79, 80.  
You must be helpful to each other in governing and ordering the ways of your family. p. 80, 81.  
Touching your estates you must join in all lawful ways of maintaining it with diligence in your calling, being thrifty and frugal. p. 82.  
There ought to be a community betwixt you in the use of your temporal estate. p. 83.  
Expressions of special familiarities betwixt you are best showed when you are alone. p. 84.  
Your love must be so strong that nothing can quench it. p. 85.  
You must not suffer any difference to make a breach or falling out betwixt you. p. 85.  
If any such shall be, be sure that you do not sleep upon a discontent between you. p. 85.  
The husband out of wisdom, the wife out of duty, should begin to show kindness, and to make up the breach. p. 86.  
When either of you begin, the other must readily embrace it. p. 86.  
To join in prayer to God is an excellent means of reconciling man and wife, if any breach have been betwixt them. p. 87.   

The peculiar Duties of the Husband.  
You are wisely to keep that authority over her which God hath given you. p. 88 90.  
You are to dwell with her as a man of knowledge. p. 90.  
You must esteem her, and use her as your companion, and second self. p. 90.  
You are to tender her as the weaker vessel. pag. 90, 91.  
You are to teach her the ways of godliness. p. 92.  
You must daily pray with her. p. 92. 93.  
You must use your authority with mildness. p. 93, 95.  
You must command her only things lawful; not things unreasonable, nor trifles. p. 94.  
Lay commands on her but seldom, a bare signification of your will to her should be enough. p. 94, 95.  
Never reprove her but for a great and manifest fault, and that with the spirit of meekness and love. p. 95, 96.  
Due time and place must be observed when you reprove her. p. 96, 97.  
You must nnver be so unmanly and unnatural, as to correct her with blows. pag. 98, 99  
If she will not be governed, then help of the Magistrate is to be desired. p. 99  
You must show wisdom in her employments, p 99, 100  
You are to give your wife all good encouragement when she doth well, being more ready to approve her well-doing, then to reprove her for evil. p. 101.  
The wife must be well provided for before your decease, that she surviving, may live more comfortably. p. 101, 102.  
You must not give all, or too much to her, with the neglect of your children. p. 102.  
Nor yet may you give all, or most to your children, neglecting your wife. p. 102, 103.   

Peculiar Duties of the Wife.  
You must see in your Husband, and acknowledge the stamp of God's authority upon him; God having made him to be your head and ruler. p. 104.  
You most in abundance of love show true reverence to him in word and deed. p. 105.  
You must obey him in the Lord in all things. p. 106.  
Some Cautions, and other general Directions to Husbands and wives for the close of all; that the married estate to them may be more contentful and comfortable. p. 107, &c.    

Errata.  
FOr comfortable, p. 66. l. 1. r. uncomfortable: for enjoy, p. 108. l. 14. r. enjoying: for do, p. 108. l. 15. r. doing.  
FINIS.