A Short REPLY TO M. L'Estrange's short Answer TO A Litter of Libels In a Letter to a FRIEND.  Impar Congressu. 
LONDON, Printed in the Year 1680.   

SIR,  
FInding the other day in wet sheets, a Pamphlet owned by Mr. L'Estrange, called a short answer to a whole Litter of Libels; my wont Curiosity provoked me to read the discourse, in which I found him so far transported with Passion as to let great undecencies fall from his Pen, and upon perusal I found that which put him into such raving fits, to be chief a Dialogue between Tom Piper and Capt. Crack-brains, An answer to Cit, and Bumpkin, which now at last it seems he owns, though for some weighty reasons I suppose he was pleased not to set his name to it at the first publishing: for the rest though of ill and Treasonable consequence to the government, are only named like a Catalogue of Books, and passed by without any notice, but only treasured up by him against the day of wrath, which he hopes will entitle him to the Office of Clapshouldering the Authors and Publishers hereafter: a special employ for his Grandeur; but it seems they did not then disturb the Gentleman, which occasioned that Sedateness towards them. Really Sir, it is a great oversight, that the State doth not take notice of men of such parts, as to give them employs to take their time up in nobler affairs than perpetual scribbling: For though they do well in their kind, yet at last they write themselves out, as I could give many instances.  
(But now I am informed there is a place of a late invention, which may be a pretty diversion for a Melancholy man, viz. Corn-cutter to the Bagnia, I would some body had it, that the world might be quieter.) But it seems, the Gentleman's Conscience lies that way; for he hath thrust himself upon answering Seditious Libels, when the cause hath been in a manner yielded up for want of advocates, not (as he hopes to be saved) (p. 15.) for he must have something like an Oath in his Papers) out of passion, and bitterness against any sort of people; but out of an impulse of Conscience, and a sense of duty, and all this you have his veracity for; he might have said O fortunatam natam me consul Romam, what a lucky time have we fallen into, to have innocence and virtue, preserved by such a Daniel, from the Tyranny and lust of the wicked Elders! Now for a Gentleman to expose himself to daggers, and the rage of the wicked fanatics upon an officious account only, is a thing almost without parallel; he might though have remembered, that there were a great many abler Pens than his silent in the thing, of unquestionable principles too, which would not have been so, had the Government thought fit those Libels fit for any other answer than a whipping Post, which may be supposed it did not, because none commanded to undertake that province; but you never knew a Knight Errand stay for a Commission, when the Damsel was in distress: this officious zeal of his may entitle him to a new name, for he may be called zeal of the land busy, upon a juster account than his ingenious Worship gives the name of doggerel to the Author of the answer of Cit and Bumpkin, which hath so much nettled him; yet for respect or shortness sake we'll Squire him as often as there is occasion to mention him, and so by that name I'll take notice of him as occasion serves. Now to the point designed, in answer to his Billingsgate paper, which is not at all to the purpose aimed at, for he answers by bits and patches, here a piece run down cause not ingeniously cited: he makes his marrying a young Lady, urged as an argument of his running the Plot into ridicule, and blessening the King's Evidence (a thing he can never get off on, for all his jesting) but the Squire might remember, that that passage is only brought in as a reprimam amongst others upon him, for his damned Libel in Skeldry, (p. 3.) which he endeavours so much to defend: The story of his being rebuked by the angry man of War, is only of the same nature, and not urged for any thing, but for a repartee, as a man may call it, upon that infamous Libel, as will appear to any peruser of the answer pretended to be answered: now he comes to his skeldry. There is one of them, says he, says, that the print called Popery in Maskerade, is not so much a dumb narrative of what's past, as a Scheme of what by intimation is at present designed; would not a man think now, that the charge upon him of lessening the King's Evidence, and so foolishly circumstanced by his marrying a young Wife, and this, not to be Sibb to one another, as being from several Authors, when as they both arise upon the same account; but his Methods are such, as may entitle him to any thing our ingenuity: For is it any thing like that to utter so many Sophisms, or half truths in one page? But his readers being generally women, and consulting but one side, are very imposeable upon; in Book cases, as all unthinking people are. Let's now examine how the Squire clears himself of the charge, that it is a Scheme of or 〈…〉 pretends is designed, and not at all Historical. He would fain wipe this matter off, because of some ill Consequences may happen in the case, and therefore does his endeavours to reduce matters to a 1641. Head, which if he fail in, he yields himself to be a Libeler, because he joins issue whether History or Projection, to prove it Historical; he says, a man in common justice ought rather to a bow it to be so for Isaac's sake than deny it for Muggletons; but this be in go but a Flower of Rhetoric, he passes off quickly land comes to his main argument that it is Historical, which he calls a manifest one, from a parcel of Verses, which indeed does relate wholly to times passed not worth mentioning, but what then: Though part be so, part is other ways, for whoever heard in that age of Dick and Tom the answerers to his Cit. and Bumpkin? A thing of Yesterday, and alleged by Doggerel as the Squire calls the Author, and of T. the P. and C. C. B. to prove it a malicious intimation of a project, out of his singular good nature, now in designment; and though the presence of Dick and Tom, as Seditious Libelers, be brought in as the main argument against the Historicalness, yet the Squire passes that by without the least notice; but to defend his Scandalous way of abusing all the late Petitioners, as well as one Act Parliament, he reduces all things to the Cabal of 1640. and 1641. as if Dick and Tom had any thing to do there, and then with a Scoff goes on to Dr. Oates' Testimony, of the Jesuits influencing and leading the Councils of the Schismatics, as if he had any reverence for the Gentleman; but the Doctor ought to forgive him, for upon occasion he will use holy writ itself at the same rate. Then the Squire falls foul upon Doggerel charging him with a Moonness, by way of question, when Doggerel was so kind to him, Pag. 5. to help him to medicine for his Frenzy, which is a very unkind return by the Squire for that singular courtesy: now let's examine whether the Moonness be more due to Doggerel or the Squire. To draw an argument says the Squire for or against the Parliaments sitting in 1680. from the villainous practices of 1641. is Moonish enough, as likewise it is that a Book should be a History of 40 years a go, from the names of some chief concerned in the History born last week. Troth the Squire must to clean Straw shortly at this rate.  
P. 6. To defend his bespattering the Loyal Gentry and Citizens with the names of Cit and Bumpkin, he has recourse to the Devil's way of further blackening: he tells you of a company of Damned practices, which you have his own authority for, to get hands to the Petition, and it may be supposed if he could make any thing of that nature out, of his singular good will to the public he would not have failed of it, especially when Doggerel had charged that upon him formerly, but Truantly Schoolboys use to adjust one lie by another; so I see no reason for my belief of any such thing, but think the Squire to be a man of happy invention that way.  
P. 7. Then the Squire goes on to defend the charge of lessening Doctor Oates' Narrative of the Plot, by his old way of Scoffing off those matters.  
From this, and many others I find that though this Doggerel Rascal be inconsiderable, yet the Squire thinks fit to make his defence against him, and sometimes but meeterly, as when Doggerel insinuates a charge of Gaming upon him; he owns it and sneakingly says he hath not played at Cards this Twelve month. Such like defence a wise Lord of this Nation made for his Miss; The story lies thus: A Lord and the Lady his Miss being stopped in their Coach by some troublesome Carts, cried out it is my Lord of— I care not, says a rude Rascal, for my Lord— nor his Whores neither. What she hath been, says the Lord, I'll not say, but I assure you she is honest now. Thus the Squire goes to clear his mutinying against the government when out of employ, to clear that charge he says he was more a Prophet than a libeler as he says, and refers the reader to the Pamphlet, as if any body would give themselves that trouble about him, who might if he had thought fit to have inserted that clearing passage, and would not doubt had it been true. Then he goes to defend the honour of his late place, viz. of Licensing Books, as if any body had defamed it, though he is forced to shuffle for a defence in the execution of it, for being charged by Doggerel for Licensing humane reason, he grants it, but under such circumstances as will make any man excusable before the greatest Justicer in the world; for he says, he did it unread, which upon perusal he would not have done. But indeed it was overlookt by somebody before. Now good Mr. Squire the difference? Your worship to Licence without looking over, your fees only, as may be supposed, respected, and people to print at adventure? for no book of more pernicious consequence, has come out during that administration. But Mr. L' Estrange is an honest fellow as the world goes now, as he says himself (p. ult.) so no more grumbling in this case; but he says there fell no fire nor brimstone upon it, and Whit●hal stood where it did. I know Doggrels mind in that point, he swears it would be just so if some body was hanged.  
Now after the Squire hath given as many scurrilous expressions as would turn a queasy stomach about his Cit. and Bumkin, he tells you to justify his railing against Doggerel as well as truth, that several models of petitions exposed in print, insisted upon the Parliaments sitting as long as they pleased, he might have done well to have produced one; For no body can think he can conceal any thing of that nature, until than we must believe all to be a staff of his own.  
P. 9 But now Doggerel look to thyself; for the Squire comes furiously upon thee: but I believe it will be his care, as it was with a foolish Parson, who was railing without sense or manners on the Pope, I'll lay a Groat on the Pope side says a stranger, and put an end to the rapture: Now he charges Doggerel to be mad for crying Rascally Politic, rascally Pickthank, sycophantly knave, etc. Now the occasion is thus, for the Squire scorns to do any man in that case right. Tom the Piper one of the Dialogists giving an account of our late wars, says they proceeded in some measure from Rascally politics, pressing both sides to extremity, and fomenting all differences into the bargain: but Doggerel hopes to see a 1000 such Rascally Pickthanks hanged before any thing of that nature happen again. Now what harm is in all this?  
Then Doggerel is charged with raving again, because he tells of ranging the petitions of trying the Lords in the Tower, with mutinous, and seditious ones, as an argument in some men's esteem of equal guilt: but this he comes very well off in, for he fairly tells us, that those 5 petitions, one against the Lords in the Tower, another for the sitting of the Parliament, till they had gone through with what they had to do,  
3. For taking away the Bishop's votes,  
4. Removal of Evil Councillors,  
5. Putting the Militia into safe hands, are all without any intimation, or charge of crime, that now must be fallacious; for every body that knows any thing, must know that all petitions of that nature but the first, though never so modestly offered, are seditious if not treasonable. Then he falls upon poor Doggrel for taking it ill that the City should be reflected upon as ill affected, and not writing against the appeal from the country to the city, as if writing of pamphlets were every man's duty: but the Squire to mend all comes off very prettily from his charge of perpetual clamouring upon the Presbyterians for 1641. And passing by the Irish rebellion by saying, it is just as if a man should quarrel another that is intent upon the theme of Conventicles for not writing the history of Japan; as if the matters of those rebels now in a fresh conspiracy as may be reasonably believed by any but of an extraordinary scull, were as foreign to our concerns as the affairs of Japan, but it is his nature to slubber off all things that may reflect upon Popery still at that rate.  
But in page the 10. he humms it off, when he tells us what dangerous rogues the schismatics are, and refers us to a drunken and tumultuous meeting in Essex at an election, of which there is no record extant, and so believable at pleasure; but his averments are commonly so authorized, that if Doctor Oates' had not been otherwise, I should have been as willing to have shamed it away as any body.  
Then the Gentleman falls upon poor Doggrel for his kindness to that party in saying truth, that they asserted the King's interest in the lowest ebb, and that they were the second cause of his Majesty's restauration; for no body can deny, but that the Scots under Duke Hamilton, and Sir G. Booth and his party undertook a noble design, though it failed in the end, but I assure that learned Gentleman, that the Royal party was left out, not of designment, but as there was no occasion to speak of it; for if Doggrel be the man I think on, he is as much a Royalist and son of the Church, as his mighty Antagonist, and hath run through as many prisons for that cause as most of his circumstances; and I am sure his answering Cit. and Bumpkin, was not the result of any disloyalty, but only to lay an unknown person open, who by his pestilent insinuations had endeavoured to provoke so considerable a number of men, as are comprehended in that paper; and I dare say he is very sorry, the author proves to be Mr. L'estrange, or any body of loyal persuasion who I wonder should run down Doggrel for his meally mouthed way of covering the late rebellion under the gentle term of deviation, and then call him brute, and what not, for it, when Mr. L'estrange may call to mind, if his Pickeering against the Plot have not made him forget the method of prayer, that the greatest sins incident to mankind, are comprehended by the Church, under the soft expression, of erring, and straying from the ways of God, which is synonymous to deviation. Then the Gentleman falls to railing against the Parliament that dissolved themselves in order to the settlement of the nation, a thing as foreign to the matter designed as it is to good manners, considering how instrumental they viz. the major part were.  
Then the learned Gentleman clears himself of writing the loyal intelligence, if he say true, for his credit is now in the wane, he hath but the luck to father other folk's children, a fate sometimes incident upon a married state, when a young wife is in the case. Then he falls to picking out dangerous matters from a paper of verses in denham's Sophy, and from some fatal end of some unfortunate Princes, which he resolves into this great treasonable charge at last, that Doggrel had a mystery in his meaning, and so leaves him to expound it himself, a very kind expression considering the charge page 12. but within two lines he claws poor Doggrel off, and tells us that His Libel is the venom, and malice of several others drawn into one, with lies, sauciness and ribaldry of his own. The gentleman I perceive foams, for I cannot tell what he means by those words, but men that are of great fame may call any thing by any name they please without control; but I wonder those small things, if there were such, should be so severely reproved, when his own profane swearing, and scurrilous scoffing at holy language, is considered in his learned dialogue, a thing animadverted on by Doggrel, though not replied to by the Squire. Then he makes a sally for a jest, allows himself to be a fiddler, to call poor Doggrel fool into the bargain, a thing forced in to show his wit, which is so mean too, as would scarcely become the grandeur of a Sophister; for Doggrel never fixed that name upon him. I have now done with the gentleman, who has now taken his leave of Doggrel, and continues the rest of his discourse in an harangue of his own incomparable pen, and loyalty, and I think the gentleman has been like his neighbours for the latter, but if for the former, I'll conclude with a story. A certain great Lady in the world was as indefatigable a writer in Philosophical, as the Squire in Polemical discourse; so one of her retinue commending her for employing her time in those noble studies, when other Ladies wasted theirs in some trifling way or other: There is but one thing, added he, to make your Ladyship complete. What, that replied the Lady, being well pleased with the preamble. Even, says the Gentleman, burn on the Saturday night, what you wrote the week before. And truly if the Squire would follow that method, it would be a great quietness to mankind, and so I rest  
Your humble servant, Philo. Doggrel.