The Sisters of the Scabards' HOLIDAY: OR, A Dialogue between two reverend and very virtuous Matrons, Mrs. Bloomesbury, and Mrs. Long-Acre her near Neighbour.  
Wherein is Discoursed how terrible, and costly and Civil Law was to their Profession; and how they congatulate the welcome Alteration.  
PRINTED, 1641.   

The Sisters of the Scabards' holiday, OR A dialogue between two reverend and virtuous Matrons Mrs. Bloomsbury, and Mrs. Long-acre her near neighbour. Wherein is discoursed how terrible and costly the civil law was to their profession, and how they congratulate the welcome Alteration, etc.  Blomesbury. 
MY great friend mistress Long-acre, you are very happily met.  L. 
My large friend Mistress Bloomsbury, not so great as yourself, though (thanks to our fat-feeding ale) I am pretty well grown, I am pretty plump I'faith.  B. 
So it seems, for your belly is plumped up as big as a Bucking-tub.  L. 
And yours is not much less, for in my opinion any one might judge your fat Ale, (as you call it) had engendered a Land Porpus in your belly, but I pray thee let's leave off this discourse, and tell me what news you hear, what is the cause you look so pleasantly?  B. 
Better news than ever I looked for.  L. 
I pray thee kind sister proceed let's hear it.  B. 
All the Civil Lawyers, the Judges, Doctors, Advocates, Proctors, Registers, and all their Coney-hunting Clerks, that love handsome wenches so well as their Masters, shall now ready pay for their venery, if they have it, they shall be no more privileged.  L. 
Why neighbour Bloomsbury, did not your Civil Lawyers use to pay ready money for your commodities, I hope they did not use to stop in with you for their fees; for my part, I never privileged them; and if at any time they traded in my ware, (as many times they did) I would never trust them without ready money no more than they would me for their fees, yet I used them ever more conscionably than they did me.  B. 
But what had you always ready money of their Clerks too?  L. 
No apoxe on'em, those were the basest fellows, they were worse than Apparators especially in a long vacation, yet many times (to give the Devil his due) at the latter end of a Michaelmas Term, they were more liberal than their Masters.  B. 
Good neighbour Long-acre, tell me what these Gent. in the cut-fingered gloves would do in a long vacation.  L. 
Why I tell you, in either term or vacation, these Gentlemen were more curious with what ware they dealt then their Masters, for many times we could put off any Commodities to them, and they would be content (though they were fain to employ a Surgeon when they came home) but these Gentlemen Clerks they must have fresh wenches and handsome ones too (though their faces were plastered half an inch thick or beautified with Lady's face Physic) those same mackereltaild Gentlemen would swallow up whole bottles of strong water, and when they were got a little in drink would kick me and my whole family out of doors, both male and female, young and old, pimps and rogues, whores and bawds, and go their ways and pay me not one farthing.  B. 
Truly they used you unconscionably.  L. 
Nay this was not all, the very next day they would send an Apparator, who would warn both me and my whole harmless household to appear in Paul's the next Court day, to answer for keeping a common bawdy-house, ready furnished with mercenary whores, who daily commit the carnal act of incontinency, and for many other misdeameanors.  B. 
Trust me Mistress Long-acre, I have been served in the like manner; but I pray how came you off.  L. 
First I must pay the Apparator his whole fees, with large considerations for his extraordinary pains and attendance, then must I repair to these Gentlemen who had so abused us, and invite them to a breakfast forsooth, and make my composition with them and give them larger fees than their Mr. to take off the business, or else leave off the trade and be utterly undone, I assure you sister Bloomsbury, there is I know not how many of those Clerks about Doctors-Commons that live upon nothing else every long vacation, then upon such projects as these; but now (thanks to the impartial Parliament) their trading gins to fail them.  B. 
Is that possible, sister Long-acre?  L. 
'Tis true as I tell you: And all the smelsmock crew of Messengers, Summoners, Apparators, and Promoters whatsoever must now either turn shoulder-clapper Bailiffs, Setters, Knights of the Post, or else go hang themselves; I intent to pay no more quarterage to these skruing Gentlemen I'faith.  B. 
As I am here, I should rejoice more at the downfall of these Gentlemen you named last, then of all the rest, for I paid them constantly ten pound a year, and yet still was in fear of them for all that, and was sure to ride once a year in a single Coach with two wheels up Cheapside, where I make no question but you know how I was used.  L. 
Yes truly, for it hath been my own case many times. But let these things be forgotten, let's think how to increase our trading: for my part I intent to do this for the renewing of my trade, what Gentlewomen I have I will keep: And I will send Henry Hackester my chief pimp to collect, gather, and bring home all my fugitive and strayed Gentlewomen, viz. Mistress Lacie, Mistress Skinner, Mistress Butler, Mistress Webster, Mistress Glover, Mistress Symmons, and Mistress Clayton, if she be not spoilt already, for she hath great resort to her lodging at a Barbers in Fetterlane) with many others, whereof he hath a catalogue; And for the further upholding of our trade, if it please you to join with me (sweet Mrs. Bloomsbury) when we grow rich which I doubt not but it will be ere long, we will build an Hospital for all of our society that are old and not able to keep up trade, and for these that are young and fail in their trade by their overmuch practice or immoderate dealing in their trade, wherein we will have twenty Apothecaries and forty Surgeons gallantly maintained, and other necessary instruments to our trade belonging.  B. 
But stay there sweet Mistress Long-acre, for though the Civil Law be likely to have a fall, and the greatest part of our enemies break, yet I believe our profession (though never so necessary) will have new enemies, our prosperity will be envied; we shall stand in awe to one or other, by whom we shallbe corrected in case we transgress.  L. 
That is to be considered truly: However lets at the downfall of our enemies, rejoice and send proclamations through Turnmill-street, Goulding-lane, Beech-lane, Pick-hatch, and in all other places where any of our society remains to proclaim a general feast, and  
Let Doctors Commons, and our foes do what they may,  
We Sisters of the scabbard will keep holiday.   
FINIS.