The good Woman's CRIES against the EXCISE Of all their Commodities.  
SHOWING, As the business now stands, they are in no Case able to bear such heavy Pressures, and insupportable Burdens, occasioned by the Iuncto's new Impost on their Wares, whereby they are like to fall into great want of Trading. and putting off their Commodities at the prizes formerly, to the utter undoing of their dear Husbands and Families for ever.  
Therefore having a  of one another's lamentable and languishing Cases, (notwithstanding any Act to the contrary) have put forwards themselves to seek redress of their aggrievances, and inabilities of their overburdened Husbands insufficiencies, and unsatisfying performances in their several Occupations; have convened together in a Feminine Convention in Doe-little-lane, and tendered their aggrievances and complaints to the consideration of the Commonwealth; desiring speedy redress therein.  
Written by MARY STIFF, Chair-woman, in Vinegar Verse.  
WESTMINSTER: Printed at the Sign of the Horns in Queen-street, near my Lord Fairfax's House, and are to be sold at the Dildoe in Distaffe-Lane. 1650.   

The good Woman's CRIES against the Excise, on all their Commodities.  
Good People all that hear our Cries,  
Pity poor women's Miseries.  
WE cannot now set on the Pot, with a Sheehead die of the rot, Oynon nor Oatemell use God-wot; (pox take them:) When that we go to salt our meat, or to make Pies to bake and eat, this damned Excise lies in the heat that bakes them: We cannot wash our Smocks or Shirts, when we have gilded them by squirts, but strait in an Excise-man blurts, and smells too't. Excise for Soap the Knave requires, Excise for Log-wood used by Dyers, to maintain Rogues, Knaves, Flooles, and Liars, pray look too't. Tobacco two shillings the pound, the Devil sure will them confound, good people pray come curse them round, and spare not. Excise on Ale, Excise on Salt, Excise on Cloth, Excise on Malt; Excise on what so ere you call't, and fear not. All Linen fine or course must pay, Excise, or else they'll take't away, Lord who ere thought to see this day, in England? for Featherbeds, for Chairs, for Stools; for children's Babies, Caps for Pools, and for all handy-crafts-mens' tools, these Knaves stand: Excise for Paper I must pay, or else my Muse must pine away; they care not what I writ or say, in anger. Excise they have-for Pots and Pans, for Pigins, Noggins, and for Cans, yet Harry Martin's ware free stands, to bang her Excise strong as Aquvaita the Juncto hath to make them mighty; and when they're warmed, O then they'll fight ye, with ten Whores; Excise on Sugar brown and white, Excise on Candles that we light, but when King Charles comes, then we'll fight, and quit scores. Excise on Spirits they do lay, but from such Spirits Lord we pray, deliver us and chase away, these vermin; they do Excise Wine by the Tun, and all the Liquors that do run, a Halter catch them, or a Gun, that harm men: Sweet Sugar-Candy cannot scape, no more than can the juice of Grape; Ferreting, Shoestrings, Laces, Tape, they get by: Hatbands, Ribbons, Gloves, and Hats; and for our Beds the very Mats, Tinderboxes and Rat-Traps, they live by. Excise for Pepper, Currans, Figs; for Capons, Rabbits, and for Pigs, for children's Tops and Whirlygigs, pox rate them. For Earthen Ware and Skins of Leather, a Halter tie them fast together, that they may hang in wind and weather, to state them: Excise on Cheese and Butter too, the more for to augment our woe, good God what will these Rebels do? to beggar's. Excise on Glasses brittle Ware; Excise on all save of our care, we must lie hard, and hardly far, guds doggers: Excise on Pewter, Tin, Led, Brass; to furnish out each ignorance Ass; and Assessments for Sir Thomas, and Cromwell: thus do they rack, thus do they rave; the more we give, the more they crave; else plundered by each Rogue and Knave, and Rakehell. The Bishop's Lands and all their store, 've lately sold, and yet are poor, and like the Horse-Leach cry more, more, and threaton. But if all things hit but aright, and Charles the second comes to fight; the Rebels will be hanged downright, or beaten: Tom Ladle than will rue his folly, and Bradshaw Jack be melancholy, the loyalists be brisk and jolly, to hear i; Though these have murdered the King, they must not think to scape the string; a joyful sight to see them swing, ne'er fear it. The roguery that these Knaves have hatched, in all the world cannot be match d, but in their snare they will be catched, in halters: we'll Bonfires light with Cromwell's Nose, and Tyburn deck with Charles his foes, and Gregory shall have all their Clothes, when't aliers. Then will the Sister's snot and snivel, and all the Saints make piteous drevil; when Cromwell marches to the devil in earnest. Corbet will close Mourner be, and Mildmay swing in a whimsy; High then quoth Leuthall, up go we, intrue jest. Such Hypocrites can never scape, that murder, steal, and commit Rape; for them the mouth of hell doth gape, wide ; were ever people deceived thus? was ever King so glorious? or Religion reformed thus? by Poper Gun powder Traitors did but intent, to bring their King to such an end; but that the Devil was not their friend, betrayed them but these have in an open Hall, with impudence gone beyond all; nor did those blondy Traitor's fall, dismay them. They butchered Charles at his own gate, they took his Jewels, Money, Plate; and call themselves a Free State, by plunder: They sold his Hair, his Blood, and Crown; they keep the Prince too from his own, were ever such damned Traitors known, O wonder! They sold his Householdstuff & Goods, his Manors, Forests, Chases, Woods; yet seek to shed his children's bloods, like Devils: They damned their souls by treachery; sacrilege, and perjury; of covetousness no end we see, of evils. Our Husbands they no work can get, our Children starve for want of meat, and all we earn must make Knaves great, in bravery; whilst Cromwell's Trull sits like a Queen; in Cloth of Silver, Satin green, eats all the dainties can be seen, by slavery: Then doth her Stallion feed his fill, and of his Last then has his will; Morley must make, and Noll must kill, 'tis pretty: each stinking Puss, that t'other day, served the Hogs, and went to hay, now's clad in the Queen's rich array, ' th'City Whilst Fairfax with's bable-Nose, wears the King's rich Gloves and , and of his Hang doth dispose, God save us: his Fro that came from Rotterdam and makes the simpleton a R— as proud as is the Devil's Dam, outbrave us: whilst Mistress Pride, that stinks of grains, must have two maids bear up her trains, although her legs be full of Blains, and itchy. These be the Nobles of our Land, greatest in power and command; for which you work, you fight, you stand, they'll fit ye. When Bradskaw's Doxy doth lie in, she has the Queen's Childbed linen, as if the Brat to Charles were Kin, her Bastard: That great Lollpoops no sooner up, but has his Caudle in the King's Cup; and like his blood, doth swallowed up, base dastard: Then doth he unto Whitehall high, with brace of Pages hanging by, to invent more tyranny and treason: but if good women, you'll be ruled, we'll be by him no longer fooled, and that his courage should be cooled, is reason. jone Barnet then upright did stand, and silence with her voice command, would take the business in ●and, to pox him: to Westminster strait she hies, under the Cloister where he lies, and all her cunning there she tries, to cross him pretending great business she had; of which he said he should be glad, but in the end it proved so to Bradshaw into a room he took her then, and soon commanded out his men; and stoutly they fell to it then, without Law. jone Burne● then came back a pace, when jack had quibled her Law-Case, & shrived jone like a-Babe of Grace, and after, to the Committee jone back did come, and told them the great work was done; they gave her thanks, and home she run, in laughter. The Women than did choose a Crier; and so adjourned unto the fire, and did jones witty trick admire, with wonder; this was the business of that day, they all adjourned and went their way; and met again the next Thursday, like thunder. The first thing that they took in hand, was the abuses of the Land, and how in baste they might disband, the Army; Then up stood Dell, and Sis, and Sue; and said, that Women the Lurdanes slew, that robbed good people of their due; and harm ye Quoth judeth then, one of my name killed H●l●fernes of great fame; and jael did do the same to Sisera: did not Ester the jews preserve; when Haman did from Justice swerve? more lies upon us when we starve, O Merdecay. Hang Haman up again I cry, that hath sentenced us jews to die, revenge is fit for tyranny, a Gallows. jack Bradshaw shall the same fate feel, and so shall Cook, Wild, Iermin, Steele, all drunk into perdition reel, what follows? I dare not them with Hell affright, the Worm of Conscience so doth by't, they cannot rest by day nor night in quiet: and when that they do go to eat, they still fear poison in their meat, their jealousy is wondrous great in diet. When they do think to rest in bed, some bloody vision frights their head, of righteous Charles they murdered at Whitehall; but if we do not end the strife, which must be with their cursed life; of Children, Father, Son and Wife, be hanged all. The Independent race we know, hold Tenants rending to our woe, and England's fatal overthrow, do study: but if we cannot understand, how they have late o recome the Land, and now have all at their command, weare muddy. No Law but th'Sword they will rule by, their boundless wills & tyranny; good women all their Acts defy, and curse them: their Father Lucifer and Pride, with Cromwell that damned Regicide, and the City hath them supplied, and nursed them. The Common Cuckolds of Guildhall, with Atkins, sob, Tychburn, and all, that Canaan's Grapes hath turned to Gall, and Worm wood; Caryl, Carter, Gouge, and Nye, that can swear, forswear, fawn, and lie, to every wind their sails they'll try, were ne'er good: Then in come Meg and loyal Doll, and bid a pox of God take Noll, and all the Rebels in , confounded; quoth Meg the Devil take them all; quoth Doll I hope to see them fall, or else be hanged before , each Roundhead. Quoth Sis, a plague take Bradshaw jack, quoth Sue, the devil take the pack; Heaven grant they ne'er may hangging lack, nor curses: and when they're at the point to die; Heaven nor Physician hear their cry, all Ministers comfort them deny, and Nurses. Quoth Moll, some plague give them their hire, that they may die like Pym their Squire, like Dortslaw, or like Macquire, be hanged: quoth Bess, a while I'd have them stay, till Destruction makes them way; and when the King shall win the day, be banged, Quoth Kate, my wishes they shall have, each perjured Rebel, Fool, and Knave, may hang in Chains and want a grave, to bury: quoth Ruth, profess I do not think, but that the Knaves begin to stink; being even now at Destructions brink, to ferry. Quoth Prue, Charon will surely take then in, and Furies whip them for their sin; not sparing Weaver, not Evelyn, nor Grimston: quoth Deb, may Fairfax, Pride, and Rich, Hewson, and joice, that lousy stitch, have fire and scorpions at at their breech, and Brimston; quoth Peg, good Sisters I could curse, but 'twill but make them worse and worse, like Foxes they thrive better thus, in Treason: give them but Rope, they'll hang themselves, and wrack their hopes on Rocks and Shelves, and that's the end of all such Elves in Reason. Let's all set forward's and redress our grievances, quoth Madge and Bess, and snatch these Sons of Wickedness, in sunder: content (quoth Meg) my Distaff shall upon their pates so heavy fall, that I'll go near to beat them all, with wonder, Let's choose a General (quoth Kate) and we their Pride will soon abate; it is not done with talk and prate; but action: they than proceeded to a Choice, and every Woman had her Voice, and so they chose them lusty Joyce, called Blackston. A Virago strong and stout that had been tried full many a bout, and ne'er would turn tail, nor give out, but forward: she'd made an Ass of many a man, that none before her long could stan: when she but drew, away they ran a full yard. They all agreed to raise new force, Side-saddles, Pistols, women, Horse, with Spits, and Fireforks, to take course, with the Army. This news came quickly to , and did so fright the Rebels all, that they to Counsel strait did fall, to harm ye: one said 'twas fit that women should, take the Engagement, if they would, or else they should by them be fooled, and flowered. Their Members too, that were but weak, would be disabled to speak, and then their Trade must surely break, when ●●ted. Let Bradshaw be made High-Constable, and Denby Precedent of State-Table, and then, come women we are able, to stand too't: quoth Denby, I accept the place, 'cause the black patches in my face, will make the women run apace, and ne'er do't▪ Quoth Harry Meldmay it is fit, that strait we do new forces get, one beat me in the Gravill-pit, and crazed me: quoth Martin, I will never turn, although they did my weapon burn, and once in fight my heart did earn, they mazed me. But let them come, I'll fight again, and so I hope will Harry Vein, it is not fit such queans should reign, and vapour: and though my Body be not sound, I still have force to keep my ground, & with half weapon can them wound, than caper. Quoth Weaver, pray be not dismayed, I fear we are all on's betrayed, the plot's discovered by my Maids great belly: Alack quoth Bradshaw, as you are men, let's make an Act to banish them, ten miles from London, surely then, I'll tell ye: we may sit still by free consent, gather Excise and Assessment, and all live Kings by Praliament ev'rlasting. Pray hear me though, quoth Baron Wild, Mr. Weavers Maid that seems with Child, I searched her and my shirt defoyled, 'twas fasting: I sent her then to Justice Lowder, lest in her breech she carried powder, and he got her a place to shroud her, till laid. But if you take it for a plot, refer her case to Mr. Scot, lest the House and Tower should God-wot, betrayed. A general fear surprised them all, they do like Babel's bvilders call; who says that Pride won't have a fall? deceive us: now they have robbed us of our Gold, murdered our King and his Goods sold, they will 'tis thought run from their Hold, and leave us.  
Pray stop them not, give them free way to go,  
The longer they stay here, the more's our woe.  
Marry Stiff, Cler. to the House.  
FINIS.