To the Right Honourable The Parliament of England Assembled at WESTMINSTER.  
The humble Petition of ARTHUR HASLERIG.  
Showeth,  
THat your said Petitioner hath ever since the beginning of these troubles been a man of a most turbulent and vexatious spirit; and finding himself grown a little popular among the rude multitude, he made the best use of it he could to the ruin of his country; So that should your Petitioner reckon up to your Honours all the Crimes and Tyrannical actions which he made a shift to justify while he was in Authority, his Petition would swell into a Volume, and his impatience would hardly give him leave to tarry till you had read it. Truly, he is afraid all the sand in the Sea might run through an hourglass before you could perform that task. Your Petitioner also showeth, that he should be loath to be called to his answer four and forty times, as Cato was, who was likewise so many times acquitted; for he is afraid that one time would be enough to find him forty times over guilty. The pride of whose heart hath ever been greater than Satan's; and he questions not, but that if he had been an Angel of Light in Heaven before the Creation, he had had the same fall with Lucifer; at the pooreness of whose spirit he much wonders; for that if it had been your Petitioners case, he should not have rested so well satisfied at the change of his Government, and have given over without so much as contriving one Plot for the recovery of it again. The aim of his Ambition being so high, that had he ability according to his desire, he would destroy the King of Spain, the Pope, the great Turk, the great Mogul, the Duke of Russia, with all the rest of the Potentates and Princes of the World, not because they are either Idolators, or Pagans, or Enemies to Christ and his Doctrine; but out of his insatiable desire to domineer over the whole World. He also further showeth, that the Reason why he hath forsaken Christianity, is, because the Ministers tell him that Christ must Reign over him; and he doth hereby manifest to your Honours his great envy to Tamburlaine, because he had so great a Power over one of the greatest Monarchs in the World, as to lead him up and down in a Cage, and always made him lie at his Horse side to tread upon, when he got up into his Stirrup; which honour he always coveted, though now he finds himself in a small possibility to obtain it, he having done all that possibly he could to enslave his country to the Tyranny of two or three Usurpers besides himself, who had promised that he should be their supreme, as one who was resolved to have stopped his ears against all the clamours of the oppressed People, and with a fury and violence to have carried on his Great Work; He also doth acknowledge, that he always had a great kindness for Dionysius, Sylla, Caesar Borgia, Nero & Caligula, because they were great Tyrants and oppressors of their countrymen. Your Petitioner in the last place further declareth, that he beareth an immortal and unremovable Spleen, Hatred and Malice to his Excellency, and your Honours, for interrupting his designs, which hath so increased his stomach, that he could eat both your Honours and him with Salt; Nevertheless he is now constrained to sue unto you for pardon, and  
In consideration of the Premises, he humbly craveth of your honours, that you would in the first place set a Mark upon him, as God set upon Cain, lest the People whom he hath so much wronged should slay him wherever they meet him.  
Secondly, That he may have the Liberty to wear a Brass Helmet to secure his rash head from Stones and Brickbatts, for that he finds the freeborn boys of England very much enraged against him.  
Thirdly, That he may have an Army of ten thousand Foot, and six thousand Horse to guard him from outrages, which if your honours please to grant, he will not only use it to his own advantage, but to the confusion of all your good Endeavours.  
Fourthly, That your Honours would fully forgive your Petitioner, and give him an Act of Indemnity, he having an Estate able to satisfy most persons that shall now call him to an account, which upon assurance of your gracious favour he promiseth (though very unwillingly) to do, provided you will not suffer his Children to go a Begging.  
Fifthly, That you would be pleased to give your Petitioner and Coll. Lambert a Certificate to Gog and Magog, to give us a Command at the battle of Armageddon, For that we understand, that if the Saints get the better at that fight, all confusion will be at an end in this World, which we should be very sorry to see.  
Lastly if all, or any of the former Particulars may not be granted, That your Honours would be pleased to hang him out of the way, for that it was his desire on Thursday was seven-night, and because he also promised it before one of the Lords Commissioners, if his cause went against him, which happened accordingly.  
And your petitioner shall never Pray, &c.   

Printed, for anybody.