Tom Tel-Troths come to town again with his humours. Under which Humour is contained these particulars: Viz. 

A Rope for a Parat.  
A Babble for a Foole.  
A Spring for a Woodcock.  
And a Snare for a Fox.    
Collected and published to make honest and wise men merry, or fools and knaves mad.   printer's or publisher's device 
Printed at London for Th: Lambert near the Red Cross in Little Britain. 1643.   

Tom Tel-Troths HUMOUR.  
HOw now my masters, what's the matter? what, shall we have Tom Tel-troathes humour? what kind of fellow's this Tom Tel-troath, that he must have his peculiar humour published, (nay more) and this humour of his is proposed as a pattern for honest men to imitate? 'tis strange, yet as true; for let me tell you, this book contains (as in the title 'tis promised) A rope for a Parat, (you may understand me) A babble for a fool, (done't mistake me) A springe for a Woodcock, (I hope you conceive me) and a Snare for a Fox, (that's a cup of good Ale, as I think) this is Tom Tel-troathes humour.  
Item, he esteems a man not altogether for his wealth, but something for his virtue and honesty, for he is persuaded that a rich man may bind a lie more firmly by his credit, than a poor man by his oath: this is Tom Tel-troathes humour.  
Item, he cannot endure a man that will beat his wife, for he thinks that such provocations may induce an honest woman to work revenge without resisting: you know how, my masters, don't you? this is Tom Tel-troathes humour.  
Item, he is of opinion that a Broker's conscience lies in his shop-book, and that of all extortioners he is the greatest; for your common Usurers are to be accounted courteous kind neighbours, and Commonwealth's men, in comparison of Brokers; yet of both, if there be ever a good one, there is none bad: this is Tom Tel-troaths humour.  
Item, he loves to look before he leap, and to advise before he execute any great design, because foresight is as good as working, and policy oftentimes performs what strength cannot: Probattm est: this is Tom Tel-troths humour.  
Item, of all kind of creature; (next unto man) he honnours a woman, because she is man's necessary partner, and may at her pleasure elevate his fortune, these things he knows may be, but he is loath to prove it in himself: this is Tom Tel-troths humour.  
Item, he hates a Bawd and a Horse-courser, and holds them both alike in their professions, because both sell Jades, only the difference is in this, the Bawd sells few under fifteen, and the Horscourser all under five: this is Tom Tel-troths humour.  
Item, he is indifferent-whether he have any money or none, but to supply his wants, and pay his debts, otherwise he thinks money to be a thing not worthy of such esteem as it hath now adays among people, because though we covet it so much, yet in time of necessity a halfpenny loaf, and a pint of beer, or water, will stand us in more stead, than ten millions of gold or silver, which we can neither eat nor drink, this is certain true: and this is Tom Tel-troths humour.  
Item, he wisheth that those prattling ignorant Parats which call indifferently for an Almond and a Rope, because they are a cage of unclean birds, whose tongues set people together by the ears, while they cry, Walk knave, walk, both to good and bad, let the last word stand, a rope for Parat, walk knave, walk: this is Tom Tel-troths humour.  
Item, he loves a Soldier with his heart, and he counts his profession truly honourable, but in this respect he would live lovingly by his neighbour, but is loath to have need of him, so he loves and respects a Soldier, but he begs of heaven, that he may never stand in want of that calling: you understand me Gentlemen, peace is a precious commodity: this is Tom Tel-troths humour.  
Item, he is of that Religion which prefers obedience before sacrifice, and humility before private opinion or self-conceit, and if any thing wants reformation, he thinks prayer, patience, and longanimity, to be a better, safer, and more pleasing way, than thus to go so roundly to work, expecting great matters to be done in a moment: this is not: Tom Tel-troths humour.  
Item, he prefers Antiquity before Novellisme, as age claims precedency before youth, and although he confesses that Barns, Stables, Tubs, Chairs, and Baskets were made and used before Churches and Pulpits were built, yet he holds it fitting that every Tub should stand upon its own bottom, and that there should be a distinction between divine and profane places, persons, and things, let all be done to property, and nothing to slander and obloquy: this is Tom Tel-troths humour.  
Item, he deems it an horrible disgrace for a man to scold in the street, for it is a material point of wisdom and humanity to distinguish a Socrates from a Xanthippe, let a hen be known by her cackling, and a cock by his manly crowing, carriage, and valour: this is Tom Tel-troths humour.  
Item, he scorns cowardice, and he as much hates quarrelling: in his own defence, and a lawful cause he can fight, yet prefers peace before dissension, remission of faults before severe revenge, and if he wear any weapon, it is rather to defend himself or his friend, then to offend others: this is Tom Tel-troths humour.  
Item, he cares not much whether there be any Bishops or no, (as the case stands) if there be any, he would have them to be as as they ought, painful Preachers, humble and devour, examples of piety, charity, hospitality, and all Religious acts, no unnecessary intermeddler with worldly and temporal businesses, through avaricious desire of gain) but careful feeders, not fleecers of the flocks committed to their government: this is Tom Tel-troths humour.  
Item, he is no great gamester, unless it be at Put, for a pot, to pass idle time: but he loathes them who put more into their heads then their legs can well carry, and so turn pastime and honest recreation into painful profanation, and a high way to damnation: This is a snare for a Fox, but not Tom Tel-troths humour.  
Item, he loves at all times (according to his ability) whatsoever himself does, to provide necessary; for his wife and family, this every honest man is bound in conscience to do, and (if I mistake not this is Tom Tel-troths humour.  
Item, he holds it requisite in a woman, so he hopes his wife is, to be sober, honest, loving, thrifty and cleanly, for, and to her husband; 〈◊〉 raylineg scold, no sluttish quean, no drunken for, no carry-tale gossip, no backbiter, no envious slanderer, nor one who rather than he should be conted a Roundhead, will make him a Ramhead, the first qualities are to be loved and respected, the last to be loathed and rejected of all: and this is Tom Tel-troths humour.  
Item, to become surety, and to enter into bond for another man's debt, to be deluded by fair promises, to engage himself so fare for his feigned friend, that you may, count him a sure constant man, and know always where to find him, I hope you conceive me, that's a springe for a Woodcock, but it is not Tom Tel-troths humour.  
Item, he conceives but little difference between a Potter and a Carrier, or Carter, yet some there is, for the Porter patiently understands how things are carried by himself, but the other must say Gramary horse for his living; and though the world run on wheeler with him, yet sometimes he hath enough to do to keep the Cart upon the wheels, therefore the Porter may claim precedency: this is Tom Tel-troths humour.  
Item, he deems it unfitting that a man should disfigure himself by spoiling that which God and Nature hath lent him for an ornament, and that is the hair of the head, which some pole so close, that they seem rather to be Monkeys than men; no he says that mediecrity is to be observed in such a measure, that not only pride, but also scandal may in some sort be avoided: this is Tom Tel-troths humour.  
Item, as he loves no shorter hair than necessity urgeth, so on the other side he abhors this abominable custom of Protean Periwigs; which to say plain, mikes a man in the open street appear like a Player, acting a part upon ●●e Sta●●e 〈…〉 casualty of sickness to deprive him of that natural ornament, he'll be contented to wait his leisure who took … owly the first crop, till he send a second: but a Periwig out upon't, that's a babble for a fool, not fitting for a wise man to use, (done't mistake me) this is Tom Tel-troths humour.  
Item, when he sees a man go into a noted common bawdy house, than he conjecture; (I and that very probably too) that within self then an hour after there will be a commotion between two malignant Plants, (Planet, I might have said, … t let the full word stand) which conjunction is likely to produce dangerous and pestiferous effects, among the rest, it will certainly lighten (the pockets he means) and great intolerable heat may be judged to succeed, with malevolent diseases; what the pox shall we think else of this horrible conjunction, when a whore and a knave in that kind meet together, shine the Sun ne'er so clear, betwixt them there's foul weather: this is Tom Tel-troths humour.  
Item, he holds it repugnant to reason that truth should hope to be upheld and propagated by falsehood, he would have every man speak 〈…〉 unto his neighbour, 〈…〉 familiar with verily and sincerely, should let verity and sincerity b●e more conversant with their he rts: he would have no letters written without subscriptions and supe s ription, lest the intellectual suspect them of forgery: moreover he remembers an old Proverb, Veritas non quaerit a●gul●s; this is Tom Tel-troths humour.  
Item, he think it a great poin● of fo●ly in any man to thirst after news, whereof this age is so plentiful, that the matter being so false, the minor (though true) is suspected: and he can never forget my Lord Deputiet (more knave then) fool, who when a certain Lord was accused of speaking uncertain words, this fellow got a loaf in one hand, and a Neat's tongue in the other, so eating the bread, and holding up the tongue, my Lord asks, What's thy conceit, sirrah? Why Tom (quoth he) thou seest I hold my tongue, and eat my bread quietly: this anigma needs so Oedipus to discover it, 'tis so easily conceived, and this is Tom Tel-troths humour.   

Postscript.  

THis holding of the tongue puts me in mind  
To hold my pen; well Thomas once again  
I council thee to have thy heart inclined  
To what thy tongue has promised; else in vain  
Is this thy Humour published i'th' street,  
Unless thy heart and tongue in concord meet.    
FINIS.