Trust a Papist and trust the Devil, Or, No wit to a Woman's: A real Relation of a Romish Priest, who to obtain his desire upon a married Wife, not far from York, would fain have persuaded her, that Adultery was but a venial sin, with a copy of a Letter from the Recusant to the Woman, also her Answer to it, and she revealing it to her Husband.  
Also the manner how the Husband with some of his Neighbours did use this Priest coming to tempt his Wife in their own house, first they whipped him about the chamber, and afterward gelded him, as a most just recompense for his lasciviousness.  
As also, how a witty Maid served a Romish Catholic about the like matter, making him to fall into a River, where he scarce escaped drowning.  
Printed for W R. in the year 1642.   


HONI SOIT QVI MAL Y PENSE   royal English blazon or coat of arms   

THE LASCIVIOUS FRIAR.  
NOr fare from the City of York, there dwelled an honest man, who had a very handsome proper woman to his Wife, and which is strange, she was as honest as fair, as the sequel of the story plainly showeth.  
A certain Priest lighting in the Town, was going up to his Chamber, saw this honest woman come into the house for a pot of strong beer for her Husband that was newly come from his work. My man, who was so weary before, as he could scarce go up the stairs, (as he made mine Host believe) at this beautiful object, was as nimble as Mercury, and went not up so softly, but came down as fast; so magnetic was the beauty of this Female. Being come down the passionate man as one that could not bridle his nature, presently lays her on the lips, and calls for a quart of wine, and swears she must needs drink ere she went; the woman prays to be excused, she could not tarry, and she was loath to incur her Husband's displeasure for any man; but upon much entreaty, resolving to die rather than yield to any baseness, said, she would pledge him, on condition he would then let her go: this hypothetical proposition, though it had no sympathy with his desires, yet rather than he would prevent a future happiness, condescends (though faintly) and gins thus to her in a full bowl. Fair Mistress, from the bottom of my heart, as one admiring your perfections, I drink to you. Sir quoth she, (after she had pledged him) you are too deep for me, and therefore lest you drown me, farewell. And so abruptly without further thanks, took her leave. But my Gentleman being well read in the theory of her beauty, could not rest satisfied, till he had enjoyed the practic. And so once more ascends the stairs, all malcontent, where we will leave him to his imploring of the Pope for his redemption out of that Purgatory. Sub Galli cantum, as soon as the day appeared the next morning, up he rises, and calling for pen, ink, and paper, writes thus to his adored saint, the woman I mean, he drank with the night before.  
The Letter and true Copy of it.  
FAir Mistress, having but a little tasted of your beauty, as one sick of a Dropsy, I extremely thirst for more; and therefore tendering mine own welfare, and presuming of your indulgency, that you will not let me perish for want of drink, I make bold to request your presence once more. And lest you should doubt my payment, I have here enclosed, sent you a small token of my love, which I pray you to accept, and so I rest  
yours, or not mine own, T. C.  
This Lettter was delivered to the Chamberlain, who in all haste (as he was commanded) gives it the woman, who calling for her Husband shows it him: and so he read it: when he had done, and had fully understood the contents, applauding his Wife for her constancy, with mutual consent, returns him this answer, as written from his Wife.  
Her Answer.  
SIr, but that the place was neither so convenient, nor the time so opportune for me to have expressed my love to you; truly I could not have smothered the flames of it as I did; but if you please Sir, to make bold with my house this night, you shall enjoy that which I ever held as dear as my life, And so I rest  
yours, A. C.  
This being come to him, and read, never was poor Mariner in a storm more joyful when he had got his Ship in a safe Port, than he was of this Letter: and therefore without procrastinating, as soon as ever night was come, he repares to his beloved, whom he finds all alone, and after some few embraces, she conducts him to a chamber. O the raptures that this man was in! jason thought not himself more happy in the fruition of Madea, than he by enjoying her company.  
But Sodoms' Apples though they appear like gold, when a man would taste of them they vanish into smoke: so it happened to this gaol-like Priest, for this bitter Pocanium marred all the sweetness he tasted afore. Before she would seem to grant, she prayed him to resolve her, if the sin were pardonoble or no. Tush, quoth he, nothing more venial, fear not sweet heart, I warrant thee. Well, if it be so Sir, pray to bed, and I will come to you. To bed he goes immediately, but before he was scarce warm, in rushes her Husband with two more, well armed with good whips, and so taking him out of the bed, pulling his shirt over his ears, did so whip his posteriours, that my man looked just like the bloody man in our Almanacs, wounded by the twelve Signs; whiles the Woman jeering him, bid them have a care that he got not cold, for he was extreme hot. The Priest cried out pitifully, but it would not serve the turn; for when they had done, they tied him to the bed, and made a Capon of him, cutting out his stones, to cool his courage. Were all Romish Priests so handled, they would say Marriage were lawful, and no more abuse other men's Wives.  

A maid making a Roman-Catholique to fall into a River, and to scape drowning narrowly.  
THere was likewise a pretty maid not fare off that place, and much about the same time, who being solicited to folly by another Catholic (but not a Priest) when no answer would serve the turn, promised him fair, and said, she would meet him the next day in a meadow not far from her father's house, and then they would conclude of that which should be well-liking to them both. The time come, away she got before, and passeth over a River which parted the meadow, and then takes off the bridge, and lets it drive with the stream. My Youth coming asked her how she got over, I came in another way said she, but pray do you leap over, for I am in half. I, that I will sweet heart, and over thee too anon, and so fetching his run, leaped into a quagmire up to the middle and more; crying, prithee Love help me, but she laughing at him, and telling he was hot of a burning Fever, left him to get out as he could.   
FINIS.