The two City JUGGLERS Tichborn, and Ireton: Being A DIALOGUE: WHEREIN, Their Rebellions, Treacheries, Treasons, and Cheats, are fully discovered and brought to light: With some particular Demonstrations of adhering to the Rump, and Committee of Safety, to the Ruin as they intended both of Monarchy, City and Country. two men, representing Robert Tichborne and John Ireton Printed for T. Vere, with out Newgate 1660 The two City JUGGLERS Ireton. WEll met Brother, where have you bestowed yourself since the sad and unhappy Dissolution of the RUMP? wherein we ruled like Lords of the Sopls, and knew no power in competition with our own. Tichborn. I rambled up and down, and ever since thought the most private hole my best security, and like that foul Bird the Owl, did most of all converse and stir abroad in the dark. I. I wonder that we two whose souls did so much sympathize in contriving and acting of mischief, could endure such a long divorce of our bodies and society. T. I often wished your company, according to the old proverb, Birds of a Feather will flock together, and being here so happily met I think now we shall not part, until the gallows part us, for shame will never do it, that we have swallowed down and drank after it. I. Since for our deservings, and I th●nk if justice be not blind and partial, very few can lay a more deserving claim for their merit in this place then ourselves: we are thought worthy to be taken notice of, let us solace ourselves with a mouthful of fresh air and seasonable discourse. T. Brother lead the way. I. By no means, you are the elder— sSir. T. I did always think you more deserving then myself, and therefore grant you the precedency. I. I think 'tis no great matter who leads the dance now, for certainly we must both sing the same song, and all our mirth will end in Lacryma. T. I will rather be unmannerly then tedious, and when I go before I doubt not but you will soon follow and not be long after. I. But to begin with our discourse, what think you of us now the world is furned, and we turned out of doors. T. Nay we are not turned out but into the doors, so fast, that I fear there will be no Redemption, with out a Habeas Corpus, which will convey us to the place of Judgement, and from thence to the place of Execution. I. It was a most unlucky hour when the Rump was first dissolved, and the Committée of villainy erected in its place. T. Tush had either stood you and I had been secure, for we had got the trick to play on both sides, and what then need we have cared which part had taken place. I But because neither did take place, I am now confined to such a place, from which I would give my estate to be safe delivered, but that will not serve turn, but I must now arm myself with the patience of Job, and with him say, Naked I came into the world, and naked I must return again, for I am much afraid a Pecuniary Mulct w●ll not serre the turn. T. No certainly, for there is a Law called Lex Tallionis, which doth command an eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth, now if this Law be mad● our Judge, than I know what ought and must become of us for certainly we have not only been guilty of the undoing of many a family, but have been joyful instruments in taking away of many lives, I. I adhered to the Committée of Treachery not with a respect unto the Nation or City but hoping that by that power I might continue safe, and escape the deserved vengeance which the injuries of the people did tell, must necessarily fail upon me, if I were not secured and protected by that Usurped Authority. T. You thought alike of Church and State, served either to serve your own turn, and that being secured served neither. I. I saw the Church and State tottering which caused me to stick to the strongest side, that so I might secure one, T. When the Rump was established I was a Rumper and when the Committee of Safety was erect d. I thought good there to secure myself under their wings. I But who would have thought that while these two dogs were striving for the Bone, a third party should have stepped in and got the purchase from them both T. It was but just that we that had so long lived upon the spoil, should now at length be spoilt ourselves. I. We played the game at Chess, but with very bad success, for whilst we encouraged the Rooks and Pawns to take the King, we were by them taken at length. T. My Indulgency to Heresies and Factions which was the false foundation of our tottering building could not continue, but must needs molter and fall down. I. You made the first breach in the building, when you altered the City Rights and Privileges and submitted to oliver's Tyrannical power. T. Which was seconded by you when you were Lord Mayor, when you introduced the stubborn power of the Soldiers to awe and countermand their Liberties, and imagined that Huson with his Awl and Cobbler's ends might at any time stitch up such breaches. I. I did imitate you but as my example, T. Which we both performed with so much resolution and confidence, as if it had been impossible that we should ever have seen a turn again, but now the turn will cause us to have a turn, where we must turn over the Ladder. I. Where two wry faces and a Spanish shrug will finish the work, and then we shall sufficiently be rewarded for our pains, T. But before we go to the work, it is usual and will be convenient for public satisfaction that we make some confession of our lives and actions. I. 'twill not be amiss, but you being the elder shall have the precedency. T. Let it be so, and I do remember that in my Mayrolty by my continual compliance with old NOL the Proj ctor, that he esteemed of me as one of his most able Instruments. I. What did you act then? T. Knowing that he had no great esteem of the Church, after he had made Paul's a Den of Thiefs and a Stable for his Rebellious jades I brought the Market out of Cheapsideinto Paul's Churchyard, where they now buy and fell as they in Jerusalem did in the ancient time. I. You did not well in defacing the place of God's worship. T. By that means I gained respect with Oliver, the grand Imposter of all the world, & was Sainted in his Calendar of Rebellion, honour enough for such a poor sneak as I was. I. But what did you gain by removing the Market? T, My gain in that particular was not much, only I did show my dislike of the Church's power and the government thereof but the scent and colour of those wares which are there sold, might have given some correction unto the noisome smell of the Augean stables, but though the Commodities were sweet yet that Act made me stink ever since in the Nostrils of the people. I. How could you walk undiscovered to the eye and censure of the world. T. Because all that sat at the stern of Government, were of the same disposition. I made Religion my Stalking-horse, whereby I did compass my Game, and was counted a Saint, while in very truth I was a white Devil. I In the mean while where was conscience? T. That is a mere Bugheare to awe Fools. I served my god Mammon, thought it policy to thrive any trey Sacrilege if it brought in profit, was Piety. Learning, and Conscience I esteemed as things merely unnecessary and inconsistent with the times. I. Did you allow of cheating? T, Yes, as a necessary Ingredient to the composure of a thriving man, and now I think on't. I'll tell you a Story. A necessitated Captain of the Army, having much money due for Debentures was enforced to sell them at what rates he could; he makes his application to me, made his propositions & although I seemed unwilling at the first to deal, I was sharp set at the bait e, & after some small time we agreed upon the consideration I was to give him for them which was very small; when he come for his monyl told him I was not at that time provided with moneys, but that he must take wares for his Debentures which his necessities did enforce him to do, so I noosed the poor Captain, who by that means, for he was enforced to take the wares at my own rates for his three hundred pound, had but little above the tithe of me. Now Brother let me h●are some of your good deeds. I. I was always since the beginning, a true Servant in Rebellion, an Enemy to Monarchy, and served the Rump with as much fidelity as Scot did the wench, when he gave her five pounds for a night's lodging in her Quarter's. T. You were very liberally rewarded by them for your good service. I, I should have been if I could have obtained to have held the Office of Lord Mayor the second Year, which they endeadoured, and I made suit for, T. How came it that you were dismissed of it? I. The Court of Aldermen and Common-council did withstand me, T. For what reasons, & upon what grounds? I. For no great cause, but because I was a faithful servant to the Rump, and did join with them against the City T. Why would you be an adversary to that place whereof you were then the head? I, In politic proceed there's no respect to be had to private Relations: I sought by that means to bring the● to obedience to that power which then did and ought to bear tule for I found them to be as weary of that Government, as any prisoner of his confinement. T. What means did you use to suppress their murmur and hinder them from breaking out into action? I. By the Correspondency I held with my Brother Rumpers and with the Soldiery, whose mouths I knew did water at the riches and treasury of the City, and I tell you Brother, and nothing but the truth, If I had obtained my second Mayrolty, I would have so kerbed this contumations City, and made it as fame as any Brewer's horse, I would have put such a bit into their mouths, that I would have turned them which way I had pleased. T. Was your consent with the Rumpers for pulling down the City Gates, and introducing the Soldiery into the City before that time, when Hewson caused his Brother to be killed? I. For the admittance of the Soldiery into the City, I did not otherwise then as a Member of the Rump, not by any private directions or advise: but for the puiling down of the Gates I had a full and perfect consent therein neither was Haslerigge nor any who had interest in the Rump more forward than myself & rather than they should have prevailed against the power then on foot, I should have been contented to have seen Haslerig's intended sat to have befallen this City, to have seen London in a flame, and then I might have appeared a child of light, though my action's and the world say, I am a son of darkness. T, What reward do you expect for all these your good services done. We have gotnow a more just Master than we served before, and I make no question but he will take care we have our due. I. I'm sure we deserve as much as any, for our actions have been as notorious as any of the act o'er who are taken more notice of. T. Rest a while content, our turns will come when we shall be rewarded according to our deserts, when I believe we may sing the old Catch. We have oft been Rogues together, Now must hang twixt wind and weather, I. But Brother, my stomach is something squeazy, I would you would send to Pauls-Church-yard for a Salad for me, I know you have good credit amongst the Hear be Women. T. We are both sick of the same disease, and I think a little Extractum Zunalis, or extracted Hemp rightly applied will work the cure on us both. I. I could laugh methinks. T. For my part I am not so jocundly disposed, but say, let them laugh that wins, but however were our Brother Hall Martin here I would adventure upon a Catch, and make up the three men's Song. I. As I was going lately to take the air, I met him sneaking near Bloomsbury, for now he is altogether for a suburb●●● life, but he was very rich, for he had as many Ca●●nnckles about him as there are stars in th● Firmament in a frosty night, and more stinking Ulcers then ever poor Lazarus had but they stunk so much that the dogs refused to be charitable unto him and give them 〈◊〉 lick, He went into a Cook's shop and no Mea● would serve his appetite but a Rump py● unseasoned, for Pepper is a great Enemy ane vexation to men in his condition. T. I hear he intends to rally up a Regiment of Pickt-hatch Soldiers, and march with them into France, they will need no other Ammunition but what they have abou● them▪ for they are well enough furnished to destroy an Army, were it twice as great a● the Turks. I. Now for want of his company we will conclude our discourse, hoping to have it befor● next Sessions, than we may sing the three men's song together and take our leaves like loving Brothers one of another. Three merry boys, and three merry boys, and three merry boys are we, That ever did sing three parts in a string, under the Triple Tree. Finis. man (representing either Tichborne or Ireton) man (representing either Tichborne or Ireton)