THE Causes of the Diseases and Distempers of this kingdom, &c.  
WHen a learned and well experienced physician, hath eitherby the Pulse, urine, or other symptoms, found out the cause of the dangerous disease of his Patient, he will know or conjecture what is curable or past Cure: And as it is with the Body of Man, so in the Body politic of the kingdom, if the causes of our distempers and distractions would or could be known, they might with wisdom and judgement be removed and taken away, and then (by consequence) the Effects would cease. And though most men are either fools or physicians, (or 
a Some men are all these, some both of these, some one of these, and some neither.  both) yet few or none hath either found or showed the causes or reasons of these causeless and unreasonable disturbances. Amongst the many Thousands of oppressed sufferers in this our afflicted England, myself (though no physician, yet the Son of a chirurgeon) am one, that hath had a long time of many trials and experiments of Waters, and Water-Casting, and I have lately used my poor skill in Casting the kingdom's Water, and though physicians may often fail in their conjectures, yet 
b fools and Children will tell truth.  fools and Children will many times tell the Truth by chance.  
I have Cast the Waters of Thames, Isis', Seaverue, Weigh, Avon, Trent, Humber, Owse, Tweed, Forth, Tay, Spey, Annan, &c. and (as I guess) I have found out the true cause and causes, the needless why, the impertinent wherefore, and the accursed unknown for what, this former flourishing Kingdom is thus Rebelliously infected. And if I could as well Cure, as discover the diseases, my gracious sovereign and all his loyal Subjects and Servants, should quickly have their own again in Peace. But because England doth not know well what she ails, (though I cannot cure her) yet I will tell her how it is.  
The Members of this great Body do complain of the Head, saying, that from thence their grief began; the Head is troubled with too much aching, Cares, with extreme overwatchfullness for the preservation of the misguiding Members, and the misguided Body; The Members pretend the defence and maintenance of the known laws of the Kingdom.  
The King, (according to those established known laws) desires to Rule, and also requires the lawful obedience due to His Majesty by those laws, and no otherwise. And those at Westminster, cannot but acknowledge, but that they are all traitors that do refuse to live in obedience to the King and those known laws. But the Westminsterians do call all the Protestants, and all others that are obedient to those known laws, Malignants, and Popishly-affected; And without Law, (and against those laws) they Kill, Imprison, and Sequester all their Lands, Offices, and Estates. And those lawless men do not only commit this outrage against particulars, but even against the whole Body of the kingdom; for they have robbed it (violently) of the main Pillar, prop, and support of their Lives, Livelihoods and Fortunes, by taking away from them their Elections of their Knights, Citizens, and Burgesses; for they have turned all such out of the House of Commons, as would not join with them in this horrid Rebellion, 
c The Subject is robbed of his Right, and brought into slavery, when the Knights and Burgesses (whom they have elected, according to the laws) are expulsed out of the House of Commons, contrary to the Law.  when as (they being rightly elected and returned) by the Law they cannot put out any, but for some legal Cause, as being outlawed after Rebellion, or for being a Felon, murderer or traitor.  
But these traitors at Westminster, are so lawlessely impudent and insolent, that as they dare not (themselves) be tried by the known laws, so they will not permit those whom they falsely accuse to be Malignants, to be tried by those laws, but have kept some in Prison more than these three years, because they would not commit whoredom with the Beast at Westminster. Tush, these are trivial matters, above the reach of a sculler's 
d Nor would I have you believe, that I wrote this Pamphlet, but I do know myself able to scann all your Neckverses; if you have occasion to use me.  Capacity, 'tis known Mr Sergeant Wild will say, there are precedents, that the House of Commons have (as their wisdoms thought meet and convenient) put out some Members without any legal Cause showed. (the greater their fault in so doing.) 'Tis true, I have heard there was 
e This was one Mr Shepheard; and I would he had then obtained his desire: or I wish, that either mousetraps, or any other snare might catch them, or make them mend their manners.  one (not many years since) that one was put out for desiring some gin or Mousetrappe to catch Puritans, and that is one of your Westminster precedents. By as good reason, because some thieves and Robbers have not been hanged, therefore all may lawfully steal and none be hanged by that precedent; or because one of your Members got a Wench with child in his lodging, and was not punished for 
f Sir Edward Askew.  it, shall that be made a precedent for all others to get Bastards, or make Cuckolds?  
I do heartily desire, I might be permitted to join Issue with you, you have three judges with you, and it may be requisite (for an accommodation) that Mr Selden, and Mr Maynard, were made two more; (though they love their own quiet and their wealth too much) they are known to be learned in the laws. Those five might be joined to ours here, and every one of us and you, submit to their judgements, according to the known laws; And (by the laws) it will appear who are traitors, and who are honest 
g If you had dared to suffer your five famous Members to have been tried by the Law, we had had no wars.  men. But Mr Sergeant Wild, and learned Mr Miles Corbet, will that is not reason, for they have been enforced or necessitated to do many things contrary to the Law; the more Knaves and Rebels still.  
And shall we of the King's side, say more truly, there is neither Law or Reason to kill or imprison us, to take our Goods, Lands, and Offices from us, for the poor threadbare and unjust Reason, that you were necessitated.  
For the Turk doth not cover his Tyranny with Law or Reason, when he takes Goods or Life from a man, for he doth it by will and tyrannical power, even as you do now to us, for we do not know any injury that we have done you, or any faults we have committed against you, but that you make our obedience to the King, and our keeping of the laws, our great and capital 
h Our wealth is also a great part of our faults.  offences. We are all bound in Loyalty to His majesty, by the Law of God, by the laws of the Land, and by the Law of Nature, as our grand Parent. And for His preservation, and defence to keep you from killing and murdering Him, and all His loyal and faithful Subjects, we are now necessitated (according to those known laws) to oppose you, that are the opposers of all the laws of God and the kingdom.  
The causes of your Rebelling, and of the kingdom's miseries was the great necessity that you were in, and what (I pray you) was that great necessity? 
i These were the chief causes of the kingdom's diseases.  because some Lord (whom you pleased to have) might not be made Lord Treasurer, another High Admiral, and the Lord Say to be an Earl, and Lord Keeper of the Great seal▪ because some might not have the honour to be Ambassadors▪ one to be Chancellor to the Queen, another Master of the Rolls; and of the House of Commons, some to be Masters of Requests, Pym to be Chancellor of the Exchequer, Hambden Cofferer, in a word, some to be Secretaries to the King, Queen and Prince, or Gentlemen of the bedchamber to the King or Prince, and all Officers to be put out, and yourselves or your Creatures placed in their rooms; because this could not be granted, than you will have it by violence of Fire and Sword: And this was the great necessity you pretend and speak of. Because these things could not be obtained, you finding the multiplicity (and simplicity) of Sectaries, you have made execrable use of their repugnancy to our Church-Government established by Law; hoping that by your Cunning fishing in these troubled Waters, to gain your ends of ambition, profit, malice, and revenge, which doth now appear to all seeing men, to be the ground of this horrid Rebellious war.  
For first, to begin with the Church, what can you find there amiss, for Reformation, that you do not first condemn the Apostles themselves, and all the Catholic Church ever since; for is it possible you can persuade rational men, that the Government of the universal Church could be so suddenly changed from the Pr●sbyterian Government (which you strain to support) supposed, or seeming to you to be settled by the Apostles? Is it not mere madness to think, that the Government so settled of Bishops, should so quickly cast out the Presbytery, and that the said episcopal Function and dignity hath so continued these 1600 years, and not one Godly Christian in so long time to be found (no not one of note or Antiquity) until 
k A modern Patriarch, who brought Lay-Elders, and little ruffs in fashion in Scotland.  Mr John Knox his time? But more strange it appears to me, that in all other Reformed places, there is not that warmth, or fire of zeal, to be found anywhere but in Scotland only, that will kill and slay all the English, to make them obey their kirk (or rather Querke) Government, which is to pretend holiness and brotherly love, to cheat us of our Wealth, quiet, and Peace. I will not meddle or speak of Reformed Churches, God keep them in unity and Tranquillity; But because I have been in Scotland, and have seen somewhat, but have heard and Read much more, of their Querk and their ecclesiastical government, I will say this, that I cannot find any great difference between the Jesuit and them. The Jesuit would have the Pope only, to have all the spiritual and temporal powers of the World in him; And the Presbyterians, would be every one a several Pope. And this I will say, (and my opinion hath thousands to agree with it,) that it is more mild and tolerable, to live under the Spanish Inquisition, then under their Presbyterian Querke Authority and Tyranny, which (in a word) hatches Rebellion, seems and seeks sway and domination over their King, with all his loyal Subjects Lands and Riches, and this is truly, verily, and sincerely their only zeal.  
They may remember, that the reign of Queen Elizabeth and her royal favour, with the aid of the English Nation, should not ingratefully be forgotten; it is not many years since that they feared that the French made war in Scotland to settle the Romish Religion there; (which they then thought to be an unreasonable proceeding by Strangers) at which time they had recourse to the crown of England for their preservation, (which then relieved them,) and I have read in their Service-Book of their Church of Prayers, Thanks, and vows, that they would never be against the English crown, but spend their lives for the service thereof. And now behold the Perfidious and most abhorred ingratitude of these Monsters, their thankfulness is expressed in Killing and Ruining us, and taking our towns from us; But 
l Another modern Patriarch, who hath added short hair, & long ears to M Knoxe's Reformation.  Mr Henderson will say that the Scottish Nation (in thankfulness for that good turn) they come now (in good suith) to show their brotherly love, to deliver us from Popery. I must confess, that in your coming you showed a great deal of Affection to us, but you should have been better welcome if you had had so much manners, to have stayed till the King had sent for you. Besides your care for us is very much to be admired and Respected, that you took our danger of Popery into your good Considerations, when as neither the King or His counsel, nor any honest man in the whole Kingdom, neither could, can, or shall perceive any such an alteration or purpose. O but my Lord Lowden, and my Lord Say, and Mr Hambden, perceived it through the Perspective glass of their high Wisdome●and they sent for you; But was your Prayers and vows, made to my Lord Say, or Mr Hambden, or for, and to the crown of England; I know you will say it was not to the crown, but to the People that you owe your thankfulness (though it may be made good (by Record) that that vast expense for your deliverance, was merely from the crown, and then so acknowledged by Record (as may be proved.) But the Scriptures are now better understood by my Lord Lowden, and Mr Henderson, for now the People are above the King, for Kings and Emperors are but the Presbyterians 
m A fair and high Presbyterian promotion.  Curredoggs, to keep the wolf from their Flock, when they command them; And therefore (they say) they being called into England by the Parliament, they understand (in their politic Capacity) that they are called by the King, when God knows, the King had too many English rebels and Traitors to molest Him, His People and Kingdom, so that we had no occasion to send for strange rebels of another Nation to ruin us 
n I desire not to be mistaken, for I tax none but Rebels, either English or Scots, and it is known, that there are honest men and knaves in every Nation.  totally. I will say nothing by whose authority the Parliament is called, nor by whose Writ they meet, nor that there was ever any Act or Law made without the King's Confirmation, these things have been handled & discused by more Learned men than myself, I will have nothing to do with things that are so transcendent above my Reach. But I would gladly let you know, we are not Ignorant of your craft and subtlety, in seeming to make those few Members at Westminster to be the Parliament, because you and they have Covenanted to divide the spoil and Government of this Kingdom amongst you. For, first you know when you were on your Mattch with your Army, there were three times the number of Lords, wrote unto you from Oxford to disavow your calling in, than there were at Westminster to call you. Besides the promises therein made 
o The Lords promised to defend their laws and liberties from violation and alteration.  you, the which it is not unlikely but you may have cause to repent the not accepting. And for the Members of the Commons House, the World knows that the Major part were then at Oxford. But you will make walls and Stones to be the Houses of Parliament to serve your ends, even as the Westminster men do, to cover their Treason and Rebellion, cause and appoint their 
p Such as Mr ●●st, who over prophesied himself in pig at my Lord major's Table, which proved perfume in the afternoon to the Congregation at Saint Martin's.  Tub-Orators and pamphleteers, to inform the People that the King makes war against His Parliament, when (in truth) if they mean the Parliament, by the greater number of the Lords and Commons, the Parliament (in that sense) are either with the King or for the King.  
But the Authors and pursuers of this accursed war, are easily perceived and known. The King (as I told you) requires the Maintenance of the true Protestant Religion, and of the known laws and Liberties of his Subjects, and for these things He is opposed, (which is flat Treason) His life sought, and His Subjects and Kingdoms spoiled. But you do make this war because you would enforce the King to abolish Bishops, and take away all Deans and Chapters, and their Lands to be divided between you and your Covenanted Scottish Brethren; And for your better enabling you to sway and domineer over the King and His People, you will and must have the power of the Militia, or else you will kill the King, and all his faithful Subjects that shall defend Him. I have read the Chronicles of England, wherein I find Commotions, and Rebellions to cause the King to keep His laws, but this is the first Rebellion that I ever heard of, that will not only enforce the King to break His Coronation Oath made to His People, but will either kill Him, or compel Him to break His laws likewise; so that if the King would have been perjured for their pleasure, they would never have Rebelled against him, and indeed if they were not perjured in breaking their oaths of Allegiance, and infringing all the known laws, we had never been thus mischeivously perplexed.  
And if it be true, that the People do make Kings, (as your Apostle 
q The first Apostle, that ever left his ears twice for Libelling.  Prinne says) therefore they may unmake them if they please: then by the same Rule may we not say, we will have no more Knights, citizens, and Burgesses, for do not the People make them? yes Verily-truly, and Truly-verily.  
Therefore advise well of your business, that you are so madly troublesome about, if you begin to pull down Kings, I will assure you, we will have no Lords or Gentlemen amongst us; And in that (I am sure) we have the advantage (in number of People) there being more poor than Rich to take our parts; and we shall have as much Law, and more Reason for our justification, than you have for this Horrid Rebellion. I would fain preserve the wilful, the obstinate, the mislead, and seduced Londoners, or (as I may truly say) my Goatham, quondam friends, I will not yet call you Bedlams) I hope you may yet recover your crooked and crazed wits, before all be spent and lost, the which I heartily wish. I know some of you are Learned, I pray you recollect your Readings, and tell me (if you can) if you ever found laws or Government settled by the Sword (that so continued) or Justice, or Right, suppressed long without being restored; And therefore if you do still continue your disbursements in maintaining this Rebellion, you will have the curse of all England, as your being the causers of all our miseries, and consequently of your own undoing; for we all know, that if you do lock up your Purses, that we and you shall have Peace laid at our doors, 
r I desire the common people to be no more cozened out of their Estates and Lives.  By which means, we might have a free Parliament to stop all our Breaches, and build up the ruins which this unnatural war hath made, without which, we can expect no other but total confusion and desolation.  
The laws are the Touch, the Test, the rule and guide of all our lives and actions, the laws are terrible to none but thieves, murderers, traitors, and Rebels, every honest man and true Subject dares look the Law in the face boldly without fear; we dare you to be judged and ttyed by the 
s If the laws might decide the quarrel, we should quickly have a Close-Committee of Heads standing on the top of the two Houses.  laws, (as we dare.) Let no Sword, but the Sword of justice, decide the quarrel, and cut off the offenders.  
There are but two sorts of Enemies that are the Causers, and continuers of our Calamities, these only are the hinderers and opposers of our Peace. The one Cause is our sins, and the other the Rebels; they are the accursed Amalekites, that disturbs and stops us from our enjoying our happy rest. If we would reform the one, we should quickly tame the other; Therefore let all such as are averse to Peace, and delight in Theft and slaughter, know, that though the plundering Achan can filch a Wedge of Gold, yet there are stones to beat out the brains of such a thievish knave; Let the wise Achittofooles, (or accursed councillors to this Rebellion set their Houses in order and go hang themselves. The King is still the King, and (maugre all the malice of Hell and hellhounds) he is walled about with divine providence and protection; His gracious God, in whom he only trusts, will defend him, and arise and scatter his Enemies; though you have robbed our royal David of His Militia and military defences, yet there is a Sling in store, that with a pebble can make the greatest Goliahes grovel amongst you. Shamgar, shall not want a goad, Gedion a Pitcher, and every loyal soldier of the Kings, will be a Samson, to beat your brains out with your own Rebellious jawbones, that her bloody Issue (or Inundation) may be stopped by calm and gentle Peace.  
But if this afflicted Land hath such an unexpected and undeserved happiness stored up in the eternal treasury of gracious Providence, then happy and blessed are those men that are ordained to be the Instruments and means for a blessed Reconciliation and atonement, thrice happy may they be, and the fruition of blessings temporal and eternal be upon them and their Posteritie●; boast no more of the Spirit, but endeavour to embrace his Spirit, who pronounced the peacemakers blessed; and said whose Children they should be called. By which consequently it must follow, that the Peace-breakers are accursed of God, and also may justly be called the Children of their Father the devil. Leave off Triumphing and glorying in your mischievous Imaginations, give over Bragging and Vaunting of your villainous Victories, forbear to force your Christian Brethren to murder one another in so damnable a Cause as this unfellowed Rebellion.  
But if you will run further on, and fill up the measure of your Iniquities, with boasting of the success of your execrable designs, in the end you shall find, that to boast of wickedness is a degree beyond wickedness, and to be Ostentatious in ungodly actions, is the road way to double damnation.  
Before I conclude, I must propound a query, or ask you a question. You have promised, that if His Majesty would come and comply with you, that then you will make Him, a more Great, Rich, and glorious King than any of His Predecessors ever were. Now we would fain know, and we do all desire you to let us understand, how, which way, and by what means this greatness, Wealth and Glory may be by you conferred upon the King? if you will do us the favour as to send us your mind in writing, we will pay the bearer, and if we can perceive any probabiliti●s▪ that you can perform what you promised, we will be humble suppliants to His Majesty, to accept your kind offer: in the mean time, (before you make Him so Great and Rich as you talk of) I think it a very goodstep, to that greatness and State, if you will be pleased to give him his own again, which you have proditoriously and perfidiously taken, and do still detain from Him.  
Thus have I truly showed the Causes of the kingdom's griefs, to be at first a Melancholy madness, than it was hydropically pult up (in many places) with Ambition, Malice, Revenge, Avarice, Sects, schisms, and fantastical satanical Innovations and perturbations. I suppose that nothing can cure her but the Law well applied; to which I leave you and ourselves, and shut up all with a distich.  
O hapless England! 'tis thy only good,  
To Purge well, and give over letting Blood.   
FINIS.