portrait of (?) Christopher Love 
Mr. Christopher, Love Aetat 35 1652    

THE CERTAIN TRAVAILS of an uncertain JOURNEY, Begun on Tuesday the 9 of August, and ended on Saturday the 3. of September following, 1653.  
Wherein the Readers may take notice, that the Author's purpose was to Travel, and Writ this following Relation, for no other intent or purpose, but to pleasure himself, and to please his Friends in the first place.  
By JOHN TAYLOR, at the Sign of the Poet's Head, in Phoeniz Alley, near the Globe Tavern, in the middle of Long-Acre, nigh the Covent-Garden.  
Those twelve following lines I gave to divers Gentlemen and Friends, before I went, and as they have kindly subscribed to my Bill, I ●o humbly expect their courteous acceptation of this Book.   

A merry Bill of an uncertain Journey, to be performed by John Taylor, by Land, with his Aqua Musa.  

TO all my Friends, and courteous Gentlemen,  
Know, that my journey is, I know not when:  
Unto the parts I go, I know not where,  
Or of my entertainment far or near;  
Thus neither knowing when, or where, or whether,  
Begun, or done, or both ends brought together,  
When I this unknown Walk have put in print,  
Each man to's pocket, put your fingers in't,  
And, for my Book then give me what you list,  
To which end, to this Bill, take pen in fist,  
And write your names and habitations down,  
I'll find you when again I come to Town.    

The certainty of the uncertain Travels of John Taylor, performed in this year 1653.  

'tIs laudable to read well penned Relations  
Of foreign Countries, & their situations,  
That by the judgement of the eye & brain  
Some knowledge to discourse we may attain.  
For Histories, and learned Cosmographers,  
And diligent acute Geographers;  
One hath survay'd celestial lofty spheres,  
How all the Planets run in their carriers:  
The stars, the signs, and every influence  
In every Heavenly Orbs circumference,  
And were it not for high Astronomy  
(Whose lofty painful steps have scaled the sky)  
For times and seasons we might grope and seek,  
Not knowing years, or quarters, month, or week,  
Or hours, or minutes, nor the Sabbath day,  
Nor when to eat, or sleep, or debts to pay.  
Millions of people would this knowledge lack  
Except directed from the Almanac.  
Thus Art, (with pains and travel of the mind)  
Taught mean capacities, these things to find.  
He travels far that goes beyond the Moon,  
Or thinks this skill may be attained soon.  
Their overweening thoughts fly high and quick  
But such mad fools are only lunatic.  
Geographers have travelled land and seas  
Each coast, and opposite Antipodes;  
And the description of all lands and parts  
Described are, in several Maps and Charts.  
The Sun & Moon have seldom showed their faces  
On any Empire, Kingdom, place, or places,  
Which Travellers have not viewed and surveyed,  
And by rare Geographique Art displayed.  
By either sea or land, by night or day,  
Geography hath chalked us out the way:  
That with Maps, Compass, & indifferent weather  
True men or Thiefs may travel any whither.  
And thus through thick & thin, ways hard or soft,  
Thousand and thousand miles I travelled oft.  
Some men do travel in their contemplations,  
In reading Histories and strange Relations:  
Some few do travel in the ways Divine,  
Some wander wildly with the Muses nine;  
For every man would be a Poet gladly,  
Although he writ and Rhyme but badly madly.  
Sometimes the wits and tongues do, most unfit,  
Travel, when tongues do run before the wit.  
But if they both keep company together,  
Delight and profit is in both, or either.  
Discretion gravely goes a gentle pace,  
When speech, a gallop, runs a heedless race:  
Man's earthly portion 's travel, pain, and care,  
(Of which I make a shift to get my share.)  
Some do disdain, and hold it in high scorn  
To know thatched cottages where they were born  
Some cross the sea to see strange lands unknown  
And here, like strangers, do not know their own.  
Their own, 'tis fit work for a golden pen  
To write the names down of such knowing men:  
Should each on know & have his own, 'twere rare  
Right owners would be rich, & knaves stark bare.  
he's counted wise, with the Italians,  
That knows his own wife from another man's.  
But he's more wise that knows himself to be  
Frail, mortal, and a map of Misery.  
But wisest he, that patiented takes his lot,  
And use the world as if he used it not.  
Some seem to know most, yet know almost nothing,  
For man, in knowledge, is a very slow thing.  
Nosce teipsum, Know thyself, and then  
Each one will know himself the worst of men.  
Many of foreign travels boast and vaunt,  
When they, of England, are most ignorant.  
But yearly I survey my Country Native,  
And, mongst 6. cases, live upon the Dative.  
I travel hard, and for my life's supply,  
I every year receive a Subsidy.  
(Or else to come more near unto the sense)  
'Tis fit to call it a Benevolence.  
Thus (travelling) a toiling trade I drive,  
By reason of mine age, near seventy five:  
It is my earthly portion and my lot,  
(The Proverb says, Need makes the old wife troth.)  
Seven times at sea I served Elizabeth,  
And 2. Kings forty five years, until death  
Of both my Royal Masters quite bereft me,  
That nothing now but age and want is left me.  
This makes me travel, and my friends to try,  
Else I might (like my fellows) starve and die.  
Had the last State, had consciences so tender  
To think on Oxford siege, with that surrender,  
Had they kept Articles and Covenants,  
In some sort, than they had relieved our wants.  
But they were in the land of Promise borne,  
Performed, and paid us nothing, but their scorn.  
Camelion like we had Air, Words, and Wind,  
With these three empty dishes oft we dined.  
And with light Suppers, and such breaking Fast,  
With meager Famine, many breathed their last.  
we ne'er bore arms, but household servants menial  
We waited, if 'twere sin, it was but venial.  
These thirteen years no wages I could get,  
Which makes me thus to try my friends & wit.  
Unto the King's Revenues great Committee  
We oft Petitioned, and implored their pity;  
And first and last, we gave Petitions plenty,  
I'm sure, in number, near two hundred twenty.  
Two thousand Books & Bills then printed were,  
Wherein our woes and wants we did declare:  
Lord Fairfax was himself Lord General then,  
He pitied us (poor miserable men;)  
And he in person, more than one time went  
And told our griefs unto the Parliament.  
Besides, for us, to them he Letters wrote,  
For all which, only, promises we got.  
I will not curse those men, but this I say,  
If need and want afflict them, I do pray  
They may be comforted, and fed, and clad  
With promises, as we from them have had.   

TH' year sixteen hundred fifty, with 3. added,  
Old Tib my Mare, and I, a journey gadded:  
I London left, the 9 day I remember  
Of August, near 3. weeks before September.  
In 4. hours riding Post I got to Croyden,  
And so hath many a man, and many a boy done.  
There was the George a horseback day & night,  
And there I, from my mares back did alight.  
At Water there wine was, but that's a Riddle,  
At Croyden, you may know both ends & middle.  
To Micham, from my way full 3. miles wide,  
A Gentleman, I thank him, was my guide.  
Holland my sheets, and Holland was mine Host,  
My entertainment good for little cost,  
August the tenth, my bonny Beast and I,  
From Surrey travelled to South Saxony,  
Now called Sussex, where at Bellinshurst  
Six days I felt no hunger, cold, or thirst.  
There at a sign, and no sign but a Frame,  
'twas the King's arms, but shatering shot & flame  
Did beat them down, as useless, of small stead,  
For arms are of no use without a Head.  
Mine Host was mighty good, and great withal,  
And, amongst Hosts, may be a General.  
he's friendly, courteous, although big and burly,  
A right good fellow, no way proud or surly.  
Six nights at Bellinshurst I freely stayed,  
And all the charge of mare and man was paid  
By a Gentleman, to name whom I'll refrain,  
Whose love, my thankful mind shall still retain.  
Thus in one week I road Post 30. mile,  
And neither man or mare tired all that while.  
A Reverend Preacher preached on Sunday twice  
Directing souls to th' Heavenly Paradise.  
And if we could but do as he did say,  
His Doctrine told us all the ready way.  
Thus Billinshurst thy bounty I extol,  
Thou feastedst me in body and in soul.  
There was rare Music, sweet and gentile Airs,  
For undeserved favours, I am theirs.  
My love to Mr. Fist, and to mine Host,  
But love and thanks T. H. deserveth most.  
From Billinshurst, August the sixteenth day,  
I took my leave, before I took my way.  
The way indifferent good, the welk in smiles,  
I road to Petworth, 7. good Sussex miles.  
To set forth Petworth, its worth more worth is,  
Then I am worth, or worthy; but know this,  
Northumberland the Noble, there doth dwell,  
Whose good housekeeping, few Lord's parallel.  
There Honourable bounty is expressed,  
With daily charity to th' poor distressed.  
I speak not this for any thing I got  
Of that great Lord, I felt or saw him not:  
For had I seen him, my belief is such,  
I should have felt and found his bounties touch:  
But I, for my part, never was so rude  
To flatter, fawn, or basely to intrude,  
Yet I declare him liberal, Honourable,  
And there I dined well, at his Steward's Table.  
Thanks Mr. Williams there, the Cook exact  
By his good friendship there, I nothing lacked.  
Thanks to my Hostess kind, good Mrs. Martin,  
who welcomed me with good whit wine a quart in.  
And last of all, but not of all the least,  
I was kind Mr. Barnard's costly Guest:  
To me he showed his bounty from the Mint,  
For which I give him here my thanks in Print.  
He paid the chinque, and freely gave me drink,  
And I return my gratitude with Ink.  
August the 18. twelve long miles to Stenning  
I road, and nothing saw there worth the kenning,  
But that mine Host there was a jovial Wight,  
My Hostess fat and fair; a goodly sight:  
The sign the Chequer, eighteen pence to pay;  
My Mare eat mortal meat, good Oats and Hay.  
Twelve miles from Stenning I jogd on to Lewes,  
And there I found no Beggars, Scolds, or Shrews;  
Lewes hath no Bailiff, Mayor, or Magistrate,  
For every one there lives in quiet state:  
They quarrel not for wagging of a straw,  
For each man is unto himself a Law;  
They need no bridle (like the Horse or Mule)  
Where every one themselves can wisely rule.  
At the terrestrial Star (a glistering Sign)  
I lodged, and found good Diet, and good Wine;  
Mine Host and Hostess courteous, free, and kind,  
And there I siped and supped, but seldom dined:  
Lewes is an ancient Town, as may be seen  
In Cambden, page three hundred and thirteen:  
Twelve men they choose, the most substantiallest,  
Most rich and wise, to govern all the rest;  
And out of that discreet and honest dozen,  
Two (as it were) high Constables are chosen:  
These have no power themselves to hang or draw,  
Or on offenders to inflict the Law;  
But to a Justice of the Peace, or Coram  
They bring the parties, & their cause before am.  
From Friday unto Friday I did stay,  
But in the mean time I did take my way  
Five miles to Torring where my old friend there,  
The Parson welcomed me with Country cheer;  
His name is John, or honest Master Rice,  
Six meals he meated me, and lodged me thrice.  
He Preachd on Sunday, Augusts twenty one,  
Two Sermons, tending to salvation:  
His Doctrine's good, & he himself doth frame  
To live in conversation like the same.  
I thank him, and his Wife and Family,  
For making of so much (too much) of me:  
Thus when he could no longer me retain,  
With love and thanks, I road to Lewes again.  
This Town contains six Churches, and at least  
It is a mile in length from West to East:  
A strong and spacious Castle there hath been,  
As by its moldred ruins may be see●e.  
Thence 12 miles I was on my female beast born,  
T'an unknown feast born, at a Town called East Bourne;  
I at an Inn alighted, and found there  
Unlooked for welcome, and good Sussex cheer:  
Sir Thomas Dike, Sir Thomas Parker, Knights,  
With kind Esquires, whose names & Epithets  
I mention not, because I know them not;  
But to them all my thanks is unforgot,  
For undeserved, unlooked for, and unthought,  
From them my purse & person both were fraught;  
This was on Augusts twenty sixth, a Friday,  
Near Dog days end, a very fair and dry day.  
The next day, and the next I felt the bounty  
Of the high Sheriff of Sussex famous County;  
He entertained me Saturday and Sunday,  
And would have kept me 20 days past Monday.  
There was a high and mighty drink called Rug,  
Sure since the Reign of great King Gorbodug  
Was never such a rare infused confection,  
Injection, operation, and ejection,  
Are Hogen Mogen Rugs, great influences  
To provoke sleep, and stupefy the senses.  
No cold can ever pierce his flesh or skin  
Of him who is well lined with Rug within:  
Rug is a Lord beyond the Rules of Law;  
It conquers hunger in the greedy maw:  
And (in a word) of all the drinks potable,  
Rug is most puissant, potent, notable.  
Rug was the Capital Commander there,  
And his Lieutenant General was strong Beer.  
Wine plenteous both in Bottles and in flagons.  
whose strength would quell S. George & 20 dragons  
But Asshuerus Laws were there enrolled,  
No man was forced to drink more than he would.  
There was good Will, good Wills son, & good William  
As free as was the Emperor Maximilian:  
Beasts, fowls and fish, from earth, & sea & air  
Unto the Table, well Cooked, did repair,  
There were rare Birds I never saw before  
The like of them, I think to see no more:  
theyare called Wheat ears, less than Lark or Sparrow,  
Well roasted, in the mouth they taste like marrow.  
When once 'tis in the teeth it is involved,  
Bones, flesh, and all, is lushiously dissolved.  
The name of Wheat ears, on them is ycleap'd,  
Because they come when wheat is yearly reaped.  
Six weeks, or thereabouts, they are catched there,  
And are well-nigh 11. months, God knows where.  
My humble gratitude is here expressed  
To Mr. Sheriff, and his beloved best;  
His kindness joined with hers, and hers with his,  
Doth merit my unfeigned thankfulness.  
Unto my Cousin Thomas Taylor there  
My love remembered, and for my Samphiere  
He promised me, I thanked him thrice before,  
And when I have it, I will thank him more.  
Twelve miles on Augusts 9 and 20. day,  
From Bourne to Battle, 4. miles on my way  
At Pemsey doth a ruin'd Castle stand,  
And there the Norman Conqueror did land.  
Since his invading power arrived there,  
'Tis ●ow 500, 60, and 6. year.  
Eight miles from thence, the Battle fierce was struck  
Where blood of 70000, like a Brook,  
Or rather I may say like Sanguine Rivers  
Which down hills, it impetuously delivers  
Into the Vales: and where that blood was spilt  
The Conqueror caused an Abbey to be built  
Of stately structure, and what it hath been,  
By great extended ruins may be seen.  
When Norman forces England overcame,  
From bloody Battle, Battle had its name.  
This Abbey now is kept, by right and due,  
By the Honourable Viscount Montague.  
That Lord repaired some part magnificent,  
And there's good house kept, when he's resident.  
That noble Lord is, in account most famous,  
Though many miserable Lords do shame us.  
At th' Empereall crest, or Eagle spread,  
Myself and mare, were stabled, lodged and fed.  
About the reckoning I did not contend,  
My friend T. H. paid all, and there's an end.  
August the thirtieth, I road on to Hastings,  
Where was relief for men of several tastings,  
Or sundry palates, put them altogether,  
Or relished appetites, take all or neither.  
At Hastings I stayed not, but hastily  
I ambled 6. miles unto Winchelsey:  
Which hath been counted in the days of yore,  
(Until the seas contended with the shore)  
A famous sea Town, rich in merchandise,  
But buried in the Ocean now it lies.  
A Castle stands i'th' sands, enduring flaws,  
Gusts, tempests, storms, & times devouring jaws:  
In twice twelve hours, 'tis twice embraced round  
In th' arms of Neptune, seeming to be drowned:  
And when the floods are ebbed into the main,  
Three miles in sands 'tis compassed round again.  
In Winchelsey that now is I could ken  
Nothing worth observation of my pen.  
Two miles from thence, upon a hill, stands Rye,  
And there I, at the Star, did lodge and lie:  
More odds there is 'twixt singing songs and crying  
Then was betwixt my lodging, and my lying.  
I lodged by night, and I did lie by day,  
And as upon a bed I musing lay,  
The chamber hanged with painted cloth, I found  
Myself with sentences beleaguered round.  
There was Philosophy and History,  
Poetry Aenigmatick mystery.  
I know not what the Town in wealth may be,  
But sure, I on that chambers walls did see  
More wit than all the town had, and more worth  
Than my unlearned Muse can well set forth.  
I will not hold my Reader in dilemma,  
Thus truly, lying, I transcribed them a.   

NO flower so fresh, but frost may it deface,  
None fits so fast, but he may lose his place:  
'tis Concord keeps a Realm in Stable stay,  
But Discord brings all Kingdoms to decay.  
No Subject aught (for any kind of Cause)  
Resist his Prince, but yield him to the Laws.  
Sure God is just, whose stroke, delayed long,  
Doth light at last, with pain more sharp, and strong  
Time never was, nor ne'er I think shall be,  
That Truth (unshent) might speak, in all things free.   

This is the Sum, the Marrow and the Pith  
My lying Chamber was Adorned with:  
And 'tis supposed, those lines written there  
Have in that Room been, more than 40 year.  
Now, Reader take this notice more of Rye,  
'Tis worth Remembering, and I'll tell you why:  
If to unloade your Bellies, Nature drive ye,  
In all the Town you'se scarcely find a Privy.  
For as our Sectaries, in Tubbs preach here,  
They make (Sir Reverence) Reverend jakeses there,  
Of Pulpits of Profanity, and these  
When they are full, are emptied in the Seas.  
My fare was good at Rye, my Reckoning small,  
I thank my noble friend, that paid for all,  
Neete unto Rye, 2 dirty Ferryes be  
So Muddy, that they mir'de my Mare and me:  
I passed them, And on ultima Augusti,  
well meated, Mounted, man and beast both lusty;  
I crossed o'er Gulford ferry, and I went  
From Rye in Sussex unto Hide in Kent;  
Septembers first day, Sol, with golden eye  
Gilt Neptune with celestial Alcaymie:  
With sovereign splendour, kissing meadows green,  
And mantled hills tops were coruscant seen.  
When Phoebus mounted was in glorious pride,  
I mounted too, and road away from Hide.  
Still as I passed through sea Towns first and last,  
I did inquire how businesses had past.  
The people said that Guns did bounce & thump,  
Betwixt our English ships, and Dutch Van Trump.  
At Rumney, and at Hide, they were in sight,  
Foulkes heard the drums to beat, and saw the fight.  
Thus, little was the news from sea or shore,  
Our weekly News books will tell 3. times more.  
From Hide to Dover, and to Canterbury  
Full 25. miles, dirty, wet and weary,  
I took my lodging up, and down I lay  
Till Friday came, Septembers second day.  
Then with the Lamb I arose, and with the Lark  
I got to Gravesend when 'twas almost dark;  
But I mistake, from sleep I roused my head,  
And risen with th'Lark, but went with Lamb to bed.  
On th' way I was not vexed with Gates or Styles,  
But three and thirty dirty Kentish miles,  
With washing dashing ways, & rain well soused,  
It made my Mare and I glad to be housed:  
The sign was Welsh his piebald english Bull;  
I there was welcome empty, welcome full:  
But at the high and mighty Gravesend Whale,  
I found most potent admirable Ale,  
'Tis second to no drink, but East-Bourne Rug,  
Put it in Pot or Flagon, Can or Jug;  
You'll find it is the grand Ale, and you'll grant,  
That 'tis Ale Parramount, Predominant:  
'Twas given me by a Friend; but let him end  
With hanging, that loves Ale more than his friend  
From Gravesend (Satudray Septembers third)  
I road without sputs, as I had been spurred:  
I came to London when the Clock struck one;  
And so my Journey and my Book is DONE.   

Amongst the Muses where the number Nine is,  
The learned Poets end their Works with Finis:  
But when unlearned I have Volumes penned,  
Finis is Latin, English Done's a End.    

A POSTSCRIPT, Of some parts of SUSSEX and KENT that I Traveled, which I have borrowed out of Mr. SPEED.  

SUSSEX  
THE North part of this Shire confronts upon Surrey, and Kent: the West butteth upon Hamshire; and all the rest of the County lieth stretched along the British sea. The City of most account within this County is Chichester, a beautiful, and large Town; yet for the stateliness of buildings Lewes doth seem to contend with it, where William de Warron built a strong Castle, whereunto the Barons, in time of those civil brotles resorted in warlike manner, and fought a great Battle against their Sovereign and his son, wherein the King, Henry the third, had his horse slain under him; Richard King of the Romans the King's Brother was surprised, and taken in a Windmill; and Prince Edward (who was after that King Edward the first, or Longshanks) delivered unto them upon unequal terms of peace.  
Places of other note are these. Shore whence King Harold going upon the Sea for his pleasure in a small boat was driven upon the Coast of Normandy, where, by Duke William he was surprised, and retained, until he swore to make him King after Edward the Confessor his death. West-Wittering where Ella the Saxon Landed when he came to conquer those parts, and gave the name to the Shore from Cimen his Son. Finally Gromebridge where Charles Duke of Orleans father to Lewis the twelfth King of France, was long detained, being taken Prisoner at Agincourt. Yet I have been in the Castle of Starborough where I was showed the said Duke's Chamber, in Kent or the edge of Surrey.   

KENT.  
THis is the first Province that appeareth in the South of this Kingdom, and is bounded upon the North with the famous River Thamisis: on the East with the Germane sea, and Ocean: on the south with Sussex and the narrow seas: and upon the West with Sussex and Surrey.  
The chiefest City within this County is Canterbury which became famous, both for the conversion of the Saxons by St. Augustine, whereof eight of their Kings were there interred; as also was Thomas Becket Archbishop of Canterbury.  
The invincible Castle of Dover is a place of the greatest strength not only of this County, but of the whole Kingdom, being the Key of the Realm; and as john Rosse, and Lidgate affirm, was built by Julius Cesar. The chiefest and only thing of admiration in this shire is a hole at Mottingame eight yards about, and a line of fifty sadomes plummed into it, doth find no bottom, where suddenly the ground sunk, and three great Elms therein growing, were swallowed up into the earth. This shire claimeth the preeminence of Christianity before all places of England: for Lucius the first Christian British King in this Jland, built a Church within the Castle of Dover.  
There is no other memory or token of the great Battle, which was fought at Ailesford, between Hengist the ambitious Saxon, and Vortimer the valiant Britain, wherein Horsa, and Catigern, brethren to both Generals were slain, than a monument of Catigern, which is nothing else but four stones pitched in the manner of the Stone hinge, on Salisbury Plaine, and is vulgarly called Ciscoatehouse which is upon the plain there.  
England's Kings have had two seats in this County, wherein they were went to make some abode, in the Summer time: the one for their Court which is Greenwich, the other for their pleasure, which is Eltham, very convenient for pastimes, and game for hunting.  
There is also a place in this Shire called Tunbridge whither there is great concourse of infirms people, who find present remedy for their maladies, by virtue of some Wells lately found out, which prove very so●eraigne.    

To all my Friends that have subscribed their Names and dwellings to my Bill.  

ACcording as you pay, or pay me not;  
So is my lucky or unlucky Lot:  
I have made use of many friends before  
Age tells me now I shall do so no more.  
Some friends I have, and some small share of wit,  
And want hath forced me to use them, and it.  
I, in my best of wishes will include  
Their kindness, and my humble gratitude.   
FINIS.