THE LIAR.  
OR, A contradiction to those who in the titles of their Books affirmed them to be true, when they were false: although mine are all true, yet I term them lies.  Veritas veritatis. 
The Liar racked.   depiction of a victim on a punitive positioning device 
Printed in the year 1641.   

A Book of Lies.  
THere was an Englishman which traveled to the Swedish army, and began to relate very strange passages which he had seen here in England, thinking that travellers mightily by authority; for said he, in the County of Berke, at a place called Abingdon, when the Earl of Strafford lost his head, was such thundering and lightning, and earthquakes, that it is almost incredible. Surely I think it is incredible indeed, for I know 'tis no such matter.  
He told too that the very same day that my L. Archbishop of Canterbury was committed to the Tower, there was a child born in the County of Somerset with a Mitre on its head, a mark on his breast like a Crucifix, and many other strange things which were there seen.  
Another time, said he, I saw a Lady go over Thames at London stark naked, without swimming, for she cannot be drowned, ergo she is a witch.  
Item, he related unto them that the Bishop of Canterbury was little better than a Papist, and that he was committed for that occasion to the Tower, and that he was not like to be freed from thence till he came with his heels forward.  
Item, he reported that Q. M. was to leave the fragrant soil of England, and go into Italy.  
Item, he related that Sucklin, Davenant, and Percy were accused as traitors, and fearing to be hanged, fled for it beyond the Seas, because they would not be chid.  
Item, he told them that Wrens nest was defiled, and that the Jesuits and Friars had almost wept their eyes out for his fall.  
Item, all the Brownists and Anabaptists, and the like, of what age soever, that shall come to be baptised, may have a twenty shilling piece laid on his forehead, as soon as the Minister shall have figned him with the sign of the Cross.  
Item, There is a book come out of the King's entertainment in Scotland some certain days before he came there.  
Item, he swore that he never did tell a lie in all his life.  
Item, he vowed most deeply that the Scots were as many in number as the stars in the sky.  
Item, he told that the Turk and the Jew were as good friends as ever was friend to friend.  
Item, he most falsely protested that he suffered as much in Hungary of famine as ever did Germany in all its wars.  
Item, he vowed that our Bishops did bend like green sticks, and therefore he thought that they would never break, and that they were all bowers to the Altar, and Papists, for they loved Images extraordinarily.  
Item, he told a most notable lie, that Lawyers in England did scorn to take any fees for pleading any cause: then said one, How do they live? he answered, like Chameleons, they feed upon the air, and  themselves with honesty, which is the warmest weed they can wear in these times.  
Item, he swore that any man might steal any thing now in England, and never be shent for it, for all the judges are hanged because they have taken bribes.  
Item, he protested that Gregory the Hangman is grown very rich, because none are hanged.  
Item, he vowed he saw St. Paul's steeple stand in its own place where it was built, and Charing cross quite ruinated.  
Item, he told that there were a great many Puritans in England, and that they did now so disturb the quietness of the Commonwealth, that it was now almost turned topsie turvy.  
Item, he protested that all the women in England were grown precise, and turned Preachers.  
Item, he told them that it was as common a thing for Sowgelder's, Tinkers, Feltmakers, Buttonmakers, Weavers, and Cobblers, to preach in a tub, a joined stool, or such like thing, as for a man to drink when he is thirsty.  
They heard him with patience till he had made an end of his lying, and then they asked him whether yea or nay he saw these things he spoke of, he presently swore all the oathts of God that he saw these things with his own natural eyes, which he had reported, and he would maintain it, though he spent his dearest blood in the doing of it; well they heard his protestations, and made a full account that they would prove his constancy whether he would be a Martyr yea or nay, in the mean time they horsed him, and this was the manner of it.  
There was a great high thing raised to the height of twelve of fourteen yards, made of Iron, whereon he was seated, with two great weights on his toes, and the like on his hands where he sat in great pain, if he should chance to case himself upwards, there were sharp nails over his head which would prick him, thus he sat, and thus he suffered, till they had sufficiently made a laughing stock of him; well when he had suffered enough they let him down, and incontinently he came bacl again into this country, where he related as followeth.  
The Emperor (saith he) hath given such an overthrow to the Sweeds that I thought not one would have returned again; the Canons roared, the skies were dimmed with smoke, and the earth shaken with an earthquake; another time, the Swedes gave the Emperor such an overthrow, that I dare say he will never rise again, which made the Pope proclaim a fast for six and thenty weeks, but a pox choke them they eate fish a little too much.  
A little after there was a comet seen in the air, forth the space of two months, with great thundering and lightnings and such like, which made all the whole Country amazed.  
These and such like things he related till he made the weary ears of honest men glow, and if they had served him as he was served before he had had his desert, and hang him that would pity him for me, but in conceit either in the stocks, cage, counter, or Bridewell I leave him.  
Gentle reader, I have heerre related under the name of lies nothing but trut tales, for if a man doth now speak truth he shall be sure to smart for it now a days, either here or in other places; read gently, and buy willingly.   
FINIS.