john Tailor's MANIFESTATION, AND JUST VINDICATION Against JOSVA CHURCH HIS Exclamation, WITH A TRUE RELATION OF Church his Generation, with his foul Combination, with a pretence of Reformation, of his wronged Occupation, hath brought all out of Fashion.  
LONDON Printed by john Hammond. 1642.   

john Tailor's Manifestation AND lust Vindication against josua Church his Exclamation, with a true Relation of Church his Generation, with his foul Combination, with pretence of Reformation, of his wronged Ocupation, hath brought all out of Fashion.  
MAster Church (for I can give you no less stile) although I have ever hated to dip my pen in filth, and mud: for the Proverb says, that whosoever wrestles with a sir Reverence, that whether he give or take the fall, he shall be sure to foul his fingers; but the general, many and mighty wrongs done by you Mr. Church, and your associates, whom you have seduced against the government of the Watermen, established by Acts of Parliament these 86 years: and Orders also made, approved and confirmed by the Rulers and Assistants of the Watermen, by the Lord Mayor of London, and Court of Aldermen, and by the Lords of the Right Honourable privy Council, to five great Kings and Queens (videlicet) to King Philip, Queen Marry, Queen Elizabeth, King james, and K. Charles, all these Laws & Orders have been long withstood and opposed by you, and others whom you have misled, as shall be plainly proved by that which followeth. But first I will describe your person (and part of your invisible good qualities) and then I will proceed to your manner of Resormation.  
First, it is well known, that you have over lied a constant course of life, you have from your beginning shown yourself your mother's son; and as you have her Baboon Monkeyfied visage, so she lest you a large portion of curse imprecations, and some wicked oaths (of which rare parts she was well stored) and you have improved them so well, that you did dare to lend an oath against me at a trial ten years passed in Guildhall; and had I not been entreated by the Lord Mayor, I had gone near to have made a match betwixt the pillory and your ears; and though your malice prevation not then (for the cause went on my side) yet your spite is of that lasting metal, that it hath first and last continued these 18. years. But a word or two more of your mother is not unsuitable.  
It is further known, that in her widowhood you were bound Apprentice to her, and for the true deserving of your freedom, you oftentimes spent what you got, allowing her little or nothing, you most commonly mistaking the way, gave your get to the Alehouse instead of your mother; by which service of yours, she was beggared, and glad to take the Alms of the Waterman's Hall towards her relief: your lodging was the most fitting for you in those days; for it was many times in the cold Winter at Summers' Key in a dung hot, where you battned in the warm dung; and from the dung you had the name of Vermin, which name you have to this day. For your Summer's recreation your lodging was under a Crane at the Customhouse; and in these kind of courses you came to be a Waterman.  
After your freedom, your mother hath many times asked you blessing upon her knees, most pitifully begging two tokens of you; which you uncharitably denying, she (well knowing you) would call you damned Rogue, and give you her blessing the clean contrary way.  
After this your hebaviour was so meritorious, that upon complaints and proofs to our Hall myself with my brethren being Masters of the Company) have divers times by fines and imprisonments justly punished you both in body and purse, although your demerits have deserved a courtesy often times more to be inflicted upon you. For these do of mine, and other of our Rulers, Mr. Church hath been angry these eighteen years, and (to keep your anger still in motion) the Covernours or Rulers have rubbed up your memory, either with a reproof, a fine, or a jail, which you have deserved as due wages for your good conditions: And for these things you bear us bitter malice. It was once my fortune to see a Dog hanged that had one quality very like a foolish trick which you have, which was, that if a man had cast or hurled a stone at him, the Cur wound run and by't the said stone, and not meddle at all with the party that threw it: So you (Mr. Vermin) when you have been a little touched for your Rogury, and for your debauched abuses, than you snarl, snap, by't and backbite us that are the doers of justice; but you never remember that your base misdemeanour which was the cause that cast these grievances upon you.  
In revenge of these parts of justice you have (for many years) practised to overthrow all order, rule and government, you did eleven years past, raise many hundreds of Watermen in a combination for that wicked intent; yet all your knavery was covered with a cloak of Reformation: there you taxed me and all my brethren, with bribery, corruption, and many vile abuses, which the Lord Mayor then (being Sir Robert Duty) with the Court of Aldermen, did put to the examination of a Committee; which Committee did make report to the said Court, that we the Rulers were clear of those scandals, and that all your prating was but lies and slanders; by which means we were free from your malice, till within these two year. In which time you have bestirred yourself as if the Devil were in you, having made a strong combination with many thousands of watermen, persuading them not to obey the Rulers, nor to come to their Hall upon their being warned thither for any wrongs which they shall commit: You have boasted that it was now Parliament time, and therefore you may do what you list; and when the Master of his Majesty's Barge told you, that if we did him or any other Waterman injury, that upon complaint made of it to the Lord Moior and proofs made of it, that then the Lord Maior had power to right him or them, and severely to punish us To which you answered, that the Lord Maior was your slave, and that you would have the government shortly out of his hands. You at (another time) pointed with your finger to our Hall, and called it a Rooks Nest, and that you had one hand in the Nest already, and that shortly you would pluck all the Rooks out: And we have since that time been three several times assaulted in our Hall, so that we have at every of those times been forced to call the Constables to defend us from violence, and the Constables will certify that we have been abused.  
You Mr. (Church) came lately into our Hall, and in a pilfering manner you took close up out of an out of an outward Room, a Table of Orders that hanged there, by the Lord Mayor's command, that watermens might read and hear how they should be governed: for the which fact I had you with a warrant before a justice, who would not bind you over to the Assizes, because you Bald and lied to him, that our grieunnces were to be heard by a Committee in Parliament, within fourteen days after. I am sure you lied then: for it was much about Alholowtide and we have no hearing yet, I would to God we had.  
You and your Consorts have vowed to have me hanged, and Goodale swore he would have my heart in his hand, and shake it, and one Matthew Burton, because he could not hang me, he went and hanged himself upon a Sunday morning, being the first of August last; but by chance his wise and others came timely and cut him down; that being the first Sunday that he made Holiday: for he did formerly use to work on all other Sabbaths. Another that served but 4 years' Apprenticeship in all, for before 7. years were expired, he had two wives, he for preferment (hoping to be Mastor of the Queen's Barge) turned Recusant, and failing of his hopes, remains an ordinary waterman; and he said lately, that there would be Roman Catholics enough left as might drink a health to all our confusions; or else that there would be Irish enough to cut all our throats. These (and some other like these) are your Associates to reform abuses; but you being their Leader, do verify the old Proverb, that it is a sweet Procession where the Devil carries the Cross. You framed fifty Articles against us in Parliament, which upon hearing, I doubt not but will gain you your reward, for alleging so many lies against us in so honourable an Assembly.  
By your do and Rebellious courses you have made the Thames a wilderness: for there is neither command nor obedience; but you have done reasonable well for yourself, in collecting monies from many hundreds of watermen, promising them wondrous businesses to be done; and with that monies you have well repaired yourself with gold Buttons and Loops (if the suit be not pawned) but I wish that your Painter that can play the Kinde-Coale solicitor so well, I would have him (or some other) to paint your comely Effigies in that suit, and hang it up for the picture of Ill luck.  
You did do your best the other day to draw me into as much danger as you deserved, by averring that I spoke most wicked abusive words against some Parliament men; I would have you know (Mr. Vermin) that I was never such a Knave to speak such (or any bad words) to any private friend, where I thought my counsel would be kept. But I were a Villain, a Knave and a Fool, if I would have said any thing before you and your Comrogues, whom I knew to be my mortal enemies, and such as would spread my words ten times broader than my meaning.  
You have brought the River to that pass, that watermen do ply how and where they list, that they abuse Fares, and exact upon them, that they fight, brawl, rail, revile, throw stones and Brickbats, and for all this, there is no punishment: for you have told them that it is Parliament time.  
For these sweet behaviours of yours you deserve to be Knighted with a wooden Dagger, to be made Knight of the Post (or whipped at a Post) and I doubt nor but all the watermen whom you have misled, and taken their monies, will shortly day, that they have (by your persuasion) had a bad opinion of me and the rest of my brethren, and assure yourself, I fear you not, nor do I hate any of you all; and whosoever he be that either fears or hates you, must needs be guilty of some foul thing, which you charge him with. We have all too many faults, and he that desires not amendment, let the Devil have him: if you or any man can justly tax me, beshrew you, if you spare me: therefore Jadvise you, Mr. Church, not to despair because you have fold your Two Wise Acres of Thistleground, for when all trades fail, you may serve for a witness for any man's love or money, or else, if I do grow rich (as it is not impossible) I will entertain you to be my fool, and all this, Mr. Church, I hope, is no Scandalla Magnatum.  
I know you are a merry fellow, for you had lately a Piper, a Fuller, you lacked but your Trumpeter at the Blackfriers, good Sack and Tobacco at a Tavern in New-Fish-streete, where you sung Old Rose, or John Dory, and cried hay the generality pays for all.  
And now to tell you a few words in sober sadness, me thinks you should know that I am not so bad as to be your Companion or to be thus abused by you, I have served seven times at sea in Queen Elizabeth's service, I have been a servant in in ordinary to King james & King Charles 27 years, I have been Ruler of my company 8 several years, I have borne offices, and paid Subsidies, and all duties these 40. years, I have written 220. Books, wherein I have pleased both Kings, Princes, Peers and Commons (for I have neither written profanely, or obscenely, nor have I any hand at all in those Roguish Hellish Lies and libels that flutters daily about the streets; And therefore (Mr. Church) you that do hardly pay one half penny a week to the poor, and never had any other office but a Box-keeper at the Temple, to the Gamesters in Christmas time; methinks you should have more manners than to abuse me thus without a cause, as you have done; and a little more discretion then to think your testimony or witness can stand against me; or you in any degree to be my companion.  
With all these virtues of yours, you do now seek and strive to be a Ruler or Governor of the Watermen's Company, for you would have 8. honest men to be sworn (I doubt not but you mean yourself for one; but most (Worthy Sir) you must learn first how to obey, before you will know how to rule, and it is a plain case, that if 8. such fellows as you were sworn Rulers, we were like to have a mad government: for you have brought the River into that disorder, that whereas the Parliament with exceeding pains and charge, have sat long, whom (with the King, God continue in unity) these Worthies I say, sitting late about the great affairs of the Church and Kingdom, their Coaches that waited on them, have had their Ax●ltree pin's stolen out by Watermen, on purpose to make the Gentlemen go by water, or else if they went by Coach, the Wheels might flee off to the endangering of those that were in it; such Villainy was never used till you overthrew our Government.  
You tax us, that we give no account for all the moneys that we receive at our Hall, either for Fines, or Quarterage, or any thing else. Indeed we have been forgetful to make account to you or your Companions: but when occasion shall serve, we will show your betters Books of account, of 40 year's continuance, with our Auditors hands at them, for the troth is, we neither Receive nor disburse any moneys, but upon oath we account for it yearly.  
You say that we have 5 or 6 servants apiece, and when that a press is for men to serve the King at sea, than we do spare our own men, and press others, and that we do press the most Religious and honest men; to which Lie I must answer, that I do not know any Watermen, that hath three men and though the company be in Number 4000 at least, yet there are not above 50 of that number, that have Two men apiece, and the most of them are Ancient Watermen, and past their labour, and some of them not their servants do never carry any passenger, but work in Lighters to carry Coals and other goods: for mine own part, I have but one servant, and if a press do come, I had Rather he should go then stay at home, although I am sure that I do never trouble any one of you to carry a ●●re from you.  
You likewise scandal me, with the Company, with a press for men that went into Germany 10 years ago, you slander me with buying and selling of men there, but the troth is, we were not Authors of that press, nor had we power to deny the warrants which we have to show, and as for any buying or selling, or any corruption that way, or any other, I Pray you take my word, I do but laugh at your foolery.  
I would wish as many of the generality as do desire to be more gulled than they are, to gather more money, for you are lately fallen most wickedly out of reparations; and now you and some of your leading crew, seeing their cause is bad, they and you do patch it up with railing and reviling. And so I take leave of you as you are, overwhelmed with ignorance and malice.  
Your mischievous malice was apparently seen on Thursday last the third of February 1641, For you knew that the Rulers of our Company were warned that day to appear before the Lord Mayor and Court of Aldermen (upon your complaint) and you knew further, that I being Clerk of the Company, was to be the only man to speak and show writings in our defence against your slanders.  
Then (Mr. Church) with a trick that you had, you went or sent for a Deputy to a Sergeant at Arms, to attach me and bring me before an Honourable Committee of the House of Commons. This you did on purpose to take me off suddenly, because our Company should be unprovided to oppose your lies and slanders: But all your knavery would not serve; for I had that favour to stay and do my service, and afterwards I went before the Commit, whom I found to be Gentlemen of such wisdom and gravity, that I conceive that but little credit was given to your testimony: for if any bad speeches had proceeded from me, you ought not to have concealed such things three weeks and more.  
But you (in a triumphing manner) made haste towards the Thames, and told some Watermens, that you had laid me fast, and that I was in layie, and to be hanged the next Monday, and that I was at twenty shillings charge every day to a Messenger.  
All this, and a great deal more, you have done to uphold your c … with such men as have been deceived by your trolling tongue; but I 〈◊〉 that shortly you shall be known what you are: For there is not any thing that I have said or done in my life, to make me fear you or any others by your persuasions.   

The Postscript.  
IN imitation of your great Master (the Devil) you, with some others, did on wednesday last (before a right worshipful Committee) at the Guild-Hall, London, with most odious lies and clamours, abuse and accuse myself and all others that ever have been Rulers, and so with noise and multitude you did your best and worst to drown all our just defences. But that Committee (I know) in their grave wisdoms, will consider of what myself with my Brethren and you are; to whose report I with all honest men do humbly submit; but you with some others made haste to the Thames side, and at divers places you did brag, that you had cast the Masters and old Assistants out from all manner of further government: And in so saying, you shown yourself a boasting, lying Rogue.  
Indeed you have gulled so many men of their monies, that (to dawb up your ragged credit) you must stop their mouths with somewhat, either bragging or lying; wherein the King himself hath not escaped your jeering malice: for you in a scoffing manner, say (on Sunday last, Februry 6. in an Alehouse, that if the King did stay but a little longer at Windsor, that they would make him Mayor of the Town. Such a kind of sauciness hath sometimes very well deserved a whip; to which I leave you, Mr. Vermin.   
FINIS.