A THAKNS-GIVING For the Recovery of PHILIP, EARL OF PEMBROKE and Montgomery.  
Who being lately admitted into the Supreme Authority of the Nation▪ a Knight for Berkshire; was unfortunately jeered into a Pestilent-Feaver, which after turned to the Foul Disease, but by the skill of a State-Emperick and Mrs. May his Nurse, is happily Recovered:  
And desires a Thanksgiving for the same, from the Supreme Authority, and all other Well-affected to the Nation.  
Taken verbatim from his own mouth,  
BY MICHAEL OLDSWORTH.  
May 29 Printed in the happy year of the Lords Liberty. 1649.   

A  For the Recovery of PHILIP, EARL OF PEMBROKE and Montgomery.  
THey tax me with swearing; Dam, 'tis a scurvy trick that I learned in King james time, 'zbloud I cannot leave it if I should be hanged; If I have not strived as much to leave this sin as any Member in the House, I am a Traitor; Refuse me I have not only sworn, but forsworn myself over and over again, and yet they say I am a coustant swearer, confound me if I love Oaths, or to keep Oaths, let them keep them that make Conscience of them: A pox of Conscience for me, I know not what it is, large Conscience, and little Conscience is all one to me; 'zbloud my Lord Capel used Conscience, and the late King suffered for His Conscience: No, no, 'tis just they should suffer that are so Malignant as to keep any scruple of it: i'll have a care of that i'll warrant you: though I am a Fool, I am not a Conscientious fool, if I am let me suffer: ' blood I think I have suffered as much as any man living for my time: I have suffered switching, Caining, jeering, and now sickness, and yet am thought by the people to be never a whitt the better for my sufferings; Damn I may be the better in time, for worse I think I cannot be, and therefore I desire all people to pray for me; yet I thank God I am amended over I was: these rogues are able to jeer a horse to death, and you know a horse hath a bigger head, and is a bigger beast every way than I am, and hath more brains and strength to bear it: Damn if I suffer them any longer, let them briddle me, and saddle me, and ride me for a fool: I have had too much patience, and I think that caused sickness, for I was damnable impatient in my sickness, and so I purpose to be unto my dying day: can any man be patiented to suffer himself to be so abused, and cannot tell how to help himself? If the State will suffer it, let them, the wrong is theirs as well as mine; I am the ancientest Earl in the Parliament, and should be their Head: and if they will suffer every fool to make a Football of their Head, 'tis pity but they should be a Body without a Head: Damn 'tis a monstrous thing to be without a head, or a head-piece either; a head-piece will keep off a blow, I am sure I found the miss of it; a pox take the Scot, he bruised my head and my bones too: and said moreover, he would crown it with a Pisspot; but his head doth not ache for that now.  
They say he that is called the Prince of WALES is providing headpieces in Holland, and if they suffer me to be still jeered and derided, I know nothing to the contrary, but they may be knocked o'th' head themselves before next year yet: I am an Old man, and 'tis time for me to give over fight: Damn me, I never drew a sword in anger in my life, and should be loath to begin now in my Old days: but if they will fight let them; I never knew any good come by fight, I am sure it hath done hurt on either side, and yet we love it so well with a pox, that we must fight aghast our own Party too; ' z blood, are we mad to kill ourselves? 'tis Murder by the Law; and in my judgement he that kills himself deserves to be hanged, and not shot to death as they are: Damn me, I know Death is terrible, but yet not so terrible as to fright us into WAR that brings Death; and War one with another too, like two Dogs to fight for a Bone, till a third comes and runs away with it: I am bound in Conscience to speak my mind, and yet it had been better for me to have been born dumb, then ever to have spoke at all: for let me speak but two words, presently it begets a SPEECH, and then there is laughing work for the whole City for a month: Nay, my own Tenants get my Speeches by rote, and report them on their Alebenches, and swear with as great a grace as myself.  
My Lord Mulgrave, you are a man that I dare open myself too: Damn me, would I could open as loud as Thunder— My Lord the Parliament is become Common, and that makes it Common, and every thing they do is made Common; and all their Speeches, Acts, Declarations, and Protestations, are but as so many Lasts for the Cavaliers to make Shoes on: we must have Diurnals, Scouts, Occurrences, and the Devil and all, for them to make jeers on; 'zbloud I am not such a fool, but I can tell from whence all this proceeds— A Member cannot let a Fart in the House, but presently he finds it wrapped up in two sheets of a Diurnal: I pity other men as well as myself; My Lord, here is the Worshipful Alderman Atkins is sensible my Lord, and hath formerly made Complaint to me in the Lord's House, but (Lord help us) to little purpose: for an unmannerly fellow cannot so much as let a Fart, but presently he cries Atkins.  
My Lord Mulgrave, it is a stinking shame that our Members should be thus abused; I hope my Lord you will move the House for a speedy Redress in this— Had I died my Lord, sink me, I am Mortal, flesh and blood, gra●s and hay, as another man is, and so subject to die; A pox take 'em, they made my Will and Testament, and my Epitaph too, thinking I had been Mortus est (as my Chaplain saith) and then I had had a sweet Fame, had I not? for ever and ever to be sung up and down in Ballads, to the tune of the Great Boobee: My Lord, 'tis all your cases as well as mine— But (blessed be God) I am alive, and may live to see them all hanged that are the occasioners of this— Damn me, I never gave them occasion to be thus abused: but I am such a fool, as I can forget an injury presently; nay, and forgive too; but I can neither forget nor forgive this: My Lord, we must look after the occasioners of this, for take away the occasions, and the effects will cease of themselves: if the Diurnals had occasioned my death, 'zbloud I have reason to kill them if I can: and yet I was never much guilty of shedding Blood in my life; I had rather swear blood a thousand times then shed blood once my Lord: innocent blood would trouble a Parliament man's Conscience, if he had any; but this is no time for a Parliament man to have Conscience: 'zbloud I swore away mine above 40 years ago, and I hope there is not a Member in the House but hath sworn away his too, or else he is forsworn: Besides, we being the Supreme Authority in th● Nation, and invested with Power and Authority from the peoeple, to be questioned upon Cas●s of Conscience, or rules of Reason for what we do? My Lord, the State needs not to render a reason to any one, either to Lilburne or any body else; and if they will not be ruled without reason, the State must rule them by force; D●mme (my Lord) force is above reason, for doth not our power lie in our force●: had it not been for our forces, would reason have saved us from hanging think ye? This Nation must be ruled by force, and not reason, Dam, reason has brought the Land to that pass that it is, for can a mischief happen without there be some reason for it? Dam, I know no difference between reason and treason; if the State please to make any thing treason, then Sink me 'tis treason, and let him dispute against it that dares; No, reason is one of the Levellers Principles, and not to be allowed of in a free State, if the rest were of my mind, we would Vote any man a Traitor that could but render half a reason; for I take it to be a contempt of a high nature against out Authority, and so a crime unpardonable: Dam, I banished it out of the University of Oxford, and my Lord General hath since taken Degrees there, with the Lieutenant General, and divers other Gentlemen that understand as little reason as myself: Dam, it reviveth my drooping sick soul to hear that they are become Members of All-soules, and be God, for aught I know, it may prove a means of saving their souls: Damn, I am their Chancellor, and would have Visited them there, but that (a Pox on't) I was Visited myself; Judge me, they have honoured me, and (i● I had been well) I would have honoured them again with my presence; but I hope Mr. Button did it for me, he is the better Orator of the two, or else he is not worth a Button: Had I not been ill, all the men in the world could not have kept me from a Banquet, I loved sweetmeats from a child, and now I am almost become a Child again, for old men be twice children, and Children are loving, and love sweet things; and be God I think it is a sweet thing for Brethren to agree, and Banquet together in unity.  
The University I hope gave them good content, and Mr. Mandit and Mr. Wil●ison made them two good Sermons to save their souls; they were soldiers, and soldiers have souls to save as well as others, and if they will lose their souls they may; and yet 'tis their own fault if they do, because they are members of All-souls, can fight for souls, and preach to save souls too; and now (being University-men,) they may do it lawfully too, without the mocks and flouts of the Reprobate Cavees, who profanely term them Tub-men, Anabaptists, jesuites, etc. Damn I was never much Book-learned, because I took Hunting to be a more Noble exercise then learning; is it not better music to hear a Pack of Dog's mouth it, than a company of Scholars gambling the language of the Beast in an unknown tongue; No, I am no Scholar, but a Statesman; and good Statesmen cannot make good Scholars, you my see by Canterbery and Strafford, both good Scholars, but ill Statesemen, and you may see what their learning brought them too? Refuse me, 'tis a dangerous thing to be a Scholar, Philip had rather be a Scullar, and get his living backwards, as he gets his Honour, then take out such lessons; my head would look scurvily on London-bridge without a Periwig, and therefore God send me Ignorance: A Pox a learning for me, 'tis the worst enemy the State has, for there is no mischief committed, but it is first learned; therefore is not learning the cause of it? Does not Lilburne learn the Levellers, and the Levellers learn the People, and the Devil learn them all to disobey their Superiors, and set us together by the ears; 'Zblood, could I get but a lusty huntsman, or a Falconer, that could man my wife, the Rogue Ouldisworth should not stay a day in my House; for I am sure I have learned no goodness on him, his learning is the cause of my sickness; for had not he learned me to make Speeches, to speak witty Sentences and the like, I had not been so jeered, that I am ashamed to take my Coach, the very children pointing, and making horns at me, saying, There goes my learned Lord of Pembroke, and my wise Lord of Pembroke; but I thank God I have so much wisedom●, as to bid my Coachman drive away; Damn I hate revenge, 'tis base in a Nobleman to seek revenge: No, I had rather fall sick again, then seek revenge, because 'tis dangerous: But I am now recovered of my sickness, and therefore I hope all men will rejoice, and give thanks; and I shall desire the Supreme Authority to set apart a day of Thanksgiving, and Order the same; Damn they shall lose nothing by't, for I will bestow a Thanksgiving Dinner on them, for 'tis a sign of health that I begin to be hungry, and hunger had need of a good dinner; No man hath given more Thanks for the Parliaments Victories then myself, Mistress May can witness it, Judgeme (in my judgement) one thanksgiving deserves another; the Levellers are now levelled, and destroyed, and as God shall judge me, I had like to have been levelled into my grave, and then I had been destroyed too; and therefore one Thanksgiving may serve both; And so I take my leave of you for the present, not noubting but you will remember me in your Prayers,  
Yours till death, Philip Herbert, Knight for Berkshire; AND Earl of Pembroke and Montgomery.  
FINIS.   

Die Martis 29 May, 1649.  
ORdered that the next Innocents'. Day shall be a general Thanksgiving throughout England and Wales for the happy recovery of the Earl of Pembroke.  
Hen. Scobell. Cler. Parl.