TERRIBLE news FROM SCOTLAND: OR, A true Declaration of the late council of the kingdom of SCOTLAND, and how far they have proceeded in the raising of their forces with an exact representation of their Genealogies, lives, and Manners, WRITTEN, By a Gentleman employed in the Service for the public, and dedicated to the Commissioners of SCOTLAND.  
LONDON, Printed for T. W. 1647.   

A true Declaration of the late council of the kingdom of Scotland.  
HAving had the fortune (honour I will not say) to be employed in weighty affairs of the public, between this my native kingdom of England, and the neighbour kingdom of Scotland, and collecting from time to time with the greatest industry I could, the several most material passages observable, during the time of my sad employment, at last seeing no end of the case I undertook, I composed myself to a retired life and began to reflect upon the Diary of my last five years' action, which now seems to me as one in a continued trance, and often brings to my mind that of the Psalmist, Man walketh in a vain shadow, and disquieteth himself in vain. And now as the stopping of me in that career, was a sign of God's special favour unto me, so I now publish this relation in testimony of my thankfulness and repentance.  
First, for the Country I must confess it is to good for those that possess it, and too bad for those that will be at charge to conquer it; the air might be wholesome but for the stinking people that inhabit it,, the ground might be made fruitful, had they wit to measure it; their beasts are generally small, their women only accepted, of which sort the world I think hath not greater; there is store of fowl, foul houses, foul linen, foul d●shes, and pots, foul napkins and trenchers, foul sheets and shirts, with which sort of foul they have been forced to fare as the children of Israel did with their fowl in the wilderness. They have good store of fish, and good for them that can eat it raw; for if it but once come in their hands, it is presently worse than if it were three days old; For their butter and cheese I'll not meddle with them at this time, nor no man else at any time that loves his life. They ha' we great store of dear also, but so far from the places I have seen, that I had rather believe it then go to disprove it: all the dear I meet withal, was dear Lodging, dear Horse meat, dear Tobacco, and English beer, as for fruit, for their Grandmother Eve's sake they never planted any, and for other trees had Christ been betrayed in this land as doubtless he should have been, had he come a stranger amongst them, Judas had sooner found the grace of repentance than a tree to hang himself on. They have many H●lls wherein they say is much Treasure, but they have none of it; nature hath only discovered to them some Mines of coals to show to what end she create them, I see little grass but in pottage, & no flowers but such as (modesty forbids me to name) the Thistle was not given them for nought; for it is the fairest flower in the Garden: the word Hay is Heathen Greek to them, neither man nor beast knows what it means, Corn is reasonable plentiful at this time for since they heard of the Kings coming, it ha●h been as unlawful for the common people to eat Wheat, as it was in old time for any bu● Priests to eat showbread: they prayed much for his coming, and fasted longer for his welfare, all his followers was welcome but the Guard, those they said were like Ph●roes lean Kine, and threaten a dearth where they come: they would persuade Footmen that Oaten Cakes would make them long winded, and the Children of the chapel they have brought to eat them for the maintenance of their voices: they said our cooks were too saucy, and for grooms and Coachmen they gave their horses no worse than they might be content to eat themselves: they commend the brave minds of Pentinors, and the Gentlemen of the Chamber, that choose rather to go to taverns, then to be always eating of the King's provisions; as likewise the Pages and Yeomen of the Buttery, for their retiredness and silence, in that they will have 20 knacks, before they will answer one: they persuade the Trumpeters, that fasting is good for men of their quality; for emptiness causeth wind, and wind maketh the Trumpet sound the bringing in of Harralds they think was a needless Charge, they all know their pedegres well enough, and the Harbingers might have been spared since they brought so many beds with them, and of two evils since the least is to be chosen, they wished that the beds might be left with them, and the poor Harbingers do their Office as they return. His hangings they desire may remai●e here as Relinques to put them in mind of his majesty, and they promised to dispense with the wooden Images; but for his graven ones in his new beautified chapel▪ they threaten to pull them down soon after his departure, and make of them a burnt Off●ring, to appease the indignation; they conceive the Almighty bears them for suffering such Idolatry to enter into the Country: the Organs may sound because they say they have some affinity with baggpipes, the Skiper that brought the singing men with ●heir papistical vestments, complains that he hath been much troubled ever since with a singing in his head; for remedy whereof the Parson of the Parish hath persuaded him to sell that profane vessel, and to destribute the money among the frighted brethren; for his majesty's entertainment, he was received into the Parish of Edinburgh, for a City I cannot call it, with a great shout and cry, but no shows of charge; for Pagans they hold Idolatrous things, and not fit to be received in so reformed a place. From the Castle they gave him some pieces of Ordnance which surely he gave them since he was King of England, and at the entrance of the town the presented him with a golden basin, which was carried before him on men's shoulders to his palace, from whence I think it came. They protested if Christ came from heaven, he could not have been much welcomer, which I believe. Since his Majesty came but to summon them to Parliament, and Christ would have summoned them to judgement which they love not to hear of, he was conveyed by the Yorkers of the town, who w●re about 200 halberd bearers, who will rue it in respect of the charge to the Cross●, and so the high Church, where the only Bell they had, stood on tiptoe to behold his fair fac●, where I must entreat you to stay for an hour, I confess I left him. To report the speeches made for his meaner entertainment would be to tedious for you▪ as the Sermon was for those that were constrained to endure it out. After the preachment he was conducted to his palace, which I forbear to speak of, but it is a place sanctfied to his divine Majesty, only I wish it had been well walled for my friends sakes that waited on him, to bring the Major back who all the while attended on his majesty, were to much to amplify my story, the gentlemen lodged 2 stairs high, I will only faithfully and briefly spoke of the people, according to their degrees; For the Lords spiritual they may be well so called, being neither fish nor flesh, but what it sh●ll please their earthly God the King to make them. Obedience they hold to be better than sacrifice, making a mock of martyrdom, by saying Christ died for them, and not they for him: they will rather subscribe then surrender, or rather dispense with small things then trouble themselves with great imputations, they will rather acknowledge the King to be their head, then want wherewith to pomper their bodies: they have taken great pain●s and trouble 〈◊〉 compass their bishoptics, and they will leave them for a trifle; For the Deacons whose desert will not advance them▪ all they study is to discharge them as have got the least degree before them. And because they cannot write Bishop they proclaim they never heard of any in the Scriptures; they spoke of Deacons and Elders, but not a word of Deacons and Bishops, their words are full of detraction, their Sermons nothing but railing, and their conclusion● heresies and treasons, that religion they have I confess is above my reach, and God willing I will never stretch for it; They christian without the cross, and marry without a Ring, receive thk Sacrament without reverence, die without repentance, and bury without divine service. They keep no holidays nor acknowledge no Saint but St. Andrew, who say they got that honour by presenting Christ with an eaten cake after his 40 days fast. They say likewise that he that translated the English Bible was the son of some malter, because he spoke of a miracle done by barley loaves, where●s they'll swore tw●s done by many thousands. They use no prayer at all, for they say it is needles, God knows their wants, without their prattling, what he doth h● doth freely, Sabbath day's exercise is a preaching in the forenoonc to hear the Law, and to the crag & cliffs in the afternoon to louze themselves; they hold their nose if you speak of a bearbaiting and stop their ears if you take of a play, fornic●tion they hold but a pastime wherein men's abilities are approved, and the fertility of a woman discovered; adultery they shake the head at, theft they rail at, murder wink at, and bl●sp●emy they laugh at, they think it impossible to lose the way to heaven if they can but leave Rome behind, to be opposite to the Pope is to be present with God, To conclude, I am verily persuaded if God and his Angels should come down in white garments, they would 〈…〉 e aw●y and cry out the Children of the chapel are come again, to meet us, let us fly from the abom●nation of th●se boys, and hide us in the wilderness●▪ For the Lords temporal, and temporizing Lords and Gentlemen if I were apt to spea● of any I would not say much of them, only I must tell them they are Scottishmen, for as soon as they fall from the breasts of the beasts their mother, their careful Siers posts then away for France, where as they pass the sea, sucks from them that which they sucked from their rude dames: there they gather new flesh, new blood, new manners, there they learn to speak, to stand, to congee with women, and to compliment with men, to put on their clothes, and to return them into the Country to beware them: they have spared no cost to honour the King, no complemental courtesy to welcome Country men▪ there followers are there fellow●▪ their wives their slaves, their horses their masters, and their swords their judges▪ Therefore there are but few Lawyers, and those n●t rich: their Parliament holds but three dai●s, their Statutes 3 lives, and are determined in 3 words, the wonders of the buttery are these, the Lord chancellor is beloved, the Mr. of the rolls well spoken of, the whole council who are judges in all causes free from suspicion of corruption The Land though it be mountainous affords no monsters but women▪ of which the Countesses and Ladies are ●ept in Cages like our bore franks, through which peeping sometimes to catch the air, we are almost frghted at the sight of them. The greatest madness among the men is ●●●o●●ie, making such solicitous care to ●eep th●t which none have but 2 of their senses would seek to take ●rom them. The Ladies are of opinion that Susanna could not be chaste because she bathed often: pride is a thing breed in their bones and their flesh naturally abhorreth cleanliness, their breath commonly stinketh of pottage, their linn●n of piss their hands of Pigs turds, their whole body of sweat and their splay feet ever offend, notwithstanding their stocks to be chained in marriage with one of them, wear to be tied to a dead carcase and cast into a stin●ing ditch. Fucus or a Darby frieze, are things that they d●eame not of, the ointments among them most frequent are brimstone and butter for the scald, and oil of bays and stavesa●er for the lice, which lately out of curiosity is but newly crept into the Kingdom, and I think will not long continue. I prefesse I had rather be the meanest minion than the f●i●est Countess I have yet seen or discovered. To draw you down from the citizens wife to the country common dames we●e to bring you from Newgate to bridewell. The despised dames 〈◊〉 sea-coal lane are things of immortal race, every on in Hounsditch that converse in rags and marrowbones are Helen's to them, the greasy bawds in turnball-street are 'gree 〈…〉 Dames in comparison of them. To conclude the woman of ●ury in old time did out more wonder that the great Messiah should be born.  
FINIS