The Welsh DOCTOR: OR, The Welshman turned Physician, being a new way to cure all diseases in these distracted times of ours, VIZ.  

1. You shall see by this book that her have skill in all the 12. Signs, and knowledge of all the Humours, and likewise of her senses in folks podies.  
2. Her will cure all the Agues that are in her States and her Kingdoms, arising from factious and her turbulent humours.  
3. Her undertakes to cure perfectly all the Diseases in her she-cozens, as the glimmering of her Giszard, the quavering of her Kidney, with all pains and vento●ies in her pelllies.  
4. Her will undertake by her Receipts and her Potions to make all omens that are barons be as pig as her can tumble in two or three nights.  
5. Her professes to restore to all her distressed cousins that have got the wambling trot, or dislocation in her pellies to her perfect health; that is, her will restore her Maidenheads, & her Virginities in a small space, and with much facilities.  
6. Her will set all the bones that were broken at our late battles among her cousins, though it were in her necks.  
7. Her will with her purge and her vomits clear the stomach of her Church of all her Errors.  
8. Her will do more admirable cures then her cousins in the College of Physicians can do by her Galen and her Hypocrates; and whereas it is caknown, that her English Doctors kill not above thee quarters of her Patients that come under her hands, her will undertake to kill them all by her excellent receipts, and make her alive again in an instant.   
By Shinkin ap Morgan, Professor of te medical Arts and Sciences.  
Printed by ●. A. 1649.   

The Welsh Doctor.  
FIrst then to begin in priefe, for her hates to be tedious or to use preambles 〈◊〉 long as our Welsh or your Tailor's bills; her friend and cousin Jenkin, 〈◊〉 Taffie, Up Rice, Up Pew Gravock will in as short phrases and elocutions as is potable for a man of her calling come to the pusinesse, which as her takes it, and 〈◊〉 does all her famous ancient cousins and companions in the Mathematics: Also 〈◊〉 Ptolemy, Albumazar, and all learned Hebrew Rabbis, that writ and made scriptions of this matter three thousand years before her cousin Noah's Flood is 〈◊〉 ●r●●●ish language: as concerning the dispositions and constitutions of her podies in which Jenkin observes that their be five humours, as Ploud, Phleagme, Choler, and Melancholy, with another humour far worse than all these, marry her canno● well remember her names and appellations, but it is called as her takes it, a scur●● malignant humour, which is predominant in too many, and that is sufficient testimonies to have known it by, it contains all the rest of the humours, and is principally predominant in her Cousins when her have well scoured her welsh-ma●● with Metheglin, it occasions prittle prattles and piple papless in her she cozen whose tongues and tails love always to have her motions and fegaries; N●● Blood which is the first humour, is the life of man and it makes man have a 〈◊〉 colour, and well complexioned.  
Phleagm, that is a scurvy waterish humour, being a humour given much to 〈◊〉 mongers and Fishwives, and those that dwell near Billingsgate.  
Choler, that is a fiery hot humour which rules in many mens podies, and most 〈◊〉 her Welsh and British Nation, for when her Choler is moved, than her is all 〈◊〉 fire to vent it.  
Melancholy, that is a dogged and a dusty, musty humour, compounded of M●● ●●d Coal which makes it be called Melancholy; of that base humour is her Cou●●● Prince rupert's dog, whose name is Puddle.  
And so much is her conjectures and opinions concerning her five humours▪ his own podies, and her Cousins; now to her senses.  
There be six senses which her findes in Jeffery of Monmouth and other of 〈◊〉 Pretish writers to be just so many, that is to say number six, first the sense of Seeing▪ secondly the sense of Hearing, thirdly the sense of Smelling, fourthly the sense 〈◊〉 Tasting, fifthly the sense of Feeling, the sixth sense being more dangerous than 〈◊〉 the rest, which is her wife's tongue, which makes up perfectly the sixth sense; for will call her a thousand base denominations and titles; amongst which Rogue 〈◊〉 Rascal are her courtesies and her compliments; The sense of Seeing is most predominant in 〈◊〉 Mathematicians who had need have good sights to know 〈…〉 ●ouzens the stars by their complexions, as her Usurers to look narrowly to 〈◊〉 ●ags, and in her old men who have young wives lest her make look 〈…〉 ●ouzen Actaeon's. Her sense of Hearing should be most pregnant in her Brownists▪ ●nabaptists, and Roundheads, because her have none of that exerement of long ●●●ks to beat off the sound, yet will they never hear wholesome doctrine, but long ●inded exercises: her sense of Smelling her consignes to her Cousins of North-wales where it is most employed in receiving the delicious odours and perfumes of ●●sted cheese, who hath a mountain of Couse-bobby always at her door. Her ●ence of Tasting is most perspicuous in drinkers of Metheglin, which ever since Prute ●nd Corineus her kinsmen and progenitors hath been her Country drink. Her sense ●f Feeling her leaves to her cousins the Citizens wives who for the most part are oftener left then others: And for her sixth sense, which is her wife's tongue, that her bequeathes to the Tivell if he dare take her for his ears, and so by prosecutions and ●rogressions Jenkin shall descend to delineate her twelve signs, and to demonstrate ●hat her is an absolute scholar, and well learned in all the seven liberal sciences, which be nine by computation; as followeth: The definition or etymology of the ●welve signs, which hath predominance over her body every day, day by day;  
First for the twelve Celestial signs her do caknow them very well, and can call ●hem by their names, as her shall find them hereafter; But for her terrestrial signs ●here be so many in London, that her do not caknow half of them; Therefore her will have nothing to do with them: the first celestial sign is Aries; Now Aries in placed upon the head, especially if there be any hair or bestial sign there, if not, ●t is very plain, and also likely there is a convenient place for grafting horns; for ●e that hath horns on his forehead need be at no charges to buy hooks to hang ●heir hats on when they are at their great feasts, and brains heated with wine.  
Aries is her first celestial sign, and is commander over the head, which seemeth to be the occasion that men's heads only have horns: the head is the first house of man, and Aries which is a Ram, and her own Countryman, is Lord over that house, this sign has most predominance over Butchers, her wives and her daughters, and her would advise all her countrymen that have any motions or affections to her Butcher's wives or daughters be her maids, wives, or widows. And so much for her etymology or definition of her first sign Aries.  
Her next sign is Taurus seating herself in the nap of her neck, throat, and under her chin. This sign Taurus is only for men that have a bulhead, and those be they who do wear out their caps on their foreheads; and their bands in their neck, yet they be all of one degree and similitude, though some wear but their caps before, and the other their hands behind, there is but little differences or distinction, for those men are still counted the honestest men let their wives say what they can; but our hopes all will be well, if their wives but mend and darne up her breeches again. And it is a very unlucky and fatal sign her can assure you▪ for when this sign governs her cousins that used to porrow her goats and her  on her mountains one from another have their necks and their throats adorned with a ruff of hemp, which do you mark, her is the worst of all other garments: men borne under this sign are subject to bigger horns than those under Aries (for her knows that a bulls horns are longer than a Ramms horns) and therefore had need to be buried with her faces downward to avoid stumblings, and titubations in her Churchyards, market places, this sign is only fortunate and propitious to Gregory and the hangmen throughout the whole world, and fatal to highway men, who by the malignity of this sign very often come to finish their days at Tyburn.  
Her third sign is Gemini which in her welsh or heathen greek signifies a gemmall ring, for look you as her gemmall ring infolds and entwines one link within another, but in plain English, it is a close stool; for when her wife Jones buttocks are upon the close stool, what can be more geminating or more closer: so doth your Gemini which has his residence in her arms, because with her arms her do bestow usually her embraces, under your Gemini are borne most of her handsome she cousins in Court, City and Country.  
This sign is an enemy to all phlebotomy and blood-letting in any man, but in the Spring time by her woman Surgeon, and so much for Gemini.  
Cancer is her fourth sign which is our greek Ancer; which is in English a younger brother; such a one was her when her went to Kenton battle; for when her went away her desired her pay, answer was made, there was none: this sign Cancer hath her predominance in her breast, pointing to her very heart: this sign was in her force at the battle of Kenton where her cousins like faliant Welsh-men did not run away no faster than their legs could carry her, marry 'twas without shoot or boots, on her bare ten toes as her is a true Gentleman of Wales and a Trojan: This sign is most appropriate to her Bishop's and Prelate's where since the domination hereof have changed her mitres into corner caps, her cousins' Saint Taffies the Arch pishop of Wales his breech making buttons, this sign betokens that many Citizens shall teede upon spiders which shall do them more harm than they do her other monkeys, and make them break in great abundance all to pieces.  
Leo is her fifth sign which signifies in greek a Lion, now her must needs confess her never saw a Lion in all her life but once, that was at Edge-hill, her had a white face and her two hands and her two legs was bound together and carried before a man on horseback to the next market: now this furious beast hath his domination in the back, this sign has his operation over Porters and men of burden, whereas these times stand are men of scurvy carriage, her cousins of Wales that had outran an errand, and carry water to her friends houses being out of date, for in the City there is so small trading they need but little water to dress their victuals.  
Her next sign is Virgo which has her seat in her waist, hence it is that if her Virgins be so slippery in the wastes as her Ecls in her tail, this sign has all her wholesome whores and harlots under her, and betokens that if there be four Virgins above fifteen in a Parish or twenty in a City, a miracle above her nine wonders.  
Libra is her sixth sign which signifies in Creek, first a lie, secondly a mortar and ● bray, which put together, makes Libra, and ruleth her belly and her navel, this ●igne had her powers and her operations over her cousin Winifred, and her Cousins Vrsulant, her eleven thousand Virgins that were so chaste they feared not what man could do unto them: this sign has little to do with maids, that love ●o lie with their faces upwards, and therefore her is seldom conversant with ●●nne-keepers and Alewives. Her also betokens much pain in the guts to those ●hat can get no victuals, and dreadful trembling in her bellies, and to her cousins' ●hat feed only on the fat of her leek and the green onion, her being much troubled with ventosities and blowing her noses backwards.  
Her next sign is Scorpio which signifies a hedgehog or an Urchin: which is her ●igne of her privaties or copulation members, this sign is predominant in most men from fifteen to fifty.  
Sagitarus is her 8. sign, which signifies an Archer, or one that shoots at pricks; and has his seat in her things, a terrible sign here is, and very adverse to her Countrymen the Britain's, for her is nothing fortunate in her slights and exercise ●f her things in running away, and in races, as divers of her cousins at Kenton manifested by woeful experience.  
Capricorn is her 10. sign, which signifies her welsh goat or Venison, and rules in her hams or her knees: Hence her Dancers are called Caperers: for they can caper without hurting their corns, which jumps and leaps, sine corns, and so without hurt: but indeed her may be more properly applied to her heads, for Capricornus is as much to say in her welsh greek horns, this sign is proper to all Cuckolds and such persons in the City as love to have their horns exalted above their neighbours, such as for the most part your Sectaries who detest long hair and love her long horns.  
Aquaries is her eleventh sign which doth signify in Welsh a water-poet, one who doth rhyme and make ballets and other verses, for a pot of Ale and a pipe of Tobacco: and so her doth learn her Countrymen to sing.  
Pisces being her last sign is most relative to the Fish-monger and her fishwives who because these her two watery signs rule the feet and the legs, can never keep her legs close whiles these signs are in force, this sign is very proper to her Footmen that run much, and to her parpateticks and walking Philosophers, and thus much for her twelve signs.  
And now her having done with the definition of the 12. signs, also of the five humours, and six senses, and also of the seven planets, I now begin with her Physical Observations.  
HEr understanding that all her shee-cozens in general are subject to divers qualms and diseases, her having been a long time conversant with her shee-cozens podies, finds by her experiences and her skills, that the generallest disease all her cousins are subject to, is the glimmering of her gizzards, an infirmity which arising from her spleen into her mouth, infects her tongue like a canker, making her call her husband's rogues and rascals and many other scurvy ords: It makes her likewise oftentimes to strive for her breeches and break her husband's pates with her ladles and her skimmers, and is indeed an epedemical disease, and raining in most of her she Cousins: The cure hereof though Galen hath not set down, not her Hypocrates, nor Averro, nor Avicen her Cousins, yet shall her Cousin Jenkin in priefe declare the remedy for that disease.  
First when her gins to be in her sits, her husbands shall perceive it by the bending of her brows, then let him apply to her a plaster of good words, and if that will not serve her turns, let him take her good has●e cudgel or her rope's end, and baste her as her Welsh-men do her old goats to make them eat tender, for so her Cousin King Tavid did; as you may find it some where written; And Tavid went in and did so lace his wife; therefore her and aule her Countrymen may therefore baste their wives by authority and privilege, and liberty of the subject: for her do find it by experience and by her reading▪ that the more her do beat her Walnut-trees, and her Spaniel and Camomel bank be basted or trodden, the more fruit it will bear; and the women love their husbands the better, and this will cure her presently, which twice or thrice applied to her sides. There is another remedy which Jenkin herself hath often used with her Wives, which is to take her as her fit gins, and lay her upon her back and tickle her Tuquoques, and it shall cure her in an instant; Probatum est.  
The quavering of the kidneys in her she cousin's is, when her is full of her lusts and concupiscences, and her much long and desires to make her husband's cuckolds. In Spain her cousins the Spaniards have excellent remedies for these diseases in her wives; for as soon as her perceives and caknowes that her wives are bend to be sick of the quavering of her kidneys, her lets her blood in her breast or in the bellies with her sword or her taggers; marry Jenkin would wish her cousins to use this easier remedies and medicines, which is when her omans' flesh rises, and would go to man's, let her husbands give her two ounces of good instructions, with three drams of the oil of man distilled through his own limbeck, a vomit and a potion made of opium and her turnips; then let her have a diet for a month of her Welsh leeks without bread or salt, and it shall recover her perfectly; probatum est.  
For her barren cousins, her shall by her preservatives and her medicines make her as pregnant as her heart can wish, and have every year a shield if there be no defect in the capacities of her podies. First let her eat the brains of a he goat mixed with the marrow of a Stoat, or Polecat (her may caknow him by her smell and her savours) with the flesh of her monkeys for a fortnight's, and trink every morning a pottle of her best and Welsh Metheglins; Then let her get her into a good soft beds and have every night for the space of a month a lusty young man to her bedfellows to salute her bodies and recreate her kidneys, and if her be not with shield Jenkin will forfeit her reputations in physics. This medicine is most predominant over her Cousins in her Cities, and may serve indeed for omens of all Nations under forty years of age, whereas divers of her Cousins have had the wambling trot in her pellies, or the dislocation in the martix which is occasioned by much ploods and icches in her podies, whereby oftentimes her comes to lose her Maidenheads and her Virginities, which her foolish Physicians in times past knew not how to cure.  
Jenkin for the good of her dearest Cousins hath found out the medicines that will restore her to her Virginities, which is, her must take a peck of Ferne-sut gathered on Midsummer night, with two ounces of Moonshine taken out of the river of Dee at noon days, six eyes of the Phoenix, seven eyes of Argus which her Cousin Mercury pulled out of her head, the brain of the bird of Paradise which sung to her Gransieur Adam, the flesh of the buttock of one of her Welsh Goats which her Cousin Noah's had in her Arks, the juice of the apple which her Grandmother Eve eat at the enticement of the Serpent, the head of the great huge fish of two hundred yards long, that was taken in Eighty eights with a great ruff like a Spaniard, above London-Bridge, a bottle full of the water of the Enchanters wells, which was kept by the great Dragons that was overcome by her Cousins Palmerius, and S. Tavid, two yards of freeze which was in her Prophet Merlin's old coats, five onions of Jenkins own planting, and six pound of leeks, take all these, and stamp them upon the stone where jacob slept, and strain them through one of the clouds which hang over her Welsh mountain, and then take all these her ingredients, and lap her up in a yard of butter-slies skins, and lay her warm to her Cousin's bottom of her bellies, and so let her renew the plaster or cataplasm, do you see, every night afresh, and it shall make her Cousins as found and firm in her Maidenheads and her Virginities, as ever her was in her lives, and her may be certain that Jenkin hath made his explorations and experiments upon this medicine, and find it to be very available; Probatum est.  
Her also does undertake to cure all her Agues and Fevers that are in her States and her Kingdoms arising from her factious and malignant humours, which indeed and in sooth none can cure without phlebotomy or blood-letting, but her Cousin Jenkins, which must be done in this manner: First, her State or her Kingdom must take fifty or threescore heads of her Malignants and poyle them to a jelly in a hundred Cavaliers ploods, then take the fat of six Jesuits that were hanged, drawn, and quartered at Tyburn, (do you mark) and with the brawn of a hundred Prelates buttocks stewed in Metheglins, and let all these ingredients be laid on the stomach of her State of her Kingdom, and it shall expel her Agues and her Fevers; or otherwise, take two ounces and six pound of the long hair of your Roundheads, which in Welsh her calls Russetings, and make therewith a 〈◊〉 a-pulsive, with the blood of some Anabaptists, and applied as aforesaid, an● your sick State shall recover immediately without the help of her Doctor's an● her Physicians, as Jenkin has made divers times her experiences and probations upo● all the Kingdoms of Asia the less; Probatum est.  
Next, whereas her has been informed, that divers of her Cousins have lost he● legs and her arms, and many of her have broke her necks at Kenton Battles, he● has studied a medicine that shall recover her perfectly, let her come to her Cousin Jenkins lodgings at the sign of the Welsh Goat in Garlick-lane, with her broke● legs, arms, or necks, and her will make her as sound as ever her was in her lifes Probatum est.  
Next her does profess to give her Church a vomit, and a purge that shall make her free from all her pains in the stomach, her must first take a long stick of Stibium which in Welsh is called the Gallows, and hang thereon three hundred Brownists, five hundred Anabaptists, and as many of all sorts of her Separatists, and then let her dry in the Sun fourteen weeks, and then beat her to powder and mixed her with a great deal of oil extracted from her Roundheads locks, and let this be given to her Church through the great Organ pipe that is shut up in her Church of Paul's, and it shall make her Church vomit and purge up all her errors and her heresies, and put her into as good states and conditions of her health as her was in the days of her Apostles, especially when her Cousin Jenkin gives her clyster to make her evacuate her Bishop's and Prelate's backwards which must be compounded on this manner. First her must take two handfuls of herb a grace of which there is enough in her Welsh mountains, and mingle it with the surrups of two and twenty Mitres, boiled in the juice of as many Rochets and Surplices, and let it be put in at the fundament or porch of the Church, and it shall give her thirty or forty of her stools which shall clear her podies of all her Bishop's and her Prelates, and send her to the Tivell with a vengeance.  
Lastly with her diet and her purge, her cordial and her vomit, her will cure all her cousins that are Cuckolds of her horns, and make her brows as smooth at the backs of her hands, which, if any of all her London Physicians can perform, Jenkin● will never set up her pills nor her prescriptions, her will also with contection of toasted cheese, metheglin, green leeks and onions, undertake to kill her a hundred a day, and with her goat's milk mixed with the buds of her welsh gunshot which is English is called Eldern, restore her again to her lifes in a minute's space, and a●● this be performed by Jenkin ap Morgan Dr. of Physgig; and studier of all the art of medicine as her testifies under her hands and hopes that all her Cousins that are sick of the said diseases will buy her cousins' book of medicines and repair to her for cures and advice.  
FINIS.