The Welsh-mans' Postures, OR, The true manner how her do exercise her company of Soldiers in her own Country in a warlike manners with some other newfound experiments, and pretty extravagants fitting for all Christian podies to caknow. Up Morgan. up Shinkin. Maurice. T●●sie ●…nted in the year. When her did her enemy jeer, 1642. THE WELCH-MAN'S Postures: OR, The true manner how her do exercise her Soldiers in her own Country. Together with some other newfound experiments, and pretty extravagants fitting for all Christian podies to caknow. THough her love not to remember Kenton Battle, not how the bullets slew about her cares like Bees, nor how her lost her left arm▪ and did afterward with her right arm and hand write her Welsh Almanac, yet that her may give good instructions to all her loving Countrymen how to defend herself in Warlike Disciplines, and learn to keep her crowns uncrackt, and come off with awl her lives and limbs, her will now show her the way how to order and handle her Muskets, Guns and Pikes, according to her Welsh manners and her own experiences. First her desire all her Countrymen to caknow her must not be drunk not reel, but stand bolt upright as her stakes do in he hedges or fields, no her do not mean fields, but her mean files. And moreover her must stand right in her ranks and pedigrees, that is Pouldron to Pouldron, or Noddle to Noddle, or jobbernole to jobbernole, and keep her ranks close, if her smell not too strong that is, her must stand by her Countrey-mans shoulder, and must stand by her side, be it right or wrong close to her. And then her must remember to teach her wife and all her children not to talk or break her pates to keep silence, and her must remember that silence is best when her is taught, as for publishing and speaking her mind in bid English, and therefore let her be sure always to keep silly-sence in her mouth waking or s●eeping, and let her tell all her stories and long tales and writ Almanacs and this her present work in silly-sence. And moreover if her pick her Countryman's pocket at a fair, ●et her do it to her right hand, or dive in her Country-womans' placket, let her do it to her right hand, and if her toast her sheese by the fire side let her do it to her right hand, or if draw he●●●eat sword five yards long, and her Tagger, let her hold both in her right hand valiantly, and that will make her in her next posture as if her were Saint George: but if her enemy come too fast upon her in a furious manner, let her ●unne away as her were▪ not half so valiant as her were thought to be; but if her do fall to discourse of her pedigree, let her brag as her were in Wales, and as her were King Arthur's own cousin, and as her were ancient Gentleman of Pighouse, or as her were descended from a hog-house, and let her always commend herself as her were better than ever her was. Now her meaning in these words (as her were) is this, that her must ever turn the cat in the par●, and speak and do contrary to all truths and verities, for if her have never a penny in her purse her must talk and do●nmince●s as her were a great Gentleman, and kaine and bastinado her young soldiers, if her have never look her enemy in the face, her must talk as if her were as valiant as her Countryman Pendragon, her must speak as her were true, honest, valiant, faithful and loving to all her Countrymen, though her meant no such matter. First her will show H●r Postures for her Gun. FIrst silence or silly-sence. Stand e●● in her ranks. Straighten h●●●iles. F●ces to her let●…ag; A●●e you were before; Faces to her right crag; Ass y●● were; Faces about, that is where her ●an●e ●a●; Faces to her valiant Captain. SHoulder her Gun, or lay her gun upon her lest Crag. Take down her Gun. Hold her Gun fast behind. Keep up her nose. Look in her arse or Gun-hole. Put dust in her Arse. Then put one bullet in her arse. Put another ●ullet in her arse. Knock her down on the ground. Draw out her stopping stick; or muckle prick. Handle her stopping stick. Put it into her Arse-hole. R●m down her bullet into the bottom of her Arse-hole. Draw out her stopping stick. Put it in her right place again. ●ift up her Guns nose. Further into her noging stick. L●●ke to her firepan. ●●ep her arse clear; Blow the lose dust out of her arse. Then wipe her arse. Let not her nose drop in her arse, as her wife doth, when she makes puddings. Guard her arse with her two first fingers. Open her arse with her finger. Powder her arse. Shut her arse again. C●ck her rope's end. Blow her rope's end. Try her rope's end. Open her arse with her finger, Stand stiftly to her guns arse. Put out her truest leg; Pull down her Cock; Give fire to her arse-hole. Make her shitt bullets, And let her go off with a ponder in the Tivells' name. Take her gun out of the nogging stick. Draw out her muckle prick. Secure her guns arse. Put more dust in her arse. Prime her arse again & again. Shoulder her gun again on her left crag. Keep her legs close. And march in good fashion▪ with her nose in the leaders arse, if her smell not too strong of toasted sheese. Her Postures for her Pike. TAke her pike in her Thee●v●sh hand. Hold up her long pikestaff. Take order with her pikes. Charge her pikes. Str●ke with her pikestaff. Push her pikes in her bellies. Put her p●kes to her breast. Shake her pikes: Shoulder her pike always on the right side of her crag. Take order with her pikes. Carry her pikes over her heads. Draw her pikes after her. Let her pike stand stiff. Cheek her pikes. Nose her pikes, Charge to her right leg, Put shoulder to her pike again. Stand to her pike. Make her pike stand again. Then charge to her left crag. Charge between her legs. Carry her pikes on her should sea or right crag always when her marches; Stand to her pikestaff. Charge under her hands. Charge under her legs; Charge her pikes between her legs, and draw forth her long sword. Then take order with her pike. Come up to push of pikes. Then break her pike, and run away with her other piece and swear her did break in her enemy's bellies: If her pike be hole then retreat with her pikes. And never be beaten back with her pikes, but when ●er see her own blood. Fling away her pikes and take her he●●s; for her can tell, that at such times, one pair of heels is worth two pair of h●…: And Qui non dissimulare n●● est vivere, that is, he that cannot ●●l how to dissemble, and double his files, must not live in this round age. ANd further for her Gun, let her as soon as her hath presence and given fire let her fall off, and never come up again to her first Ranks, but leave all the wings and fly away with her own wings tied to her heels, as her have heard that her cousin Mercury hath, for after her Gun hath once 〈◊〉 bullets, let her give over least her fall into ●…owring, and make her own self b● shit her ownself for fear, without command or authorities In her marches, let her always keep a good distance from the enemy, at least a mile, or a mile and a half, for her love not her enemy, so well to come near her; but if her must come in h●… sight let her make her Gun shit bullets in her face, or else keep her ●st with her long pole, or staff with a pike at the end; a●… now her will show her how to perform her exercises and 〈◊〉 of pikes another way. Advance and hold her p●kes or hop-poles, as her do h● Welch ●ookes, or as her hold her pikes in pushing against 〈◊〉 country men's packs, and country wo●●a●s pellies, and let h●… boldly, holding her in her true hand, if her have any. Order 〈◊〉 pikes though her do not order herself, and let her keep he● self and her pikes always within her own borders of Wal●● and never stir a soot to these Battles, and then her shall o●der her pikes in good fashion. Shoulder her pikes, and let her lie on her shoulder as he● Welch hook ●oe●, half before and half behind; but her had 〈◊〉 there car●y any thing on her shoulders to her Country Mark then shoulder the pikes, her had rather eat her Welsh shoulders of Mutton or sheep's arms at home, rather than ●●avail●… the wars to shoulder her pikes and be beaten bacl and shoulders; as her was at Coven●●y, and at other places let her cha● her pikes that they would prove more valiant than herself, 〈◊〉 when her meets with her country-women her pikes put her charge when her come to pu●h a pike with her, yet her had 〈◊〉 there ●un her pikes in her country podies bellies, and so co●● off valiantly▪ Trayle and draw her pikes after her, as a Tortase or a gr●● Snake doth her long tails, but her shall hang and draw he, 〈◊〉 fore her shall get her to draw or trail any more pikes after h●● and so draw her into danger of the Redcoats, and have 〈◊〉 Coxcomb cut, and her own plud drawne which her cannot abide to see. Keep her pike next to her cheek, and let her check keep her colours, or if her check do not keep it, let her nose keep and ●eare her ●●lours in the midst of her face and march for most. And these are some of her ways and fashions how to use her Arms, her Gun, her ropes end or matches, and her pikes, against back or belly, but as for using her legs, all true Bri●taines, and all her country men can do that out of her own magnani●ities and valours, and can run away without any directions, for at such times one of legs is better than two of hands, to bring her into her own country, and bid farewell a●mes and bullet-shiting Guns. The Welch-man's newfound experiences. Hung a dog in a Crab●tree and her will never love Varges afterwards. If the head of a Fox or of a Wolf be hanged in a Dove-house, neither Polecats, Weasels nor any thing that will either hurt the pigeons or suck their eggs will enter therein; Probatum est▪ A comb made of the right horn of a Ram, doth take away the headache being applied on the right side of the head, if though pained head be combed therewith: If the pain be on the left side of the head, than a comb made of the left horn of a Ram doth take it away, if it be rightly combed therewith. If any soldier be in fear of his life, in so much that her is afraid ●o beshit her breeches; eat but one knot of the Root called Mullen; or else the rind of a Pome-granard; and it will bind her fast behind. The juice of Broom mixed with the oil of Radish or of mustardseed, is a very safe remedy for the kill and destroying of a soldier's enemies, his backbiter; called an English Moabite, with a list down her back like a Roane-horse. New cheese wrapped or folded in the dry leaves of the herb called Dragon, preserves the same from being mouldy, or from ●…ennesse; Probatum est, as her did at Edge-hill. Whosoever will preserve her podies from violent danger, le● her keep her safe from going to Wars at Edge-hill; and whosoever would live long, let her keep herself from wine and Women; Probatum est. IT is truly reported that many men who travail towards the Holy Land, and into Arabia the Desert have been transformed into beasts, and such like creatures; only a Countryman of hers, who would needs go see fashions, as other pilgrims did▪ did only carry some good Welsh cheese which did preserve him from being transformed, such virtue hath good cheese over those foul fiends in that Country. Hang a roasted dog in a dove-house (as her do in Wales) and al● the Pigeons in the whole County will resort thither; and the● take them, and kill them, roast some, bake some, and stew some▪ and boil the rest: Probatum est. An excellent approved thing to make a sat body slender & light; First her go ●nd enter herself a voluntary soldier, where her shall be● same to lie hard and far hard; if that will not perform the work; then Secondly let her strive & be file leader, or be placed in the front of the Army or Battle; Especially if there be an enemy in opposition to her & if her be not shot with a bullet after two or three firings, or else lose an arm or a leg, he hath Cuckold's luck; but if her be hit and lose her arm or her left leg, as her did at Kenton battle, her will warrant her, her shall grow slender and have a thin body, and be far lighter than ever her was before. And to advance this work forwards, let her eat but two cloves of garlic in a morning, and then nothing till noon but an ounce of Welsh cheese toasted, and an ounce of Rye bread, and a little fair water; If this do not perform the thing; I will for ever suffer in good men's opinions; but her do know it to be true; Probatum est. And so her have done with these her known and tried experiences and will cease till her set out her skills in physic, and in all the other seven liberal sciences; vale du humah. FINIS.