A VINDICATION OF Mercurius Elencticus. (alias) WHARTON. From the false aspersions of the scandalous, abusive, and blasphemous pen of WILLIAM LILLY. Our state's mountebank, the Parliaments juggler, the natural Astrologian, and the devils own ASTRONOMER. Not long since divulged in damnable black rhetoric, printed and sent abrord in a senseless book; styled, The late Story of Mr. WILL. LILLY. Together, With one word to an unknown colonel, whom lily feigns to be the Author of the said story; as also another to the wizard himself.  
Written by Mercurius Melancholicus wellwisher to the fraternity, and prosperity of the Mercuries.  
Printed in the year, 1648.   

A Vindication of Mercurius Elencticus (alias) WHARTON.  
BEcause my weekly writing, is to no other intent or purpose, then to discover, and manifest the crimes of this nation, the knavery and fraud of the people therein, and the generality of the abominations committed in it. Think it not strange if I particularly lay open, and evidently proclaim to each public view the detestable guile, and politic inventions of that arch wizard William Lilly, with which he seeks to cozen and delude the commonwealth; as a thing unobservable, and as though nobody took notice of him: For which I thought it not amiss to separate him by himself, and place him out of the rank of all honest, nay all manner of men in general, as one not fit to accompany a Christian. For indeed had I but once began his odious name in my weekly sheet, I should hardly have writ any thing else, and besides should have infected my whole discourse with the mere apprehension of his villainy. But not to trifle away too much time upon so foul a subject, and possess my breast any longer than needs I must, with his hateful conceits; I will come to the point or occasion of my publishing this paper.  
Not long since my brother Eleneticus in his second or third book (if you be remembered) makes mention of a notable fraudulent action, committed by this wizard Lily in betraying a Lady contrary to her will, and causing her to marry one far below her degree and quality, to the very much dishonour, both of herself and the whole family of the Scroope's from which she descended, (but you must be sure to Lilly's great profit and advantage) and so indeed relates the whole story as it was acted (which I doubt not but you have already heard) therefore it is to no purpose for me to recite it) thereby to perform his duty, in informing the people of his base craftiness, and subtle delusions.  
Which happened to the hands of th' foresaid wizard, that he thereupon grew very much troubled, that his perfidious knavery should be so openly discovered, and apparently divulged to the whole world: And being through madness ignorant (at the present) to invent any means to demonstrate his fury, remained very discontented along time, till at the last about two months after the relation, when it was almost forgotten▪ his block head bethought himself of this revenge; & so composed a subtle piece of nonsensical English, printed it in two sheets of paper, and guilds it over with a cloak of Th. As thus, To all Gentlemen Cavailers of this kingdom, a colonel Th. sends this discourse, &c. when no such Col. I'll lay my life can be heard of, only a mere forgery of lily: But yet he has another Title for the book itself, which is The late story of Mr. Will. Lily &c. Indeed it may well be styled so, 'tis a mere story, you may swear it is one of his own penning; truly it is the quintessence, nay it is the very extract of nonsense, the only natural character of simplicity. Do but mark how he begins (as it were) with a Narration of his detesting or abhorring himself and actions, though in a blind way, as from the mouth of the foresaid Col. (yet God knows his own words) and so proceeds in his folly, with an examination of the Gentleman, the Lady, and all parties whatsoever appertaining either to them or any else, whereby he might know the truth concerning the said relation of Elencticus: But presently cries it down, avers it for falsehood, and certainly concludes with himself (but a satisfaction to nobody else) that it is no such matter, only a mere fable, a scandal reproachfully penned to bring an Odium upon his name, &c.  
Thus this states grand Quack-salver flatters himself, and feeds his own fancy, with mere delusions, thinking to purblind the eyes of the people with that abominable scandalous Pamphlet, as his own already are with gazing upon the stars: but alas! he is much deceived, all this will not serve; Noah, nor can all his infernal black Art absterge, and cleanse his putrified name and actions from their manifold corruptions, and their merited infamy.  
Look next how the coxcomb, goes on, and presents a few astrological lines in the shade of a Letter from the said Col. burr I cannot conceive any Cavalier invented it; for to speak the truth, it carries an excellent stile, in faith it is admirable rhetorical nonsense, Excellentissimum & supremo gra●u, pro-fec-to, 'tis worthy admiration, I do not think but he dived to the very bottom of his Father Pluto's budget for it; for 'tis impossible his mossy pate should produce such a monstrous miraculous piece of Eloquence: well, it shall scape me narrowly, but that some time or other, when I have nothing else to do, I'll spend an hour or two to try if I can get it by heart, and so say it by rote, that I may carry it in my brain with me, up and down wheresoever I go; For indeed I intend not to oppress my pocket with it, unless it be to perform that necessary occasion, you know what I mean, for which lily himself is hardly good enough.  
Surely, he thought the City had great need of wast Paper, else he would never have infected the press with such a mess of ignorance: Truly 'tis pity that such a large, long, tall, mighty Hobby-horse should have no more wit; Lord! how the villain plays the ass in the City, like a Fool in a Comedy, that once wrote a Letter to his Mistress before her face, after sealed it, so presented and read it to her upon the Stage, in the presence of the whole Multitude; just so hath this idiot done, goes and writes a Letter, a mere forgery, as from a colonel, and directs it to himself, so answers it according to his own discretion, and after divulged it to the vast world. I pray tell me, which act contained the more simplicity, and which of these two idiots was the greater fool? Truly 'tis a Question soon to be resolved, for 'tis a very easy matter to say lily, whom I judge to be the worse of the two, in that he is a very great, proper Hobgoblin, and one that more deserves, and better beseems the place then any of his own Art I know. Go, go lily, I am ashamed an ginger should commit and be guilty of such deformed actions: the very boys, could they but understand thy Eleganticall language, would point, and hoot at thee up and down the streets; But perge (Lily) quid sequitur? 'Tis very well; what! more nonsense yet?  
In faith, here is such a heap of infernal Ignorance, that my eyes never before beheld; I wonder where Lilly borrowed it: borrowed, there's a word indeed, truly you are mightily mistaken, it is his own invention, it as naturally flows from the Conduit of his profound Brain, as doth clear water out of a Spring.  
But you shall hear the sequent, which is an answer to his own Letter, which I mentioned before; I would have you read it (if you can) but I fear it will puzzle you: for indeed it dazzled my eyes at the first beholding, it was so glazed over with impudence, and his brazen face had cast forth such a luster upon each live, that I could not have the patience to read it any more than once over, and truly thought that too much, for I could scarce tell how to pick sense out of it, but at length understood his meaning; where he strives to possess the people, that he acted nothing dishonestly, or to the prejudice of the aforesaid Lady, in the least degree, with many such like subtle persuasions: But let him believe that will, for my own part I know, Elencticus to be (contrary to his false definition) an honest, discreet, moderate, wise Gentleman, one no ways guilty of what he imputeth to him, nor one whit meriting the infamous (though false) scandals with which this scurvy lily hath abused him, and that all who know him can testify.  
Well, Reader, I hope I am not to tedious in my writing, neither have I offenped thy cares with my discourse, truly if I have, I crave thy pardon; if otherwise, I will yet intrude somewhat more upon thy patience, and tell but a very little more, and so conclude.  
You know a Prophet's not without honour, except in own his country (truly a very good maxim) wherefore lily saith himself he's very much esteemed beyond the Seas (far enough off England you must think) As in Italy, Venice, Paris, and many other places, but I don't know where; yet this I'm sure, that for my part I never heard any of his own nation speak well of him. But it is no wonder, for as long as he is praised, and esteemed so in the places aforesaid, what needs he be reputed here? I but, how can ye tell he is so regarded? How can I tell, marry, there's a question withal my heart, why, doth not he say so himself? what greater testimony can you have? Indeed if you expect any other witness, I must entreat you to be silent, or else e'en go seek one; for I conceive it to be a bottomless piece of business, and you may search till doomsday and not find another, unless you meet with colonel Th. by chance; indeed I think it must be by the wheel of fortune, for if one went on purpose to look him, he should find it as hard a task as ever he undertook in his life: I'd hardly (for Lilly's whole estate) be bound to wear one pair of shoes till I accomplished it; for should I so engage myself, 'tis doubt in the fine I should be glad to run to the wizard, and get him to unmask himself, reassume the name, and metamorphize his rotten carcase (as before) from a Round-headed juggler, a devilish necromancer, and a vile Astronomer; to a civil Cavalier, a colonel, &c. which are very unfit (a Hangman rather would have better becomed) and should I have failled of my hopes there, truly I fear, that I should continually wandered like a Goose barefoot; but I intend not to run headlong into that labyrinth.  
Therefore you must of necessity believe him, without you make a twelvemonth's journey on purpose, to go into the said countries, and so know the truth; but I think 'tis as good save that labour, as you should arrive there, to hear no better of him than you do, or may imagine; this is ●n, opinion, that I believe what I suppose to be true, you believe what he says (if you can) I won't strive to dissuade any from their good thoughts of him: for indeed I think, there are very few or none conjecture any at all.  
What do you think he says next, The Cavaliers suppose of him? (as he reports) they esteem him no less than a very wise man: But I must tell you, a mere wizard, a Conjurer, a soothsayer, a certain Sorcerer &c. by reason of his many predictions and prophecies, which they sound (as he says) too true to their own grief, loss, and damage▪ Since now (Reader) thou hast heard the whole discourse from the beginning to this place, and may judge according to your mind, and because also you have read the opinion of the Cavaliers to the full; let me presume to ask you one question: What do you conceive of his grand Idolater? do you think he is a-? or a-? or both? or what (the Devil) do you think he is? (Hah) truly were I but asked this quest. I would quickly in a word resolve it; but being there is no necessity for my sentence, I'll bite my tongue between my tooth, be silent for the present, and conceal it till a more convenient opportunity, that I may then express myself to the full, to the eternal infamy of his detestable, insolent, impudent, and brazen-faced name, till which I will only trouble you with one word to the unknown colonel, and another to base lily himself, and so in brief finish all.  
First let me know, and be acquainted with the 〈◊〉 name, that I may the better be satisfied, and mare audaciously speak to him: but can any man tell me how I may attain to its knowledge? or of whom I 〈◊〉 inquire to be punctually resolved about it? 'Tis a 〈…〉 to be looked into, but I doubt very hard to be answered 〈◊〉 do ye hear friend, I can you tell? or you? or you? 〈◊〉 what! can nobody put in a word of comfort? if it were but a whisper in my ear, that I might be satisfied I'll promise you I'll reveal it to nobody; but I think there is no fear of that, for I shall scarce come to hear it myself, yet I'll try once more in a word▪ and if I am not pleased I will 〈…〉 and Cry throughout the kingdom, and then it may be I shall speed: surely some body else besides lily must needs know this lousy colonel; Gentlemen if you know him, I pray speak that I may not continue in this ecstasy: what! are ye all mute? not one word spoken? troth, I perceive here's little hopes, not one man among so many thousand so wise as lily? very strange, and a mere paradox to me, that a man (and a colonel too) should live so obscurely: well, well, I see there's no good to be done by this private inquisition, that to tell you the plain truth, I am almost a weary, and near out of heart to proceed any further in my inquiry; nevertheless I'll do as I said, and publish the Hue, and Cry I spoke of, and if that takes not effect, I'll conclude (non est inventus)  

The Hue, and Cry.  
If there be either man, woman, or child, in city, country, or kingdom; that can bring or tell any tidings of a reproachful, abusive, scandalous, detestable, odious, abominable, wicked, insolent, damnable, impudent, profane, unjust, outrageous, railing, immodest, beggarly, vapouring, harebrained, frantic, despicable, mad, envious, villainous coxcomb (Colonel I mean) I can give no other description of him than you have heard, only this; that he walks under the style of a civil Cavalier, and the two first letters of his name be Th. that's all I can say; if therefore any of the aforesaid know such a person, and where resident; or can tell the residue of his name; let them repair to Mercurius Melancholicus living at the sign of the wooden-frying pan, near hundred Ally in Flee●street: where they shall be really entertained for their news; and receive what reward, or satisfaction they can get for their pains.  
How now my hearts, how do ye like this? do ye think it is not enough to find him out if he be above ground? unless lily hath vanished him with a word, I'm sure 'tis, but how should I know whether it prospers? I'll wait a little while longer yet, before I speak to him, and if it fall not out according to my expectation, I'll presume another enterprise, and ask lily himself, but I'll know this ungracious fellow's name and habitation.  
What! no news yet? nobody come to bring me tidings of his discovery? he is certainly concealed in some infernal cave, or run and hid his head in the remotest part of the earth for his safety: but what ever is betide him, I am fully resolved to know his name, if the wizard himself knows it, and suddenly too (for I intend to be brief) wherefore I'll try all the skill I have, and use what art I can invent to accomplish my designs. By the virtue of Hocus pocus, lily, Arise, and answer for thyself; wilt thou not? Jubeo. What! not yet? so he Mr. Lilly, Mr. Lilly, I say once again Surge. No apparition yet? I see I am not a tright artist, yet methinks I hear a noise, what! William Lily? you are very welcome, pray sit down, I have have one question to ask you, and so have done, I'd very feign know the colonel's name thou writ'st with Th. in thy late story, that's all my business, prithee resolve me; ha! what is it? how now, never a word? what▪ stark mute? why lily, lily, what do you call him?— nothing at all, truly I think so.  
Behold the grand arch wizard lilies dumb,  
And for himself can answer nought but mum:  
He's discontented, looks just like an ass,  
And's vexed he can't invent a name, alas!  
he's mightily d●jected, &c. (vade lily)  
Well seeing 'tis so I cannot hear of any name he has, I'll try myself to invent one for him.   

One word to the Coll.  
Colonel Th-inchopps (truly 'tis a little too good) but however it shall serve; what! good man impudence, art thou a Gentleman, a scholar, a Cavalier, and hast so brazen fac'tly, and insolently, abused all three; it is well thou hast no being, 'tis well thou livest I know not where, and art I know not what, 'tis well I say thy name is written so obscurely, else I had found thee long ere this, and been revenged on thee for the wrong committed against my brother Elenct. well, I'll say no more to thee till I know thee better, then look to thyself, but I think thou needst not fear.   

Another to lily himself.  
Why how now William Lily! what's the matter?  
That with the people thou thus seek'st to flatter?  
Is't cause thou'rt slandered with a tale of truth?  
Or is it for their welfare? no forsooth,  
So, I believe thee, tell thy mind again,  
Is't to deceive them only? tell us plain.  
Is it because thou'rt almost out of favour  
With all goodmen? or for thy misbehaviour.  
Tell me the reasons moved the to write  
This senseless book: was't for to vent thy spite  
'Gainst him that published thy deformities?  
And so to feign the lines he's written, lies:  
Was't to that purpose? 'twill not serve thy turn,  
Alas! 'tis nothing, for the book I'll burn:  
Was it for this, that thou desirest thy name  
Should be dispierct abroad? Tush I'll proclaim  
That oft enough: was't lastly for the wit,  
And eloquence, that is contained in it,  
That thou hast thus divulged it? I dare swear,  
For that in chief, 'twon't be esteemed rare.  
What was't then for? was't only to abuse  
One honester than thee? I now my muse  
Hath found it out, for which she'll vent her spleen  
And make the wish (perhaps) it near had been.  
Fie, out upon thee, for I much admire  
Thy haughty mind should to this height aspire;  
How couldst write such a piece of impudence?  
Empty of wit or reason, void of sense,  
Free from all honesty, full of sedition,  
Not any one thing in't makes apparition  
Of aught that's truth 'tis totally compild  
Of scandals, wrongs, abuses, words more vild  
Than I can well express; 'tis truly written  
In such a stile as though it were besh—  
Away, it stinks; I much abhor the thought,  
Of its base lines, and him by whom 'twas wrought.  
But yet I will so much abase my pen  
As write the baseness of (thee) worst of men;  
Why hast thou so divulged thou puny elf  
Thy bashlesse lies abroad, was it thyself  
Did it alone? or was't the instigation,  
Of thy grand Daddy Pluto caused thy passion,  
'Twas he that wrought this folly in thy brain,  
Which now thou hast ejected, but in vain.  
Not all thy black infernal magic spells,  
Fetched from Gehenna, where the devil dwells,  
Not all thy Figures, Characters, or heart  
Of deep Astronomy, nor any part  
Contained in thee, nor yet thy cap and staff,  
Or ought thou hast else, shall but make us laugh;  
Not thy delusive words, nor one of these,  
Or thy familiar Mephistopheles,  
Shall aught avail thee for the people know  
Thee very well, not to believe thee so,  
'tis better that against another season  
Thou'dst write a line that might but sent of reason;  
But that thou canst not do, monstrous wizard,  
That look'st as though thou worest the devil's vizard:  
Thou great hobgoblin, and the only imp  
Of mighty Lucifer, hell's chiefest pimp,  
Thou Mountebank thou juggler, sole Magician,  
Thou necromancer, our state's politician,  
Thou scarecrow, bugbear, hobby horse; thou sot,  
Thou cunning, crafty fellow, and what not?  
Thou Astrologian, false Astronomer,  
Depart my thoughts, vade celeritèr.  
I'm e vexed I have bestowed my pen and ink  
On such a subject, to produce a stink  
Throughout my book; but surge once before  
Thou goest, that I may speak and say no more,  
Now I have done, only let me advise  
Thee, not to write of aught beneath the skies,  
And as thou art a civil Cavalier  
Keep thee within the compass of thy sphere  
And not transgress again, as thou hast done,  
And so thyself in further danger run.  
Use my directions, and in time repent  
Of this with which thoused wronged the innocent;  
Do ask forgiveness for thy faults committed,  
That thou according to it mayst be pitied.  
So I myself will be, if thou'lt do thus,  
Thy friend Mercurius Melancholicus.  
FINIS.