A METHOD AND INSTRUCTIONS for the Art of Divine Meditation, WITH Instances of the several Kinds of Solemn MEDITATION.  
By THOMAS WHITE Minister of God's Word in London.  
May 28. 1655.  
Imprimatur,  
Edm. Calamy.  
LONDON, Printed by A. M. for Joseph Cranford at the Sign of the Phoenix in St Paul's Church yard, near the Little North. Do't, 1655.   

To the Reverend and my much Honoured BRETHREN & FATHERS the Presbyterian Ministers Of the GOSPEL within the Province of LONDON.  
Brethren and Fathers,  
I Have long since seriously considered (since the Church hath been so much divided among us) with whom to close, and where to fix; and I have endeavoured to observe both the public and private actions, the Tenants and conversations of those Ministers that were of divers judgements, and I do publicly profess, that those Ministers which have and still do own Provincial Assemblies, are for their Piety, Orthodoxness, Christian Simplicity, for their powerful, spiritual, frequent, practical Preaching eminent: These are the things which long ago have made me cordially to honour you, though since my intimate acquaintance with many of you hath much increased and confirmed my high thoughts of you, and I think I may confidently say, that under the whole Heaven there is not any City or Nation to be found, that may be compared to London and England, for powerful, spiritual, practical Preaching; And I may say, that the Ministry of England is the Glory of the world, and that London is the Paradise of England; yet though I have long honoured you, I have not had any opportunity to testify it, therefore I thought good, having this small Treatise to publish, with it to publish how much I honour you; Though I am very sensible how little my judgement can add to the just esteem that the people of God have of you: My desires and prayers to God are and shall be, that as to your enemies you may be as John Baptists, that though they love you not they may fear and reverence you, being awed by the Image of God that appears in the Majesty and power of your Preaching, and in the holiness of your lives and conversations, and that all the people of God may more and more highly esteem you in love for your works sake, and that the Doctrine which you preach from the word of God, may be delivered with such evidence and demonstration of the Spirit, that the mouths of gainsayers may be stopped, and that your lives and Conversations may more and more abound with such Sincerity, Simplicity, Meekness, Gravity, Humility, and Christian Prudence, that the faces of those may be covered with shame that speak evil of you; These are the desires of him who is,  
Your Fellow-Labourer in the Work of the Lord, Thomas White.   

A METHOD OR INSTRUCTIONS for the Art of Divine Meditation.  

CHAP. I. What Meditation is.  
FIRST, It differs from occasional Meditation, such as these; If one heareth the clock strike to think with ones self, how many thoughts have I had of God this hour? 2. I am one hour nearer my grave, and the Lord only knows whether I may have another hour to live or no.  
1. These are fare shorter, like ejaculatory prayers, which though they are as Parenthesises in our worldly employments, yet they signify more than all the rest of the business we are employed in, but meditation is generally of longer duration then ordinary solemn prayer.  
2. Such occasional Meditations are things that we have in transitu, and this that I speak of is a solemn set duty.  
3. The Subject from which occasional Meditations arise, are very frequently things artificial, civil or natural, indeed any thing that we see or hear; but the Subjects of Meditation are only spiritual.  
Secondly, It differs from study.  
1. In respect of the Subject, Wicked men study, and it may be more than Godly men; Wicked men study, and Godly men meditate; Nay it is the very distinguishing sign between Saints and others, Psa. 1.2. and I believe 'tis a thing far more rare for a meditating Christian to be an hypocrite, then for a Christian that spends much time in prayer, especially if it be public.  
2. As for the matter of prayer and study they are very different. 1. Study is of all manner of things, whether natural, civil, mathematical, etc. but Meditation is only of matters that concern our eternal welfare. 2. The matters that we most study are those Truths that are most knotty and difficult, and generally such as afford little spiritual nourishment, as Criticisms, Chronologies, Controversies, etc. but the matter of Meditation is plain and of great spiritual advantage. 3. The end of Study is knowledge, the end of Meditation is holiness: If one sees a Learned man, one may conclude, that that man hath studied much; If one sees a devout holy man, one may conclude, that that man hath meditated much.  
Thirdly, It differs from Contemplation.  
1. Contemplation is more like the beatifical Vision which they have of God in Heaven, like the Angels beholding of the face of God; Meditation is like the kindling of fire, and Contemplation more like the flaming of it when fully kindled: The one is like the Spouses seeking of Christ, and the other like the Spouses enjoying of Christ.  
2. Contemplation is one effect and end of Meditation.  
3. Meditation is like the Bees flying to several flowers, or one smelling to flowers particularly or severally; and Contemplation is like the smelling of them all in a Nosegay, or like the water that is distilled from them all. The Spouse in her description of Christ is like to Meditation, her concluding that he is altogether lovely is like to Contemplation; Therefore to conclude, Meditation is a serious solemn thinking and considering of the things of God, to the end we might understand how much they concern us, and that our hearts thereby may be raised to some holy affections and resolutions.  
Now there are four kinds of solemn Meditation according to the four several Subjects of it.  
1. Some solemn Meditations are on Sermons that we hear, which is a very useful and necessary practice for Christians; and it is better to hear one Sermon only, and meditate on it, then to hear two, and meditate of neither; but for setting down a method for meditating on Sermons, is neither necessary nor possible, since the method of Sermons are various, and they are to observe in their Meditation the method of the Sermon they meditate upon; All that I shall say therefore in this particular, is only this, that the end of such Meditations is neither only, nor chief, that we may the better fix the Substance and heads of the Sermon in our memory, nor that we may the better understand and fuller be instructed of the truth of that point that is preached upon, but especially to work those truths, advices, and motives, etc. upon our affections that are proposed to us in the Sermon.  
2. The second kind of Solemn Meditation is, when upon some providential occasion, or upon spiritual distemper or temptation, or almost any thing of that nature, we retire ourselves, and power out our souls in Prayers, Soliloquies, etc. which may not but in a very large sense be called prayer, being mixed of such various and different parts; sometimes speaking to God, and telling him how we stand affected to him and his Ordinances, sometimes speaking to our own soul, chiding, encouraging, or instructing of it; Sometimes speaking to ourselves, what we resolve to do, what we intent to say to God, etc. all these you may find in Psa. 42. and many more of that nature, both in that and other Psalms, which may not properly be called prayers, but solemn occasional Meditations, and the occasions of those Meditations are set down ofttimes in the beginning of the Psalm; and they differ from those occasional Meditations of which I spoke in the beginning of this Chapter, only in their duration and solemnity, as solemn prayers do from ejaculatory prayers; and to set down any method for these is not convenient, because they observe no method, and differ very little in any thing else from that kind of Meditation for which in this Treatise Directions and Instances are largely set down; yet I thought good to set down several Instances of this kind of Meditations, having them by me, being taken from one who I suppose little thought that any besides God and himself knew what he said.  
3. The third kind of solemn Meditation are those that are upon Scripture, the directions for that kind of Meditation I have particularly set down in a little Manual entitled, A Directory to Christian Perfection, and have pursued those Directions in one instance, set down in this Treatise, and would have set down more but that I was not willing it should swell above the bigness of a small Manual.  
4. The fourth and last kind of Meditation is upon some practical truth of Religion, many directions for which, and many instances of which are set down in this Treatise.   

CHAP. II. That Meditation is a Duty.  
THat this is a duty is evident, 1. From the practice of God's people, Gen. 24.63. that this was a solemn Meditation is evident, because he went out into the fields to perform it, and had no other business there but this; 'Tis not said when he was in the field he meditated, as if it were occasional, but to show that it was a set duty, 'tis said that he went out to meditate.  
2. 'Tis commanded Josh. 1.8. and this duty of Meditation is set down as a chief means sanctified of God for the keeping of the Law.  
3. It is as a Characteristical difference between a wicked man and a Saint.  
4. To consider in Scripture and to meditate are Synonima's, and the necessity of it appears in this, because that the cause of sin is the want of consideration and not want of knowledge, Isa. 1.3. and 'tis not much for us to hear Sermons, nay, though we be never so attentive, it will not serve the turn, Psa. 45.10. It is more than to know, for who is there almost in the world that knows not that he must die, but how few are there that consider it? Deu. 32.29.  
5. The necessity of Meditation appears in this, that no man is converted without Meditation; for every one that is converted, the method is this. 1. He hears the Truths of God. 2. He is convinced, of them. 3. He considers and meditates upon them, and sees how much they concern him. 4. He is affected with them. 5. Being thus affected it raiseth holy resolutions of better obedience.  
But it will be Objected, alas, I am not Book-learned, how shall I perform this duty of Meditation? This is rather for Ministers, etc.  
Ans. I may say of Meditation as 'tis said of the Mathematics, He that is a rational man, and doth but improve his reason, though he hath neither tongues nor arts to help him, may understand and grow to an extraordinary excellency in those Arts; So he that hath grace, if he do but exercise and improve it, though he hath not learning, will excel the learnedest man in the world that hath not grace in the duty of Meditation; 'tis not learning but devotion that enables a man to this duty.  
2. Can a man be a blessed man without Learning? then he may meditate without it, Psa. 1.2.  
Ob. But 'tis a very hard Duty,  
Ans. 1. That shows it to be an excellent duty, for the harder any duty is, the more excellent; the hardness consists in this, that 'tis contrary to our corruptions, and the more contrary any thing is to that which is bad, 'tis so much the better.  
2. Can you expect any duty should be easy at first? Is there any thing so of temporal things which are of any excellency, as Writing, Playing on the Lute, & c?  
3. Because 'tis so powerful to mortify corruptions; sweet things nourish, and bitter things purge: therefore if you will only perform those duties that are delightful, they will nourish not purge out corruption.  
4. Get but your hearts inflamed with the love of God, than this duty will not only be easy and delightful, but it will be a duty that you cannot tell almost how to avoid, for it is as hard not to think of what one loves as to think of what one hates; Bid the covetous man not think of his money, or bid him think of the things of God, and he will find an equal difficulty in both. Indeed the love of God and desire of heavenly things are got by Meditation, but when once our hearts are inflamed by Meditation, than our Meditations are inflamed by love: As an Oven is first heated by fuel, and then it sets the sewell on fire, and as with the fuel you must put in fire and blow it, but afterwards it kindles of itself, so the difficulty of Meditation is at first: when there is but as it were a spark of love in the heart, it will cost him some pains by meditation to blow it up to a flame, but afterwards the heart will be so heated with these flames of love, that it will so inflame all the thoughts, that it will make us not only easily but necessarily to meditate on the things of God.  
5. The people of God generally have found a great deal of difficulty in praying without a form at first. Many godly Ministers used a set Form Form of Prayer before their Sermons not many years since, and when they and private Christians came to pray at first without a Form, they found a strangeness and an unreadiness thereunto; So it is in Meditation, Christians being not used to it, it will seem a strange and difficult work unto them, but I may say of it as it is said of the yoke of Christ, Grave cùm tollis, suauè cùm tuleris, thou wilt find it very delightful or at least very profitable.  
Ob. But if it be such a necessary duty, how comes it to pass that it hath been so generally neglected by the peo-ple of God.  
Ans. It hath been practised by the people of God both in Scripture, as is proved, (and it is evident that the Psalms of David are frequently nothing but Meditations, though not in this method) and by many in our days.  
2. It being a private Closet-duty, the omission nor performance of it could be taken notice of, and so the omission of it could not be reproved nor performance observed.  
3. The Directions and Instructions for Meditation have been generally very abstruse and intricate.   

CHAP. III. Preparatory Directions concerning some Circumstances belonging to Meditation.  
1. FOR the place, that must be private, remote from company and noise; Isaac went into the fields, our Saviour into a garden, and David wisheth us to enter into our Chamber, and be still. Psa. 4.4. and our Saviour bids us enter into our Closet, and shut the door, the place must be such as must be remote from noise and company, or any thing which might distract us in the duty; and such a place that we may not be interrupted or forced to break off, before the duty be ended, it must be also private and remote from the observation of others, so that we may neither be heard nor seen, because there are divers gestures and expressions, which are not convenient for any one but God and one's own soul to be privy to: Which of those places you find to be most advantageous to you in the matters of Meditation you may choose.  
2. For the Time when; The best is in the morning. 1. Because it is the first-fruits of the day, and the first-fruits being holy, all the rest are sanctified. 2. Because our thoughts being then not soiled with worldly business, will not be so subject to be distracted. 3. Because the body itself is more serene then after meals, and this duty needs an empty stomach, not only because the head will be more clear and fit for Meditation, but also because many passages of Meditation require so much intention of the mind and fervency of affection that they do hinder digestion. 4. Because that it being in the morning will have an influence upon the whole day, but this is not an universal rule; for we read that Isaac went forth in the evening to meditate, Gen. 24.63. and in case the subject of your Meditation be a Sermon, then if it may be the best time is immediately after the hearing of it before your affections cool, or your memory fail you.  
2. For the how long, considering the parts of Meditation are so many, viz. preparation, considerations, affections, resolutions, etc. and none of them are to be passed slightly over, for affections are not quickly raised, nor are we to cease blowing the fire as soon as ever it begin to flame, until it be well kindled, half an hour may be thought to be the least for beginners, and an hour for those that are versed in this duty; But there are two rules in this particular especially to be observed. 1. That as we ought not to leave off our prayers before that temper and frame of heart is wrought, which is suitable to the matter of our prayers, viz. we should not leave off the confession of sin till our hearts are made sensible of and humble for our sins, nor should we leave off our praises until our hearts are filled with holy admirings and adore of God, and inflamed with his love; So the end of Meditation being affections and resolutions, we should not leave off until those are wrought. 2. As in private prayer, so long as we find our hearts enlarged by the pourings of the Spirit of Supplication upon us, we are not to leave off unless by our continuance in that duty we must omit another duty to which we were more particularly obliged at that time; So in Meditation as long as we find the heart affected we are to continue it: But this Caution must be given, that in such enlargements we must not continue them longer generally than while they come freely and without much straining and compulsion, for that honey that comes freely of itself from the comb is pure, but that which is forced by heat and pressure is not so well relished, but this Caution is for extraordinary enlargements, for if the heart be dead, we must use all means to awaken it; But as fire must be blown till it be well kindled, but afterwards blowing hinders the boiling of any thing that is set over it, So when once our hearts are inflamed and enlarged with holy affections in an extraordinary manner, 'tis but a hindrance to our affections to return to the Meditation of those Points that raised them.   

CHAP. IV. Rules for the Subject. The Division of and Reasons for this Method of Meditation.  
1. BY no means let it be Controversy, for that will turn Meditation into Study.  
2. Nor nice speculations, for they be sapless, without nourishment: besides being so light they float in the brain, having no weight to sink them down into the heart, and indeed were they there they have nothing in them to affect the heart withal.  
3. Let the Subject of Meditation be the plainest, powerfullest, and usefullest Truths of God, as death, hell, heaven, judgement, mercies of God, our own sins, the Love and Sufferings of Christ, etc.  
4. Let the Subject of your Meditation be that that is most suitable to your spiritual wants; as in the time of desertion, meditate most of the love and mercies of God, etc.  
Rules for Meditation itself, they are of three sorts. 1. Preparatory. 2. For the body of the duty. 3. For the Conclusion.  
Two things by way of preparation besides the choice of the Subject, the first is to be convinced of and to be affected with the presence of God: The second is prayer for assistance from God. 2. For the body of Meditation itself, it consists of three parts; The first I call Consideration, which is nothing but the convincing our hearts of several Truths that belong to that Subject whereof we meditate: As as if the subject of our Meditation be death, the considerations may go thus, alas O my Soul, how, and when, and where we shall die we know not, generally men die sooner than they expect, and certain it is, whensoever that hour comes, we must bid adieu to honours, pleasures, riches, friends, and at last our own bodies, etc. The second part is affections, whether it be love of God or Christ, or spiritual things, despising of the world, admiring of God or any other spiritual affection: The third part are Resolutions to do this or that, or leave this or that; Now that this is the most proper and genuine way of Meditation appears by this. 1. Because it is not artificial and such as requires Learning, as those Directions are which wish us to consider the efficient, final, formal, material cause of death, the adjuncts, concomitants, etc. which though they may somewhat help the learned, yet such hard words and artificial methods fright the ignorant: 1. This is the very method of those Meditations by which every one that is brought home to God is converted; For the first thing in conversion is our being convinced of some Truths, which conviction raiseth affections, for if the truths of God end in conviction, and go no further, nay, if they end in affections only, and never come to resolutions of shunning evil and doing good, conversion can never be perfected, as for example, One is convinced that he is a miserable undone wretch by reason of original and actual abomination, Upon this conviction fear and sorrow are raised, yet if these do not work in us a firm resolution of leaving those sins, we are yet in our sins and unconverted. 3. There are several things for the concluding of Meditation, as shall appear.   

CHAP. V Directions for the working of our hearts to be convinced of and affectedwith the presence of God.  
1. FOR being convinced of and affected with the presence of God, it may thus be wrought.  
1. We are to consider that God is present every where, as truly, really, and essentially as he is in heaven; For God did not create heaven to confine him but to manifest his presence, for the Heaven of Heavens are not able to contain him, for God is neither included by, nor excluded from any place, and though Jacob saith, Surely the Lord was in this place, and I knew it not, Gen. 28.16. yet we must not imagine that Jacob was ignorant of that truth, but did not actually consider it; but David in the 139. Psalm is clear in explaining and clearing up the omnipresence of God. 2. We must consider that God doth more peculiarly observe his people, while they are performing of heavenly duties, whether it be, while they are speaking unto him, or he speaking unto them, he doth then more especially observe the motion and frame of their hearts, as when we are in any company we do more especially look upon and observe those to whom we speak, or who speak to us; yet this is to be understood not as if God did observe us more at one time then another, in respect of God's knowledge itself; but thus, that God is much more offended with us, if our carriage and frame of heart be more irreverent, and unholy in the time of prayer and Meditation, then at such times as we are in the works of our particular calling.  
3. We may consider with ourselves that Christ doth actually behold us, especially in these duties of holiness, for it is not the distance of place that doth hin-christs' knowledge and exact observing of us. Little did Nathanael think that Christ saw him under the Figtree, Nathanael did not see Christ, nor was he corporally present then, yet Christ behold Nathanael when he prayed, so Christ beheld Steven before the heavens were opened, and the opening of the heavens was not that thereby Christ might be enabled the better to behold Steven, but that Steven might thereby be the better enabled to see that Christ looked on him; without all controversy God knows and observes with what reverence, faith, love, etc. we pray, for else our prayers would be in vain, and our faith also vain, for how could he give us according to our faith if he knew not how much our faith were? If the inward frame of our hearts were not observed by him, than an hypocrite that hath better expressions should get more by his prayers, than a true Nathanael that hath a better heart.  
4. Suppose that thou hadst lived in Christ's time, or suppose that Christ were now in England, consider with what joy, reverence, and confidence thou wouldst go to him for the pardon of thy sins, or for any other mercy thou stoodst in need of; Thou mayst go so to him now, his distance from thee in respect of corporal presence doth not make him less able to know thy wants, or hear thy prayers, nor his being now glorified makes him less willing to grant them then if he were bodily present in the room with thee in the form of a Servant, as he was once at Jerusalem: the glory of Christ doth not hinder his love and goodness, for Chtist is the express image of his Father, and God Attributes do not hinder one another; The Majesty of God doth not set bounds unto his goodness, and make that finite, nor doth his goodness make his Majesty less glorious, his goodness makes his Majesty more amiable, and his Majesty makes his goodness more wonderful; So neither doth the exaltation of Christ cause him to abate any thing of his goodness unto his people, but if any way his love be altered, it is by being made more than it was, and when Christ was upon earth, you must have come to him by faith, or you could obtain no mercy from him, and by faith though he be in heaven you may obtain any mercy now: You may consider any one or two or more of these considerations, until your heart be so convinced of and affected with the presence of God, that you may thereby be the better fitted for the carrying on the duty of Meditation more effectually.   

CHAP. VI Concerning the Preparatory Prayer that is to be used before Meditation.  
THE next Preparatory consideration is Prayer, and it is to be performed in these words, or to like purpose: Lord, my design in this duty of Meditation is not to be an hour sequestered from worldly employments, for that were to be idle an hour, and to increase my sins not my graces, but my business at this time is to be so convinced and affected with those spiritual Truths revealed in thy Word, that I may fully resolve by thy strength and power to reform my life, because I can neither understand the things that belong to my peace, nor understanding them, be convinced of the certainty and truth of them; Nay Lord, though my understanding be enlightened, yet without thee mine affections cannot be inflamed; I can neither know, resolve, nor perrform what is good without thee, for from thee comes both the will and the deed, of thy good pleasure, I beseech thee Lord that thou wouldst give me thy grace to make conscience of performing this duty with my whole strength, and not carelessly and perfunctorily; And Lord do thou enlighten me with and convince me of thy Truths, and so affect my heart with the love of holiness and hatred of sin, etc. that I may thereby be enabled fully, firmly (notwithstanding all the opposition that the flesh, world, or devil can make) to run the ways of thy Commandments with joy and with speed, and when thou hast wrought in me the will so to do, give me also the deed, and that I may not trust to the strength of my resolutions, but to the continual gracious assistance of thy Spirit for the performance of those things that through thee I shall resolve to do: Holy and blessed God, Christ hath sent me, wishing me to come to thee in his Name for any mercies I stand in need of; grant these things which I have begged for the Lord Jesus sake, Amen.  
This or a prayer to the like purpose thou art to put up unto God, but it is to be done with thy whole heart, for thou must know that it is by the strength which thou shalt get from God by prayer, whereby thou shalt be enabled to perform this or any other duty profitably, for it is he that teacheth us to profit, he that gins a holy duty without God, will end it without God also. It is a dangerous thing to think that we can by our natural parts, learning, or by the strength of grace already received, without God's further assistance perform any thing that can please God or edify our own sonls; For though our Mountain be made strong, yet if he shall hid his face there will be trouble. We may with much more sense say, Now the Sun shines so bright, and the air is so clear, that now we can do well enough for a while, though the Sun be eclipsed; then to say, though our hearts be never so much inflamed with the love of God, Now we are so filled and inflamed by his love, we shall do well enough by our own strength, for the present we need not Gods further assistance; Give us but fuel, matter to meditate of, and we shall be able to continue and increase our flames: Do not account it a burden but a mercy and privilege, that God hath necessitated and commanded thee always to draw strength from him.   

CHAP. VII. Of Consideration.  
1. THey must be plain Considerations, not intricate and abstruse: For the main end of Meditation being the affecting of our heart, and reforming of our lives, and not informing of our understandings, our considerations should be so plain, that they may be without difficulty understood.  
2. It must be certain and evident, not controversal and doubtful; for the end of Meditation is not properly to increase our knowledge but to improve our knowledge.  
3. Much less should our considerations be curious and nice speculations, or if we choose any Book, by reading whereof to help our Meditation, we must not choose such as are filled with flourishes and Rhetoric, for let a truth be dressed never so curiously, the wit and eloquence wherewith the truth is clothed, leaves the truth before it comes to the heart; as some meats that are made in curious works are spoiled of all those curiosities before they come to the stomach; and the Bee lights not upon the Rose which hath the freshest colour, and the sweetest smell, but upon the thyme that is an Herb of little Beauty; Besides Eloquence to them that meditate is much like pictures in Books to Children, they neglect their lesson to look on their pictures, they will be looking on the pictures while they should be getting their lesson; so the fancy will be playing with the Eloquence, when the heart should be feeding on and affected with the truths we read. The less time the truth stays in the Understanding, the better; for the work of the Understanding in this business is not to retain, but to convey the Truths to the heart; As Physicians use when they are to give medicines to cure any disease in the bladder, they give such as may soon come to the part affected, for if they stay by the way they lose their virtue, before they come to the part which they should cure; So if the Understanding shall stay dallying with the Eloquence or searching out the meaning or certainty of the truth it considers any long while, the heart will lie cold and unaffected all that while: It is somewhat like that Story concerning Musicians that were to play before the Emperor of the Turks, who were so long tuning their Instruments which they should have done before, that he would not stay to hear their music; Therefore let the Truths you consider of to raise affections be plain, certain, nourishing.  
4. The 4th Rule is, that in case any doubt ariseth upon a plain known Truth (for Satan will be subject to cast in doubts against the most evident Truths) then do as the Archangel did with Satan, you may enter the lists with Satan, and it may be when you have a little considered and disputed the matter, the mist may vanish, and the Sun shine clear, and Satan being resisted will presently fly: but if Satan shall still wrangle, and your blasphemous doubts shall not be removed, then dispute no more, but say as the Archangel did, the Lord rebuke thee Satan: As a woman that is attempted to be ravished will strive and struggle a while, and if she finds that she can quickly get lose, she flies, but otherwise she cries out for help; The Archangel first disputed, but when that would not speedily prevail, appealed unto God; To this purpose it is good to be exceedingly well grounded in Truths from the Word of God, for that is the Sword of the Spirit, and that by which our Saviour silenced Satan in all his temptations. 'Tis a dangerous thing to dispute with Satan by humane reason, we must put on the Armour of God, if we will be able to stand in the evil day of temptation, and when all is done to stand.  
5. The fifth Rule is, that we should not over-multiply our considerations, but as soon as by considering of the Truths of God we find our hearts strongly affected, than we are to pass over that part: but this Caution must be observed, that we must not as soon as we find our heart never so little affected, leave off our considerations; The Bee will not go from the flower as long as any honey is easily drawn out of it: and indeed it is a temptation which the people of God ought to take notice of; That Satan is subject to make one pass over duties before we have drawn half the strength of them, as for example, When we are confessing of our sins, as soon as ever our hearts begin in the least measure to be humbled, he fills them with joy, such joy may generally be suspected to be from Satan or our own naughty hearts, not from God: Corn when it springs up too fast, and grows rank, husbandmen cut it down, a corrasive that is laid on to eat dead flesh must not be taken off as soon as it gins to smart, the Wheat in the stony ground did soon spring up; We should let our considerations take deep root, and not pass over to affections and resolutions as soon as ever they take hold of our heart, but it is always to be remembered, that in case our affections be very much inflamed, as soon as ever we begin our considerations we are to yield to the Inspirations of God, and to follow the leading of the Spirit; for this method that is set down, is not to bind up and limit the extraordinary working of the Spirit of God; but if our hearts be only a little moved, we must do as I have said, not leave blowing the fire as soon as ever it gins a little to be kindled, for green wood (for such are we in spiritual matters) will suddenly go out unless it be very well kindled.   

CHAP. VIII. Concerning Affections.  
KNowledge is for Consideration, and Consideration is to raise Affections, and the end of Affections are Resolutions, as the end of Resolution is Action and the reforming of our lives; Our Affections are various according to the Subject we meditate of; Sometimes we admire God's goodness, his Majesty, his Wisdom, Sometimes we admire and wonder at our own folly and madness, that we should live so contrary to our own principles, that those Truths that God revealed unto us on purpose that we might improve them to our eternal welfare, we should lay by as things forgotten and useless; as if one that had a receipt to cure the stone, and were convinced of the excellency and efficacy of it, yet should make no other use of it but to read it over and lay it by; Sometimes the affection is despising the world, and abhorring ourselves in dust and ashes, sometimes forrow, sometimes joy, love, fear, etc. which you may find abundantly in the Psalms of David, which were but David's Meditations though not in this Method; Now as soon as our affections are much stirred and raised, it is time to pass over to resolutions.   

CHAP. IX. Concerning Resolutions.  
Rule I.  
LEt your Resolutions be firm and strong, not slieghty, let not them be velleities or wishes, but resolved pur poses or determinations; Do not say with thyself, Well, I see very well that the wrath of God comes upon the Children of disobedience, and I must to hell, or leave my taking of the Name of God in vain; I do not do well to swear, and I could wish I could leave it; but say thus with thyself, I am resolved by the blessing of God whatsoever comes of it; to leave my swearing; There is no dallying with God, nor giving a faint denial to sin; I have heard of one who hearing the sin of Swearing spoke much against by some in whose company he was, observed their discourse, and said, Well, by the blessing of God I will never swear more, and though he was a common Swearer before, he was never since heard to swear one Oath to this day.  
2. Let thy resolutions be for the time present, not for the future; Do not say, Well, I do intent to leave my drinking, but for the present I am engaged in such a meeting, and for that time I will do as I have done, but after that I will think of it, and take some order for mending of it; this is but one of Satan's wiles whereby he coseneth thee of thy whole life by days, which he could not do by years; If Satan should say unto thee, Thou shalt never repent, never leave thy drunkenness, it may be it would startle thee, and he would be in danger of getting nothing of thee by ask so much: but he tempting thee only to let it alone this Week, and afterwards for a week longer, etc. he obtains the same thing at several times which he could not obtain at once.  
3. The third Rule, Let thy resolutions be not only against thy sin but against the means, occasions, and temptations to it; for it is better to discern Satan, if it may be, then to put a Sword in his hand, and say, thou canst well enough defend thyself against him: This is Solomon's advice, He doth not say to him that would fly Adultery, You may talk with a harlot, but Be not enticed by her words to uncleanness, he will not give thee leave to go into her house, or so much as by her door, Pro. 5.8. So when he dissuadeth the drunkard from drunkenness, he wisheth him not so much as to look upon the Wine; For as the beauty of a harlot, so the colour of wine will inflame our desires after it, Prov. 23.31. after this manner did Job resolve, I have made a Covenant with mine eyes that I will not look on a woman, and he resolved not only against the sin itself but against the beginnings and temptations to the sin, Job 31.1. and God forbidding the Nazarites wine, forbade them to eat grapes, lest by that they should be enticed to drink wine. Now that I may press this Rule, I shall answer an Objection which generally wicked men are subject to make, as thus, When we persuade a Drunkard that he would leave his drunkenness, that he would for two or three Months resolve not to go into Tavern or Alehouse, he cries out of preciseness, and saith, What, do you count it a sin to drink in a Tavern or Alehouse? I answer therefore,  
1. That when our hearts are affected with the sinfulness of sin, and wrought up to a hatred of it, we do as when we exceedingly hate any man, we avoid all those places where we are likely to meet him; I may bid such an one ask God why he forbids the adulterer to walk by the doors of the harlot; May he not say, Why, she lives in such a street, and as honest and godly men walk that way as in any other place in the City?  
2. Consider that Licitis perimus omnes is a good saying, we generally perish by lawful things, for in things that are unlawful we are generally more watchful.  
3. Those things that may be lawful to others may not be so to thee; Meats that are most nourishing to men in health, are poison to one in a Fever.  
4. Know this, that though to be tempted be not a sin, yet when we have found by experience that going to a Tavern, etc. hath been a snare and temptation that hath generally prevailed over us, then to be tempted with such a temptation is a sin though one yields not, because by going into temptation which we need not, we sin; for if one shall say I resolve that though I do speak with the harlot, I will not consent, though thou dost so, and resistest all her enticements, thou sinnest notwithstanding, for thou plainly breakest the Command, Pro. 5.8.  
5. But suppose that it were lawful for thee to drink wine in a Tavern that hast been so often ensnared by it, yet one effect of true repentance is an holy revenge, by debarring ourselves those things which are lawful, taking God's part against ourselves, 2 Cor. 7, 11.  
6. Consider that if thy hatred of sin and love of God be not strong enough to stop thee from the beginnings, and keep thee from the occasions of sin, how canst thou expect that it should keep thee from committing the sin itself, when it hath got some advantage over thee. He that cannot stop himself at first, will much less (when he hath rolled down a steep hill half way) be able to stop himself, for than he falls with more violence, and the same strength to hold will not serve then which would at first; therefore I shall still continue the advice, to resolve not only against the sin, but against the occasions, etc. But I must give you one caution, viz. that though you find your heart never so much resolving against and abhorring of any sin, yet take heed that you build not upon the strength of resolutions, but beg of God that he would enable you by his strength, and that as he hath given you the will, so he would give you the deed also. It was well observed by one, as follows.  
In effect it is true that we do understand many things by experience which we should not understand by knowledge, as this, I having oftentimes determined to do many things, the one more pious, holy, and Christian then another, and having seen for the most part the issue and effect to be quite contrary to what I determined; and on the contrary, observing that other pious and Christian things were done by me, without my praedetermination or forecast; I stood a it were confounded in myself, not understanding in what this secret did consist; I did not wonder that in things which I determined as a man, the contrary should come to pass of that which I would; but I did wonder that in the things which I determined as a Christian, the same should befall me; And finding myself in this confusion, it came to pass that I read that Resolution of Saint Peter, Though I should die with thee yet will I not deny thee; and considering that though the Resolution was pious, holy, and Christian, the contrary of that which he resolved befell him; I understand that my determinations had not their issue and effect according to my desire, because I did not well consider mine own utter disability to perform any holy and good work; So that I understood by experience, that although God punished my inconsiderateness in not suffering that to come to pass which I intended; yet on the other side he satisfied my general desire of doing good, by suffering that to come to pass which I did not procure, nor hope, nor pretend unto; Whence I have gathered, that the will of God is, that I should depend on him in such manner, that I should determine or propound nothing without holding him before mine eyes, showing unto him my good will, and referring unto him the issue and success of my desires and endeavours.   

CHAP. X. Directions for Vows.  
NOw because Vows do very frequently, especially in young beginners follow upon resolutions, and because that very many pious and religious persons have been ensnared by rash Vows, and after Vows it is not fit to make enquiry, therefore I shall set down some Cautions of, and Directions for Vows.  
1. As we have said concerning Resolutious, let your Vows be rather against the occasions of sin then against sin itself.  
2. When the subject of your Vows are of things indifferent in themselves,  
1. Take heed of making any perpetual vow, for the reason why you make any vows against any indifferent thing, as in drinking wine, &c, It is because than it was a snare unto you, but in process of time, it may cease to be a snare unto you, nay it may be a very great snare, and occasion sickness or death, not to drink it, as in some cases hath happened.  
2. Let all Vows concerning indifferent things be conditional, and let these two constantly be two of the conditions. 1. That you will abstain from such a thing, or do such a thing, unless you shall be otherwise advised by some godly Minister or private Christian. I knew a Religious woman that had vowed to read many Chapters every day; when she was unmarried she made this vow, but afterwards in the time of her lying in, and other weaknesses, the Chapters were so many, that she did much endanger the loss of her sight, and the neglect of all other duties, when her poverty and family grew great; Now had she added this Caution to her Vow, she might have been delivered out of that snare, and though it be true that in many cases a Vow may be dispensed withal, when we cannot keep it without sin, as in this case, one hath vowed a weekly secret Fast, one's health, or child with which one goes will certainly be destroyed by it, yet if it be but an inconvenience, though a very great one, it will not release one from ones vow; Now the reason why I add that condition (unless some Minister or for want thereof some other godly Christian shall otherwise advise) is because the several cases that may happen are so various that it is impossible to specify them all, or think of them all, and very difficult to judge of them all, when we make the Vow; And moreover if we should leave it to ourselves, we should be too partial, for as when our consciences are much touched for our sins, we are subject to be too violent in our spiritual revenges, so in a little time when that pang is over, we are subject to be too indulgent to ourselves, therefore it is better to say thus, Lord, I do vow unto thee, that I will keep every week a day of humiliation, or that I will not drink any wine this three month's next followiog, unless some such occasion shall be, that if it had then been, or then thought of when I made my vow, that such or such, or some other godly Minister would (had I consulted with him then) wished me not to have made that Vow; then to say, I will do this or that unless some such occasion be, that were the Vow to be made again, I would not make it. 2. Add this Caution, viz. If I remember it, I will not drink wine this month, the reason is, because if you drink wine, though you did not think of it, you sin if your vow be absolute, but if it be with that condition it is not a sin, and yet by adding that condition we give ourselves no liberty, since it is not in our power to forget it. The next Caution concerning Vows in indifferent things is this, add a penalty upon the breach of your Vow, which penalty is not added by way of hope of Satisfaction, that's gross ignorance and superstition, but it must run thus, I will spend half an hour a day in prayer for the Church to the end of this month, or else give so much to the poor, and in such a case if we do either we sin not: the reason why we should add a penalty it, because some inconveniences may be so great, that it would bring some very great mischief upon us, and then we have liberty to take the other part of the Vow, viz. to give so much to the poor; And now this penalty must 1. Not be too light and trivial, but it must be of such consequence that it may be a tye upon us, and yet not of so great weight as if it should happen, it might prove some great inconvenience to us; For a rich man to say he will give 6d to the poor is not considerable, and yet the same may be too heavy a burden for one that is very poor to give. The next Rule is, Let this penalty be always of something that is materially good, as giving to the poor, spending some time in reading of Scripture; for as for Popish penances, as whipping, Pilgrimages, and such like, they are unprofitable and ridiculous: The next Rule is, Let this penalty be always some holy duty that is most contrary to thy Master sin, as if thy Master sin be Covetousness, let it be alms; if it be voluptuousness, let it be fasting with prayer, or abstaining wholly for a time from that wherein thou most delightest, etc. The next Rule is, Let your Vows be rather against the outward than the inward acts of sin, rather against speaking angrily then being angry, for though inward acts of sin are worse, yet they are not so much in our power. The next Rule is, If your Vows are concerning doing holy duties, it is better to vow to spend so much time in reading holy Scripture, or such like, then to vow to read so many Chapters, for thou wilt be tempted to read them over too fast, that thou mayst have ended, whereas if it be, so much time that thou hast resolved to spend, thou wilt not be so subject to this temptation.   

CHAP. XI. Rules for the concluding of Meditation.  
1. THou art earnestly to beg of God strength to perform whatever thou hast resolved to do in his service; This must be done fervently, though briefly and humbly, proceeding from an earnest desire to do what thou hast promised and resolved, and also from an humble sense of thine inability to perform it.  
2. The second duty is thanksgiving, if thou shalt perceive any heavenly warmth of love or spiritual hatred of sin, or any other spiritual effect wrought in thy heart, thou art to give God the glory, and not to rejoice in thy self, but in the Lord, but thou art to rejoice with trembling, knowing that if thou art puffed up, though thou hast the will to do good wrought in thee, yet if thou provokest him, he can stop it, that thou shalt never be able to do what thou resolvest to do.  
The first is an humble acknowledgement of our failings in the performing of this duty; For if we were not geeen wood, that love which is now but a spark would have been a flame; God is not wanting unto us, but we are wanting to ourselves and him; After these are performed there remaineth three duties more.  
1. We are to remember what Vows and promises we have made, and it is very useful to write down all thy Vows (as thou makest them) in a Book, because that we shall else be subject to forget the Vow, or the time, or conditions upon which we made it; And it is good to have a Book to keep a Register of things in it (besides a Diary which I have spoken of, and given Rules for, in a Manual, entitled, A Directory to Christian Perfection. 1. Let one head be (for which you are to leave some leaves) for Vows, under which you must write all your Vows or Resolutions, as you make them, or spiritual promises for Christians, and such like. The second must be for the mercies of God, eminent deliverances, and also answers of Prayers; These are to be set down with all pertinent circumstances that may any way increase the mercy. The third head should be for grosser failings, which were good to be writ down, not in letters at length that every one may read them, but in characters known only to ourselves; There are other things which because I do not now speak purposely of that business I omit.  
The second thing after Meditation is ended, is, to remember what passages in our Meditation did most affect us, and as it were to lay them up in our thoughts, that frequently we may in the rest of the day think of them; As when we walk in a garden we content not ourselves with enjoying the fragrancy of the flowers while we are there, but if we may have leave we often gather a Nosegay to smell of the rest of the day. In this business of Meditation do thou likewise.  
The third duty after Meditation is by degrees warily and unwillingly to go out of the presence of God to worldly employments; Do not go from the presence of God as a bird out of the snare, with joy and with speed; And thou must go also watchfully and warily from such employments, as one that carries some precious liquor in a shallow, broad, brittle dish, he looks to his way, to the dish and liquor that is in it, lest by holding of it awry by falls or stumblings, he should spill the one or break the other; So must thou be watchful over thy ways, else the grace that God hath poured into thy heart in this duty will be spilt. To rush into holy duties or out of them, argues too great undervaluing of the things of God.    

Instances OF Solemn, Occasional MEDITATION.  

Meditation 1  
ALas my God I am in a sad condition, mine afflictions grow daily upon me, and that which is mine unsupportable misery, my corruptions, grow faster upon me than my affliction; What before made me weep will not now make me sigh; The heavy burden of a great abomination doth not lie upon me so much as before I was oppressed with a vain thought in my prayers: Alas Lord, alas, I am undone, alas my corruptions have almost made me love them, and make me weary of duties, and careless of graces, My joys are gone, and my sorrows are gone that were suitable to thy Word, and now my joys are but the laughter of fools, and my sorrows are carnal, sensual, and more of hell in them then of heaven, and as now I can scarce tell my sorrows, so have I scarce any sorrow to tell; I have sat down and wept to consider the great decays of holiness in me, but now I can see my God going from me, and whenas now he is even out of sight, mine eyes are as dry as my heart is hard; Alas Lord if thou wilt not return, thou wilt lose a poor soul that hath loved thee, and is somewhat troubled; Now poor sad soul that it is so wicked as it is.   

Meditat. II.  
Lord, thou seest the strange distempered temper of mine heart and spirit, ah blessed God I should take more comfort if I should see my heartblood running forth before mine eye, then to see mine eyes so dry and my heart so hard, I have worn out almost all motives to holiness, they now take no impression in me which before were too strong for me to bear, they ravished me which now do not move me: I scarce ever go to prayer but I have enough and too many spiritual complaints to employ it to express; If every day I had not just cause to bewail a continued decay of grace, I might have some respite of my griefs: But what shall I now do? When every day shall bear witness against me, and every night my sin shall go to bed with me, and lie in my bosom, and rise in the morning more strong then at night: Ah when my former holy life shall be more terrible than others wicked lives; When my former prayers shall be like the gall of Asps unto me, when those duties which should be my comfort are my terror: Alas what can my poor soul do? when my present sins and my past duties which of them are the heaviest burden unto me, I do not know, what shall I do? When I consider these things, than the thoughts of the affliction that lies upon me makes me weep a tear or two, and my vain heart, my deceitful heart, would persuade me that I weep for my sins: Those in desertion are in a blessed condition to me, they are sad and I am miserable; I am guilty of that which their consciences do but accuse them of: Alas, have I lost my communion with God? my sweet communion, and the power I had to prevail with him for any mercy almost that I prayed for? now I can pray, and pray, and pray, and go away without a blessing, I can almost be content to be wicked, Thou knowest mine heart or else my tears would deceive thee as well as me: If they are worldly thoughts that have estranged me from thee, thou knowest how to cure me; If mine utter impoverishing will cure me, let me be as poor as Job; If thou wast not such a Physician as thou art I was past thy cure.   

Meditat. III.  
Lord, I am come now to pour out my soul before thee, and my tears into thy bosom, to tell thee the sad thoughts and sorrows of my heart; Ah my God, In this bitterness of my soul, and with tears in mine eyes, and pride in my heart, and senselessness upon my spirit, I speak these things: Ah Lord, thou hast scourged me with scorpions, for my sins do increase as well as my afflictions, these afflictions to me are scorpions, to me they have poison in them, and at once I am scourged and stung with them, a sad ease it is when my punishment is heavier than I can bear, and yet notwithstanding I go from the presence of God too, and that more and more. My tears dry up in mine eyes, and my love goes out of my heart as soon as kindled; When the Candle of the Lord shined upon my Tabernacle in my first conversion, when the fire of thy love was kindled in my heart, I have had some discourses of devotion, that I was not able to bear the ravishment that the remembrance and meditation of them brought to my soul, now almost as full of sadness as then of joy: after those times, as those after the Flood, My joys and the acts and workings of my grace grew very short-lived in comparison of what they were before; Then they were Methusalems' for age, and sampson's for strength to what they are now; Before though I fell spiritually sick, and my strength and comfort was gone, yet I was sensible of my weakness, it was a pain and a grief unto me that I could not walk into the delightful garden of the Spouse, and to the sweet bed of his Spices; I could weep for want of tears; if not, I could mourn for want of sorrow, but now like a man that hath groaned and struggled so long that he can struggle no longer, but grown senseless, can hardly be perceived to breathe or live; If the sweetest music should be played by him, or the dearest friend in the world should come and ask him with tears in his eyes, Dear Husband, or Dear Wife, how do you? the poor sick one doth not so much as open the eye to see who it is that speaks, or if open them, they being presently heavy with death, fall down again, and he dies; So is it with my poor soul sometimes, I can hear my Saviour as it were saying unto me (for sometimes methinks I see him about my sick soul,) Ah poor Soul how dost thou do? Is my Joseph yet living? But alas, Lord, thou knowest I have scarce strength or life to lift up mine eye to thee, Lord, Can these bones live? Can these dry eyes weep? Can this frozen heart be inflamed?   

Meditat. IU.  
Lord, I am ashamed to consider what I know of thee, when I think what I do for thee: Ah my God, the cares of the world lie heavy upon me, Resolutions though never so strong are too weak to overcome my corruptions; Alas, I can scarce say any more than I have said in the confessing and bewailing my sad spiritual condition, though I have said nothing to what I should say, Have I not told thee Lord, with tears in mine eyes, and with a sad heart, that I found my corruptions get ground of me? my prayers, my tears, my resolutions, and some endeavours do resist but cannot overcome them, these keep them from prevailing so soon but not from prevailing; I humbly confess or desire so to do that I may complain to thee, but I should add to mine abominations exceedingly if I should complain of thee; Mine heart doth almost tempt me to it, when I consider what I was and what I am, It is as a Talon of Lead upon my Soul, yet since by my preaching thou art glorified, and thy people edified more than if I should spend all my time in private Meditation, I am willing to submit, only I do humbly beseech thee with tears in mine eyes, that though I have less time to spend in such private duties, yet that my poor soul may not lose her love to them, and though I perform fewer duties, I may not perform them worse than I did when I performed more.   

Meditat. V.  
I do much wonder at myself and at many, nay somewhat at all Christians upon days of humiliation, but most at myself to hear the tongue of a poor Christian confessing, and his eyes weeping for his sins, and speaking of them with such expressions and such sighs that one would think Surely this Christian keeps a strict Communion with God, surely he would not sin for a world, surely God is in all this man's thoughts: and yet stay but whilst he hath done his prayer, and you find in him such strong thoughts, words, and actions, that are almost incredible, lose and idle words, and vain thoughts, I but too often experience makes it even past hope it should be otherwise with me: If any Town that was straight besieged with cruel enemies, should send for aid to such or such, and when they came they should send out most of the Town to join with the enemy against those that came to help them, What we would say of such people, Lord, just thus are we, We have a world of corruptions and temptations, sin, and hell, and Satan, all beset us, all beset us, and violently assault us, we pray for the help of God against them day after day, We send our prayers to Heaven for assistance, Well, God doth send his holy Spirit to help this poor soul, In the Ministry of the Word tells us what we should do to overcome these enemies, and sends many motions of the Spirit to bring into our souls grace to strengthen us; We will not do what he adviseth us to do, nay, but we take part with our corruptions, and resist and fight against the power of the world to come; Oh thy patience is not to be understood, I am weary to think before I go to prayer, how little fruit I expect from them; I pray, and pray, and weep, and read, and hear, and sigh, and confess these as well as other of my sins, and yet as a Ship in the Sea they do divide my corruptions for the present, but they presently return to their former course; Lord, do not the bowels of thy compassion yern within thee to see me thy poor Servant in such a miserable condition as I am in? Dost thou not see how sin and corruption do as it were lie gnawing upon me, and eating up my very flesh, and destroying my soul, and I have neither hand nor foot to move against them? Lord, who is it that must make me hate corruption, is it not thy Spirit? Who must overcome my resisting of thy Spirit, is it not thy Spirit? Lord, I do not know in the world what to do, to leave off striving were not only to despair of thy goodness because thou dost not help as much and when I will, and besides if I cannot get ground, nay, though notwithstanding I lose ground, yet doubtless I shall not go so swiftly down stream as if I strove not at all: if I must be forsaken by thee to all Eternity, yet Lord, let me not while I live so fall that I should be a scandal to Religion; Alas, Is it come to this O my soul, that I must say, If God will forsake me for ever.   

Meditat. VI.  
In the most serious addresses of my soul to take hold upon God, I find an unhappy frozennesse benumb the best of my devotions, and thereby I show either that I am extremely ignorant of thee Lord, or what is worse, senseless of thee; The truth is I may justly tremble when I come to keep any day of humiliation in thy sight, not only because of the desperate sins I am gulity of, but specially because such duties do work little or nothing upon me, and this is sure enough, that those Ordinances that do not foften, do harden; I am in a great strait, my Conscience drives me upon duties, and I dare not omit them, and yet my heart is so hard and filthy that they do not purify me, So I am more defiled then before: Ah my God, thou knowest what afflictions are bitter and strong enough to purge these corruptions; Lord, send them, and though I am so vile that I do not now fervently and earnestly enough desire to be cured, but yet Lord I know my want of desires of Reformation is one of my greatest corruptions, I desire to be cured of that, or at least Lord, thy fatherly goodness I hope will take care to cure me of that, and Lord, this I know, that when thou shalt send any such affliction upon me, I shall it is too likely murmur and be weary of the chastisement of the Lord; It may be I shall pray for the taking off of that corrasive before it hath eaten away that deadness of heart and other corruptions that now lie upon me, yet Lord do not yield to such prayers, go on with thy cure, and if I be impatient cure that corruption also, and every other corruption that shall appear in the time of cure of any corruption: we shall bless thee one day for not hearing and not granting such prayers as shall be for our spiritual harm: Lord, Death is very bitter unto me, surely it would not be so bitter if there were no root of bitterness in me; If I kept a stricter communion with thee in this world, I should long for a full communion with thee in heaven for ever.   

Meditat. VII.  
Since our dear Lord Jesus Christ hath loved me and given himself for me, oh that my heart was ravished with his love, oh that he was the beloved of my soul, and that I were sick of his love who died for the love of me; Oh that I could not be stayed but with his flagons; This my Jesus the chiefest of ten thousand hath told me, that he that saw thee, saw the Father, whereby I understand that thou art just as he was, as pitiful, as gracious, as willing to forgive, as sweet and as easy to be entreated as my good Saviour; and in all the things and passages that thy Word hath made known to us of him, I read not of one of all that came to him, not one poor soul that ever begged any grace or any pardon, nor never did any come to be healed of any bodily disease in vain; Lord, thou art as he was, Lord Jesus thou art as thou wast, thy being in heaven makes thee not less like thy Father, or thyself; Blessed God, I do beseech thee, I do beseech thee to give me to give me thy poor hardhearted Servant a soft heart; Lord Jesus I beseech thee (thou seest mine hard my poor heart desire as imperfectly as coldly) to make Intercession for me, me, for whom thou hast paid a dear price, as one that hath been so long from his Friend, that he can hardly call to remembrance what countenance he hath, So I, poor I, that cannot choose but pity the sad condition of mine own heart, which though it doth not uncessantly and importunately desire grace as it should, yet methinks it is a sad thing to see it in such a careless temper, I am such a stranger to thee that I have much a do to make one thought of thy sweet love and excellencies that may affect my heart, and bring the sweet apprehensions of thee to remembrance. Thy tender mercies and former relishes of thy goodness are to me like the shadow of death, they are as Christ walking upon the waters, they terrify me; Lord let me weep thee to me again; Oh my God I am undone, undone, undone a poor undone creature; Those in desertion are in a thousand times better condition than I am, they want the comforts, but then indeed they have the graces of the Spirit, but is not my poor soul that wants both in a sad condition, that can sit down and fall asleep when I should seek my Saviour? I have a soul of such a temper as makes me wonder at myself, as in the Spring, and sometimes there will come a cloud that will seem to overspread the Heavens, and yet on the sudden all will be blown over, and the day so fair that there will not be a cloud to be seen; So am I, sometimes my heart is full of sorrow, and mine eyes full of tears, and yet upon the sudden my heart loseth that sweet sad temper, and all is blown over, and not a cloud appears, and these clouds of grief are not dispersed with the comforts and joys of thy Spirit, but with worldly business or company; when I do grieve for my sins, carnal grief bears a share in it, and carnal joy abolisheth it.   

Meditat. VIII.  
To confess my sins without any sense of them, without any hatred of them, to pray for grace, and not to be sensible of the necessity or excellency of it, to come to thine Ordinances without reaping any good from them, to think and meditate of thee, and neither admire nor love thee, nor long and delight to be in thy company, to what purpose are these things? thou desirest of us our hearts, and not our works, words, or thoughts, without that: Ah my Lord and my God, shall all be in vain, and wilt thou cast me off for ever? Dost thou hate my soul, and am I an abomination unto thee? Must I be shut out for ever, and never enjoy the sweetness of thy presence? Thou wilt not O my God, thou wilt not, thou canst not O my God, thou canst not, for thou hast made a Covenant with me, and I claim that Covenant, for I have not any thing in the world besides thy Covenant in the Lord Jesus Christ, that I can so much as have the least hope that will do me any good: If the Lord Jesus Christ did not sit at thy right hand to make Intercession for me, my sins continually, daily, hourly clamoring against me, and accusing of me, must needs prevail against me. Alas my heart is far from that spiritual frame that thou requirest, for the miseries that sin brings are more troublesome and heavy to me then the filthiness that is in sin; Thy blessings are more lovely in our eyes then thyself; Every duty hardens me in my formality; Lord, thou art the Father of mercies, oh have mercy upon me, for my case is not the common case of thy people, but few, few of many may be found whose soul is like my poor soul, for where is there any that can say so, and yet be so little affected as I am?   

Meditat. IX.  
Mine hopes are false, and my fears are true, the deadliest poisons do not make me sick, nor the excellentest cordials do not comfort me; I am not sick of sin, nor doth the Sacrament of the body and blood of Christ fill me with joy, nay, rather doth it not fill me with griefs and fears? If my sears and griefs were not carnal, would they were more, but my carnal joys eat out my spiritual grief, and my joys also: I am as it were like Absalon, I hang between heaven and earth, I would fain have heaven, and yet would not part with earth: Oh my Lord Jesus Christ, art thou of no more excellency in mine eyes? Doth thy love to me raise up no more love in me then to stand deliberating what to do, when thou standest with stretched out arms to receive me to thy bosom? Canst thou love one that loves thee so little as I do? Thou didst love me when I loved thee not at all: Why sittest thou so sad O my soul? Go cast thyself into the arms and bosom of the Lord Jesus Christ, there lie and hear the beat of his heart toward thee, and it may be thou mayst be warmed with the heat of his love; Christ pours out the boiling streams of his heartblood upon thy poor soul, for his heart boiled in love towards thee, and can thine heart still be frozen? Oh Infidelity thou art the poison of my soul, thou with thy cold blasts hast frozen mine heart, and keep'st it so; Lord give me faith, or else all thy mercies are in vain, Thy love is and hath been too great for me to believe: Lord, thou that lovest me so much as to give me Christ, oh love me so much as to give me faith to believe it; There remains in mine heart no more than the first spark of thy love, and the first principle of grace that thou didst put into my soul when thou didst regenerate me; All the flames are gone out that were once kindled in me; All the fruit, and leaves, and boughs are stripped from me, there are all things to do beside bare regeneration, I am as an arm cut off, so that it hangs only by a little skin, a slender thread; Lord, this is my hope, that my corruptions and Satan that have quenched these flames that I have had, shall never be able to quench this spark; But alas that is a poor comfort, that this is all my comfort, that I shall not lose heaven, though it be a thousand times too great a comfort for such a wretched sinner as I am, to have: Is it nothing to lose all my comforts, all my duties, all my sweet communion with thee, or at least only so much of these remains as to keep me from being utterly cast off; For one that had fared deliciously every day to come to have no more bread then to keep life and soul together, though he dies not, yet he hath a miserable life: Thus, thus, and far worse it is with me.   

Meditat. X.  
If I stood clear before thee O my God, of those many sins, of senselessness under judgements, fruitlessness under Ordinances, mispending of time, want of watchfulness of mien own ways, and for the appearing of the Lord Jesus Christ; Only my sins of unkindness to the Lord Jesus Christ, were enough to cause thee to take away thy mercies from me; I have heard and read the great mystery of my Redemption, of his being scourged, and crowned, and nailed, of his bleeding and dying for me, of his great love, and such things, that if a Friend of this world had done or suffered the thousandth part so much, his memory would have been precious.   

Meditat. XI.  
Ah my dear God, thou hast been my God, and therefore thou art my God, how little can my soul know by any thing that I now either do or feel? I am fain to fetch evidences and signs from actions done many years since: My Prayers and other holy duties were matter of more joy when I did them then now, they have terror in them; Now I think I do them not as heretofore: I have been assisted by thy grace, oh my lost joys and my lost duties, where I shall find you I know not, the joys I had formerly, and the great zeal of mine heart made me pray, but now not out of feeling and zeal, but for zeal and joy, and I go from prayer with a sad heart and an hard heart; My prayers come neither from my heart nor reach to my heart: Oh my Lord Jesus Christ where are thy motions and the joys of thy Spirit to work thine own work in me? why do I walk in this valley of tears not only without comfort but without grace, I do even stand astonished at myself to see the vast difference between myself now and when I was thine; When the Candle of the Almighty shone upon my soul, and the Spirit of my God dwelled in me, than sorrow and weeping flew away: Alas! I now have scarce any thing left me but carnal tears, and one great cause of my grief and part of my misery is, that I can weep no more, sometimes indeed tears stand in mine eyes when I consider these things; Lord give me faith, O give me faith, I feel a deal of Atheism in mine heart; Mine heart is so full of corruption, of all kind, and all degrees, that I can feel no bottom of this stinking ditch; Mine Imaginations is divers times a thoroughfare for Satan's blasphemous thoughts, which my soul abhors, I may even sit down and spend the remainder of my wicked life in weeping, and wailing, and wring of my hands, and tearing off the hairs of my head; My sad soul may say to my God, Art thou quite gone from me, have all my hopes of thee been as dreams and empty shadows unto me, and hast thou shown me so much of heaven, and wilt thou make hell more terrible and bitter to me? Shall thy sweet mercies be turned into the gall of Asps to me, not only to be bitter but deadly? I have cause, I have cause Lord, to mingle my drink with my tears, to water my couch with weeping: Thou art too great a God to be dallied withal, and what do I else? As our dearest Friends, though we never so much delighted in their company while they were living, yet we are afraid to be alone with them, they are a terronr to us after the souls have left their earthly Tabernacles; So my prayers while they were living prayers were a great comfort to my poor soul, but now my prayers are without life, and my supplications are dead, they are a terror to me, they look ghastly upon me and I upon them.   

Meditat. XII.  
My dear God, thovart not moved with words, if we had the tongue of Men and Angels, if we could speak as never man spoke, if our hearts meant no more than they do, what would our vain words do? I am ever weary of my life because of my corruptions, I can go no where nor do any thing, but my corruptions follow me, and tyre me even out of my patience: O that I could weep over my soul, and weep over my prayers to see how dead they are, which way to turn I know not, I have prayed a thousand times for another heart, and yet mine heart is as hard as a stone, and so full of hypocrisy, that there is a world of hypocrisy in my confessions of hypocrisy: Lord, shall I cast away my confidence, and lay down my weapons, and put off mine armour, because my corruptions are so strong and impetuous, and deaden my very soul? But alas what am I weary of? not of my sins, but of the accusations of my conscience that will not let me alone; Blessed be thy Name that I am troubled that I do not live holily, and yet I will strive to live holily; Lord, mine heart is ertangled in the snares of the world; Blessed Saviour, thou which hast overcome the world deliver me from the cares and love of the world: Alas! what good do my tears do me? Dost thou bottle up such tears, such puddle water in thy bottles? Let the bowels of thy compassion yern within the towards my poor soul: It is full of sin, but my sin is my sorrow, though my sorrow itself is sinful, if thou standest as a stranger to me I must give over myself for lost, than I may say, farewell prayers; better to say, farewell, then to add to my former sins a greater guilt by defiling my prayers that are as the Chariots to carry out my soul into the bosom of God; What am I to stand against corruption or temptations? I am no more able to overcome, nay, to resist them, then to remove Mountains: I have sinned away my comforts, and sinned away my joys, and sinned away mine hopes, and even my God, if thy mercies be not greater, and what remains for my poor soul to do, but to sit down in sorrow, and even to mourn until my soul be heavy unto death? It had been better for me that I had not been one to show the way to others; Nay but oh my God, that is best for me that thou hast done for me; Blessed God do but make me thine   

Meditat. XIII.  
Alas Oh my soul may not I justly spend the remainder of my days in sighing, to perceive my good God, from whose sweet presence I have in former times had so much grace and comfort, to be such a stranger now to men, and what is worse, mine heart so senseless of his absence! The time hath been when myheart hath almost bled within me to think what a miserable condition I should be in, if ever it should come to pass that it should be thus; Lord why dost thou absent thyself from my poor soul, if I were in a desertion of comforts I were in a fare better condition, but to be in a desertion of graces and not to be troubled, is a sad condition; Me thinks I see my stock of grace grow weaker and weaker, and more and more to languish, as one that is dying the pulse grows weaker and weaker, until at last it be not moee: O Lord what to say I do not know, alas! I cannot but call, and cry, and pray, Lord if ever thou wilt take pity upon a poor miserable speechless sinner; Lord, If thou wilt that I may overcome, Lord, I cannot get mine heart to be content to be damned, and indeed since then I must eternally be separated from thee, I do not desire to get mine heart to be content, but to struggle against it as long as I am able.   

Meditat. XIV.  
To have Satan and corruption come and beset me as soon as I awake, and to follow me all the day long, and to go to bed with me, and to keep me waking, to have no respite, is a sad condition: When I should awake with my God, my good God, who kept me, and watched over me whilst I slept, to have Satan stand ready, and hold his temptations before mine eyes which way soever I look, and to prevail so far with me, as at last to make me scarce to hate the sin he tempts me to, I feel in my spiritual part an utter abhorring of the sin, I would give ten thousand worlds rather than commit the sin, and yet I have much ado to refrain; alas, can my secure soul live?   

Meditat. XV.  
I am in such a wretched temper as to be willing to offend my God, and when I go about to grieve, sorrow is far from me; nay, the grief which sometimes I feel, is not strong enough to conquer the temptation, when tears stand in mine eyes to consider the miserable condition of my soul in being so prone to sin, the temptation increaseth; To hear one of thy servants groaning under thy hand, and then to stand parlying with temptation, and not rather be afraid that the same affliction, etc. Lord, I am in thy hand, for affliction lay what thou wilt upon me, I must bear it, and I would bear it patiently; nay Lord though this temptation be such an unwelcome guest, and I am too weary of it, yet so thou wilt give me grace to overcome my impatience, I am content Lord as much as I can; but alas my God to have Satan my companion in stead of my God, I hope will never be pleasing to me.   

Meditat. XVI.  
Lord, what my vain heart thinks of thee it matters not, except it be to discover the wretchedness of it, thou hast more glorious creatures to praise thee, my praises and my thoughts of thee are so low and so unworthy of thee, that thou mightest forbid me as thou didst the devils to confess thee, or to say any thing of thee: My dear God, if a world would buy it for one such sight of thee as might so ravish my soul, that I might never more see any beauty, or taste any sweetness in any thing but in thee, that I might see thee with open face, that I might be transformed into thine image from glory to glory: Lord, thou art still beyond me, the higher my thoughts are of thee the more thou art beyond me and above me; When my thoughts are best my thoughts are lost in the meditation of thee, as the stone that is thrown into the calm Sea, makes greater and greater circles, but can never reach the shore: Lord, I am content I may be lost in myself so I may find thee; Lord, though there were none but thou and I in the world, I had enough, nay, though there were none but thou and I in heaven, I had enough; Though I have nothing to say to thee but what I have said a thousand times, Thou art my God, my Saviour, my all, thou art he whom my soul loveth, yet though I have nothing else to say, nor can say there is any new relish, yet I delight to be alone with thee, nay, though thou sayest nothing to my poor soul but what I have heard from thee, yet let me still be in thy company, I had rather weep and mourn for mine offending thee, then enjoy all delights in the world; Those salt waters are more precious than their wine.   

Meditat. XVII.  
Lord, I beseech thee to order all mine affairs by thy wisdom, thou knowest what afflictions are needful for me; I mnrmure oftentimes when thou afflictest me, although I have again and again desired thee to direct all things that belong unto me: but blessed God let not my murmur so provoke thee as to leave me to mine own self; Give me not what I desire but what I want, my judgement in judging what is good or bad for me is little worth, for many times I have judged such a thing to be for my hurt, yet it hath proved much for my good, and so on the contrary, but then I have by experience found it evidently for my good, when I have yielded myself wholly to be guided by thee, all things Lord make me know myself; I am a poor creature with tears in mine eyes, and hypocrisy in my heart.   

Meditat. XVIII.  
Lord, It fares with me as it sares with one that hath been a long time from his friend, he hath many things to tell him of, several particulars that befell him since their last being together, so Lord I have been a stranger to thee, and I have much to say to thee, much have I suffered from mine own corruptions, and little have I done; I have a heart will let me do nothing for thee; Lord, I am but a child, pardon my babble; I have none to make my complaint to, no not one; Thou hast caused me to live in Mesech, and to have mine habitation in the Tents of Kedar, and if thou Lord wilt supply the want of those Christian friends I am now deprived of, Lord, my heart is so deceitful that I have much ado to know whether I ever was or am yet thine; I know Lord how I have spent days, sometimes whole weeks together in prayer, and meditation, and reading devotionary Books to prepare myself for the Communion, and yet then I had gross failings, for there was a world of covetousness in me, and thirsting after humane learning exceedingly, and little prising the knowledge of Christ in my Sermons, I did little aim at thy glory, but to preach myself; Now in these things I find some healings, but my duties are fewer, and now there is far more wanting in comparison of what I should be, than was then, of what I am now; Nay Lord, thou only knowest I shall be a gainer, but alas! If I now I am alone shall have no more fire of thy love then I had when I lived in the midst of glowing coals of devotion, how can I but go out now since I had much ado to burn then? When I think of serving thee then my heart is so perverse as to put in a carnal motive, and saith, If thou dost so, then God will bless thee in such or such a temporal blessing, and my heart closeth with that motive.   

Meditat. XIX.  
O my God, as thou art my Father, so let me know that thy love to me being known by me, may put wheels to my obedience, that now goes so heavily, and that it may make mine obedience more pure that now is so full of insufficiency: I am fain to be glad almost of any motive to make me serve thee, but yet it is my burden that fear should make me do that which love should make me do, for besides that such obedience is painful, that which is worse it is impure also: Alas, I am a stranger too much unto thee, and in being so, an enemy to myself; Lord this is the first day I have given thee this long while, it doth appear that it is so by the poor and weak duties I perform; My poor soul is like a poor desolate Widow that hath lost her dear Husband, every one tramples on her, and oppresseth her.   

Meditat. XX.  
Lord, where are those sweet embraces and manifestations of thy love, that thou hast bestowed on me in former times? When I have gone unto the treasury of thy mercies, and fetched any mercy from thence that I wanted: Thou hast given unto my prayers my dear Brother, who went forth a blasphemer, or at least a common swearer, and came home, I seeking thee for him a convert, after thou gavest me his life and the life of my Mother, and indeed Lord, what was it but I had of thee? thou didst almost miraculously restore one of my Sisters to comfort: But now when I cry and shout thou shutest out my prayers, and art almost as if I had never any acquaintance with thee: Lord, I know that the fault is mine own, Indeed Lord I then was scarce ever from thee, or out of thy thoughts: For were I but as I have been, so often kept days of humbling before thee; It could not be that my duties should be such as they are, but Lord thou seest the tears these thoughts cause me to shed, they are thine, do thou increase them, but take away this dulness and deadness of heart that is the just reason why I shed them, and if thou shalt once purify and inflame mine heart by faith and love, I shall shed more tears for my wand'ring thoughts in prayer, than now I do for all the abominations I am guilty of; Alas Lord, the ordinary days of thy Saints are fare more holy than the days I set apart for special service of thee; And their thoughts in the midst of their worldly businesses, are more devout and zealous than my thoughts in my prayers, were always with thee; I scarce did any thing though almost of never so small moment, but the reason why I did it this or that way, was because it was some way or other more for thy glory: Lord, It is not thy fault, for thou dost wait to show mercy, whether my wretched heart will consent to it or no: This I do set down as an infallible truth, and let all the world give thee the glory of it, All thy ways are holy, just, and good, and thou dost stretch out thine arms to embrace us, it is our fault that we do not run into thy bosom, the infidelity and other corruptions that are in our bosoms make us think that thou art not willing to receive us, and so we not coming we want that experimental knowledge of thee that would (if we had it) make us not so timorous of comng to thee as we are.   

Meditat. XXI.  
Before I begin to write, I know I have more cause to write in blood or tears then in ink; Can a Mother forget her child? It is not, Can a child forget the Mother? nor is it Can a Mother her child if the child forget her? or Can there be any case wherein the Mother can forget her child? Lord, do thoo awaken mine heart for it is asleep; Lord, do thou raise mine heart for it is dead; Do thou thaw mine heart for it is frozen; Lord, thou art that celestial fire that inflames all thine Angels with love, I have no way but to come before thy presence in hope that at the last I shall be thawed if not inflamed, thou wilt not put out the smoking snuff of a candle, I am such an one enlightened and inflamed, though now I send forth nothing but an unsavoury staunch; What, shall I stand imperfect as I am thus speaking, what I may and what I have to say to my God, Lord, thou hast commanded in thy Word that if an adulterer defile a woman, and she cry not out, than she shall be put to death; Lord, infidelity, hypocrisy, and vainglory, are come to undo me, to defile my soul, and they have almost persuaded my soul not to cry out: to be ravished is a great affliction, but to embrace the adulterer is an abomination: If I cry to men for succour, if I go to Ordinances, alas the adulterer is a strong man, he hath locked the doors of my soul, and none can break them open but thou only: Lord, do not stand knocking at the door of my heart, for the strong man will not, and I am kept so fast by my corruptions, I cannot come to let thee in; Lord, break open the doors, and come in to help me before I am utterly undone, as it was with the Levites Concubine, so will it be with my poor soul, corruption and corruption, and sin after sin, will so abuse her, that she will be at last dead: Alas! methinks I look upon my poor soul as one looks upon a Ship tossed among rocks in the Seas, one sees it, and pities it, but knows not how to help it; there comes a wave, and carries it with violence among the midst of the rocks, and makes it reel and stagger like a drunken man, and then all in the Ship are fain to pump and toil to save their lives, at last it is dashed in pieces, and all fain to get upon broke pieces of the Ship to swim to the shore, if it may be: my soul is even labouring for life; Lord, what wilt thou do, wilt thou be as a man astonished, and as a mighty man that cannot help? then I am undone, than I may say if thou wilt not, then farewell all my duties, farewell all my graces, and all my comforts which I have had in the dear embraces of my God: Ah must I not pray but with my tongue? Must I have no more comforts but what poor creatures can give me? Lord, if I must perish let me perish in thy way, let me convert many unto thee; Though I know my damnation shall be greater if I perish for living so contrary to mine own doctrine: Lord I am a poor miserable man and a more miserable Christian, thou art I cannot possibly imagine what, but I hope Lord I shall know; these days of ignorance and sin will not always last, when my change comes I shall no more sin and repent, and repent and sin, as I do now: Oh my corruptions I hope one day I shall leave you all in the grave behind me; The day is coming, when while I am praising God you shall not come and lie as a talon of lead upon my soul; and hinder my flight, come Lord Jesus, come quickly, Come while my soul is filled with joy to think of thy coming; O my God, thou art enough for me, enough, enough, my soul can hold no more; Lord I am afraid of the joys sometimes I have to think of thee, tears for my sins are fit for me then tears of joy, yet I dare not refuse them, nay, I cannot if I would, they are so sweet, so sweet; Heaven is but a greater measure of them; Lord, thou art enough enough for them that love thee.   

Meditat. XXII.  
To see a dead man arrayed with all the richest clothes, still there is more horror to behold him then delight; So my poor Soul looks ghastly in all the duties I perform, I have a cold and dead soul for all them, and more terror there is in the deadness then there is comfort in the multitude of them, this I know by experience that one looks upon hell upon whatsoever one looks but up-Christ, yet Christ is not sweet unto me, my dear Saviour, to whom I was so dear: Lord Jesus give me a heart that may feel thy sweetness, I am convinced that thou art so, but my poor heart hath not enough tasted the sweetness of this Truth, that all things are dross and dung in comparison of Christ; Lord, here is mine estate, mine health, mine life, my liberty, and all that I have, and had I more I would freely give all, give but such a heart as I desire, and the same will I consecrate unto thee in spiritual affections all my days, now I think thus with myself, When I was most desirous of and addicted to humane learning, it was wonderful delightful to me to be instructed in some new truth, or to have some difficult question clearly resolved; To read the Mathematics was wonderful delightful, because they prove such strange things, than I have recourse to the Word of God, and by that I am assured that all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge are hid in Christ, and in his Gospel, then further I have recourse to the experience of the people of God in the Word of God, and in particular to Paul, who being a learned man, yet accounted all things as dross and dung in comparison of Christ; I have also recourse to the experience of several godly Persons I know, of the abundant sweetness in Christ: I have recourse to that small experience I have had of the sweetness and excellency of the knowledge of Christ, therefore Lord though I have not at this present the powerful and ravishing feelings of Christ's excellency, yet assuring myself all these ways whereby I fully do assent to that truth, that It is life eternal to know thee and Jesus Christ; I do beseech thee O Lord to give me a fuller knowledge of thee in Christ; I beseech thee, I beseech thee Let not mine undervaluing of this knowledge cause thee to deny it, I shall more value it if I had more of it: Lord, I know if thou shouldest look in me and my life, to see what thou canst find to hinder the granting of this Request, thou mayst find enough; nay, I that know myself not so well as thou dost, know enough and enough, nay, I know nothing to move thee in myself, except something I have had from thee, those things I have so abused that I know they may be swift witnesses against me: b●t Lord, if thou shouldst give me this knowledge of them, I might do great things for thee; Lord hear me: Alas Lord my desires to know Christ do even die, while I am praying to know him; Alas Lord such an heart as I have is fit for none but thee, for none in the world can tell what to do with it but thou only; It is past the skill of all in heaven and earth but thee, it is not in the power of Ordinances and duties if thou should not set in.  
I would pity the soul of my greatest Enemy if I should see it in such continual storms and troubles as are in mine, there are new corruptions appear, such as I may term them nothing so fitly as sparks of the fire of hell, to have one's heart rise against God, when the continual desire of ones soul and prayer is that one might be inflamed with the love of God; Lord, while I am working my heart to a serious thought of thee, endeavouring to have mine heart full of admiration of thee and affiance in thee, before I pray unto thee, that if it may be my prayers may be as an arrow-drawn up to the head, but when I go about to pray and send up my Petitions, my thoughts of thy glory and goodness slack, and it fares with me oh my Soul as sometimes it doth with one that is tying knots, when one hath pulled the first very hard, yet it slacks before one can tie the second; If I kept but a strict communion with thee, and did as thou desirest (Lord why shouldest thou desire) us always to be with thee, how should we be acquainted with thee fare more than we are, and if we knew thee more how should we love thee more; and if we loved thee more how should we know thee more? for thou revealest thyself to them that love thee; Alas O my Soul, why should not we always be with God, since he gives us leave; how gracious art thou to invite such sinners as we are to come to thee! For thee to wash our souls clean with the immaculate blood of the Lord Jesus Christ; Alas Lord I am mine own enemy, nay, I see it and know it, and it cannot be otherwise: Lord, I am so tired out with my corruptions, that I am even weary of my life, and almost weary of my duties; Lord even at this present, how when my soul was so troubled that mine eyes were ready to weep, there comes a thought of a poor worldly business into my soul, and my thoughts and sorrows for heavenly matters are gone.   

Meditat. XXIII.  
O my God, how coldly without love, how doubtingly without faith do I call thee my God Lord how careless am I in thy service? how very careless? how long Lord, holy and true, shall I be thus laden with corruptions? Nay, which is my greatest misery, I am not but very little sensible of my own vileness, that makes me that I do not hunger after righteousness. Blessed Lord, I do humbly prostrate my soul before thee, and do with all the weak power of my soul importune thee by all the merits of my dear Saviour pray thee to look upon me in mercy: When the poor wounded man that went from Jerusalem to Jeriche, lay half dead, and speechless in the way, though he was not sensible of his own misery, yet the good Samaritan was; though his tongue did not, could not call for pity, yet his wounds opened their mouths wide and spoke aloud to the Samaritan, Though his eyes shed no tears, yet his very heart wept blood at his wounds, and moved compassion. Like to that poor wounded man am I, so weak, so sick, that I am scarce sensible of mine own desperate condition; Lord, though my heart be not full of love, it is full of wounds; Lord, thou knowest my miseries, I humbly beseech thee to pity me, not according to my prayers but according to my wants. Lord, that I do not desire to serve thee, that I do not hunger nor thirst after righteousness, it is the greatest misery that I have.   

Meditat. XXIV.  
Oh how terrible is the thought of death to me, it is not so much for want of faith as holiness, and indeed I find that I can never with comfort think on death, but when I have lived very holily before, for what will faith in that case help me, without holiness? for faith without holiness is not faith but presumption: Oh how sweet! how dear! how excellent a thing is holiness? Oh how full of peace and joy is my soul when I am full of that? and yet Lord how careless am I of thy service? how many times in the day when I might think of thee without any hindrance of my studies, do I choose rather to think of vanity? O wean my soul O God from every thing that is not thee. Fill my heart with thyself, dwell in me my dear God, Why do I call thee dear? When I prefer every trifle before thee, O most glorious Lord God, whom ten thousand worlds cannot sufficiently praise nor love, which art thyself, and canst not be more, nor canst be less; how easy Lord is it for thee to change my heart, mine heart of stone for an heart of flesh; Lord, as long as I have this heart of stone, there is no hope that I should serve thee with any cheerfulness, or any constancy, Lord, hear my prayer.   

Meditat. XXV.  
O blessed God, If the way of thy providence be such, that thou wilt not give so much grace as to make me, through the abundance of it, almost whether I will or no, to serve thee, yet to whom thou dost give so much grace as to desire more grace, O let not this desire which is of thy own infusing be in vain, if there be any thing in the whole world that I desire more than thy grace, then let me want grace to desire it any more; Lord, if the reason why thou deniest my prayer be, because I do not desire as I ought, I humbly beseech thee to grant that I may ask aright; alas my afflictions lie heavier on me then ever they did, and I am more wicked or at least less holy than ever since my conversion I was; how little am I affected with any thing that belongs to thy service, nor yet doth it affect me that I am not affected: Lord, if there were any in heaven or in earth that could help me besides thee, then considering my manifold sins, I should; I but Lord I would not, thy mercies are so great, go to any other: Now Lord, now is the time to have mercy upon me; I am like the man that went from Jerusalem to Jericho, wounded, naked, and half dead, I cannot call for help, O let my wounds move thee to compassion; If I could bewail my sinful misery with tears of repentance, I know thou wouldst deliver me, but I cannot weep, nay hardly mourn; Oh faint, faint is my grief, and cold is my love; What wilt thou do Lord with one that scarcely from his heart desires to serve thee: alas, what canst thou do for me more or less than to make me desire to serve thee! Accept I must, or for ever be lost; What a low degree of goodness am I come unto? a Soul full of sadness, and empty of goodness; To morrow Lord I am to receive thee into my soul, thee my blessed Saviour, Lord, thou knowest I did not use to have a heart so empty of goodness, when I expected thee to come next day.   

Meditat. XXVI.  
Lord, now I do resolve to serve thee, and in this particular especially; I will not speak evil of any man what injury soever he both me; Now I will so watch over my words that I will not offend with my tongue; and that by degrees I may attain some perfection herein, I here vow every week between this and the next communion to keep one day so strictly, that I will not, during that day, speak so much as one idle word that day, if I do I will give to the poor Lord, how excellent is thy service? so pure, so sweet; O that there were such a heart in me that I might for ever serve thee.   

Meditat. XXVII.  
When I read the story of the Martyrs, I do wish that I had lived in those days that I might also die as they did, or methinks I could now willingly lay down my life rather than yield to the abominable Idolatry, and superstitions of the Sea of Rome; but when I search and try my heart, I much fear that the reason of this my desire is, because I think it easier to lay down my life for Christ's sake, then for his sake to overcome my corruptions; for it being but one act, though it hath more pain, yet being but of small continuance, it is less trouble, than all my life long to fight against sin; and thus I do ill even in my best wishes, in divers respects; for I chose Martyrdom, not because thereby I might more honour God, but that I might the sooner and easier come to heaven; And again, that I think I might content myself though I did not so much hate corruption, If I died a Martyr all would be well; whereas Though I give my body to be burnt, and have not charity, it would profit me nothing, and to love God it is impossible for him that doth not hate sin, and fight against his corruptions; Alas O my soul, how weary are we of our spiritual fight, and we would fain find some other way to heaven then by the continuance of it; O that I were dead to the world and lived to God, how vain is the world? yet while we know something better we shall not think so; We talk much of the vanity of the world, but who believes that the world is vanity and vexation of spirit? Or who is sensible of this truth? Or if he were sensible of it, and sometimes affected with it, yet it soon vanisheth, and we do not live accordingly; How much easier is it to speak like an Angel then live like a Saint!   

Meditat. XXVIII.  
Lord that thou wouldst do it for me, take my soul and my body, what shall I do with them any longer? I govern them so ill, and indeed am so unable to govern them that they govern me; Lord, if thou shalt condemn me at the last day, I do now justify thee, and testify to all the world that thou art just, though then (if such a time shall come) I shall blaspheme thee; My dear God, I have yet a spark of thy love, I will not leave that small hold of thee for ten thousand worlds; I know Lord there is no dallying with thee: What if I spoke with the tongue, and writ with the pen of men and Angels? it is nothing; Lord take a poor soul at his word, Lord I am thine, and do now give myself and ten thousand worlds if I had them to thee; yet when thou dost take from me some poor part of my estate, I murmur; Alas, I have a poor weak heart.   

Meditat. XXIX.  
Lord my knowledge of thee is but small, and that which is is but little spiritual or experimental; To know thee by what others write and say of thee, is sweet to them that can set their seal to it from their own experience; Lord what is it that hath kept me so long from thee, or kept thee so long from me? I know I have been wanting to thee and to myself; Lord take my heart, I have too much love for any besides thee; though I have too little for thee: Oh how sweet are the thoughts of thee, and would be sweeter, if I thought oftener, and longer, and more attentively of thee: Alas, I am almost grown out of acquaintance with thee; I do not perceive my corruptions in any thing more than in this, that though to think of thee be a thing so easy and so profitable, yet I think so seldom: My dear God, deliver me from the business of the world; Suits of Law and such things they undo me, they take up my thoughts that I cannot be rid of them; I feel upon me the curse which thou threatnest upon the people of Israel, If they would not serve thee with joy, they should serve strangers with a great deal of hardship: I was well while I was with thee, than I had my Songs in the night, now my days are turned into the shadow of death: Lord, draw me, draw me, make the cords of thy love stronger, or rather than I should perish make the cords of thine afflictions stronger, and if I murmur scourge me while I leave murmuring; How true do I find that saying, He that injures forgives not; My wickedness I have committed against thee makes me not able to believe almost that thou art or canst be reconciled unto me: When I should do more for thee and less against thee, I shall easilier believe thy loves, or rather when thy spirit shall shed abroad thy love in my heart; I shall know thou lovest me, I sigh and mourn, and weep over my poor soul, but cannot help it: Dear Lord, Let my tears prevail with thee; Pity, Pity, have Pity upon a poor languishing soul that is even gasping out its last breath; It grieves me to see what a sad condition I am in, I am not yet in hell, and by thy mercy I may never come thither, but I am running headlong thither; Woe is me that I am constrained to live in Mesech, and to have my habitation in the Tents of Kedar.   

Meditat. XXX.  
Lord, I pray for mercies, and when I have them, to see the unsuitableness of my spirit to them, and mine unthankfulness for them, brings more sadness upon me then to want them; All the things I begged of thee for temporal mercies, both in carrying me forth and bringing me home, and concerning my business I went about, not finding things in such a sad condition at home, yet my heart is the same still, as hard, and as stony, not willing to yield itself and all up to thee, as if I were more able to order matters than thou. Now my heart is subject to murmur that it is so hard when it should mourn: Lord, thou hast done enough to justify thy love and thy tender compassions to me, if thou shouldest never do more, and not only thy justice could not be blamed, but not thy mercy: My dear God, let me not die in thine arms of love, except I must die, and then let me die in thine arms.   

Meditat. XXXI.  
Accept of my poor prayers, and when at the last day, when the secrets of all hearts shall be known, the hypocrisy and coldness of my desires shall be known, and thy goodness shall be admired in hearing such prayers as mine are: For the light of thy countenance to shine upon, and the breathe of thy Spirit to blow upon a garden of Spices, is not so much for the advancement of thy freegrace, as for thee to shine upon, and thy Spirit to breathe upon such a dunghill as I am, that sends forth such noisome savours as I do: Lord, if thou wilt be my God I have a body and a soul, I will give thee them; 'Tis true, they are thine already, but alas, if I had any thing to give that were not thine, I would; but I have not.   

Meditat. XXXII.  
Lord, I wait to see the day of my salvation, and the hour when thou wilt show me thy loves, and when I shall lie in thy bosom and arms, and hear the beat of thy heart in love, and the soundings of thy bowels towards me, and know thine everlasting thoughts of love to me, when thou shalt seal the pardon of my sins to me, and make me read the counterpain of the Covenant of love between thee and me, which thou reservest in heaven, and is fair and not blotted as mine is, and when shall the day of the love and joys of my espousals return, and my thoughts be swallowed up in love; Lord, why shouldst thou withhold thy love, the manifestations of thy love: Can thy love love to be concealed from thy Beloved? I will wait for the discoveries of thy love, I am loath to do any thing before thou comest whom my soul loveth, for fear thou shouldest come when I am not looking for thee, and thou escapest me. I look every prayer to see thee come leaping on the mountains and skipping upon the hills as a Row or an Hind; But I see thee not, why dost thou put a spark of love into my heart; If thou wilt leave me, why didst thou cast thy mantle upon me, and when I follow after thee, say, what hast thou done? thy loves are better than wine, sweeter than honey, even more to be desired then life itself; Lord, if the small sparks and relishes of thy love be so sweet to me, what will the feeding on this heavenly manna be? If a drop of thy love be so sweet, what will the overflowings be? If thy smiles bring so much joy, what will thy embraces do? Lord, I long till I am undone with thy love; All my carnal and worldly joys undone. Lord, it is not my unworthiness that should hinder me, nor will hinder thee from bestowing; Lord help my unbelief; Well Lord, if I must walk in darkness and see no light, yet give me thy grace that I may stay myself upon thee my God; my life is but short, and when the hour of my departure shall come, than I shall enjoy him whom my soul loveth, and know as I am known; then I shall forget the sorrows, pains, and throws of my travel, for the joy that shall be revealed. My Bride saith come, and the Spirit saith Come, Come Lord Jesus, Come quickly.   

Meditat. XXXIII.  
I wait for the appearing of the Lord Jesus Christ, if thy love be as fire in straw, or such like matter, lie smoking, and makes one's eyes weep while one strives to find the fire; At last it being able to hold no longer breaks forth into a great flame; and the longer it is before it discovers itself, the greater is the flame and light, when they do break forth: Lord, whilst I am looking for thy love, thou makest me weary, let the length of thy stay be made up by the fullness of thy presence, and greatness of thy manifestations when thou comest; I seek thee in my prayers, and I say, O where art thou whom my soul loveth, and yet thou sendest me away weeping and mourning: I seek on my bed, when I awake in the night, but I find thee not; I speak with those which have found thee, and they tell me, nay, I know it by thy Word, that thou art near to every soul that seeks thee; and when a poor soul cries thou wilt answer it, than I multiply my prayers, and call louder, and yet my prayers are as the wind that passeth away, and returns no more; O my Lord and my God, thy love was strong enough to make thee suffer, and thou didst die that thou mightest make known and commend thy love unto the Sons of men, and now thou hast done all this to manifest thy love, and wilt thou hid it from me? Creature-love hath wrought strange things in me, I have never been weary of their discourses and humane learning, how hath it made me ravished with some learned saying! and if thou wouldst discover thy love, and shed that abroad in my heart, certainly it would work wonders! For the Creatures flames of love are but as a blaze that straw makes, but is soon out, it hath not substance enough to nourish and maintain what it begets; For Creature-Excellencies are not strong enough to keep up the delight we take in them, but thou Lord art love, and thou art such a treasure of excellencies that the poor soul makes new discoveries of those treasures every day. To all Eternity thou art enough to keep alive and in full strength all the love, and joys, and praises of Saints and Angels. Lord, thou art enough to answer thine own love, but what am I that I should speak of thee? thou art so glorious that I am afraid to speak of thee!   

Meditat. XXXIV.  
Lord I call, and thou dost not answer, I am even tired out if thou dost not support, I sink under the burden, I long and look to see thy beauty, but I cannot behold nor perceive one glimpse: that thou art excellent, I see by the eye of faith, but thine excellencies do not affect me: All my prayers are turned into this, Lord show me Christ, and show me him whom my soul loveth, for I have heard of him, and the fame of his excellencies have come unto me, yet mine eyes have not seen him; I think with myself, Surely Christ manifesting himself, and to be filled with all the fullness of God, and to have a conversation in heaven, must needs signify more than ever I have experienced in myself; For such poor things as I have found wrought in my soul cannot fill up those expressions. Then I hear of those whose lives are spiritual and Christ-like, not glorious in outward mortifications; Thou art blameless that way speaking of such things which God hath wrought for them and in them, which I have not found, but are the very same things which are in my view, and I follow after to attain but cannot: Then from their relation of the Lords deal with them, I perceive that God did humble them more before he did discover himself unto them then ever he hath as yet humbled me, so that I find no rest day nor night in my spirit, and yet though I am thus restless in seeking after something which I cannot know what it is I seek for, I cannot discern any true, sincere, constant love to Christ. He neither lets me know that he loves me, nor that I love him, so that I stand amazed, and know not what to do, and still by the help of God I will not cease to cry and call upon him for whom my soul I doubt not but would love, if he discover his beauties and love unto me, and work them on my heart: I seek for one, who I cannot tell who he is before I find him, than I shall know and shall tell to all who he is, and set forth his excellencies, though they shall as little understand me as I do them who declare the things that God hath wrought for them:   

Meditat. XXXV.  
There is not such an one in the world as I am that I know, Publicans and harlots, I justify them; I, in the midst of means, of Ordinances and mercies, in the midst of the flames of love, nay, when thou laidst on me that affliction that is now fresh bleeding in mine eyes, or rather despised and forgotten, I should have learned obedience by things I suffered, and I have done as if I were to learn to sin by them; Thou hast chastised me with rods, and I have put the sting of sin into them, and have made them scorpions; Thou sendest them for Antidotes, and I have turned them into poison; Lord, teach me what it is wherein thou art so offended, to leave me thus: Lord, I believe thou hast pardoned me, but small is my comfort, when thou pardonest sin, but subduest it not.   

Meditat. XXXVI.  
Lord, I do so evidently find myself unable to judge of truths, or to resist temptations, that I almost, nay altogether lie at the mercy of every temptation, and to be carried about with the wind of every vain doctrine, if thou dost not stand by me, what should I tell thee the secret puddle of my heart? I am weary of the stench and filthiness of it; there is not a prayer but they meet me at it, and lie as a talon of lead upon me; If mine heart were all on fire with thy love, these things could not be: I sometimes have thoughts rising in my heart that are wicked, proud, and foolish thoughts; I begin to be offended, that I begging for the manifestations of thy love, yet have them not; but those thoughts no sooner begin to arise, but I consider What am I that thou shouldest give me thy loves, and how can I expect the manifestations of thy love, when I will not give thee my loves, but let them run waste upon the creature? How many times do I choose to do any thing rather than spend my time in Meditation and Prayer, nay to do nothing and be idle; For although thou lovest us first, yet thou dost not usually discover thy thoughts of love to a soul, before she hath made over her love and her  unto thee; then I think thou canst by the power of thy Spirit bring in my heart, my soul, and my love, and that usually ere thou dost ravish the soul with the discoveries of thy love: this I know, and let all the world know it, that whatsoever wicked thoughts arise in my weak heart, which I cannot answer, I know that all thy ways are holy, just, and good; Lord, what shall I give for the sheddings abroad of love in my heart? that which should be given for it, were it at the utmost parts of the world, I could fetch it thence, But Lord, the price of it is already paid, 'tis near unto thee, even at thy right hand, O thou most High, he hath paid for this mercy by his blood long ago; and my prayers thou requirest, not as a price: Lord, fill me with these spiritual supplications, that I may give thee no rest, nor take any rest myself until I have found him whom my soul loveth; Come Lord Jesus, come quickly.   

Meditat. XXXVII.  
O Lord beat me and drive me with storms and tempests, I am come unto thee like the Prodigal Son, for all but that which most of all I should have, a spiritual sorrow, ragged, and tattered, and undone; My sins and misery are like his, not my sorrow; For me to see myself languishing, my graces daily grow weaker, my love colder, and even almost to be speechless in prayer; Alas, the sorrow that I have is rather bewailing my misery then my sin; I know not what it is Lord but thou dost; Sure I am my condition is sad and I am sad, and my sadness is all the poor remains of comfort that I have; and yet I no sooner begin to take any comfort in my grief, but I perceive so much hypocrisy in my grief that the poor spark of comfort that I have is put out; Alas, tears of blood were fit for me then dry eyes; O Lord, must every trifle steal away my heart from thee; Thine excellencies are too high for me, Wisdom is too high for fools, O that thou wouldst take me out of mine own hands, and deliver me from myself, and howsoever my heart is not importunate enough now; I shall thank and praise thee to all Eternity if thou wilt make me thine; Thou hast done as much to draw me with the cords of love, even to wonder: Lord, do thou snatch me as a firebrand out of the fire, if thou shouldst stay till I am willing without thy making me so, I am lost: For I shall never part with these painted vanities, for all the glory in heaven, except thou givest me the eye of faith to see it, and a spiritual  to relish it.   

Meditat. XXXVIII.  
O Lord, wilt thou let a poor sinner lie gasping out his last breath at thy feet, and die in thine arms, I have abundance of love for the world, O that thou hadst it all: I am sure I am not, nor shall never be at quiet, until thou hast it, nor would I sleep until I am in thine arms of love; My dearest God, how comes it to pass that my heart cannot give itself to whom it will? Had I a thousand worlds I would give all for thee, that I might be thine; O my soul, why should we stand consulting and contriving what to do? God is ten thousand times more than all things; Why should we weight a Talon of Lead and a Feather together to see which is heaviest: O Lord, my soul hath chosen thee long ago, I have abundance of experience of the truths of those things which I have believed: I am thine, and thou art my God; Thou hast chosen me, and I have chosen thee; If I should be so vain at any time as to leave thee, thou art the same, and thy choice fails not; Thou Lord which mad'st me chose thee, whilst I had no experience of thy love, wilt make me continue my choice. Lord, that any one should choose hell before thee; It makes thee not to be less glorious; Lord, must my blasphemies praise thee; I find so much hell in my heart, that it is not troubled in any proportionable measure that there is so much hell in it; When I set apart an hour for Meditation and prayer, than I keep my heart somewhat close; but at other times, I am little careful to improve what I read or heart to inflame my heart; I had better not set an hour apart, and give thee all the day by thinking always of thee; Lord, I do now acknowledge, for than I shall not, but if thou shouldest leave me, I should be too much given to blaspheme thee; Nay blessed God, let that never be, Lord, it shall never be; When I consider the desperate hypocrisy of my heart, I may every morning expect that thou shouldst give me up to a reprobate sense, to commit sin with greediness; When I think of these things, I pour out my soul within me: to think with myself, I shall lose my estate, a little troubles me, to think I shall lose such a friend, it affects me more, but to think I shall lose my God and become an Apostate, that's a hell unto me; I have begged of thee as for my life that thou wouldst not leave me, and now I beg, O forsake me not utterly; To have such a heart that will neither inflame my words nor be inflamed by them, is that which hath not been so; Lord, except thou wilt follow one, that will not stay when thou callest, and overtake one that runs from thee when thou followest I am, lost: Well though I am sure my froward and careless carriage will justify thy justice if thou condemn me, and magnify thy mercy if thou savest me.   

Meditat. XXXIX.  
Lord, this day is thine own, and by being thine is more mine; I must now burn without coals about me; The time hath been when if I had been cold and dull; the Society, expressions, and examples of others in days set apart to thee, would have inflamed me; Now the company I have is water and snow; Woe is me that I am constrained to have mine habitation in the Tents of Kedar, and yet Lord thou art never wanting; Thou sendest forth thy beams of light and heat, if I bring not clouds over mine own head; I may have enough light from thee; Lord, when will these days of sin be ended, and the time of refreshing from the presence of the Lord come? I come into thy presence, but when I am come, I am silent and deaf, neither able to speak to thee, nor hear the sweet whisper of thy Spirit; O that I had a heart to give myself unto thee, or that thou wouldst take these poor long of my soul for a gift, and thereupon take possession of my soul; My days of leaping for joy to think of thee are gone, and now my days of sorrow to see mine own vileness are come; My tears are now my meat and drink, O that I had more of them so they were more spiritual; I am a poor creature but thou art the rich God; My poor heart why dost thou not speak? art thou silent? what sayest thou? Is not God a good God? what relish or sweetness is there in these words, if thou dost not set to thy seal; Lord, to thy glory though not to my comfort be it spoken, Thou hast been a good God to me, but I have no comfort from this truth, if I never relish it; yet if mine heart will be so wicked as not to acknowledge it, yet my hand shall write that which shall witness for my God against myself; Thou art good, patiented, and merciful unto me, enough to make earth and heaven to wonder at thy goodness, and my vileness: ah my God, my God, must my words go beyond my thoughts of love to thee? Lord, thou art enough for heaven, enough for thyself, and art thou not enough for me? Try O my Soul, try, thou wilt never trust before thou knowest this by experience, thou knowest abundantly that the creature hath told thee It is not in me, this thou knowest by experience, and by faith thou knowest it is in God; Well then, lay all thy weight and strength upon him and none upon the creature; Hold upon him with both hands, or else thou wilt attribute the greatest failing unto God; For as he that stands upon never so strong a place, if he lean against a rotten wall he shall fall, and one that is asleep, when he falls will not know whether failed him, and so if we do but leave to our own wisdom, we shall haply think that God fails; Lord, I wait, I long for thine appearance; Thou art enough Lord, I know not what to say, I am undone without thee; Lord, I hear the poor fly, oh how it flies up and down; Now it is warmed and revived with the warmth of the Sun; yesterday it lay still as dead; surely Lord, if thou wilt shine upon my soul, I should be active and cheerful in thy service; No marvel heaven is so full of thy praises, when thou communicatest thyself so fully to them; the crumbs that fall from thy Table are too much for me, these temporal blessings are more than I can challenge, yet Lord I cannot be content with them, give me thyself, and it sufficeth, for all is nothing and snares without thee.   

Meditat. XL.  
Alas my God, pride and despair divide my life when I find any thing I do in some manner as I should, I begin to be puffed up, and think, that I do more than some others of God's people, and when I look upon my failings, these thoughts begin to arise. It is in vain, I shall never overcome such corruptions, my sins do me more harm by discouraging me then in the commission.   

Meditat. XLI.  
Lord, There is no peace until thou hast all our love; while our heart is divided between the world and thee, we can have no quiet, natural Conscience draws one way, and natural corruptions another way; It is our ignorance that makes us think that there is not enough in thee to satisfy all our desires, and to supply our want, which makes us join the creature with thee; When Lord, when shall all my thoughts be of thee? I am weary of being thus divided; Lord, if I can dispose of myself, I give myself wholly to thee; O refuse not that gift which thou hast so often desired, thou hast said, give me thy hearr, Lord mine heart longs whilst thou hast it; If thou sayest that I do not give myself freely and wholly enough, alas, nor never shall until thou take my heart, and discoverest the secrets of thy love unto me, when thou dost that I shall run after thee; Lord, here's my poor soul, it lies at thy feet, grovelling and gasping for life; the creature hath left me, and I have left the creature, and would not that it should have any more of my love, but it still woos me, and follows me for my love, unless thou overcomest these strong corruptions, I shall never be at quiet.   

Meditat. XLII.  
Sometimes my heart gins to be filled with joy, so that I am ready to cry out, Thou art mine exceeding joy, and then I consider what I shall do, for I am afraid that my joy is false; When I consider how I came by it, whether my prayers have been more fervent and frequent of late, or my repentance more profound, in the midst of this consideration, I can hardly say but think with my self, Why should I delay or refrain my enjoyment of God? and am ready to say within myself, The false joys in God are better than the true joys of the world; these joys are too sweet to let go; Lord Jesus when thou kissest me with the kisses of thy mouth; I will kiss the Son lest he be angry; Lord, thou art too good for me, if I may say so, how could I ever expect that thou shouldest come near me more? The poor love I have makes me say a thousand worlds and a thousand heavens for my God; the small beams of the light of thy countenance are so sweet; Lord, if thou wouldst but continue the joys thou sometimes afford, I had enough, I need not the comforrs of the world to make it up, nor fear that the afflictions of the world though one need continual supplies of comforts to support one, yet they could not spend them.   

Meditat. XLIII.  
I will go to God, saith David, he is mine exceeding joy, a sweet saying, O that there were such a heart in me, yet I have an unenflamed heart, a frozen heart, if I leave all things and myself, I should find thee, but these poor joys of the world quench the joys of the Spirit, I shut out the glorious beams of thy heat and light, and light up the candles of the creatures, which have neither heat nor light in comparison of thine; When I go about to rejoice in thee, my sins come and tell me that they must be mourned for first; Any thing, Lord, any thing, so I may do what is pleasing in thy sight; I am willing to stay for my joys while thou art pleased to give them; Only I beseech and desire these three things of thee. 1. That I may not want grace though I want joys. 2. That I may not go about to make up the want of thy joys with carnal joys, let me not kindle a fire, and walk and rejoice in the light and sparks of what I have kindled, etc. 3. That though thou hast kindled joy, yet that I may have sorrows that are spiritual: Lord, how abundantly good art thou to them that love thee! I lie under the weight of thy love and thy joy; When I come hungry and thirsty to thee, to be satisfied with thy joy to the utmost; I ie now as a Ship upon the shore, while the Tide of thy joys come and lift me up, and carry me into the Ocean of thy goodness; When Marry Magdalene stood weeping at the Sepulchre, thou didst call her by her name, and she forgot all her sorrows, she left her tears, the Sepulchre, and the Angel, and cried out Rabboni, My heart makes me believe that I would give the whole world to see Jesus Christ, for I think if I could see him I should lie down at his feet, and beg his grace, and he would not deny me; This is part of my weakness and want of faith, for he hears my prayers as fully, and is as willing to grant them now he is in heaven, as if he were on earth; Lord Jesus thou that never didst deny any poor soul that came to thee for grace and pardon, thou never sendest them empty away, but grantest their request, Have mercy upon me O Lord, my need and wants are as many and as great as any of them all; and if my sense of my misery be not so great, my misery is so much the greater.   

Meditat. XLIV.  
Lord I perceive that spiritual sorrows and spiritual joys are wholly thy work, for my sins are as many, as great, and of as deep a dye as any in the world that is not the sin against the holy Ghost, and I am fully and sensibly convinced of it that they are so, and yet I am as senseless as if my condition were quite hopeless; for were it not so, could I possibly be so seared as I am? Thou hast said, I will take away the stony heart, Lord, if thou wilt work, who or what can hinder? My corruptions and my sins have and do harden my heart by having and committing them, Nor will they soften it by considering them; What hinders thee from taking away the infidelity and stoniness of my heart? If that hardness and infidelity doth, why that is the thing to be cured: If I were not sick I need not a Physician: Lord, I say not this to justify myself, for it is thou of thy free grace that must justify me, for I am lost: And so for joys and comforts, though I read and hear of the comforts that thou pourest out on others, I am not moved, nay, those very Stories and say which have formerly inflamed me, now are as sparks falling into the Sea, warms not at all: alas, when I shall meet thee at the last day, thy mercies they shall testify against me, when they shall witness my slieghting of them, my fruitlessness under them and unthankfulness for them; What can I say, Alas, my poor soul, we are undone, but that day is not come yet, one hour more, the Lord it may be will give me, Come Lord Jesus, Come quickly, Come into my poor soul, for I am afraid to meet thee at the Tribunal of thy judgement: If thou wert on the earth methinks I could go with confidence to thee that thou wouldst hear me, but now thou art in heaven I cannot; Blessed are they who have not seen and yet believe: Lord, I have received double for all my sins, in respect of any profit or pleasure I have had by them: I have had full measure, pressed down, and running over, but alas, my vexation of spirit is more gall than all the pleasure that I have had that have been worldly, the loss and want of the discoveries of thy love cannot be recompensed with all that the world hath, thy loves are better than wine, indeed in respect of the offence to thee, every prayer deserves hell.   

Meditat. XLV.  
Lord, I am as afraid of comforts as of terrors, for when I have comforts I am subject to pride myself in them, and in stead of having sweet thoughts of thee, have high thoughts of myself; Afflictions breed sorrow, and comforts pride; Sorrow is better than pride, My preaching is my temptation, and my accuser; If I preach not the strictest ways of God, my negligence condemns me, and if I do my Sermons condemn me; For my life is hell, I am afraid of publishing something I have by the help of thy Spirit written, lest my life should do more harm by scandal, than the writings should do good by directing to holiness, and yet sometimes I think that if I publish and own such writings they would be a strong engagement to live more holily; But I have something against that also, for that Motive would in short time lose its strength; Such waxed wings would melt and let me fall to my former ways, and that holiness which is born up with such carnal motives is a poor thing; Lord, how am I distracted and torn in pieces with these thoughts; Nay Lord, if thou wilt have me go with these burdens on my soul, do whatever seems good in thine eyes; If I may but drudge in thy house, though I lie among the pots, yet to be a scullion in thy house is better than to sit at the Table of Princes; Lord, I am undone except thou work a miracle of mercy, yet if I am undone, it may before thou givest me over and discoverest me to the world, thou wilt let me do something more that may glorify thee, and edify the people, nay, it may be thou mayst suffer me as long as I live to do much of which thou mayst have glory; Lord, if my heart be not upright, yet O that my actions and my Preach may be such, that men seeing and hearing them may be stirred up to glorify thee, by doing those things sincerely, which I it may be do out of hypocrisy, I am sure too much hypocrisy; Lord, I have begged for such a heart as may not deceive me, nor dishonour thee, O my God, What shall I do? Nay Lord, what wilt thou do? I am undone unless thou dost work mightily above all I can speak or think, according to that mighty power wherewith thou didst raise the Lord from the dead; O that I might be so raised that I might return no more to corruption.   

Meditat. XLVI.  
By this I know and am sensible, It is not for any man to live by his own strength, by my knowing how impossible it is for a sick man to recover without thee: If a living man cannot speak, how can a condemned man live without thee? If living bones cannot move, how can dry bones live? Lord, thou meetest me not at duties, thou speakest not to me there, thou speakest to me in mercies, and I answer not; in judgements, and I carry myself as a sleepy man that is unwilling to be awaked; What wilt thou do with me Lord, when I will neither speak to thee nor answer thee when thou speakest! O the weakness of my graces, and the power of thy mercies; Those sins I have had a mind to commit, thou hast taken from me the opportunity to commit; It is a comfort to me that I had not opportunity, but it would be a greater comfort not to have a mind.    

An Instance according to the Rules given for meditating on the Scripture.  
A Meditation on these words.  ISA. 66.2. 
But to this man will I look, even to him that is poor, and of a contrite spirit, and trembleth at my Word.  
1. LET us seriously consider O my Soul, That if an Angel, or God himself from Heaven had spoken these words in our hearing, as once Christ did to Paul, when he was going to Damascus, surely I think they would have very much affected us: Is the Word of God less his Word because it is written? I read that the Apostle, 2 Pet. 1.17, 18, 19 speaking of a voice that he himself heard from Heaven, saith, that he had a more sure word of Prophecy, that is, as I conceive, that he was no less sure that the words of the Prophets were the very words of God, than those that he heard with his ears; Then let us not be less affected with these words then if we ourselves had heard God himself speak them.  
2. Nor let us think that they less concern us, then if we had earnestly begged of God to tell us what he would have us to be and do; and as an Answer of our prayers we had heard him speak to us from heaven in particular, To this man will I look that is of a poor and contrite spirit, and trembleth at my Word: For doubtless God hath not caused his Word to be written in vain, at a venture, for whomsoever should read it, but knew not who they were should read it, but he knew every particular person, to whose hand his Word should come, and knew his Word should come to my hands, and I should read these very words, and therefore caused them to be written in particular for my sake, though not exclusively. Christ died for all his people, yet Paul saith, that he loved me and gave himself for me, and Christ did think particularly of Paul, and so of every one else for whom he died and gave himself up as a Sacrifice and ransom, particularly thinking on and intending every one that should be saved by his death: If a Minister should go to one that is given to Swearing, and tell him of the heinousness of that sin, and lay it home to his conscience in private, it generally doth affect him more than to hear the same sin reproved in public, yet he should as particularly apply it then, though he had not in this respect so much reason to apply it, as I have to apply these words to mine own soul; For the Minister doth not nor can actually and particularly intent every one that is guilty of the sins he reproves (for he knows not every particular person that is guilty of the sin he reproves) as God doth every one that reads his word; Therefore let us take this and apply it to ourselves, as if God had sent these words written with his own hand to me in particular: When it is said that the Scripture is written for our learning, etc. Rom. 15.4. I conceive the meaning is not only by way of sufficiency, but by way of intention, efficacy, and decree, in respect of his people, that is, not only that there is a sufficient matter in Scripture to instruct us, but that God did intent and decree that this place of Scripture should instruct every particular one of his people that is instructed by it.  
3. And indeed what is the reason that I now read these words, and do now intent to meditate on them? Is it not, or certainly it ought to be, that I should try whether I am such, and whether I have such an heart and spirit as these words signify, and if I am not so much as I ought to be, that I should humble myself, and be as truly sensible and as much affected, and much more, than I am with those bodily infirmities that lies upon me; and if so be there were a receipt given me, which I had a long time sought for, and endeavoured to get, being assured that if I had it, it would cure me; Surely I should not only read it, because I might be able to tell others what would cure such a disease, or to enable myself to discourse of that matter, but I should read it with abundance of joy, and unquestionable resolution to take it: Alas Lord, why do I not read thy Word so also, where the unquestionable remedies of all spiritual diseases are set down? Surely it is my seaselesnesse of the mischiefs of these spiritual distempers that makes me so little affected with grief for them, and with joy that I have found out the remedies for them.  
4. Blessed God, it is no more in my power to know thee by the strength of mine own abilities, if thou dost not menifest thyself and thy truths unto me, than it is for me to see the Sun without the Sun, therefore Lord do thou take off the Veil that is upon my heart and understanding, and that which is upon thy Truths. I read in thy word that my blessed Saviour did rejoice in spirit, and give thee thanks, because thou didst hid thy Truths from those that were wise and prudent, and reveal them unto babes; O that I were of the number of those babes to whom thou wouldst reveal thy Truths: Lord, give me a powerful, spiritual, experimental knowledge of the Truths that are included in these words.  
5. And holy and blessed Father, If thou wilt be pleased to let me know thy mind in thy Word, though thy commands should be never so cross to my corruptions, (my base corruptions, which have hindered me from a world of joys, grace, and communion with thee, which if it had not been for them I might had long ago) I will do it by the power of thy might; Lordforbid that I should be so wicked as to inquire of thee the Lord (which I do or should do as often as I read the Scripture;) as we read the Jews did desire the Prophet Jeremiah to inquire of thee for them, though they were resolved beforehand what to do; Yet they said, they would do whatever thou shouldest command, whether it were good or evil: Oh that I had at least a heart to resolve to serve thee; If I must want, let me want riches, health, liberty, rather than grace; Rather let me want strength then want a will to serve thee; I had as good sin unwillingly as to do what thou commandest unwillingly; Lord, give me truth in the inward parts.  
6. Those things that lie plain in these words is, that those that are of a poor and contrite spirit, that tremble at the Word of God, are highly esteemed of him; So that poverty of spirit, and contrition of spirit, and trembling at the Word of God, are the three things that are here so highly commended and prized by God.  
7. But now let us seriously consider whether we are thus qualified: Am I poor in spirit? Those that are so have low thoughts of themselves, and are not troubled that others have low thoughts of them too; They like reproofs better than praises; They do not murmur under afflictions, but rather wonder they are no more afflicted; Is it thus with us?  
8. Lord, If there be any thing of poverty of spirit in me, if I take reproofs well, or afflictions in any measure patiently, certain it is, it is not at all from myself: I was born with as proud a heart as any, and certain I am that I did not change mine own heart; Thou takest away the stony heart we do not give thee it.  
9 But alas Lord, I am far from being poor in spirit in any measure according to that which thou in thy Word requirest. My passion and the boilings of my heart, my loving to be called Rabbi, and to be esteemed by others, and many other distempers and corruptions of that nature, which I have daily to struggle withal, evidently prove the pride of my heart, nay, and the afflictions that thou layest upon me plainly show what the corruption is that thou intendest especially to cure, by the Medicine ofttimes one may know what the disease is; and Lord it is in vain (if there were no other end in it then to manifest my distempers to thee) for me to confess the secret pride of mine heart, the strange wind, turn, depths, and strange and new Monsters of pride and hypocrisy; that I might daily discover in myself; Alas Lord thou knowest these altogether, and since thou dost so what cause have I to wonder that thou shouldst shine upon such a dunghill as I am! But Lord, thou that only canst cure me of this pride and hypocrisy of heart, for my prayers cannot, nay, though I consider and am convinced of the desperate wickedness of mine own heart, the vileness of my nature, the abominations of my life, yet these cannot work without thee, as a Plaster though it be never so excellent, laid on the wounds of a dead man, it draws not, it heals not, so are all considerations and convictions to a dead heart.  
2. But alas, what is there in me whereof I should in any measure pride myself? For others to have good thoughts of me is no very strange thing, for so they had of the Scribes and Pharisees; but for one that knows the baseness of his own heart, the carnal grounds, manner, and ends of his actions, and a thousand other distempers and corruptions, for such an one to have high thoughts of himself is, one would think, impossible, But that as to God nothing is impossible, that argues power; so to such a heart as every one hath by nature nothing is impossible, that argues sin; and we have more cause to wonder that we have not committed the sin against the holy Ghost, then that we have done the evils that we have; For certainly had God but given us up to the strength of our own corruptions, and to Satan's subtlety and malice to improve them, we had committed that sin long ago, and alas, what good doth the high esteem of others do us? Are we ever a whit the more holy because they think us so? Nay, hath it not proved a means to make us more sinful? God hath abundantly declared his wrath against this sin, by that vengeance which he hath poured out upon Satan for being guilty of it: How many severe threaten are there in the Word of God against pride, and how many precious promises to those that are humble; The Lord beholds the proud afar off, but to this man will he look that is of a poor and contrite spirit, and trembles at his Word.  
3. What are the things that cause thee to pride thyself? Are they thy gifts either of edification or sanctification? Consider that 1. They are very mean, scarce any of thy calling hath weaker gifts of edification, and no Saint under heaven hath weaket gifts of sanctification. 2. Suppose thy gifts were great, O what a heavy account must there be for mispending such talents? What way canst thou worse misspend them then by priding thyself in them? Do men praise thee? Alas thou mayst go to hell with their praises, for so did the Scribes and Pharisees: Do all men speak well of thee? and dost thou pride thyself and rejoice in that? Fear and tremble at what our Saviour saith, Woe unto you when all men speak well of you, for so did their Fathers of the false Prophets. 3. Consider how unkindly thou dealest with God, thou dost as a woman that should deck herself with the jewels that her husband had given her, nay, that she should give away these Jewels to those with whom she played the harlot, the more to entice them, Is not this the act of an imperious whorish woman? as God himself doth phrase it, Ezek. 16.30. and do but read that Chapter, and you shall see whether you have not abused all the blessings of God more than they did; They spent them in honour to and in worshipping of Idols, and can one make a base Idol in the world to fall down and worship it then ones self?  
4. Let us consider what are the remedies of this sin. 1. Consider how much hell there is in thy heart, What a base and vile wretched nature thou hast; Consider what the Scripture speaks of men in their natural condition, and be sure the Scripture which was written by the Spirit of God, doth not use to do as those vain men do, who when they praise or dispraise, care not whether their expressions are true or false, so they be high enough, and they rather strive to speak as much as they can, then as much as they ought; surely whatsoever the Scripture hath spoken is made good to the utmost by those that are in hell, and would by every man on earth, did God withdraw his restraining, sanctifying grace, and were those sparks of hellfire that is in every one by nature blown up to a flame, and heightened by those sufferings that are there inflicted. 2. Consider how little good and how much corruption there is in our best actions, from what carnal principles, upon what carnal grounds, and for what carnal ends we perform our holy duties; surely there is more sin in our best actions than ever yet we have discovered in our greatest abominations: Do but meditate upon those several considerations set down in the meditation of our sins, and it will be a great preservative and remedy against pride. Lastly, Resolve with thyself never (unless the glory of God may thereby be advanced) to speak or do any thing that may cause others to have high thoughts of thee, or at least not to that end; Whatever good duties thou dost, whether of prayer or alms; etc. as secretly as may be, Let not thy left hand know what thy right hand doth. Though thou art exceedingly to be humbled for thy sins, because they offend and dishonour God, and scandalise Religion, yet let not this at all trouble thee, that thereby the esteem that men have of thee is much abated: To conclude, pray earnestly as if thou wert to pray for thy life, for it is thy life that God would humble thee, desire God to afflict thee, or use any means that he would sanctify to that end; and when thou hast finished thy Meditation, consider what passage hath most affected thee, and keep it in thy thoughts, that by often thinking of it thou mayst be humbled and made to be of a poor and a contrite spirit, that God may delight in thee, and that thou mayst delight in him. Now to the King eternal, the immortal, invisible, and only wise God, be honour and glory, for ever and ever. Amen.  

MEDITAT. I. Of the End for which we were Created.  

Preparation.  
1. BE convinced of and affected with the presence of God.  
2. Desire of God to assist thee with his Spirit.   

Considerations.  
1. Consider, God did not create thee for any need he had of thee (for though thou shouldest do all that he commands thee, thou art an unprofitable servant to him, and thou comest wonderfully short of doing what God commands) but only to declare and exercise his bounty and goodness to thee, in bestowing upon thee his grace in this life, and his glory in the life to come, but as it is in Deuteronomy plainly set down Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and all thy strength, and all thy mind: and to this end he hath enriched thee with understanding to know him; Remembrance to be mindful of him, Will to love him, Imagination to represent his benefits to thy thoughts, eyes to behold the wonders of his works, and a tongue to praise him, etc. 1. Thou being fully convinced of this, thou wilt plainly see that it evidently follows (which is the next thing to consider) that whatsoever is contrary to this end, that hinders thee in or from knowing, loving, serving, and enjoying of God, must be avoided and abhorred as the greatest mischief that can befall thee in the whole world. 2. The second thing that plainly follows from this is, That thou shouldest be little or nothing troubled for the loss of any thing, which though thou losest thou mayst notwithstanding serve God, thou mayst lose thy riches and yet thou mayst be holy, therefore thou must not mourn nor grieve for the loss of friends, of health, etc. 3. Nor must thou much desire and endeavour for those things which no way further thee in this great business of knowing, serving, and following God, but they are to be accounted superfluous and frivolous.  
2. Consider the folly and madness of those who live no otherwise then as if they had been created for no other end then to drink, and eat, and sleep, and dance, and game, or to get riches, and such like fooleries. Certainly if these people were asked whether they did in their consciences think that God created them, that they might spend their lives in dancing, etc. they could not say, yes; None can imagine that hath any understanding, that at the day of judgement God will ask them why they did not dance more, and game more, and gain more riches.  
3. Consider seriously with thyself whether thou livest suitable to the end of thy Creation; think with thyself that when that time which thou spendest in eating, drinking, sleeping, recreation, visits, vanities, is taken from thy life, what a small pittance is left for God, and for the works of thy particular calling, nay, thy sleeping, eating, drinking, recreation, should all be done some way or other to enable and fit thee the better for the service of God; But alas how seldom is it that thou hast thought of fitting thyself for God's service by eating, drinking, etc. Nay, how many times hast thou made thyself unfit for God's service by such things? Now before thou goest any further be fully convinced of these truths, and if any scruple should remain (which cannot though a man be but truly rational) argue and pray them away, for though it may be some Objections may be too hard for thy arguments (which notwithstanding seldom comes to pass, since thy consideration must be of truths so plain, evident and obvious, which all grant) yet not scruples will be too hard for thy prayers.   

Affectione.  
1. Be ashamed and confounded within thyself that thou hast lived so contrary to thine own principles, and that thou hast minded that little or nothing in doing of it as a thing by the buy, which now thou dost but seriously think of it, thou plainly seest to be the main business of thy life, saying thus, Alas, O my God, what did I think of when I thought not of thee? What was I mindful of when I forgot thee? Alas O my Soul, how comes it to pass that we thought of these things no sooner? 'Tis a strange thing that our hearts and the world should so far deceive us that we should prefer eveny trifling thing before that which concerns us more than ten thousand worlds? We have served the world which was not made but to serve us.  
2. Abhor thy life past; Well, I am resolved to leave you, ye vain and sinful pleasures, I will no longer dote upon you, you have but too long bewitched my soul, I might have had a thousand holy thoughts and prayers, and treasures of alms laid up for Eternity, which I am sure I should not have repent of when I come to die, and you vanities have took up my time and stole away my heart and thoughts from these things: Well, I have enough of you, I have done with you, for the rest of my strength and days I will give unto my God  
3. Turn thyself to God, and say, Blessed God, wilt thou accept of the service of a poor wretch, that hath spent so much of his time and strength upon base lusts and vanities? Nay, surely Lord, If thou wilt accept of such a wretch as I am, such a heart, such love, such service as I have, I will give to thee; and for the time to come thou shalt be the very joy of my soul, and the deliciousness of my thoughts, and dost thou indeed entreat and importune me to be reconciled, how wonderful is thy mercy, that notwithstanding I provoked thee hitherto daily to thy face, yet that thou shouldest follow after me to embrace me, whereas what could be expected but that thou shouldest pursue me to destroy me?   

Resolutions.  
Well, by the blessing of God I am resolved that though heretofore I have spent whole days in such and such like recreations, which at best are but vanities, for this month I will either not use such and such recreations at all, or at least spend no more time any day in them then I do in prayer and meditation, and I hope one day the Lord will work in me such a heavenly frame of spirit, that prayer and meditation shall be in stead of a thousand recreations; David was of that temper, for he saith, that he will go to God his exceeding joy, and that the Law of God was dearer to him then thousands of gold or silver, and that his heart was ready to break for the very desires and long that he had after God; O my Soul that will be a rare time when it shall be thus with us; Why should David love God more than we? He forgave David much, but he hath forgiven us more, well O my soul, if thou wilt pray hard, and follow hard after God, thou little knowest what he will do for thee, and the joys that he hath laid up for them that love him even in this world are unspeakable and glorious.   

Conclusion.  
1. Pray: Lord, thou knowest the decitfulnesse of my heart, the strength of my corruptions, and the multitude of snares and temptations which encompass me on every side, especially when I am in worldly employments in company, thou knowest how subject holy flames are to go out, therefore be thou pleased by the holy breathe of thy Spirit to keep these holy fervours of love from being quenched; 'tis not the strength of my resolutions that can enable me to resist temptations; if I am not kept by the mighty power of thee my God, I am lost.  
2. Praise God, blessed be thou O God for any heavenly motion or desire that hath been wrought in me, thou mightst have suffered me as thou dost thousands (I have provoked thee as much as they) never to be convinced of, or affected with these truths, 'tis thy wonderful mercy that thou didst make me for such a blessed end as the enjoyment of thyself, and much greater mercy that thou hast let me know so much, but most of all that thou hast given me a heart to desire and endeavour after it, Bless the Lord, O my Soul.  
3. Acknowledge thy failings, alas Lord, whatsoever is wrought in me that's good, had been fare greater, but that I am green wood to the sparks of thy love; Lord, pardon the iniquity of my holy services; My highest and most inflamed thoughts of thee are unworthy of thee: it is well that I have thee to love, whom I need not fear loving too much.  
After the Meditation is ended,  
1. Think with thyself which of these truths, or what passage of this Meditation did most warm thy heart and affect thee, and fix it, and treasure it up in thy thoughts, keeping it (as it were a nosegay in thy hand, to smell unto all the day.  
2. Set down this that thou hast resolved to spend no more time in such a recreation than thou shalt spend in prayer and Meditation.  
3. Go unwillingly from this duty, and do not rush into worldly businesses, but look to thy heart which is a slippery deceitful thing.    

MEDITAT. II. Of the Mercies of God.  
1. BE convinced of and affected with the presence of God.  
2. Pray, beg of God that he would put such considerations and thoughts into thy heart, that thou mayst be so convinced of and affected with his goodness, that thou mayst love, praise, and serve him.  

Considerations.  
1. Consider how much thou art engaged to God for bodily mercies, he hath given thee thy senses, sight, hearing, and other parts of thy body; If thou didst want thy sight, what wouldst thou give for it if thou wast Emperor of the world? How many thousand pounds wouldst thou give? A Diamond is not therefore worth no more than 6d because a poor man can give no more: if thou shouldst reckon up what thy hands, feet, health, liberty were worth, to what a vast Surn would they arise? Thou hast all these things from God, thou hast not them from thy Parents, they knew not before thou wert born whether thou shouldst be male or female, thou mayst say to God as David did, In thy Book were all my members written.  
2. Consider what faculties of soul God hath given thee; What a miserable condition are mad men in, those that are born natural fools; thou art well, and thousands are sick, thou hast plenty when thousands beg their bread.  
3. Consider what spiritual mercies God hath given thee; how many thousand poor ignorant Heathens are there which never heard of God and of Christ, who were born and bred where the Gospel is not preached, but worship the devil, but thou dwellest in the Sunshine and under the droppings of the Gospel, and are not these great mercies and unvaluable? If thou dost not value them, it argues so much the greater goodness in God to bestow them upon thee; nay, hath not God made thee to know him? he hath not only given thee the light of the Gospel, but eyes to behold it.  
4. Consider the greatness of God; Why should he look after thee, nay, why doth he not destroy thee? Thou art but a worm, nay, a viper: why doth he let thee hang upon his hand of providence, and not shake thee off into hell fire? As we walk we do not step out of our way, to avoid crushing a worm to death: if we see an adder or such a venomous creature, we go out of our way to destroy it; God hath not dealt so with thee, but when thou hast run from God he hath called after thee, and would not suffer thee to perish though thou wouldst; and when thou hast come against him with thy sins and thy rebellions, he hath stood with stretched out arms to embrace thee, Are not these miracles of mercy, O my Soul? how many mercies dost thou receive from God, even at that very time when thou sinnest against him?  
5. Consider the innumerable multitude, the infinite greatness of his mercies, and the wonderful love wherewithal he bestows them: How precious are thy thoughts toward me O God (saith David,) I am sure thou hast just cause to say so also, O my soul. The mercies that God hath bestowed are wonderful, but those that he hath promised are fare greater: What manner of love hath the Father bestowed upon us, that we should be calledth Sons of God Now we are the Sons of God, and it doth not appear what we shall be; That he should make us his Sons is very much; but that he should not spare his own Son that he might spare us, is beyond all admiration.   

Affections.  
Admire the goodness of God; Lord, what is man? what is sinful man that thou shouldst so regard him? What am I that am the worst of men? why art thou so good to me that have been and am so bad? When I was in my blood to the loathing of my person, thou saidst unto me in my blood Live; nay, not only when I was weltering in my own blood, but in the blood of Christ, thou saidst unto me, Live; What did I ever do to deserve those mercies? or what have I or can I do to requite them? As thy glorious Name so thy mercies are extolled above all praises.  
2. Admire thine own ingratitude; Have I so requited my God O my Soul, as to return rebellions for mercies! Hath God heaped upon me so many glowing coals of love and mercy, and is my heart still frozen? Must God only be a loser by his blessings? If man (who is bound to do me good when it lies in power) bestows a small courtesy on me, how do I thank him whensoever I meet him? but though God (who is no way engaged) of his free grace bestows thousands of thousands of blessings, how do I live in the midst of them without ever regarding of them? Nay, my ingratitude is such that I make God a loser by his mercies: If thou Lord hadst made me to beg my bread, I should have been more thankful for one day's food then I am now for a years; Are his mercies less because they are continued? Alas O my Soul, how foolish are we? We do even daily provoke God to take away his blessings, because we will not prise them while we have them; and then there is another thing wherein we do wonderfully ill, if God doth but lay any affliction upon us, and take away but one mercy, in stead of being thankful that we have enjoyed it so long, and that he hath not taken away all, we murmur and repine, and rob him of all the praise that is due for the rest of the mercies we enjoy. Alas, what doth God require of us for all his mercies but this, that we should love him with all our heart, soul and strength?  
3. Stir up thy heart to praise and ; Bless the Lord O my Soul, and all that is within me bless his holy Name; Forget not all his Benefits, who forgiveth all thine iniquities, who healeth all thy diseases; Who redeemeth thy life from destruction, who crowneth thee with loving-kindenesse and tender mercies: Not love God, not praise God O my Soul? why what could God require less at thy hands then these? I have heard of one that being delivered out of a great and long desertion, had much ado to stay within doors and not run into the streets and stay every one she met, that she might tell them what God had done for her soul: How do the Angel's love and praise God to all Eternity? and why should the Angel's love and praise God more than I? He never forgave them one sin, he hath forgiven me thousands, 'tis true they are in glory, so shall I be too if I be not unthankful for the mercies I have received.   

Resolutions.  
I am resolved for the time to come to sing Psalms oftener, I have not enough delighted in that duty: 'Tis strange that that which is the happiness of heaven I should find so little delight in: well, for this next Month I will spend one hour a week in meditating upon the mercies and love of God; His mercies are enough, and great enough surely to take up so much time, for in heaven Eternity is little enough to admire them.   

Conclusion.  
1. Pray, desire God that he would by his Spirit blow these coals of mercies, that he may inflame thy heart with love and joy and praise of him; alas otherwise the judgements of God will not affect us, nor the mercies of God inflame us; 'tis the Spirit that quickeneth, else mercies will not profit.  
2. Praise God, Call upon thy soul again and again, awaken thy heart, let it not be so drowsy at a work of so great importance.  
3. Acknowledge, that were thy heart ought, thy mouth and thy heart would be filled with the praises of God, acknowledge that is no want of matter, and motives of praise in the truths which thou hast considered, but thy heart is so dead that nothing almost will work upon it.  
After the Meditation is ended think with thyself what truths did most affect thee, etc.  
2. Writ down thy resolution, etc.  
3. Go unwillingly from this duty.    

MEDITAT. III.  

Of Sin.  
1. BE convinced of and affected with the presence of God.  
2. Desire God to assist thee in this Meditation.   

Considerations.  
1. Consider seriously how much God abhors sin, and how odious it is to him; this you may see both by what God hath said and what God hath done to show the abhorrence of it.  
2. Sinners, it is said that God loatheth them, and they loath God, Zec. 11.8. and God by his Prophet crieth out, saying, O do not this abominable thing which I hate; How often doth God profess his hatred of sin? if one should spit in a man's face, or lay toads or Serpents in his bosom, or whatsoever you could imagine, it could not be so abominable to him as sin is to God, he hates it more than we hate hell; how can we know any one's hatred of any thing but by his expressions and his actions, suppose you should see one take some curious, costly, or rare dish of meat which he loved above any meat in the world, and because there was some small crumb of another meat which he had an antipathy against, he should fling all with violence and detestation away, were not this enough to satisfy you that he abhorred that meat, a crumb whereof made him abhor that which he so much loved? Suppose you should see one take a Watch, whose wheels and all the rest were cut out of entire Diamonds, and spying some little small, and almost indiscernible spider in it, should fling it to the ground with so much violence that he should break it all to pieces, it would evidently argue how much he detested a spider: What excellent Creatures are Angels, and yet because a sin though but of thought was found in them, how doth it cast them like lightning into hell! Suppose further thou shouldst see the meekest, wisest man, and lovingest Father in the world, taking his Son, and scourging of him with rod after rod, until that he wereall of gore blood from head to foot, and though he cried out and begged of his Father to spare, yet he would not spare him, but scourged him to death: Would you not say that the Son had done somewhat that the Father did wonderfully abhor? Hath not God dealt thus with Christ? Did he not chastise him until he shed blood from the Crown of the head to the sole of the feet? Did not Christ die under his correcting hand? Did not Christ cry out again and again, Father if it be possible let this cup pass from me? And did he not love Christ more than any Father loved his Son, and all this because Christ was guilty of sin, though but as a Surety; these things are not inventions of wit or rhetoric, but real truths; If the destroying of Sodom, Gomorrha, Jerusalem, Angels, and the most part of Adam's posterity, and the whole world, save eight persons; If the Sufferings of Christ be not enough to satisfy thee of God's hatred of sin, than thou mayst go on to thy own destruction: but know this that it will be bitterness at the last.  
2. Consider what thou dost when thou sinnest, every sinner doth virtually put heaven and Christ, and God, and his favour and loving kindness, and all his promises in one scale, and that pleasure, profit, or honour which sin promiseth, with a wounded conscience, the torments of hell, the wrath of God in the other scale, and doubtless virtually a sinner choosech sin with all these mischiefs, before the service of God with all his mercies. It is as if a sinner should say, Rather than I will not satisfy my base lust; I will part with God, with Christ, with heaven and all, I will suffer his wrath, let God do his worst I will have my will; Every obstinate sinner doth in his heart say thus, and though now thou little imaginest it, yet at the day of judgement this will be made as manifest to thee as if it were writ with a beam of the Sun; Things that now seem less consequent, shall then be made evident: A wicked wretch that sees one of God's people hungry, naked, imprisoned, and doth not relieve him; he little thinks that is all one as if he had seen Christ so, and not relieved him; but at the day of judgement Christ will make it manifest unto him.  
3. Consider how often thou hast sinned against God, Every unconverted man doth nothing else, his ploughing is an abomination, all his imaginations are only evil and that continually: Nay, though thou art one of God's people, yet David cries out, that his sins are more in number then the hairs of his head, and dost thou think thy sins are fewer than David's? How many years hast thou lived? how many days, hours, minutes? thy sins are more; The Hourglass that runs hath not so many sands in it as the sins that thou committest in that hour; If thou dost not believe this consider, that there is not one of thy thoughts, words, actions, but is polluted with abundance of sins; If thou sayest [Our Father] since thou dost not speak it with that reverence, attention, fervency, faith, love, joy, confidence, admiration of his goodness, and many other which we are engaged to have, when we call God by the Name of Father, thou becomest guilty of all the contrary sins, and many more that are not named, in speaking that one word in thy prayer not as thou oughtest. Fear not making thy sins seem greater or more than they are.  
4. Consider further for what trifling vanity, nay for what base things that thou wilt be ashamed to own before men, thou hast lost God, lost thine own soul, if thou returnest not, and hast brought on thyself more miseries than the tongue of man can express, or the heart of man conceive: there is nothing that thou seest with thy eyes, or hearest with thy ears, or feelest with thy hand, is more certainly true than this. But alas, because thou hast heard it so often, and God of his infinite goodness and patience hath not made thee yet to feel the stroke of his justice, and the misery due to sin; thou wilt not believe him, though his threaten be never so clearly set down and with much earnestness.  
5. Consider against what precious mercies, what sweet love, what blessed experience, holy inspirations, what abundance of means, strong resolutions, precious promises, clear light, etc. thou hast sinned.   

Affections.  
1. Pray to God to help to a further sense of the sinfulness of sin.  
Blessed God, must all these considerations pass as a Serpent on a stone without making any impression upon my soul? Lord give me an affecting knowledge of the sinfulness of sin, and not have such slight thoughts of sin as I have had; but grant that I may esteem of sin as thou esteemest it.  
2. Talk with thine own soul about this matter. O my soul are these considerations true or false? if thou thinkest them false, bring thy objection, show wherein the error lies, which thou canst never do; but if they be true (as certainly they are) how comes it to pass that we have made nothing of sin? 'tis in vain for us to put off the sense of our sins until it be too late.  
3. Be confounded and ashamed in the presence of God; Alas O Lord my God, as a thief is ashamed when he is taken, or as a woman is ashamed when her adulteries are found out by her loving husband; so and a thousand times more I desire to be confounded and ashamed in thy presence, when I consider, how abominable my life hath been; and how that I have committed my abominations even in thy sight, and provoked thee to thy face; and had not thy patience and mercy been infinite, thou couldst never have stood out against so many provocations: I had been in hell roaring and blaspheming long before this day; and then I had been past prayers, and past mercies, and past pardon: What shall Isay unto thee O thou preserver of men? to excuse my sins I cannot, I have nothing but the multitude of thy tender compassions, and thy free grace in Jesus Christ to fly unto; Lord lay my sins home to me to humble me, and to break my stony heart, but lay them not to my charge to condemn me. If thou hadst not in thy word promised forgiveness to sinners through Jesus Christ, I could no more hope to obtain pardon, than even the devils themselves.   

Resolutions.  
It is enough O my soul, and too too much, that we have been undoing ourselves and provoking God thus long: that we have as it were with all our power pulled down the vengeance of God upon us, and as it were kindling his wrath against us, but he hath not suffered his whole displeasure to arise, nor suffered us to perish though we would; blessed be his Name that we have not committed the sin against the holy Ghost; which we certainly had done, had he given us up to the strength of our own corruptions, and to the power and malice of Satan to improve them to our destruction. Is it true indeed that God saith, Yet return, and I will save thee, doth he stand with stretched out arms? doth he indeed stand with stretched out arms to embrace us? is it possible he should be so gracious to forgive such and so many sins, and of such long continuance? Well, blessed be God, we will go unto him, and never offend him more. We will hereafter whensoever we are tempted unto sin, say, What sin against such love, such mercy, such experiences? offend that God that hath pardoned us? that hath done such things for us, and is not content with that, but hath promised to do more? I will not hereafter stand parlying with temptations, but I will cry out unto God, and say; Lord help me, for I suffer violence, and in particular, I am in some measure sensible that I pray not with that fervency and reverence as I ought to do; for the time to come, I shall (by the blessing of God) mend that: I am too passionate, well, since God hath been so gracious, as to forgive so many, so great, so grievous sins, that mine own heart is not able to understand their vileness or number; I will not hereafter be troubled when I hear my neighbour or underling, or when I hear my fellow N. use such or such taunting words against me, I will not be provoked by this or that despite or contemptuous trick, that he or she doth use against me, but rather I will endeavour to say or do such a thing, to gain his good will, and to pacify his anger conceived against me; for certainly his injuries are not comparable to my sins; and yet God forgive me them, there is a difference between I. N. and me, I am resolved I will go to him, and be reconciled this very day; or if I cannot, I will pray for him and speak well of him this very day, if I have occasion to speak of him at all: howsoever I will pray for him now.   

Conclusion.  
1. Pray: desire God that he would increase thy detestation of sin, and that thou mightst as well hate sin as leave sin, and that he would not let any spark that hath been kindled by his own Spirit go out in thee: Say unto him; Lord, I do not beg riches, I can go to heaven without them, please thee without them; but I beg of thee grace, and strength against corruptions, pardon of sins, if thou deniest me these, I am undone.  
2. Praise God: Blessed be thy Name that my heart hath been in any measure affected with the hatred of sin, that I have in any measure known and considered the things that belong to my peace; thou mightst have suffered me to drop into hell, and never to have thought of it before I had been there, but thou hast not dealt so with me.  
3. Acknowledge thine own unworthiness of so great patience as God hath exercised towards thee; thine inability to think any of those good thoughts that thou hast had, etc. as is in the first Meditation.  
After all, think what passages most affected thee.  
2. Writ down thy resolutions, etc.  
3. Go unwillingly from the duty.    

MEDITAT. iv Of Death.  
1. BE convinced of and affected with the presence of God.  
2. Pray for his assistance.  

Considerations.  
1. Canst thou not remember that thou wert by such an one when he died, didst thou not see how his countenance failed, his eyestrings broke; how he grew weaker and weaker, at last grew speechless; how he throttled in the throat, how his teeth grated, how he sweated and struggled for life, and at last gasped, and died: consider that thus thou must do likewise, how soon the Lord only knows; that thou art well now is nothing, that thou art young and strong now is nothing, for how many are there that have been strong, and well, and as young as thou, within a very few days after have been in their grave. That thou must die is certain, when, where, how, none knows but he that made thee: only this is true, that generally men die sooner than they expect.  
2. Consider that there will be an end of the world as to thee; thou must leave riches, friends, wife, children, houses, lands, and thine own body also. Thy friends may stand weeping by, but they cannot prolong thy life one minute.  
3. Consider that when thou comest to die, it will certainly not repent thee that thou hast spent so much time in prayer, so much in meditation, so much in holy duties; it was never known since the world began, that any one did then say, O that I had prayed less; though these holy duties now seem irksome and troublesome to thee, doubtless than they shall bring more comfort to thee, than all those riches and vanities in which thou hast spent so much time and took so much delight in. These things are certain and infallible; our understandings cannot, (O that our lives did not) deny them.  
Consider how that the dearest friends thou hast in the world, will hasten thy filthy carcase out of the doors; they will scarce dare to stay with it alone, but say as Abraham did, Let me bury my dead out of my sight: and then how seldom will they think or speak of thee; or if they do, what good will it do thee.  
5. Consider, alas, poor man whether will thy soul go then, to hell or to heaven: dost thou know to which? dost thou not think thou shalt go that way which thou hast gone all thy life long? if thou hast walked in the ways of hell, how canst thou imagine that at the end of that journey thou shouldst arrive at heaven.  
6. Consider what good will all thy wealth, all thy pleasures, all thy vanities do thee at that day? they will all vanish as doth the morning dew. Alas who knows not all these things, and yet not one of a thousand consider and lay them to heart, and to know these truth and live unsuitably to them, doth but add to our folly and madness: O that they were wise, saith God, that they would consider their latter end. These serious considerations of our death, and preparation for it, is one of the chiefest points of wisdom in the world.  
7. Consider if thou miscarry in this great work of concernment, viz. thy death, thou art undone for ever. If thou mightest live again and mend that error which thou committedst in thy dying ill, than there were some hope, but it is appointed for all men once to die, and but once.   

Affections.  
1. Abhor sin; It is you and you only that can make that hour miserable unto me; Alas, O my Soul, though we now have slight thoughts of such and such sins, through the deceitfulness of Satan and our own hearts, yet at that hour if we had a thousand worlds, we would give them all, for that which we have so little regarded while we live, viz. that we had kept a strict Communion with God, and watch over our own hearts.  
2. Despise the world; O ye vanities and fooleries of the world, why should I spend my time and strength in following after you? What have ye done for me, or what can you do? when I shall stand most in need of comfort, you will not only prove vanities but vexation of spirit: Solomon hath tried you, and he hath from his own experience, and from the teachings of the Spirit, hath told me that you are but vanity, and all men when they come to die set their Seal to this Truth: Shall I to mine own destruction yield to your enticements? why should I not have the same opinion of you now, as I certainly shall have when I come to die?  
3. Humble thyself before God and cast thyself into his arms of love; beg wisdom of him; every night I am a day nearer my grave then in the morning; I am nearer to it but Lord make me fit for my grave, and when that hour shall come, let it not come as a thief in the night to rob me of all my comforts, and rather than that hour should not be an happy hour, let my whole life be nothing but affliction and misery; Alas Lord, if thou deniest me this Petition what wilt thou give me? Thou hast said, O that they were wise that they would consider their latter end, and I said, Lord teach me so to number my days that I may apply my heart to wisdom.   

Resolutions.  
O my Soul, since things are thus, let us not resist known truths, shall we neglect these truths because they are plain; if they are abstruse than we doubt them; If they are plain shall we despise them? Dost thou not know how soon thou shalt die, then what have we to do that must be done before we die, do it with all thy might, for the night comes wherein no man works: My children are not yet sufficiently instructed in the ways of God, I will set apart half an hour in a day to instruct them for this month, or give so much to the poor every time I miss: there is such a neighbour or acquaintance who goes on in wicked ways, and my words have so much power with him, that I am confident if I do earnestly beg of God to bless me in the work, and take him privately, and lay before him his danger, and press him to holiness, he may be wrought upon, I have omitted it hitherto, but I am resolved sometime within a week to take some opportunity to speak seriously and home unto him, or give so much to the poor, and so every week give so much to the poor, until I have spoke with him, etc. And since it so much concerns me to be prepared for death, I will every day make it one special clause of my prayer to beg of God that he would fit me for that hour, and I will lay up treasury in heaven by giving to the poor, and make myself friends of this unrighteous Mammon, that when I fail they may receive me into their habitations.   

Conclusion.  
1. Pray, Beg of God that he would increase in thee strong, spiritual apprehensions of death, and that the thoughts of death might embitter every unlawful pleasure to thee; Say unto God, Lord, how few days are between me and eternity, whether of horror or of glory, I am not yet fully satisfied; It is a sad thing that a thing of so great concernment I should be uncertain of; O blessed God, let this Meditation so work upon me that I may not cease to pray unto thee, and to examine myself, and use all holy means for the making of my calling and Election sure; For very shortly I shall be passed praying, past examining; for when thou shalt summon me out of this life, than I must come to judgement, therefore those resolutions that I have made of walking more strictly, give me grace to perform them to the utmost.  
2. Praise God, blessed be thy Name O God for any inward motions of thy Spirit that thou hast afforded me, and for any, etc.  
3. Acknowledge thy weakness, etc. blessed God if my heart were not so base, so hard, so vile, that it always hindereth me either in holy duties, or from holy duties, it were not possible but that such serious truths, such powerful, spiritual, practical truths, should have wrought so mightily upon me, that I should never from this very hour be deceived any more with the vanities of the world, but should have set myself and made it my business to prepare for that great day, etc.  
After all, 1. Think what passages most affected thee.  
2. Writ down thy Resolutions, etc.  
3. Go unwillingly from the duty.    

MEDITAT. V Of the Day of Judgement.  
1. BE convinced of and affected with the presence of God.  
2. Beg of God that he would enable thee seriously to think of, firmly to believe, and strongly to be affected with the truths concerning the day of Judgement.  

Considerations.  
1. Consider how dreadful and terrible that day would be when the Sea shall roar, when the very powers of heaven shall be shaken, when Christ shall come with thousands of his Angels in flaming fire: when an Angel came down from Heaven to roll away the stone, the Soldiers that watched there became as dead men; nay, the holiest men that have lived have been exceedingly afraid, when at things of fare less terror than those things are which will be at the day of Judgement; For Moses himself did exceedingly fear and tremble when he heard and saw the terrible signs that were at the giving of the Law, and the blessed Apostle, Heb. 12.21. became as a dead man when he saw Christ not in flaming fire as he shall appear at the day of Judgement, Rev. 1.17.  
2. Consider that at the day of Judgement sin will appear out of measure sinful, for than it will appear with all its aggravations, for the Majesty, holiness, and mercies of God will appear in their perfect glory, Men shall then know what it is to sin against God, our Ignorance of God now makes us so senseless of the sinfulness of sin, but when God shall appear like himself how shall those sins that men now make light of make them run mad with despair.  
3. Consider O my Soul, that those excuses that now quiet thee will not serve at that day, nay, thou wilt be ashamed to own them.  
4. Consider how strict an account God will require of thee at that day, if only thy grosser abominations that are odious in the sight of all men should be brought to judgement; but the smallest sin that ever thou committest, every idle word, and every vain thought, the very grounds, manner, and ends of thy most hely performances shall then appear more dreadfully sinful then now the most crying sin that ever thou committedst doth.  
5. Consider that every one of thy thoughts, words, and actions whether good or evil shall be brought to Judgement, even thy most secret and unknown sins to thyself or others. Consider O my Soul what shame and confusion will cover thee at that day, dost thou not remember that at such and such a time what thou didst in secret: Suppose all those sins that ever thou committest in private should be known to all in England, or should be writ on thy forehead, that all that saw thee might read them, wouldst thou not be ashamed to come into any company? but what is this to that which shall be at that day, when all the secret sins shall be published before all, Men, Angels, and God himself; these are not inventions of men to terrify thee, but truths of God to reform thee.  
6. Consider how fully and clearly thou shalt be convinced that day of thy sins, those with whom thou hast committed them will witness against thee, thy dearest Friends that thou hadst in the world must and will testify against thee; nay, Satan that tempted thee to those sins, and God that forbade thee those sins, nay, thine own conscience (which then will as perfectly remember every sin with its aggravating circumstances as if it were but then committed) will be a swift witness against thee; this will be that worm that dies not; a clamorous and a wounded conscience are insupportable even in this life, but neither are the clamours so loud, nor the wounds so deep and pestilent as then they will be.  
7. Consider the dreadful Sentence of Condemnation that God will pass upon the wicked, viz. Go ye cursed into everlasting fire prepared for the devil and his Angels; Wicked men know not now what it is to departed from God, but then they shall know; for God before Men and Angels in fury poured out, to bid them be gone, and call them Cursed wretches, who knows the horror of it? If the wrath of a King be as the roaring of a Lion, what will the wrath of God be? Consider further, that word is everlasting fire and eternity; How dreadful art thou further to have such miserable Companions as devils, if the devil should appear to thee when thou art alone how couldst thou bear it?  
8. Consider the sweet Sentence that shall pass from the gracious mouth of Christ to his people, viz. Come ye blessed of my Father inherit the Kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world: and how sweet will those words be, when in the midst of all their fears and troubles the righteous shall hear that Sentence of absolution; What abundance of comfort have the people of God when God manifesteth and gives them his loves even in this life, and seals them to the day of redemption, and lets them see their names written in the Book of life, giving them full assurance that he is theirs, and they are his; but alas, all those joys may not be compared to these: the testimony of our own conscience, and the witnessing of the Spirit, the manifestations of his love, and the smiles of his countenance are not so clear, so full, so lasting, as they shall then be, no more to be compared to them then the light of the Sun is to that of a spark of fire: for Christ to call us blessed, is more than for all the world and for all the Angels in heaven to call us so: doubtless it did exceedingly affect Daniel when the Angel told him that he was greatly beloved, Dan. 9.23. If thou hadst a thousand worlds O my soul, wouldst thou not give all for this, that God would say so to thee; Well, if thou wilt be watchful over thy ways, live holily, love and believe in Christ, and repent, the day will shortly come when Christ shall say that and much more.   

Affections and Resolutions.  
1. Tremble O my Soul when thou thinkest of these things, Why are not thou exceedingly affected with the thought of them; hast thou such a full assurance, or is thy life such that thou needest not fear; Was not Moses and John as holy as thou? Was not John the beloved Disciple, and Moses one with whom God spoke face to face, and yet they trembled: O my Soul, it is much to be feared that it is ignorance and infidelity not a Gospel-assurance that makes thee so senseless; nay; it is infallibly certain, that whosoever lives wickedly and trembles not at the thought of judgement, it proceeds from a conscience seared with a hot Iron.  
2. Admire and be astonished at the miserable condition of all those that live without God in the world, such are all they that repent not and believe not the Gospel.  
3. Examine and try thyself O my soul, Let us judge ourselves that we be not judged; We may easily know what Questions shall be put to us that day, we must be judged by the Word of God, then let us judge ourselves by it now; do we indeed strive to enter in at the strait gate; May that which we do in the service of God be truly called striving or not? Can a saint prayer be called striving or not? when every temptation at the first assault overcomes thee, and thou fightest not a stroke; Is this striving? Is this to fight a good fight? and resisting unto blood? Do we think that God at the day of judgement will avouch this striving? nay, can our own Conscience think it so now? Be not deceived God is not mocked.  
4. Pray, O blessed God, thou that art the great and just Judge of all men, be pleased to fit and prepare me for that, that that day may not come so as a thief in the night as to rob me of all my comforts, deal with me how it seems good in thy eyes, afflict me, chastise me, only let me be saved in the day of the Lord.  
5. O my Soul, Let us truly consider what we are to do, and how we are to live, that when others at that day shall call to the hills and to the Mountains to fall upon them, and to hid them from the wrath of the Lamb, we may lift up our heads because our salvation draweth near: Well, O my soul, I read in the Word of God that the neglecting to judge ourselves and the judging of others, are two sins that will cause all those to be judged and condemned that live in them, therefore I am resolved by the gracious assistance of the Spirit of God for the time to come, never to censure or judge any one, as I have done; and frequently to examine myself, and as frequently and severely to judge myself as formerly I have used to censure and judge others, and to use as much lenity, mildness in judging and censuring others, as ever I did in censuring my own ways, and if. I do speak ill of any one, I will, if I remember it when I am before the Throne of grace, not only beg pardon of my sin in rash judging, but as much as in me lies make him some restitution by putting up as many prayers for him as I have spoke evil things of him: and let us further resolve of my soul, and by thy blessed assistance O God. I am resolved, and do promise before thee for the time to come frequently, and I beseech thee that I may always do it before I do or speak any thing, consider whether I dare own that action or that word at the day of judgement, and if I dare not own it, I will not dare to do or speak it; and when at any time I think of omitting of any holy duty, and think that such or such an excuse will serve, I will bring it before the Judgement Seat of God, by seriously considering with myself whether in my conscience I think that God will take that for a sufficient excuse at that great day: For the Conclusion of this Exercise I refer you to the Conclusions of the former Meditations, for I am loath that this Manual should swell too much.    

MEDITAT. VI Of Hell.  
BE convinced of and affected with the presence of God.  

Considerations.  
1. Consider O my soul the greatness of these torments; certainly if God so heavily afflicts his own people as he did Job, Heman, and divers of his people who have been in dissertion many years: How sad are the expressions of David, he saith he roared for the disquietness of his soul: And how many sad expressions has Job, that he had not time to swallow his spittle; and how that he chose rather a strangling then life, and many other exceeding sad expressions, which could never have proceeded from an holy man, who is set before us as a pattern of patience, if his afflictions had not been very great: and Heman said, that the terrors of the Lord were so great, that he was almost distracted with them: and so from his youth up until that time that he writ that Psalm. Psal. 88 If this be done to the green tree, what shall be done to the dry? And if God chastise his people with such rods, what scorpions shall the damned be scourged with? and if the righteous have been thus afflicted, tossed with tempests and not comforted, where shall the wicked and ungodly appear? what shall the portion of their cup be? even the dregs of the vials of God's wrath; for upon the wicked he shall rain snares fire and brimstone and a horrible tempest.  
2. Consider what the sufferings of Christ were; if we do truly and seriously consider how much those words signify, when our Saviour saith, My soul is heavy to the death, we shall be helped to understand what our Saviour's sorrows were. If the wisest, holiest and patientest man in the world, who was not oppressed or distempered at all by reason of any bodily distemper of melancholy, I say, if such a man should come to an intimate bosom friend, and with a sad countenance should tell him that he was even ready to die, because of the abundance of grief and sadness that lay upon his spirit, would not this argue that his sorrows were exceeding great? especially when his friend never heard him to complain in all his life, though the injuries and sufferings had been very great all along: If he should further say unto his friend, I beseech you to watch with me; surely it would argue an heart overwhelmed with grief. Now I say for our Saviour to say so to his Disciple, and afterward to sweat blood, O what unknown sorrows did our Saviour feel! How then is it possible for the wicked to escape, when God spared not his own Son though he was but a surety; and those sorrows that made him groan, will crush thee to pieces; Woe be to that man that is to satisfy the justice of God in his own person.  
3. Consider O my soul the sad aggravating concommitants of these torments; every member and faculty both of body and soul shall be tormented: here if our head aches, may be our heart doth not ache; if we have the Stone, we have not the Gout, or if both them, yet not some other torturing disease; or if the whole body be tortured, yet one may possess his soul in patience; but to have a tortured body and a wounded conscience, who can bear it? besides all this, none can help, none will pity those that are in hell; nay what is the height of misery, that way God himself shall in the midst of all their roar and tortures, laugh at their calamity when it comes as desolation and as a whirlwind upon them.  
4. Consider seriously what Eternity means; for ever, ever, ever, to be tormented, is an an overwhelming consideration: to lie under the torture of the Stone but one night, how tedious is it; but to be tormented to all eternity, O it is the hell of hells.   

Affections and Resolutions.  
Be astonished and tremble at the wrath of the Lord: Alas O my soul why dost thou not tremble as Felix did, when thou considerest these things, why art not thou more sensible of the power of his wrath? do not the foundations of the earth tremble, and the pillars of Heaven shake when he is angry; and how comes it to pass, that thou art so little affected with these things? hast thou full assurance of the favour of God? when was it sealed? surely the very possibility that these things should come upon us, should very much affect us.  
2. Pray: O blessed God, thou that hast the keys of death and of hell, take pity on me; and though I neither understand nor am sensible in any considerable measure either of the miseries of hell or of my own danger in falling into them, Lord how thou knowest both, let the bowels of thy compassion earn towards me, and never suffer me to fall into that devouring fire, and into those everlasting burn: blessed be thy Name that I am on this side of hell, if thou hadst cast me into that place of torment, as I have daily provoked thee to do, I had been past hopes, past prayers, past mercies, past repentance; I beseech thee O Lord that thou wilt chasten me, that I may not be condemned with the world.  
3. Despise and abhor the sinful vanities and pleasures of the world: O vain world there is nothing in thee but sin and misery, temptations, vanity and vexation of spirit, and are thy vain profits and pleasures so much to be valued, as for them to dwell in devouring fire? and are the pleasures of sin that are but for a season, so much worth, that for them we should dwell in everlasting burn? Have we not had frequent experiences, that the sorrows we have had for committing of sin, have fare exceeded the pleasures that we have had in committing of it, and surely the terrors of an awaked conscience, are not to be compared with the horrors of the damned, and other insupportable and endless miseries of that place of torment.  
Come O my soul, let us not deceive and flatter ourselves with vain and false hopes of the mercies of God: it is true, God is very merciful to them that fear him, and we may be sure of this, that if we do sincerely desire and endeavour to serve him, that we shall find his mercies as much above our thoughts and expectations of them, as the heavens are above the earth; but if we slight them and are careless of his service, and turn his grace into wantonness, let us not deceive ourselves with vain words, for because of these things comes the wrath of God upon the children of disobedience: and those that live so, shall surely find, that at that day the mercies of God will not serve at all to mitigate, but abundantly to justify the wrath and fury of God that he shall pour out upon the wicked: then they shall pay for every mercy they have received, and the riches of his despised goodness shall but increase the treasures of his wrath: therefore O my soul, since these things are so, what are we to do? why do we not fear him that can cast both body and soul into hell? The Prophet Habacuc, when he did but think but of some temporal judgements that God had threatened, rottenness entered into his bones. If indeed the love of God did constrain us, so that we did from a principle of love make conscience of sin, so that we never offend God, it were well; but since we plainly find that it is not strong enough alone, let us not fear to call in and improve the consideration of the torments of hell to deter us from sin; the motive is imperfect but not sinful; our great work we have to do in the world, next to the glory of God, is to avoid hell, and obtain heaven, and to resist our now three great enemies the world, the flesh and the devil, who endeavour day and night to drive us headlong into perdition. If any one in the world, much more if the devil should appear to us, and offer us such a sum of money if we would give him our souls that we might be damned, we think we should abhor him and his offer; but alas doth not every one that useth by extortion and violence either getteth or keepeth what is not his, do the same thing? his damnation it as certain and as infallible, though more secretly and invisibly contrived by Satan, as if Satan should visibly appear to him and he make a contract with him: therefore O my soul let us take heed of the wiles of Satan, for he generally works by the world, and the flesh to deceive us, therefore let us now resolve by the blessing of God to look upon the world and the flesh, to be as dangerous and implacable enemies as Satan himself, let us not endeavour to please the world by vain discourses, by omitting what God commands, or doing what he forbids: Let us not be troubled but rather rejoice; when we are reviled and scorned for righteousness sake; For the time to come when I am to do any religious duty, I will not so much as consider what men will judge or say of me, nor endeavour to make the world my Friend, since God himself hath set enmity between us; and as for the flesh I am sure we are no debtors unto that, we have paid it fare more than ever we owed it, therefore for the time to come I will rather abstain from lawful, then use unlawful pleasures, and I will take heed not only of those pleasures that are unlawful in kind, but those also that are unlawful in degree: and that I may better avoid unlawful pleasures, I will sometimes abstain from those that are lawful; and having seriously considered, I am convinced of this, that I have not made conscience enough in the matter of sleep, I have not redeemed the time from that, nor have enough considered the sinfulness of it, but like the sluggard that Solomon speaks of, have turned upon my bed as a door upon the hinges, therefore henceforth I shall endeavour to get as much time from sleep, as the health and strength of my body will permit: and because I am confident that if the damned were in their natures changed, and were to live again on earth, they would think it a blessed change, to change their howl into singing of Psalms, and their roar into Prayers, nay if they were to live Methuselahs' age upon the rack: Therefore whensoever I am at any time tempted to be weary of this labour of love that is to be undertaken in the hardest duties of religion, I will endeavour to shame myself out of that temptation, by thinking thus with myself, that hell is so much worse than we can suffer in this world, either in God's service or for God's service; that it were not only a desperate wickedness but madness, for the avoiding of the one to fall into the other. For the conclusion of this Meditation, observe the Directions and Instances of former Meditations.    

MEDITAT. VII. Of Heaven.  
1. BE convinced of and affected with the presence of God.  
2. Pray to God to assist and enable thee in the work.  

Considerations.  
1. Consider O my soul the wonderful greatness and incomprehensibleness of those joys. For 1. Consider what great things God hath given to wicked men in this work, what vast dominions, power, wisdom, learning, majesty, and indeed as to the things of the world as much as their hearts can desire; if God gives such things to Dogs and Swine, what may we think are the dainties of that banquet which God feasts his children withal.  
2. Behold the earth and the Heavens in the height of the beauty of the Spring, and in the strength of the glory of the Sun, how delightful a sight is it to behold the works of God's Creation here below, the commonness of this sight much abates the delight and wonder of it; but doubtless if a man that were born blind should when he had attained to the full perfection of his age and understanding, be placed in a Paradise as Adam was, and should see as soon as his eyes were opened, the earth adorned with all manner of curious flowers and trees laden with all manner of fruits, and the Sun shining in its full strength, how wonderfully delightful would such a sight be? and if the footstool of God be so rich, how glorious is his throne.  
3. Consider the wonderful manifestations and joys that God hath bestowed upon his people in this life, they are unspeakable and glorious: Some have cried out, Lord, either withhold thy comforts, or enlarge the vessel, for I am not able to bear my joys. We read of Daniel, that the manifestations that God gave him, drunk up his spirit, and made him sick some days after, Dan. 8.27. Such joys have been so great, that they have sweetened the bitterest persecutions; they have made them clap their hands for joy in the midst of flames, and cry out in the ravishment of their spirits, O ye Papists you talk of miracles, but here is a miracle, I am in the midst of these flames as in a bed of Roses. But alas what are the joys that God communicates to his people in this life, they are but as the drop of the bucket to the whole Ocean: the Apostle tells us, that it doth not appear what we shall be. We would give if we had it a thousand worlds, one would give all to enjoy these spiritual sanctifying ravishment of spirit one day; If these than are so sweet, what are those things that thou hast laid up for them that love thee!  
4. Consider, that God hath prepared these joys, on purpose to glorify his goodness, and power, and wisdom, in preparing joys for his people worthy of his magnificence and love; he doth it for that end, that he may be glorified and admired in all his Saints; and what cannot infinite power and wisdom, and what will not infinite love and goodness do, when they set themselves to prepare an entertainment, and to bestow a reward that may set forth their greatness? What do Kings do in such cases? that which is accounted a feast amongst mongst poor people, is a rich man's fast. If the strength of this consideration were drawn forth, it would wonderfully affect us.  
2. Consider wherein these joys consist for the negative part of them: There will be no sickness, no pain, no death, no temporal misery or imperfection; nay, there shall be no sin, no temptations nor corruptions, no desertions, no imperfections of graces, or duties, or comforts. What would a poor soul give to be delivered from this body of sin and death; there we shall see God clearly, fully, everlastingly; there our enjoyments shall be incomprehensible, our union wonderful and inseparable, and all shall be eternal. What a world of difference is there betwixt a dead carcase, and the same body when he lived? when it is dead, it is senseless, ghastly, filthy: how beautiful, how active, how many rare endowments had it when it lived? and all these proceeded from the union of the soul with it; and if the soul which is but a poor creature by its union, doth communicate such rare things to the body, what do we imagine will be communicated both to the body and the soul, when God shall be more nearly united to them then they are one to another; when they shall be made more capable of receiving, and God will be more abundant in communicating.   

Affections and Resolutions.  
1. Admire the love and goodness of God; O blessed God from the beginning of the world men have not perceived by the hearing of their ear, nor have they seen with their eyes, nor have any understood, save only thou O God, what thou hast prepared for them that love thee; how hast thou commended thy love to us, that we are thy Sons, but it doth not yet appear what we shall be; O the length, and breadth, and height, and depth of thy love that cannot be known; Lord, what are our duties, or what are our persons that thou shouldst so highly reward them and us; our best righteousness is as filthy rags, and for us we are worms, nay, a generation of vipers; Is it not enough that thou dost not shake us off from thine hand of providence into hell fire, but that thou shouldst lay such Vipers in thy bosom, and warm us with thy love; Is it not enough for thee to forgive us our rebellions, but that thou shouldst give us such blessings: were it not a miracle of bounty and goodness, for thee to bid us seriously to consult and think what to ask of thee, and thou wouldst give it us, though it were to the half of thy Kingdom, but that thou shouldst set thy wisdom on work in preparing, and thy liberality in bestowing such incomprehensible rewards that we could neither ask nor think, but as fare as the heaven is above the earth, so are thy thoughts of love above our thoughts; For thee to give thy Kingdom, thy Christ, thyself, these are acts of goodness; that art infinitely above us, yet worthy of thee, that delightest to magnify thy goodness, that rejoycest over thy people as the Bridegroom rejoiceth over his Bride.  
Despise the World, What are the things of this world O my Soul, what is there here to be desired but sin and misery, snares and temptations, vanity of vanities, and vexation of spirit, one hours communion with God, and the joys of the holy Ghost, that he hath given to his people in this world, are worth more than the world can know of; Why do we spend our strength and money for that which is not bread, and our labours for that which doth not satisfy: O vain world, God hath outbidden thee, thou offerst trifles, he offers me heaven for my love and service, though my love be unworthy, too little for him, yet it is too much too good for thee.  
3. Long for and breathe after heaven; As the Hart panteth after the water-brooks, so panteth my soul after thee O God, My soul thirsteth for God, for the living God, when shall I come and appear before God, when shall I be delivered from my absence from thee, and from mine ignorance of thee; Make haste O my beloved, and be thou like a Roe or a young Hart upon the mountains of Spices: The Spirit saith Come, and the Bride saith Come, and the Bridegroom saith, Surely I Come quickly, even so come Lord Jesus, come quickly.  
4. Encourage and stir up thyself to the love and service of God; Come O my Soul, Let us be steadfast and unmoveable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, forasmuch as we know that our labour is not in vain in the Lord; Let us not be weary of well doing, nor of the labour of love, for we shall reap if we faint not; We have known and in some measure endeavoured to serve God thus many years, were it not a sad thing for the want of continuing one year, one month, it may be but one week, or one day more I should lose all my hopes and expectations of glory: God forbidden; O my Soul, Let us encourage ourselves in the Lord, we are not kept by our own but by the mighty power of God through faith to salvation; and be thou assured of this that the first minute thou art in heaven, thou shalt have such full measure, presed down, heaped up, and running over, that thou shalt break forth in the Songs of joy and praise to all Eternity, magnifying, admiring and adoring God that ever he gave thee leave and grace to serve him, then shalt thou see, and so thy experience shall make thee confess with joy and wonder, that the light afflictions and labours of love that thou endurest in this life, are not worthy to be compared to the joys that shall be revealed in thee; When at any time thou beginnest to be weary look to the price of thine high calling, and when thou comest to heaven thou shalt admire, when thou seest how abundantly thou art over-recompensed, and thou wilt have just cause to say, Lord, what is this that thou hast done for me, alas, what were the things that I either did or suffered in thy service, what were my filthy rags that thou shouldest give me such a robe and Crown of glory; O my Soul, what if we do weep, now the time is at hand when God will wipe all tears from our eyes.  
O my Soul, these things cannot be believed and slighted, and understood and neglected; If thou dost not believe them, what is the reason? Are they too glorious things for God to bestow upon such wretched sinners? why dost thou set bounds to the goodness of God, and say, Hitherto thou shalt go and no further, nay, doubtless since God hath said that he will do that which shall glorify his goodness to his people, the incredibility of it makes it more credible, but if thou art convinced of the truth, why art thou not affected with the excellencies of these joys? dost thou not relish them? well, For the time to come I will meditate more of these things, I will by giving to the poor lay up my treasures in heaven, I will part with such and such vain delights for it, I will spend more time and communion with God in praising, admiring, and adoring of him, that if it be possible by frequent performing of these duties, I may at last taste and relish the incomprehensible sweetness of them, that I may be enamoured more of heaven, and because all my endeavours are in vain, if the Lord reveals not these things unto me, therefore I will beg of God that he will discover the riches of his goodness to me, I have not been careful enough nor sensible enough of sins of omission, when I have had no just thing to take up my thoughts, yet I have not thought of thee; henceforth when my heart is affected with thy excellencies, thy love, thy mercies, I will praise thee, when it is not, I will pray to thee that it may, and for my Master-sinne mine iniquity, I will be most frequent in those duties that are most contrary to it; I will especially in my reading of Scripture, take notice of, and write down those places and those examples that are most proper for the cure; I will speak against my iniquity, that if it may be I may thereby the more engage myself to leave it.    

MEDITAT. VII. Of the Excellencies of Christ.  
1. BE convinced of and affected with the presence of God.  
2. Desire of him who only can, to manifest the Excellency of Christ unto thee.  

Considrations.  
1. Consider that if the holiest man that ever lived lived near thee, what high expectations wouldst thou have of his carriage and conference, when thou sawest his zeal and patience, etc. But no man lived ever without sin; Therefore suppose an Angel should take upon him humane nature, and live amongst us, with what inflamed expressions and affections would he speak of God, of Heaven, and every thing that is spiritual; But alas, his carriage, his holiness, his wisdom, were as nothing in comparison of Christ's; For there was not any word or action that ever Christ spoke or did, that if all the Angels of Heaven had studied and set down how it ought to have been done, or they themselves should have been to have done it, they could not have equalled it, nay, even God the Father had he taken our nature, he would not have spoke or done any word or thing which should have had (in respect of itself or any circumstance) more holiness or wisdom than Christ's words and actions had, so that certainly in this respect he that saw Christ saw the Father, as he himself saith.  
2. Consider the wonderful wisdom of Christ, Certtainly he was greater than Solomon; For though he was the humblest man that ever lived, yet he himself said so, nor did it any more argue pride in Christ to say that he was wiser than Solomon, than it would have argued in Solomon that he knew more than a newborn babe. When his most most malicious and cunning adversaries came to ensnare him in his words, so that they thought it were impossible for him to say I or No to their Questions, without extraordinary prejudice to himself, yet he answered with such admirable wisdom and innocence, that they went away ashamed of their folly; Nay, when Satan himself came and set upon him with his subtlest temptations that he could possibly find out, yet our Saviour without deliberation and study, immediately answered him so fully that he could not so much as reply but was fain to fly to another temptation; and no marvel for he was the wisdom of the Father.  
3. Consider the wonderful and exceeding holiness of Christ when he was in the height of all his Agonies and Sufferings, he abated not any thing of his love and confidence in God; For his Sufferings did not make him forget or diminish any thing, no, not in the least circumstance of his graces, or of any thing that the Law required at his hands: To be so freely willing to have that Agony continue, which was unspeakable, and as the torments of Hell (if his Father pleased) was more than if those in Hell should freely submit to endure the torments they suffer. The holiness of those in heaven is not comparably so much greater than the weakest Saint on earth: As the Holiness of Christ was greater whilst he lived on earth then that of those in heaven; Nay, all the Saints on earth are filled from his fullness; For he is the Fountain that conveys to his Saints as they are able to receive the infinite Ocean of the holiness of the Godhead; No marvel that the Angels when they saw his glory, cried out, Holy, Holy, Lord God of Sabbaths.  
4, Consider, that notwithstanding all these infinite Excellencies in Christ, he thought it no robbery to be equal to the Father, yet how exceedingly did he humble himself, and how gracious was he: The poorest man or woman in the world, nay, the greatest sinner that truly repent, with what love did he receive them: He was the Son of Righteousness from whom the Angels receive their glory, and yet he disdains not to shine upon such dunghills as we are; It is strange O my Soul, to consider how willing Christ was to please every one; only provided it was in things that were not for their hurt that desired them; Many times, nay, most times, when others were with him, when he in respect of himself only would have done otherwise, yet he did as their desires required, Rom. 15.3. The Apostle saith, even Christ pleased not himself, many times when he was hungry; If any came to him that needed Instruction, or if he were sleepy and any came to him that needed consolation, he would abstain from meat and sleep that he might do them good; It is not so with great men, but it was so with Christ who was the great God.   

Affections and Resolutions.  
1. Admire the Excellencies of Christ, O blessed Saviour, thou art the chiefest of ten thousand; Thou art altogether lovely, Thou hast a Name above all Names that at thy Name every knee should bow; Thou Lord art set at the right hand of the Father in the heavenly places; Fare above all principality and power, and might, and dominion, and every Name that is named, not only in this world, but also in that which is to come; Thou art the brightness of thy Father's Glory, and the express Image of his Person; Consider O my Soul, what can these words mean, Surely if God commanded all the Angels to worship him, when he brought him into the world, how much more should we for whom he hath done much more admire and adore him in Spirit and in Truth.  
Be confounded and ashamed that thou art not more affected with these things: Doubtless O my Soul, It is not for want of excellency in Christ, for he is the Lord of glory, but for want of a clearer Faith in thee to behold his excellencies; If the Scripture had not spoke the thousandth part of Christ as it doth, how could thy thoughts have been lower of him then they are; how could thy heart be more senseless: It is a shame that every vanity should steal away our hearts from Christ, much more abominable is it that our very sins that murdered him should ever prevail with us in the least.  
Pray, Blessed God 'tis not in man by all his wisdom and industry to know or be affected with the Excellencies of Christ, if thou dost not reveal them; If I had a thousand worlds they were too small a price for so great a mercy; O show me thyself and thy Son and it sufficeth; And now O my Soul, are the Excellencies of Christ nothing unto us? Do we indeed admire them? Surely all is but mere words and vain thoughts, if we do not strive as fare as we may to imitate him in those Excellencies, for which we pretend to admire him; Are we patiented as he was, meek, humble, holy, who when he was reviled reviled not again, etc. We do but deceive our own souls in giving glorious titles and speaking high things of Christ, and in the mean while not endeavour to transform into his Image; It is impossible we should love him for his patience and holiness, and not love patience and holiness, not yet never care to practise and get them; Therefore for the time to come the life of Christ shall be the example whereby I shall endeavour to frame mine: And that I may the better do so, I will read over especially the New Testament, and observe in every particular what Christ did, how he spoke to his Friends, to his Enemies, how he demeaned himself in every action, whether civil or natural, or Religious, how in all his Relations; And when I have written them down, I shall often peruse them, and shall endeavour in every action that I do, and word that I speak, to remember if I can, whether there be any parallel instance in the life of Christ, if there be, I shall make that my pattern, and do likewise, but if there be none that I can think of, than I would do that which in my conscience I think Christ would have done in like case.  
For the Conclusion I refer you to the Directions and Instances of former Meditations.   

The Conclusion of the whole.  
I Found a great deal of difficulty in writing this small Treatise of Meditation, not in the doctrinal or directory part, because Christian experience and study are things by which that party is managed, but in the setting down of instances and examples therein I found the difficulty to lie: For Meditation is an harder work then to give Directions thereunto; and I have generally found it easier to study a day then to meditate an hour, but of all the kinds of Meditation whereof Instances are set down in this Book, I found the greatest difficulty in those of Solemn Occasional Meditations, they consisting for the most part of prayer, which the devout soul when it hath ended forgets, so that if one might gain a world when the heart is overwhelmed with grief or inflamed with love, or ravished with joy, one could not remember the powerings out of the soul: In such cases one may say of such Meditations as St Paul speaks of those glorious things which he saw when he was wrapped into the third Heavens; they are neither lawful, nor possible to be uttered, many times the secrets in our communion with God, are of that nature that it is not lawful by reason of that scardal, nor possible to utter, because the affections being so intensely employed invention, memory, and intellectual actings of the Soul, during that time do almost quite cease, and indeed whosoever goes about to invent instances of Meditation, if it be only a learned man and not holy, his studies may exceed his actings that way, but if it be an holy experienced Christian, as his inward thoughts of love, joy, grief, and admirings of God are above all that his tongue doth or can utter, so those secret expressions which he useth between God and his own soul, when his thoughts are full of heaven, and of God, are much beyond what he can invent, or by stndy expresseth; Therefore since those Meditations that are fullest of devotion cannot be remembered, to set down Instances of Meditations, except one should take them from some Saint as he was pouring out his soul before God in secret; one can never set them fully down in secret I say; For the soul is never so free, nor may be before others as with God alone, and the truth is, if I had not had these Instances of Solemn Meditation by me, I think I should hardly have set down any of that kind; I should only have referred him to the Psalms, It was so that I wrote these from the mouth of one to whom though unseen, I was oft times so near that I could hear his secretest devotions, if uttered though but with an ordinary voice, I am very confident for his part, he thought that none but God and his own Soul were privy to his Prayers, I have sometimes considered it as a case of Conscience, whether it was lawful by stealth to hear, and afterwards to publish the private Meditations of others, but considering how much advantage it may bring to others, and how the party himself can suffer nothing in it, his Name being concealed by me, I resolve to publish them, besides I very well know (as I said before) that the spiritual expressions between God and one's own soul in secret, are forgotten almost as soon as ended; It is very unlikely that any should remember them ten years after, as the most of these are: I thought good to give an account of this matter, lest I should be thought to have that holy frame of heart which many of the expressions in these Meditations argues that he had that used them, and arrogate to myself that which is fare from me.  
If any shall be offended at the brevity and shortness of my Directions for this great and weighty business of Meditation, I shall only say thus much as to that:  
1. That I am not willing to overcharge or affright new beginners (for for such I do very much intent this Treatise) with too great a number of particulars.  
2. I would not have this swell above the bigness of a Manual, for I have often observed that when one hath persuaded some to buy some Book, and told them it hath been but a small price, it hath been almost as strong a motive (the smallness of the price) as the goodness of the Book: and I would not be willing that both these Motives should be wanting to the Buying of this Book.  
As for the plainness of the Style or matter, I shall thus excuse it, if it oughto be excused, I wrote this for the meanest and ignorantest sort of Christians that they might buy, and understand it, that they might buy it, I have made it a Manual that they might understand it, I have made it plain, and spoke to them in their own language, and to the Learned I say if any such shall read this Treatise, Indocti repiunt coelum, and though I highly prise Learning, yet I know that as to prayer and meditation, and all other acts of devotion wherein we keep a strict Communion with God, and watch over our own souls, an experimental knowledge and acquaintance with, and inflamed affections towards God will more avail us then all the Learning in the world, and doubtless it is not generally ignorance in those that live under Ordinances, but the non-improvement of the Truths we know, that will undo us, if we did but improve these plain truths, viz. that God is, that there will be a Day of Judgement, that we must die, that we ought to love God with all our heart, with all our soul, with all our mind, with all our strength, that we should do as we would be done to; I say, if we did but improve these into practice, we should attain to more holiness then if we knew a thousand times more, and left those truths (as generally men do) by them, as things forgotten, I do very much think that the truths of Religion have been spun into too fine a thread of late days, and some have observed that fewer have been converted of late years then formerly, when fundamentals have been plainly, powerfully and practically pressed upon the conscience, it is an error to think that notions so they be spiritual, cannot be too acute or speculative; I have one thing to entreat of the Christian Reader, and it was one end of publishing this Treatise, that I might with it publish these my desires, the thing that I am to request of you will neither be charge nor trouble, It is your frequent, serious, fervent prayers that I desire of you; I know it is used too much as a compliment among Christians, to desire prayers of their Christian friends, and they are too often superficially promised, and too seldom conscientiously performed, nor would I have thee whosoever thou art that fearest God, account this my Request as a thing of course, and that it is at thy liberty to grant it or no, for suppose a poor distressed man overwhelmed and almost swallowed up with the sense of his miseries and wants, should with tears and strong importunities beg relief of thee; Dost thou think it were an arbitrary thing (when it was in thy power) to relieve him or not? Mightst thou not justly expect that the the next time thou went'st to pour out thy soul before God, that he should keep by him the denial that thou gavest that poor man, and give it thee when thou in the distressed thoughts of thy heart, mad'st thy prayer to him, and dost thou think that the Lord will hold thee guiltless, when one whose afflictions are many corruptions, strong temptations to _____ shall in the anguish and bitterness of his spirit desire thy prayers, and thou refuse or neglect: Consider whether at the day of judgement thou wilt have any sufficient excuse to plead; I have sometimes thought that the Bills that have publicly been put up for the prayers of the Congregation have been too little regarded, it may be they have been too customarily and formally put up, it may be so, but it is not good for us to be Judges of evil thoughts, little do we know what terrouts and fears, and anguishs of spirit overwhelm them, while they are so little regarded by us, O that we were sensible of others afflictions and sorrows whether spiritual or temporal, as they themselves are, and as we would have them to be of ours were our souls in their souls stead, and if the Lord should so by his providence order it as to bring us into those straits which we saw our Brother in, and would not afford him so much as our prayers, may we not justly expect that the next time that we ourselves are in straits, our consciences should take up a Parable and taunting Proverb against us, and say as joseph's Brethren did we are verily guilty concerning our Brother, in that we saw the anguish of his soul, when he besought us and we would not hear, therefore is all this distress come upon us; And that which I would desire thee to beg of God for me is, That he would give me sincerely to aim at his glory in all my actions, but especially those that belong to my Ministry, that I might not be as a broken vessel, and that he would give me greater discoveries of and love to himself and the Lord Jesus Christ; and that he would give me gifts, and strength, and wisdom, opportunity, and a heart to serve him, and mercies suitable to my wants, that mine afflictions may be sanctified, my temptations conquered, and my corruptions mortified.  
One thing more I am to request of thee, that is to do what I know too much neglected by myself, and I fear by others; Thou art to pray for a blessing upon thyself when thou readest this Treatise, and that God would make it a blessing unto others also into whose hands it shall come: I desite you that you would help me with your prayers in this particular; When we do but take our ordinary daily bread we crave a blessing, how much more when we do things that concern our eternal good; When we take a Book to that end spiritually to benefit by it, do we think that it is in our own power, or in the power of any Treatise that we read, (without God's assistance) to do us good; Nay the Word of God itself is but a dead Letter, if the holy Spirit be absent when we hear or read it: But that thou shouldest desire a Blessing upon thyself in reading of this Book is not all I request of thee, but that thou wouldst also extend thy prayers further, even for others, that it may be also for their edification whosoever shall read it; For as we are to pray that every Sermon we hear may be for the spiritual advantage of others as well as of ourselves; It holds also in reading of Treatises of Devotion.  
FINIS.