Τέξνη-britain: OR, THE MARRIAGE OF arms and ARTS, JULY 12. 1651.  
Being an account of the ACT at OXON. to a Friend.  
By R. W.  Quae sequitur manca est numero sensuque Propago. 
ACADEMIA ◆ OXONIENSIS ◆   printer's or publisher's device 
LONDON, Printed by J. G. for R. Royston, at the Angel in Ivy-lane. 1651.   

Authori Malè feriato quae sequuntur.  
SArcinulam hanc quicunque vides, digitoque flagellas,  
Si vis Vulcano mittere, quin & emis?  
Ut cineres volutent, (sursum leve) at anguis in urnâ,  
Qui Te (si Tu nos) sibilet, Ardelio.  
Pone supercilium, leget haec Nemo Hercule? Nemo?  
Cedo aurem;— effectum des, & is {non-Roman} {non-Roman} {non-Roman} {non-Roman} {non-Roman} eris:  
Si subitos casus vel adhuc damnaveris, audi,—  
Scire Tuum nihil est, dicito scire meum.   

Τέξνη-πολομαγαμία: OR, The Marriage of Arms and Arts, &c.  

NOw! are ye not all Infidels that thought  
The long-expected Act would come to nought?  
As if Mars still were Heathen, had to do  
With Venus, and not with Minerva too:  
As if such terms as these were opposite,  
The Sword and th' Word, Attlas and th' Stagirite;  
Terms merely identical, by grammar Law,  
S●suae Protestatis littera;  
So Ars and Mars by an Aphaeresis  
Become the very same, (shake hands and kiss;)  
As if the gown were awed by the Commander  
Or Aristotle at odds with Alexander;  
As if the Snake about the knowledge Tree  
Still had his Sting, still his Malignity.  
Arts now and arms United, their Protector  
Is no fictitious George, but real Hector.  
In him old Authors all do acquiesce  
(Unless Don Scotus be again i'th' press)  
But Zanchius, Dan Sennert: and all the Maps  
May chink within their chain nor fear Mishaps;  
Euclid was never in esteem more high  
Since 
* Luc. Flo. li. 1.  Romulus began to fortify;  
When he (the Proto-Leveller) had thrown  
(Impregnable!) three molehills into one.  
But misty Scotus speaks as far from True  
As Bonnet from Square-caps, as Black from blue;  
Or Case from Fiddle, as a groom or Page  
From high and Mighty Bajasets i'th' Cage.  
he's knotty and obscure, (so fare him well)  
An other speaks more in a syllable;   

It could not sink of late into our thoughts  
Will: Cartwright would go off for 13. groats;  
Since whom 'twas blazed that Pegasus was dead  
O'th' staggers, or a dizziness i'th' Head,  
But since his hoof was picked and pared, 'tis found,  
He sets his foot more firmly on the ground.   

Judgements the traitor, phantasy is allowed,  
she's above all, but never in a cloud;  
Or if she be obfuscate, Phoebus will  
Enlighten her, and sometimes guide the Quill;  
But where the cloud upon the Brow appears,  
The Bitten Lipp, the blueness of the ears;  
Starting and gazing North in stead of East,  
These are the Characters, beware the beast.   

But Poets, (Poor May blossoms) know not how  
To be disloyal, or to knit the Brow;  
If they offend 'tis on some pleasing themes  
(I hope no arraigning fancy for her Dreams,)  
They never hold up hands but when they see  
Lex Talionis, or some prodigy:  
They have no Iron-mittons, socks indeed  
Or Buskins they can lend you for a need;  
But here's no Rollo, no pale Vmbra— No,  
Others have had too much of that, and so  
This leads me to the Act, where doth appear  
A jubilee in th' one and fiftieth year.   

room then; but yet no amphitheatre  
(The Caledonian Bore may fight elsewhere;)  
No captain Otto with Bull bear and Horse,  
Or what may fright the female gender worse:  
No melancholy scene of Dumpish Love  
Brought in a Maze, or Cupid from above:  
No Porcupine, no Dancing on the Rope,  
No nipping Cardinal, or cramping Pope:  
No Roscius, no tailor on the stage,  
No Cane, nor Timothy (to please the Page)   

Though none of these, though plays are out of date  
And exits formidable grown of late;  
Though neither mimic fond, nor satire rough  
To make the madam leave behind her Muff;  
Yet somewhat was presented by the Arts  
Of higher Nature, and as many 
* {non-Roman} {non-Roman} {non-Roman} {non-Roman} {non-Roman}.  Parts  
Besides Trojani Ludi and florals,  
And (to prevent ill luck) 
* Liv. li. 5. Dec. 3  Apollinares;  
And you'll confess this Rolling eye so clear,  
More spectacles had been pleonasms here.   

Now for a stand 5. crowns,— the devil is  
O'er Lincoln— Brazen nose is not amiss;  
Jove's 
* Semele.  phoenix, and our Brother Phaeton  
Forbid too near approaches to the Sun.   

Break out the world's bright Eye! see how they muster  
Like autumn grapes in one entire Ripe Cluster!  
Their full-fraught Sable gowns so large and wide  
Demonstrate they can sail 'gainst wind and Tide.  
Thus Zephyrus brings his offering, that the sweat  
Of either sex added to July's heat  
(Corrected) might such Atoms get, such Men,  
(By Plato's rule) as Oedipus again.  
we'll side with him in this, (nor care who know it)  
So he'll allow the commonwealth a Poet.  
(The music-lecturer if he had put on  
All his Platonic Ladies, they had got one.)  
Those vestal Virgins that came up to light  
Their fire extinct at Phoebus ere 'twas night,  
Here I could break Times hourglass that run  
The day away before it was begun.  
Some say, Sol took fresh horses that could fly,  
And that he borrowed two of 
* The Oxford Carrier.  Edgerly:  
When shining in his face, he gots good will,  
(And then young Hercules he called him still)  
And told him if denied, he'd make him pass  
For th' Sarazen through a multiplying-glass:  
And so, by consequence, against his will,  
Be th' 
* The Sarazans head his inn.  sign and Carrier too upon Snow-hill.   

Help here ye water-Nymphs, and give a word  
With gloss enough to set out Oxen-ford;  
Would I were now i'th' sell with Timon, he  
Once out of Athens had his Privacy;  
But O the din! now-now-that Rampant hum  
Has put me clean by an Exordium;  
Where shall I now begin, or rally up  
The scattered nine, unless I had a Cup  
Of Helicon— 'tis so— well thought upon,  
I'll steal to Aristotle's Well alone,  
And find 'em there— hold, Father— I'll ha'none,  
— No sugar— keep the horn to for—  
— A Synagogue here to!— would I were i'th' stocks  
At Heddenton, for here my tinderbox  
Is not a place secure enough to keep  
Its anxious Master from the vulgar peep.  
This Act— (I'll rest my grandsires' bones if I  
Am not distracted into Drollery,  
And know not how to help it) I say this Act  
Was well performed de Jure and de fact;  
No Muse assizes here, (nequam eget)  
Hark! th' echo prompts the Malefactor, Legit.  
Here's Munus, but no Bustuarii, (Tricks,  
O'th' Romans that would fight th' condemned to Styx)  
By Inspiration of this very place  
He finds his Neck-verse, and an Act of Grace.  
Free grace (as some will have it) but the wise  
Allow (though not o'th' Ropes) yet Exercise.   

And such there was i'th' Roman Idiom  
(Yet Barklays style) that all was hush and Mum.  
And (as 'tis famed of Jupiter) their ear  
Chained up to Terrae filius his chair.  
(Besides some subtle questians pro and con  
Encouragement for youth to bring it on)  
sarcasms fly about, and now they itch  
Till Terrae filius give the Chain a Twitch,  
And then they rail at Barkley, say he got  
Philoclea with child, and was a Scott.   

Which to define aright (they were so bold)  
They said he was a louse of nine years old.  
But this was tailors talk, (to right our Mother)  
I mean not Water-john, nor yet that other,  
Not {non-Roman} {non-Roman} {non-Roman} {non-Roman} {non-Roman}, but by Profession  
(Of these in each new pocket there was one)  
These make not 
* Ipsa Deûm fertur genetrix Berecynthia. Virgil.  Berecynthia's wedding-gown,  
she'll have the Make and Spinning of her own,  
Not loose, as ready still to fall to th' ground,  
Nor yet o'th' newest fashion, pinioned;  
But in the middle way (the Golden Rule  
Of Mediocrity is in her school)  
And yet by one of her seven Sons she hopes  
To have it lined with bays, and set with Tropes.   

Now Orpheus Junior mounts, (begin the Dance)  
The Ladies please themselves into a Trance.  
To Cato's brood he whispers in their ear,  
That th' scornful Lady is forbidden here,  
Who with her queamish stomach cries— amiss,  
Because (forsooth) she would get out—  
It works, it works; which to prevent, while he  
Division runs, they crosslegged Lo: La: Mi:  
Like Randall's meek 
* A. B. ●. i'th' Muses Looking glass.  Aorgus— O for him  
To help me out with matter filled to th' brim.  
Look how the swallows, darting to and fro  
St. Mary's, imitate the Roman 
* Lucky.  Crow:  
And the sun's bright flame-coloured beams that come  
Upon the prophet's heads, the 
* A yellow veil used in the Roman Nuptials.  Flammeum.  
The Rostrum, and Subsellia, and Men  
Speak Marcus Cicero alive again:  
But that the Judges by their smiles portend  
Here was no Catiline that did offend.   

Who then forbids the Nuptials of the Nine?  
Duke Humphrey ne'er afforded better Wine:  
A pittance too of 
* Nepotia▪  Venison to th' Sack,  
Enough to prove us sons of Isaac.  
The Musick-men will sit and nod all night,  
And keep time with their heads till it be light.   

Nay one of them, I heard him tell his fellows,  
Would play to please us, though upon the gallows.  
Some say Sir Thomas bodily through a cleft  
Of our old dry Nurse (Earth) looked up, and left  
This testimony, that if he were sent  
Hither again, he never would repent.  
Who then forbids the Banes? Speak, Shadow, say;  
(And vanish) was it not a glorious day?  
If nothing be objected, right or wrong,  
we'll celebrate these Nuptials with a Song.   

SONG.  

OFF with thy Gauntlet, Mars, and yield  
The Bucklers, and resign thy shield,  
The Muses judged it fit:  
Not to deprive thee of thy right,  
But they desire to scour 'em bright  
That on Parnassus sit.   

See how the Book expanded lies,  
With wisdom put before our eyes,  
And after-happiness; 
* The University Arms.   
A crown for a reward is set  
In Gold, as th' letters are in jet  
That never knew the press.   

Philosopher's shall study more  
For th' hidden Stone than heretofore,  
And alchemists blow faster:  
And when poor 
* B. J. his alchemist.  Lungs is worn away,  
'Twill be enough for him to say  
He did it for his Master.    

CHORUS.  

Then fear we not those  
With Rhinoceros Nose,  
Nor the venomous tooth to bite us;  
Let us dance out the Rushes  
In spite of their tusks,  
For the Goddesses all will right us.   

Then let Flora bring Roses,  
To make us all Poses,  
Sing Talassio, Caius, and Caia;  
Let none dare to grin  
Till the dog-days begin,  
Nor yet stamp, for the Muses will pay-a.   

Juno, Diana, Suadula, Venus, Jove,  
Crown what is acted here below, above.   
THE END.