woodcut of three men surrounding the scales of reason 
sdom. manus Providentia. judgement Reason dependency Vild Rerum Precius Vicessitudo    

WORCESTER'S APOTHEGMS.  
OR WITTY SAY OF THE Right Honourable HENRY (late) Marquis and Earl of WORCESTER, Delivered upon several occasions, and now Published for the benefit of the READER.  
By T. B. a constant observer, and no less admirer of his Lordship's Wisdom and Loyalty.  
Et prodesse volunt et delectare.  
LONDON. Printed by J. Clowes, for Edward Blackmore, at the Angel in Paul's Churchyard, 1650.   

To the Right Honourable EDWARD, marquis and Earl of WORCESTER and GLAMORGAN, Baron of Chepston, Viscount Grossmount and Caldicott, my very Honourable Lord.  
My very good Lord,  
T●e many favours, which I received from your Noble Family, especially, from your Lordship, ●rought, upon a disposition, somedeal a pretender unto gratitude, how it might in some measure, or other, answer the respect, and clear the heart, that had lain charged so long, w●th benefits; but it found no means but (only thus) to let your Honour see, that the favours which were conferred upon me: were not spilt, but poured into a Viol, that (what it hath received and contains, bears Paper of acknowledgement, and that, neither the distances of Time, nor Place, nor all the (Lefthanded) strokes of fortune, which have lately fallen so heavily, upon your Illustrious Family, shall ever be able, to beat down a respect, that emulates the Cypress which bears up (still) in growth maugre the heavy weights, which the hand of fate (ignorant of its virtue) hath so hung, on all her branches. My Lord, it may be it will not be unpleasing to your Lordship, to read your Father, speaking after death; especially, when you read him, dying, with such speeches in his mouth. I laid your Noble Father in his grave, with my own hands, but I could not let such a memorial of him, lie buried, under my own Manuscript; but thought it a duty belonging to his fame, and your merit, to dedicate this book unto your Lordship, Heir to all: but apparently to nothing, but his virtues, and this memorial of them; which in all humility, (together with myself) I prostrate at your feet; who think it the greatest honour, still to be owned,  
Your Lordship's humble, and faithful Servant THOMAS BAYLY   

THE EPISTLE TO THE READER.  
Courteous Reader,  
HAving lately published a private Discourse concerning Religion, between the late King, and the Marquis of Worcester in Raglan Castle, as also certain papers which went so between them; and this in justification of the late Kings constant affection to the Protestant Religion, which hath been much oppugned by divers, both before, and after his death; yet, I hear there are some, who pretend to love and honour the memory of the dead King, and glory, in the relation of being servants to his late Majesty, that will not admit of that controversy, otherwise then as a parable: First, because they were there, & heard of no such thing. Secondly, because they believed not the marquis of Worcester to have been so able a man, and as I hear, it hath been said so by some of his Majesty's field-Chaplains; who envying that a loyal pen should wag, where they can be contented to sow pillows under the elbows, to beat cushions over the heads of a people (against whom shaking the dust from off their feet, as a witness against them, had seemed more like an Apostolical imitation then preaching to them.) And preach such wholesome and sound Doctrine of Mortification, Sanctification, Justification, and Good life, that they thought they might safely get up into any Pulpit, not caring what bottom it had, nor what canopy was over head, not much unlike the man who went to search after the sureness of the foundation, when his house was all on fire. These men will tell you that this was no real thing, because they were there all the while, whilst they were not there at all, except at meals; and when, I tell you that they were the Doctors that were better at smelling out a good dinner, than a disputation; I have as good as told you their names. I expected better reason from those Doctors, then from the Knight that said he was sure there should be no such thing at Raglan, for his boy Tom was there all the time; as if the Marquis of Worcester could not watch his opportunity in a month's time to have two hours private Discourse with the King, while he was in his own house, but all the Castle must take notice of it, or that papers might not pass between them, but all the world must know it.  
But you will say, you do not believe that there was any such private discourse. Choose then, who cares? let him believe it that will; it was writ for satisfaction of Christians, not infidels. But it may be Mendax fama means to require me for the wrong she did my father, who writ a good book, and some would not believe it to be his; and now I have set out a book, as none of mine own, and she will have it to be mine. I thank her kindly, but I had rather be without her praises, then to be thought such an ingenious liar. As to the objection of the Marquis' inability to talk so to the King, I shall assure you by his Apothegms in this book [which I never had the least thought to have published but upon this occasion] that he used to talk so wisely, that all the wisdom that I had thought them worthy of record, and [now] of publication. To a great many of which sayings, there are a great many witnesses to justify a truth that cannot be denied, and must needs verify the former: and so Good morrow, or Good evening to you, according unto the time of the day that the book lighted into your hands, I am  
Your servant Tho. Bayley   

WORCESTER'S APOTHEGMS.  

APOPHTH. I.  
THe first time that ever I had the happiness to be acquainted with this Nobleman, was by accident, upon the Welsh Mountains: where I met him, flying a danger with a softer pace than it made after him: whose condition so dangerous, was the more desperate, because he was unsensible of the approach of any Enemy, and his security the sooner wrought, because Intelligence had not given the enemy any Information, how near they were unto him: it was my fortune, first to inform myself, and then his Lordship of the one, & afterwards his Lordship of the other particular, as also of the rub that I had cast in the way, that had turned aside the Bowl that was running so fairly towards the mark. After that I had told him all the particulars of what I had done, and what I further meant to do, in order to his preservation with a composed countenance, wherein you might read, not the least perturbation of mind: he gave me this Language: Sir, it is fit that you should have your reward, I am yours: and (embracing me said.) Now I put you in full possession of your own, I pray dispose of me as you please: from which time forward until the time that I laid him in his grave in Windsor Castle, I never parted from him.   

APOPHTH. 2.  
ABout the same time recovering the top of an high Mountain, by the advantage of the ground, we could see the Enemy marching another way; at which sight, the marquis dwelled with his eyes a little longer upon that Object. The Lord John Somerset (his Son) thought convenient: whereupon the marquis made his reply. O Son, I love to see mine own danger, especially when it is marching off.   

APOPHTH. 3.  
AFter that my endeavours were crowned with success, and my diligence had wrought his security, in a place that was as private as he had made himself; having parted with all his retinue, we began to commune with ourselves, concerning our own happiness; and some there were who told his Lordship, that though the place were unworthy of him, yet it was better than a prison: to which the marquis made this answer. It may be not: It may be my sins did not deserve so great a favour, for that is always better which God sends. To which I had a Sister, which was Mrs. of the house who thus replied unto him: then sure (my Lord) this is best, for God hath sent you hither. But Lady, (said the marquis,) it had not been best, if God had disposed of me otherwise: why should we repine at that freedom of the Almighty over us, which we daily exercise over other Creatures? We imprison harmless Creatures, and innocent Birds, within Cages, only to sing to us and make us melody, and why should I do otherwise then submit unto the will of God, if it should be his pleasure to make me a close Prisoner, seeing he may delight in hearing, how prettily I would complain?   

APOPHTH. 4.  
I Have lived in Ragland Castle, 3 years, and in all that time, I never saw man drunk, nor heard an Oath, amongst any, of all his Servants: neither did I ever see a better ordered Family, and that which is most wonderful unto me, was, the Servants of his house, (being half Papists, and half Protestants) were never at variance, in point of Religion: which was brought about, by prohibiting disputations: neither was any man the less accepted for his Religion, if his service were acceptable; but when the Castle was filled with Officers, and Soldiers, he used to be much grieved, to hear, and see the Oaths, and drunkenness, that was (then and there) too much practised: insomuch, that when some of his chief Officers, had told him, how that they had fortified such and such a place, so and so: and that here the Enemy could not come, and there it was impossible; I but (said my Lord) you have left the main place open, and unfortified: you have made no fortifications against Heaven; for there is such swearing, and drunkenness amongst you, that I fear me that from thence will come your greatest enemy; and you have made no provision against him.   

APOPHTH. 5.  
WHen the King had made his repair to Raglan, after the Battle of Nasby, taking occasion to thank the Marquis for some moneys lent his Majesty, the marquis returned his Majesty this answer: Sir, I had your word for my money; but I never thought I should be so soon repaid, for now you have given me thanks, I have all I look for.   

APOPHTH. 6.  
ANother time, the King came unto my Lord, and told him, that he thought not to have stayed with his Lordship, above three days, but his occasions requiring his longer abode with him, he was willing to ease him of so great a burden, as to be altogether so heavy a charge unto him. And considering it was a Garrison, that his provisions might not be spent by so great a pressure, he was willing that his Lordship should have power given him, to take what Provisions the Country would afford, for his present maintenance, and recruit: to which his Lordship made this reply. I humbly thank your Majesty, but my Castle will neither stand long, if it leans upon the Country. I had rather be brought to a morsel of bread, than any morsels of bread should be brought me, to entertain your Majesty.   

APOPHTH. 7.  
SIr, Henry Bard, who was Lord Bellamount, coming into the Hall at Raglan, and seeing so many Tables furnished with food, and feeders, swore a great Oath, that the King had a plot to destroy that Family. First, in borrowing all the old man's money: and then in coming (thus) to eat up his victuals; which being told unto the marquis, the marquis asked the man (who made this Relation unto him) of what Garrison the Lord Bellamount was Governor: it was told his Lordship that he was Governor of Cambden house: the marquis replied, That when the King had done as he said, that then his Majesty might go to his Garrison, and there he might have Cambdens remains.   

APOPHTH. 8.  
WHen the King first entered the Castle of Raglan, the marquis kissed the King's hand, and rising up again, he saluted his Majesty, with this Compliment, Domine non sum dignus. The King replied unto the marquis. My Lord I may very well answer you again, I have not found so great faith in Israel; for no man would trust me with so much money as you have done: To which the marquis replied, I hope your Majesty will prove a defender of the Faith.   

APOPHTH. 9  
SIr Thomas Somerset, brother to the marquis, had a house which they called Troy, within five miles of Raglan Castle: this Sir Thomas Somerset being a neat man, both within, and without his house, as he was a complete Gentleman of himself, every way delighted very much in fine Gardens, and Orchards, and in replenishing and ordering them with all the varieties of choicest fruits, that could be got: and in defending his new Plantations from the coldness of the climate, by the benefit of art; the earth that was so much made of, proved so grateful to him, at the same time that the King happened to be at his Brother's house at Raglan: that it yielded him wherewithal to send his Brother Worcester such a present, as at that time of year and place was able to make the King, and all his Lords believe, that the Sovereign of the Planets, with all his Prince Electors, had new changed the Poles: and that Wales the refuse, and out-cast of the fair Garden of England had fairer and riper fruit, growing upon her stone rubbish, than England's levels, had on all her beds: this, presented to the marquis, the marquis would not suffer to be presented to the King, by any other hands, except his own. In comes the marquis to the King, at the latter end of supper, led by the arm, having such a goodly presence with him, that his being led, became him, rather like some ceremony of state, then show of impotence: and his slow pace, (occasioned by his infirmity) expressed a Spanish gravity, rather than feebleness: thus (with a silver dish in each hand, filled with rarities, and a little basket upon his arm, as a supply, in case his Majesty should be over-bountifull of his favours to the Ladies that were standers by.) He makes his third obeisance, and thus speaks. May it please your Majesty, if the 4 Elements could have been robbed to have entertained your Majesty, I think I had but done my duty; but I must do as I may. If I had sent to Bristol for some good things, to entertain your Majesty, that had been no wonder at all: If I had procured from London, some goodness, that might have been acceptable to your Majesty, that had been no wonder indeed. But here I present your Majesty (placing his dishes upon the Table) with what neither came from Lincoln that was, nor London that is: nor York▪ that is to be; but I assure your Majesty, that this Present came from Troy: whereupon the King smiled, and answered the marquis, truly my Lord, I have heard, that Corn now grows where Troy Town stood; but I never thought there had grown any Apricocks there before. Whereupon the marquis replied. Any thing to please your Majesty. The fruit was very much admired by all, and it was acknowledged by all that were in the presence at that time, that they never saw the King served in greater state in all their lives. There were some about the King, who followed my Lord marquis, when he departed the presence, and told his Lordship, that he would make a very good Courtier. I (said the Marquis) I remember I said one thing that may give you some hopes of me. Any thing to please your Majesty.   

APOPHTH. 10.  
THe first night his Majesty came unto the Castle, the King desired to see the great Tower, which was the place where his Lordship did use to keep his Treasure: His Majesty spoke unto me to fetch the Keys. I ran down to the Marquis, and acquainted him with the King's pleasure, who would needs bring them to the King, and show him the Tower himself; when the King saw the marquis bringing the Keys himself, he thus spoke unto the Marquis. My Lord, there are some men, who are so unreasonable, as to make me believe, that your Lordship hath good store of gold yet left within this Tower; but I knowing how I have exhausted you, (together, with your own occasions) could never have believed it, until now I see you will not trust the Keys with any Lady but yourself: To which the Marquis made this reply. Sir, I was so fare from giving your Majesty any such occasion of thought by this tender of my duty, that I protest unto you, that I was once resolved that your Majesty should have lain there, but that I was loath to commit your Majesty to the Tower.   

APOPHTH. 11.  
THere was a poor Freeholder, who had a small Tenement, close underneath Raglan Castle, in value about six pounds, per Annum: the marquis had a mind to buy it of the owner, it lying within his land, and so near unto his Castle: treating with the owner about it, he found him extremely averse from harkening to any conditions whatsoever: the marquis (hereupon) told the man, that he made not any such proposition out of any evil intention towards him, but to his great advantage; for he would give him sixteen pounds per Annum, in any place of England or Wales, where he had any Land, or opportunity to purchase such an inheritance for him; but the man remained obstinate, telling the marquis, that he would not lose the sight of so goodly a Castle as Raglan, for ten pounds per Annum: this construed (as indeed it was) an Answer no less peevish than insolent: the Marquis told him that he would spoil his prospect, and so dismissed him, causing (forthwith) a double row of Trees, which should (in time) take away two thirds of the Revenue, which should accrue out of the poor man's eyes. The Kings coming to Raglan, being at the time when these Trees were grown to their height, when the tall Cedar of our Lebanus, was brought so low, and those Sycamores flourished, when the royal Oak was in the fall of the leaf; It happened that his Majesty was at bowls upon Raglan Castle Green (a place so proudly situated, that you might as well command all the Country, round about with your eye, as the Lord thereof the Countrymen by his power and authority, where you might find a goodly prospect without losing your own eyes,) where after that he had ended his recreation, his Majesty was pleased to delight himself, which observing the Country round about: It happened, that one Pritchard, the King's Partner at Bowls (whose unmannerliness had informed him that Bowls had the same virtue in them, that the Footballs had, (viz.) to make all fellows, presuming more upon his good bowling, then good manners continued the familiarity that should have ended with the rubbers, showing the King where his house stood some three miles off, and told his Majesty that he must look through the wood, and he might see a white thing, and that was it; moreover, acquainting his Majesty what the Lord of Worcester had advised him (viz.) to cut down some of those Trees, that the house might be plainly discerned from the Green, whereby his Lordship when he wanted a good Bowler, might make a sign, and so have him at a beck: To which the King replied. Mr. Pritchard, let me give you better advice: put up more Trees, where the Trees are so thin, that my Lord of Worcester (if it be possible) may not see thy house at all. The marquis of Worcester supposing the King had touched upon this greediness of purchasing all the Land which was near unto him, shown His Majesty the Rows of Trees, and told the King that beyond those Trees stood a pretty Tenenement, and because he would not have Naboths Vineyard to be an eyesore to him, he had planted those trees to hoodwink his eyes from such temptations; whether the King had heard of it before or no, I cannot tell, but his Majesty happened to light upon the true cause of their setting up: telling his Lordship, that he was as conceited in the setting up those Trees as his Father was witty in cutting down the great Walnut-tree, which the Earl of Salisbury, gave an hundred pounds to my Lord of Worcester's man to persuade his Lordship to cut it down, because it hindered his prospect towards the Thames, but being cut down, the Earl of Worcester set up such a house in the place thereof, that Salisbury that way could not see the Thames at all. Whereupon my Lord of Worcester, said that the Earl of Salisbury would be even with him, for he was afraid that he would pull down his house ere it be long: to which the King made answer, that when the time came that he durst pull down his house, he and such as he, would pull an old house over their own head; the marquis replied, if they will make so bold with their own heads, I will give them leave to be so bold with any of my houses.   

APOPHTH. 12.  
WHen the King first entered the Gates of Raglan, the marquis delivered his Majesty the keys, (according to the odinary Custom) the King restoring of them to the Marq; the Marq; said, I beseech your Maj. to keep them, if you please, for they are in a good hand; but I am afraid that ere it be long, I shall be forced to deliver them into the hands of those who will spoil the Compliment.   

APOPHTH. 13.  
AT the Kings being at Raglan, there were some informations given, of some Gentlemen of the Country, who were supposed (and not without cause) to have done his Majesty many ill Offices, by withdrawing the hearts of the People from his Majesty, and obstructing many aids, and assistances, which otherwise his Majesty was likely to have had out of these parts: these men (being thus accused) were ordered to be laid hold on, and it was executed accordingly, and they being brought before his Majesty, it was moved by some, that they should be forthwith tried by a Commission of Oyer and Terminer; others advised his Majesty, that they should be sent to Hereford, and there to be kept in safe Custody, until further consultations might be had concerning them, they excusing themselves as well as they could. One of them protesting his innocence with tears in his eyes, the King ordered that he should forthwith be released, being always prone to lean to mercy rather than justice, and to favourable, rather than rigid construction of his very enemies. The King, coming back from Abergaveny, where this was put in execution, The King told the marquis what he had done, and that when he saw them speak so honestly, he could not but give some credit to their words, so seconded by tears; and withal, told the marquis, that he had only sent them to prison; whereupon the marquis said, what to do, to poison that Garrison? Sir, you should have done well to have heard their accusations, and then to have showed what mercy you pleased. The King told him, that he heard that they were accused by some contrary faction, as to themselves, who out of the distaste they bore to one or other upon old grudges, would be apt to charge them more home, than the nature of their offences had deserved; to whom the Marquis made this return, well Sir, you may chance to gain you the Kingdom of Heaven by such do as these; but if ever you get the Kingdom of England by these tricks, I'll be your Bondman.   

APOPHTH. 14.  
THe Marquis had a mind to tell the King (as handsomely as he could) of some of his (as he thought) faults, and thus he contrives his plot, against the time that his Majesty was wont to give his Lordship a visit, as commonly he used to do after dinner, his Lordship had the book of John Gower, lying before him on the Table. The King casting his eye upon the book, told the Marquis that he had never seen it before. O said the Marquis, it is the book of books, which if your Majesty had been well versed in, it would have made you a King of Kings. Why so my Lord? said the King, why said the Marquis, here is set down how Aristotle brought up, and instructed Alexander the great in all the rudiments, and principles, belonging to a Prince, and under the persons of Alexander and Aristotle, he read the King such a lesson, that all the standers by were amazed at the boldness; and the King supposing that he had gone further than his Text would have given him leave: asked the Marq; if he had his lesson by heart, or whether he spoke out of the book: the Marquis replied, Sir, if you could read my heart, it may be you might find it then. Or if your Majesty please to get it by heart, I will lend you my book: which latter proffer, the King accepted of, and did borrow it; nay said the Marquis, I will lend it you upon these conditions, first, that you read it, secondly, that you make use of it; but perceiving how that some of the new made Lords, fretted and bitten their thumbs at certain passages in the Marquis' discourse, he thought a little to please his Majesty, though he pleased them the men, who were so much displeased already, protesting unto his Majesty, that no man was so much for the absolute power of a King: as Aristotle, desiring the book out of the King's hand, he told the King, that he would show him one remarkable passage to that purpose, turning to that place that had this verse, viz.  
A King can kill, a King can save,  
A King can make, a Lord a knave,  
And of a knave, a Lord also, etc.  
Whereupon there were divers new made Lords, who slunk out of the room, which the King observing, told the Marquis, my Lord at this rate you'll drive away all my Nobility, the marquis replied, I protest unto your Majesty, I am as new a made Lord as any of them all, but I was never called knave and rogue, so much in all my life, as I have been since I received this last Honour, and why should not they bear their shares?   

APOPHTH. 15.  
AS the Marquis was in his travel from Denbyshire (where he had lain concealed some while) towards Raglan, we had determined to lodge in a poor Town called Bala, in Merionethshire, the Marquis being invited to take some repose, at one Mr. Owen Salisbury of Keeg, I and one more, went before to provide accommodation for his Lordship in that Town, where we found that some had played the knave with us, and had informed the Town, that about such a time there would come a party of the enemy through the Town; the Townsmen neither being prepared nor able to make any resistance, nor willing to harbour any such guests, were very much divided and confounded in their cousultations, but seeing none but two Horsemen coming towards the Town, they admitted us in, but not without some suspicion, and many scores of men, women, and Children, following us at our heels, wheresoever we went, we marvelled very much at them, and they at us: we went into several poor Inns, and we were told every where there was no lodging for us; I inquired for the Mayor of the Town, he was not to be spoken with, I inquired after the Deputy Governor of the place, or any Officer, but could not come to the speech of any of them, the multitude increased, so did our wonders; at the last I spied a young man, who had a ribbin in his hat, with vive la Roy in it: I applied myself to him, and told him that he by his favour should be one that loved the King, and that there was such a Nobleman who had served the King in no small measure, who was likely to lie in their streets for want of a lodging: the young man shown me (forthwith) great respect, telling me that his Lordship should be very welcome to his Mother's house: who kept a poor Inn, & withal told us the reason of the people's shienesse to harbour us, as aforesaid, we went into the house, finding it a most lamentable receptacle for such a person; but yet better than none at all, the parlour where my Lord was to lie, was a soft and lose ground, wherein you might sink up to the ankles every step, the top of the house being thatched with ill-threshed straw, the Corn that was left in the straw where with the house was thatched; grew, & was all as green as grass: the Marquis (by that time that we had got a good fire, and had laid some lose boards, and strawed the new made floar with rushes) came into the Town, and seeing the manner of the housetop, and the parlour bottom, said, That he lay over a Bog, and under a Meadow. But it being known who he was, the Mayor of the Town, with singular respect, and much humanity came unto the Marquis, and excused the rudeness of the Townsmen, and shown his Lordship the mistake, offering his Lordship his own house, and many other civilities, and what else his Lordship thought might lie within his power; for which my Lord gave him many and hearty thanks, breaking out into this Meditation. Lord what a thing this misunderstanding, I warrant you: might but the Kign and the Parliament confer together, as you and I have done, there might be as right an understanding betwixt them, as there is now between you and I; some body have told the Parliament, that the King was an enemy, & their believing of him to be such, hath wrought all the jealousies which are come to these distractions, the Parliament being now in such a case as I myself am, having green ears over their heads, and false ground under their feet.   

APOPHTH. 16.  
IN the same Town (at my Lord's departure) by the carelessness of his Servants, 1000 l. in gold was left behind, being hid under the bench: and forgot to be taken away, this money was never missed until we came to our Journeys end, at night: and it being told my Lord that so much money was missing, and where they had left it. My Lord made no other words of it, but these, you talk of a cheap reckoning, but I never paid so dearly for a night's lodging in all my life; who would think that a man should leave so much money behind him, in such a lousy Inn: one that stood by told the marquis, that it was a hundred to one, if ever he heard of his money again, it was such a beggarly house. O peace said the Marquis, if they won't be known of the money, you shall see it will be a brave Inn in time. This money was sent after, and very honestly restored, and delivered into the Messenger's hands, that came for it; being brought unto the Marquis, there was much wondering at the honesty of the woman of the house: others praised the whole Town, for their general and honest dealing, seeing it was generally known: the marquis told them, That it may be the Town never saw so much money before, and therefore they knew not what to make on't.   

APOPHTH. 17.  
THe marquis journeying on his way to Raglan, happened to come to a place that was called Strata del florida, in Cardiganshire, (which made him ask us whither we meant to carry him? saying, That we had brought already to the West Indies,) an old ruinated, but sometimes a most famous monastery; with whose ruins was built a pretty tolerable Welsh Gentleman's house, where my Lord lodged that night; in which house there was shown unto us, an old, old woman: who was credibly reported, to have been living, and of years able to remember when that Monastery was in its flourishing condition, and to have been at mass oftentimes when the place was inhabited with Monks and Friars; this strange Relation, was no sooner carried up and presented to my Lords ears; But my Lord was as greedy to glut his eyes, with such an Object, as they to fill his ears, with the Relation. The woman being sent for, came, coming, the Marquis questioned her concerning the manner of the Monk's behaviour, both in their Service, their Orders, Habits, Customs, and all other particulars; who gave his Lordship so exact an account, that he believed it to be true, and confessed that it must needs be so; and questioning of her further, about her age? she said she was one hundred years of age; then the Marquis asked her: And what when the Religion altered, you altered with the Religion? she answered no, in truth Master, I stayed to see, whether or no, the People of the new Religion would be better than the people of the old; and I could see them nothing, but grow worse and worse, and charity to wax colder and colder, and so I kept me to my old Religion, I thank God, and by the grace of God mean to live and die in it: The Marquis turned to the Gentleman of the house, who was a Protestant, and asked him whether or no, she had been noted for a Papist all her life: the Gentleman said that she had, and could never be brought from it, and that she would oftentimes, steal into the Church alone with her beads, and there she would be praying by herself; The Marquis dismissed her for the present, but after supper, sent for her again, and had some more private conference with her; amongst other things he asked her, how she did do to serve God, and when she had seen a Priest last, when she had been at Mass, or received the Sacrament? the woman answered that she had not seen a Priest, not in 60. years; but she did her Office daily, and never missed, and once a year upon good Friday, she received the Sacrament at the Parson's hands, praying to God, that since she could not attain unto the means that God would make the Parson, a Priest to her at that day: which she believing God Almighty's goodness to be such, as that he did hear her prayers: the Marquis fell into such a fit of laughter, and thence into such expressions of admiration, that I never saw any man so transported between such extremes, in my life, till at the last they both ended in pity, and commiseration, which wrought in the Marquis this effect, and to the poor woman this intended advantage: The Marquis gave her 10. pieces of old gold (which so glisteren in the woman's eye, that it would have been both a loss to herself, and an undervaluation to her Benefactor to have taken them for Angels) telling her that if she would go with him to Raglan, and spend the remainder of her days with him, she should be welcome, and there enjoy the means of bringing her thither, where now she had but a little way to go, meaning Heaven, and that she should want for nothing, neither whilst he lived nor afterwards, and if there were any friends of hers that were poor, she should give that 10. pounds amongst them, and she should have more: the woman fell a crying, saying, over, and over again, constantly, God had sent him, God had sent him; he was a good man. And so she departed, resolving to go as soon as possible, towards Raglan: the next news that we could hear in the morning, was, that the poor woman was dead. Whereupon the Marquis excessively grieved and wept: all concluding that she died with excess of joy; whereat the Marquis said thus unto us. If this poor soul died for joy, that she should come into a place, where she might serve God: how joyfully, will she serve him, where she comes into a place, when she shall never die.   

APOPHTH. 18.  
ON our way, we were told, that we should come by a place which was famous for miracle, which the tradition of those parts reports, to have been wrought, occasioned upon St. David's preaching unto 3000. people: who that he might the better be heard: the ground it is said, to rise up, in a round knob; whereupon St. David pitched his Cross, whereon he leaned, whilst he was preaching; which Cross, was yet standing, with some words and letters, which time had made unlegible, and that St. David had caused a Church, to be erected in that place, as a memorial of so great a miracle; this Relation made the Marquis very desirous, to view the place, the Church and the Cross; and standing in the Churchyard, every man endeavouring to make something of the obliterated superscription, and no man could, for there were only these worn pieces of Characters to be seen, viz. Crx. xti. dd. and a piece of an S. which my Lord presently read it Crux Christi Davidis, which we all wondering, that no man could find it out, it afterwards appearing to be so plain. He told us, Look you now, I without my spectacles and ill eyes could read it sooner than all you, that needed none, and had good eyes; it is not a good eye, but a good Faith, that attains to the knowledge of such things, whilst you poor so much upon the like, you lose the meaning, now I will tell you, how I came to find it out: I considered what had been told me, with the help whereof, I came to understand what the words might signify, so that in this, I am sure tradition was a means to help me, to the true understanding of the Scripture; leaving the place, as we were going along by the Churchyard rail, there was an old woman naked as ever she was borne, who kept her Hermitage between the roots of an overgrown hallow Tree, she was the most lamentable spectacle of mortality that ever eyes beheld; her eyes as hollow as a dead man's scull, and her head as bare, nothing but skin and bone, her breasts hanging down like two old leathern pockets, and her belly like a satchel, her tawny skin, looking rather as if it had been lose Garments to the bones; then confines to any flesh and blood; In a word, it frighted us all, only the Marquis was in love with her, protesting That he never saw a sight that did him so much good, saying, how happy were it for a man that is going to bed to his grave, to be first wedded to this Woman.   

APOPHTH. 19  
THe Earl of Glomorgan, (the Marquis of Worcester's eldest Son) accompanied with divers Officers, Knights, and Gentlemen of high rank and quality, all of them of the red letter, as they were on their journey for Ireland, quartered in the Town of Carnavon (a Sea Town) in North-wales, where they were entertained with discourse at their Table, by some of the Gentlemen of the Country, which informed them, of the fulfilling of an old Welsh Prophecy, at that very time and place, which was, viz, That there should come a Magpie and build her nest in the Crown, than should come a Jack-daw, and beat away the Magpie; and after that, there should come a Buzzard, that should beat away the Jack-daw; and then there should be seen no Crown but that of thorns, upon the King's head; at last there should come a band of men from a fare Country, and take away the thorns, and then the Crown should appear again: this they said was (thus) hitherto accomplished. viz. over the gate of Carnarvan Castle, there was the Picture of King Edward 1. in full proportion, with a Crown upon his head; there did come a Magpie, who did build her nest in the said King's Crown, and a Jack-daw did beat away the Magpie, and the Buzzard the Jack-daw: this (said the Townsmen) we assure your Honour to be true, and all our Townsmen have observed it; whereupon the Earl of Glamorgan replied, why may not we be that band of men, that shall take away these thorns, from off the King's head, first in type, and then in substance; we come fare enough off, and thereupon, all concluded themselves to be the men; in order whereunto, they all resolved, that as soon as ever they had filled their bellies, they would satisfy their eyes, with the sight, as well as their ears, with the Relation, and lend their helping hands to alter the figure. Dinner being ended, they all went to the Castle gate, being come, there they beheld the sight, the nest being disordered, with the fightings of the Combatants, the materials made such a mournful aspect, as if they had been artificially pleated upon the King's head, which made Sir Vinian Moleneus say, that he never beheld a sadder spectacle in all his life. The Earl of Glamorgan could not endure the sight, but straightway Commanded the nest to be pulled down, which was done accordingly, and being thrown down, they found the materials of the nest to be such, as wherewith never any bird did build her nest, viz. with white thorn, which for a memorandum or rarity, every one of them, stuck a thorn in his Hatband, and wore it.  
This story was related to the Marquis of Worcester, having heard it, after some pause, he asked those about him, what is the nickname which the Roundheads use to give to the Bishops? there were none about him who could guess at his meaning; which he perceiving, said, as I take it, they used to call the Bishop's Magpies, whom they reproach for building their nests in the Crown; then came the Presbyterian Jackdaws, and beat them out; and the next thing that you shall see will be the Independent Buzzards, will drive them away, and who shall come next, God knows. One with a Roman nose, made answer. I hope my Lord, that after that these men have played their pranks sufficiently; no man will presume to build his nest hereafter in the Crown, but I hope there will be a knot of good fellows, that may ease the King's head from the pricking of those thorns, and clear the Crown from those encumbrances; whereupon the Marquis replying, asked the party that related the story, what manner of Crown it was, that was upon the King's head? the Gentleman replied, a Royal Crown. I, but I mean said the Marquis, was it an open or an imperial Crown? the Gentleman made answer, an open Crown, O then, said the Marquis, that was the Reason the King's Crown was too open; had it been close at top, with the Cross over head, such unlucky birds could never have come there, to have built their nests; but one thing I mislike in the story, that after they had taken the thorns from the King's head, they should afterwards wear them in their own Hatbands.   

APOPHTH. 20.  
I Cannot (well) tell, whether it was, upon the marriage of my Lord Edward Herbert, with the Earl Carnavons sister, or the Lord Matague, with the marquis of Worcester's Daughter; that there happened this merry passage, or mock-wedding (as an echo to the voices, that were heard in Hymeneus' Chapel, between those lovely couple (think which you please) who had newly left being wholly themselves, by being half of each other) viz. One of those two pair of Lovers, had no sooner united two hearts in one, and had seated themselves, by one of the too many proprieties belonging unto the honourable state of matrimony, viz. the board, but this Tom Deputy an old bachelor, chanced to cast his eye upon a pretty piece of waiting woman, (one of the appurtenances to this honourable bride) he this jovial Tom (having whetted his wit by the sides of the marriage bowl) fixes upon (being enabled sufficiently thereby to follow any humour) as a fit subject to make their Ladyships some sport, which happened to be so suitable to the occasion, and so well performed, that it soon captivated the ears also, of all the masculine Nobility. (Thus encountering the fair Bride.) Madam, you have the pretiiest piece of necessity yonder, at the side Table, that I know not how any man can be without her, that may have her for ask, Madam will you give her me? I protest I will marry her, and fancy myself to be a Lord, and herself a Lady: My mind to me a Kingdom is, which shall make her a sufficient jointure. Tom, Tom, (said the Marquis) such men as you and I, whose joints are enfeebled, with the strokes of many years, must not think to win young maids, by promising to make them jointures of the mind; but will you make her Deputy of Deputy-Hall? and Landlady of all the Land that is belonging to it? and Mrs. of all the stock that is upon the Land, and Goods that is within the house? and then, you shall hear what my Daughter, and her woman will say unto you. With all my heart (said Tom) and all the Hogs, and poultry, that is about the house to boot: and she shall lie upon six Featherbeds the first night; why then it shall be a match (said the Lady) withal my heart. Give me your hand Madam, (says Deputy) I will have her, if there be no more necessary evils in the World, and presently makes his addresses to the pretty little Gentlewoman of the said Table, who had heard all the discourse, and was persuaded then upon his approach, to answer his humour, with a condescension at the first word, and informed, that he was an old rich whoreson: he accosting her after this manner, this pretty moppit, now thy Lady hath given her consent, that I shall have thee, if thou sayest so too, we'll be in bed as soon as they, with all my heart, and thank you too, said the young Gentlewoman) by my troth a match (said he) give me thy hand, 'tis done: I'll break such a jest (this day) as I never broke in my life; but do not break your promise (said the Gentlewoman.) What, before all this Company (said Deputy) that were a shame. Up he goes again, to the Lady, and tells her, that they were agreed: my Lady drank to him, upon the same condition, he pledged her, and wished the wine might be his poison, if he did not marry her after dinner: The Lady (willing to prefer her woman to such a fortune) held him to his word, and required performance of his promise (giving her many and high Commendations) Tom, went not from any part of his promise, only the time excepted, and that in regard he meant to buy himself some wedding Clothes: the Marquis (willing to remove that Obstacle) told him, that he thought his Clothes would fit him: and bid him go unto his Wardrobe, and take what he had a mind to: give me your key (said Tom) it was delivered unto him; up went he, and then came down, with his Beaver Hat, satin Cloak, laid with plush, daubed with a gold & silver lace, suit of the same, silk stockings, with roses and Garters suitable, inside & outside, capape, all as brave, as if he carried a Lordship on his back. The Lady Bride takes her woman aside, and dresses her in one of her richest and new Gowns, (that should have made every day of that week sensible of an exchange) with all things answerable thereunto: not without some store of slight Jewels, and brings her down, as glorious, as the morn, that breaks from the eastern hill, and chases night away, they look upon one another, and all upon them both. Tom cries out, I had best be in good earnest, said my Lady, I thought you had been in sober sadness, neither (Madam) said the new Bridegroom and old Tom, I hope (said the Lady) you will not make me take all this pains for nothing; no by no means (saith he) if ever we repent, we will sell our fine , and buy Cattle. It is better being a Lord for a week, than a slave for ever. Come thy ways; happy is the wooing, that is not long a doing: married they were, in the greatest pomp and Ceremony; and the Queen of beauty, took delight, in losing the eyes of the vulgar, which by this time, were altogether fixed on the Lady of the May. Tom acted his scene of mirth in the Hall, which proved to be a thing of that convenience, as if it had been an act of some set policy, to keep the crowd out of the parlour, that the Masquers might have room enough to dance in, at last when the Masque was ended, and time had brought in Supper, the Cushine led the dance, out of the parlour, into the Hall, and saluted the old-new-made Bridegroom, and his Lady, leading them into the Parlour, to a Table which was furnished, with the same allowance that was allotted for all the Nobles, where they were soon forced to sit down first. (Tom taking upon him as much as they could give him.) In fine, Supper being ended, the Marquis of Worcester asked the Lady Bride, if she had a hundred pounds about her: she answered, no my Lord, but I can send for as much, I pray do, (said the Marquis) but it must be all in gold; she sent for it, and presented it to her Father, who pulled out another purse of an hundred pieces, and put the two hundred pieces in the Basin, saying, Madam, if you do not give earnest, Deputy will tell you, in the morning, that he married your woman but in jest: Whereupon, some gave fifty, others forty, some gave twenty, others ten: the lest gave five pieces, who sat at the Table in all, 700 l. The Apparel and other gifts, amounting to no less a value, than one thousand pounds, which so transported the old man, that he protested, that now he was in the humour, he would marry all the waiting Gentlewomen they had. One every day in the week, as long as the wedding lasted: my Lord Marquis replied, I but Tom, you have left out one thing that you should have said, viz. at this rate. Not to be too tedious, the man, what with bounty, and what with that, which was as free to every man, as was their purses unto him, which was good wine, the man was not himself, when he should have gone to bed to another, which being related to my Lord, his Lordship took an occasion, to tell the Company, the story of the beggar, who was made believe, he did but dream of the happiness, that was really acted; and thereupon, the Marquis was desirous, to make experiment whether it could be related in the person of old Thomas: in order whereunto, he gave Command, that my Friend Thomas, should be disrobed of his next wedding Garment, the rest of his fine Clothes taken from him, and himself carried unto his old Lodging in the Porter's Lodge, and his wife to respite the solemnisation of the Marriagebed, until his comportment should deserve so fair an admission: which was done accordingly, the next morning made the experiment to answer the height of all their expectations; for news was brought unto the Marquis, (all the rest of the Lords and Ladies standing by) that Tom took all yesterday work but for a dream, or at least, seemed to do so, to humour the fancy. I should be endless, if I should relate unto you, the sport that this fellow made. To conclude, the Marquis called them both before him, and delivered unto them the money, with many good exhortations to them both, thus moralising upon the premises, viz. That which was first in intention, is oftentimes, both with God, and man, the last in execution: as for example, God had before all Worlds, determined, to show his love to mankind, by wedding his only Son to his Church; so that thus much we have gained already, viz. That the Marriage, that was made in Paradise, between Adam and Eve, though it was the first in time, yet it was but secondary, to the first intention; and he that said, before Abraham was, I am: was also, before Adam was, and though the first Marriage, was but a type of the second, yet the second, (according to the foresaid intention) was an antecedent to the first. God, who having an intention, to wed his Son to his beloved spouse, the Church: gave way to this type or figure, or (to bring the similitude a little homer) mock-wedding, which was between Adam and Eve, whom to make appear more worthy and glorious, in the eyes of his beloved, and all other Creatures, he arrayed with full Majesty, and the Robe of righteousness his mercy (the Lady and Empress of all the glorious attributes of God) arrai● this type and figure of his Church, with the Robe of innocence, and gives them both a large proportion of his grace. These blessings, Adam (by tasting the forbidden fruit) lost his Paradise and slept in death.  
Gentlemen. I will not make any application hereof, lest I may seem to mistrust your wisdoms, but I have nothing to say to the Woman.   

APOPHTH. 21.  
THe Marquis of Worcester, calling for a Glass of Claret-wine, it was told him by his Physician, that Claret-wine was nought for his Gout: What my old Friend, Claret, nay give it me (said the Marquis) in spite of all Physicians and their Books, it never shall be said, that I forsook my Friend for mine Enemy.   

APOPHTH. 22.  
DUring the time of the siege of Raglan, there came a Musket Bullet in at the window of the withdrawing room (where my Lord was used to entertain his Friends, with his pleasant discourses after dinners and suppers) which glancing upon a little marble pillar of the window, and from thence, hit the Marquis upon the side of his head; and fell down flatted upon the Table, which breaking the pillar in pieces, it made such a noise in the room, that the Countess of Glamorgan (who stood in the same window) ran away, as if the house had been falling down upon her head: crying out, O Lord, O Lord, but finding herself more afraid than hurt: she returned back again, no less excusing her (as she was pleased to call it) rudeness to her Father; then acknowledging her fears to all the Company: to whom the Marquis said, Daughter, you had reason to run away, when your Father was knocked on the head: and pausing some while, and turning the flatted bullet round with his finger, he further said, Gentlemen. Those who had a mind to flatter me, were wont to tell me, that I had a good Head-piece in my younger days; but if I do not flatter myself, I think I have a good Head-piece, in my old age, or else it would not have been Musket-proofe.   

APOPHTH. 23.  
ONe was telling the Marquis, how strangely I escaped a shot, by the Bar of a window (looking out into the Leaguer) as thus: standing in a window of the Castle, there came a Musket-bullet, and hit full against the edge of an Iron Bar of a Chamber window, so that it parted the bullet in two, the bar expatiating itself (by degrees) towards the middle; one half of the bullet flew by me, on the one side, and the other half on the other side, so that (by God's providence) I had no hurt: the marquis hearing this, asked me, in what Chamber it was, I told him, his Lordship said, as I remember, the window was cross bard, and you will never believe me, how safe it is, to stand before the Cross, when you face your Enemy.   

APOPHTH. 24.  
THe marquis of Worcester, was always wont (towards his later times) to dine and sup, by himself, and being asked the Reason (by one who thought he might be so bold) and told that it would be more delightful, and cheerful to him, then to dine and sup by himself; he made answer, That he knew not what delight any man could take, to show himself mortal. The Inquisitor made answer, that every man did know, and believe that he did eat, and therefore he did not appear less mortal, by appearing so mortal: My LORD replied, Every man knows and believes, that I empty, as well as fill, my body: yet it is not necessary, that I express that mortality, but rather seek out privacy: The party that broached the Discourse, further said: My LORD, it is the main occasion of humane society, and if humane society were debarred of that occasion of complacence; mirth would have no room to dance, according to the old Proverb, 'tis merry in Hall, when beards wag all. O (said the marquis,) SOLOMON was a wise man, but he appropriated music to a Banquet of wine: and not to a Table filled with the mangled flesh, and Carcasses of so many slain Creatures: that should rather put us in mind of our own mortality, and sins, (seeing our lives are necessitated thereby, to be repaired by the death of so many Martyrs) and the Heathens supposed, their Gods to drink wine, but never to eat any meat.   

APOPHTH. 25.  
THere was a great man in the KING'S Army, between whom and the house of Raglan, there was (at that time) animosity. The marquis of WGRCESTER had heard, that this party should cast a dubious saying, (as the case then stood) viz. That he, intended to take RAGLAN in his way, and was so fare as good as his word as that he marched into the Park, and there drew up his men, and faced the Castle; whereupon, the line was man'd and Command was given, that none should be suffered to come near the line (within such a distance) which Command was so observed, that some of the Officers of the Army (approaching within the place prohibited) the Sentry bid stand: they did not, the Sentry called upon them again, to stand: they refused, the Lieutenant called upon the Sentry to give fire: the Sentry (preferring the knowledge of his Friends before his Duty to his Officer, did not give fire; but swore, he would give fire if they did not stand: whereupon, one of them told him, that it was such a General, and wondered, that the Officer would bid the Soldier give fire upon him: the General forthwith, coming to the Draw-bridge, desired to speak with the Lord CHARLES: whom he no sooner saluted, but required satisfaction for the affront; he was desired to come into the Castle, and told that the matter should be examined before him, and if any affront were given, he should receive satisfaction: whereupon, being come within the Castle, the Lieutenant was sent for, who told the General, that though he knew him to be the General, yet (as a Soldier,) he was not to take any notice of him, until such time as he had declared himself, which when he did, he respected him accordingly: furthermore, telling him, that he had been an old Soldier, and that he had in other parts, seen rewards given unto Soldiers (who stood Sentry) for firing upon their General, having the like occasions, but never knew it a fault before. All this would not serve turn, the General said he was affronted, and must have satisfaction, requiring my LORD to call a Council of War, and to do him justice, and so took his leave, and went his way. The Marquis of WORCESTER sleeping upon his bed all this while, and not dreaming of any of all this that had happened in the interim, hearing the whole Relation, he asked all his Officers, whether or no the Lieutenant had offended? they all answered no, and commended him, for what he had done: then said the marquis, This is but a pretence, they have a mind to quarrel with us: If ye should call a Council of War, and acquit him: that is it that they desire, and thence they would ground their quarrel, and if ye should inflict any punishment upon him, to give them satisfaction, that were baseness and injustice: therefore I will have it thus, send a Guard with him, to the General, of such Soldiers as are able to witness the truth, and let him try him at his Council of War, and see what Law he hath for it, and so we shall break the neck of the quarrel: and so said the Lieutenant, I shall hang by the neck for my labour: whereat the marquis replied, What friends hast thou in the Garrison? The Lieutenant made answer, I have a Wife and a Daughter; then said the Marquis with some vehemence, I protest unto thee, if they hang thee, I'll marry thy wise, and provide for thy Daughter: The Lieutenant replied, I had rather you would marry my Daughter, and provide for me. I protest, said the marquis, so I will, I will marry thy Daughter, and I will provide for thee— an honourable grave, but you shall be hanged first. My Lord, said the Lieutenant, shall I bespeak my grave? Thou shalt, said the marquis, than said the Lieurenant, I will be laid in the vault in Raglan Church, between your Father, and your Grandfather, and I pray God I may be hanged before I see you again: and so fling out of the room, leaving my LORD in the merriest vain, that ever I saw him: who remembering himself, sent him five pieces to bear his Charges. The Lieutenant being brought to the General, to Monmouth: The General dismissed him of his Guard, and sent him to Hereford, with an Oath at his heels. that he would hang him, if there were no more men in England.  
Then the Lieutenant cried out, this makes for us, I do but think how finely, I shall lie between the two old EARLS; and how finely the old EARL will lie between my Daughters two young legs. The particulars hereof, being brought to the marquis, the marquis was not a little perplexed, between fear of having his new Mistress, and losing his old Friend: which he had run himself into, between jest, and earnest: The time was come, that the marquis was not so much merrier than we, heretofore; but we were as much merry as he, upon the return of this news. But the greatest sport of all, was, concerning the hopeful Lady marquis, who was ever and anon, enquiring and ask many questions, concerning the marquis, whom she never saw) what manner of man he was? how old? whether he went with a staff or no? what was the reason he kept his Chamber so much, and did not come abroad some times? what Diseases he had? and how long ago it was since his Lady died? with many other necessary questions to be asked, by a woman in her condition: sport enough there was for both the Garrisons, Raglan and Hereford: nevertheless, it stood the marquis upon, to be solicitous in the business, being sore pressed, between two strong passions, love and pity, Me he sends to solicit the business, with instructions; whose telling me (never so often) that it was no laughing matter, could not make me forbear laughing. But having taken my leave, his Lordship called me back again, and with a loud and angry voice said to me, tell the General, that if he hang my Lieutenant, I'll hang the Sentry, for not giving fire upon him when he was bid: whereupon I said unto his Lordship, what doth he care how many you hang? God bless us all (said the marquis) if he neither cares who he hangs, [of the King's party] nor who other folks hang, for aught I know, he cares not, and they were all hanged. So taking my second leave of the Marquis, and then my humble leave of the Lady Elizabeth, who fearing nothing more but that I would prove too good a Solicitor for her good, I went to Hereford, and made some sport there, and so brought home the Lieutenant to his Wife and Daughter, who ever after was called my Lady Marquis.   

APOPHTH. 26.  
THe marquis would often say, That all the inconveniencies, that the frailty of humane nature, was incident to fall into, ever happened, through the want of this consideration, had, at the end of every action, before ever we enterprised, a beginning, viz. What then.   

APOPHTH. 27.  
HE was wont to say, That a plain dealing Friend, whose friendly Council, was requited with choler, and disgust, was like a turf, that (whilst a man bestowed breath upon it to inliven it) returns thanks to the well-willer▪ by spitting fire in his face.   

APOPHTH. 28.  
WE were talking of an old drunken fellow, who (having used his body to disorder, in drinking all his life time, and at last giving it over) presently died. O [said the Marquis] if you take a brand out of the fire, that is thoroughly burnt, it will fall in pieces; but if you let it lie there still, it may remain a pretty while, before it turn to ashes.   

APOPHTH. 29.  
THe Marquis was a very devout man, and used prayer very much, and you should never see his closet door open, but you might perceive he had been weeping, which he would endeavour to conceal, by wiping his eyes; but he could never wipe away either the swelling, or the redness [as it was commonly observed by all the Servants, that had nearest relation to him, and indeed to all those, who had any familiarity with him] for after dinner, he admitted all Gentlemen into his presence, whom he would constantly entertain with a Chapter either out of the book of patience, or else out of Derxelius upon eternity, or out of an excellent Manuscript called, The love of God, which had 100 Chapters all upon that Subject, which he would read with such devotion, that oftentimes his tears would overthrow their banks, which I having observed to be so frequently performed told him, I thought it did him much hurt. No [said the Marquis] This issue of the soul must not be stopped, if you knew but what a fire I have to quench, you would rather wish me to provide more water. Have you not such a saying in Scripture, that they who sow in tears shall reap in joy? I wish that I could so weep, all my life, that I might laugh in death, and sing in Heaven, and I were a happy man.   

A●OPHTH. XXX.  
I Was walking one day with his Lordship in a private walk that was about the round Tower: and there we spied where a bird had made her nest, whom we disturbed from hatching her young ones and sitting upon her eggs: which act of nature my Lord compared unto the manner of the creation; for said he, God having made his nest the world, and brought forth his young at first unperfected, did by his spirit incubare and by his wings of providence spread over them he gave them life and power, and by his word he broke the shell, et sic pullulavit mundum.   

APOPHTH. XXXI.  
WE were talking upon occasion of Christ's miracles; viz of his turning water into wine, and of the five loaves and two fishes, why (said the marquis) these miracles he works amongst us every day; but that they are so ordinary unto us that we take no notice of them: God sends rain upon the earth: this water gets up into the vine: and the sap of the vinetree, God turneth into wine. And as few grains of Corn, as will make five louves (being sowed in the earth) will multiply, and increase to such advantage as will feed 5000 with bread; and two fishes will bring forth so many fishes, as will suffice so many mouths.   

APOPHTH. XXXII.  
WE were discoursing before him, concerning the error of the Manichees, who held that there were two causes of heaven and earth, viz. that the good and white God, made the heaven and man, from the middle upward: and the black and evil God, was the efficient cause of the earth, and of man, from the middle downward. That was but a foolish Conceit (said the Marquis:) so Gods power and wisdom is shown and seen, as well in an Ant, as in an Elephant: as well in a worm as in an angel: so his Godhead and might appears, as well in the earth, as in the heavens: but methinks it had been (on my conceit) a pretty fancy, and not so far from truth or reason, if they had held, that heaven and earth had been man and wife, or male and female: seeing the heaven was made as the male part of the world, by whose influence, motion and dews the earth as the female part thereof (out of her womb) brings forth all necessary and living Creatures.   

APOPHTH. XXXIII.  
THe Marquis, was of a disposition, always inclining to charitable constructions: which suffered him to want excuses or some cloak or other to throw over any man's imperfection. There was a Gentleman of high desert, who chanced in the Marquis' hearing to come under the lash of some men's Censures: Alas Gentleman said the Marquis, will you have Corn to grow without chaff? or light to be without its adjoining darkness? or the sweetest honey without unsavoury wax? or the pleasant wines or liquors, without their lees and dregs? as soon shall corn grow without chaff, as a man of his parts shall be free from vain glory: worthless chaff keeps the corn warm, and vain glory fires him to all those brave achievements: if you set a man on an horse let him have his spurs.   

APOPHTH. XXXIV.  
THe Marquis was one day reading us a Lecture of patience in our adversity: among the rest of those witty say which came from him, he told us, that there was nothing so bad but was good for something, for (said he) if there were no silence, there would be no music; for the sudden stops that are in music, add to the grace and perfection of the Art: ignorance, is a spur to knowledge: darkness, a pavilion to the Almighty: a  or drawn Chamber, for us to sleep in a Dungeon for the Judge to punish his Delinquents, and a foil for the Painter to make his shadows: so are afflictions, good for our instructions; and adversities for our amendments.   

APOPHTH. XXXV.  
THere was an old rich Usurer and fornicator: who had a plot upon the body and estate, of a handsome young Widow & an inheritrix of an Estate, which this old miser thought, rather convenient, then great enough for him: wherefore having a mind, rather to enjoy, then have her: and knowing that she was in debt, courted her with offering to leave her moneys, as an argument of his affection, which she accepted of, offering to bind her Estate for the repayment: hoping that the tie of his person, would be a freedom of her Estate: thus with his money, he got his foot into her Estate, and by a false promise stepped into her bed as often as he had a mind to lie doubly, six years he staved her off, who bedstaved him in, within her own sleeping-room: but at last, that she might be sure of the substance: she urged him to the ceremony, and that so much, that at last he gave her a flat denial; whereupon she denies him the former familiarity: he enters upon her Estate, and answers the kindness of her admittance of him into her own bed, with the discourse, of turning her out of her own doors: she makes the Marquis her friend, declaring unto him how much she had been abused by him: and withal, that she was willing to pay him his money, but not the use of it, as he required: who thereby thought that he had struck her deep enough, for ever obtaining a recovery: the Marquis sent for this whoreson, and offered himself a mediator: the man was unwilling to that; yet knew not (well) how to deny him: which the Marquis perceiving, called him aside, and bid him get her to be bound with him in a bond of 500 pound, to stand to such an award as he should make between them: promising him faithfully, that he would award him use upon use. O my Lord: if you do so, I shall be much obliged to your honour, and will be bound with all my heart: and will send you a couple of the bravest colts, and of your Lordships own breed, as any is in the Country: well, well, said the Marquis, let it be so then. All was done accordingly; and when the business was examined, and found to be as was before related, the Marquis made this award, viz. Sir, said he to the man, she hath had the use of your money so long, and you have had the use of her body so long: and there is use upon use; so I have allowed you what I promised; whereupon the poor man, looked, as if he would have sunk down dead in the place; which the Marquis perceiving, asked, why would you have both your principal and your interest? And reason good my Lord, said the fellow, why then, you shall have both, (said the Marquis) here take her; for if you will not take both in her, you shall take neither without her; for I award you, either to marry her forthwith, or else to lose both your principal and interest: could you have so little conscience, as to take so much consideration for the use of a little pie●e, and allow no consideration, both for the use and abuse of such a creature as this, whose preferment you have marred: whose credit you have taken away: and whose fortunes you (thus) go about to deprive her, and her children of? can you think a bond made before a Scrivener, and signed by such Witnesses, such a strong tie on your part? and do you think that such an obligation made to her, before such a public not ary as God Almighty: and witnessed by men and Angels, should be no tie on her behalf? go, go, take her to you, and marry her, and let me hear no more of it; for if I do, you shall soon hear from me. The man being by this time schooled into some conformity, protested unto the Marquis, that if she had proved with child, he would have married her. O (said the Marquis) if that be all, I'll run a hazard, if she brings you no children: you shall pay me my two colts, but at the day of the birth of your first child. And thereupon he dismissed them who were soon after married.   

APOPHTH. XXXVI.  
IT was ordinary with the Marquis, to entertain discourse with every man, according to the condition and profession he was of: And most commonly from the beginning of his discourse, you should never know what the end would be; Taking delight to deceive the expectation of his auditor. Upon a time there was presented unto him a Lawyer, and he was informed before hand, how excellent a man he was in his profession. The Marquis thought with himself, how he might pose him, and being brought in with other Gentlemen. After they had dined, he was presented unto the Marquis: Sir, (said the Marquis,) I have received a very good Character of you: they say, you are very learned in the Law: I would very fain ask you one question, any thing my Lord, said the Lawyer, that lies within my poor ability. I pray (said the Marquis,) who was the first man that ever had a Dedimus potestatem granted unto him? The Lawyer was so confounded, that he knew not what to say, for a long time: at last he made a long and learned discourse, concerning the original of that writ. And the Marquis gave him the hearing, but when he had done, He told him, that he came far short of the Origin thereof. For Adam was the first that ever had plenitudinem potestatis granted unto him, viz. when God gave him power to subdue the earth, and to have Dominion over every living creature, the Lawyer thanked his Lordship, and told him, that he thought the Law, had not been so ancient. Ancient (said the Marquis) there was the beginning of all your Courts of Justice. But I see you are but a common Lawyer that cannot derive your pedigree from thence.   

APOPHTH. XXXVII.  
THere was a new married couple, presented before the Marquis: the Bride a goodly, proper woman, her face well featured, an excellent eye she had; but was pitiful disfigured with the small pox: the Marquis looking much upon her, and saying nothing to her a long while: we all know that silence was in labour for some notable production. At last, he advances toward the young Bride, and asked her, Gentlewoman, do you know, why it is said that God Almighty created man, and builded woman? the Gentlewoman somewhat out of countenance answered, no indeed my Lord: the Marquis asked her again, do you know why you (women) are called housewives? I think my Lord, said the Bride, because good wives should keep at home, and not gad abroad. It is a good answer (said the Marquis) but not the right: for women may be bad wives at home as well as abroad: or else they would never scold their husbands out of doors. The answer to my first question is: woman is not said to be made, as Adam was, which only signifies plain work; but to be built, which signifies curiosity, & contrivance: and therefore as to my second question; a woman is called a housewife, because she is a house, out of which all the Royal Families of Kings and Emperors, derive their extract; neither are you only compared unto houses, but unto City's Kingdoms, Churches and Commonwealths: but do you know what house you are like? no indeed my Lord, said the Bride, why then I'll tell you, when God builded the first woman, he made her his Storehouse, wherein he had laid up all the race of Mankind, wherewith he replenished the whole earth; but I must tell you Lady, God Almighty did not make you Coaches nor Wagons, that you should be always gadding abroad: whereat the Bridegroom made answer, my Lord, I thank you for this, I hope my wife will remember it; my Lord, said the young Bride, you will read such a lecture to my husband, that he will never let me go abroad; O Lady (said the Marq.) he must not debar you of that liberty, provided that you never go abroad but when you go out like the snail, who seldom stirs abroad, but whilst that blessing (the dew of heaven) is upon her earth, that she may gather benefit, and by her greatest care, and equal management still carries her house upon her back: O my Lord (said she) If I should go abroad like the snail, I should carry a house upon my back, and horns in my forehead; No Lady, (said the Marquis) though she forks at you, yet they are no horns: the snail can soon draw them in if you touch them, which no horned creature can perform; but she carries them in her head, to teach you what you should provide, and bear in your mind, against you go to hay-making: but the Marquis fearing that he had a little displeased her, he thought to make her amends by this following discourse. Sir, (said he, to the new Bridegroom) you know I have compared your wife unto a building, and I must commend your choice; for (said he, alluding unto her disfugurement) a goodly house, must not be chosen by the smoothness or whiteness of the wall: for such a one, may be but a dairy-house, or a milk-house: nor according to the colours or paintings of the outside, for such a one may be but a Tavern or an Alehouse: but if I see a house that is lofty, and stately built, and have fair windows, though the outside be but ruffcast, yet I am sure, there are goodly rooms within. And so both parties were well pleased.   

APOPHTH. XXXVIII.  
IT was told the Marquis, that such a Roman Catholic being sorely pressed to take the oath of supremacy, and being acquainted with another Gentleman, who was a Protestant, and so like unto him, that you could hardly distinguish them, whilst they were together, much less asunder: this Imago sui, as if nature had chosen him to be his representative, as the others part, (the right stone being pulled out, and a Counterfeit set in the right ring) and what with the likeness of his countenance, and the identity of apparel, he passed for currant, which jest my Roman thought so good, that he must needs brag of it to the Marquis; but the Marquis no way liked it, ask him, would you put another upon that which you would not do yourself? what if the Devil (you two being so like one another) should mistake you for him? I assure you he would go near to mar the conceit.   

APOPHTH. XXXIX.  
THe Marquis had an old Servant, one Redman; this man was so much his Lordships, that in all his life-time (which for the most part was spent in his Lordship's service) he was never heard to contradict his Lord in his opinion; but to every thing that his Lord should say, (right or wrong) he still would answer his Lord, I an't like your Lordship. It happened that upon a time when the Marquis was much divided within himself, and racked by Council, that this Redman being in the Room, the Marquis chanced to ask Redman his opinion, (declaring his own) old Redman constant to his old resolution, answered his Lordship according to his old wont; I an't like your Lordship; whereupon one that was by, who at that time was contrary to the Marquis in his opinion, & not a little angry with this Redmans' cukcow play, was thus bold with his Lordship, my Lord you have a man here, that I dare say, should your Lordship say unto him, well Redman, thou knowest how I have served God all my life, and now thou seest how he deals with me at last, in delivering me up into mine enemy's hands: introth now Redman, we'll even change Masters, and serve the Devil, and see what good that will do us; and if Redman do not answer you, I an't like your Lordship I durst be hanged; whereat the Marquis replied no no, I do not think so: wouldst thou Redman? Redman either not hearing well what had been said, or else, more to follow his own Vote, then to take off Objections, answered, ant' like your Lordship, I would even take that course, and let them all say what they would. The next day after the Castle was to be surrendered, and the Marquis had Commanded, that word should be brought him, when the General was entered the Castle, that he might meet him in the Hall, the General being entered the outward gate, this Redman came unto his Lord, and told him, An't like your Lordship, Sir Thomas is entered the Castle. The marquis being disposed to express an undauntedness in that revolution of affairs, did in this merriment of behaviour at that very instant reply. Redman (saith he, as he was going to meet the General) this is the end of all flatterers, to flatter us whilst we are in prosteritie, and then to jeer us as soon as ever we come into adversity. I protest my Lord, I speak, said Redman, really; he is coming. O Redman (said the Marquis) if thou speakest really, thou wouldst never make a question, whether it like me or no. Redman replied with a greater vehemence than before, I protest before God, an't like your Lordship, it is true. Look you, (said the Marquis) Sir Thomas is no sooner entered the castle but he is turned protestant, and by this we could see through the window, the General with all his officers entering the outward Court, as if a floodgate had been let open: which the Marquis perceiving asked Redman, how be thought that that could like him, and leaning towards me, whom he (then) leaned upon as the general was advancing towards him, he said these words in my ear, let these men say what they will; and do what they can, we shall never be undone till we be damned: which was a saying which he often used when he heard of any man's undoing.   

APOPHTH. XL.  
There was a very ingenious man, and a good artist, one Duckworth the Queen's servant and Cabinet-maker this man falling low under the Common calamity, I found in Oxford somewhat impoverished, whom I brought along with me to Raglan; supposing there might be some use made of him: he was no sooner there, but beholding the Cutting down of certain trees, which stood near unto the Garrison, & might be a shelter to the besiegers standing by some woodmen, who were selling down a maple-tree, the hatchet of one of the fellers chanced to strike out a chip of the excrescency thereof; which being naturally curled and singularly various both in shape and colours, this Duckworth takes it up in his hand, saying, I will make my Lord marquis the finest Tobacco-box that ever he had in his life, and so did, and presented it unto his Lordship. The Marquis knew not whether it was wood or marble, nor any man else, nor what it was made of; all admire it; at last being told the particulars, the marquis when he had admired it sufficiently, gave him a piece, Duckworth told him that it was too much in regard that his Lordship found the Materials; what a grateful man is this (said the Marquis) to acknowledge a benefit which would have been nothing worth without his labour? and thereupon he began (as his custom was, to apply every thing to some divine and heavenly meditation) God Almighty gives every man a stock or measure of grace, which he must polish and improve by his own endeavours, for (Sir) had you brought me my chip as you found it, I would not have given you thanks.   

APOPHTH. XLI.  
NEver was there a noble house so pulled down by Prophecies, ushered into its ruin by predictions, and so laid hold upon by signs and tokens; I shall tell you no more but what I have both read and seen long before the fall of that proud fabric, which had the honour to fall the last of any that stood upon the terms of honour. There was an old book of Prophecies which was presented to the Marquis, because it so much concerned Raglan Castle. Wherein there were these predictions, viz. That there should come an Earl that should first build a white gate before the Castle-house, and after that should begin to build a red one, but before that red one should be finished, there should be Wars over all the Land, this was fulfilled in the Marquis' time, who having built the one, and begun the other by reason of the distractions of the time, left the later work unfinished; some standing requested his Lordship to make haste to finish his red Gatehouse, because we should have no quiet until that were up. Hark ye said the Marquis, none shall prophesy so much money out of my purse in such times as these, besides the prophet doth not say until, but before, and for aught I know, if I should make haste with that building, I should hasten the War to my own door; for the Prophet says, that before the red Gatehouse shall be finished, there shall be Wars over all the Land; but what if I had built neither the one nor the other, how would this Prophecy have concerned me? O my Lord, said one, it is done, and you could not otherwise choose but do what you did, I but (said the Marquis) I can choose whether I will believe the Prophet.  
Another Prophecy there was, that the King should lose a great battle, and afterwards fly to Raglan, the enemy should pursue him, and then should leave the Castle, and that then the Enemy should besiege and put fire to the Castlewall, which was fulfilled, for they burned the Castle: Also of an Eagle that should come into the Park, and be there slain, which should be a forerunner to the destruction of that house. Which I saw literally performed, but executed by one who heard not of the prophecy: Also of a Cloud of Bats that should hang over the Castle a little before its demolishment, this three days before, all the Castle beheld to their no small astonishment. Which continued about a quarter of an hour, about twilight, so thick, that you could not towards the middle of them, see the sky, though clear, which being shot at with haile-shot, some of them fell down, and the rest fled away: the Marquis being told of this, he asked what those kind of Creatures might signify? some about him told him, that they were emblems of ruin and desolation. He asked if they were all gone? it was told him that they were; whereupon the Marquis asked us whether or no the Enemy had begirt us round? it was answered, that they had: then said the Marquis; I am glad of it; for then these emblems of ruin cannot fly a way from us, but they must fly over some of their heads.  
But the strangest Prophecy of all, if you will pardon the digression, both for signification and accomplishment, is this which I shall set down unto you in terminis, which I read before I saw it in this book 14. years before the War, craving pardon of the English Reader, for troubling him with so much Welsh, whilst I intent a serene to those who understand both languages, viz.  
Coronog fab-Anne a tynir I danneth  
O weilod lhoygir hid a gogleth  
Vnidyn Eschilth a gedwir un wineth  
A unnilth predaine a honey a with rheveth  
Vn I vienglith a vernir un angalth  
Vn I henaid ve lath a Bwyalth.  
I shall endeavour howsoever to let you understand it, but then I must crave pardon of my Countrymen if I do it not well.  
Fabanne as it is one word signifies a baby, so that Coronog fabanne thus taken, signifies a Crowned Baby, which made many to expect how that it should be fulfilled in K. James his time, because he was crowned in his Cradle; but as you make two words of it, fab which signifies a son, and Anne the proper name of a woman, Coronog fab Anne, signifies the Crowned son of Anne; King Charles whose two elder Brethren were never Crowned: this Crowned son is prophesied to have his teeth pulled out of his head, or to be lead by the teeth (for as I take it, the Welsh bears both significations) all the Kingdom over, or from the centre to the uttermost circumferences thereof: This Crowned son, this Prophet tells us, shall be at first, or in his younger years, deemed to be none of the wisest, but in his latter years, ve lath a bwyalth, which is an expression so copious and enigmatical, for it deciphers him and his condition several ways, and may be taken in several kinds, for first it signifies a man that is, and as we commonly say, a notable kil-cow, or a man that bears down all before him with the weight of his argument and acuteness of wit, like a man that lays about him with a battlear bearing down all before him, or else it signifies otherwise, and the words will bear the sense as well, ve lath a Bwyalth, that is, he shall be slain with an Ax.   

APOPHTH. XLII.  
THe time being come, that the prophecy of Henry of Windsor must now fit the fatal destiny of Henry of Raglan, (like a Thunderbolt that splits downward, from the higher to the lower branch of the same Tree) viz. that he should live long and lose all: that Garrison had the honour to make good the rear hope for a time, when the main body of the whole Kingdom, was quite forlorn. And in her last fortunate and successful sally, (like a dying taper) to make one great blaze before she went out. In which exploit, some of her Gentlemen, were so gallant, as to bring home, (as Trophies of her Victories) colours, which were no sooner unshriveled, but they spread (together with themselves) the praises of their takers; these being presented to the Marquis, he turned away his face: saying, these are no natural colours: they are but borrowed, intimating how unnatural the war was, and how soon these colours must be restored.   

APOPHTH. XLIII.  
THere was a young and beautiful Lady, who was showing the Marquis that the colours that hung upon such a Tower, was one of the Curtains of her bed. To which my Lord replied, Madam: I would you would set the little boy, (that uses to stand behind that Curtain) on the top of that Tower. That we may see, whether or no, he would drive away all those men with his Bow and Arrows: to which the Lady replied, Cupid never raised a siege in his life; but he hath taken many a strong-hold, then said the Marquis, I will tell you how you shall make yours impregnable, how my Lord? (said the Lady,) the Marquis said unto her, whensoever you see a handsome young man be sure you shut your eyes or else he will take the fort of your Virginity, flying in at your windows.   

APOPHTH. XLIV.  
THere was an old Servant of my Lords, who would needs make a young Captain, and at last took an opportunity, to show himself an arrant Coward; this Captain upon a time was to command a party to go out, to make a mock-sally, but as soon as ever he came within sight of the enemy, he squatted upon his belly, behind the refuse of an old Brick-kill, for which his behaviour, he was laughed at sufficiently, after that he came into the Castle: some there were who told this unto the Marquis, who (being willing to bring his old Servant off, with better credit, than he had brought off himself) told the informers, I thought I had heard you say, that it was a mock-sally, to which they answered that it was so, then (said the Marquis,) if it was but a mock-sally, he can be but a mock-coward, if you had been in earnest, it may be, he would not have played the fool.   

APOPHTH. XLV.  
THere was a Roman Catholic who had been converted to the Protestant Religion (and giving the Marquis of Worcester a visit) the Marquis questioned him (very seriously) concerning his revolt, and the ground of his desertion, the convertite told him that the ground of his departure from the Church of Rome, was, because she had departed from herself. You say very well, (said the Marquis) but how do you prove that? to which demand the convertite made this reply, viz. The Scriptures tell me so: whereupon the Marquis called for a Bible, giving command it should be a Bible Cum privilegie Regis, which being brought unto him, he said unto the Gentleman I will see whether it will tell me any such thing, and (holding it in his hands a pretty while) at last he opened the Bible, and held it open as long: then, he protested unto the foresaid Gentleman, that the Bible told him no such matter, and that he believed it to be so full of truth and sincerity, and that it respected the salvation of men's souls so much, that if there were any such thing, it would (in charity (with which it was so fully fraught) do no less than acquaint him also with it: to which the Gentleman replied; my Lord, it is not the letter, cover, or paper, that tells me so, it is the sense and meaning, I cry you mercy (said the Marquis,) who shall be judge of that meaning, you or I? to whom the Gentleman gave his Lordship this answer, he who comes nearest to the truth. Then (said the Marq:) how shall we know who comes nearest the truth? we shall know that (said the Gentleman) by the word itself; I have told you (said the Marquis) that the word itself says nothing▪ then (said the Gentleman) there is a persuasive spirit, that directs every man, and leads them into all truth, who are seekers of her, merely for love of herself, Indeed (said the Marquis) I have heard of such a Sect that is newly sprung up, which go under the name of Seekers, but I had rather be on the finders side; to which the Gentleman made answer, Seek and ye shall find; to which my Lord replied, you must have daylight or candlelight, or else your own eyes will do you no good; the Gentleman made answer, that Christ was so easily to be found of all that sought him, that if we did but groap after him we should find him: I (said the Marquis) You say well, but not when there is a light in the room: and thereupon the Marquels entered into a large discourse, persuading the Gentleman to return to his Mother again, whose arms were always open, ready to embrace all that should return into her bosom, to whom the Gentleman thus spoke: my Lord, if I should turn now, I shall be despised on all sides, by the Protestants, because I have left them: by the Papists, because I sometimes left them too, and they will repose no confidence in me hereafter, fearing that I may do the like again: O (said the Marquis) if that be all, than all is nothing, for what can any man say more to you then thus? you have been abroad, and you are come home again.   

APOPHTH. XLVI.  
THe Marquis had a Daughter whose mind gave her to be a Nun, thinking to make choice of such alover as no way regarded any body's imperfections so the mind was straight, the Marq; fearing that she might ground her resolutions upon this discontent, told her, Daughter, if thou runnest thy head into a Nunnery, because thy shoulder is a little out, I'll strike it in with a bag of money, that shall make thee as straight as any of thy Sisters; but if thou dost wed thyself out of pure affection to thy Saviour, I shall think myself happier in thee, then in all my Children besides, that he thought me worthy of being Father unto such a Child, that should dedicate herself so wholly unto Christ: She asked her Father how much he would have given her in marriage, if she had otherwise resolved, and should marry to his liking, telling him, that she did not ask him that question, because she had any such thoughts in her, but that the husband to whom she had vowed herself a spouse, should take notice of what proffers she had refused for his sake; by this means the Marq; told her not with the least, than said she unto her Father; Sir, I am going where I shall never see you more, nor never ask you for any thing hereafter: therefore I beseech you to grant me this one request, which is: that the portion which you were willing to give me, if I should marry, you will not grudge me as my dower, to bring to such a husband, who is my Lord and Saviour: the Marq; perceiving himself caught, gets out of the gin in this manner, Daughter (said he) the husband you talk of, will make you a very fair jointure without any portion at all but yourself, he wants no money; give him your heart, and he is satisfied.   

APOPHTH. XLVII.  
THe Marquis had taken a new Servant to wait upon him, who had the ill luck, to think himself wiser than he was thought by others, in so much, that upon an occasion, he told the Manquess, that he was not wise in such a thing, and that if he were as the Marquis, he would do so and so, the Marq; hearing him, made him this gentle reply, Truly if I knew where to find a Servant that were wiser than his Master, I would give gold for such a one; but to have a Servant that thinks himself wiser than his Master, I would not give a rush: and therefore Sir, I pray provide for yourself, for you are not for my turn, and so dismissed him.   

APOPHTH. XLVIII.  
MY Lord Herbert of Raglan (eldest Son to the Marq;) came into Raglan Castle, attended with 40 or 50 Officers, and Commanders: and his business with his Father being about procuring from the old man more money for the King, the L. Herbert in his request unto his Father, (unhappily and unawares) chanced to use the word must: which his Father (the Marquis) laying hold on, asked him, must you? I pray take it, and threw him the keys of his Treasury, out of his pocket: whereat his Son was wonderfully out of countenance, and abashed, (being otherwise ever a dutiful and respectful Son to his Father) replied; Sir, the word was out before I was ware, I do not intent to put it in force, I pray will you put up your key again: To which the Marquis returned his Son these words, Truly Son, I shall think my keys not safe in my pocket, whilst you have so many Swords by your sides, nor that I have the Command of my house, whilst you have so many Officers in it, nor that I am at my own dispose, whilst you have so many Commanders. My Lord (replied the Son,) I do not intent that they shall stay in the Castle, I mean they shall be gone: I pray let them (said the Marquis,) and have a care that must do not stay behind. Whereat (after that my Lord Herbert was gone out of the room) there were some who (as mannerly as they could) blamed the Marquis for his too much severity to his Son, after that he had seen him express so much of sorrow for that over slip; whereupon the Marquis replied, Hark ye, if my Son be dejected, I can raise him when I please; but it is a question if he should once take a head, whether I could bring him lower when I list: Ned was not wont to use such courtship to me, and I believe he intended a better word, for his Father; but must was for the King.   

APOPHTH. XLIX.  
MY Lord Herbert, after that he had sufficiently exhausted his Father, by all the means he could possibly use, for his Majesty's relief, and had taken up all his Father's moneys far and near, where he could either prevail with force or argument; he chanced to hear of a sum of money to the value of 6000l. which the Marquis had committed to the Lord John (his Son) his care & trusty preservation abroad; this money, my Lord Herbert happened to hear of, and acquaints the King therewith, engaging the King in the business, and tells the King, that if he would send for his brother the Lord John, to come unto him, and would say but thus and thus unto him, that he would undertake, he might have the 6000 l. the King's occasions were then urgent (being then before Gloucester, & hard pinched for lack of money) through My Lord Herbert's persuasion, my Lord John was sent for, came; and the business took effect, the King promising to repay it by such a time: when time and suspicion persuaded the Marquis to call in this money; excuses made delays for a time, but at last all excuses being set apart, by importunity: the Marquis wished his Son John to go and fetch the money, or else never to see his face any more; part of which injunction the Lord John performed, but never the other. Not long after the Lord Herbert coming to his Father, his Father received him with wont (but unexpected) cheerfulness: it so happened that my Lord Herbert began to excuse himself unto his Father, concerning this business; on whom the Father bestowed this language: Son, I pray save yourself the labour, for I do not blame you at all, neither am I angry with you; for I never trusted you with the money: I love no man the worse for following his profession; and you have made it your profession (all along) to deceive your Father, to help the King, but I do not love a man that will take away another man's profession from him, and deceive his own Father of his money, and his brother of his calling.   

APOPHTH. L.  
WHen it was told the Marquis that some would warrant him, that if he would, he might be Duke of Somerset; he made them this reply: When I was Earl of Worcester, I was well to live: since I was a Matquess I am worse by one hundred thousand pound, and if I should be a Duke, I should be an arrant beggar: Wherefore I had rather (if I might) go back again to my Earldom, then at this rate keep on my pace, to the Dukedom of Somerset.   

APO. LI.  
AT the beginning of this Parliament, there were certain rustics who came unto Raglan Castle, to search the Castle for Arms, my Lord being a Papist, the Marquis met them at the gate, and with a stern countenance, demanded of them what they would have: they somewhat daunted at his presence, told his Lordship that they were come to search his house for Arms, the Marquis told them, surely no, they were come to take the Castle, and all that was in it; they told him not, than he asked them, why they did disarm him, if they did not intent to take away his money, they said because he was a Recusant, the Marquis told them, that he was a Peer of the Realm, and no convict Recusant, and therefore the Law could not in reason take notice of any such thing, and demanded of them, whether or no they had been in any such authority before? they answered, no: then (said the marquis with a loud voice) I'll make you before I go hence— and (as if some desperate and cautious resolution had kept back some words which might have discovered some design before that he had brought them to the place of execution) there making a stop, calling upon them to come along; The filly people amazed and full of horror hung back, and asked the marquis, what my Lord? what will you make us do? show your Commission (said the marquis) they glad it was no worse, told the marquis that they were satisfied, but I am not satisfied (said the marquis) for now you are come you shall search, if your Lordship will have us search (said the searchers) we will, but otherwise we will take your word. O I thank you hearty (said the marquis) but pray come along; they followed him, but knew not what to think on't, nor what should become of them following the Marquis, as if they had desired that his Lordship should have shown them the Castle, rather than as if they went with any authority to search for any Arms that were there, the Marquess still ask them if they had a mind to search here or there, they still answering his Lordship, no, no, my Lord, we know you mean no hurt, never ask him which was the way to the Armoury or the like, at length the Marquis brought them over the high bridge that arched over the moat that was between the Castle and the great Tower, wherein the Lord Herbert had newly contrived certain water-works, which when the several engines and wheels were to be set a going; much quantity of water through the hollow conveyances of the aqueducts, were to be let down from the top of the high Tower, which upon the first entrance of these wonderful Asinegoes; the Marquis had given order that these cataracts should begin to fall, which made such a fearful and hideous noise, by reason of the hollowness of the Tower, and the neighbouring echoes of the Castle, and the waters that were between and round them both, that there was such a roaring, as if the mouth of hell had been wide open and all the devils had been conjured up, that the poor silly men stood so amazed, as if they had been half dead, and yet they saw nothing; at last as the plot was laid, up comes a man staring and running, crying out before he came at us, look to yourselves my masters, for the Lions are all got lose; whereupon the searchers gave us such a lose, that they tumbled so over one another down the stairs, that we thought one half of them had broken their necks, never looking behind them, till they were sure they had got out of sight of the Castle.   

APO. LII.  
WHen General Fairfax came into the Leaguer before Raglan, and had sent us Propositions, wherein all the Officers and Soldiers were offered fair conditions, but none at all for the Marquis: we thinking it a thing so unanswerable and dishonourable in our own opinions, as to deliver it upon such conditions, were resolved to stand it out, to the last; which resolution of ours, begat in us an expectation of a storm; which expectation of ours, was improved, by some intelligence which we had to that purpose: which the Marquis having notice of, called all his Officers before him, and made this Speech unto them.  
Gentlemen, I have somewhat to say to you, which it may be you may take for a compliment; but this is no time for compliment: I understand that you expect (this night) to be stormed; wherefore I have called you before me; and do make it my suit unto you, that rather than this storm should be raised for my sake, only (which must be so, seeing that you are all offered large Articles for yourselves) that I may be the Ionas to be cast over board, rather than that ye all should perish; for I have but a little old, and cold blood running in my veins, which is not worth the effusion of so much precious and youthful blood, as is running in yours: and therefore you shall do me a pleasure, and yourselves a benefit if you grant me my request: To which it was answered by all, that the terms were not honourable, whereat the Marquis replied;  
Non ponebat enim rumores ante salutem, was the maxim of a Soldier as much as any thing; but being denied his request, the Officers all told him, that they would all die to a man, but they would have like Artiles for him, as for themselves: to which in mild terms and Princely gravity, he told them: I do not like that way of embalming, neither to be served up to my eternity, as a thing newly taken out of the souse of so many friend's blood.   

APO. LIII.  
WHen the Garrison was surrendered and the General had entered the Castle, the marquis met him in the Hall, and (ask which was he) the Marquis saluted him thus: Sir, I hear you are a man of you word, that was it that took the Castle: otherwise, had you been never so tall a man of your hands, you should have stayed a little while longer, before we had bid you welcome: the General told his Lordship, that knowing him to be a man of honour, he thought himself obliged to make that journey, on purpose to see his Lordship fairly dealt with, according to Articles, and to be delivered into civil hands: the Marquis replied, I thank you for your courtesy, but I wish that you had let it alone until some other time, for there was no haste.   

APO. LIV.  
AFter much Conference between the Marquis and the General, wherein many things were requested of the General by the Marquis, and being (as he thought himself) happy in the obtainment, his Lordship was pleased to make a merry Petition unto the General, as he was taking his leave, viz. in the behalf of a couple of pigeons which were wont to come to his hand, and feed out of it constantly: in whose behalf he desired the General; that he would be pleased to give him his protection for them, fearing the little command that he should have over his Soldiers in that behalf, to which the General said, I am glad to see your Lordship so merry: O (said the Marquis) you have given me no other cause, and as hasty as you are, you shall not go, until I have told you a story. There were two men going up Holborn in a cart to be hanged, one of them being very merry and jocund, gave offence unto the other, who was as sad and dejected, in so much as that the downcast man said unto the other, I wonder brother you can be so frolic, considering the business we are going about: tush answered the other, thou art a fool, thou wentest a thieving, & never thought'st what would become of thee: wherefore being all of a sudden surprised, thou fallest into such a shaking f●t, that I am ashamed to see thee in that condition, whereas I was resolved to be hanged, before ever I fell to stealing, which is the reason, that (nothing happening strange or unexpected) I go so composed unto my death. So (said the Marquis) I resolved to undergo whatsoever (even the worst of evil) you were able to lay upon me, before ever I took up Arms for my Sovereign; and therefore wonder not that I am so merry.   

APO. LV.  
THere was a Colonel (whose civility in other respects, deserves to have his name unmentioned) who came unto the Marquis (after the Castle was delivered) at the first as not remembering himself a Conqueror, whom the Marquis receiving as not forgetting himself to be Lord of Raglan, until such time as the Colonel desired reparation of certain losses which he had sustained by his son Glamorgan, the Marquis prayed him not to call him to account for other folks, for he had enough to do to answer for himself: hereat the Colonel clapped his hat upon his head, and sat himself down in a chair of State, which was upon my Lords right hand, which the Marquis observing, gently said unto one of his servants, I pray reach him the footstool.   

APO. LVI.  
WHen the Marquis of Worcester was brought up to London, and was committed to the Black-rod, he asked me, now what have they done with me? I answered, they have committed your Lordship to the Black-rod, his Lordship presently made me this reply: I had rather be under the Black-rod, then under a black cloud.   

APO. LVII.  
WHen it was told his Lordship not many hours before he died, that leave was obtained by the Parliament, that he might be buried in Windsor Castle: (where there is a peculiar for the family) within the great Chapel, and wherein divers of his Ancestors lies buried) with some sprightliness he spoke aloud, God bless us all! why than I shall take a better Castle when I am dead, than they took from me whilst I was alive.   

APO. LVIII.  
A Little before he died, lie fell into many heavenly ejaculations, and Divine raptures (as those who knew him b●st, knew those things to be but ordinary with him, and therefore no wonder that they would not leave him, till death had set Divine meditations to close his eyes) and in that interval of death's pangs (which we use to call a lightning before death) he happened (as if his pious soul (like a candle going out) had made one great blaze) to speak these words a little before he died, to those who were about him. I pray rejoice with me you that love me, and thank God for it: I have my liberty, my health, and my deliverance, from all mine enemies granted unto me: and thereupon he paused, as if he expected (some body to speak to him, which being understood by one who was nearest unto him, he asked, how so my Lord? to which he returned this answer, My soul shall shortly have her liberty from the prison of my body, my health shall be my salvation, and the riddance of mine enemies, shall be my Saviour's deliverance from all my sins; and thereupon he fell into a kind of laughter, such an one as might become a dying man, transported with inward joy, and entering into his triumph over death, and said, Lord bless us, what a fearful thing was this Black-rod? when I heard of it first: it did so run in my mind, that it made an affliction out of mine own imaginations: but when I spoke with the man, I found him a very civil Gentleman, but I saw no Black-rod; so if we would not let these troubles and adversities of ours, be made worse by our own apprehensions, no Rods would be black.   

APO. LIX.  
I Had procured for the Marquis of Worcester (being a Commissioner for the surrender of Raglan Castle) these Articles in his behalf, viz. that he should have his liberty to march and sail away with all his goods and necessaries to any part of land beyond the Seas, and that he should have under the General's hand, passes granted unto him, both by Land and Sea, with carts by Land, and waftage by Sea, and Convoys by both, paying the ordinary rates, and that in regard that he was an excepted man, a cessation from arms and work was agreed upon for seven days, in which time an Ordinance of Parliament was to be obtained for the ratification of the foresaid Articles; but it seems the Marquis had let some insinuations of the enemy, batter his wisdom, where it lay not so well fortified as it should be, against so prevailing an enemy as covetousness, for if he had any fault it was that, and if any weakness it was that, which was rather incident to his age then him, suspicion, these two agreed very well together (like fire and charcoal that makes a most excellent fire to consume themselves) and destroy the subject of their residence, in quo quis peccat in eo punitur, beware of covetousness and suspecting your friends, for this wise man lost himself, and made shipwreck of his wisdom, even in the Harbour after so long a voyage as threescore and sixteen years' tossement upon the waves of this troublesome world, and lost so great a bottom, and so goodly a fraught, as Raglan and all that was within her, out of a mere itching humour of getting in with that very tide: for it was that faction (that common disease that had spread itself through all the parts of the King's Army) had now played his last prize, so that the ears that had let in so much wisdom all along, were now at last stopped with poison so, that he could not hearken unto the advice of his best friends, after that the subtle instruments of his worst enemies had persuaded him to acts tending to his own ruin and destruction, for (the place appointed for the Treaty being at one Oats his house, a place indifferent between Raglan Castle, and the General Fairfax his Quarters then at uske) the Marquis of Worcester had caused a spy to creep into such a part of the house appointed for the Treaty, that he might supervise and hear all our words and actions (being drawn thereunto rather by proffered service then cause of jealousy) whereby insinuation had now got some advantage of ground whereon to place its engine, for this fellow after that we had concluded upon the foresaid Articles (with much insistance) the Commissioners for the General as their last arrow, chanced to shoot this unlucky shaft which hit the mark they aimed at, for they desired us notwithsanding all these procurements, that we would persuade my Lord to throw himself upon the mercy of the Parliament, and that if he would do so it should be better for him, and that the General should mediate for him in his behalf, that he might have some allowance out of his Estate, whereby he might live like himself; also there was an overture of a Petition to be drawn by the Committee of the County in his behalf, which should declare unto the Parliament how little hostility he had used until such time as he was provoked within the pales of his own Park, and that he never gathered any Contribution from the Country, but paid the Soldiers of his Garrison out of his privy purse, etc. all which and more they might very justly have done, if it had been possible they could have been so honest; the truth whereof made the poor Marquis the more confident of the reality: all this we thought not fit to acquaint the Marquis with upon our return, lest delusion should get into that ear that was too open for such a reception, and pester and infect the clearness of his judgement with the evaporation of an apple out of Palestine: the non-performance whereof, this man makes to the Marquis, a failing of trust, and a falling short of duty in us, and withal, puts a jealousy into the Marquis of his own children's, and some others, resolution to carry him away by virtue of these Articles, and then to use him as they listed, and do wirh him what they pleased, and therefore it were better for him to throw himself upon the Parliament, who cannot possibly be so unreasonable as not to let him have what he might have had without them, whatsoever more that he was sure of, to dispose of as he list: and all this was to the end, that if he could cause distrust to be given to his own children and his faithful friends, he and such as he should have the secret conveyance of most of his money, plate and jewels, which they had; for the Marquis following their counsels, threw himself upon the mercy of the Parliament, which was not otherwise then as is before related, which being once done, the trusties never saw his Lordship more, but sent him word that they were bound in Bonds for his sons in as much as that came unto, and now ●hey had the means in their hands, they would save themselves harmless: Thus Kings may be lost by their too much goodness, and wisemen may be overthrown by overwisdome, the Marquis by such hard usage on all sides, being brought so near his end, asked us what was the name of the place where they had brought him, it was answered Covengarden, he demanded of us, what we thought of Fortune-tellers? it was answered, that some of them spoke shrewdly: It was told me (said he) by some of them before ever I was a Catholic, that I should die in a Covent, but I never believed him before; yet I hope you will not bury me in a garden: and directing his speech to me in particular, he desired me that I would go to the General and tell him how it was with him, and that now he was not in a condition of desiring any earthly favour, or making use of any humane mercy, yet in regard that the General had engaged himself in some particulars concerning him, which he was confident he did perform on his part, but was abused in that the bare Articles of the surrender of his house were only delivered into the Parliament and not his letter, which should have signified the Articles which he waved, throwing himself upon their mercy, that he would be pleased to have some respect unto his own honour, lest that should suffer with him, and that he would certify the house of Lords how ill he had been used, and that their favours might reach to that if it went no further, that he might die a freeman. I did this message to the General, whom I found touched with a sense of true Nobility, hating those false deal, and sorrowing for his Lordship's hard usage, both which procured from him, a Letter to the House of Peers, which testified unto them the truth of all the particulars required; which Letter was read in the House, but all the mercy or justice it procured to the Marquis, or respect to the General, was, that they carped at the General's writing unto them, and not coming himself being he was in Town: and wondering that he should offer to call him Marquis and not Earl of Worcester, & so fling off all further considerations with this only satisfaction; that they knew as much before: wherefore let no man pity their fall, though their Lordships were all set up like so many dumb statues in the House of Commons; but when the Marquis had an account of all the passages, O (said he) when the noblest & highest element courts the noise of the waves, the truest Emblem of the madness of the people, and when the highest region stoops unto the lower, and the lowest gets up into the highest seat, what can be expected but a Chaos of confusion and dissolution of the universe? I do believe that they are so near unto their end, that as weak as I am there is Physic to be had, if a man gold find, to prolong my days, that I might outlive their honours.   

APO. LX.  
A Little before he died (reflecting upon the Articles which he had waved, upon the surrender of Raglan into the Parliaments hands) Ah Doctor (said he) if I had made use of those Articles which you had procured in my behalf, I had not been now so near unto the end of my life, & the beginning of my happiness: I forsook life, liberty and estate (which I might have had) and threw myself upon their mercy; which when I had done, if, to seize upon all my goods, to pull down my house, to sell my estate, and to send for up, such a weak body as mine was, so enfeebled by diseases, in the dead of Winter, and the winter of mine Age, be merciful; what are they whose mercies are so cruel? neither do I expect that they should stop at all this; for I fear that they will persecute me after death. You tell me (that when I am dead) you will petition the Parliament for money to bury me; then will they appoint those, who will dispose of the time, and manner of my Burial; and you shall see, that they (being it is so near this good time) will cause me to be buried according to the Directory: In spite of Christmas day: upon Christmas, and so they did.   
FINIS.